1
00:00:07,369 --> 00:00:08,626
D'oh!

2
00:00:52,064 --> 00:00:53,380
It's today.

3
00:00:53,382 --> 00:00:54,472
It's today!

4
00:00:54,550 --> 00:00:56,641
- What day is it?
- Saturday.

5
00:00:56,718 --> 00:00:57,868
It's today!

6
00:01:04,460 --> 00:01:05,500
Whoopie.

7
00:01:05,577 --> 00:01:07,894
Move over Los Angeles and Philadelphia.

8
00:01:07,896 --> 00:01:11,581
It's Springfield's turn to
have its drunken sports fans

9
00:01:11,733 --> 00:01:14,901
climb streetlights and
burn down the town.

10
00:01:14,903 --> 00:01:17,737
That's right, finally,
after years of phantom fouls

11
00:01:17,739 --> 00:01:19,089
and butt fumbles,

12
00:01:19,241 --> 00:01:23,000
one of our beloved local sports teams,
the "Pin Pals,"

13
00:01:23,002 --> 00:01:24,928
have made it to the state championship.

14
00:01:25,004 --> 00:01:28,190
With Springfield's years of
failure at sports, the arts,

15
00:01:28,266 --> 00:01:30,767
and our disastrous
toddler boxing tournament,

16
00:01:30,844 --> 00:01:34,696
it's no exaggeration to say
that our "Super Bowlers" are

17
00:01:34,773 --> 00:01:38,650
garnering tremendous pin-terest.

18
00:01:44,433 --> 00:01:47,117
Finally, strikes I can support.

19
00:01:48,194 --> 00:01:50,027
Mayor, you've been accused of being

20
00:01:50,105 --> 00:01:52,122
a fair-weather fan for this team.

21
00:01:52,198 --> 00:01:53,289
Not true.

22
00:01:53,366 --> 00:01:56,033
I am a dyed-in-the-wool fan of these...

23
00:01:56,111 --> 00:01:57,127
Bowlers.

24
00:01:57,129 --> 00:01:59,036
Bowlers? Really?

25
00:01:59,056 --> 00:02:00,630
People still do that?

26
00:02:00,707 --> 00:02:03,800
So you don't mind that they say
you're jumping on the bandwagon?

27
00:02:03,877 --> 00:02:07,729
Let me just say,
no one jumps later or harder than I.

28
00:02:07,806 --> 00:02:11,400
To the Pin Heads, eh... Pin Pals.

29
00:02:15,739 --> 00:02:20,650
And now, your heroes, the Pin Pals.

30
00:02:22,318 --> 00:02:23,745
How you doing?

31
00:02:23,822 --> 00:02:25,155
Marry me!

32
00:02:25,231 --> 00:02:26,656
Oh, yeah. Sure, sure.

33
00:02:26,733 --> 00:02:28,900
Anyhoo, I could never have made it

34
00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:32,904
without my very good friends,
Homer, Carl, Flanders,

35
00:02:32,981 --> 00:02:36,908
and that new guy from Portugal
whose, uh, name I forget.

36
00:02:43,767 --> 00:02:45,659
Yi-yo-yu!

37
00:02:47,295 --> 00:02:49,295
He don't speak the good
English or nothing,

38
00:02:49,297 --> 00:02:51,297
but he sure as hell can roll strikes.

39
00:02:51,299 --> 00:02:55,301
And he's got a very hot sister,
or girlfriend, or mother...

40
00:02:55,303 --> 00:02:56,828
It's really hard to tell.

41
00:02:59,232 --> 00:03:00,564
Eu te amo.

42
00:03:00,642 --> 00:03:01,991
All right. Based on my experience,

43
00:03:02,068 --> 00:03:03,493
that is not his mother.

44
00:03:03,569 --> 00:03:07,238
Uh, I just want to say,
we aren't just doing this for us.

45
00:03:07,315 --> 00:03:11,167
It is going to mean the
world to this entire town.

46
00:03:11,244 --> 00:03:12,910
Excuse me, but I don't see

47
00:03:12,929 --> 00:03:15,505
how the town possibly
benefits from this.

48
00:03:15,581 --> 00:03:16,765
We'd be helped a lot more

49
00:03:16,916 --> 00:03:19,175
by a traffic light on Elm Street.

50
00:03:20,662 --> 00:03:23,587
Smack him with his bone! Smack him good!

51
00:03:23,665 --> 00:03:25,589
Uh, my friends and neighbors...

52
00:03:25,667 --> 00:03:26,941
Reluctant neighbors.

53
00:03:28,484 --> 00:03:31,279
I'd just like us to, uh, bow our heads,

54
00:03:31,356 --> 00:03:33,022
- and thank...
- Stupid Flanders.

55
00:03:33,099 --> 00:03:35,008
Turns everything good into church.

56
00:03:35,010 --> 00:03:37,527
Just once, can you not mention God?

57
00:03:37,603 --> 00:03:40,346
All righty, then,
let me just s-say way to go,

58
00:03:40,348 --> 00:03:41,956
Big Guy in the Sky.

59
00:03:42,033 --> 00:03:45,535
And his son, Jesus Christ. Amen.

60
00:03:45,611 --> 00:03:47,611
Jesus is God's rod.

61
00:03:48,746 --> 00:03:50,857
Jesus is God's rod.

62
00:03:51,438 --> 00:03:52,458
Blasphemy.

63
00:03:53,361 --> 00:03:58,047
And now, O captain,
my captain, Homer Simpson.

64
00:03:59,868 --> 00:04:02,477
There's one word that defines this team.

65
00:04:02,554 --> 00:04:05,296
And that word isn't "can" or "might."

66
00:04:05,298 --> 00:04:09,225
That word is, uh, wait a minute.

67
00:04:09,302 --> 00:04:11,060
Cards out of order...

68
00:04:11,137 --> 00:04:13,137
Can't read my own writing here.

69
00:04:13,139 --> 00:04:15,398
Oh, okay, it's "will."

70
00:04:15,550 --> 00:04:17,784
Yes, we will!

71
00:04:19,478 --> 00:04:21,496
Let's go Pin Pals.

72
00:04:21,573 --> 00:04:23,498
Win that title.

73
00:04:23,575 --> 00:04:26,059
Win that title!

74
00:04:26,061 --> 00:04:30,630
- Let's get pickles.
- Let's get pickles.

75
00:04:31,583 --> 00:04:32,823
All right folks, break it up.

76
00:04:32,901 --> 00:04:35,009
Unless you're jerkin' a gherkin,
go on home.

77
00:04:39,407 --> 00:04:42,742
Oh, Homie. Today was magnificent.

78
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,002
I always thought bowling
was just an excuse

79
00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:48,247
to get away from the kids
and drink a lot of beer.

80
00:04:48,249 --> 00:04:51,025
What? No. Never. What?

81
00:04:51,102 --> 00:04:54,253
But now it's made the
whole town proud of you.

82
00:04:54,255 --> 00:04:56,347
And I'm part of the town,

83
00:04:56,424 --> 00:04:58,015
so this comes from the heart.

84
00:04:58,093 --> 00:05:00,776
Ugh, I can't say it.
I don't want to say it.

85
00:05:00,853 --> 00:05:02,762
You can't make me say it,
and I won't say it.

86
00:05:02,764 --> 00:05:04,263
Or even think it!

87
00:05:04,265 --> 00:05:05,665
Aw, thank you, son.

88
00:05:06,710 --> 00:05:08,859
I love you all. Water my plants.

89
00:05:08,937 --> 00:05:10,694
You don't have any plants.

90
00:05:10,772 --> 00:05:12,630
Then we're good. Bye.

91
00:05:26,304 --> 00:05:27,787
Ain't this the life?

92
00:05:27,789 --> 00:05:29,138
Whirly birding,

93
00:05:29,140 --> 00:05:31,791
full can of soda, two bags of peanuts.

94
00:05:31,793 --> 00:05:33,292
I've never known such luxury.

95
00:05:33,294 --> 00:05:35,461
I could die right now a happy man.

96
00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:37,405
This is your captain speaking.

97
00:05:37,482 --> 00:05:39,632
Please buckle up as we attempt to clear

98
00:05:39,634 --> 00:05:41,242
the treacherous mountain peak.

99
00:05:41,319 --> 00:05:42,401
Wha...?

100
00:05:43,729 --> 00:05:47,165
No worries.
Every chopper in town takes this route.

101
00:05:54,424 --> 00:05:57,667
Overweight? How is that possible?

102
00:05:57,743 --> 00:06:01,671
Pilot, five passengers,
five 14-pound balls...

103
00:06:01,747 --> 00:06:03,598
Uh, I wanted a little extra oomph,

104
00:06:03,749 --> 00:06:06,342
so I actually brought a 16-pound ball.

105
00:06:06,419 --> 00:06:10,271
Me, too. By which I mean I
brought two 16-pound balls.

106
00:06:10,348 --> 00:06:12,682
Anyone else want to
brag about their balls?

107
00:06:12,758 --> 00:06:14,108
I mean, seriously?

108
00:06:14,185 --> 00:06:17,094
Fausto bring this. For good luck.

109
00:06:17,096 --> 00:06:19,280
Yi-yo-yu!

110
00:06:21,342 --> 00:06:23,785
I'm gonna have to put
her down on the mountain.

111
00:06:23,861 --> 00:06:26,079
Of all the times to be sober.

112
00:06:29,367 --> 00:06:31,584
This could be it.

113
00:06:33,521 --> 00:06:35,296
At least I can say goodbye.

114
00:06:35,373 --> 00:06:37,190
- Hello?
- Marge...

115
00:06:37,192 --> 00:06:40,359
We're not home now,
so please don't rob us.

116
00:06:40,361 --> 00:06:41,618
Leave a message.

117
00:06:42,362 --> 00:06:44,697
Listen, Marge, we've had our arguments,

118
00:06:44,716 --> 00:06:47,383
we've had our things,
but thank God I have the time

119
00:06:47,460 --> 00:06:49,126
to tell you how I really feel...

120
00:06:49,204 --> 00:06:51,295
- Mailbox full.
- D'oh!

121
00:07:02,325 --> 00:07:03,658
Whee! Ah!

122
00:07:08,890 --> 00:07:11,815
As your captain, one thing is clear:

123
00:07:11,893 --> 00:07:13,559
we must get off this mountain.

124
00:07:13,561 --> 00:07:15,228
And I'm no expert on mountains,

125
00:07:15,230 --> 00:07:17,839
but I say down is this way.

126
00:07:20,235 --> 00:07:21,592
D'oh!

127
00:07:24,922 --> 00:07:26,139
D'oh!

128
00:07:29,853 --> 00:07:31,335
What the...?

129
00:07:31,412 --> 00:07:32,854
I wouldn't leave just yet, Homer.

130
00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:35,356
Our new friend there
still hasn't woken up.

131
00:07:35,508 --> 00:07:37,841
Oh, God! Spanish-what's-his-name.

132
00:07:37,919 --> 00:07:40,778
It's Portuguese-what's-his-name,
you idiot.

133
00:07:41,364 --> 00:07:42,438
Chief?

134
00:07:42,515 --> 00:07:44,757
- Is there any word?
- 'Fraid not.

135
00:07:44,759 --> 00:07:47,443
Apparently they knocked
out a cell phone tower

136
00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:48,685
on the way down.

137
00:07:48,763 --> 00:07:51,597
Wait, wait!
Uh, now we're getting somewhere.

138
00:07:51,599 --> 00:07:52,874
- Yeah.

139
00:07:53,859 --> 00:07:56,786
Oh, thank God, man.
I was starting to lose all hope.

140
00:07:56,862 --> 00:07:58,621
Oh, you hungry cops

141
00:07:58,697 --> 00:08:00,273
put-a my kids through college.

142
00:08:00,275 --> 00:08:03,384
Seven-a sisters.
Not the women's colleges.

143
00:08:03,461 --> 00:08:05,053
I have-a seven daughters:

144
00:08:05,129 --> 00:08:08,205
Gia, Mia, Pia, Tia, Zia,

145
00:08:08,283 --> 00:08:10,966
Iphigenia, and then Emily,
for some reason.

146
00:08:11,043 --> 00:08:12,101
I don't know.

147
00:08:13,638 --> 00:08:16,046
Hmm, still barely breathing.

148
00:08:17,345 --> 00:08:18,733
If the Lord could carry His cross,

149
00:08:18,735 --> 00:08:20,960
I can carry this poor soul.

150
00:08:20,962 --> 00:08:22,962
Huh? Well, look at that.

151
00:08:22,964 --> 00:08:26,574
Flanders risking his own
life to save another.

152
00:08:26,651 --> 00:08:27,655
Wow.

153
00:08:27,726 --> 00:08:29,985
Homer, could you get my water bottle?

154
00:08:30,062 --> 00:08:31,537
No.

155
00:08:35,801 --> 00:08:37,752
A phone! Someone's got cell service.

156
00:08:37,903 --> 00:08:39,495
Hello, Moe speaking.

157
00:08:39,572 --> 00:08:41,497
Hi, I'm looking for a Mr. Simpson.

158
00:08:41,574 --> 00:08:42,982
First name, Homer.

159
00:08:42,984 --> 00:08:44,650
Oh, I recognize that voice.

160
00:08:44,652 --> 00:08:46,168
You ever call me again, you little puke,

161
00:08:46,245 --> 00:08:49,764
I'm gonna cut you up,
use your intestines as violin strings,

162
00:08:49,841 --> 00:08:51,507
and play "Flight of the Bumblebee!"

163
00:08:51,659 --> 00:08:54,251
I'm gonna go Rimsky-Korsakov on yas.

164
00:08:54,329 --> 00:08:56,587
I'm just trying to find my dad.

165
00:08:56,664 --> 00:08:58,848
Yeah, right.
Try looking in hell, hell boy!

166
00:08:58,924 --> 00:09:00,666
Ay caramba!

167
00:09:00,668 --> 00:09:02,184
Moe, you idiot!

168
00:09:02,261 --> 00:09:04,612
You were the only one
with cellular service.

169
00:09:05,544 --> 00:09:07,931
What have I done?
Me and my anger issues.

170
00:09:08,009 --> 00:09:11,026
Dr. Rubenstein's gonna
be so disappointed.

171
00:09:13,606 --> 00:09:15,272
Stupid avalanche.

172
00:09:21,539 --> 00:09:23,356
No connection.

173
00:09:23,358 --> 00:09:24,857
And it's almost night.

174
00:09:25,860 --> 00:09:27,860
I feel so much regret.

175
00:09:27,862 --> 00:09:31,714
I never got the chance to
tell my son I loved him.

176
00:09:31,790 --> 00:09:34,625
Never? You're 87 years old.

177
00:09:34,702 --> 00:09:37,036
Uh, it was on my "to do" list.

178
00:09:37,038 --> 00:09:38,053
Take a look.

179
00:09:38,130 --> 00:09:39,163
See?

180
00:09:43,844 --> 00:09:46,695
Still no sign of the missing bowlers.

181
00:09:46,772 --> 00:09:48,197
And one thing I must say now,

182
00:09:48,273 --> 00:09:50,440
there is nothing a
newscaster loves better

183
00:09:50,518 --> 00:09:51,867
than missing people,

184
00:09:51,869 --> 00:09:53,794
be they on a mountain, in a submarine,

185
00:09:53,871 --> 00:09:56,112
or, preferably, deep under rubble.

186
00:09:56,132 --> 00:09:57,706
Even if we know they're dead,

187
00:09:57,783 --> 00:09:59,783
we'll keep it quiet for a few days,

188
00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:01,527
just to keep the ratings up.

189
00:10:01,529 --> 00:10:04,788
And now, tonight's lotto,
which no one ever wins.

190
00:10:07,368 --> 00:10:08,458
No...!

191
00:10:08,536 --> 00:10:11,386
Why am I talking like this?

192
00:10:11,463 --> 00:10:14,890
I'm not falling,
just clinging to the edge!

193
00:10:15,876 --> 00:10:19,487
Oh, man, that was close.
How deep is that thing, anyway?

194
00:10:19,563 --> 00:10:22,490
Only one way to find out.

195
00:10:27,087 --> 00:10:30,389
Gentlemen,
I fear we're starting to hallucinate.

196
00:10:30,391 --> 00:10:31,832
That's crazy talk.

197
00:10:31,909 --> 00:10:34,001
Barney, pick up the spare.

198
00:10:39,342 --> 00:10:42,492
Listen to me. Time to get your
cuckoos back in your clocks.

199
00:10:42,570 --> 00:10:44,903
We're approaching the
point of no return.

200
00:10:44,905 --> 00:10:47,289
Flanders, h-how do I put this?

201
00:10:47,366 --> 00:10:48,999
I was thinking I might want to...

202
00:10:49,076 --> 00:10:51,185
oh, this is so embarrassing...

203
00:10:51,303 --> 00:10:52,311
pray.

204
00:10:52,337 --> 00:10:56,006
There are no atheists in foxholes.

205
00:10:56,083 --> 00:10:58,083
Oh, yes. Foxes are very religious.

206
00:10:58,085 --> 00:11:00,753
I'd be praying if a bunch of
guys in red vests on horses

207
00:11:00,755 --> 00:11:02,104
were trying to kill me.

208
00:11:02,180 --> 00:11:04,256
Now, make with the Our Father.

209
00:11:06,443 --> 00:11:09,094
Still no word on the Springfield team.

210
00:11:09,096 --> 00:11:13,123
Please observe an anticipatory
60-second moment of silence.

211
00:11:16,453 --> 00:11:17,878
Wasn't me.

212
00:11:19,364 --> 00:11:20,464
Strike.

213
00:11:22,126 --> 00:11:25,219
My friends, if we just
have faith in the good Lord

214
00:11:25,296 --> 00:11:27,388
who blew us to bits on
the side of the mountain,

215
00:11:27,464 --> 00:11:28,556
we'll be okay.

216
00:11:28,632 --> 00:11:31,708
Hey, Churchy Joe,
tell that to my piggies!

217
00:11:31,786 --> 00:11:33,394
The word "frostbite" sounds so cutesy

218
00:11:33,470 --> 00:11:35,954
when people get it at
Buffalo Bills games,

219
00:11:35,956 --> 00:11:38,214
but when it happens to you, ugh!

220
00:11:38,292 --> 00:11:41,794
Well, I think things will be just fine.

221
00:11:41,796 --> 00:11:44,646
Really? And who made you Optimist Prime?

222
00:11:44,723 --> 00:11:47,983
I broke open my first aid kit.

223
00:11:49,051 --> 00:11:50,894
Anybody else holding out on anything?

224
00:11:50,971 --> 00:11:52,562
Like me with these two bags of peanuts,

225
00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:56,625
which I'm going to eat right
now despite my peanut allergy.

226
00:12:01,239 --> 00:12:04,091
See this?
This is the face of a survivor.

227
00:12:05,744 --> 00:12:08,337
Uh, Christmas decorations?

228
00:12:08,413 --> 00:12:10,413
Uh, in October?

229
00:12:10,491 --> 00:12:13,267
We've done everything we can
to help your father, so...

230
00:12:13,344 --> 00:12:15,994
I thought this would
help us feel better.

231
00:12:18,833 --> 00:12:21,591
Bart, they say a kid is only as happy

232
00:12:21,669 --> 00:12:23,593
as their saddest parent.

233
00:12:29,267 --> 00:12:31,434
Zoom in on the heartbroken family.

234
00:12:31,454 --> 00:12:32,786
Zoom, I say!

235
00:12:32,788 --> 00:12:34,288
No. I can't.

236
00:12:34,365 --> 00:12:36,698
I didn't go to journalism
school to be a ghoul.

237
00:12:36,775 --> 00:12:38,792
I went because it was an easy major.

238
00:12:38,869 --> 00:12:42,688
Take your soul and get the
hell out of local news.

239
00:12:43,858 --> 00:12:46,257
Fausto... not good.

240
00:12:46,259 --> 00:12:48,360
My friend, we will get you back

241
00:12:48,362 --> 00:12:51,621
and then you and I will
have a grand old time.

242
00:12:51,699 --> 00:12:53,456
I hear you silently agreeing.

243
00:12:54,493 --> 00:12:56,218
We'll go fishing and make s'mores

244
00:12:56,294 --> 00:12:58,203
and we'll be best friends.

245
00:12:58,205 --> 00:12:59,813
You're a Catholic and I'm a Christian,

246
00:12:59,890 --> 00:13:01,556
but we'll work through that.

247
00:13:01,633 --> 00:13:03,817
Ooh, more silent agreement.

248
00:13:03,894 --> 00:13:05,394
Here, my friend, let me...
let me set you down

249
00:13:05,470 --> 00:13:07,529
so we can talk about our great future.

250
00:13:08,732 --> 00:13:11,400
Save your breath, pal. He's dead.

251
00:13:11,552 --> 00:13:14,236
No! No, he's not dead.
H-He's just resting.

252
00:13:14,312 --> 00:13:16,555
Oh, Lord, you can't be this cruel.

253
00:13:16,557 --> 00:13:19,725
Sorry, man.
I knew he was a goner a while ago,

254
00:13:19,727 --> 00:13:21,910
but I liked watching you carry him.

255
00:13:21,987 --> 00:13:23,562
We were gonna make s'mores.

256
00:13:23,564 --> 00:13:26,248
Now there'll just be s'nothing.

257
00:13:26,324 --> 00:13:28,825
Poor Fausto. Poor Flanders.

258
00:13:28,903 --> 00:13:30,660
You really tried, man.

259
00:13:30,738 --> 00:13:32,237
Oh, I mean it.

260
00:13:32,239 --> 00:13:34,089
I'm not just hugging
you because you're warm,

261
00:13:34,166 --> 00:13:35,924
although that's a big part of it.

262
00:13:36,001 --> 00:13:37,184
You're a good man.

263
00:13:37,261 --> 00:13:39,186
Homer, I knew you had a heart.

264
00:13:39,263 --> 00:13:41,504
Just like the Cowardly Lion.

265
00:13:41,582 --> 00:13:45,025
He always had a heart.
What he lacked was courage.

266
00:13:45,102 --> 00:13:47,677
And the Scarecrow lacked straw, right?

267
00:13:47,755 --> 00:13:49,254
No, he was nothing but straw.

268
00:13:49,256 --> 00:13:52,849
Wow. I'm looking at
everything with new eyes.

269
00:13:52,851 --> 00:13:54,760
Just like the Tin Man.

270
00:13:54,762 --> 00:13:56,778
That's not what the Tin Man...

271
00:13:56,855 --> 00:13:58,280
Look, just give me another hug.

272
00:14:00,337 --> 00:14:02,692
All right, gentlemen,
there's a subject we need to discuss.

273
00:14:02,770 --> 00:14:05,862
Now we've waited long enough,
I'm just going to say it:

274
00:14:05,940 --> 00:14:08,382
It is time that we
resorted to cannibalism.

275
00:14:08,459 --> 00:14:09,550
Mmm.

276
00:14:09,626 --> 00:14:11,793
What? No. Absolutely not.

277
00:14:11,946 --> 00:14:13,462
I'm not saying we eat him.

278
00:14:13,538 --> 00:14:16,089
I'm saying we prepare him to be eaten.

279
00:14:16,166 --> 00:14:18,708
If he gets frozen,
we'll just end up with junk food,

280
00:14:18,728 --> 00:14:20,619
like his hair or his toenails.

281
00:14:20,621 --> 00:14:21,621
What?

282
00:14:21,622 --> 00:14:22,896
Stop! Stop! Stop!

283
00:14:23,733 --> 00:14:25,307
Bawk! Bawk! Bawk!

284
00:14:25,383 --> 00:14:27,901
Just gimme a wing. Come on.
You got two, come on!

285
00:14:27,978 --> 00:14:30,154
No eating people.

286
00:14:36,645 --> 00:14:39,295
If I eat these,
and don't share them...

287
00:14:39,373 --> 00:14:41,055
it breaks every value I have.

288
00:14:41,132 --> 00:14:44,709
But just thinking about it
also means I've sinned. Hmm.

289
00:14:44,711 --> 00:14:46,711
I must say,
it's a lot easier to have this debate

290
00:14:46,713 --> 00:14:48,488
with my mouth full of matzah.

291
00:14:48,565 --> 00:14:50,323
Flanders?

292
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:52,642
- Yes?
- It's so clear to me now.

293
00:14:52,719 --> 00:14:54,327
You're the better man, Ned.

294
00:14:54,404 --> 00:14:55,570
Well, that's not true.

295
00:14:55,572 --> 00:14:57,447
You've got the highest
average on the team.

296
00:14:57,482 --> 00:14:58,832
I'm nothing compared to you.

297
00:14:58,909 --> 00:15:01,242
Have you noticed I haven't called you
"stupid Flanders"

298
00:15:01,319 --> 00:15:02,652
once on this mountain?

299
00:15:02,729 --> 00:15:05,154
What do you want, a Nobel Peace Prize?

300
00:15:05,232 --> 00:15:08,157
Sorry, sorry, I really do appreciate it.

301
00:15:08,235 --> 00:15:09,492
It's just that I've come to realize

302
00:15:09,569 --> 00:15:11,736
I'm not a natural leader, like you.

303
00:15:11,738 --> 00:15:14,514
The Lord has a time and a
place for everyone, my friend.

304
00:15:14,591 --> 00:15:16,241
Homer, if the high altitude

305
00:15:16,243 --> 00:15:17,759
hasn't turned your brain to mulch,

306
00:15:17,835 --> 00:15:19,669
would you like to lead us in prayer?

307
00:15:19,746 --> 00:15:22,522
Heavenly father, who art in truck stop.

308
00:15:22,599 --> 00:15:25,692
Ping-pong. Rock. Zipper. Jambalaya.

309
00:15:28,287 --> 00:15:29,287
Now, don't worry.

310
00:15:29,289 --> 00:15:31,423
Just 'cause one of us has
a tickle in his whistle

311
00:15:31,425 --> 00:15:33,200
doesn't mean...

312
00:15:37,372 --> 00:15:40,615
We're in the tenth frame, people.

313
00:15:40,692 --> 00:15:43,859
If you want me to eat youse later,
just say nothing.

314
00:15:57,784 --> 00:15:59,542
Chief, any news?

315
00:15:59,619 --> 00:16:01,286
About what? Oh, right.

316
00:16:01,288 --> 00:16:03,379
Um, Marge, with conditions

317
00:16:03,398 --> 00:16:05,715
as bad as they are on that mountain,

318
00:16:05,792 --> 00:16:09,477
even if they somehow did
survive the crash, uh,

319
00:16:09,554 --> 00:16:11,646
oh, how can I put this gently?

320
00:16:11,723 --> 00:16:13,389
What do you mean, "gently"?

321
00:16:13,467 --> 00:16:15,242
You basically told me they're dead!

322
00:16:15,318 --> 00:16:17,911
Will you please leave my family be?

323
00:16:18,726 --> 00:16:20,488
Never easy being a cop.

324
00:16:20,490 --> 00:16:21,973
Then why did you become one?

325
00:16:21,975 --> 00:16:24,826
'Cause I look great in blue.
It goes with my eyes.

326
00:16:24,902 --> 00:16:26,327
Your eyes are black.

327
00:16:26,404 --> 00:16:28,329
Well, I've wasted my life.

328
00:16:30,150 --> 00:16:31,666
Patty and Selma?

329
00:16:31,743 --> 00:16:34,094
Oh, this day couldn't get any worse.

330
00:16:34,170 --> 00:16:36,412
Is what my dad would
say if he were alive.

331
00:16:36,490 --> 00:16:38,990
Marge, dear, at a time like this,

332
00:16:38,992 --> 00:16:41,768
all we want to do is
sit and hold your hand.

333
00:16:41,845 --> 00:16:44,229
No talk. Just love.

334
00:16:45,332 --> 00:16:47,590
I did want to say one thing:

335
00:16:47,667 --> 00:16:49,609
"Better get your booty
shorts to the cleaners

336
00:16:49,686 --> 00:16:52,094
"because you're gonna be
the most popular widow

337
00:16:52,172 --> 00:16:54,005
on the pickleball circuit."

338
00:16:54,007 --> 00:16:55,448
He's not dead!

339
00:16:55,525 --> 00:16:57,358
Well, we can't be sure...

340
00:16:57,435 --> 00:16:59,769
But we did use generative AI

341
00:16:59,846 --> 00:17:02,271
to make an image of Homer as a corpse.

342
00:17:02,349 --> 00:17:04,457
To get you used to the idea, dear.

343
00:17:08,021 --> 00:17:10,297
Some of these we had
even before the crash.

344
00:17:10,373 --> 00:17:12,524
He's not dead. He's not dead!

345
00:17:12,526 --> 00:17:15,468
In fact,
I bet he's even going to save the day.

346
00:17:16,576 --> 00:17:18,530
Can you excuse us?

347
00:17:18,548 --> 00:17:20,974
We need to go outside and laugh.

348
00:17:23,736 --> 00:17:25,219
Oh, is this it?

349
00:17:25,296 --> 00:17:27,038
My story ends now?

350
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:31,776
Buried in the snow, frozen alone
like broccoli in my freezer?

351
00:17:33,730 --> 00:17:37,549
My dear son, are you ready to join me?

352
00:17:37,551 --> 00:17:40,493
I am, Mommy. Take me to the good place.

353
00:17:40,570 --> 00:17:44,647
Um... That's not exactly where I am.

354
00:17:44,724 --> 00:17:47,559
They are very hard on
former left-wing radicals

355
00:17:47,561 --> 00:17:48,743
in the afterlife.

356
00:17:48,820 --> 00:17:50,078
What are you saying?

357
00:17:50,154 --> 00:17:53,398
I'm in a place with a
lot of incredible people.

358
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:56,676
Machiavelli, Che Guevara,

359
00:17:56,828 --> 00:17:58,828
Casanova.

360
00:17:58,905 --> 00:18:01,831
Casanova. Oh, Casanova.

361
00:18:01,908 --> 00:18:06,928
I thought dying in 1798 would
keep me from being MeToo'd.

362
00:18:07,004 --> 00:18:08,772
Um... Um...

363
00:18:12,299 --> 00:18:14,361
Mom? What are you making?

364
00:18:14,437 --> 00:18:17,513
All of your father's favorites.
For when he comes back.

365
00:18:17,591 --> 00:18:19,682
Pork chops, glazed ham,

366
00:18:19,759 --> 00:18:23,203
fried hooves, snout surprise.

367
00:18:23,279 --> 00:18:25,947
Oh, I can't be in the
same room with that smell.

368
00:18:26,099 --> 00:18:28,783
Yeah, it's pretty disgusting.

369
00:18:34,031 --> 00:18:35,364
Hey, someone's cooking.

370
00:18:35,442 --> 00:18:37,258
Marge is cooking!

371
00:18:38,128 --> 00:18:40,053
I can't die here.

372
00:18:40,130 --> 00:18:41,613
My family needs me.

373
00:18:41,615 --> 00:18:43,281
My story is still being written.

374
00:18:43,283 --> 00:18:47,209
And the next word in it is yeeargh!

375
00:18:50,290 --> 00:18:52,807
You're coming too, friends.

376
00:19:03,153 --> 00:19:05,970
Hidilly doodily, Saviorino!

377
00:19:06,598 --> 00:19:10,458
For once, Flanders, you owe me.

378
00:19:17,167 --> 00:19:20,501
Homer Simpson. Hmm, what can I say?

379
00:19:20,578 --> 00:19:24,097
He slept through Mass.
He'd floss with a Bible ribbon.

380
00:19:24,248 --> 00:19:28,083
I'm afraid he leaves behind no
good deed to remember him by.

381
00:19:28,103 --> 00:19:32,922
Just another fat pinball
slipping past God's flippers.

382
00:19:33,854 --> 00:19:36,000
Here's something the
church never heard of:

383
00:19:36,002 --> 00:19:38,686
A guy coming back from the dead!

384
00:19:39,652 --> 00:19:41,281
God bless him.

385
00:19:41,357 --> 00:19:44,117
My bald, beautiful boy.

386
00:19:44,194 --> 00:19:45,768
No good deeds, Reverend?

387
00:19:45,787 --> 00:19:48,179
I've got a new end for your eulogy:

388
00:19:48,181 --> 00:19:50,531
Thank God for Homer Simpson!

389
00:19:50,608 --> 00:19:53,960
That's my dad. Suck it, other dads.

390
00:19:55,446 --> 00:19:58,022
You miss two birthdays and a school play

391
00:19:58,024 --> 00:20:00,717
and suddenly you're the bad guy.

392
00:20:03,454 --> 00:20:05,305
I knew you'd make it back.

393
00:20:05,456 --> 00:20:08,958
I knew it. I knew it.

394
00:20:09,035 --> 00:20:12,294
You were wrong. You were wrong!

395
00:20:12,372 --> 00:20:14,647
And you were wrong, preacher man.

396
00:20:14,724 --> 00:20:16,483
Just premature.

397
00:20:16,559 --> 00:20:20,469
I knew he'd make it.
Since five seconds ago.

398
00:20:31,482 --> 00:20:34,650
Simpson,
I always knew you had it in you.

399
00:20:34,728 --> 00:20:37,670
That'll do, Flanders. That'll do.

400
00:20:38,496 --> 00:20:39,554
Aww.

401
00:20:51,669 --> 00:20:53,761
I'm alive! I'm alive! I'm alive!

402
00:20:53,838 --> 00:20:56,247
Well, you don't have
to make a meal out of it.

403
00:20:56,249 --> 00:20:57,673
Yi-yo-yu!

404
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:32,408
Shh.

405
00:21:35,344 --> 00:21:38,358
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com

