1
00:00:12,405 --> 00:00:13,405
It's today.

2
00:00:13,406 --> 00:00:14,573
It's today!

3
00:00:14,574 --> 00:00:15,741
What day is it?

4
00:00:15,742 --> 00:00:16,825
Saturday.

5
00:00:16,826 --> 00:00:18,078
It's today!

6
00:00:19,162 --> 00:00:20,789
Oh!

7
00:00:23,708 --> 00:00:25,751
Whoopee.

8
00:00:25,752 --> 00:00:28,295
Move over, Los Angeles and Philadelphia.

9
00:00:28,296 --> 00:00:29,922
It's Springfield's turn

10
00:00:29,923 --> 00:00:34,885
to have its drunken sports fans
climb streetlights and burn down the town.

11
00:00:34,886 --> 00:00:39,098
That's right. Finally, after years
of phantom fouls and butt fumbles,

12
00:00:39,099 --> 00:00:43,143
one of our beloved local sports teams,
the Pin Pals,

13
00:00:43,144 --> 00:00:45,229
have made it to the state championship.

14
00:00:45,230 --> 00:00:48,482
With Springfield's years of failure
at sports, the arts,

15
00:00:48,483 --> 00:00:51,110
and our disastrous
toddler boxing tournament,

16
00:00:51,111 --> 00:00:52,820
it's no exaggeration to say

17
00:00:52,821 --> 00:00:57,616
that our super bowlers
are garnering tremendous "pin-terest."

18
00:00:59,953 --> 00:01:01,329
Yeah!

19
00:01:03,665 --> 00:01:04,498
Yeah!

20
00:01:04,499 --> 00:01:07,127
Finally, strikes I can support.

21
00:01:08,211 --> 00:01:12,381
Mayor, you've been accused
of being a fair-weather fan for this team.

22
00:01:12,382 --> 00:01:16,260
Not true.
I am a dyed-in-the-wool fan of these...

23
00:01:16,261 --> 00:01:17,344
Bowlers.

24
00:01:17,345 --> 00:01:18,428
Bowlers?

25
00:01:18,429 --> 00:01:20,889
Really? People still do that?

26
00:01:20,890 --> 00:01:24,059
So you don't mind that they say
you're jumping on the bandwagon?

27
00:01:24,060 --> 00:01:28,021
Let me just say no one jumps later
or harder than I.

28
00:01:28,022 --> 00:01:30,315
To the "Pin Heads"...

29
00:01:30,316 --> 00:01:31,651
Pin Pals.

30
00:01:35,989 --> 00:01:40,659
And now, your heroes, the Pin Pals.

31
00:01:42,287 --> 00:01:43,829
How ya doin'?

32
00:01:43,830 --> 00:01:45,330
Marry me!

33
00:01:45,331 --> 00:01:47,166
Oh, yeah. Sure, sure.

34
00:01:47,167 --> 00:01:50,794
Anyhoo, I could never have made it
without my very good friends,

35
00:01:50,795 --> 00:01:53,046
Homer, Carl, Flanders,

36
00:01:53,047 --> 00:01:56,926
and that new guy from Portugal
whose name I forget.

37
00:02:00,346 --> 00:02:02,307
FOR THE GREATER GLORY OF ALL.

38
00:02:07,312 --> 00:02:09,313
Yeah, he don't speak
the good English or nothing,

39
00:02:09,314 --> 00:02:11,440
but he sure as hell can roll strikes.

40
00:02:11,441 --> 00:02:15,319
And he's got a very hot sister,
or girlfriend or mother.

41
00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:16,571
It's really hard to tell.

42
00:02:20,408 --> 00:02:23,619
All right, based on my experience,
that is not his mother.

43
00:02:23,620 --> 00:02:27,247
Ah, I just want to say
we aren't just doing this for us.

44
00:02:27,248 --> 00:02:31,001
It is going to mean the world
to this entire town!

45
00:02:31,002 --> 00:02:35,505
Excuse me, but I don't see
how the town possibly benefits from this.

46
00:02:35,506 --> 00:02:39,176
We'd be helped a lot more
by a traffic light on Elm Street.

47
00:02:39,177 --> 00:02:40,594
Boo!

48
00:02:40,595 --> 00:02:43,513
Smack him with his bone! Smack him good!

49
00:02:43,514 --> 00:02:45,432
Ah, my friends and neighbors...

50
00:02:45,433 --> 00:02:47,018
Reluctant neighbors.

51
00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:52,356
Ah. The... I'd just like us
to bow our heads and thank—

52
00:02:52,357 --> 00:02:54,983
Stupid Flanders
turns everything good into church.

53
00:02:54,984 --> 00:02:57,611
Just once, can you not mention God?

54
00:02:57,612 --> 00:03:02,032
All righty then, let me just say
way to go, big guy in the sky!

55
00:03:02,033 --> 00:03:05,369
And his son Jesus Christ. Amen.

56
00:03:05,370 --> 00:03:07,537
Jesus is God's rod.

57
00:03:08,748 --> 00:03:10,791
Jesus is God's rod.

58
00:03:10,792 --> 00:03:12,585
Blasphemy.

59
00:03:13,461 --> 00:03:18,048
And now, "O Captain, my Captain,"
Homer Simpson.

60
00:03:19,801 --> 00:03:25,264
There's one word that defines this team,
and that word isn't "can" or "might."

61
00:03:25,265 --> 00:03:27,933
That word is... Um...

62
00:03:27,934 --> 00:03:30,852
Wait a minute. Cards out of order.

63
00:03:30,853 --> 00:03:32,522
Can't read my own writing here.

64
00:03:33,147 --> 00:03:37,443
Oh. Okay. It's "will." Yes, we will!

65
00:03:39,404 --> 00:03:41,488
Let's go, Pin Pals!

66
00:03:41,489 --> 00:03:45,535
Win that title!

67
00:03:46,202 --> 00:03:50,373
Let's get pickles!

68
00:03:51,457 --> 00:03:52,749
All right, folks, break it up.

69
00:03:52,750 --> 00:03:54,919
Unless you're jerkin' a gherkin,
go on home.

70
00:03:58,006 --> 00:04:02,884
Oh, Homie, today was magnificent.

71
00:04:02,885 --> 00:04:05,178
I always thought bowling
was just an excuse

72
00:04:05,179 --> 00:04:08,056
to get away from the kids
and drink a lot of beer.

73
00:04:08,057 --> 00:04:10,559
What? No, never.

74
00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:11,643
What?

75
00:04:11,644 --> 00:04:14,313
But now it's made
the whole town proud of you,

76
00:04:14,314 --> 00:04:16,273
and I'm part of the town.

77
00:04:16,274 --> 00:04:18,942
So this comes from the heart. Ugh.

78
00:04:18,943 --> 00:04:20,986
I can't say it. I don't wanna say it.

79
00:04:20,987 --> 00:04:24,031
You can't make me say it.
And I won't say it or even think it!

80
00:04:24,032 --> 00:04:25,450
Oh. Thank you, Son.

81
00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:28,994
I love you all. Water my plants.

82
00:04:28,995 --> 00:04:30,787
You don't have any plants.

83
00:04:30,788 --> 00:04:32,040
Then we're good. Bye.

84
00:04:46,346 --> 00:04:47,846
Ah, ain't this the life?

85
00:04:47,847 --> 00:04:51,975
Whirlybirdin', full can of soda,
two bags of peanuts.

86
00:04:51,976 --> 00:04:53,393
I never known such luxury.

87
00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:55,562
I could die right now a happy man.

88
00:04:55,563 --> 00:04:57,439
This is your captain speaking.

89
00:04:57,440 --> 00:05:01,276
Please buckle up as we attempt
to clear the treacherous mountain peak.

90
00:05:03,905 --> 00:05:07,158
No worries,
every chopper in town takes this route.

91
00:05:15,083 --> 00:05:17,626
Overweight? How is that possible?

92
00:05:17,627 --> 00:05:21,630
"Pilot, five passengers,
five 14-pound balls."

93
00:05:21,631 --> 00:05:26,468
Uh, I wanted a little extra oomph,
so I actually brought a 16-pound ball.

94
00:05:26,469 --> 00:05:30,597
Me too. By which I mean
I brought two 16-pound balls.

95
00:05:30,598 --> 00:05:32,933
Anyone else wanna brag about their balls?

96
00:05:32,934 --> 00:05:34,226
I mean, seriously.

97
00:05:34,227 --> 00:05:38,815
Fausto bring this for good luck.

98
00:05:41,484 --> 00:05:44,152
I'm gonna have
to put her down on the mountain.

99
00:05:44,153 --> 00:05:46,114
Of all the times to be sober.

100
00:05:49,367 --> 00:05:51,452
This could be it.

101
00:05:53,538 --> 00:05:55,455
At least I can say goodbye.

102
00:05:55,456 --> 00:05:57,290
- Hello.
- Marge.

103
00:05:57,291 --> 00:06:00,502
We're not home now,
so please don't rob us.

104
00:06:00,503 --> 00:06:01,628
Leave a message.

105
00:06:01,629 --> 00:06:03,630
Listen, Marge.

106
00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:05,966
We've had our arguments,
we've had our things.

107
00:06:05,967 --> 00:06:09,386
But thank God I have the time
to tell you how I really feel.

108
00:06:09,387 --> 00:06:11,388
- Mailbox full.
- D'oh!

109
00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:24,569
Whee!

110
00:06:29,532 --> 00:06:32,033
As your captain, one thing is clear:

111
00:06:32,034 --> 00:06:33,702
we must get off this mountain.

112
00:06:33,703 --> 00:06:37,957
And I'm no expert on mountains,
but I say down is this way.

113
00:06:40,334 --> 00:06:41,586
D'oh!

114
00:06:45,465 --> 00:06:46,299
D'oh.

115
00:06:50,219 --> 00:06:51,511
What the...

116
00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:53,221
I wouldn't leave just yet, Homer.

117
00:06:53,222 --> 00:06:55,849
Our new friend there
still hasn't woken up.

118
00:06:55,850 --> 00:06:58,226
Oh, God. Spanish-what's-his-name.

119
00:06:58,227 --> 00:07:00,897
It's Portuguese-what's-his-name,
you idiot.

120
00:07:01,939 --> 00:07:03,899
Chief, is there any word?

121
00:07:03,900 --> 00:07:05,192
Afraid not.

122
00:07:05,193 --> 00:07:08,904
Apparently they knocked out
a cell phone tower on the way down.

123
00:07:08,905 --> 00:07:09,863
Wait, wait.

124
00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:12,783
Ah. Now we're getting somewhere. Yeah.

125
00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:17,162
Oh, thank God, man.
I was starting to lose all hope.

126
00:07:17,163 --> 00:07:20,916
Oh, you hungry cops
put my kids through college.

127
00:07:20,917 --> 00:07:22,000
Seven sisters.

128
00:07:22,001 --> 00:07:25,212
Not the women's colleges.
I have seven daughters.

129
00:07:25,213 --> 00:07:29,466
Gia, Mia, Pia, Bia, Zia, Iphigenia,

130
00:07:29,467 --> 00:07:32,303
and then Emily for some reason,
I don't know.

131
00:07:34,013 --> 00:07:36,223
Mmm. Still barely breathing.

132
00:07:36,224 --> 00:07:41,436
If the Lord could carry his cross,
I can carry this poor soul.

133
00:07:41,437 --> 00:07:43,313
Well, look at that.

134
00:07:43,314 --> 00:07:46,900
Flanders risking his own life
to save another.

135
00:07:46,901 --> 00:07:47,985
Wow.

136
00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:50,320
Homer, can you get my water bottle?

137
00:07:50,321 --> 00:07:51,656
No.

138
00:07:55,993 --> 00:07:58,328
A phone! Someone's got cell service.

139
00:07:58,329 --> 00:07:59,829
Hello, Moe speaking.

140
00:07:59,830 --> 00:08:03,250
Hi. I'm looking for a Mr. Simpson.
First name, Homer.

141
00:08:03,251 --> 00:08:04,793
Oh, I recognize that voice.

142
00:08:04,794 --> 00:08:06,795
You ever call me again, you little puke,

143
00:08:06,796 --> 00:08:10,257
I'm gonna cut you up,
use your intestines as violin strings

144
00:08:10,258 --> 00:08:11,967
and play Flight of the Bumblebee.

145
00:08:11,968 --> 00:08:14,427
I'm gonna go Rimsky-Korsakov on youse.

146
00:08:14,428 --> 00:08:16,763
I'm just trying to find my dad.

147
00:08:16,764 --> 00:08:19,474
Yeah, right.
Try looking in hell, hell boy.

148
00:08:19,475 --> 00:08:20,892
¡Ay, caramba!

149
00:08:20,893 --> 00:08:25,021
Moe, you idiot! You were
the only one with cellular service!

150
00:08:25,022 --> 00:08:26,856
What have I done?

151
00:08:26,857 --> 00:08:28,441
Oh, me and my anger issues!

152
00:08:28,442 --> 00:08:32,320
Dr. Rubenstein's gonna be so disappointed!

153
00:08:33,823 --> 00:08:35,448
Stupid avalanche.

154
00:08:41,914 --> 00:08:45,166
No connection. And it's almost night.

155
00:08:45,167 --> 00:08:48,295
I feel so much regret.

156
00:08:48,296 --> 00:08:52,090
I never got the chance
to tell my son I loved him.

157
00:08:52,091 --> 00:08:54,926
Never? You're 87 years old.

158
00:08:54,927 --> 00:08:57,095
Oh, it's on my to-do list.

159
00:08:57,096 --> 00:08:59,307
Take a look. See?

160
00:09:03,853 --> 00:09:06,730
Still no sign of the missing bowlers.

161
00:09:06,731 --> 00:09:08,481
And one thing I must say now,

162
00:09:08,482 --> 00:09:11,693
there is nothing a newscaster loves
better than missing people,

163
00:09:11,694 --> 00:09:16,448
be they on a mountain, in a submarine,
or preferably deep under rubble.

164
00:09:16,449 --> 00:09:17,782
Even if we know they're dead,

165
00:09:17,783 --> 00:09:21,828
we'll keep it quiet for a few days
just to keep the ratings up.

166
00:09:21,829 --> 00:09:25,791
And now tonight's lotto,
which no one ever wins.

167
00:09:27,376 --> 00:09:28,668
No!

168
00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:31,463
Why am I talking like this?

169
00:09:31,464 --> 00:09:35,551
I'm not falling,
just clinging to the edge.

170
00:09:36,510 --> 00:09:38,261
Oh, man, that was close.

171
00:09:38,262 --> 00:09:39,638
How deep is that thing anyway?

172
00:09:39,639 --> 00:09:41,849
Only one way to find out.

173
00:09:47,063 --> 00:09:50,357
Gentleman,
I fear we're starting to hallucinate.

174
00:09:50,358 --> 00:09:52,025
That's crazy talk.

175
00:09:52,026 --> 00:09:53,319
Barney, pick up the spare.

176
00:09:59,575 --> 00:10:00,575
Listen to me.

177
00:10:00,576 --> 00:10:02,869
Time to get your cuckoos
back in your clocks.

178
00:10:02,870 --> 00:10:04,996
We're approaching the point of no return.

179
00:10:04,997 --> 00:10:07,332
Flanders, how do I put this?

180
00:10:07,333 --> 00:10:09,209
I was thinking I might wanna...

181
00:10:09,210 --> 00:10:11,419
Oh, this is so embarrassing...

182
00:10:11,420 --> 00:10:12,337
Pray.

183
00:10:12,338 --> 00:10:15,924
There are no atheists in foxholes.

184
00:10:15,925 --> 00:10:18,218
Oh, yes. Foxes are very religious.

185
00:10:18,219 --> 00:10:19,302
I'd be praying

186
00:10:19,303 --> 00:10:22,347
if a bunch of guys in red vests on horses
were trying to kill me.

187
00:10:22,348 --> 00:10:24,100
Now, make with the "Our Father."

188
00:10:26,769 --> 00:10:29,145
Still no word on the Springfield team.

189
00:10:29,146 --> 00:10:32,775
Please observe an anticipatory
60-second moment of silence.

190
00:10:36,570 --> 00:10:37,780
Wasn't me!

191
00:10:39,490 --> 00:10:40,491
Strike.

192
00:10:42,326 --> 00:10:45,370
My friends,
if we just have faith in the good Lord

193
00:10:45,371 --> 00:10:48,833
who blew us to bits on the side
of the mountain, we'll be okay.

194
00:10:49,333 --> 00:10:51,502
Hey, Churchy Joe, tell that to my piggies.

195
00:10:52,002 --> 00:10:56,089
The word "frostbite" sounds so cutesy
when people get it at Buffalo Bills games,

196
00:10:56,090 --> 00:10:58,425
but when it happens to you...

197
00:10:58,426 --> 00:11:01,845
Well, I think things will be just fine.

198
00:11:01,846 --> 00:11:04,723
Really? And who made you "Optimist Prime"?

199
00:11:04,724 --> 00:11:08,226
I broke open my first aid kit.

200
00:11:09,145 --> 00:11:11,104
Anybody else holding out on anything?

201
00:11:11,105 --> 00:11:13,022
Like me with these two bags of peanuts,

202
00:11:13,023 --> 00:11:16,736
which I'm gonna eat right now
despite my peanut allergy.

203
00:11:21,532 --> 00:11:25,244
See this? This is the face of a survivor.

204
00:11:25,953 --> 00:11:28,455
Uh, Christmas decorations?

205
00:11:28,456 --> 00:11:30,290
Uh, in October?

206
00:11:30,291 --> 00:11:33,042
We've done everything we can
to help your father,

207
00:11:33,043 --> 00:11:37,631
so I thought this would help us
feel better.

208
00:11:39,467 --> 00:11:43,429
Bart, they say a kid is only as happy
as their saddest parent.

209
00:11:49,894 --> 00:11:52,979
Zoom in on the heartbroken family.
Zoom, I say.

210
00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:56,983
No, I can't. I didn't go
to journalism school to be a ghoul.

211
00:11:56,984 --> 00:11:59,027
I went because it was an easy major.

212
00:11:59,028 --> 00:12:02,823
Take your soul
and get the hell out of local news.

213
00:12:04,158 --> 00:12:06,367
Fausto not good.

214
00:12:06,368 --> 00:12:08,620
My friend, we will get you back,

215
00:12:08,621 --> 00:12:11,915
and then you and I will have
a grand old time.

216
00:12:11,916 --> 00:12:14,501
- I hear you silently agreeing.

217
00:12:14,502 --> 00:12:18,338
We'll go fishing and make s'mores
and we'll be best friends.

218
00:12:18,339 --> 00:12:22,634
You're a Catholic and I'm a Christian,
but we'll work through that. Oh.

219
00:12:22,635 --> 00:12:24,093
More silent agreement.

220
00:12:24,094 --> 00:12:27,681
Here, my friend, let me set you down
so we can talk about our great future.

221
00:12:28,682 --> 00:12:31,643
Save your breath, pal. He's dead.

222
00:12:31,644 --> 00:12:34,604
No. No, he's not dead. He's just resting.

223
00:12:34,605 --> 00:12:36,856
Oh, Lord, you can't be this cruel.

224
00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:37,941
Sorry, man.

225
00:12:37,942 --> 00:12:42,195
I knew he was a goner a while ago,
but I liked watching you carry him.

226
00:12:42,196 --> 00:12:43,738
We were gonna make s'mores.

227
00:12:43,739 --> 00:12:46,116
Now they'll just be "s'nothing."

228
00:12:46,659 --> 00:12:49,077
Poor Fausto. Poor Flanders.

229
00:12:49,078 --> 00:12:50,870
You really tried, man.

230
00:12:50,871 --> 00:12:52,539
Aw, I mean it.

231
00:12:52,540 --> 00:12:54,624
I'm not just hugging you
because you're warm,

232
00:12:54,625 --> 00:12:56,209
although that's a big part of it.

233
00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:57,627
You're a good man.

234
00:12:57,628 --> 00:12:59,587
Homer, I knew you had a heart.

235
00:12:59,588 --> 00:13:01,881
Just like the Cowardly Lion.

236
00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:05,385
He always had a heart.
What he lacked was courage.

237
00:13:05,386 --> 00:13:07,929
And the Scarecrow lacked straw, right?

238
00:13:07,930 --> 00:13:09,430
He was nothing but straw.

239
00:13:09,431 --> 00:13:13,142
Wow. I'm looking at everything
with new eyes,

240
00:13:13,143 --> 00:13:14,811
just like the Tin Man.

241
00:13:14,812 --> 00:13:16,397
That's not what the Tin Ma...

242
00:13:17,189 --> 00:13:18,607
Look, just give me another hug.

243
00:13:20,526 --> 00:13:23,236
All right, gentleman.
There's a subject we need to discuss.

244
00:13:23,237 --> 00:13:26,281
Now, we've waited long enough.
I'm just gonna say it.

245
00:13:26,282 --> 00:13:29,868
It is time that we resorted
to cannibalism. Mmm.

246
00:13:29,869 --> 00:13:32,120
What? No, absolutely not.

247
00:13:32,121 --> 00:13:34,080
I'm not saying we eat him.

248
00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:36,583
I'm saying we prepare him to be eaten.

249
00:13:36,584 --> 00:13:40,712
If he gets frozen, we'll just end up with
junk food, like his hair or his toenails.

250
00:13:40,713 --> 00:13:41,796
What?

251
00:13:41,797 --> 00:13:43,048
Stop, stop, stop.

252
00:13:45,551 --> 00:13:48,303
Just give me a wing. Come on.
You got two, come on.

253
00:13:48,304 --> 00:13:50,222
No eating people.

254
00:13:56,729 --> 00:14:01,274
If I eat these and don't share them,
it breaks every value I have.

255
00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:04,652
But just thinking about it
also means I've sinned.

256
00:14:04,653 --> 00:14:08,448
I must say, it's a lot easier to have
this debate with my mouth full of matzo.

257
00:14:08,449 --> 00:14:10,325
- Flanders?

258
00:14:10,326 --> 00:14:12,702
- Yes?
- It's so clear to me now.

259
00:14:12,703 --> 00:14:14,329
You're the better man, Ned.

260
00:14:14,330 --> 00:14:17,415
Oh, that's not true. You've got
the highest average on the team.

261
00:14:17,416 --> 00:14:19,042
I'm nothing compared to you.

262
00:14:19,043 --> 00:14:22,670
Have you noticed I haven't called you
Stupid Flanders once on this mountain?

263
00:14:22,671 --> 00:14:25,089
What do you want, a Nobel Peace Prize?

264
00:14:25,090 --> 00:14:28,009
Sorry, sorry. I really do appreciate it.

265
00:14:28,010 --> 00:14:31,763
Just that I've come to realize
I'm not a natural leader like you.

266
00:14:31,764 --> 00:14:34,641
The Lord has a time and a place
for everyone, my friend.

267
00:14:34,642 --> 00:14:37,852
Homer, if the high altitude
hasn't turned your brain to mulch,

268
00:14:37,853 --> 00:14:39,687
would you like to lead us in prayer?

269
00:14:39,688 --> 00:14:45,444
Heavenly Father, who art in truck stop.
Ping-pong. Rock. Zipper. Jambalaya.

270
00:14:48,447 --> 00:14:49,530
Now, don't worry,

271
00:14:49,531 --> 00:14:52,450
just 'cause one of us has a tickle
in his whistle doesn't mean...

272
00:14:57,456 --> 00:15:00,000
We're in the tenth frame, people.

273
00:15:00,793 --> 00:15:05,422
If you want me to eat youse later,
just say nothing.

274
00:15:17,267 --> 00:15:18,893
Chief. Any news?

275
00:15:18,894 --> 00:15:21,396
About what? Oh. Right. Um...

276
00:15:21,397 --> 00:15:25,149
Marge, with conditions
as bad as they are on that mountain,

277
00:15:25,150 --> 00:15:28,945
even if they somehow
did survive the crash, uh...

278
00:15:28,946 --> 00:15:31,155
Oh, how can I put this gently?

279
00:15:31,156 --> 00:15:34,659
What do you mean, "gently"?
You basically told me they're dead.

280
00:15:34,660 --> 00:15:37,245
Will you please leave my family be!

281
00:15:37,246 --> 00:15:39,872
Never easy being a cop.

282
00:15:39,873 --> 00:15:41,457
Then why did you become one?

283
00:15:41,458 --> 00:15:44,168
'Cause I look great in blue.
It goes with my eyes.

284
00:15:44,169 --> 00:15:45,670
Your eyes are black.

285
00:15:45,671 --> 00:15:47,255
Well, I've wasted my life.

286
00:15:49,341 --> 00:15:50,967
Patty and Selma?

287
00:15:50,968 --> 00:15:53,469
Oh. This day couldn't get any worse,

288
00:15:53,470 --> 00:15:55,847
is what my dad would say if he were alive.

289
00:15:55,848 --> 00:16:01,060
Marge, dear. At a time like this,
all we wanna do is sit and hold your hand.

290
00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:03,522
No talk, just love.

291
00:16:04,815 --> 00:16:06,858
I did wanna say one thing.

292
00:16:06,859 --> 00:16:09,152
Better get your booty shorts
to the cleaners

293
00:16:09,153 --> 00:16:13,281
because you're gonna be the most
popular widow on the pickleball circuit.

294
00:16:13,282 --> 00:16:14,824
He's not dead.

295
00:16:14,825 --> 00:16:16,868
Well, we can't be sure.

296
00:16:16,869 --> 00:16:21,622
But we did use generative AI
to make an image of Homer as a corpse.

297
00:16:21,623 --> 00:16:23,709
To get you used to the idea, dear.

298
00:16:27,337 --> 00:16:29,839
Some of these we had
even before the crash.

299
00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:32,008
He's not dead. He's not dead.

300
00:16:32,009 --> 00:16:35,011
In fact, I bet
he's even gonna save the day.

301
00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:38,014
Can you excuse us?

302
00:16:38,015 --> 00:16:40,349
We need to go outside and laugh.

303
00:16:43,187 --> 00:16:44,729
Oh. Is this it?

304
00:16:44,730 --> 00:16:47,899
My story ends now, buried in the snow,

305
00:16:47,900 --> 00:16:51,111
frozen alone like broccoli in my freezer?

306
00:16:53,322 --> 00:16:55,073
My dear Son.

307
00:16:55,074 --> 00:16:56,949
Are you ready to join me?

308
00:16:56,950 --> 00:16:59,869
I am, Mommy. Take me to the good place.

309
00:16:59,870 --> 00:17:04,040
Mmm...
That's not exactly where I am.

310
00:17:04,041 --> 00:17:08,461
They are very hard on former
left-wing radicals in the afterlife.

311
00:17:08,462 --> 00:17:09,629
What are you saying?

312
00:17:09,630 --> 00:17:12,882
I'm in a place
with a lot of incredible people.

313
00:17:12,883 --> 00:17:18,179
Machiavelli, Che Guevara, Casanova.

314
00:17:18,180 --> 00:17:21,307
Casanova. Oh, Casanova.

315
00:17:21,308 --> 00:17:25,896
I thought dying in 1798 would keep me
from being Me Tooed.

316
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:28,148
Um, um...

317
00:17:31,777 --> 00:17:33,861
Mom, what are you making?

318
00:17:33,862 --> 00:17:37,073
All of your father's favorites
for when he comes back.

319
00:17:37,074 --> 00:17:42,745
Pork chops, glazed ham, fried hooves,
snout surprise.

320
00:17:42,746 --> 00:17:45,414
Oh, I can't be in the same room
with that smell.

321
00:17:45,415 --> 00:17:48,168
Yeah, it's pretty disgusting.

322
00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:55,049
Hey, someone's cooking.

323
00:17:55,050 --> 00:17:56,301
Marge is cooking.

324
00:17:57,719 --> 00:17:59,012
I can't die here.

325
00:17:59,763 --> 00:18:01,055
My family needs me.

326
00:18:01,056 --> 00:18:06,520
My story is still being written,
and the next word in it is...

327
00:18:09,731 --> 00:18:11,859
You're coming too, friends.

328
00:18:22,703 --> 00:18:25,372
Hidilly doodily, saviorino.

329
00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:29,793
For once, Flanders, you owe me.

330
00:18:36,758 --> 00:18:38,759
Homer Simpson.

331
00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:40,219
What can I say?

332
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:44,015
He slept through mass,
he'd floss with a Bible ribbon,

333
00:18:44,016 --> 00:18:47,852
I'm afraid he leaves behind
no good deed to remember him by.

334
00:18:47,853 --> 00:18:52,691
Just another fat pinball
slipping past God's flippers.

335
00:18:53,317 --> 00:18:55,526
Here's something the church
never heard of:

336
00:18:55,527 --> 00:18:58,029
a guy coming back from the dead!

337
00:18:59,031 --> 00:19:00,865
God bless him.

338
00:19:00,866 --> 00:19:03,701
My bald, beautiful boy.

339
00:19:03,702 --> 00:19:07,705
No good deeds, Reverend?
I've got a new one for your eulogy.

340
00:19:07,706 --> 00:19:10,208
Thank God for Homer Simpson.

341
00:19:10,209 --> 00:19:11,876
That's my dad.

342
00:19:11,877 --> 00:19:13,462
Suck it, other dads.

343
00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:19,760
You miss two birthdays and a school play,
and suddenly you're the bad guy.

344
00:19:23,555 --> 00:19:26,350
I knew you'd make it back. I knew it.

345
00:19:26,850 --> 00:19:28,101
I knew it.

346
00:19:28,602 --> 00:19:31,729
You were wrong. You were wrong.

347
00:19:31,730 --> 00:19:34,106
And you were wrong, preacher man.

348
00:19:34,107 --> 00:19:36,025
Just premature.

349
00:19:36,026 --> 00:19:40,029
I knew he'd make it
since five seconds ago.

350
00:19:51,083 --> 00:19:54,377
Simpson, I always knew you had it in you.

351
00:19:54,378 --> 00:19:58,548
That'll do, Flanders. That'll do. Oh.

352
00:20:09,935 --> 00:20:12,979
I'm alive. I'm alive!

353
00:20:12,980 --> 00:20:15,106
Well, you don't have
to make a meal out of it.

354
00:20:50,142 --> 00:20:51,143
Shh.