1
00:00:00,604 --> 00:00:02,775
Something's, uh, missing.

2
00:00:02,842 --> 00:00:05,981
Wasn't there a grade from
the health inspector over there?

3
00:00:06,016 --> 00:00:07,618
Nah, it's always been that sign.

4
00:00:07,618 --> 00:00:10,658
Next year I hope
they give me a "U."

5
00:00:10,724 --> 00:00:11,726
I know what's missing.

6
00:00:11,793 --> 00:00:14,265
Did a woman named Diane
used to work at this bar,

7
00:00:14,299 --> 00:00:17,271
and now she's been replaced
by a woman named Rebecca?

8
00:00:17,304 --> 00:00:21,179
If a woman named Diane had
a lead role in a bar like this,

9
00:00:21,212 --> 00:00:22,781
why would she ever leave?

10
00:00:22,848 --> 00:00:24,251
That'd be career suicide.

11
00:00:24,285 --> 00:00:28,160
No, it's not some smart,
ambitious woman that's missing.

12
00:00:28,193 --> 00:00:31,600
In fact, it's
the complete opposite of that.

13
00:00:31,633 --> 00:00:32,668
Barney!

14
00:00:32,735 --> 00:00:34,003
No Barney? Wha...?

15
00:00:34,038 --> 00:00:36,209
When's the last time
he was here?

16
00:00:36,276 --> 00:00:38,246
- Oh, oh, God!

17
00:00:38,246 --> 00:00:39,882
He's been gone at least a week.

18
00:00:39,949 --> 00:00:41,152
Hi, guys.

19
00:00:41,186 --> 00:00:42,955
Beat it, string bean,
we're trying to figure out

20
00:00:43,023 --> 00:00:44,625
what happened
to our friend Barney.

21
00:00:44,658 --> 00:00:46,096
I'm Barney.

22
00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:47,231
Ta-da!

23
00:00:49,268 --> 00:00:50,905
And you ain't Barney.

24
00:00:50,938 --> 00:00:53,243
Barney Gumble is overweight,
boozed up,

25
00:00:53,310 --> 00:00:56,149
can't go two seconds
without unleashing a—

26
00:00:56,216 --> 00:00:58,253
Barney!

27
00:00:59,388 --> 00:01:00,758
Uh, wow, buddy.

28
00:01:00,791 --> 00:01:02,094
You really lost some weight.

29
00:01:02,161 --> 00:01:04,798
Yeah, I was feeling
kind of blah,

30
00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:08,240
so I went to the doctor,
and he ordered up some tests.

31
00:01:08,273 --> 00:01:09,575
Oh, my dear friend.

32
00:01:09,642 --> 00:01:11,146
Oh, this ain't good.

33
00:01:11,146 --> 00:01:13,116
No! Why does God take

34
00:01:13,183 --> 00:01:15,654
all the people
that drink themselves to death?

35
00:01:15,688 --> 00:01:16,923
It's not that bad.

36
00:01:16,956 --> 00:01:19,061
The tests just showed
that I have...

37
00:01:19,128 --> 00:01:20,698
"hyperglycemia."

38
00:01:20,698 --> 00:01:22,702
So, low blood sugar?

39
00:01:22,735 --> 00:01:26,007
Lenny, he said "hyper,"
not "hypo."

40
00:01:26,075 --> 00:01:28,079
Any idiot knows the difference,
idiot.

41
00:01:28,113 --> 00:01:30,084
So, Barn, you-you're not dying?

42
00:01:30,117 --> 00:01:33,290
Except in the same,
slow, horrible way we all are.

43
00:01:33,290 --> 00:01:35,460
Soon enough, my pretties.

44
00:01:36,829 --> 00:01:38,834
I'm fine.
They put me on this medicine

45
00:01:38,834 --> 00:01:41,273
that regulates my glucose.

46
00:01:41,306 --> 00:01:42,575
Othinquic.

47
00:01:42,575 --> 00:01:45,714
The weight loss is
just a side effect.

48
00:01:52,261 --> 00:01:55,400
Wow, a medicine
that actually makes you skinny?

49
00:01:55,434 --> 00:01:59,308
That's the best side effect
since Viagra was created for...

50
00:01:59,341 --> 00:02:01,012
What was Viagra created for?

51
00:02:01,045 --> 00:02:03,584
I think it was to help
comedy writers.

52
00:02:03,584 --> 00:02:04,852
Oh, yeah.

53
00:02:04,852 --> 00:02:05,954
- Yeah, you got that right.
- Those are always funny.

54
00:02:05,987 --> 00:02:07,558
Hey, let's celebrate.

55
00:02:07,591 --> 00:02:09,729
Uh, refresh my memory, uh,

56
00:02:09,729 --> 00:02:11,699
beer's your drink, right?

57
00:02:11,733 --> 00:02:13,971
No, thanks.
Another welcome side effect is,

58
00:02:14,004 --> 00:02:15,974
I no longer crave alcohol.

59
00:02:16,008 --> 00:02:19,349
One club soda with lime, please.

60
00:02:19,349 --> 00:02:21,052
Don't crave alcohol?

61
00:02:21,119 --> 00:02:23,323
I can't let this secret get out.

62
00:02:23,356 --> 00:02:24,592
What secret?

63
00:02:24,625 --> 00:02:26,129
Wonder weight-loss drug.

64
00:02:26,196 --> 00:02:27,431
Oh, hey, Lou?

65
00:02:27,464 --> 00:02:29,935
Want to hear the big news
I'm gonna tell everyone?

66
00:02:30,002 --> 00:02:32,207
Yeah, but, Chief, the bank
robbers are right over there.

67
00:02:32,274 --> 00:02:35,514
And they can stay there until I
tell you this interesting fact.

68
00:02:35,580 --> 00:02:36,983
It all started at Moe's.

69
00:02:37,017 --> 00:02:39,522
You know the place next
to the, uh, the music store?

70
00:02:39,555 --> 00:02:42,027
You mean the one the
bank robbers are holed up in.

71
00:02:42,027 --> 00:02:46,202
If you keep interrupting,
I'm just gonna talk slower.

72
00:02:52,181 --> 00:02:55,421
Thanks. I need to give
something to my son.

73
00:02:55,487 --> 00:02:56,890
A calming butterscotch?

74
00:02:56,923 --> 00:02:59,628
Never leave me alone.

75
00:02:59,662 --> 00:03:01,633
- Now leave me alone. Gah!

76
00:03:01,666 --> 00:03:03,370
Wow, Chief.

77
00:03:03,403 --> 00:03:05,074
That drug really works.

78
00:03:05,107 --> 00:03:06,776
Go ahead, Lou,
put your hand in there.

79
00:03:06,810 --> 00:03:08,913
- Hey, that's an order.
- I resign.

80
00:03:08,913 --> 00:03:10,617
Well, even so,
I got you for two weeks.

81
00:03:10,651 --> 00:03:11,619
Now stick it in.

82
00:03:11,653 --> 00:03:13,290
Yeah, r-right there, that's it.

83
00:03:13,323 --> 00:03:16,062
I mean, it has
really changed my life.

84
00:03:16,062 --> 00:03:18,033
Sarah and I are
making whoopee again.

85
00:03:18,066 --> 00:03:20,037
We're gonna have
more Ralphies soon.

86
00:03:20,070 --> 00:03:21,706
A big one, a girl one,

87
00:03:21,773 --> 00:03:23,977
one that even looks
more like Eddie.

88
00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:26,682
Must try this drug.

89
00:03:26,682 --> 00:03:29,255
Diet and exercise
do not work for me,

90
00:03:29,288 --> 00:03:30,590
as I do not do them.

91
00:03:30,657 --> 00:03:32,595
So does it come
in gummy or vape?

92
00:03:32,661 --> 00:03:33,963
It's in a convenient needle

93
00:03:33,997 --> 00:03:36,001
that you inject yourself with
once a week.

94
00:03:36,068 --> 00:03:38,206
But you need a prescription.

95
00:03:38,273 --> 00:03:39,675
To the doct-arr.

96
00:03:39,708 --> 00:03:42,381
Then the pharr... macy.

97
00:03:54,605 --> 00:03:57,077
I really don't think you need
to lose weight, sir.

98
00:03:57,110 --> 00:03:58,880
My target weight is
to fit inside

99
00:03:58,946 --> 00:04:00,550
a mailing tube by Christmas.

100
00:04:00,583 --> 00:04:02,054
Jab me.

101
00:04:06,696 --> 00:04:08,433
Excellent.

102
00:04:08,499 --> 00:04:10,770
For the first time since
the invention of the McNugget,

103
00:04:10,837 --> 00:04:13,043
America's waistbands
are shrinking.

104
00:04:13,109 --> 00:04:14,312
Because with this epidemic,

105
00:04:14,378 --> 00:04:16,616
people actually want
to get their shots.

106
00:04:16,683 --> 00:04:18,520
But is this new drug safe?

107
00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:21,893
Our answer: "Yes, of course,
what are you, crazy?"

108
00:04:21,959 --> 00:04:25,301
Won't surprise you after
this word from our sponsor.

109
00:04:26,569 --> 00:04:28,840
Do you suffer
from blood sugar issues?

110
00:04:28,874 --> 00:04:31,112
Or are you just
not bathing suit-ready

111
00:04:31,145 --> 00:04:33,516
and willing to claim
you have blood sugar issues?

112
00:04:33,549 --> 00:04:37,157
The new Danish drug Othinquic
might be for you.

113
00:04:39,862 --> 00:04:42,668
I'm a mirakelmedicin.

114
00:04:45,907 --> 00:04:49,248
We're going to be
best friends forever.

115
00:04:49,282 --> 00:04:52,188
Which is how long
you have to take me.

116
00:04:52,254 --> 00:04:53,857
Side effects
include lack of appetite,

117
00:04:53,890 --> 00:04:55,260
pancreatitis,
having to buy new pants,

118
00:04:55,293 --> 00:04:56,863
a brutally painful death,
and not being able

119
00:04:56,896 --> 00:04:58,400
to play Santa at Christmas.
Othinquic!

120
00:04:59,669 --> 00:05:02,908
Okay, I have to address
the elephant in the room,

121
00:05:02,941 --> 00:05:04,812
by which I mean Homer.

122
00:05:04,879 --> 00:05:06,949
How come you're not
on that stuff, dumbo?

123
00:05:07,017 --> 00:05:09,155
Because it makes you
stop eating.

124
00:05:09,188 --> 00:05:10,790
And eating is natural.

125
00:05:10,790 --> 00:05:12,495
Body positivity.

126
00:05:12,561 --> 00:05:15,433
Yes, I'm positive you look
like a talking beach ball.

127
00:05:15,467 --> 00:05:18,106
Listen, boy,
I would only go on medication

128
00:05:18,172 --> 00:05:19,909
if a doctor told me to.

129
00:05:19,942 --> 00:05:21,946
And I don't see doctors.

130
00:05:22,014 --> 00:05:24,084
Always telling me to do stuff.

131
00:05:24,151 --> 00:05:26,923
Hey, at least I'll never
lose you in a crowd.

132
00:05:26,956 --> 00:05:29,195
Bart, enough
with the fat-shaming.

133
00:05:29,228 --> 00:05:32,267
I love Dad however he looks,
and Mom does, too.

134
00:05:32,300 --> 00:05:33,503
Right, Mom?

135
00:05:33,536 --> 00:05:35,773
Um...

136
00:05:35,807 --> 00:05:37,544
Right, Marge?

137
00:05:37,578 --> 00:05:38,780
Hmm.

138
00:05:38,813 --> 00:05:40,651
Uh...

139
00:05:40,684 --> 00:05:42,922
Well, I support you, Dad.

140
00:05:42,955 --> 00:05:45,994
I'm proud of you
for not giving in to Big Pharma.

141
00:05:46,061 --> 00:05:49,469
The only thing I'm giving
into is big "parma."

142
00:05:49,535 --> 00:05:51,072
At Luigi's.

143
00:05:51,105 --> 00:05:53,075
- Woo-hoo! All right!
- Yay, Dad!

144
00:05:54,712 --> 00:05:57,050
Hmm. Mm-hmm.

145
00:06:00,190 --> 00:06:02,327
Mama, we got a reservation!

146
00:06:02,394 --> 00:06:03,697
I can't a-cook.

147
00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:06,000
I got-a the SoulCycle.

148
00:06:08,072 --> 00:06:09,542
What's wrong, Marge?

149
00:06:09,609 --> 00:06:13,082
Upset that you're going
to be the only woman in town

150
00:06:13,115 --> 00:06:15,554
stuck with an overweight hubby?

151
00:06:15,587 --> 00:06:17,825
What? No, of course not.

152
00:06:17,858 --> 00:06:19,361
Am I?

153
00:06:22,968 --> 00:06:25,274
- Ow!
- You love Homer, I get it.

154
00:06:25,274 --> 00:06:27,911
But obesity is
a major health risk.

155
00:06:27,978 --> 00:06:30,217
I should know, I'm in medicine.

156
00:06:30,250 --> 00:06:32,821
Actually, you are medicine.

157
00:06:32,855 --> 00:06:34,124
Good one, yeah.

158
00:06:34,158 --> 00:06:36,262
So maybe you do want him
to change.

159
00:06:36,295 --> 00:06:39,302
Wouldn't it be hotter
if he looked like this?

160
00:06:39,335 --> 00:06:40,904
Ooh.

161
00:06:40,971 --> 00:06:42,741
Something for both of you.

162
00:06:42,741 --> 00:06:45,313
A six-pack and a washboard.

163
00:06:46,683 --> 00:06:50,758
Or you could just let things go
as they are and...

164
00:06:54,731 --> 00:06:56,202
Yeah.

165
00:07:00,310 --> 00:07:02,014
Homer, Homer, wake up!

166
00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:03,482
I need you.

167
00:07:03,516 --> 00:07:04,752
For snuggling?

168
00:07:04,786 --> 00:07:06,289
Talking, talking.

169
00:07:06,322 --> 00:07:08,660
Oh, uh, that's just as good.

170
00:07:08,727 --> 00:07:09,728
Totally.

171
00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:11,198
Please continue.

172
00:07:11,265 --> 00:07:12,401
I've been thinking.

173
00:07:12,435 --> 00:07:14,905
Maybe you should try
to get down to...

174
00:07:14,905 --> 00:07:16,943
fun size again.

175
00:07:17,009 --> 00:07:19,148
But I thought you loved me
for who I am.

176
00:07:19,181 --> 00:07:21,285
I do, but I want you to see

177
00:07:21,318 --> 00:07:23,423
Lisa graduate from college.

178
00:07:23,456 --> 00:07:26,763
And see Bart get
a good deal on a used car.

179
00:07:26,796 --> 00:07:29,569
Please take the medicine.

180
00:07:29,635 --> 00:07:31,172
Okay, okay, I'll do it.

181
00:07:31,205 --> 00:07:32,941
Oh, thank you, thank you.

182
00:07:32,974 --> 00:07:35,681
Now it's snuggling time.

183
00:07:38,019 --> 00:07:40,490
I hate having eyes
that can't blink.

184
00:07:45,033 --> 00:07:47,204
Oh, I tried everything
to lose weight.

185
00:07:47,204 --> 00:07:50,043
I hired personal chefs,
consulted the best doctors,

186
00:07:50,077 --> 00:07:52,080
as well as Dr. Phil
and Dr. Oz.

187
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:54,985
I even bought
a weight loss company.

188
00:07:55,053 --> 00:07:56,956
You know, normal people stuff.

189
00:07:56,956 --> 00:07:58,927
But nothing worked

190
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:02,101
until I got on Othinquic.

191
00:08:02,101 --> 00:08:04,238
And now check this out.

192
00:08:04,238 --> 00:08:07,077
- I'm as thin as I was

193
00:08:07,110 --> 00:08:10,083
on the night my boyfriend
Steadfast proposed.

194
00:08:10,083 --> 00:08:12,320
But this is permanent...

195
00:08:12,354 --> 00:08:14,124
unless the drug stops working.

196
00:08:14,191 --> 00:08:16,195
Which you better hope
it doesn't,

197
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:19,201
because you're all going on it.

198
00:08:19,234 --> 00:08:20,937
Look under your seats!

199
00:08:24,612 --> 00:08:28,486
You get a waistline.
You get a waistline.

200
00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:30,724
Oh, I'm so generous
that it doesn't matter

201
00:08:30,757 --> 00:08:32,260
that I'm not humble.

202
00:08:32,294 --> 00:08:35,700
And remember,
only read books I like.

203
00:08:35,733 --> 00:08:37,437
That drug is a miracle.

204
00:08:37,504 --> 00:08:39,741
So when did you two go on it?

205
00:08:39,741 --> 00:08:41,512
Uh... we didn't.

206
00:08:41,545 --> 00:08:44,952
We lost this weight by exercise
and eating in moderation.

207
00:08:44,986 --> 00:08:46,355
Right, moderation.

208
00:08:46,388 --> 00:08:47,958
Also, we quit smoking.

209
00:08:47,992 --> 00:08:50,096
That helps people lose
weight, right?

210
00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:52,100
No, actually—

211
00:08:52,134 --> 00:08:54,739
Besides, our fiancés love it.

212
00:08:54,739 --> 00:08:56,007
- Eh?
Eh.

213
00:08:56,007 --> 00:08:57,178
Fiancés?

214
00:08:57,244 --> 00:08:58,713
You're getting married?

215
00:08:58,746 --> 00:09:00,416
Yep. To people from work.

216
00:09:00,416 --> 00:09:02,254
Never interested in them before.

217
00:09:02,287 --> 00:09:04,524
Because they were chubbos.

218
00:09:04,558 --> 00:09:06,629
And how did they lose weight?

219
00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:08,300
Eating in moderation.

220
00:09:08,300 --> 00:09:10,303
Well, even if they did
take that drug,

221
00:09:10,303 --> 00:09:12,474
I don't think
they need to be ashamed.

222
00:09:12,541 --> 00:09:15,980
Homer's seeing the doctor
about getting on it right now.

223
00:09:16,015 --> 00:09:18,152
Homer?
Huh, they better find a needle

224
00:09:18,152 --> 00:09:20,657
strong enough
to get through hippo hide.

225
00:09:20,690 --> 00:09:23,263
I'm sorry you don't have
a husband with the willpower

226
00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:26,269
to lose weight naturally,
like us.

227
00:09:26,302 --> 00:09:28,172
Yeah, by the way, Marge,

228
00:09:28,206 --> 00:09:30,910
can we each borrow $900 a month?

229
00:09:30,944 --> 00:09:32,147
It's for, um...

230
00:09:32,181 --> 00:09:33,883
uh... vegetables.

231
00:09:33,917 --> 00:09:35,319
And yoga pants.

232
00:09:35,353 --> 00:09:38,193
If we miss
one dose of yoga pants,

233
00:09:38,226 --> 00:09:40,664
we balloon right back up.

234
00:09:40,664 --> 00:09:41,799
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

235
00:09:44,204 --> 00:09:45,807
$900 a month?

236
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:47,177
Why is it so expensive?

237
00:09:47,210 --> 00:09:48,713
Health insurance
stopped covering it,

238
00:09:48,747 --> 00:09:50,283
and the pharmacies are
out of stock.

239
00:09:50,316 --> 00:09:52,887
Their first priority are
the people who need it the most.

240
00:09:52,921 --> 00:09:54,458
The people who are
actually sick?

241
00:09:54,458 --> 00:09:56,762
No, A-list Hollywood stars.

242
00:09:56,829 --> 00:09:59,034
It's their most difficult
time of the year.

243
00:09:59,068 --> 00:10:00,303
Awards season.

244
00:10:00,336 --> 00:10:01,906
So where did you get yours?

245
00:10:01,939 --> 00:10:03,209
Oh, oh, I'm not on it.

246
00:10:03,209 --> 00:10:04,845
I-I lost this weight naturally.

247
00:10:04,878 --> 00:10:08,586
As a doctor, I know the value
of diet and exercise.

248
00:10:08,619 --> 00:10:10,123
You've been a doctor
for 20 years.

249
00:10:10,190 --> 00:10:11,825
Why didn't you
lose weight before?

250
00:10:13,229 --> 00:10:14,798
Get out.

251
00:10:25,387 --> 00:10:27,091
Do you have Othinquic?

252
00:10:27,091 --> 00:10:29,661
No, just Sudafed, NyQuil,

253
00:10:29,728 --> 00:10:32,801
and one of the hardest things of
all to get out of a drugstore:

254
00:10:32,835 --> 00:10:34,238
razor blades.

255
00:10:37,844 --> 00:10:39,414
I've, uh, heard you're looking

256
00:10:39,481 --> 00:10:42,120
for a certain
weight-loss vaccine.

257
00:10:42,154 --> 00:10:43,256
You got cash?

258
00:10:43,289 --> 00:10:44,524
Does anyone anymore?

259
00:10:44,558 --> 00:10:46,529
Not to worry, we take the Venmo.

260
00:10:46,562 --> 00:10:48,967
And occasionally the Zelle.

261
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,504
But never the Cash App.

262
00:10:50,537 --> 00:10:53,175
They offer the Bitcoin
but not the Ethereum.

263
00:10:53,242 --> 00:10:55,613
How am I supposed to arbitrage
between the two?

264
00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:56,950
Forget about it!

265
00:10:56,983 --> 00:10:57,984
Hmm.

266
00:11:01,392 --> 00:11:04,498
Here you go.
Pure, uncut Othinquic.

267
00:11:04,532 --> 00:11:07,504
Guaranteed to reduce
the labonza.

268
00:11:07,537 --> 00:11:11,112
It's the anti-antipasto.

269
00:11:11,145 --> 00:11:12,547
Where did you get this?

270
00:11:12,547 --> 00:11:16,021
Let's just say
a truck lost a little weight

271
00:11:16,021 --> 00:11:18,659
passing through Springfield.

272
00:11:18,693 --> 00:11:20,430
Wait a minute,
I thought you don't get high

273
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:22,267
on your own supply.

274
00:11:22,301 --> 00:11:25,140
I personally lost this weight

275
00:11:25,173 --> 00:11:27,878
through diet and exercise.

276
00:11:27,911 --> 00:11:29,448
Even you lie about it?

277
00:11:29,515 --> 00:11:32,387
If you can't trust godfathers,
who can you trust?

278
00:11:32,420 --> 00:11:34,124
I don't cheat on diets.

279
00:11:34,158 --> 00:11:36,862
I would never cheat on anything,

280
00:11:36,896 --> 00:11:38,999
except my wife.

281
00:12:15,707 --> 00:12:18,179
What happened to these people?

282
00:12:18,212 --> 00:12:20,917
They look fabulous, right?

283
00:12:20,951 --> 00:12:22,086
They look sad.

284
00:12:22,086 --> 00:12:23,456
Maybe it's all that loose skin

285
00:12:23,489 --> 00:12:25,526
sagging from their faces.

286
00:12:25,593 --> 00:12:29,534
Hey, getting Othinquic face is
one of the few negative effects.

287
00:12:29,601 --> 00:12:33,008
And you can always fix that
with injections of body fat.

288
00:12:33,075 --> 00:12:35,546
Trust me, I'm a wonder drug.

289
00:12:35,613 --> 00:12:38,119
The more I see,
the more I wonder.

290
00:12:38,186 --> 00:12:39,321
Okay, boomer.

291
00:12:39,355 --> 00:12:41,825
Look, weight loss is healthy.

292
00:12:41,859 --> 00:12:43,195
No matter how.

293
00:12:43,229 --> 00:12:46,068
We've done a lot of research.

294
00:12:46,101 --> 00:12:47,271
On safety?

295
00:12:47,337 --> 00:12:48,373
On profits.

296
00:12:48,406 --> 00:12:51,479
The profits are 100% safe.

297
00:12:51,512 --> 00:12:54,084
And we'll find out the dangers
sooner or later.

298
00:12:54,118 --> 00:12:56,255
After everyone's already on it?

299
00:12:56,288 --> 00:12:58,993
Including my husband?

300
00:13:01,064 --> 00:13:04,504
Exactly. The most enormous
beta test of all time.

301
00:13:04,538 --> 00:13:07,044
And you lab rats are paying us
to be in it.

302
00:13:07,111 --> 00:13:09,214
Patetiske taber.

303
00:13:09,247 --> 00:13:11,753
Which means "suckers."

304
00:13:11,819 --> 00:13:13,889
Homer!

305
00:13:15,660 --> 00:13:18,633
Dad, are you sure
you want to do this?

306
00:13:18,666 --> 00:13:22,441
As sure as I was that I didn't
want to do it yesterday.

307
00:13:22,508 --> 00:13:25,580
In that case, I support you,
but just barely.

308
00:13:25,647 --> 00:13:27,784
That's what Dad's chair says.

309
00:13:27,851 --> 00:13:29,287
Oh, man.

310
00:13:29,321 --> 00:13:31,525
I'm gonna miss making fat jokes.

311
00:13:31,559 --> 00:13:33,429
You'll still have bald jokes.

312
00:13:33,463 --> 00:13:35,499
It's not the same.

313
00:13:36,402 --> 00:13:37,937
Goodbye, my love handles.

314
00:13:37,971 --> 00:13:40,043
You'll be in heaven
with my back fat,

315
00:13:40,076 --> 00:13:41,579
my triple chin, and my...

316
00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:43,516
finger chub.

317
00:13:43,550 --> 00:13:45,920
Stop, Homer! Stop!

318
00:13:45,987 --> 00:13:47,157
Huh?

319
00:13:47,157 --> 00:13:49,294
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

320
00:13:49,294 --> 00:13:50,463
You're throwing it out?

321
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:51,999
But you wanted me to take it.

322
00:13:52,033 --> 00:13:53,135
I was wrong.

323
00:13:53,169 --> 00:13:54,605
I know it's the hot new trend,

324
00:13:54,672 --> 00:13:57,210
but so were fanny packs,
tramp stamps,

325
00:13:57,276 --> 00:13:59,147
and Teslas.

326
00:14:00,116 --> 00:14:02,221
I usually cover this
with my fanny pack.

327
00:14:02,254 --> 00:14:05,093
But I thought you were worried
about us growing old together.

328
00:14:05,159 --> 00:14:06,862
Of course I want that.

329
00:14:06,862 --> 00:14:09,701
But what's even more important
is that you're here with us

330
00:14:09,734 --> 00:14:13,509
right now
and we can move on safely.

331
00:14:14,344 --> 00:14:15,580
Hey, what are you doing?

332
00:14:15,613 --> 00:14:18,820
Homer, as the only
overweight man left in town,

333
00:14:18,853 --> 00:14:22,060
you have something
that we desperately need.

334
00:14:22,060 --> 00:14:24,431
You're kidnapping my husband?

335
00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:26,335
Think of it as a side effect

336
00:14:26,335 --> 00:14:29,241
of not taking weight-loss drugs.

337
00:14:29,308 --> 00:14:30,576
Andiamo.

338
00:14:31,345 --> 00:14:32,614
No, no, no, no!

339
00:14:32,648 --> 00:14:34,585
He's too fat to fit in the car.

340
00:14:34,618 --> 00:14:36,321
Put him in the trunk.

341
00:14:36,355 --> 00:14:39,128
He's too fat
to fit in the trunk.

342
00:14:39,194 --> 00:14:40,863
Lash him to the roof.

343
00:14:40,897 --> 00:14:43,102
Uh, we're gonna need more rope.

344
00:14:52,254 --> 00:14:53,222
Ooh, pork chops.

345
00:14:53,256 --> 00:14:54,391
Aah, Fat Tony!

346
00:14:54,458 --> 00:14:55,994
Ooh, pork chops.

347
00:14:56,028 --> 00:14:58,632
We need your fat
to fill in our faces.

348
00:14:58,666 --> 00:15:01,606
So we can look eternally young
like the Real Housewives,

349
00:15:01,639 --> 00:15:03,142
who don't look real

350
00:15:03,175 --> 00:15:06,348
and spend all their time
outside of the house.

351
00:15:06,381 --> 00:15:08,419
Now eat. Mangia.

352
00:15:08,486 --> 00:15:11,258
What you said makes me
almost not want to eat.

353
00:15:11,258 --> 00:15:13,296
The police are gonna be furious.

354
00:15:13,362 --> 00:15:14,898
Actually, uh, no we're not.

355
00:15:14,965 --> 00:15:15,967
Come on, swallow.

356
00:15:16,035 --> 00:15:18,239
Can't wait to get
your ass in my face.

357
00:15:18,272 --> 00:15:19,908
You monster!

358
00:15:19,942 --> 00:15:21,779
Wait till the mayor
hears about this.

359
00:15:21,812 --> 00:15:23,482
Oh, believe me, I know.

360
00:15:23,516 --> 00:15:25,686
Slim Tony and I are in cahoots.

361
00:15:25,753 --> 00:15:28,425
The mayor in league
with the mob?

362
00:15:28,492 --> 00:15:30,029
I'm happy to reach
across the aisle,

363
00:15:30,062 --> 00:15:32,400
as long as it's not
with the members

364
00:15:32,433 --> 00:15:34,104
of another political party.

365
00:15:35,539 --> 00:15:37,443
Give me back my husband!

366
00:15:40,016 --> 00:15:41,652
Look who's here—

367
00:15:41,686 --> 00:15:44,658
Little Miss Thin without Having
to Take Drugs.

368
00:15:44,691 --> 00:15:46,662
Which none of us take.

369
00:15:47,798 --> 00:15:51,272
You're just jealous because
we're more beautiful than you.

370
00:15:54,244 --> 00:15:57,250
Now, out of the way,
because for the first time ever,

371
00:15:57,283 --> 00:15:59,521
we want your husband.

372
00:15:59,554 --> 00:16:02,026
Well, I'm taking
my husband back.

373
00:16:02,060 --> 00:16:03,562
You and what army?

374
00:16:03,562 --> 00:16:05,666
This-a army!

375
00:16:07,304 --> 00:16:09,541
We are the true victims
of Ozempic—

376
00:16:09,574 --> 00:16:11,678
I mean, eh, eh, Othinquic.

377
00:16:11,712 --> 00:16:14,684
The hard working a-people
who make-a your food.

378
00:16:14,718 --> 00:16:16,122
And who pour your damn drinks.

379
00:16:16,122 --> 00:16:19,060
You think you could operate
a beer tap by yourself?

380
00:16:19,060 --> 00:16:20,430
Yes, you could.

381
00:16:20,463 --> 00:16:22,868
So, uh,
where am I going with this?

382
00:16:22,868 --> 00:16:25,239
These-a drugs don't-a
just stop your eating.

383
00:16:25,273 --> 00:16:28,179
They stop-a
all of your compulsive behavior.

384
00:16:28,246 --> 00:16:31,152
And compulsive behavior
is-a the only reason

385
00:16:31,185 --> 00:16:32,821
anybody eats-a spaghetti.

386
00:16:32,854 --> 00:16:35,560
It's-a like worms
with less-a nutrients.

387
00:16:35,593 --> 00:16:36,829
Hypocrito.

388
00:16:36,862 --> 00:16:38,733
Criticizing us
when you're clearly

389
00:16:38,766 --> 00:16:40,736
riding the O-train yourself.

390
00:16:40,770 --> 00:16:43,442
I'm-a not-a taking the drugs.

391
00:16:43,475 --> 00:16:47,216
Yeah, we know:
"Diet and exercise."

392
00:16:47,216 --> 00:16:49,722
No! I lost-a weight legitimately

393
00:16:49,755 --> 00:16:51,525
from-a severe depression.

394
00:16:51,592 --> 00:16:53,796
You, you're-a ruining my life.

395
00:17:00,876 --> 00:17:03,382
Homer, they took your tuchus!

396
00:17:04,751 --> 00:17:06,388
You can't leave me like this.

397
00:17:06,455 --> 00:17:08,192
I'm like the Batman villain
Two-Face,

398
00:17:08,259 --> 00:17:11,065
beautiful on one side
and hideous on the other.

399
00:17:11,098 --> 00:17:12,133
Uh...

400
00:17:12,166 --> 00:17:14,137
Which is
the beautiful side again?

401
00:17:14,170 --> 00:17:17,643
Here's a thought: maybe you can
all stop taking the drug.

402
00:17:17,677 --> 00:17:19,380
If I knew the meaning
of the word "stop,"

403
00:17:19,380 --> 00:17:21,752
I would not be taking it. Der.

404
00:17:21,785 --> 00:17:23,255
Look at your faces.

405
00:17:23,255 --> 00:17:24,624
Mm...

406
00:17:24,657 --> 00:17:25,760
Let me try.

407
00:17:25,794 --> 00:17:28,499
I've had more experience
addressing mobs.

408
00:17:31,805 --> 00:17:34,377
I am the last fat man
in Springfield.

409
00:17:34,411 --> 00:17:36,148
And while I can't see my feet,

410
00:17:36,215 --> 00:17:38,386
I can see something else.

411
00:17:38,419 --> 00:17:41,192
You are all unhappy.

412
00:17:41,192 --> 00:17:43,930
- Love people for
what's inside...
- Mm-hmm.

413
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:46,701
lots of delicious food.

414
00:17:46,768 --> 00:17:49,441
And admire the ingenuity
of the American chemist,

415
00:17:49,474 --> 00:17:52,046
who has designed potato chips
that make you hungrier,

416
00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:53,850
sodas that makes you thirstier,

417
00:17:53,916 --> 00:17:57,090
all-you-can-eat restaurants that
make you never feel full again.

418
00:17:57,124 --> 00:18:00,796
We sit eating food,
watching TV about food,

419
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,533
with commercials

420
00:18:02,567 --> 00:18:04,204
for more food!

421
00:18:04,237 --> 00:18:07,410
Food-S-A! Food-S-A!

422
00:18:07,477 --> 00:18:11,218
Gol'darnit! Replace the word
"America" with the word "Texas,"

423
00:18:11,218 --> 00:18:13,823
and I agree
with everything you said.

424
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:17,664
I'm getting off this stuff.

425
00:18:17,697 --> 00:18:19,834
And back on statins,
antidepressants,

426
00:18:19,834 --> 00:18:22,440
mood elevators,
and useless vitamins.

427
00:18:23,843 --> 00:18:26,349
Is my old table available?

428
00:18:26,415 --> 00:18:28,252
Yes-a, yes and the gun

429
00:18:28,252 --> 00:18:30,623
is still-a
behind-a the toilet for you.

430
00:18:32,460 --> 00:18:34,297
Is a happy end.

431
00:18:38,606 --> 00:18:40,510
Patty and Selma
gained back the weight

432
00:18:40,576 --> 00:18:42,380
and lost the fiancés.

433
00:18:42,413 --> 00:18:45,819
They're doing a group sologamy
celebration instead.

434
00:18:45,853 --> 00:18:48,158
Salami celebration, what's that?

435
00:18:48,225 --> 00:18:50,696
It's when a person
marries themselves,

436
00:18:50,729 --> 00:18:53,202
but there'll be two of them
doing it together.

437
00:18:53,235 --> 00:18:54,704
But not to be together.

438
00:18:54,738 --> 00:18:56,509
Even though they live together.

439
00:18:56,575 --> 00:18:57,710
Good night, sweetheart.

440
00:18:57,743 --> 00:18:58,946
Mwah.

441
00:19:04,757 --> 00:19:06,995
So what are you going to wear?

442
00:19:07,030 --> 00:19:09,601
That strapless black dress,
right?

443
00:19:09,634 --> 00:19:11,772
Well, it's from
before I had kids.

444
00:19:11,772 --> 00:19:13,776
I doubt it still fits.

445
00:19:13,776 --> 00:19:16,448
The ceremony is still
a month away.

446
00:19:16,482 --> 00:19:19,855
And I'm exactly
a month's supply.

447
00:19:19,888 --> 00:19:23,495
After everything I've seen,
why should I trust you?

448
00:19:23,529 --> 00:19:25,132
It's just a month.

449
00:19:25,199 --> 00:19:26,601
One and done.

450
00:19:26,635 --> 00:19:29,974
Hmm, I would love
to wear that dress.

451
00:19:32,247 --> 00:19:33,916
Whoa, ooh.

452
00:19:33,916 --> 00:19:36,121
I feel a little nauseous.

453
00:19:36,922 --> 00:19:38,759
Why is everything black?

454
00:19:38,792 --> 00:19:40,096
Did I lose my vision?

455
00:19:40,162 --> 00:19:41,899
Blindness is
a side effect, but that's

456
00:19:41,932 --> 00:19:43,502
only three percent of cases.

457
00:19:46,475 --> 00:19:48,545
Captioning sponsored by
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458
00:19:48,579 --> 00:19:50,516
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459
00:19:50,550 --> 00:19:52,020
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460
00:19:52,053 --> 00:19:53,822
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