1 00:00:12,468 --> 00:00:16,012 Gotta look good today. I'm asking Amy to the prom. 2 00:00:17,765 --> 00:00:20,892 I meant school Amy, not you, Amy. 3 00:00:31,237 --> 00:00:32,737 Okay. Just act cool. 4 00:00:32,738 --> 00:00:34,698 Hey, Amy, you promming? 5 00:00:35,324 --> 00:00:39,244 Ohh! So, Amy, some of your hair got caught in your locker and I took it. 6 00:00:39,245 --> 00:00:40,620 No, no. God, no! 7 00:00:40,621 --> 00:00:43,164 Andrew, there's someone to see you! 8 00:00:46,085 --> 00:00:50,005 - You've been served, starter-stache. - What is this, Dad? 9 00:00:50,756 --> 00:00:54,676 That's a subpoena. You've been called as a surprise witness in court today. 10 00:00:54,677 --> 00:00:56,052 I can't go to court. 11 00:00:56,053 --> 00:01:00,682 I spent all my after-school job money on a skywriting prom-posal. 12 00:01:00,683 --> 00:01:03,142 Testifying in court is a matter of duty and honor. 13 00:01:03,143 --> 00:01:06,104 Besides, everyone knows Amy's going to the prom with Josh. 14 00:01:13,195 --> 00:01:17,407 Mr. Teen, isn't it true that while working as an employee of Builder's Barn, 15 00:01:17,408 --> 00:01:20,118 you rented a backhoe to this man, 16 00:01:20,119 --> 00:01:22,871 - Homer J. Simpson? - Yes. 17 00:01:22,872 --> 00:01:26,457 And what reason did Mr. Simpson give for renting the machine? 18 00:01:26,458 --> 00:01:29,711 To quote, "Dig a bitching swimming pool in his backyard, 19 00:01:29,712 --> 00:01:33,298 then throw an awesome pool party and not invite Flanders." 20 00:01:33,299 --> 00:01:35,341 But in the process of digging the pool, 21 00:01:35,342 --> 00:01:39,888 Mr. Simpson destroyed local gas, sewer, and power lines, 22 00:01:39,889 --> 00:01:45,019 causing rolling blackouts that affect Springfield to this... day. 23 00:01:48,814 --> 00:01:52,275 This man is so obviously incompetent 24 00:01:52,276 --> 00:01:54,861 that he never should have been allowed to rent a backhoe, 25 00:01:54,862 --> 00:01:59,824 and that is why Mr. Simpson is suing Builder's Barn. 26 00:01:59,825 --> 00:02:01,242 He's suing us? 27 00:02:01,243 --> 00:02:04,495 Your Honor, I'd like to take over the questioning, if I may. 28 00:02:04,496 --> 00:02:07,790 Mr. Simpson, only a fool has himself for a lawyer. 29 00:02:07,791 --> 00:02:09,877 That's exactly my point, sir. 30 00:02:12,254 --> 00:02:16,758 When Mr. Simpson, that is myself, rented the heavy machinery in question, 31 00:02:16,759 --> 00:02:22,181 isn't it true that my breath smelled strongly of beer, as it does now? 32 00:02:23,349 --> 00:02:25,725 I don't know what beer smells like. 33 00:02:25,726 --> 00:02:30,855 I was going to have my first one ever at the after-prom party. 34 00:02:30,856 --> 00:02:33,775 Homer can't even unfold a lawn chair. 35 00:02:33,776 --> 00:02:35,944 I don't think he understands doors. 36 00:02:35,945 --> 00:02:41,199 He's fat and lazy and carries diner jelly packs in his shirt pocket. 37 00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:43,076 That's irrelevant and prejudicial. 38 00:02:43,077 --> 00:02:44,161 Let her speak! 39 00:02:47,790 --> 00:02:49,290 Has the jury reached a verdict? 40 00:02:49,291 --> 00:02:51,459 Yes, we're very disappointed. 41 00:02:51,460 --> 00:02:56,506 This turned out to be a real trial and not a hidden camera comedy reality show. 42 00:02:56,507 --> 00:02:59,050 Also, we have no choice but to find for the plaintiff. 43 00:02:59,051 --> 00:03:00,885 - D'oh! - You're the plaintiff. 44 00:03:00,886 --> 00:03:02,595 - Woo-hoo! 45 00:03:02,596 --> 00:03:05,556 I've spent 25 years fighting for Lady Justice. 46 00:03:05,557 --> 00:03:08,434 Today I learned she's nothing but a painted tart, 47 00:03:08,435 --> 00:03:11,062 and I run the flophouse where she turns tricks. 48 00:03:11,063 --> 00:03:16,360 I award Mr. Simpson the minimum possible damages: $95. 49 00:03:16,944 --> 00:03:19,863 Yes! Come on, everybody, jury wave. 50 00:03:22,074 --> 00:03:24,034 No alternates! 51 00:03:29,039 --> 00:03:32,376 Kids, look what Daddy bought with his settlement money. 52 00:03:33,460 --> 00:03:35,586 Floaty noodles and pool balls? 53 00:03:35,587 --> 00:03:38,673 We don't have a pool, Homer. We have a hole. 54 00:03:38,674 --> 00:03:39,757 Which you can't fix 55 00:03:39,758 --> 00:03:44,137 because the judge banned you from renting any Class A excavating equipment. 56 00:03:44,138 --> 00:03:47,807 It's now on the permanent court record that I married a buffoon. 57 00:03:47,808 --> 00:03:50,059 It was stipulated by all parties. 58 00:03:50,060 --> 00:03:53,229 On the plus side, Homer now has an entry on Wiccapedia. 59 00:03:53,230 --> 00:03:56,399 "Homer J. Simpson is the first American citizen, 60 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:58,901 to become a court-certified idiot"! 61 00:03:58,902 --> 00:04:00,236 Oh... 62 00:04:00,237 --> 00:04:05,241 Wow, and it's not just a stub. The admin really put some time into it. 63 00:04:05,242 --> 00:04:08,453 Is this what you want your legacy on this planet to be? 64 00:04:08,454 --> 00:04:10,872 It's not just this. I got other stuff. 65 00:04:10,873 --> 00:04:13,541 Like, I fell into wet cement in front of the church 66 00:04:13,542 --> 00:04:16,002 and left a very recognizable ass print. 67 00:04:16,003 --> 00:04:17,545 - Mind the print. - Ah! 68 00:04:17,546 --> 00:04:20,423 - Mind the ass print. It's a big one. - Oh! 69 00:04:20,424 --> 00:04:24,052 And, uh, well, uh, there's... ooh, I know. 70 00:04:24,053 --> 00:04:25,845 My legacy can be Lisa. 71 00:04:25,846 --> 00:04:27,597 She's my legacy. 72 00:04:27,598 --> 00:04:32,185 Oh, I called dibs on Lisa in the delivery room. I saw her first. 73 00:04:35,439 --> 00:04:37,274 Legacy. 74 00:04:39,276 --> 00:04:41,361 Who are you? Where am I? 75 00:04:41,362 --> 00:04:43,404 We're in the wonderful future, 76 00:04:43,405 --> 00:04:47,116 and I'm your guide, travel host and author, Rick Steves. 77 00:04:47,117 --> 00:04:50,661 Every Sunday night, Lisa puts me on TV, and you fall asleep. 78 00:04:50,662 --> 00:04:52,706 That's why you're sleeping right now. 79 00:04:54,625 --> 00:04:58,169 There's no better place for a perfect gratin dauphinois 80 00:04:58,170 --> 00:05:00,463 than on a train to Montrachet. 81 00:05:00,464 --> 00:05:02,882 Someday, Rick. Someday. 82 00:05:02,883 --> 00:05:06,010 These statues honor the legacies of the many people 83 00:05:06,011 --> 00:05:08,389 who made a difference in Springfield. 84 00:05:15,521 --> 00:05:16,647 Sleep sleeping? 85 00:05:17,314 --> 00:05:19,774 Legacy! Where's my statue? 86 00:05:19,775 --> 00:05:21,192 You don't have one, 87 00:05:21,193 --> 00:05:24,904 because you've never done anything worth remembering. 88 00:05:24,905 --> 00:05:27,407 I bet Lenny doesn't have a legacy statue. 89 00:05:27,408 --> 00:05:29,243 Look what we're standing on right now. 90 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:32,203 D'oh! 91 00:05:32,204 --> 00:05:35,248 Lenny invented invisible suspenders. 92 00:05:35,249 --> 00:05:37,667 - Guess what's holding up my pants? 93 00:05:37,668 --> 00:05:41,712 The point is they're all remembered, and you aren't. 94 00:05:41,713 --> 00:05:45,675 Now let me ask you something else. Have you donated to PBS this year? 95 00:05:45,676 --> 00:05:47,428 Never! 96 00:05:49,847 --> 00:05:52,223 Dumb. Stupid. Dumb. 97 00:05:52,224 --> 00:05:54,016 Abe, can you talk to him? 98 00:05:54,017 --> 00:05:56,519 He's been at the bottom of that hole for hours. 99 00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:59,021 I've been feeding him like a dolphin. 100 00:06:05,112 --> 00:06:08,449 So what's got you sitting in a hole this time, Son? 101 00:06:09,032 --> 00:06:10,533 No legacy. 102 00:06:10,534 --> 00:06:13,035 The nearest the Simpsons ever came to a legacy 103 00:06:13,036 --> 00:06:16,664 was when my uncle had a soup named after him at the chowder hall. 104 00:06:16,665 --> 00:06:19,709 A lot of people got sick from Stan's soup, 105 00:06:19,710 --> 00:06:23,379 so stop your ninny-whimpling and get out of this hole. 106 00:06:23,380 --> 00:06:25,298 Hey, you ruined my roundsie. 107 00:06:25,299 --> 00:06:26,966 I ruin-sied your round-what? 108 00:06:26,967 --> 00:06:30,471 When the ball goes all the way round the walls, I call it a "roundsie." 109 00:06:32,473 --> 00:06:34,056 See? Roundsie. 110 00:06:34,057 --> 00:06:36,642 That's the dumbest thing I've ever seen! 111 00:06:36,643 --> 00:06:38,228 Let me try. 112 00:06:42,483 --> 00:06:44,567 - Ooh! 113 00:06:44,568 --> 00:06:45,985 Whoa! 114 00:06:50,991 --> 00:06:54,493 Son, I never played catch with you or tossed you a football, 115 00:06:54,494 --> 00:06:56,537 or taught you how to ride a bike. 116 00:06:56,538 --> 00:06:58,080 I hate you, you monster! 117 00:06:58,081 --> 00:07:00,082 But now we have this. 118 00:07:00,083 --> 00:07:02,794 Yeah, you're all right. 119 00:07:03,378 --> 00:07:06,923 Noodles, balls? What do you call this wonderful game? 120 00:07:06,924 --> 00:07:10,092 I don't know, but it's gonna be something really clever. 121 00:07:10,093 --> 00:07:12,345 We call it "Noodleball." 122 00:07:12,346 --> 00:07:16,265 It's exercise without movement. It's safe for your brittle bones. 123 00:07:16,266 --> 00:07:20,102 And you don't have to face the thing all us seniors fear about pools, 124 00:07:20,103 --> 00:07:23,189 trying to peel off a wet bathing suit. 125 00:07:23,190 --> 00:07:25,274 - I'll try that. - Give me one of those noodles. 126 00:07:25,275 --> 00:07:27,110 By golly, I'm going in the pool. 127 00:07:30,697 --> 00:07:34,867 Dad, maybe Noodleball is what will make the Simpson name live forever. 128 00:07:34,868 --> 00:07:38,287 A legacy that we created together. 129 00:07:38,288 --> 00:07:40,290 I'll jelly to that. 130 00:07:46,922 --> 00:07:48,798 Springfield's golden agers 131 00:07:48,799 --> 00:07:53,344 are lining up to go six feet under in empty swimming pools. 132 00:07:53,345 --> 00:07:56,347 So, how does this piscine pastime work? 133 00:07:56,348 --> 00:07:59,600 If you hit the ball past your opponents and it bounces back to you, 134 00:07:59,601 --> 00:08:01,727 that's a roundsie, one point. 135 00:08:01,728 --> 00:08:03,771 Your opponents are trying to block the roundsie 136 00:08:03,772 --> 00:08:06,023 and hit it back to score their own point. 137 00:08:06,024 --> 00:08:08,985 Play until three balls get knocked out of the pool, 138 00:08:08,986 --> 00:08:11,237 and then everyone can check their phone for ten minutes. 139 00:08:11,238 --> 00:08:13,239 So dive on into Noodleball 140 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:17,702 and drown the dog days of summer in the deep end of fun. 141 00:08:17,703 --> 00:08:22,916 Speaking of dogs, let's meet the spaniel who's predicted every Super Bowl wrong. 142 00:08:31,591 --> 00:08:33,926 - A perfect roundsie! 143 00:08:33,927 --> 00:08:35,261 We win again! 144 00:08:35,262 --> 00:08:40,099 Since you've been playing Noodleball, your weight gain has plateaued! 145 00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:44,854 If you keep this up, you can not gain 50 pounds. 146 00:08:44,855 --> 00:08:47,523 Dad, look what just came up on Wiccapedia. 147 00:08:47,524 --> 00:08:49,108 Hmm! 148 00:08:49,109 --> 00:08:52,862 The world is noticing the Simpsons, in a good way. 149 00:08:52,863 --> 00:08:57,033 Look at these seniors, playing like there is a tomorrow. 150 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:24,226 Dad, Grampa, we have a problem at the south pool. 151 00:09:24,227 --> 00:09:27,772 Oh, another old person three-way? Just hose 'em out of there. 152 00:09:27,773 --> 00:09:28,856 Worse! 153 00:09:28,857 --> 00:09:33,194 Out of the pool, noodleheads. It's summer, and the kids wanna swim. 154 00:09:33,195 --> 00:09:36,698 Go jump in the lake, water baby. You're in Noodleball country. 155 00:09:37,282 --> 00:09:40,201 Even the very tall need a place to swim. 156 00:09:40,202 --> 00:09:43,371 And our children need to cool off in the hot summer. 157 00:09:43,372 --> 00:09:46,875 Won't everyone please not think about the children? 158 00:09:53,465 --> 00:09:56,259 Don't worry. There's other pools in this town. 159 00:10:01,098 --> 00:10:02,848 Hey, we were here first. 160 00:10:02,849 --> 00:10:04,643 Talk to the tag. 161 00:10:06,353 --> 00:10:07,771 Vape 'em out. 162 00:10:08,355 --> 00:10:12,109 It's cotton candy bubble gum. Don't breathe it in. 163 00:10:17,572 --> 00:10:19,573 We're losing pools all over town. 164 00:10:19,574 --> 00:10:22,201 What if we try to take over some pickleball courts? 165 00:10:22,202 --> 00:10:24,620 No, those Wiffle ball whackers are psycho. 166 00:10:24,621 --> 00:10:27,498 They killed tennis without even breaking a sweat. 167 00:10:27,499 --> 00:10:31,877 Dad, there's a new section on your Wiccapedia page. "Controversies." 168 00:10:31,878 --> 00:10:34,797 - There's a petition to ban Noodleball, 169 00:10:34,798 --> 00:10:37,717 which has antagonized swimmers, scuba practicers, 170 00:10:37,718 --> 00:10:39,719 and frat house cannonballers. 171 00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:41,846 Oh, that's all the thought leaders. 172 00:10:41,847 --> 00:10:46,392 We can't let Noodleball end up a failed sport like racquetball or soccer. 173 00:10:46,393 --> 00:10:50,271 Our father-son legacy is in danger. We gotta do something. 174 00:10:50,272 --> 00:10:52,565 Think! Think! 175 00:10:52,566 --> 00:10:54,024 Hit harder. 176 00:10:54,025 --> 00:10:57,486 Homer, Abe, there's someone here who wants to see you. 177 00:10:57,487 --> 00:11:00,448 I let him in because he's wearing a suit. 178 00:11:00,449 --> 00:11:02,324 Gentlemen, I'm Gabriel Razelton. 179 00:11:02,325 --> 00:11:05,703 People call me The Raz, but you shouldn't because I hate it. 180 00:11:05,704 --> 00:11:07,621 I represent a consortium of companies 181 00:11:07,622 --> 00:11:11,292 that can help Noodleball not only survive but thrive. 182 00:11:11,293 --> 00:11:13,210 What consortium? 183 00:11:13,211 --> 00:11:16,797 I can tell you, or I can show you. 184 00:11:16,798 --> 00:11:18,883 Uh... give us a minute. 185 00:11:18,884 --> 00:11:22,303 - What do you think? I'm all for show. - No, I think we should do tell. 186 00:11:22,304 --> 00:11:25,014 - Let him show it, and if we like it... - No, I prefer telling. 187 00:11:25,015 --> 00:11:26,974 - All right, all right. - So let's go with that one. 188 00:11:26,975 --> 00:11:28,976 Okay, we want you to tell us. 189 00:11:28,977 --> 00:11:31,771 No, you idiot, we decided show! 190 00:11:31,772 --> 00:11:33,981 Just give us one more huddle. 191 00:11:33,982 --> 00:11:36,485 Show! It was always show! 192 00:11:37,152 --> 00:11:40,738 The avocado, or as some call it, the alligator pear. 193 00:11:40,739 --> 00:11:44,785 Simple, natural, a little nutty, just like Noodleball. 194 00:11:45,994 --> 00:11:47,995 Aveecado? Never heard of it. 195 00:11:47,996 --> 00:11:50,749 The only green thing I eat is Marge's Mountain Dew pudding. 196 00:11:51,416 --> 00:11:55,545 Um... Oh. That glop's easy on the gums. 197 00:11:56,213 --> 00:12:00,007 It is pretty creamy. Are you sure it isn't lard? 198 00:12:00,008 --> 00:12:01,425 Absolutely. 199 00:12:01,426 --> 00:12:04,678 You can see why we at the Organic Pit-based Enjoyment Council 200 00:12:04,679 --> 00:12:07,932 think that avocados are the perfect sponsor for Noodleball. 201 00:12:07,933 --> 00:12:09,683 Can you get us our pools back? 202 00:12:09,684 --> 00:12:11,478 Oh, I can do better than that. 203 00:12:15,607 --> 00:12:18,859 I give you the future of Noodleball. 204 00:12:18,860 --> 00:12:21,487 This is the Avo-1 Noodleplex, 205 00:12:21,488 --> 00:12:25,366 featuring eight state-of-the-art, empty, never-swum-in pools. 206 00:12:25,367 --> 00:12:26,951 Now, I hope you don't mind, 207 00:12:26,952 --> 00:12:29,788 but we've put a statue of you and Grampa right at the entrance. 208 00:12:30,539 --> 00:12:35,209 We'll be remembered forever, like that dude in the Lincoln Memorial. 209 00:12:35,210 --> 00:12:38,420 We've got plans for all kinds of avocado tie-ins. 210 00:12:38,421 --> 00:12:41,006 Oils, face masks, hair conditioners. 211 00:12:41,007 --> 00:12:44,885 Big A isn't just guac and chips. 212 00:12:44,886 --> 00:12:48,597 Is this guy always so funny? 213 00:12:50,433 --> 00:12:52,269 I don't know. 214 00:12:53,854 --> 00:12:59,192 So, can we make this deal happen and raise an avocado toast? 215 00:12:59,860 --> 00:13:04,446 Son, we've created a sport that will live forever. 216 00:13:04,447 --> 00:13:07,241 Now, Grampa, we've got a PR guy just down the hall 217 00:13:07,242 --> 00:13:09,368 who wants to hear the story of your life. 218 00:13:09,369 --> 00:13:12,204 - Mmm. 219 00:13:12,205 --> 00:13:15,291 When I was a boy, you kissed any horse that walked by, 220 00:13:15,292 --> 00:13:18,128 and that's how I acquired my taste for hay. 221 00:13:18,795 --> 00:13:20,880 Homer, I've always been honest with you, right? 222 00:13:20,881 --> 00:13:22,214 Right. 223 00:13:22,215 --> 00:13:25,134 Wrong. I lied when I said Noodleball was for everyone. 224 00:13:25,135 --> 00:13:26,427 No one's going to pay to watch 225 00:13:26,428 --> 00:13:29,513 ancient athletes break their hips and have heart attacks. 226 00:13:29,514 --> 00:13:32,892 Our vision of Noodleball is for a younger demographic. 227 00:13:32,893 --> 00:13:36,145 You want to make Noodleball only for twentysomethings? 228 00:13:36,146 --> 00:13:37,980 Oh, God, no. They don't have any money! 229 00:13:37,981 --> 00:13:43,235 I'm talking 40- to 60-year-olds, the last generation that can afford houses. 230 00:13:43,236 --> 00:13:45,571 We have to scrub out every trace 231 00:13:45,572 --> 00:13:48,324 of your father and his gang of shuffling catheters, 232 00:13:48,325 --> 00:13:51,745 or Noodleball's future is blacker than a recently opened avocado. 233 00:13:53,830 --> 00:13:58,167 I can't dump Grampa. He's my father. We're like brothers. 234 00:13:58,168 --> 00:13:59,919 Ohh! 235 00:14:01,755 --> 00:14:05,841 I'm sorry, but my dad and I created Noodleball together. 236 00:14:05,842 --> 00:14:08,218 You're a man of rare integrity, 237 00:14:08,219 --> 00:14:10,930 - but I accept your decision. - I'll do it! The old man's out. 238 00:14:15,769 --> 00:14:20,356 Homer, Marge, welcome to the first Noodleball celebrity tournament. 239 00:14:20,357 --> 00:14:21,774 Pretty fantastic, huh? 240 00:14:21,775 --> 00:14:24,068 It's a very impressive tent. 241 00:14:24,069 --> 00:14:26,362 Whoever ironed it knew what they were doing. 242 00:14:26,363 --> 00:14:28,030 Avocado oil Bellini? 243 00:14:28,031 --> 00:14:29,531 Get that crap out of my face! 244 00:14:29,532 --> 00:14:33,035 Now come. I want you to meet some of the amazing youth-adjacent athletes 245 00:14:33,036 --> 00:14:34,119 who are competing today. 246 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:35,329 Blake Griffin. 247 00:14:35,330 --> 00:14:37,706 Noodleball is the perfect game for retired players 248 00:14:37,707 --> 00:14:40,834 whose bodies have been permanently destroyed by the sport they love, 249 00:14:40,835 --> 00:14:42,629 which is all of us. 250 00:14:44,005 --> 00:14:45,964 Ow! My spinning finger. 251 00:14:45,965 --> 00:14:49,511 It was supposed to be fixed after my third Meadowlark Lemon surgery. 252 00:14:50,011 --> 00:14:53,347 Homer Simpson, of course you know Megan Rapinoe. 253 00:14:53,348 --> 00:14:55,432 I bet Lisa knows who you are. 254 00:14:55,433 --> 00:14:58,268 Lisa Simpson? I love her Substack. 255 00:14:58,269 --> 00:15:01,522 If you're her dad, this explains so much. 256 00:15:01,523 --> 00:15:04,149 Thank you, Megan Rapinoe. 257 00:15:04,150 --> 00:15:08,196 Our targeted marketing to forty- and fifty-somethings is really paying off. 258 00:15:09,114 --> 00:15:13,201 My whole life I've worshiped the false god of tucking in. 259 00:15:14,369 --> 00:15:19,124 Step-in shoes! Ah. I'll never lower my arms below my knees again. 260 00:15:20,583 --> 00:15:22,751 This is so amazing. 261 00:15:22,752 --> 00:15:27,423 I just feel bad that Grampa and the other old folks can't be a part of all this. 262 00:15:27,424 --> 00:15:30,342 Yeah, that's kind of a sensitive subject. 263 00:15:30,343 --> 00:15:32,094 You did tell him, right? 264 00:15:32,095 --> 00:15:37,182 You know, hard conversations like this, it's all about picking the right moment. 265 00:15:37,183 --> 00:15:39,184 - Oh, Homer. - Darling. 266 00:15:39,185 --> 00:15:41,103 - Homer! - My beloved. 267 00:15:41,104 --> 00:15:43,522 Are you waiting for your father to die 268 00:15:43,523 --> 00:15:46,693 so you won't have to tell him you totally screwed him over? 269 00:15:47,527 --> 00:15:49,361 - Little bit. - Oh! 270 00:15:49,362 --> 00:15:53,031 That alligator pear-pushing parasite gave me the heave-ho. 271 00:15:53,032 --> 00:15:56,535 Doesn't he know we're a team? We invented this together. 272 00:15:56,536 --> 00:15:58,871 Oh, great. Now your memory's good. 273 00:15:58,872 --> 00:16:03,125 This was the only way to save Noodleball. At least one of us can have a legacy. 274 00:16:03,126 --> 00:16:05,669 And you betrayed me for that? 275 00:16:05,670 --> 00:16:09,132 Guess what? Legacy don't mean squat! 276 00:16:12,594 --> 00:16:14,970 Squat? Justify yourself! 277 00:16:14,971 --> 00:16:17,139 Who cares what people think after you're gone? 278 00:16:17,140 --> 00:16:20,809 You ain't there to get the credit, if they remember you at all. 279 00:16:20,810 --> 00:16:23,979 - Do you know who Johnny Carson was? - Nope. 280 00:16:23,980 --> 00:16:25,981 - David Letterman? - Nuh-uh. 281 00:16:25,982 --> 00:16:27,232 Jimmy Fallon? 282 00:16:27,233 --> 00:16:28,859 Now you're just making up names. 283 00:16:28,860 --> 00:16:34,490 Don't you see? You sold me out for a few extra words in your obituary. 284 00:16:34,491 --> 00:16:35,657 What's an obituary? 285 00:16:35,658 --> 00:16:38,827 It's where they summarize your whole life in one sentence. 286 00:16:38,828 --> 00:16:43,582 Mine's gonna read, "He was stabbed in the back by his son"! 287 00:16:43,583 --> 00:16:47,795 A real father would support his son's terrible, heartless decision! 288 00:16:47,796 --> 00:16:51,006 Dad, someday can I screw you out of something we create together? 289 00:16:51,007 --> 00:16:53,675 You do, and I'll destroy you. 290 00:16:53,676 --> 00:16:58,347 How could making a deal with avocados be a bad thing? It's a good fat. 291 00:16:58,348 --> 00:17:01,391 Well, growing avocados does use a lot of water. 292 00:17:01,392 --> 00:17:04,728 Over nine and a half billion liters per day. 293 00:17:04,729 --> 00:17:06,438 What's that in swimming pools? 294 00:17:06,439 --> 00:17:08,941 - 3,800. 295 00:17:08,942 --> 00:17:13,446 And the transport of avocado products endangers wildlife everywhere. 296 00:17:17,283 --> 00:17:18,284 Mmm. 297 00:17:20,036 --> 00:17:24,748 Avocado oil is just using Noodleball to cover up the bad stuff they do. 298 00:17:24,749 --> 00:17:29,545 You know, the way Middle East oil spent billions to create LIV Golf. 299 00:17:29,546 --> 00:17:33,465 LIV Golf can't be bad. I bleed Mickelson's Maniacs blue. 300 00:17:33,466 --> 00:17:37,553 And now avocado oil is playing the same slippery game. 301 00:17:37,554 --> 00:17:39,179 No. No, I won't believe it. 302 00:17:39,180 --> 00:17:42,307 Not the Organic Pit-based Enjoyment Council! 303 00:17:42,308 --> 00:17:44,060 You mean OPEC? 304 00:17:45,145 --> 00:17:47,813 Uh, "Pit-based" is kind of a cheat, but I get it. 305 00:17:47,814 --> 00:17:54,571 I sold out my dad for avocado. Oil, that is, green gold, Tex-Mex tea. 306 00:17:58,908 --> 00:18:00,826 I demand to play in the tournament! 307 00:18:00,827 --> 00:18:04,747 Of course you can. You're on the cover of Avocado Aficionado. 308 00:18:05,331 --> 00:18:07,750 Oh, yeah. One went up my butt. 309 00:18:08,459 --> 00:18:12,838 Your partner, NFL legend Andrew Luck, is waiting for you. 310 00:18:12,839 --> 00:18:15,174 Join me, Homer. I need a new sport. 311 00:18:15,175 --> 00:18:18,969 My wife keeps telling me to stop moving furniture around and get out of the house. 312 00:18:18,970 --> 00:18:23,140 Andrew, if I played with you, I'd secure my Noodleball legacy forever. 313 00:18:23,141 --> 00:18:26,602 But at the terrible price of supporting big avocado. 314 00:18:26,603 --> 00:18:30,314 So there's another retiree who I'm teaming up with. 315 00:18:30,315 --> 00:18:31,857 My father. 316 00:18:31,858 --> 00:18:35,360 We created Noodleball to keep all people mobile and healthy. 317 00:18:35,361 --> 00:18:38,697 We're taking our sport back, legacy be damned! 318 00:18:38,698 --> 00:18:42,284 And my son and I challenge your best team. 319 00:18:42,285 --> 00:18:44,203 Do you and this walking wrinkle bag 320 00:18:44,204 --> 00:18:47,539 really expect to beat Blake Griffin and Megan Rapinoe? 321 00:18:47,540 --> 00:18:50,959 We're playing now? I just had three avocado Bellinis. 322 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:53,086 What is it with you and Bellinis? 323 00:18:53,087 --> 00:18:54,339 They loosen me up, Megan. 324 00:18:58,301 --> 00:19:00,552 Thanks for bringing me back, Son. 325 00:19:00,553 --> 00:19:04,389 Dad, we never played catch or tossed a football, 326 00:19:04,390 --> 00:19:06,058 but we have this. 327 00:19:06,059 --> 00:19:10,062 You're right, Son, and that's why we're gonna win. 328 00:19:10,063 --> 00:19:13,066 We are this safe, low-impact game. 329 00:19:17,403 --> 00:19:20,405 - Oh! Ow! My hip! 330 00:19:20,406 --> 00:19:23,825 - Oh, my heart! 331 00:19:23,826 --> 00:19:26,161 Noodleball is no more. 332 00:19:26,162 --> 00:19:27,454 In its league premiere, 333 00:19:27,455 --> 00:19:32,000 founder Homer Simpson and his father suffered gruesome career-ending injuries, 334 00:19:32,001 --> 00:19:36,838 ruining Noodleball's professional debut and sending avocado futures plummeting. 335 00:19:36,839 --> 00:19:39,925 - Oh, my sport is dead 336 00:19:39,926 --> 00:19:43,679 and the only guy who showed up to sign my cast is Andrew Luck. 337 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:45,931 Ooh, I get the whole space. 338 00:19:45,932 --> 00:19:47,599 Mm-hmm. 339 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,977 Cheer up, Homer. Retirement is wonderful. 340 00:19:49,978 --> 00:19:53,355 You'll have so much more time to spend on your charities and with your family. 341 00:19:53,356 --> 00:19:56,858 Oh, I want a second opinion from Peyton Manning. 342 00:19:58,319 --> 00:20:00,028 I'm proud of you, Homie. 343 00:20:00,029 --> 00:20:03,865 You stuck by your dad and rejected big avocado. 344 00:20:03,866 --> 00:20:07,035 Although if it comes in a salad, I'm not sending it back. 345 00:20:07,036 --> 00:20:08,203 I love it on a burger. 346 00:20:08,204 --> 00:20:10,164 Or just spooned right out of the skin. 347 00:20:12,292 --> 00:20:15,168 If we'd just swam in those pools, 348 00:20:15,169 --> 00:20:17,796 none of this bad stuff would've happened. 349 00:20:17,797 --> 00:20:21,633 Oh, but the water's so chilly when you first go in. 350 00:20:21,634 --> 00:20:24,345 Nothing good came out of this. 351 00:20:26,806 --> 00:20:30,142 This is that backhoe-renting weirdo's house, Amy. 352 00:20:30,143 --> 00:20:35,315 Oh, Andrew, you were so brave to testify against him. Mm-mmm. 353 00:20:35,982 --> 00:20:38,066 Oh, my! 354 00:20:49,829 --> 00:20:53,707 Official rules of Noodleball. Section 29. 355 00:20:53,708 --> 00:20:57,836 If a dog steals your pool ball, you're allowed to steal its ball. 356 00:20:57,837 --> 00:20:59,921 All players must count up their meds, 357 00:20:59,922 --> 00:21:02,591 and the one with the most pills serves first. 358 00:21:02,592 --> 00:21:05,969 The pool noodle may be blown through but not yelled through. 359 00:21:05,970 --> 00:21:10,807 In between points, a maximum of three pictures of grandkids may be shown. 360 00:21:10,808 --> 00:21:13,936 Four, if the kids are costumed or in a school play. 361 00:21:14,812 --> 00:21:17,230 If a player's pool noodle comes untied, 362 00:21:17,231 --> 00:21:20,901 that player must call "Flopper," and the play is suspended 363 00:21:20,902 --> 00:21:22,987 until the laughter subsides. 364 00:21:23,696 --> 00:21:27,992 If the pool being played in has a separate hot tub... nice. 365 00:21:29,660 --> 00:21:30,661 Shh!