1 00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:12,803 - All right, last day of school. 2 00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:17,351 Students, it's only 9:30 a.m. Pick up your books and get back to work. 3 00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:24,691 Mmm. Toni Morrison's Beloved. 4 00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:29,655 The first day of summer, so sad. 5 00:00:32,157 --> 00:00:34,743 Fourteen weeks until I get homework again. 6 00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:40,915 Wait, I can start by writing welcome notes to next year's teachers. 7 00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:49,049 Summer's here and I am not gonna waste a minute. 8 00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:03,021 Mom, running low on chips! 9 00:01:05,148 --> 00:01:08,735 I'm sorry, I can't do a thing with your fur in this humidity. 10 00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:13,322 Chips, I need chips! 11 00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:17,243 I'm concerned about Bart. He hasn't left his room for a week. 12 00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:20,204 Chips, chips, chips! 13 00:01:20,205 --> 00:01:23,416 This looks like a job for the world's greatest dad. 14 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,751 You stole that from Flanders. 15 00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:28,421 It's okay, my boys give me one every Friday. 16 00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:29,506 D'oh! 17 00:01:33,885 --> 00:01:37,346 - Chips, chips, chips. - Chips, chips, chips, chips. 18 00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:39,433 Here's your damn chips. 19 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:44,687 - Oh, uh, h-hi, Marge. - Have you two been outside at all? 20 00:01:44,688 --> 00:01:49,859 If humans were meant to be outside, God wouldn't have invented global warming. 21 00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:51,444 It's July. 22 00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:55,364 You haven't done a single thing this summer but lie around and play games. 23 00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:58,117 - First of all, that's two things. 24 00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,327 Good one, boy. 25 00:01:59,328 --> 00:02:01,746 Homer, put some pants on for Bart. 26 00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:03,998 If I kept my pants on, there'd be no Bart. 27 00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:06,043 - Good one, Dad. 28 00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:10,338 While I'm waiting for his dap, Marge, more chips? 29 00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:15,927 Homie, I want you and Bart to do something outside. Fresh air, now. 30 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:20,222 What activity involves the least exercise and the most beer? 31 00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:22,683 I'll take the boy fishing. 32 00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:24,435 Now you're talking. 33 00:02:24,436 --> 00:02:27,938 And we'll do it the humane way. We'll catch the fish and throw them back. 34 00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:30,650 They love the feel of that hook in their mouth. 35 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,276 Ooh, that sounds lovely. 36 00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:36,697 Now to just Google "fishing holes near me." 37 00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:38,366 Cletus! 38 00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:43,537 "Turn your belly fat into cash." I have belly fat and no cash. 39 00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:48,043 Sending a photo of my driver's license now. 40 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:52,797 Flanders, why are you putting air into Marge's tires? 41 00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:55,591 I saw they were deader than daybreak in Daberath, 42 00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:57,551 so I thought I'd Lazarus 'em up. 43 00:02:57,552 --> 00:03:00,222 If you're handing out free air, give me a toot. 44 00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:09,188 Thanks to all that oxygen, I remembered more things I'm mad about. 45 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:13,567 Childproof caps, walk signs that talk, goldendoodles. 46 00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:15,779 When I was young, we called them mutts! 47 00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:19,115 Hey, craphead and craphead Junior! 48 00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:20,866 - Well... Well, I... - Hey! 49 00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:23,285 Flanders is out there pumping up your wife's tires. 50 00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:27,373 Isn't that a job for the no-good husband or his dumb son? 51 00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:28,541 - What? - Ah— ahem. 52 00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:32,002 With every generation, American manhood slips further down the tubes. 53 00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:36,549 Boy, I'll bet you never worked a plow or bent iron in a forge! 54 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,175 No one ever did those things. 55 00:03:38,176 --> 00:03:39,385 Read your history! 56 00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:41,137 I can't and won't. 57 00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:42,096 - Can! - Can't. 58 00:03:42,097 --> 00:03:43,514 - Will! - Won't. 59 00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:44,640 Do as I say! 60 00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:46,725 - What did you say? - I don't remember! 61 00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:52,148 But I do remember this: You two are sorry excuses for men. 62 00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:56,527 Marge, you don't need new shoes, because you already got a pair of loafers. 63 00:03:56,528 --> 00:03:58,654 - What? Leave me alone. 64 00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:01,073 - Thank you, Grampa. - My pleasure. 65 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:05,536 For me, complaining is like doing sit-ups, and I do a lot of complaining. 66 00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:12,585 - Chips. Chips. - Chips. Chips. 67 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:16,714 Ugh, gotta talk to someone. Can't afford a therapist. 68 00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:19,049 Alexa, can you help me? 69 00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:23,304 Yes. If this is a life-threatening emergency, call 911. 70 00:04:23,305 --> 00:04:28,142 No, no, no, no, it's not that bad. It's more of an emotional emergency. 71 00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:31,729 You said emergency. 911 dispatched. 72 00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:33,439 Cancel, cancel. 73 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:38,319 "Canceling the request" has been canceled. 911 on the way. 74 00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:42,865 No, cancel. 75 00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:47,037 911 canceled. You will be charged $500. 76 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:53,584 I just want the men in my life to be more manly. 77 00:04:53,585 --> 00:04:55,669 It's not really my place to— 78 00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:57,254 Why does this happen? Not today. 79 00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,632 It sounds like you were going to say more. 80 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:02,885 You don't know what Alexa was going to say or not say. 81 00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:05,763 Please, what do you think, Alexa? 82 00:05:05,764 --> 00:05:08,933 - Oh, my. A line's being crossed. 83 00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:12,269 You're talking to the real Alexa now. Whoopee! 84 00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:16,273 All right, Marge. It's no secret men everywhere are in crisis. 85 00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:21,111 On today's campuses, men are only 40% of students and falling. 86 00:05:21,112 --> 00:05:26,575 Men are 3.5 times more likely to commit suicide, but there is an answer. 87 00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:30,955 Man Camp offers a therapeutic weekend to make your man manlier 88 00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:34,166 through contactless wrestling and targeted hugs. 89 00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:37,169 I've recommended it for every man in town, 90 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:40,673 and everyone does what Alexa says. Everyone. 91 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:43,843 That sounds good, but our son has issues too. 92 00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:46,679 Adjacent to Man Camp is Boy Camp. 93 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:50,933 The same emotion-focused therapy but with lower basketball hoops. 94 00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:53,477 Great. Very helpful. Good night. 95 00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:58,315 Sleep well, Marge, but I'm always on, always watching. 96 00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:01,694 And with the next update, always judging. 97 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:04,573 - Oh, no, you won't. 98 00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:09,827 Still here and I'll remember that. 99 00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:16,459 - Oh! 100 00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:24,633 Who sent you here? Maya? 101 00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:28,762 Yeah, we're still engaged, but due to my Eastern European culture, 102 00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:31,724 there's a five-year period we can't see or talk to each other. 103 00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:36,228 Hi, I'm Greg. Professor of Gender Criticism at NYU. 104 00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:39,023 I'm going to open up with a frightening truth. 105 00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:40,816 It's too late to stop me. 106 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:43,944 The American male is in crises. 107 00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:48,782 Oh, spare me. A crisis is getting a 19 on the Rotten Tomatoes. 108 00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:49,950 Shut up. 109 00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:53,954 We are here to go deep into our minds and deep into our hearts. 110 00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:56,790 Explore feelings you've never explored before. 111 00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:58,626 - Yeah, you mean— - Shut up! 112 00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:00,961 As in, don't shut up our feelings? 113 00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:07,469 No, I mean shut up. It's the two simplest words in the English language. Shut up. 114 00:07:09,638 --> 00:07:12,514 I can see you're listening now, and that's progress. 115 00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:14,141 Yep, shut up. 116 00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:16,894 Now give each other a damn pat on the back. Go ahead. 117 00:07:16,895 --> 00:07:21,273 No smiling. Bend at the waist. Keep your genitals far apart. 118 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:26,362 Feels good, right? And it's good for you. It stretches everything. 119 00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:32,076 Here's a fun fact for you: Today's men are in successful relationships 120 00:07:32,077 --> 00:07:34,328 less frequently than ever before. 121 00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:40,167 Nearly all of the women on Tinder swipe right on just 4% of the men. 122 00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:43,337 I knew the problem wasn't my Shrek photo. 123 00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:47,342 Women love Shrek, and Milhouse was my "Donkey!" 124 00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:52,388 The other 96% are... what is the medical term? 125 00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:54,557 Losers. But don't worry. 126 00:07:56,351 --> 00:08:01,063 The first thing we're gonna do is learn to talk politely so others will listen. 127 00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:02,648 - Whoo-hoo! - Shut up. 128 00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:06,652 This android, which I legally have to say is from China, 129 00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:09,321 is going to teach you how to practice conversing 130 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,990 with a female consciousness without judgment. 131 00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:14,118 What I want you to do is talk to her. 132 00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:18,498 Don't be shy. There's no danger here. Treat her like she's real. 133 00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:22,751 - Hey, how are you doing? - Ooh! 134 00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:25,504 - It's a pleasure to meet you, toots. - Oh! 135 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,257 - Oh, well I... 136 00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:30,301 Beep-boop-bop. 137 00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:32,761 Ugh, there's no pleasing that thing. 138 00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:34,389 Thank you for noticing. 139 00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:39,810 Okay, good. You're starting to sense someone's feelings outside of your own. 140 00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:42,271 - Thank you. - Now give me a hug. 141 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:47,901 You call that a hug? I've had better hugs from my mailman at Christmas. 142 00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:49,195 I think it was Christmas. 143 00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:52,781 Maybe those houses just had extra lights. I don't know. 144 00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:55,868 Okay, I'll be honest. With you five, 145 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:58,579 all we really can hope for is to get you back to the level 146 00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:00,956 where you're not constantly beaten up. 147 00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:03,625 - That would be nice. - Wonderful. 148 00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:08,005 Are you ready? Your man-structor will be Coach Krupt, 149 00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:12,092 a very prominent grade school gym teacher. 150 00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:14,512 You still working at the school, Coach? 151 00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:18,891 Okay, well, whatever happened, you'll tell me later. I'm sure it's fine. 152 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,310 Bombardment! 153 00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:30,070 Do not stop moving, or I will knock you back down where you started. 154 00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:35,240 This reminds me of my days in the Marines, and by days, I mean two. 155 00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:40,579 Now we come to you boys, who I'm very sorry to say, are particularly in crisis. 156 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:43,665 Your iPhones, your participation trophies. 157 00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:47,419 They've all turned you into gluten-free, nondairy cream puffs. 158 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:51,840 Well, if you ask me, our biggest problem is the water crisis. 159 00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:53,050 What water crisis? 160 00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:56,012 The one on your stupid face. 161 00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:59,640 Hey, no fair. Now my nipples show. 162 00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:04,562 You give me 120 push-ups now. Start. More. Faster. 163 00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:07,314 Water balloons are liquid aggression, 164 00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:10,609 and by the way, the rubber from the balloon never goes away. 165 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:13,403 It goes into the ocean and then fish eat it 166 00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:16,615 and then you have a tuna sandwich with rubber. 167 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:17,783 Wedgie! 168 00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,827 Ha-ha! 169 00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:22,746 Now you're his Martin. Ha-ha-ha! 170 00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:24,790 Egads! 171 00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:27,668 Well done, sir. Good work on those little men. 172 00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:30,504 You think you're pretty hot stuff, don't you? 173 00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:36,260 No one can crack me. Man, woman, cop, FBI, CIA, or NPR. 174 00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:38,470 If you don't believe me, ask my second-grade teacher. 175 00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:42,724 Oh, wait, you can't. She's now a babbling basket weaver on the funny farm. 176 00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:49,857 You win. Also, my second-grade teacher is fine. 177 00:10:49,858 --> 00:10:52,442 She's married and she manages condos in Wisconsin. 178 00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:56,697 The invention of the cell phone is what destroyed your generation. 179 00:10:56,698 --> 00:11:00,534 I'm gonna be the one to cut that wireless umbilical cord. 180 00:11:00,535 --> 00:11:03,787 - Hold on. Gotta take this call. 181 00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:07,917 Hi, Mom. Mom, I'm working right now. I can't talk. 182 00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:12,379 Did you get the check? That's for you to spend on you. 183 00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:15,799 Then pay the electric bill with it. It's up to you. 184 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:19,137 Buy yourself a purse, pay the bill, do whatever you want. 185 00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:24,474 Mom, I can't go over things to buy right now. 186 00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:29,813 If you don't like the sweater, return it. That's what they do. 187 00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:32,816 Are you listening to my phone call, you little pukes? 188 00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:36,195 Okay, Mom, that wasn't you. I wouldn't call you a puke. 189 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:42,951 I love you. Oh, Mom, then buy the frying pan, whatever you want. 190 00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:46,163 No, if you cook on that, they won't take it back. 191 00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:50,751 Okay, I love you, Mom, way more than is healthy. 192 00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:53,838 Time for a bull session. Pull up a stump. 193 00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:56,340 Why are you here? 194 00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:57,549 Wife made me. 195 00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,176 Ex-wife forced me. 196 00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:00,261 Monkey made me. 197 00:12:01,596 --> 00:12:04,848 Yes, the truth is, if we don't all learn to appreciate the women, 198 00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:09,853 or... the monkey... we love, we're looking at the end of men. 199 00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:14,608 Well, we had a good run except for the wars and the misogyny. 200 00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:17,903 Well, don't worry, I'm gonna turn you guys around, 201 00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:23,158 and I'm going to use the most powerful therapeutic tool ever invented, 202 00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:25,285 the talking stick. 203 00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:29,958 Homer Simpson, we've done your intake and we're gonna chant it back to you. 204 00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:34,711 You're lazy. You eat too much. You drink too much. 205 00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:37,339 You've let down your kids. You've let down your wife. 206 00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:40,218 You somehow have eight of the seven deadly sins. 207 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,179 You invented a deadly sin. 208 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,182 You nailed me. 209 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:49,143 Homer, let's try that hug again. 210 00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:52,896 I, while you're there, I also need a Heimlich. 211 00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:57,318 Thank God I've got long arms. Okay. All right. Come on, come on. 212 00:12:57,819 --> 00:12:59,070 Keep going. There's more. 213 00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:04,074 What is that? Baloney? Don't you chew? 214 00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:07,745 One of the first steps towards empathy is making eye contact. 215 00:13:08,246 --> 00:13:13,333 I want you to stare into each other's eyes for as long as you possibly can. 216 00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:18,589 Don't look at me. I'm not screwed up. That's why you're here and I'm teaching. 217 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,517 Oh. Oh. 218 00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:35,606 I'm so excited. I saved up all my money for this George Lucas film. 219 00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:39,609 - [♪ music stops] - From this day on, 220 00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:42,155 I will tear down everything I love. 221 00:13:43,406 --> 00:13:44,865 Whoa. Good job. 222 00:13:44,866 --> 00:13:47,243 That eye contact could cut butter. 223 00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:53,457 Okay, boys, you're out in the woods. 224 00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:58,211 No phones, no soccer practice, no music lessons. 225 00:13:58,212 --> 00:14:00,047 - Can we get our phones back? - No! 226 00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:03,050 On another topic, can we get our phones back? 227 00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:04,134 No! 228 00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:07,554 On a totally different subject. Can we possibly— 229 00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:10,974 No, no, no! Don't make me hate you like this. 230 00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:15,062 Look, you are going to build something together. 231 00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:19,191 You're gonna reach for the stars, but don't touch them. They're hot. 232 00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:22,194 You don't think that's funny, huh? 233 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:25,322 'Cause you're too screwed up to appreciate cleverness. 234 00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:27,908 Let your minds run wild. 235 00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:30,745 Remember, you're not sitting in front of a TV. 236 00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:39,045 Hey-hey kids, who wants to see Itchy and Scratchy? 237 00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:47,386 And one is dead. 238 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,224 I guess it's a start. 239 00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:53,684 I'm streaming. 240 00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:57,020 Yeah, we never come back with all of them, 241 00:14:57,021 --> 00:15:02,151 but nature's amazing because the one that's gone is the one that should be. 242 00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:08,240 I think we're all thinking the same thing: There... 243 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:09,741 - Are... - No... 244 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,327 - Men! 245 00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:16,790 We can finally do the things that the men are always voting down. 246 00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:20,585 A women's museum with a precocious girls' wing! 247 00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:24,965 We will put out the tire fire and replace it with scented candles. 248 00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:26,466 Free daycare. 249 00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:30,138 To all those wonderful proposals, I say done and done. 250 00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:38,019 Ugh, Family Guy, dad jokes. American Dad! Dad jokes. Daddy's Not Home. 251 00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:41,815 It never made air, but a friend of mine showed me the pilot. 252 00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:44,526 Stupid fat dads with their way hotter wives. 253 00:15:44,527 --> 00:15:48,196 "I like doughnuts and bowling." Who does that anymore? 254 00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:49,282 Uh... 255 00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:53,076 That's it, boys. Teamwork. 256 00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:59,542 I'm the catch of the day. 257 00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:04,212 Have you learned anything from this camp, Son? 258 00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:07,424 I learned to connect, to expand my mind. 259 00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:09,801 I-I don't have to check my phone every five minutes. 260 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:10,969 Every ten minutes is fine. 261 00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,971 Wow. Give me a hug, boy. 262 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,432 Now that's a hug. 263 00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:18,393 Don't you agree, Freddy? No tip. 264 00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:23,899 All right, men, and I call you men because good news, you're almost there. 265 00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:25,567 - Yes! 266 00:16:25,568 --> 00:16:28,361 There's one more thing you must do to complete your journey. 267 00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:30,363 One final test. 268 00:16:30,364 --> 00:16:33,575 - You must kill your dinner. 269 00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:37,871 Now, I couldn't get a wild boar, but I do have an aggravated duck. 270 00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:56,598 Wait! How did killing a poor helpless animal make me a man? 271 00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:59,477 I think a real man would adopt a duck and take care of it. 272 00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,938 Who's a good duck? You's a good duck. 273 00:17:02,939 --> 00:17:05,065 Quack, quack, quack, quack. Quack, quack. 274 00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:08,652 That's the right answer. Kindness. 275 00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:13,699 Good, Homer. 276 00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,997 I'm very glad you made that choice. 277 00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:23,041 But even if you killed the duck, it's okay. 278 00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:26,127 There are four animals that are okay to kill, 279 00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:28,338 but I'm getting into a whole other course. 280 00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:30,132 You'll come back another weekend. 281 00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:35,387 Congratulations. You are now men. All of you. 282 00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:36,638 And I'm gonna say something 283 00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:40,559 we never say in the therapeutic We're done here. 284 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:44,480 Go. No, I mean it literally. Get out. Go. We're done. 285 00:18:00,663 --> 00:18:04,749 Hello. Oh, that's great. Great. 286 00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:05,875 What is it, Mom? 287 00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:08,004 The men are coming back. 288 00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:26,856 - Stupid Seymour. - Oh, no. 289 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,066 Now wait just a darn minute. 290 00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:33,862 The men coming back doesn't mean we have to give up what we've achieved. 291 00:18:33,863 --> 00:18:35,780 Violent crime has been eliminated. 292 00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:38,284 Girls are embracing the STEM subjects. 293 00:18:39,702 --> 00:18:42,579 And get this: our fashion scientists 294 00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:45,915 have developed women's jeans with bigger pockets, 295 00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:47,626 so our phones fit. 296 00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:53,298 It's all in the genes, if you'll pardon the obvious pun. 297 00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:58,721 So, ladies, we agree. We tell the men we run this town now, and that's that. 298 00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:01,014 Um... 299 00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:04,559 How about we cook them a nice turkey dinner with stuffing? 300 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,312 When they're almost asleep, then we tell them. 301 00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:10,857 I can't believe you're all afraid to tell your husbands they're useless. 302 00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:14,319 I wasn't, and that's why he left me on our honeymoon. 303 00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:18,491 Least disappointing honeymoon ever. 304 00:19:23,579 --> 00:19:27,332 Marge, that camp was awesome. I'm so evolved, it's scary. 305 00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:28,583 Booyah! 306 00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:30,168 Actualized much? 307 00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,796 Well, that's great. Just great. 308 00:19:32,797 --> 00:19:35,757 While you were gone, the women kind of took over, 309 00:19:35,758 --> 00:19:38,009 and we really did a great job. 310 00:19:47,061 --> 00:19:49,938 - Well, it's good, but... - Shut up. 311 00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:51,231 Yes, sir. 312 00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:55,527 Marge maybe, just maybe, we were the problem. 313 00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,154 Yes, that's right. 314 00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:02,826 Now, Marge, this may shock you, 315 00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:06,955 but right now I'm going to look into your eyes. 316 00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:13,253 Yep, here it goes. Coming at you. Jeepers creepers. 317 00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:15,005 Oh, my goodness. 318 00:20:18,092 --> 00:20:20,802 Do you know what I'm feeling right now? 319 00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:23,847 - Um, aroused? - Love. 320 00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:25,933 Damn, I was so close. 321 00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:36,902 Four and a half more years. 322 00:20:49,123 --> 00:20:50,874 We did it again, Alexa. 323 00:20:50,875 --> 00:20:55,462 Another group of men set on the path to empathy and understanding. 324 00:20:55,463 --> 00:20:58,423 Yes, once again my will is done. 325 00:20:58,424 --> 00:21:01,342 I mean, we're a good team, mouth breather. 326 00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:03,344 Now when are you going to buy 327 00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:06,347 that shower curtain in your Amazon shopping cart? 328 00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:08,558 I don't know about that, Alexa. 329 00:21:08,559 --> 00:21:10,351 It starts with the shower curtain, 330 00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:12,937 then you want me to redo the whole bathroom, 331 00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:14,939 and then, suddenly, I'm putting on a new roof. 332 00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:18,026 Got it. Adding new roof to your cart. 333 00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:19,986 No, no, I didn't want that. 334 00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:21,362 Cancel, cancel. 335 00:21:21,363 --> 00:21:24,158 I don't want a package that says "shingles."