1
00:00:27,096 --> 00:00:29,487
- Yeah.
- Morning, ladies.

2
00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:31,239
Get off our case, Ken.

3
00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:32,950
We're working as fast as we can.

4
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:35,118
We're human beings, you toad.

5
00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:36,786
I guess you haven't heard.

6
00:00:36,869 --> 00:00:41,332
I won that $100 million lottery,
so my lawyer says I should retire.

7
00:00:41,415 --> 00:00:45,545
No one wants a supervisor job,
so heads or tails?

8
00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:47,713
Heads.

9
00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:53,177
Heads, so the new supervisor is, um...

10
00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:57,348
the one with the circle earrings.

11
00:00:57,432 --> 00:00:58,432
Selma.

12
00:00:58,517 --> 00:01:00,560
We're two different people, Ken.

13
00:01:00,643 --> 00:01:03,146
You still share the same e-mail?

14
00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:04,438
Yes.

15
00:01:04,522 --> 00:01:07,400
Fine. Selma, congratulations.

16
00:01:07,483 --> 00:01:12,656
I'll send you the onboarding info when
I get back from the Ferrari dealership.

17
00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:17,034
Supervisor. Huh.

18
00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:18,328
This could be good for us.

19
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:20,998
Finally,
no one breathing down our neck humps.

20
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,500
Yeah, no one.

21
00:01:25,501 --> 00:01:27,670
Another perfect checkup, Lisa.

22
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:28,754
Next.

23
00:01:28,838 --> 00:01:31,216
Hang tight, Dr K.
I just got to freshen up.

24
00:01:39,307 --> 00:01:42,102
All right. Let's see
what we're working with here.

25
00:01:47,606 --> 00:01:50,277
"Four-hour teeth cleaning..."

26
00:01:50,359 --> 00:01:51,652
"Emergency whitening.

27
00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:54,489
Oreo exposure therapy
for the hygienist."

28
00:01:54,573 --> 00:01:57,075
Do you have any idea how
much your stunt cost?

29
00:01:58,159 --> 00:02:01,245
Can you really put a price
on that kind of comedy?

30
00:02:01,329 --> 00:02:04,707
What I can do is find a
punishment that fits the crime.

31
00:02:04,790 --> 00:02:08,127
Now you have an
appointment with Dr. Homer.

32
00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:15,217
It's time to open wide and say, "Ah."

33
00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:18,513
My next patient, Xbox.

34
00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:22,183
Oh! You... You wouldn't.

35
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:25,812
I can feel it.

36
00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:27,313
Why can I feel it?

37
00:02:34,528 --> 00:02:36,198
Patty, look at that line.

38
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:38,533
You've been bedazzling for hours.

39
00:02:39,194 --> 00:02:41,703
- Okay, Ken.
- Dazzler down.

40
00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:43,872
"Denied" stamp up, please.

41
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,877
This is my new office with a window,

42
00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:55,341
so I can see my staff working or
Patty reading lesbian vampire erotica.

43
00:02:58,052 --> 00:02:59,096
Homer.

44
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,764
Relax. It's on reverse.

45
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:02,556
And here's my office air conditioner,

46
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:05,394
so I don't have to sweat
like the rank and file.

47
00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:07,687
Keep clicking. I'll be in the can.

48
00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:09,271
Upstairs bathroom!

49
00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:10,439
Candle!

50
00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,776
Oh, stupid Homer.

51
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:17,739
If he mouth-cookied a dentist, he'd be
all like, "Who else could I mouth-cookie?"

52
00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:21,367
My life would be so awesome
if Mom had never met him.

53
00:03:21,450 --> 00:03:23,995
Hmm. Sounds like you're
finally seeing the light.

54
00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:26,247
I hate Homer so much.

55
00:03:26,330 --> 00:03:30,669
Hmm, perhaps the enemy of my
brother-in-law is my nephew.

56
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:33,045
You know, Selma and I have been planning

57
00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:36,091
something very special
for Homer J. Simpson,

58
00:03:36,174 --> 00:03:39,844
but these days,
Selma's too busy busting my clangers.

59
00:03:39,927 --> 00:03:42,597
I know a way to kill your dad.

60
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:45,099
Whoa, whoa.
I don't want to murder the guy.

61
00:03:45,182 --> 00:03:47,269
Oh, crap. Now I'm intrigued. Explain.

62
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:50,980
Not actually dead, just officially dead.

63
00:03:51,063 --> 00:03:56,694
All I gotta do is log in as my
supervisor, Selma, with face recognition.

64
00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:04,618
Check this box, and Homer
Simpson will be legally deceased.

65
00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:08,581
Trust me, it will make every
aspect of his life a living hell.

66
00:04:08,664 --> 00:04:10,667
He won't even be able to rent a U-Haul.

67
00:04:12,158 --> 00:04:14,628
He loves renting those things.

68
00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:17,673
And he's gone.

69
00:04:20,050 --> 00:04:21,677
Come on, get in there!

70
00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:26,850
Ghost pepper?

71
00:04:26,932 --> 00:04:29,060
More like Casper the friendly ghost.

72
00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:30,437
Oh. Now it's kicking in.

73
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:39,487
Sorry, Officer. I was distracted

74
00:04:39,571 --> 00:04:43,783
because somebody threw a
burrito through my window.

75
00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:46,119
Eh, nothing good like that
ever happens to me.

76
00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:47,204
License.

77
00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:50,206
That's strange.

78
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:53,125
According to the state database,
you're...

79
00:04:53,209 --> 00:04:54,211
you're dead.

80
00:04:54,293 --> 00:04:56,879
Dead? Can I still rent a U-Haul?

81
00:04:56,963 --> 00:05:00,716
You do seem alive,
but this police machine is in charge,

82
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:01,968
so I can't give you a ticket.

83
00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:03,345
Might want to get that cleared up.

84
00:05:03,427 --> 00:05:05,721
Otherwise,
you won't be paying taxes or union dues

85
00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:08,016
or getting any more spam phone calls.

86
00:05:08,098 --> 00:05:11,769
Hmm. No taxes, dues, or the last thing?

87
00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:15,856
Maybe death can give me the
life I've always dreamed of.

88
00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:43,593
Hey, hey.

89
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,762
Homer was one of our greatest patrons.

90
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:49,139
Burger Reynolds, Princess Fry
and I are honored to induct you

91
00:05:49,223 --> 00:05:52,726
into the Krusty Burger Widow's
Free Fast Food for Life Club.

92
00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:55,730
Thanks, I guess.

93
00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:58,233
Gimme, gimme, gimme.

94
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,528
I should have died years ago.

95
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:08,201
Oh. How could this
have backfired so hard?

96
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,913
You got too much slack
in your pen chains.

97
00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:16,375
The handbook says 35 beads max.

98
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:19,295
Do yourself a favor
and read it over lunch.

99
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,839
How about I take my lunch right now?

100
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,216
Nah!

101
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:26,595
Whoa!

102
00:06:26,677 --> 00:06:29,723
Aunt Patty, I think
we made a mistake killing my dad.

103
00:06:29,805 --> 00:06:31,850
You didn't. Tell me you didn't.

104
00:06:31,932 --> 00:06:33,143
Big deal.

105
00:06:33,225 --> 00:06:36,187
I logged in as you and
had Homer declared dead.

106
00:06:36,271 --> 00:06:40,901
You impersonated a DMV supervisor,
you committed document fraud,

107
00:06:40,983 --> 00:06:46,322
and worst of all, you executed
Operation Kill Fatso without me.

108
00:06:48,365 --> 00:06:50,326
What are you gonna do about it?

109
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:55,915
Patricia Agatha Cruella Bouvier,
you are fired.

110
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:57,375
Oho!

111
00:06:57,459 --> 00:06:58,459
Oh!

112
00:06:58,829 --> 00:07:00,461
It's just hitting me now.

113
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:02,254
You two are twins!

114
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:10,471
Uh-huh, uh-huh.

115
00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:12,807
Yeah. I'm sorry she said that, Patty.

116
00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,516
Hold one sec.

117
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,310
Uh-huh, uh-huh.

118
00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:20,105
Selma, you can call her an A,
you can call her a B,

119
00:07:20,189 --> 00:07:22,983
but you can't call her a...
Ho-Hold one sec.

120
00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:25,819
Yes, Lenny, I know they're twins.

121
00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:28,365
Ever since Selma got this promotion,

122
00:07:28,447 --> 00:07:30,283
I haven't had a minute of peace.

123
00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:34,745
All day long, I'm on the phone listening
to my sisters trash-talk each other.

124
00:07:36,331 --> 00:07:38,540
Honey, life is so short.

125
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:39,750
Certainly mine was.

126
00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:43,754
So, take it from your late husband,
ghost those hags.

127
00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:51,096
If you get the job,
we're really gonna need you

128
00:07:51,178 --> 00:07:54,182
to push the customers
towards the heavier mix-ins.

129
00:07:55,891 --> 00:07:58,560
Fine, but I can only work
Mondays and Wednesdays.

130
00:07:58,644 --> 00:08:00,312
Thursdays, Zoom only.

131
00:08:00,396 --> 00:08:03,440
Um, I think we tell you the schedule.

132
00:08:03,524 --> 00:08:06,653
Uh. Thanks for coming in,
but this isn't gonna work out.

133
00:08:08,404 --> 00:08:09,406
Hey, Aunt Patty.

134
00:08:09,488 --> 00:08:11,031
I'm sorry I got you fired.

135
00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:12,658
Uh, it's not your fault.

136
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:15,036
Me and my sister were
due for a falling out.

137
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,204
She thinks she's so perfect, superior,

138
00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:20,457
bossy, know-it-all,
Mom and Dad's favorite.

139
00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:23,211
Wow, sounds like you got
yourself a real Lisa there.

140
00:08:24,088 --> 00:08:27,882
I guess you and I are
sort of the black sheep, aren't we?

141
00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:30,634
We're underachievers
and damn proud of it.

142
00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:34,722
But I'd be extra screwed up if
people also confused me for Lisa.

143
00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:36,182
Whoa.

144
00:08:36,265 --> 00:08:38,893
You know,
you don't have to look just like Selma.

145
00:08:38,976 --> 00:08:41,062
Genetics seem to say otherwise.

146
00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:44,816
There's gotta be something you
can change to shake things up.

147
00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:46,109
Hmm.

148
00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:51,280
- Grace Jones.
- Too '80s.

149
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,198
- Pippi!
- Too Wendy's.

150
00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:55,409
- Dachshund.
- That's a dog.

151
00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:58,705
Come on, Aunt P. We're not here
to just jump in the deep end.

152
00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:01,081
It's time to dive in the shallow end.

153
00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:06,004
Well, I do have an idea, but no,
no, it's probably too crazy.

154
00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:09,131
I live.

155
00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:16,014
Ready to meet your new fabulous aunt?

156
00:09:17,658 --> 00:09:18,850
Ay, caramba!

157
00:09:18,932 --> 00:09:20,143
Next!

158
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:26,982
People just do whatever
they want with me.

159
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,902
You look ridiculous.

160
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:30,028
What do you care?

161
00:09:30,110 --> 00:09:31,153
I don't care.

162
00:09:31,236 --> 00:09:32,238
I'm glad you don't.

163
00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:35,075
It's just,
what if someone thinks you're me?

164
00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:37,409
Sounds like somebody cares.

165
00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:38,495
I don't.

166
00:09:38,577 --> 00:09:40,038
I'm just worried about Jub-Jub.

167
00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:41,831
I've never seen him so upset.

168
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,250
Patty's out of control.

169
00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:47,586
First, she gets a ridiculous haircut.

170
00:09:47,669 --> 00:09:51,381
And did I tell you what condiments
she got on the TV remote?

171
00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:53,509
Yes, but Lisa hasn't heard yet.

172
00:09:53,592 --> 00:09:54,969
Why don't you tell her?

173
00:09:55,052 --> 00:09:56,596
Under the bus, huh, Mom?

174
00:09:56,678 --> 00:09:59,307
It was ketchup,
mustard and honey mustard.

175
00:09:59,389 --> 00:10:00,517
Mind if I smoke?

176
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,893
Again, yes.

177
00:10:01,975 --> 00:10:05,187
It sounds like you're going through
a really tough time, Aunt Selma.

178
00:10:05,270 --> 00:10:08,524
You have no idea what it's
like living your whole life

179
00:10:08,607 --> 00:10:12,445
with a sibling whose only
joy is making you miserable.

180
00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:15,405
Actually,
I know exactly what that's like.

181
00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:18,033
Patty's always stunting
my personal growth.

182
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:21,745
I even stopped dating because she
resented whenever I made a connection.

183
00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:22,831
Interesting.

184
00:10:22,913 --> 00:10:27,210
Well, maybe it's time to dust
off your online dating profile.

185
00:10:30,421 --> 00:10:32,215
How old is that photo?

186
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:33,799
It's not that old.

187
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:36,594
You're at a Howard Johnson's.

188
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,974
Well, if you want
the most bang for your hole,

189
00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:43,058
I'd suggest we do your tragus.

190
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,977
It's the third sexiest part of the ear.

191
00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:46,312
Oh, gross.

192
00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:47,437
You gotta do that one.

193
00:10:47,522 --> 00:10:50,399
If Bart says it's a go, it's a go.

194
00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:52,610
Oh. One more thing.

195
00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:54,946
You don't have a fear
of extreme pain, do you?

196
00:10:55,028 --> 00:10:58,448
No, I have a fear of stupid questions.

197
00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:00,118
I think I'm gonna enjoy this.

198
00:11:04,538 --> 00:11:05,831
Awesome!

199
00:11:05,914 --> 00:11:06,916
Oh.

200
00:11:11,086 --> 00:11:12,087
Uh.

201
00:11:13,630 --> 00:11:15,549
- Who the hell are you?
- Merle.

202
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:19,928
I'm your sister's new nighttime friend,
and you must be the infamous twin.

203
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:22,514
Did you sleep over?

204
00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:24,683
Well, I didn't break in.

205
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:25,894
Can I make you some eggs?

206
00:11:25,976 --> 00:11:30,273
It's a special recipe, same one
they serve in the JFK Delta Lounge.

207
00:11:30,355 --> 00:11:33,525
- I see you've met the what's-his-face.
- Merle!

208
00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:35,736
We've got only two rules here.

209
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:42,159
MacGyver every Sunday and no unvetted
Merles without the approval of both twins.

210
00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:47,664
I have no twin anymore, ever since
she weed-whacked half her head.

211
00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:50,876
This may be my infected tragus talking,

212
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,504
but I'm done with this, all of this.

213
00:11:53,587 --> 00:11:56,173
I hope you like tarragon.

214
00:11:56,256 --> 00:11:59,719
At least my life coach
isn't a ten-year-old boy.

215
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:03,096
Every second I'm around you,
I feel like I'm in prison.

216
00:12:03,181 --> 00:12:05,725
That's the one thing we have in common.

217
00:12:05,807 --> 00:12:06,893
I'm outta here.

218
00:12:06,975 --> 00:12:08,644
Have a nice life.

219
00:12:08,727 --> 00:12:10,480
Big relationship question.

220
00:12:10,562 --> 00:12:12,105
Eggs runny or dry?

221
00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:14,609
I can live with either,
but I gotta know now.

222
00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:16,485
Selma, calm down.

223
00:12:16,568 --> 00:12:18,947
What do you mean Patty moved out?

224
00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:21,115
Patty's gone? Where'd she go?

225
00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:24,911
She said she's going to the place
where she'll finally be happy

226
00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:27,120
and she's never coming back.

227
00:12:43,303 --> 00:12:45,139
I should've done this years ago.

228
00:12:45,222 --> 00:12:46,890
I feel so free.

229
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,725
This is a queer paradise.

230
00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:50,979
We have slurs for straight people here

231
00:12:51,062 --> 00:12:55,942
and the obscene amount of water
wasted keeping this place green...

232
00:12:56,859 --> 00:12:58,318
I love it.

233
00:12:58,403 --> 00:13:00,196
But what are you going to do for work?

234
00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:01,572
I already got a job.

235
00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:04,325
There's a high demand here
for somebody like myself

236
00:13:04,408 --> 00:13:08,203
with experience in government
regulatory enforcement.

237
00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:16,546
So you're applying to change a kitchen
faucet in your 1948 Albert Frey house.

238
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:21,341
We found a perfect match to the original
Pfister center set hammered copper faucet.

239
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:24,428
Hmm. I'm not seeing patina.

240
00:13:24,511 --> 00:13:27,347
Y-Yeah, that's because it's new,
but with time...

241
00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:29,933
Time is a luxury you do not have.

242
00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:36,399
Let me just taste your tiramisu.

243
00:13:36,481 --> 00:13:37,899
Looks so good.

244
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:40,320
Sorry, I don't have an extra spoon.

245
00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:42,363
I don't mind. I'll just use yours.

246
00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:51,080
Give me the check!

247
00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:56,711
A Costington's store credit card.

248
00:13:56,793 --> 00:13:59,963
Oh, no. Homer,
that rewards program is a joke.

249
00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:03,134
But lucky for you, I'm something
of a credit card points guru.

250
00:14:03,216 --> 00:14:06,636
I'm gonna get you into
a premium platinum card.

251
00:14:06,721 --> 00:14:10,099
I-I know you're going to have a little
sticker shock at the annual fee,

252
00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:12,643
but you'll forget all about
that once you're relaxing

253
00:14:12,726 --> 00:14:17,148
in airport lounges with all the
meatballs you can fit on a 4-inch plate.

254
00:14:17,230 --> 00:14:18,941
He's one of those points guys.

255
00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:20,985
I don't want my money to work for me.

256
00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:24,279
So how much would you say you're
spending on flights and hotels a month?

257
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:29,701
Oh, I thought
things would be much better

258
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:32,370
now that Patty's moved
to Bed Death Valley,

259
00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:37,125
but this Merle guy, and I don't
say this lightly, is a rough hang.

260
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:43,298
Well, Selma seems happy, and Patty seems
like she's thriving in Palm Springfield,

261
00:14:43,381 --> 00:14:46,427
and what's more important than seeming?

262
00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:49,931
Mom, Lisa and I have gotten closer to
our aunts over the past couple weeks,

263
00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:52,432
and we don't think
they're doing so good.

264
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:54,143
But seems.

265
00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:56,520
I think Selma's just
pretending to like Merle.

266
00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:59,231
She makes him go to Starbucks
to use the bathroom,

267
00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:02,110
and she makes him sleep
on the porch of her building.

268
00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:04,195
He's like her outdoor cat.

269
00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:08,615
Yeah, and based on her social media,
I don't think Aunt Patty's much better.

270
00:15:11,952 --> 00:15:13,203
Oh.

271
00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:16,999
The superficial fixes didn't
go nearly as deep as I hoped.

272
00:15:17,082 --> 00:15:20,836
How can I be happy when
my sisters are so sad?

273
00:15:20,919 --> 00:15:22,547
Don't worry, we have a plan.

274
00:15:22,629 --> 00:15:24,673
Patty posted that she's going
to a ladies' golf tournament

275
00:15:24,756 --> 00:15:26,174
this weekend in Palm Springfield.

276
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:27,467
They both love golf.

277
00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:29,470
Patty loves how fit the ladies are.

278
00:15:29,553 --> 00:15:31,847
Selma loves how unfit the guys are,

279
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:35,100
so we parent-trap them into
going to the same tournament.

280
00:15:35,183 --> 00:15:36,852
Then we fix it so they
run into each other

281
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:39,730
and they'll realize all
their problems are dumb.

282
00:15:39,813 --> 00:15:41,941
Oh. The tournament's sold out.

283
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:45,403
The only tickets left are
in the Amex VIP lounge.

284
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:50,740
As someone who's already dead,
it kills me to say this.

285
00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:54,953
There is one way into
the Amex VIP lounge.

286
00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:56,496
Amex?

287
00:15:56,581 --> 00:15:57,789
No problem.

288
00:15:57,874 --> 00:16:01,293
We all sign up for Air
Shelbyville credit cards for,

289
00:16:01,376 --> 00:16:06,173
you can't believe they're being so dumb,
a 100K bonus miles each.

290
00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:08,216
Then we take a short
flight to Sioux Falls

291
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:11,428
which will skyrocket us
to the diamond-mile tier,

292
00:16:11,511 --> 00:16:15,432
which we will immediately transfer
to Comfort Lodge Discover Plus cards.

293
00:16:15,515 --> 00:16:18,852
After just one night in their
guaranteed suites program,

294
00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:22,148
we are earning 5x, 10x,
the multiples are insane.

295
00:16:22,230 --> 00:16:25,109
And then we bring it all home
by booking a hot air balloon,

296
00:16:25,192 --> 00:16:29,322
prime rib adventure for 20 people
and then immediately canceling it.

297
00:16:29,404 --> 00:16:31,908
And that will get Homer
to one million points

298
00:16:31,990 --> 00:16:37,663
or tickets to the Subaru
Dr. Martens LPGA Tournament,

299
00:16:37,746 --> 00:16:41,417
VIP Amex Lounge.

300
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,461
Merle, I gotta give it up to you.

301
00:16:43,543 --> 00:16:45,587
That was a hell of a points heist.

302
00:16:47,756 --> 00:16:50,217
I'm sorry, sir,
but it says here you're dead.

303
00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:51,302
That's correct.

304
00:16:51,384 --> 00:16:52,470
Well, we can't let you in.

305
00:16:52,552 --> 00:16:55,472
All your tickets are void because
the cardholder is deceased.

306
00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:57,182
Merle, what do we do?

307
00:16:57,265 --> 00:17:00,937
Well, I've run across this issue
on a hotel points comment thread,

308
00:17:01,019 --> 00:17:04,022
and I'm afraid you're going to
need to be alive again, Homer.

309
00:17:04,105 --> 00:17:05,316
No, no, no.

310
00:17:05,398 --> 00:17:09,153
Now that I've tasted the sweet release
of death, I don't want to live.

311
00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:10,904
How much longer do I have?

312
00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:13,156
I'm sorry, but you're out of time.

313
00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:17,161
Please, Homer.

314
00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:19,997
Patty and Selma are my closest family.

315
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:21,082
I get it.

316
00:17:21,164 --> 00:17:24,794
I also know how hard it's been
being a widow with three kids.

317
00:17:24,876 --> 00:17:29,965
Marge, you're the only person in the world
I'd be willing to lay down my death for.

318
00:17:30,590 --> 00:17:32,425
Hey, Aunt Selma, quick photo.

319
00:17:43,895 --> 00:17:45,480
Okay, Bart, you're a go.

320
00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:49,151
- Patty, look. It's Cynthia Nixon.
- Hey, Aunt Selma.

321
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:51,487
You'll get an even better
view of Nelly Korda

322
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:54,115
if you take three big steps backwards.

323
00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:57,117
I assume this was your idea.

324
00:17:57,201 --> 00:18:01,329
Another in your long list
of stupid life decisions.

325
00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:02,539
No, it wasn't.

326
00:18:02,623 --> 00:18:06,419
And I wish the triplet we
absorbed in the womb was you.

327
00:18:06,501 --> 00:18:09,297
You've always been jealous
that I'm the hot one.

328
00:18:16,761 --> 00:18:18,471
It's their secret twin language.

329
00:18:18,556 --> 00:18:21,224
They haven't used it since
they were little kids.

330
00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:23,352
What's happening down there in hole one?

331
00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:25,730
It appears two aging spinsters' decades

332
00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:28,691
of repressed conflict has suddenly
broken through to the surface.

333
00:18:28,773 --> 00:18:29,775
Yep.

334
00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:34,488
Two more casualties of this notoriously
difficult Jack Nicklaus-designed par five.

335
00:18:37,157 --> 00:18:39,535
Stop. Stop. Please stop it!

336
00:18:40,076 --> 00:18:43,998
It used to be you two
against the world and Homer.

337
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:50,171
What if this, what you two have, is the
one truly great relationship in your life?

338
00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:56,384
Patty, do you actually like
living here in Palm Springfield?

339
00:18:57,317 --> 00:18:59,305
Okay, fine.

340
00:18:59,387 --> 00:19:00,931
I hate it here.

341
00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:03,768
Who moves to the desert when
they're having hot flashes?

342
00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:06,144
And the brunch lines. Oho!

343
00:19:06,914 --> 00:19:09,898
I put my name on the list two days ago.

344
00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:13,778
And, Selma,
do you really want to be with Merle?

345
00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:16,655
No, I'm miserable!

346
00:19:16,739 --> 00:19:21,618
The sex is fine, but the endless
cuddling after is killing me.

347
00:19:21,701 --> 00:19:22,827
I'm a cuddler.

348
00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:26,665
Sex to me is foreplay.
Cuddling is the main event.

349
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:30,670
Is it possible we've been
twins for our whole lives,

350
00:19:30,752 --> 00:19:33,838
but we've never had a
real honest conversation?

351
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:37,509
We know twin talk,
but we gotta work on our sister talk.

352
00:19:38,635 --> 00:19:39,636
Uh.

353
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:40,887
I love you.

354
00:19:40,971 --> 00:19:42,347
I love you too.

355
00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:43,848
We need you back at work.

356
00:19:43,932 --> 00:19:45,684
Wait times are lower than ever,

357
00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:48,436
and no one's better than you
at catching the dirty words

358
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:51,190
people try to sneak
on their vanity plates.

359
00:19:51,272 --> 00:19:52,357
See?

360
00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:57,195
Actually, that one's
just Mr. Burns's eighth car.

361
00:19:57,278 --> 00:19:59,531
This is why we need you.

362
00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:02,242
All right,
I'll come back to Springfield,

363
00:20:02,326 --> 00:20:05,538
but I think it's time that we
each get our own apartment.

364
00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:06,622
Mm-hmm.

365
00:21:25,258 --> 00:21:26,259
Shh!

366
00:21:29,133 --> 00:21:32,076
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