1 00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:09,009 Children, you've been extra good, 2 00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:11,929 so you've earned a very special field trip. 3 00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:15,933 Get ready for the best day of your lives at the Waterpark… 4 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:22,856 - …Museum of Late Victorian Textiles. 5 00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:28,445 I saw the word "waterpark" and got too excited to read the rest. 6 00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:35,369 The entrance hall carpet is a reproduction of an original 7 00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:39,039 that Mr. Waterpark saw on a trip to Utrecht. 8 00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:41,208 Any guesses as to its ornamentation? 9 00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:43,794 Anyone? 10 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,712 Wilton. It's a Wilton pattern. 11 00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:49,132 You're the first person that's ever gotten that. 12 00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:52,636 And a docent never forgets her first. 13 00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:56,765 Ew. 14 00:00:56,848 --> 00:00:59,184 Kids, you've seen the foyer. 15 00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:02,980 Now let's visit the demi-foyer. 16 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:08,652 Well, there's only one cure for this type of boredom. 17 00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:12,030 A Gilded Age home invasion. 18 00:01:13,657 --> 00:01:15,742 Nope. Nope. 19 00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:16,827 Nope. 20 00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:20,330 Ugh. There's gotta be something fun in this dust dungeon. 21 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,082 Hmm? 22 00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:26,461 - Whoa. - [♪ dramatic music plays] 23 00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:30,799 Something. 24 00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:36,346 Don't be afraid to feel the perforations on this Edwardian sable felt. 25 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,265 I'm not afraid. 26 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:41,602 Psst. 27 00:01:43,979 --> 00:01:46,857 Something. 28 00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:56,908 I'm making it snow over the lighthouse in St. Augustine. 29 00:02:00,746 --> 00:02:02,706 Snow globe fight! 30 00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:07,794 Hmm, this brocade. 31 00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:10,839 I've never felt such a luxurious warp. 32 00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:11,840 Twiddle the weft. 33 00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:14,051 Eat globe! 34 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,469 My charges. 35 00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:26,480 This horseplay stops now. 36 00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:28,065 Globes down. 37 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,816 - Heads-up. - Raise my head? 38 00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,401 Heard and understood. 39 00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:39,159 Oh, these past weeks have been difficult. 40 00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:42,037 Five eyeball surgeries. Two lid grafts. 41 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,498 Now I have rods, but no cones. 42 00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:45,957 But I have a purpose. 43 00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:50,754 Even though it's the last day before spring break, I had to come back 44 00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:54,883 so I could say the words every principal dreams of saying. 45 00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:56,968 You are garbage parents. 46 00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:58,553 Garbage parents? 47 00:02:58,637 --> 00:02:59,888 Even me? 48 00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:03,475 Yes, both of you spawned that snow-globe-hurling monster. 49 00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:06,978 He said, "Heads-up." 50 00:03:07,062 --> 00:03:08,980 And I raised my head accordingly. 51 00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:14,236 Please, Principal Skinner. 52 00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:17,030 Bart's not a bad kid. 53 00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:20,784 If only you could see my special little guy the way I do. 54 00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:23,328 Come on, Marge. Bart's the devil, and you know it. 55 00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:26,373 Anyway, it's your fault for taking an amped-up psycho like that 56 00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:27,541 to a water park. 57 00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:29,668 It wasn't a water park. 58 00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:33,880 Oh, I didn't read past the first word on the permission slip. 59 00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:35,507 All you parents are the same. 60 00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:38,760 Take credit when your kids succeed and make excuses when they fail. 61 00:03:38,844 --> 00:03:39,970 It's disgusting. 62 00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:41,471 It's because of parents like you that… 63 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:44,516 …I hate children! 64 00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:51,106 Disregard. Have a nice spring break. 65 00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:54,109 Mother, I'm home. 66 00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:56,820 Dear Seymour, 67 00:03:56,903 --> 00:04:00,240 I'm sorry I didn't visit you in the hospital. 68 00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:03,535 Oh. No mother wants to see her son… 69 00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:05,036 period. 70 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,289 I'm going to Atlantic City with Jasper. 71 00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:12,210 It'll be a month of nonstop poker, and we might get some card playing in too. 72 00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:13,545 Wink, wink. 73 00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:14,546 Ha! 74 00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:16,798 Must be nice to be able to wink. 75 00:04:16,882 --> 00:04:17,883 Just as well. 76 00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:20,802 I have a whole spring break to do what I wanna do. 77 00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:26,975 Ah. Textbook requisition forms and room temperature Mr. Pibb. 78 00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:28,727 This is the high life. 79 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:31,271 Who goes there? 80 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,025 That's no who. 81 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,359 It's a what. 82 00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:42,073 Go away. I'm about to score with my wife. 83 00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:44,117 But there's a creature loose in the school. 84 00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:46,203 Why didn't you say so, man? 85 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:49,956 Our Scottish Scrabble game can wait. 86 00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,960 Now go kill a frightened, defenseless animal 87 00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:56,421 that stumbled into the world of man. 88 00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:13,021 The creature. 89 00:05:24,783 --> 00:05:28,995 I'm a ghost of a kid who died long ago 90 00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:33,250 when kids used to die all the time. 91 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,626 A specter! 92 00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:37,671 Those weren't dog bones I found in the sandbox! 93 00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:41,007 You're no apparition. You've been living in my library. 94 00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:43,009 Living in a library? 95 00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:46,513 That's sick, man. How can you say that to a little kid? 96 00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:48,431 Now get off my lawn. 97 00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:50,934 A student holing up in the school. 98 00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:52,936 How can I live this down? 99 00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:56,731 A blemish like this on my permanent record. 100 00:05:56,815 --> 00:06:00,193 What the hell is coming out of your eyes, you freak? 101 00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:01,987 It's whimsical snow. 102 00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:07,993 I recognize you. Your name is Hub. 103 00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:09,119 You're a student here. 104 00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:12,998 This blatant infraction is going directly into your file. 105 00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:16,251 Well, good luck with that, sparkle tears. I'm not in there. 106 00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:18,461 You're not enrolled? But I've seen you. 107 00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,171 You're in Ms. Peyton's class. 108 00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:21,631 One of those kids that sits in the back 109 00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:25,176 between Eyeglasses Girl and Bucktooth Boy and never speaks. 110 00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:27,888 Good Lord. You've been pretending to be a student 111 00:06:27,971 --> 00:06:29,598 so you could live at the school. 112 00:06:29,681 --> 00:06:31,558 So you could live at the school. 113 00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:33,059 Live at the school. 114 00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:37,439 …school. 115 00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:38,690 Where are your parents? 116 00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:39,941 Where are your parents? 117 00:06:40,025 --> 00:06:41,860 My mother's with Jasper, 118 00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:45,447 and my father's ashes are in a bag in the upstairs sewing room. 119 00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:46,531 Now come clean. 120 00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:48,825 Seymour, what the devil is going on? 121 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:50,243 Look out! It's your pimp. 122 00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:51,745 He's not my pimp. 123 00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:54,539 I've got this, sir. I'm calling Child Services. 124 00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:56,708 You do, and I will cut you like a bitch. 125 00:06:57,959 --> 00:07:01,963 If the state learns a runaway child has been squatting here, 126 00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:06,092 they'll turn this school into a Spirit Halloween store, okay? 127 00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:08,428 You keep this child under your supervision 128 00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:11,348 until you locate his family and return him to them. 129 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,183 I'm going back to bed. 130 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,978 The next time I see you, you better have my money… 131 00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:20,690 requisition forms for next year's textbooks. 132 00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:23,568 You can tell he really values you. 133 00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:27,072 Don't get comfortable. You're only here till I find your parents. 134 00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:31,159 Look, Principal Skinner, you're not going to find them. They're dead. 135 00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:33,662 Oh, my Lord. I'm so sorry. 136 00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:34,746 It was horrible. 137 00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:37,957 Their hot-air balloon drifted over North Korea on Kim Jong-Un's birthday 138 00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:40,293 and was hit by a celebratory ICBM. 139 00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:42,587 - Outright fibbery! 140 00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:45,632 Oh, my God. You are so dumb. 141 00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,842 How did you live this long? 142 00:07:47,926 --> 00:07:50,387 You don't give me respect, then you don't get any. 143 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:53,306 You are not leaving Mother's sewing room until… 144 00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:58,269 Give me strength, Papa. 145 00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:00,939 Get back in here. 146 00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,733 Aw. But I was gonna go out and find America. 147 00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:09,030 This was fun, but I gotta go. You've been a great host. 148 00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:10,615 Five stars. 149 00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:15,704 It's time to swallow my pride and ask for help. 150 00:08:17,539 --> 00:08:20,333 Marge, a man is here. 151 00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:21,459 Principal Skinner? 152 00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:23,712 Did you come to yell at us again? 153 00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:25,505 Mr. and Mrs. Simpson. 154 00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:27,966 I come to you hat in hand. 155 00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:30,844 I've never had to deal with a child 156 00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:34,139 outside the hours of 8:10 to 2:45. 157 00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:38,560 I need your advice. How do I handle this handful? 158 00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:44,023 You're asking us? The garbage parents? 159 00:08:44,107 --> 00:08:47,152 But we spawned a monster. 160 00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:53,324 One day with a kid, and he's already broken. 161 00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:57,412 And now he needs our help. 162 00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:03,585 Please. I'm desperate. 163 00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:07,255 Oh, my God. Oh, that's so sweet. 164 00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:10,425 Okay, okay. Where's the kid now? 165 00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:13,094 In my house. I hired Nelson to sit. 166 00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:15,889 I'm cold. Can you turn the heat up? 167 00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:16,973 You're the client. 168 00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:22,854 Please. I'm at my wits' end. I need your help with Hub. 169 00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:25,065 Okay, because you begged nicely, 170 00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:28,777 we'll share a couple of nuggets of parental wisdom. 171 00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:32,489 Sometimes, challenging kids just wanna be recognized. 172 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:36,493 Find what the little miracle is interested in and encourage it. 173 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:40,371 Be a hard-ass. Every day should be like his first day in prison, 174 00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:43,208 and he's all alone in the yard without a shiv. 175 00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:44,709 Flood him with hugs. 176 00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:45,960 Crush his spirit. 177 00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,879 Give him a shoulder to cry on. 178 00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:49,297 Quit your crying! 179 00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:51,007 Tell him he's loved. 180 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:54,219 Tell him he's lucky to be alive. Nourish his creativity. 181 00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:56,096 Lock him in a dog crate. 182 00:09:58,014 --> 00:10:01,226 Good Lord. Someone could slip on this watery plastic. 183 00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:02,977 Or worse, slide. 184 00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:04,646 Wet orphan coming through. 185 00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:06,272 Whoa, whoa! 186 00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:08,441 Whoa, whoa! 187 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:14,030 Oh. Uh-oh. We meet again, Darth Tedious. 188 00:10:15,573 --> 00:10:20,328 Give this kid a break. His parents died on the Titanic. 189 00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:26,501 Good afternoon, Seymour. 190 00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:28,253 Here for your usual? 191 00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:31,965 Oh, no, thank you, Phillip. 192 00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:35,593 We need to get this ragamuffin some respectable schoolboy clothes. 193 00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:41,766 Hmm. Perhaps a poplin pullover and corduroy perma-crease slacks. 194 00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:01,536 Will you get on with it? 195 00:11:02,954 --> 00:11:05,707 By Doug Henning's mustache. He's escaped. 196 00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:11,588 Hub! 197 00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:20,221 - There you are. 198 00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:23,516 - Come out of there right now. - Make me. 199 00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:30,982 There's no lifeguard. Hang on, boy. 200 00:11:48,499 --> 00:11:50,960 You saved me. 201 00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:54,255 All I've done is say mean stuff to you, run away 202 00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:57,800 and scratch up all your records where dogs bark Christmas carols. 203 00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:00,470 It's fine. Those dogs are long dead anyway. 204 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,805 It's not like I can go see them in concert again. 205 00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:05,308 But of course I saved you. You were in danger. 206 00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:06,517 Thanks, Seymour. 207 00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:10,605 In all my years as a principal, I've… I've never been hugged. 208 00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:13,191 I feel like I'm floating on air. 209 00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:24,786 Well, that's marvelous. You're very talented. 210 00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,371 Look out, Perry Como. 211 00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:29,040 Oh. I like how you know people I've never heard of. 212 00:12:29,123 --> 00:12:32,043 Ah, spoken like a young Mort Sahl. 213 00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:55,400 Well, so ends the first spring break where I actually had fun. 214 00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:58,736 Well, I suppose I must resume the hunt for your parents. 215 00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:00,738 Oh, well, good luck with that. 216 00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:02,782 They were on a Japanese game show 217 00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:05,493 and they drowned in a giant toilet full of salmon roe. 218 00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:09,664 You and your fantastical falsehoods. 219 00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:13,626 Well, catch you later. Time to lone-wolf it again. 220 00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:16,004 Returning to the background. 221 00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:22,927 Nourish his creativity. 222 00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:26,139 Nope. No talent. Tone deaf. 223 00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:29,892 Dance, ten. Looks, three. Ooh, Principal Skinner. 224 00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:33,062 Dewey, you've got one more auditionee. 225 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,940 I don't wanna be in some stupid bunny musical. 226 00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:39,068 I thought we were cool. I went to see Laser Beethoven with you. 227 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:42,864 The weird smoke there made me fall asleep. Don't make me do this. 228 00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:45,658 Be a hard-ass. Make him do it. 229 00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:48,244 If you don't, I will. 230 00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:50,580 I'm not giving you the choice. 231 00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,832 You're a talented kid with untapped potential. 232 00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:54,292 Now get up there and audition. 233 00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:59,047 Why did I make Hub audition? 234 00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:02,258 He's probably dying of embarrassment in there. 235 00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:04,010 Seymour, you're a fool. 236 00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:08,389 You have a master's degree in education, but the parenting skills of a basketball. 237 00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:14,604 - I'm sorry, Hub. - Okay, I tried out like you said. 238 00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:15,688 They hated me. 239 00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,399 For being so awesome. 240 00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:21,152 I'm playing Farmer McGregor. I'm in three scenes. 241 00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:22,361 One with Peter Rabbit. 242 00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:24,363 Aw! 243 00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:27,366 I did it. I'm parenting, and I'm good at it. 244 00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:31,913 How do you like me now, Spalding Dirk Nowitzki autograph special? 245 00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:39,879 Okay, daffodils, daffodils. Spring has sprung. 246 00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:41,297 Peter Rabbit comes out. 247 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,050 And cue Farmer McGregor. 248 00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:46,677 Who's been eating my carrots? 249 00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:48,179 Exit McGregor. 250 00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:51,974 Peter Rabbit launches into his big number, "I've Been Eating the Carrots." 251 00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:54,143 That's it? That's all you got for Hub? 252 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,228 It's not all. 253 00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:57,688 He sweeps up the bandannas after the hoedown scene. 254 00:14:57,772 --> 00:15:00,358 Dewey, I'm starting to think you lack the vision 255 00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:02,068 to make these characters come to life. 256 00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:05,655 And you could do better? Fine. Here's the headset. 257 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:08,533 You want it? Take it, take it. Just— Just take it. 258 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:14,580 Well, cast, um, who's ready to go on a ride with me 259 00:15:14,664 --> 00:15:17,834 as we explore the depths of our new protagonist, 260 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,585 - Farmer McGregor? - [♪ piano riff plays] 261 00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:23,214 Okay, so, the thing you guys don't get about Farmer McGregor 262 00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:27,426 is he's the best actor in the world, and you're just a bunch of dumb animals. 263 00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:28,761 Now, let's have fun with this. 264 00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:30,805 What the hell is this? 265 00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:32,974 Farmer McGregor only has three lines 266 00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:36,644 and two of them are, "Here comes Peter Rabbit." Me. 267 00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:37,728 We're gonna fix that. 268 00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:41,983 Lisa Simpson, I need a rewrite by third period tomorrow. 269 00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:45,528 Beef up the McGregor character. Explore his inner world. 270 00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:47,780 Give Hub something worthy of his talents. 271 00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:49,282 Fix the script. 272 00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:52,034 I get to be every eight-year-old girl's hero: 273 00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,953 Steven Zaillian. 274 00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:58,791 Milhouse is a joy to have in the room. 275 00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:03,880 He just needs to stop practicing his kissing on female lunch box images. 276 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:06,007 You hear that, Luann? Female. 277 00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:12,221 These thin-skinned parents unable to handle the slightest feedback 278 00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:15,308 about their perfect children. Who's next? 279 00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:19,812 That would be Hub, but his parents didn't sign up for the conference, so… 280 00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:21,230 I'll stand in for them. 281 00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:24,984 Okay, well, I-I can get to Hub's strengths in a sec, 282 00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:27,570 but I'll start with some of his stretches. 283 00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,655 Well, that won't take long. 284 00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:34,118 Yes, he used to be so quiet and unassuming, 285 00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:39,457 but now that he's starring in the play, he's become a bit of a show-off. 286 00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:42,251 You're fired. 287 00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:45,296 But I… No, no, I-I'm merely pointing out that Hub— 288 00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:47,506 Is coming into his own. 289 00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:49,634 He's talented. He's a supernova. 290 00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:52,720 What are you? A fourth-grade teacher in a failing school? 291 00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:54,931 And this boy is an orphan. 292 00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:59,352 His parents both had Benjamin Button disease and died as 85-year-old babies. 293 00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:00,770 Hmm. That's another thing. 294 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,980 Hub has a tendency to… 295 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,024 lie. 296 00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:06,275 He's an actor. 297 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,486 Actors lie for a living. That's their art. 298 00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:11,113 Don't you dare say another harsh word about my… 299 00:17:11,822 --> 00:17:15,034 - Hub. - Seymour, you are his principal, 300 00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:16,869 not his father. 301 00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,705 Of course. You're right. 302 00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:22,041 You've given me a lot to think about. 303 00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:31,133 Excellent, Willie. Forty down, 360 to go. 304 00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:34,470 Ooh. Look who's coming to town. Hub. 305 00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,645 Well, this is your big night. 306 00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,730 They're all here to see you. 307 00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:47,275 And I'm ready to bring the thunder. 308 00:17:47,358 --> 00:17:49,652 Look out, theatergoers, here comes… 309 00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:53,030 Holy crud. 310 00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:54,156 Butterflies, eh? 311 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,867 From Brando to Balki, all the great ones get 'em. 312 00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:00,580 Break a leg, son. 313 00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:13,467 Peter Rabbit is dead. 314 00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:15,553 Who will save the farm? 315 00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:19,015 - [♪ drum roll] McGregor. McGregor. 316 00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:25,187 That's your cue, Olivier. 317 00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:27,523 Hub! 318 00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:30,526 The adoption. 319 00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:31,986 I spooked him. 320 00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:33,863 Hub, wait. Come back. 321 00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:36,032 Dad! 322 00:18:36,699 --> 00:18:39,827 He called me Dad. He wants me to adopt him. 323 00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:42,788 Son, you just made me the happiest… 324 00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:44,123 What are you doing here? 325 00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:46,083 We're your parents. That's what. 326 00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:50,046 Ha-ha! You thought he was running to you. 327 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:51,672 Your mother dances for coupons, 328 00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:54,759 and your father has a second family he loves more than you. 329 00:18:56,594 --> 00:18:57,803 How did you find me? 330 00:18:57,887 --> 00:19:02,016 Your face is on every light pole from here to Ogdenville. 331 00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:04,560 I… I don't understand. 332 00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:05,645 We don't either. 333 00:19:05,728 --> 00:19:08,856 You've got some explaining to do, Alexander Hubley. 334 00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:12,026 Mom and Dad dumped me at boarding school 335 00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:15,321 with a bunch of other snooty jerks with rich parents who don't give a crap. 336 00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:19,325 I couldn't take it, so I bailed and came to Springfield. I liked it here. 337 00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:22,203 And now we've found you. 338 00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:24,330 Yeah, well, it only took you like five months. 339 00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:27,583 We're sorry, son. Come on. Let's go home. 340 00:19:30,378 --> 00:19:32,129 Uh, ladies and gentlemen, uh, 341 00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:35,966 due to an administrator getting his heart broken into a million pieces, 342 00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:38,010 we are canceling the play. 343 00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:42,515 Yeah, I hear your cheers of disappointment, 344 00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:45,685 but, unfortunately, we have lost our Farmer McGregor. 345 00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:47,561 No, you haven't. 346 00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,858 A farmer rises with the sun, 347 00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:54,652 coaxing life out of the earth 348 00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:57,488 and nourishing the beasts under his dominion. 349 00:19:57,988 --> 00:20:00,991 But I wanna talk about one particular creature on my farm. 350 00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:04,704 A wayward mouse who had been abandoned by his rich mouse parents 351 00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:06,163 at an elite boarding farm. 352 00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:09,417 Wait, I didn't write any of this mouse junk. 353 00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:12,503 You didn't write anything. You just ran the room. 354 00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:15,756 Picking good stuff is just as hard as creating good stuff. 355 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:19,844 The mouse ran away and hid in the barn, blending in with the other animals, 356 00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:22,263 afraid to call attention to himself. 357 00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:24,140 Then, a kind old mouse found him. 358 00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:26,600 He shared with him the cheese of encouragement. 359 00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:29,603 And with that, the mouse spread his wings 360 00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:33,357 and became a magnificent Mr. Pibb-drinking butterfly. 361 00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:37,445 But now, the little mouse has to leave, 362 00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:41,157 and he'll never forget the kind older mouse who believed in him, 363 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:44,285 allowing him to see more. 364 00:20:51,542 --> 00:20:54,420 Your son is terrific. 365 00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:55,504 - Thank you. - Thank you. 366 00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:58,674 That's not my boy. 367 00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:18,360 Okay, guys, let's focus. 368 00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:21,989 Again, how does McGregor lose the farm at the end of the first act? 369 00:21:22,573 --> 00:21:24,909 Anyone? Anything! 370 00:21:24,992 --> 00:21:26,494 How about this? 371 00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:30,664 McGregor comes home, house gone, rabbits everywhere, 372 00:21:30,748 --> 00:21:32,792 and he says… 373 00:21:32,875 --> 00:21:35,461 Don't start a sentence if you don't know where it's going! 374 00:21:35,544 --> 00:21:39,423 Okay, guess what. Now we're staying late. 375 00:21:39,507 --> 00:21:41,175 What do you guys want for dinner? 376 00:21:41,258 --> 00:21:43,177 - Corn dogs! - Dino nuggets! 377 00:21:43,260 --> 00:21:44,845 - Noodles with butter! - Tuna fish! 378 00:21:44,929 --> 00:21:48,057 - Pepperoni! - Now you've got pitches?