1 00:00:07,249 --> 00:00:08,999 Children, you've been extra good, 2 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,919 so you've earned a very special field trip. 3 00:00:11,929 --> 00:00:15,928 Get ready for the best day of your lives at the Waterpark... 4 00:00:17,929 --> 00:00:22,850 - ... Museum of Late Victorian Textiles. 5 00:00:25,100 --> 00:00:28,440 I saw the word "waterpark" and got too excited to read the rest. 6 00:00:31,190 --> 00:00:35,360 The entrance hall carpet is a reproduction of an original 7 00:00:35,370 --> 00:00:39,029 that Mr. Waterpark saw on a trip to Utrecht. 8 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:41,199 Any guesses as to its ornamentation? 9 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:43,788 Anyone? 10 00:00:43,790 --> 00:00:45,708 Wilton. It's a Wilton pattern. 11 00:00:45,709 --> 00:00:49,129 You're the first person that's ever gotten that. 12 00:00:49,129 --> 00:00:52,629 And a docent never forgets her first. 13 00:00:55,050 --> 00:00:56,759 Ew. 14 00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:59,178 Kids, you've seen the foyer. 15 00:00:59,180 --> 00:01:02,979 Now let's visit the demi-foyer. 16 00:01:05,439 --> 00:01:08,650 Well, there's only one cure for this type of boredom. 17 00:01:09,150 --> 00:01:12,029 A Gilded Age home invasion. 18 00:01:13,570 --> 00:01:15,739 Nope. Nope. 19 00:01:15,740 --> 00:01:16,818 Nope. 20 00:01:16,820 --> 00:01:20,329 Ugh. There's gotta be something fun in this dust dungeon. 21 00:01:21,079 --> 00:01:22,079 Hmm? 22 00:01:24,790 --> 00:01:26,460 - Whoa. - [♪ dramatic music plays] 23 00:01:28,790 --> 00:01:30,790 Something. 24 00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:36,339 Don't be afraid to feel the perforations on this Edwardian sable felt. 25 00:01:36,339 --> 00:01:38,260 I'm not afraid. 26 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:41,600 Psst. 27 00:01:43,889 --> 00:01:46,850 Something. 28 00:01:52,190 --> 00:01:56,900 I'm making it snow over the lighthouse in St. Augustine. 29 00:02:00,740 --> 00:02:02,698 Snow globe fight! 30 00:02:06,210 --> 00:02:07,790 Hmm, this brocade. 31 00:02:08,500 --> 00:02:10,829 I've never felt such a luxurious warp. 32 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:11,840 Twiddle the weft. 33 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,048 - Eat globe! 34 00:02:14,049 --> 00:02:15,459 My charges. 35 00:02:24,220 --> 00:02:26,478 This horseplay stops now. 36 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,059 Globes down. 37 00:02:28,059 --> 00:02:29,809 - Heads-up. - Raise my head? 38 00:02:29,809 --> 00:02:31,400 Heard and understood. 39 00:02:36,609 --> 00:02:39,150 Oh, these past weeks have been difficult. 40 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:42,029 Five eyeball surgeries. Two lid grafts. 41 00:02:42,030 --> 00:02:44,489 Now I have rods, but no cones. 42 00:02:44,489 --> 00:02:45,949 But I have a purpose. 43 00:02:46,449 --> 00:02:50,749 Even though it's the last day before spring break, I had to come back 44 00:02:50,750 --> 00:02:54,879 so I could say the words every principal dreams of saying. 45 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:56,958 You are garbage parents. 46 00:02:56,959 --> 00:02:58,549 Garbage parents? 47 00:02:58,549 --> 00:02:59,879 Even me? 48 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:03,469 Yes, both of you spawned that snow-globe-hurling monster. 49 00:03:05,139 --> 00:03:06,969 He said, "Heads-up." 50 00:03:06,970 --> 00:03:08,980 And I raised my head accordingly. 51 00:03:12,019 --> 00:03:14,228 Please, Principal Skinner. 52 00:03:14,230 --> 00:03:17,029 Bart's not a bad kid. 53 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:20,779 If only you could see my special little guy the way I do. 54 00:03:20,780 --> 00:03:23,318 Come on, Marge. Bart's the devil, and you know it. 55 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:26,369 Anyway, it's your fault for taking an amped-up psycho like that 56 00:03:26,369 --> 00:03:27,538 to a water park. 57 00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:29,659 It wasn't a water park. 58 00:03:29,660 --> 00:03:33,879 Oh, I didn't read past the first word on the permission slip. 59 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,499 All you parents are the same. 60 00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:38,758 Take credit when your kids succeed and make excuses when they fail. 61 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:39,969 It's disgusting. 62 00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:41,469 It's because of parents like you that... 63 00:03:41,470 --> 00:03:44,510 I hate children! 64 00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:51,100 Disregard. Have a nice spring break. 65 00:03:52,350 --> 00:03:54,109 Mother, I'm home. 66 00:03:55,190 --> 00:03:56,818 Dear Seymour, 67 00:03:56,820 --> 00:04:00,238 I'm sorry I didn't visit you in the hospital. 68 00:04:00,239 --> 00:04:03,530 Oh. No mother wants to see her son... 69 00:04:04,030 --> 00:04:05,030 period. 70 00:04:05,030 --> 00:04:07,280 I'm going to Atlantic City with Jasper. 71 00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:12,208 It'll be a month of nonstop poker, and we might get some card playing in too. 72 00:04:12,209 --> 00:04:13,538 Wink, wink. 73 00:04:13,540 --> 00:04:14,540 Ha! 74 00:04:14,541 --> 00:04:16,789 Must be nice to be able to wink. 75 00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:17,879 Just as well. 76 00:04:17,879 --> 00:04:20,799 I have a whole spring break to do what I wanna do. 77 00:04:22,299 --> 00:04:26,968 Ah. Textbook requisition forms and room temperature Mr. Pibb. 78 00:04:26,970 --> 00:04:28,718 This is the high life. 79 00:04:30,179 --> 00:04:31,268 Who goes there? 80 00:04:33,350 --> 00:04:35,018 That's no who. 81 00:04:35,020 --> 00:04:36,359 It's a what. 82 00:04:38,650 --> 00:04:42,068 Go away. I'm about to score with my wife. 83 00:04:42,070 --> 00:04:44,109 But there's a creature loose in the school. 84 00:04:44,700 --> 00:04:46,198 Why didn't you say so, man? 85 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:49,948 Our Scottish Scrabble game can wait. 86 00:04:51,450 --> 00:04:53,958 Now go kill a frightened, defenseless animal 87 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,419 that stumbled into the world of man. 88 00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:13,018 The creature. 89 00:05:24,780 --> 00:05:28,989 I'm a ghost of a kid who died long ago 90 00:05:28,989 --> 00:05:33,249 when kids used to die all the time. 91 00:05:33,249 --> 00:05:34,619 A specter! 92 00:05:34,619 --> 00:05:37,669 Those weren't dog bones I found in the sandbox! 93 00:05:37,669 --> 00:05:40,999 You're no apparition. You've been living in my library. 94 00:05:41,590 --> 00:05:42,999 Living in a library? 95 00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:46,508 That's sick, man. How can you say that to a little kid? 96 00:05:46,509 --> 00:05:48,429 Now get off my lawn. 97 00:05:48,429 --> 00:05:50,929 A student holing up in the school. 98 00:05:50,929 --> 00:05:52,929 How can I live this down? 99 00:05:52,929 --> 00:05:56,729 A blemish like this on my permanent record. 100 00:05:56,730 --> 00:06:00,189 What the hell is coming out of your eyes, you freak? 101 00:06:00,189 --> 00:06:01,980 It's whimsical snow. 102 00:06:04,900 --> 00:06:07,989 I recognize you. Your name is Hub. 103 00:06:07,989 --> 00:06:09,109 You're a student here. 104 00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:12,989 This blatant infraction is going directly into your file. 105 00:06:12,989 --> 00:06:16,249 Well, good luck with that, sparkle tears. I'm not in there. 106 00:06:16,249 --> 00:06:18,458 You're not enrolled? But I've seen you. 107 00:06:18,460 --> 00:06:20,169 You're in Ms. Peyton's class. 108 00:06:20,169 --> 00:06:21,629 One of those kids that sits in the back 109 00:06:21,629 --> 00:06:25,169 between Eyeglasses Girl and Bucktooth Boy and never speaks. 110 00:06:25,169 --> 00:06:27,879 Good Lord. You've been pretending to be a student 111 00:06:27,879 --> 00:06:29,588 so you could live at the school. 112 00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:31,549 So you could live at the school. 113 00:06:31,549 --> 00:06:33,049 Live at the school. 114 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:37,429 school. 115 00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:39,939 Where are your parents? 116 00:06:39,939 --> 00:06:41,859 My mother's with Jasper, 117 00:06:41,859 --> 00:06:45,439 and my father's ashes are in a bag in the upstairs sewing room. 118 00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:46,528 Now come clean. 119 00:06:46,530 --> 00:06:48,818 Seymour, what the devil is going on? 120 00:06:48,820 --> 00:06:50,239 Look out! It's your pimp. 121 00:06:50,239 --> 00:06:51,739 He's not my pimp. 122 00:06:51,739 --> 00:06:54,530 I've got this, sir. I'm calling Child Services. 123 00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:56,698 You do, and I will cut you like a bitch. 124 00:06:57,869 --> 00:07:01,958 If the state learns a runaway child has been squatting here, 125 00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:06,088 they'll turn this school into a Spirit Halloween store, okay? 126 00:07:06,090 --> 00:07:08,419 You keep this child under your supervision 127 00:07:08,419 --> 00:07:11,338 until you locate his family and return him to them. 128 00:07:11,340 --> 00:07:13,179 I'm going back to bed. 129 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,968 The next time I see you, you better have my money... 130 00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:20,689 requisition forms for next year's textbooks. 131 00:07:21,350 --> 00:07:23,559 You can tell he really values you. 132 00:07:23,559 --> 00:07:27,068 Don't get comfortable. You're only here till I find your parents. 133 00:07:27,069 --> 00:07:31,150 Look, Principal Skinner, you're not going to find them. They're dead. 134 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:33,658 Oh, my Lord. I'm so sorry. 135 00:07:33,660 --> 00:07:34,739 It was horrible. 136 00:07:34,739 --> 00:07:37,948 Their hot-air balloon drifted over North Korea on Kim Jong-Un's birthday 137 00:07:37,950 --> 00:07:40,288 and was hit by a celebratory ICBM. 138 00:07:40,290 --> 00:07:42,578 - Outright fibbery! 139 00:07:42,580 --> 00:07:45,629 Oh, my God. You are so dumb. 140 00:07:45,629 --> 00:07:47,838 How did you live this long? 141 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:50,379 You don't give me respect, then you don't get any. 142 00:07:50,379 --> 00:07:53,299 You are not leaving Mother's sewing room until... 143 00:07:56,509 --> 00:07:58,270 Give me strength, Papa. 144 00:07:58,970 --> 00:08:00,929 Get back in here. 145 00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:03,730 Aw. But I was gonna go out and find America. 146 00:08:06,270 --> 00:08:09,028 This was fun, but I gotta go. You've been a great host. 147 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,609 Five stars. 148 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:15,698 It's time to swallow my pride and ask for help. 149 00:08:17,540 --> 00:08:20,328 Marge, a man is here. 150 00:08:20,330 --> 00:08:21,450 Principal Skinner? 151 00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:23,708 Did you come to yell at us again? 152 00:08:23,710 --> 00:08:25,499 Mr. and Mrs. Simpson. 153 00:08:26,210 --> 00:08:27,960 I come to you hat in hand. 154 00:08:28,629 --> 00:08:30,838 I've never had to deal with a child 155 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:34,139 outside the hours of 8:10 to 2:45. 156 00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:38,560 I need your advice. How do I handle this handful? 157 00:08:41,389 --> 00:08:44,018 You're asking us? The garbage parents? 158 00:08:44,019 --> 00:08:47,148 But we spawned a monster. 159 00:08:50,570 --> 00:08:53,320 One day with a kid, and he's already broken. 160 00:08:55,409 --> 00:08:57,409 And now he needs our help. 161 00:09:01,830 --> 00:09:03,580 Please. I'm desperate. 162 00:09:04,170 --> 00:09:07,249 Oh, my God. Oh, that's so sweet. 163 00:09:07,249 --> 00:09:10,418 Okay, okay. Where's the kid now? 164 00:09:10,420 --> 00:09:13,089 In my house. I hired Nelson to sit. 165 00:09:13,090 --> 00:09:15,879 I'm cold. Can you turn the heat up? 166 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:16,969 You're the client. 167 00:09:19,180 --> 00:09:22,849 Please. I'm at my wits' end. I need your help with Hub. 168 00:09:22,850 --> 00:09:25,058 Okay, because you begged nicely, 169 00:09:25,060 --> 00:09:28,768 we'll share a couple of nuggets of parental wisdom. 170 00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:32,480 Sometimes, challenging kids just wanna be recognized. 171 00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:36,489 Find what the little miracle is interested in and encourage it. 172 00:09:36,489 --> 00:09:40,369 Be a hard-ass. Every day should be like his first day in prison, 173 00:09:40,369 --> 00:09:43,199 and he's all alone in the yard without a shiv. 174 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:44,700 Flood him with hugs. 175 00:09:44,710 --> 00:09:45,959 Crush his spirit. 176 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,869 Give him a shoulder to cry on. 177 00:09:47,879 --> 00:09:49,288 Quit your crying! 178 00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:50,999 Tell him he's loved. 179 00:09:50,999 --> 00:09:54,210 - Tell him he's lucky to be alive. - Nourish his creativity. 180 00:09:54,220 --> 00:09:56,090 Lock him in a dog crate. 181 00:09:58,009 --> 00:10:01,219 Good Lord. Someone could slip on this watery plastic. 182 00:10:01,220 --> 00:10:02,969 Or worse, slide. 183 00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:04,638 Wet orphan coming through. 184 00:10:04,639 --> 00:10:06,268 Whoa, whoa! 185 00:10:06,269 --> 00:10:08,440 Whoa, whoa! 186 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:14,028 Oh. Uh-oh. We meet again, Darth Tedious. 187 00:10:15,489 --> 00:10:20,320 Give this kid a break. His parents died on the Titanic. 188 00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:26,499 Good afternoon, Seymour. 189 00:10:26,499 --> 00:10:28,249 Here for your usual? 190 00:10:30,249 --> 00:10:31,959 Oh, no, thank you, Phillip. 191 00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:35,589 We need to get this ragamuffin some respectable schoolboy clothes. 192 00:10:35,590 --> 00:10:41,759 Hmm. Perhaps a poplin pullover and corduroy perma-crease slacks. 193 00:11:00,239 --> 00:11:01,529 Will you get on with it? 194 00:11:02,950 --> 00:11:05,699 By Doug Henning's mustache. He's escaped. 195 00:11:10,580 --> 00:11:11,580 Hub! 196 00:11:18,300 --> 00:11:20,220 - There you are. 197 00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:23,508 - Come out of there right now. - Make me. 198 00:11:28,389 --> 00:11:30,980 There's no lifeguard. Hang on, boy. 199 00:11:48,499 --> 00:11:50,959 You saved me. 200 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,249 All I've done is say mean stuff to you, run away 201 00:11:54,249 --> 00:11:57,798 and scratch up all your records where dogs bark Christmas carols. 202 00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,469 It's fine. Those dogs are long dead anyway. 203 00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:02,798 It's not like I can go see them in concert again. 204 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:05,298 But of course I saved you. You were in danger. 205 00:12:05,300 --> 00:12:06,509 Thanks, Seymour. 206 00:12:07,009 --> 00:12:10,599 In all my years as a principal, I've... I've never been hugged. 207 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:13,188 I feel like I'm floating on air. 208 00:12:22,239 --> 00:12:24,778 Well, that's marvelous. You're very talented. 209 00:12:24,779 --> 00:12:26,369 Look out, Perry Como. 210 00:12:26,369 --> 00:12:29,038 Oh. I like how you know people I've never heard of. 211 00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:32,038 Ah, spoken like a young Mort Sahl. 212 00:12:50,810 --> 00:12:55,398 Well, so ends the first spring break where I actually had fun. 213 00:12:55,399 --> 00:12:58,729 Well, I suppose I must resume the hunt for your parents. 214 00:12:58,730 --> 00:13:00,730 Oh, well, good luck with that. 215 00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:02,778 They were on a Japanese game show 216 00:13:02,779 --> 00:13:05,489 and they drowned in a giant toilet full of salmon roe. 217 00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:09,658 You and your fantastical falsehoods. 218 00:13:09,659 --> 00:13:13,619 Well, catch you later. Time to lone-wolf it again. 219 00:13:13,619 --> 00:13:15,999 Returning to the background. 220 00:13:20,749 --> 00:13:22,920 Nourish his creativity. 221 00:13:24,170 --> 00:13:26,129 Nope. No talent. Tone deaf. 222 00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:29,888 Dance, ten. Looks, three. Ooh, Principal Skinner. 223 00:13:29,889 --> 00:13:33,058 Dewey, you've got one more auditionee. 224 00:13:33,060 --> 00:13:35,939 I don't wanna be in some stupid bunny musical. 225 00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:39,058 I thought we were cool. I went to see Laser Beethoven with you. 226 00:13:39,060 --> 00:13:42,859 The weird smoke there made me fall asleep. Don't make me do this. 227 00:13:43,570 --> 00:13:45,648 Be a hard-ass. Make him do it. 228 00:13:45,649 --> 00:13:48,239 If you don't, I will. 229 00:13:48,989 --> 00:13:50,579 I'm not giving you the choice. 230 00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:52,829 You're a talented kid with untapped potential. 231 00:13:52,830 --> 00:13:54,289 Now get up there and audition. 232 00:13:57,249 --> 00:13:59,039 Why did I make Hub audition? 233 00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:02,249 He's probably dying of embarrassment in there. 234 00:14:02,249 --> 00:14:04,008 Seymour, you're a fool. 235 00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:08,389 You have a master's degree in education, but the parenting skills of a basketball. 236 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:14,599 - I'm sorry, Hub. - Okay, I tried out like you said. 237 00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:15,680 They hated me. 238 00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:18,389 For being so awesome. 239 00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:21,148 I'm playing Farmer McGregor. I'm in three scenes. 240 00:14:21,149 --> 00:14:22,359 One with Peter Rabbit. 241 00:14:22,359 --> 00:14:24,359 Aw! 242 00:14:24,359 --> 00:14:27,359 I did it. I'm parenting, and I'm good at it. 243 00:14:28,070 --> 00:14:31,909 How do you like me now, Spalding Dirk Nowitzki autograph special? 244 00:14:36,039 --> 00:14:39,869 Okay, daffodils, daffodils. Spring has sprung. 245 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,289 Peter Rabbit comes out. 246 00:14:41,879 --> 00:14:44,048 And cue Farmer McGregor. 247 00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:46,668 Who's been eating my carrots? 248 00:14:46,670 --> 00:14:48,170 Exit McGregor. 249 00:14:48,180 --> 00:14:51,969 Peter Rabbit launches into his big number, "I've Been Eating the Carrots." 250 00:14:51,970 --> 00:14:54,138 That's it? That's all you got for Hub? 251 00:14:54,139 --> 00:14:55,219 It's not all. 252 00:14:55,220 --> 00:14:57,678 He sweeps up the bandannas after the hoedown scene. 253 00:14:57,680 --> 00:15:00,349 Dewey, I'm starting to think you lack the vision 254 00:15:00,350 --> 00:15:02,058 to make these characters come to life. 255 00:15:02,060 --> 00:15:05,648 And you could do better? Fine. Here's the headset. 256 00:15:05,649 --> 00:15:08,528 You want it? Take it, take it. Just... Just take it. 257 00:15:10,659 --> 00:15:14,579 Well, cast, um, who's ready to go on a ride with me 258 00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:17,829 as we explore the depths of our new protagonist, 259 00:15:17,830 --> 00:15:19,579 - Farmer McGregor? - [♪ piano riff plays] 260 00:15:19,580 --> 00:15:23,209 Okay, so, the thing you guys don't get about Farmer McGregor 261 00:15:23,210 --> 00:15:27,418 is he's the best actor in the world, and you're just a bunch of dumb animals. 262 00:15:27,420 --> 00:15:28,758 Now, let's have fun with this. 263 00:15:28,759 --> 00:15:30,798 What the hell is this? 264 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:32,969 Farmer McGregor only has three lines 265 00:15:32,970 --> 00:15:36,638 and two of them are, "Here comes Peter Rabbit." Me. 266 00:15:36,639 --> 00:15:37,719 We're gonna fix that. 267 00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:41,979 Lisa Simpson, I need a rewrite by third period tomorrow. 268 00:15:41,980 --> 00:15:45,518 Beef up the McGregor character. Explore his inner world. 269 00:15:45,519 --> 00:15:47,778 Give Hub something worthy of his talents. 270 00:15:47,779 --> 00:15:49,278 Fix the script. 271 00:15:49,279 --> 00:15:52,028 I get to be every eight-year-old girl's hero: 272 00:15:52,029 --> 00:15:53,950 Steven Zaillian. 273 00:15:55,450 --> 00:15:58,788 Milhouse is a joy to have in the room. 274 00:15:58,789 --> 00:16:03,879 He just needs to stop practicing his kissing on female lunch box images. 275 00:16:03,879 --> 00:16:05,999 You hear that, Luann? Female. 276 00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:12,219 These thin-skinned parents unable to handle the slightest feedback 277 00:16:12,220 --> 00:16:15,298 about their perfect children. Who's next? 278 00:16:15,300 --> 00:16:19,808 That would be Hub, but his parents didn't sign up for the conference, so... 279 00:16:19,810 --> 00:16:21,229 I'll stand in for them. 280 00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:24,979 Okay, well, I-I can get to Hub's strengths in a sec, 281 00:16:24,980 --> 00:16:27,568 but I'll start with some of his stretches. 282 00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:29,648 Well, that won't take long. 283 00:16:29,649 --> 00:16:34,109 Yes, he used to be so quiet and unassuming, 284 00:16:34,109 --> 00:16:39,450 but now that he's starring in the play, he's become a bit of a show-off. 285 00:16:40,409 --> 00:16:42,249 You're fired. 286 00:16:42,249 --> 00:16:45,288 But I... No, no, I-I'm merely pointing out that Hub... 287 00:16:45,289 --> 00:16:47,499 Is coming into his own. 288 00:16:47,499 --> 00:16:49,629 He's talented. He's a supernova. 289 00:16:49,629 --> 00:16:52,719 What are you? A fourth-grade teacher in a failing school? 290 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,928 And this boy is an orphan. 291 00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:59,349 His parents both had Benjamin Button disease and died as 85-year-old babies. 292 00:16:59,350 --> 00:17:00,768 Hmm. That's another thing. 293 00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:02,980 Hub has a tendency to... 294 00:17:04,019 --> 00:17:05,019 lie. 295 00:17:05,020 --> 00:17:06,268 He's an actor. 296 00:17:06,269 --> 00:17:08,479 Actors lie for a living. That's their art. 297 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:11,110 Don't you dare say another harsh word about my... 298 00:17:11,819 --> 00:17:15,028 - Hub. - Seymour, you are his principal, 299 00:17:15,029 --> 00:17:16,860 not his father. 300 00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:19,699 Of course. You're right. 301 00:17:19,700 --> 00:17:22,039 You've given me a lot to think about. 302 00:17:27,420 --> 00:17:31,128 Excellent, Willie. Forty down, 360 to go. 303 00:17:31,130 --> 00:17:34,470 Ooh. Look who's coming to town. Hub. 304 00:17:40,890 --> 00:17:42,639 Well, this is your big night. 305 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:44,729 They're all here to see you. 306 00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:47,268 And I'm ready to bring the thunder. 307 00:17:47,269 --> 00:17:49,650 Look out, theatergoers, here comes... 308 00:17:50,690 --> 00:17:53,028 Holy crud. 309 00:17:53,029 --> 00:17:54,149 Butterflies, eh? 310 00:17:54,150 --> 00:17:56,860 From Brando to Balki, all the great ones get 'em. 311 00:17:58,069 --> 00:18:00,579 Break a leg, son. 312 00:18:10,749 --> 00:18:13,459 Peter Rabbit is dead. 313 00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:15,548 Who will save the farm? 314 00:18:15,549 --> 00:18:19,009 - [♪ drum roll] - McGregor. McGregor. 315 00:18:20,009 --> 00:18:22,429 - [♪ music fizzles out] 316 00:18:22,430 --> 00:18:25,180 That's your cue, Olivier. 317 00:18:26,519 --> 00:18:27,519 Hub! 318 00:18:29,519 --> 00:18:30,519 The adoption. 319 00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:31,979 I spooked him. 320 00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:33,860 Hub, wait. Come back. 321 00:18:35,029 --> 00:18:36,029 Dad! 322 00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:39,819 He called me Dad. He wants me to adopt him. 323 00:18:40,319 --> 00:18:42,778 Son, you just made me the happiest... 324 00:18:42,779 --> 00:18:44,118 What are you doing here? 325 00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:46,079 We're your parents. That's what. 326 00:18:46,660 --> 00:18:50,038 Ha-ha! You thought he was running to you. 327 00:18:50,039 --> 00:18:51,669 Your mother dances for coupons, 328 00:18:51,670 --> 00:18:54,749 and your father has a second family he loves more than you. 329 00:18:56,509 --> 00:18:57,798 How did you find me? 330 00:18:57,799 --> 00:19:02,008 Your face is on every light pole from here to Ogdenville. 331 00:19:02,009 --> 00:19:04,558 I... I don't understand. 332 00:19:04,559 --> 00:19:05,639 We don't either. 333 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:08,848 You've got some explaining to do, Alexander Hubley. 334 00:19:10,019 --> 00:19:12,018 Mom and Dad dumped me at boarding school 335 00:19:12,019 --> 00:19:15,318 with a bunch of other snooty jerks with rich parents who don't give a crap. 336 00:19:15,319 --> 00:19:19,318 I couldn't take it, so I bailed and came to Springfield. I liked it here. 337 00:19:19,319 --> 00:19:22,199 And now we've found you. 338 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,328 Yeah, well, it only took you like five months. 339 00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:27,579 We're sorry, son. Come on. Let's go home. 340 00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:32,120 Uh, ladies and gentlemen, uh, 341 00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:35,959 due to an administrator getting his heart broken into a million pieces, 342 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,008 we are canceling the play. 343 00:19:40,339 --> 00:19:42,508 Yeah, I hear your cheers of disappointment, 344 00:19:42,509 --> 00:19:45,679 but, unfortunately, we have lost our Farmer McGregor. 345 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:47,558 No, you haven't. 346 00:19:50,849 --> 00:19:52,848 A farmer rises with the sun, 347 00:19:52,849 --> 00:19:54,649 coaxing life out of the earth 348 00:19:54,650 --> 00:19:57,480 and nourishing the beasts under his dominion. 349 00:19:57,980 --> 00:20:00,989 But I wanna talk about one particular creature on my farm. 350 00:20:00,989 --> 00:20:04,699 A wayward mouse who had been abandoned by his rich mouse parents 351 00:20:04,700 --> 00:20:06,159 at an elite boarding farm. 352 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:09,409 Wait, I didn't write any of this mouse junk. 353 00:20:09,410 --> 00:20:12,499 You didn't write anything. You just ran the room. 354 00:20:12,499 --> 00:20:15,749 Picking good stuff is just as hard as creating good stuff. 355 00:20:15,749 --> 00:20:19,838 The mouse ran away and hid in the barn, blending in with the other animals, 356 00:20:19,839 --> 00:20:22,258 afraid to call attention to himself. 357 00:20:22,259 --> 00:20:24,139 Then, a kind old mouse found him. 358 00:20:24,140 --> 00:20:26,598 He shared with him the cheese of encouragement. 359 00:20:26,599 --> 00:20:29,598 And with that, the mouse spread his wings 360 00:20:29,599 --> 00:20:33,348 and became a magnificent Mr. Pibb-drinking butterfly. 361 00:20:34,940 --> 00:20:37,439 But now, the little mouse has to leave, 362 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:41,149 and he'll never forget the kind older mouse who believed in him, 363 00:20:41,150 --> 00:20:44,279 allowing him to see more. 364 00:20:51,539 --> 00:20:54,419 Your son is terrific. 365 00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:55,499 - Thank you. - Thank you. 366 00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:58,670 That's not my boy. 367 00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:18,358 Okay, guys, let's focus. 368 00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:21,989 Again, how does McGregor lose the farm at the end of the first act? 369 00:21:22,569 --> 00:21:24,900 Anyone? Anything! 370 00:21:24,910 --> 00:21:26,489 How about this? 371 00:21:26,489 --> 00:21:30,659 McGregor comes home, house gone, rabbits everywhere, 372 00:21:30,660 --> 00:21:32,788 and he says... 373 00:21:32,789 --> 00:21:35,459 Don't start a sentence if you don't know where it's going! 374 00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:39,419 Okay, guess what. Now we're staying late. 375 00:21:39,420 --> 00:21:41,169 What do you guys want for dinner? 376 00:21:41,170 --> 00:21:43,169 - Corn dogs! - Dino nuggets! 377 00:21:43,170 --> 00:21:44,838 - Noodles with butter! - Tuna fish! 378 00:21:44,839 --> 00:21:48,049 - Pepperoni! - Now you've got pitches?