1
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Good evening and
welcome to Worm News.

2
00:00:09,822 --> 00:00:11,324
I'm your host, William Worm.

3
00:00:11,324 --> 00:00:13,201
Yes, and I'm Wendy Worm.

4
00:00:13,201 --> 00:00:15,119
Yes, we know.
First up, an election update.

5
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Squiggly Miggly narrowly
clenched the nomination today,

6
00:00:17,705 --> 00:00:18,748
making him the
main rival to the

7
00:00:18,748 --> 00:00:20,810
highly unpopular
President Jimble.

8
00:00:24,921 --> 00:00:26,673
Squiggly Miggly's
definitely going to win.

9
00:00:27,256 --> 00:00:28,800
President Jimble has no chance.

10
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You never know, Allan.

11
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After all,
President Ross Perot won

12
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re-election in
1996 in a major upset.

13
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Oh, you're so right, Pim.

14
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I forgot about that factoid.

15
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Who are you
going to vote for, Charlie?

16
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I don't vote.

17
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OK, I'll tell you why
right now, Pim.

18
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Listen up very carefully.

19
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Little guys like you and me
we're called peons in this world

20
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and we don't decide
who the President is.

21
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Come on, Charlie. That's silly.

22
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Every single vote matters.

23
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Look, I'm just not interested in
getting involved in politics,

24
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Okay? Sorry.

25
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Hey, boys,

26
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guess who just got a call to
make the President smile?

27
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The President will see you now.

28
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We do need corn,
you dumb motherfucker!

29
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Send bombs, not corn, BOMBS!

30
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I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I, uh...

31
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You suck!
You're bad at what you do!

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Quit Motherfucker!
QUIT!

33
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Good to speak to you, too.

34
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Thank you. You're terrific.

35
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Oh, oh, hi.

36
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Are you two here to bring
me my napkins?

37
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No.

38
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Okay, let me just buzz in some nap-

39
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napkins.

40
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Mr. President, we're the
Smiling Friends.

41
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Oh, you's are the
two... two's I called.

42
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I don't know if you heard,

43
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but I was the Vice
President to, uh...

44
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President Pinhead.

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He died last month from a
bad shrimp,

46
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and I became
the President.

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Yeah, we know.

48
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It was literally
the bad shrimp.

49
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Tragedy.

50
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But now I'm friggin' miserable

51
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since I became the President.

52
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All these trolls keep
hating me,

53
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and I don't...
I don't know why.

54
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Dude, no offence or anything,
but have you ever thought

55
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that maybe you should not
be President

56
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and maybe you
should, like, I don't know,

57
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go lay on a beach or
something instead and chill out?

58
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I can't.

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This upcoming election
is by one chance...

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to prove I'm not a fluke.

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I want to win something
for once in my life

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so people will finally like me.

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President Jimble,

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it doesn't matter how
you got this job.

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What matters now is that you're

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the one sitting behind
that beautiful brown desk,

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and I believe
that's destiny.

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Plenty of Presidents
were unpopular until

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they found out they
were good at one specific thing.

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We just need to find out
what your thing is,

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and you'll definitely
beat Squiggly Miggly.

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Yeah.

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You're sayin', I can be
the lamb president.

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No, I mean, like, policy,

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like, presidential stuff.

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What?

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Um, anyway, luckily
it's just a two-man race,

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so it shouldn't be
too complicated.

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Uh, guys,

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I don't know about that.

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It's no secret that
President Jimble's America

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is poor, angry and divided.

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That's why Mr. Frog
is running for President.

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America needs his
calm and steady

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leadership to build
a safer America.

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A prosperous America,

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a stronger America.

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Vote for Mr. Frog,

89
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and together we can build...

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Mr. Frog's America.

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Hello, I'm Mr. Frog
and I approve this message.

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No, I don't. I hate you.
Fuck you.

93
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Pim, That was amazing.

94
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I just got goose pimples
from watching that.

95
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Charlie, don't look at that.

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Sir, have you ever tried giving
a rousing speech

97
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and inspiring the people?

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Maybe it's your hidden talent.

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I feel nauseous.

100
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Nah, it's just your
nerves talking, man.

101
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You'll be fine.

102
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Hello, Transylvania!
I know most of you don't like me,

103
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but I'm here to show you

104
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I can talk good
and give a good speech.

105
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Oh. Excuse me.

106
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I think that lamb
I had earlier was rotten.

107
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President Jimble. Suck!

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You suc-

109
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Okay, perfect.

110
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That adult diaper should
help with any

111
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unfortunate accidents while
you're, ah, feeling unwell.

112
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Can we stop and
get more lamb for lunch?

113
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No, no more lamb.

114
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Pim, did you see Mr. Frog just
announced his plan

115
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to fix the economy?

116
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Man, he is good.

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Grr, I'll show that
toad bastard

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an ergonomic plan!

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Hello, America.

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I'm going to be the
money president.

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Each and every one of you
are going to get

122
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one billion dollars each

123
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so you can all be rich.

124
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Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you doing?

125
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You can't do that.
You'll crash the economy.

126
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Oh, sorry. I didn't mean
to do that.

127
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Everybody's going to
have to give

128
00:04:21,449 --> 00:04:22,972
back all that money
to the government.

129
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By the way, sorry about
those loud noises.

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That was just my diaper.

131
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I don't want to have another
accident from the bad lamb.

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All better.

133
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Dude, check the news.

134
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It doesn't matter what channel.

135
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Am I winning yet?

136
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No, no, not at all, man.

137
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You shit your pants and
crashed the economy

138
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within the same day.

139
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What are you
talking about, dude?

140
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Look, the one thing
you've still got over

141
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Mr. Frog is is that
you're actually in office.

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If we can just
get you this one easy

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foreign policy win,
we can make a comeback.

144
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I'm feeling sick again.

145
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Oh, my God, dude!

146
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Just get through it quickly.
You'll be ...

147
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Guys, I did it. I did it.

148
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I didn't get sick from
the soured lamb.

149
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You... you were supposed
to condemn him.

150
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What?

151
00:05:25,202 --> 00:05:27,468
You just emboldened
a war criminal dictator.

152
00:05:27,468 --> 00:05:28,891
Dude, I don't know anything
about politics,

153
00:05:28,891 --> 00:05:29,895
even I know he's bad.

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He wiped a whole
fucking race of

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00:05:31,644 --> 00:05:33,045
people off the
face of the planet.

156
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Maybe it will be all right.

157
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All right, so it looks like
you're projected to

158
00:05:41,492 --> 00:05:42,905
lose every single state

159
00:05:42,905 --> 00:05:45,072
in what could be a
historic landslide for Mr. Frog.

160
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But we still have
the debate, I guess.

161
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De-bate.

162
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Haha. Debate.

163
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If you think about it,
that's a funny word.

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De-bate.

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Thank you.

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Pim, I can't do this anymore.
I'm done.

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I'm bailing.

168
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All right.

169
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Who was that guy?

170
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What?

171
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Ugh, maybe we shouldn't even do
the debate.

172
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Look, I know my brain
don't work no good sometimes,

173
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but what about all
that stuff you told me?

174
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I promise I'll get out there
and try my hardest this time.

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Yeah, you're right.

176
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No, I'm left.

177
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Left-handed.

178
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Man, this place is a labyrinth.

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How the hell
do I get out of here?

180
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Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just trying
to find my way out of here.

181
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That's okay.
We're just an all-powerful

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00:06:32,121 --> 00:06:34,123
secret society that
you shouldn't know about.

183
00:06:34,263 --> 00:06:37,585
We're just implementing our
insane secret plan to elect Mr. Frog

184
00:06:37,585 --> 00:06:39,378
through mass
media manipulation.

185
00:06:39,378 --> 00:06:40,963
I knew it. I knew
the voters didn't

186
00:06:40,963 --> 00:06:42,263
actually pick the president.

187
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Yes, and now that you
know our plan,

188
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we're going to cover
you in dirt

189
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and slowly devour you
because we're worms!

190
00:06:48,012 --> 00:06:49,555
No, I'm actually cool with
your guy's plan,

191
00:06:49,555 --> 00:06:50,556
the current guy's
a bonehead.

192
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Oh, really? Cool.

193
00:06:52,475 --> 00:06:54,894
Yeah, Mr. Frog's chaos is
exactly what we need to

194
00:06:54,894 --> 00:06:56,771
expand our power. Join us.

195
00:06:56,771 --> 00:06:59,732
Sorry, I can't betray my friend.
He's helping President Jimble.

196
00:06:59,732 --> 00:07:02,234
But I really am a big
fan of Mr. Frog, like a huge fan.

197
00:07:02,234 --> 00:07:03,486
I love when he eats the
bug on the show.

198
00:07:03,819 --> 00:07:05,654
He— He does what?

199
00:07:05,654 --> 00:07:06,781
Yeah, you know,
when he grabs the

200
00:07:06,781 --> 00:07:08,074
bug on the Mr. Frog
show and eats it,

201
00:07:08,074 --> 00:07:09,283
it's like his whole thing.

202
00:07:09,283 --> 00:07:12,286
Oh my God!
Aren't we a type of bug?

203
00:07:14,121 --> 00:07:15,915
Wait, stop!
Wait, stop!

204
00:07:15,915 --> 00:07:17,885
Everyone just stop!
Let's just make sure.

205
00:07:18,834 --> 00:07:21,879
Do frogs eat worms?

206
00:07:23,047 --> 00:07:24,405
Yes, yes they do!

207
00:07:24,892 --> 00:07:26,965
- Oh my God.
- That's TOO much chaos!

208
00:07:26,965 --> 00:07:28,969
We're totally going to
support President Jimble now.

209
00:07:28,969 --> 00:07:30,845
He doesn't eat worms,
he only eats lamb.

210
00:07:32,181 --> 00:07:33,099
Wait, no, no, no, no, no!

211
00:07:33,099 --> 00:07:33,808
Decisions final.

212
00:07:33,808 --> 00:07:34,683
Goodbye.

213
00:07:40,648 --> 00:07:42,525
Good evening. I'm William Worm.

214
00:07:42,525 --> 00:07:44,443
Before we begin, we have
just received word that

215
00:07:44,443 --> 00:07:46,779
Squiggly Miggly will not be
attending tonight's debate

216
00:07:46,779 --> 00:07:49,532
due to the fact he blew his
head off with a 3D printed shotgun.

217
00:07:50,526 --> 00:07:52,201
We want to remind the
audience to please not,

218
00:07:52,201 --> 00:07:53,536
ah, talk out loud,

219
00:07:53,536 --> 00:07:54,829
do not applaud.

220
00:07:54,829 --> 00:07:56,288
You're just wasting time.

221
00:07:56,292 --> 00:07:59,326
Now, our first question
tonight goes to Mr. Frog.

222
00:07:59,792 --> 00:08:02,378
Mr. Frog, why are you so evil?

223
00:08:02,378 --> 00:08:03,712
You have one second to respond.

224
00:08:03,712 --> 00:08:04,588
Hello, I think—

225
00:08:04,588 --> 00:08:05,548
Time's up, plus you're wrong.

226
00:08:05,855 --> 00:08:07,091
The next question is for our

227
00:08:07,091 --> 00:08:09,135
beloved and
highly intelligent president.

228
00:08:09,135 --> 00:08:10,886
Why are you so amazing?

229
00:08:10,886 --> 00:08:12,941
You have unlimited time to
respond.

230
00:08:13,775 --> 00:08:15,558
Oh, p-p-presidential...

231
00:08:15,558 --> 00:08:17,226
p-p-p-p

232
00:08:17,476 --> 00:08:18,644
policy, I—

233
00:08:23,482 --> 00:08:24,813
I can't do this.

234
00:08:25,484 --> 00:08:28,571
A little pink guy once
told me I needed to

235
00:08:28,571 --> 00:08:30,322
find out what I would
be good at as president.

236
00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:32,658
I've finally figured it out.

237
00:08:33,182 --> 00:08:34,302
I'm the president who

238
00:08:34,302 --> 00:08:35,656
shouldn't have
been the president.

239
00:08:35,816 --> 00:08:36,829
Let's face it, I'm a—

240
00:08:36,829 --> 00:08:37,746
retard.

241
00:08:41,292 --> 00:08:42,418
You know, I always
used to want to,

242
00:08:42,418 --> 00:08:44,628
to win the election
and have people like me,

243
00:08:45,615 --> 00:08:46,615
But...

244
00:08:47,308 --> 00:08:49,008
I don't care about
that any more now.

245
00:08:49,341 --> 00:08:51,093
I just want to
be honest, and everyone

246
00:08:51,093 --> 00:08:55,681
that trolled me and
gave me nasty messages.

247
00:08:56,599 --> 00:08:57,600
Fuck you!

248
00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:58,789
Fuck off!

249
00:08:59,268 --> 00:09:00,311
JAG-OFF!

250
00:09:01,645 --> 00:09:02,480
Thank you.

251
00:09:03,981 --> 00:09:05,691
That answer...

252
00:09:05,691 --> 00:09:07,443
was correct!

253
00:09:07,858 --> 00:09:13,765
JIM-BLE! JIM-BLE! JIM-BLE!
JIM-BLE! JIM-BLE! JIM-BLE!

254
00:09:15,493 --> 00:09:17,369
When do the
results start coming in?

255
00:09:17,738 --> 00:09:20,289
Next few minutes.
I got 10 G's says

256
00:09:20,289 --> 00:09:22,791
Jimble's gonna
win, and if he doesn't—

257
00:09:22,791 --> 00:09:24,812
Then I'll take
matters into my own hands.

258
00:09:25,002 --> 00:09:26,712
Ha ha! I'm just kidding!

259
00:09:26,879 --> 00:09:27,713
I'll do it, though.

260
00:09:27,713 --> 00:09:29,245
I'm just playing, dude.

261
00:09:29,381 --> 00:09:30,466
No, I'm serious.

262
00:09:30,466 --> 00:09:32,279
But no, I'll actually do it.

263
00:09:33,552 --> 00:09:35,554
Hey, Pim, sorry about bailing
the other day, man.

264
00:09:35,554 --> 00:09:37,612
I guess I'm not
really cut out for politics.

265
00:09:37,723 --> 00:09:40,018
No, it's fine, Charlie.
Everything ended up working out.

266
00:09:40,392 --> 00:09:42,561
I don't know if President Jimble
is gonna win, but something

267
00:09:42,561 --> 00:09:44,355
about that debate
really turned things around.

268
00:09:44,578 --> 00:09:47,149
Yeah, well, you know, it kind of
reminds me how Shrimpo Jones

269
00:09:47,149 --> 00:09:48,317
won those debates
by surprise

270
00:09:48,317 --> 00:09:50,236
and went onto
landslide in 1980.

271
00:09:50,479 --> 00:09:53,280
Oh, Charlie, look at you
with the political facts now.

272
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:54,782
Yeah, well, hey,
man, who knows?

273
00:09:54,782 --> 00:09:56,575
Maybe you're the one
that got me into politics.

274
00:09:56,575 --> 00:09:57,910
Oh, okay, good!

275
00:09:57,910 --> 00:09:58,994
Getting political! I see a
new Charlie! Oooo! Ahh!

276
00:09:58,994 --> 00:10:00,246
I've seen you, Charlie!

277
00:10:00,579 --> 00:10:02,373
Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha!

278
00:10:02,748 --> 00:10:04,583
Shut up! The
results are coming in.

279
00:10:04,917 --> 00:10:06,210
And now for an election update.

280
00:10:06,389 --> 00:10:08,712
Mr. Frog and President Jimble
are in a virtual tie.

281
00:10:09,088 --> 00:10:10,506
The only state yet
to be called is the state

282
00:10:10,506 --> 00:10:12,716
of Pennsylvania
with its 19 electoral votes.

283
00:10:12,989 --> 00:10:15,956
Whoever takes this state
will be our next president.

284
00:10:16,220 --> 00:10:17,137
Oh, my God!

285
00:10:17,137 --> 00:10:18,430
Jimble could really win this!

286
00:10:18,764 --> 00:10:20,690
Uh, breaking.
We're just getting this now.

287
00:10:20,690 --> 00:10:22,518
Ah, the state of
Pennsylvania has just been

288
00:10:22,518 --> 00:10:25,404
called for Mr. Frog
by one single vote,

289
00:10:25,837 --> 00:10:26,730
making Mr. Frog

290
00:10:26,730 --> 00:10:28,924
the president-elect of
the United States.

291
00:10:29,066 --> 00:10:30,067
Oh, this can't be right.

292
00:10:30,067 --> 00:10:30,776
Don't look at me,
I don't know.

293
00:10:30,776 --> 00:10:31,860
Wait, what?

294
00:10:31,860 --> 00:10:32,987
And we're getting
confirmation now.

295
00:10:32,987 --> 00:10:35,072
the one single vote
was from this guy.

296
00:10:35,340 --> 00:10:36,949
We're putting his name,
face address and

297
00:10:36,949 --> 00:10:40,047
social security number on screen
for our millions of viewers now.

298
00:10:40,202 --> 00:10:41,203
Glep, What the fuck.

299
00:10:41,203 --> 00:10:42,371
Dude? Why?

300
00:10:42,371 --> 00:10:44,456
Well, whatever
I do now is on Glep.

301
00:10:45,082 --> 00:10:46,875
Glep, why would
you vote for Mr. Frog?

302
00:10:47,251 --> 00:10:48,810
Our job was to
help President Jimble.

303
00:10:51,213 --> 00:10:53,215
Oh, okay, yeah. Good point.

304
00:10:53,215 --> 00:10:54,133
That makes sense.
That's fair. Yeah, yeah, okay.

305
00:11:10,892 --> 00:11:11,833
This is the life.