1 00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:09,843 Hey, boys! Thanks for coming in on such short notice. 2 00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:12,137 - No worries, it's our job. - Yeah. 3 00:00:12,220 --> 00:00:13,346 Cool, so anyways, 4 00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:16,182 you guys got a job to help the Shmaloogles 5 00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:18,727 in Shmaloogleville. 6 00:00:20,311 --> 00:00:21,354 Shmaloogles? 7 00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:22,480 Yeah, Shmaloogles. 8 00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:24,315 I'm— I'm just reading off the card here, man. 9 00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:25,942 I don't write them, I just read them. 10 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:29,529 It says, "The Shmaloogles in Shmaloogleville need help." 11 00:00:29,612 --> 00:00:31,072 So, that's all I know. 12 00:00:31,156 --> 00:00:32,657 Sounds like a fun job to me. 13 00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:33,867 Cool, any questions? 14 00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:35,910 Yeah, I actually do have a question. 15 00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:38,038 Who is that? Who's that man? 16 00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:39,122 It's my boy, Neil. 17 00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:40,707 We're gonna watch the Clerks movies 18 00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:42,208 in the Rumpus Room later. 19 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,210 And look, s— no pressure, 20 00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:46,921 but, like, if you guys want to, like, join us, 21 00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:48,214 that would be awesome. 22 00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:49,758 Maybe, yeah. 23 00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:52,177 I mean, it really just depends if we have time or not, 24 00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:53,470 right, Pim? 'Cause it's like... 25 00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:55,930 Yeah, if we get done in time, we'll let you know. 26 00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:59,184 Also, Neil did message Brian O'Halloran. 27 00:00:59,267 --> 00:01:01,853 He's... Dante in Clerks. 28 00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:04,147 So, I don't know if he'll come, but yeah. 29 00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:06,232 Brian was messaged. 30 00:01:07,984 --> 00:01:11,196 We're going to go on the job now, but we'll see, we'll let you know. 31 00:01:11,279 --> 00:01:12,280 See you later, Mr. Boss. 32 00:01:12,363 --> 00:01:14,157 Yeah, yeah, no worries. Have fun. 33 00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:17,994 So they don't like Clerks or what? 34 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,996 No, man, I'm sure they like Clerks. 35 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,582 Those guys just have a lot on their plate right now. 36 00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:35,428 Dude, that car is not meant for off-roading at all. 37 00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:37,388 This place looks lovely! 38 00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:41,184 Greetings! Thank you for coming to help us. 39 00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:45,438 I am King Shmaloogle, and this is Shmaloogleville. 40 00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:48,775 We Shmaloogles are a simple people. 41 00:01:48,858 --> 00:01:51,194 We spend most of our time Shmaloogleing. 42 00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,405 For fun, we also Gloogle. 43 00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:56,199 But, of course, 44 00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:58,368 a day in Shmaloogleville wouldn't be the same 45 00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:01,204 without some good old-fashioned Woogling. 46 00:02:02,872 --> 00:02:04,666 This place seems like a paradise. 47 00:02:04,749 --> 00:02:06,501 What could you possibly need our help with? 48 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,920 Shmaloogley-woogley-woo! 49 00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:10,922 Our Shmaloogle machine is boogling 50 00:02:11,005 --> 00:02:12,674 when it should be zoogling. 51 00:02:12,757 --> 00:02:14,926 It's making us so sad. 52 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,472 Yeah. We can try to help you with that. 53 00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:21,558 Nah, dude. I'm— I'm not doing this one. 54 00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:23,017 Wait, what? What's the matter, Charlie? 55 00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:25,812 Yeah, it's fine. I just... This is way more of a Pim job, man. 56 00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:27,522 And I think you're gonna do a really good job. 57 00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:28,731 - What do you mean? - I just— 58 00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,358 I know I'm not gonna add anything to this. 59 00:02:30,441 --> 00:02:32,360 Is it just the Shmaloogle stuff? 60 00:02:32,443 --> 00:02:33,778 - Okay, I understand. - It's everything. 61 00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:35,864 - Yeah, it doesn't feel like Charlie. - Yeah, it's everything. 62 00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:37,824 It's the look, it's the name, it's the problem they have. 63 00:02:37,907 --> 00:02:39,075 - It's all of it. - That's all right. 64 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,743 I can do this on my own if you don't want to. 65 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,871 - Yeah, that's all right. - Yeah, yeah. By the way, by the way, 66 00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:45,248 dude, I'll go grab us lunch and just tell me what you want from Wawa. 67 00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:46,749 Can I get a chicken salad wrap, actually? 68 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:47,876 Absolutely, yeah. 69 00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:49,794 No worries, I'll do this while you're gone. Yeah. 70 00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:50,962 - Good. - All right, man. 71 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,839 - All right, see you, Charlie. - All right. See you, man. 72 00:02:52,922 --> 00:02:53,965 Okay, let's see. 73 00:02:54,048 --> 00:02:56,926 What exactly is the problem again with the Shmaloogle machine? 74 00:02:57,552 --> 00:02:59,554 No! Everyone, hide! 75 00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:05,018 Pim! 76 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,521 Wh— What was that? 77 00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:10,481 That just happens every now and again. 78 00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:11,608 What? 79 00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:14,152 Hey! Look, everyone! 80 00:03:14,235 --> 00:03:16,571 I've got the Shmaloogle machine working! 81 00:03:16,654 --> 00:03:18,323 Huzzah! 82 00:03:18,406 --> 00:03:20,366 Shmaloogle celebration! 83 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:22,202 Yay! 84 00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:34,130 I shall crush you into liquid! 85 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,256 No, please don't do that! 86 00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:36,341 Quiet, you! 87 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,386 Now, where was I? 88 00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,313 Now it's your turn! 89 00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:55,777 Wait a minute! Your head won't fit! 90 00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:56,986 You're not a Shmaloogle! 91 00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:58,112 Explain yourself! 92 00:03:58,613 --> 00:03:59,614 I'm Pim! 93 00:03:59,697 --> 00:04:01,699 The Shmaloogles called me and my friend to help them! 94 00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:02,825 It's my job! 95 00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:05,536 Dammit! I need more Shmaloogles then! 96 00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:07,830 Wait! What do you even need the Shmaloogles for 97 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:08,957 in the first place? 98 00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:11,334 You really wanna know? 99 00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:14,629 What is wrong with you little freaks? 100 00:04:14,712 --> 00:04:15,755 We gotta do something. 101 00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:17,257 Relax, Charlie. 102 00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:18,841 There's nothing we can do. 103 00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:20,009 Why don't you chill out 104 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,886 and have a homemade Shmaloogle shake 105 00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:23,596 that Princess Shmaloogle made? 106 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,057 Hello. Have a Shmaloogle shake. 107 00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:27,558 No, I don't want a Shmaloogle milkshake. 108 00:04:27,642 --> 00:04:29,978 I want to get my friend and I want to go home. 109 00:04:31,479 --> 00:04:33,106 It's Shmaloogle o'clock. 110 00:04:36,317 --> 00:04:38,236 Hey, hey, stop doing your stupid little dance! 111 00:04:38,319 --> 00:04:40,655 The village was just attacked and your friends were kidnapped 112 00:04:40,738 --> 00:04:42,323 and you're not gonna do anything about it 113 00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:45,451 except for dance around and talk in nonsense? 114 00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:48,454 You suck and you're weak little cowards! 115 00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:52,292 He's right. I'm inspired. 116 00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:53,376 Me too! 117 00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:55,336 I feel funny inside. 118 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:56,587 I want to fight! 119 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,549 You know what? I don't like dancing around. 120 00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,592 I've been repressing this for too long. 121 00:05:01,676 --> 00:05:03,511 Let's go kill that wizard! 122 00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:06,097 Hey, come on now, guys. 123 00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:07,265 We're Shmaloogles, man. 124 00:05:07,348 --> 00:05:08,391 We don't fight. 125 00:05:08,474 --> 00:05:10,059 We sing and we dance. 126 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,311 Fuck you! 127 00:05:15,189 --> 00:05:17,483 Guys, guys, guys, look. I like the direction you're going in, 128 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:20,486 but I think we need to channel this energy into something more constructive. 129 00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:21,571 Like what? 130 00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:23,698 How about a cool fucking training montage? 131 00:05:39,088 --> 00:05:42,675 Ready to learn the horrible secret that will change your life forever? 132 00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:44,385 Yeah, I guess. 133 00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,182 Sorry, what's the problem? 134 00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:50,725 My hair is thinning! 135 00:05:51,309 --> 00:05:54,062 Okay, and what does that have to do with the Shmaloogles? 136 00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:55,355 I read on a forum 137 00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:57,565 that Shmaloogles are a natural remedy for hair loss, 138 00:05:57,648 --> 00:05:58,816 so I've been killing them 139 00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:01,361 and rubbing their juices on my scalp. 140 00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:04,072 There's nothing wrong with going bald, and it definitely doesn't mean 141 00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:05,823 you need to kill innocent creatures over it. 142 00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:08,993 Okay, okay, wow, okay, you really don't get it. 143 00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:11,120 Come over here. Let me show you something, come here. 144 00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,960 - All right, you see this right here? - Yeah. 145 00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:20,296 This is called the Norwood Scale, 146 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,798 and it goes from one to seven. 147 00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:23,174 And right now, I'm like a... 148 00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:25,802 like a three and a half, or a four. 149 00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:28,054 And it's just getting worse. 150 00:06:28,137 --> 00:06:30,973 I think you're thinking about it too much. I don't even think people notice. 151 00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:33,351 Wait, let me guess. Just shave it off and accept it, right? 152 00:06:33,434 --> 00:06:35,353 - Yeah, like just own it. - Yeah, yeah. 153 00:06:35,436 --> 00:06:37,730 A lot of people go bald and they just own it. 154 00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:39,690 - Who? Who? - You know... 155 00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:41,776 There's lots of celebrities that are bald. 156 00:06:41,859 --> 00:06:43,277 You mean like rich, handsome people 157 00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:44,987 who can hire like personal trainers? 158 00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:46,948 I don't think that matters. Balding is fine. 159 00:06:47,031 --> 00:06:49,283 It's just I don't think hair matters as much as you think. 160 00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,494 Okay, okay. Look. That's great. Hold on to that thought. 161 00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:52,870 I want you to tell me 162 00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:55,248 what you think this guy does for a living, okay? 163 00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:57,041 - Like a... - Go. 164 00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:58,918 Looks like a construction worker, a mechanic. 165 00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:01,003 - Just someone who works... - Interesting. 166 00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:03,214 So sort of like blue collar, 167 00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:05,258 - bottom of the bottom of the society. - Yeah— No, no. 168 00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:06,884 No, there's nothing wrong with jobs like that. 169 00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:09,011 - No! - He looks like he works with his hands, 170 00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:10,555 like a laborer type of job. Sure. 171 00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:11,681 Perfect answer. 172 00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:13,975 - What's your point though? Why? - No, no. There's no trick. 173 00:07:14,058 --> 00:07:15,351 Let me just... Okay. Now, now, 174 00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:16,853 what does this guy do? 175 00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,648 - Right? - You just put hair on him? 176 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,901 - I mean— - Still a construction worker? 177 00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:26,446 He could, like, yeah, I mean... 178 00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:29,073 Could he? Really? Really? 179 00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:32,160 You wouldn't say CEO? Or president? 180 00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:34,036 You'd say laborer, really? 181 00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:37,290 Come on, dude, be honest, come on, come on. 182 00:07:37,915 --> 00:07:39,667 I do kind of see your point, yeah. 183 00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:41,502 So, you agree that me killing Shmaloogles 184 00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:42,753 is totally justified, then? 185 00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:45,131 Look, being locked up here all by yourself looking at images 186 00:07:45,214 --> 00:07:47,341 on a scary orb can't be good for anyone. 187 00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:50,178 Have you ever thought about talking to a professional about this? 188 00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:52,054 No, I've never told anyone about my hair loss, 189 00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:53,181 and I never will! 190 00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:55,683 The only reason I've told you is because I'm going to kill you! 191 00:07:55,766 --> 00:07:56,976 No, please don't! 192 00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:07,612 Yo, man, give me my friend back and we'll call it even. 193 00:08:07,695 --> 00:08:09,822 I got a fucking army with me. 194 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:11,532 How wonderful! 195 00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:15,161 The Shmaloogles have come right to my doorstep for me to murder! 196 00:08:15,244 --> 00:08:16,746 Attack! 197 00:08:36,265 --> 00:08:37,266 Man. 198 00:08:37,808 --> 00:08:39,352 Man, those stairs killed me. 199 00:08:39,435 --> 00:08:40,561 Charlie! 200 00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:45,566 For your relentless attacks on our people and our village, 201 00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:47,693 we sentence you to death. 202 00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:49,362 Any last words? 203 00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:50,530 Yeah! 204 00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:53,199 Smile and blow me! 205 00:08:53,282 --> 00:08:54,283 Wait, Mr. Wizard! 206 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,285 You should tell them why you did what you did! 207 00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:57,537 I'd rather die! 208 00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,747 Kill me! Kill me! Kill me! Kill me! Kill me! 209 00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:01,332 Look, you're balding, 210 00:09:01,415 --> 00:09:02,917 and it's nothing to be ashamed of. 211 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,795 Tell them that you've been using Shmaloogles to try and cure it. 212 00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:06,879 No, it's a cowlick, 213 00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:09,382 plus the lighting is all weird in here and everything. 214 00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:10,508 It's... 215 00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:12,635 All right. Fine. Fine! 216 00:09:13,177 --> 00:09:15,388 I'm going bald. 217 00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:16,722 That's your problem? 218 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,099 Dude, you don't need Shmaloogles. 219 00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:20,017 You just need, like, finasteride and minoxidil. 220 00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:21,102 Yeah, but... 221 00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:23,563 I mean, don't those drugs come with, like, 222 00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:25,147 nasty side effects or something? 223 00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:26,524 For some guys, yeah. 224 00:09:26,607 --> 00:09:28,693 For me personally, I've been on it for ten years. 225 00:09:28,776 --> 00:09:30,570 I've never had those issues personally, but... 226 00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:31,821 I didn't know that, Charlie. 227 00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:35,241 Yeah, man. If I never got on medication, I would be fully bald at this point. 228 00:09:35,324 --> 00:09:36,450 I'd be like that guy right there. 229 00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:37,660 But, you know, for you, 230 00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:39,620 the Norwood level that you're at right now, 231 00:09:39,704 --> 00:09:41,247 your hair is totally savable. 232 00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:42,415 No, I think you're right. 233 00:09:42,498 --> 00:09:44,375 I— I really think you're right. 234 00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:46,877 I just gotta bite the bullet and just try it. 235 00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:48,379 And you know what? 236 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:49,839 Even if I do get side effects, 237 00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:51,674 at least I tried something, right? 238 00:09:51,757 --> 00:09:53,968 So, does this mean you won't kill the Shmaloogles anymore? 239 00:09:54,051 --> 00:09:55,303 I suppose so. 240 00:09:55,386 --> 00:09:57,555 Shmaloogletastic! 241 00:09:58,723 --> 00:10:00,099 So, what now? 242 00:10:00,182 --> 00:10:01,392 You guys wanna get Wawa? 243 00:10:04,353 --> 00:10:05,605 See, Charlie? 244 00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:08,065 Turns out you are good at helping silly characters smile. 245 00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:10,234 Pim, you're the smile expert, buddy, all right? 246 00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:13,362 Everything I know, I learned from you. All right, let's get that out of the way. 247 00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:16,365 I'll tell you what, maybe I'll even do a little bit of the Shmaloogle dance? 248 00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:17,491 What if I do that? 249 00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:20,077 By the way, I just wanted to bring this up. 250 00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:22,997 When we were storming the castle before and going up the steps, 251 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,082 I saw you take a picture of Princess Shmaloogle 252 00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:26,334 from underneath her dress. 253 00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:28,628 I just want to say I'm really not okay with that. 254 00:10:29,253 --> 00:10:30,546 What? Are you talking to me? 255 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:31,672 Yeah, I'm talking to you. 256 00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:33,799 - I didn't do that. - I swear I saw you behind us. 257 00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:36,302 Wait, wait, not only did I not do that, it's not even possible. 258 00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:38,095 I haven't had my phone on me all day. 259 00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:39,764 I forgot it at the office. Look. 260 00:10:40,514 --> 00:10:42,141 Gosh, I didn't know you didn't have your phone. 261 00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:44,602 Maybe it was just the way your hand was moving or something. 262 00:10:44,685 --> 00:10:46,312 - Yes. - Forget I said anything. 263 00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:47,438 I'm sorry. 264 00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:49,982 I mean, the vibe's ruined now, dude. 265 00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:05,498 So, what's amazing about this shot is, 266 00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:07,500 - we had a limited space— - Hang on a second, man. 267 00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:08,876 I just want to hear this part. 268 00:11:10,419 --> 00:11:11,504 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. 269 00:11:11,587 --> 00:11:12,546 It's all good. 270 00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:13,631 It's all good.