1
00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:45,306
Betsy! Betsy! Guess what?

2
00:00:45,393 --> 00:00:47,181
My dad took me to the
Asian pop-up store.

3
00:00:47,264 --> 00:00:48,439
Look what I got.

4
00:00:48,526 --> 00:00:50,789
Serenity Labubu.

5
00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:53,009
- Oh, it's so cute!
- Isn't it?

6
00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:54,406
I was at the Asian pop-up too.

7
00:00:54,489 --> 00:00:55,577
No way!

8
00:00:55,707 --> 00:00:56,974
Yeah, look what I got.

9
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,671
The Loyalty Labubu!

10
00:00:58,754 --> 00:01:01,017
Oh, my God, it's so cute!

11
00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:03,197
- I know, right?
- Yeah, I love it.

12
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,239
Oh, dude, dude, check it out.

13
00:01:05,326 --> 00:01:06,374
It's about to happen again.

14
00:01:06,457 --> 00:01:07,680
Ah, shit.

15
00:01:07,763 --> 00:01:10,113
I actually have
Loyalty Labubu already,

16
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,466
and I have a little
costume for it.

17
00:01:11,549 --> 00:01:13,769
That is seriously so cute.

18
00:01:13,899 --> 00:01:15,945
Kenny, you guys,
girls with Labubus.

19
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,081
It's about to happen again.

20
00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:18,996
Come on!

21
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,471
And then, believe it or not,

22
00:01:20,558 --> 00:01:23,126
I actually have
Chestnut Cocoa Labubu.

23
00:01:23,213 --> 00:01:25,654
No way! That is the rarest one.

24
00:01:25,737 --> 00:01:27,217
Isn't it so cute?

25
00:01:27,348 --> 00:01:29,915
So thinking cute!
But it's really rare.

26
00:01:30,002 --> 00:01:31,051
Are you sure it's
not a knockoff?

27
00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:32,135
Oh, dog, here we go.

28
00:01:32,266 --> 00:01:33,706
Yeah, I checked.

29
00:01:33,789 --> 00:01:35,921
If anyone's fake, it's
probably yours, you fat bitch.

30
00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:37,619
- Suck it, skank!
- Eat shit!

31
00:01:37,749 --> 00:01:38,794
Stupid slut!

32
00:01:40,665 --> 00:01:41,710
Ahh!

33
00:01:43,886 --> 00:01:44,843
Yeah, yeah!

34
00:01:47,324 --> 00:01:48,847
- Yeah, yeah!
- Hey!

35
00:01:48,978 --> 00:01:51,158
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
break it up, break it up!

36
00:01:51,241 --> 00:01:53,722
She's rubbing everyone's
noses in her Labubus.

37
00:01:53,809 --> 00:01:57,164
Both of you to the
counselor's office, now!

38
00:01:57,247 --> 00:01:59,162
- She totally started it!
- I did not.

39
00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:00,729
Shut up. I did not.

40
00:02:00,816 --> 00:02:02,517
She came up to me at my
locker with her Labubu

41
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:03,953
and started talking shit.

42
00:02:04,036 --> 00:02:07,083
You talk shit about my
Labubus every day, whore.

43
00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:09,868
Um...

44
00:02:09,999 --> 00:02:11,653
yea, love your enemies

45
00:02:11,783 --> 00:02:13,742
and pray for those
who persecute you.

46
00:02:13,829 --> 00:02:16,270
Tell her to stop saying
my Labubus are knockoffs.

47
00:02:16,353 --> 00:02:19,748
I-I'm sorry, what is a Labubu?

48
00:02:19,835 --> 00:02:21,319
It's a little monster accessory.

49
00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:22,620
They come in blind boxes,

50
00:02:22,751 --> 00:02:24,235
so you never know which
one you're gonna get.

51
00:02:24,318 --> 00:02:25,623
Like, you could just luck out

52
00:02:25,754 --> 00:02:27,499
and get a Time to Chill
Pajama Gold Labubu.

53
00:02:27,582 --> 00:02:29,018
Oh, my God, that one is so cute.

54
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,285
It's so cute, right?

55
00:02:31,368 --> 00:02:32,765
Uh, all right, ladies,

56
00:02:32,848 --> 00:02:34,549
w-why don't you just
give me the dolls

57
00:02:34,632 --> 00:02:36,116
until the end of the school day?

58
00:02:36,199 --> 00:02:37,635
That's not fair!

59
00:02:37,766 --> 00:02:38,984
Go on out to recess.

60
00:02:39,071 --> 00:02:40,856
You can pick up your
Labubus after school.

61
00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:43,558
Wow. What kind of
counseling was that?

62
00:02:43,641 --> 00:02:45,643
I don't know, Jesus sucks, dude.

63
00:02:45,774 --> 00:02:47,910
Our old counselor
was so much better.

64
00:03:00,092 --> 00:03:01,359
Yeah, yeah, yeah, get
some more over there.

65
00:03:01,442 --> 00:03:02,969
This side's starting to fall.

66
00:03:03,052 --> 00:03:04,318
We are the kings of the castle!

67
00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:05,794
Let us in!

68
00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:07,230
Hey, Butters.

69
00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:10,364
Oh, well, uh, hey, Red.

70
00:03:10,451 --> 00:03:12,888
Um, I was just wondering

71
00:03:13,018 --> 00:03:14,411
what you're doing this weekend.

72
00:03:18,241 --> 00:03:19,377
Who, me?

73
00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:20,813
Yeah.

74
00:03:20,896 --> 00:03:22,641
Um, I'm having a birthday
party at my house,

75
00:03:22,724 --> 00:03:26,858
and I was seeing if maybe
you'd want to come hang out?

76
00:03:28,947 --> 00:03:30,605
You're talking about me?

77
00:03:30,688 --> 00:03:32,564
Yeah, I don't know,
it's probably stupid.

78
00:03:32,647 --> 00:03:34,388
I shouldn't have
asked. Never mind.

79
00:03:34,518 --> 00:03:36,133
No, no, I'd love to
come hang out with you

80
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,177
on your birthday, Red.

81
00:03:37,260 --> 00:03:38,178
Really? You would?

82
00:03:38,261 --> 00:03:39,179
Well, sure!

83
00:03:39,262 --> 00:03:40,615
Okay, that's great.

84
00:03:40,698 --> 00:03:42,051
I'll text you all the details.

85
00:03:42,134 --> 00:03:43,923
Okay, Red, I'll see you there.

86
00:03:44,006 --> 00:03:45,616
Okay, and um,

87
00:03:45,747 --> 00:03:47,274
maybe I'll text you my
birthday wish list, too,

88
00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:49,146
in case, you know, you
want to get me a present.

89
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,969
Sure thing!

90
00:03:54,277 --> 00:03:55,713
Oh, my God, you guys,

91
00:03:55,844 --> 00:03:57,589
Red wants to hang out with me!

92
00:03:57,672 --> 00:03:59,504
That's incredible!

93
00:03:59,587 --> 00:04:01,328
Bro, it seems like
she really likes you.

94
00:04:03,591 --> 00:04:05,984
"Really excited to
see you Saturday."

95
00:04:06,071 --> 00:04:07,290
Whoa.

96
00:04:07,421 --> 00:04:09,423
Me and Red.
- Lucky.

97
00:04:10,902 --> 00:04:14,432
"Here is my birthday
gift wish list."

98
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:19,259
"This exact Labubu."

99
00:04:21,565 --> 00:04:26,004
Holy shit, you guys,
you know what I think?

100
00:04:26,135 --> 00:04:28,402
I think on Saturday I'm gonna
find out if red-haired girls

101
00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:29,664
have a red bush!

102
00:04:29,747 --> 00:04:31,358
- Wow!
- Wow!

103
00:04:42,151 --> 00:04:44,458
Welcome to City
Asian Pop-Up Store.

104
00:04:44,545 --> 00:04:46,899
Can I take a order, please?

105
00:04:46,982 --> 00:04:49,811
Wait, didn't this place
used to be City Wok?

106
00:04:49,941 --> 00:04:51,987
Yeah, but whole country change.

107
00:04:52,117 --> 00:04:52,944
Didn't you hear the news?

108
00:04:53,075 --> 00:04:54,559
Wok is dead.

109
00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:57,253
This City Pop-Up now.
What do you like to have?

110
00:04:57,384 --> 00:04:58,693
We got City Pop-up key chains,

111
00:04:58,776 --> 00:05:00,169
City cell phone charm,

112
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,910
City anime sculpture.

113
00:05:01,997 --> 00:05:04,133
Well, actually, I'm
looking for a Labubu.

114
00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:06,480
Ah, yeah, everyone love Labubu.

115
00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:08,137
They real hard to keep in stock.

116
00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:10,314
Very expensive
'cause of tariffs.

117
00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:12,050
You know, uh, it's
really important.

118
00:05:12,181 --> 00:05:13,487
I got this new girlfriend,

119
00:05:13,617 --> 00:05:15,924
and she wants this specific
Labubu for her birthday.

120
00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:17,930
Oh, that very rare Labubu.

121
00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:20,189
You only find that
in a mystery box.

122
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,712
Mystery box?

123
00:05:21,799 --> 00:05:23,584
Hi. Are you guys
still serving food?

124
00:05:23,671 --> 00:05:25,851
No, no, no, Wok is dead.
Haven't you heard the news?

125
00:05:27,588 --> 00:05:29,289
Can't I just buy this Labubu?

126
00:05:29,372 --> 00:05:30,852
No, that not the way it work.

127
00:05:30,982 --> 00:05:32,901
You buy mystery
box, you open it,

128
00:05:32,984 --> 00:05:34,595
hopefully you get
the one you want.

129
00:05:34,725 --> 00:05:36,296
Okay, how much is a mystery box?

130
00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:38,255
$85.

131
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,426
85?

132
00:05:39,556 --> 00:05:41,384
Yeah, you gotta pay tariff.

133
00:05:41,471 --> 00:05:42,737
You think I pay
tariff? No, no, no, no.

134
00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:44,169
You pay tariff.

135
00:05:44,256 --> 00:05:45,606
Well, okay, I'll take one.

136
00:06:00,055 --> 00:06:02,061
Yeah, well, Wok is
dead, you stupid bitch!

137
00:06:02,144 --> 00:06:03,493
Stop nagging me!

138
00:06:03,624 --> 00:06:04,933
Ah, dang it!

139
00:06:05,016 --> 00:06:06,540
This is the wrong one!

140
00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:08,759
Oh, yeah, that just
Happiness Labubu.

141
00:06:08,846 --> 00:06:10,112
Very common. Very common.

142
00:06:10,195 --> 00:06:11,984
You try again, $85.

143
00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:14,203
I have to pay another $85

144
00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:15,984
and I still might not
get the one I want?

145
00:06:16,071 --> 00:06:17,990
Hey, it's not me,
it's your government.

146
00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:19,296
I don't get fucked by tariff.

147
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,993
You get fucked by tariff.

148
00:06:21,076 --> 00:06:23,905
In China, we call
that hot potato.

149
00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:27,216
You're watching Fox News.

150
00:06:27,299 --> 00:06:29,780
The president
has just returned

151
00:06:29,911 --> 00:06:32,831
from his historic
tariff summit overseas.

152
00:06:32,914 --> 00:06:35,747
There's the president now,
looking handsome as ever.

153
00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:37,745
Oh, and there's the
Prince of Darkness,

154
00:06:37,875 --> 00:06:40,878
who's been traveling with
the president as of late.

155
00:06:40,965 --> 00:06:42,884
The president has made his
way off of Air Force One

156
00:06:42,967 --> 00:06:45,104
and will now speak to a
diverse crowd of reporters.

157
00:06:46,928 --> 00:06:49,543
Mr. Pre... Mr. President, how
did the tariff meetings go?

158
00:06:49,626 --> 00:06:51,367
Ah, they went great, buddy!

159
00:06:53,238 --> 00:06:55,893
Mr. President, we're all
dying to know something.

160
00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:58,204
Your wife, Melania, has
been staying in New York

161
00:06:58,287 --> 00:06:59,597
and away from the White House.

162
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:00,942
That's right!

163
00:07:01,072 --> 00:07:04,119
Well, what Fox News
really wants to know is

164
00:07:04,249 --> 00:07:06,077
are you fucking Satan?

165
00:07:07,339 --> 00:07:09,516
No! I'm not fucking Satan!

166
00:07:09,646 --> 00:07:12,127
We're just sorta hanging out.

167
00:07:12,257 --> 00:07:14,042
Oh, come on, President Trump.

168
00:07:14,129 --> 00:07:15,565
With everything
you've been doing,

169
00:07:15,696 --> 00:07:18,050
pretty much the whole country
thinks you're fucking Satan now.

170
00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:19,830
I'm not fucking Satan!

171
00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:22,311
Can we go, please?

172
00:07:24,966 --> 00:07:26,837
He is fucking Satan.

173
00:07:26,924 --> 00:07:28,752
That guy's definitely
fucking Satan.

174
00:07:28,883 --> 00:07:29,840
What a stud.

175
00:07:29,927 --> 00:07:31,886
Yeah, Fox News!

176
00:07:33,104 --> 00:07:34,414
All right,
everyone, listen up,

177
00:07:34,497 --> 00:07:36,068
As you know, there's a lot
being done in the country

178
00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:38,066
to bring Christian values
back to our schools.

179
00:07:38,153 --> 00:07:39,793
Our new school counselor
has some concerns

180
00:07:39,894 --> 00:07:40,764
that I understand
he'd like to voice.

181
00:07:40,895 --> 00:07:41,895
Go ahead, Jesus.

182
00:07:44,115 --> 00:07:46,640
Well, I'm just a bit confused

183
00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:48,772
about the dramatic
rise in fist fighting

184
00:07:48,903 --> 00:07:50,382
over these Labubus.

185
00:07:50,513 --> 00:07:51,558
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.

186
00:07:51,688 --> 00:07:52,733
Oh, the Labubus.

187
00:07:52,863 --> 00:07:54,695
Kids go nuts for 'em.

188
00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:58,046
I just don't quite understand
what the fascination is.

189
00:07:58,129 --> 00:08:00,392
Well, they're just the new
fad of the month, you know.

190
00:08:00,523 --> 00:08:02,960
They make them scarce and
hard to find a secret one.

191
00:08:03,047 --> 00:08:05,445
Yeah, and then all the kids
make their Labubu TikToks.

192
00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:07,099
Labubu TikTok?

193
00:08:07,182 --> 00:08:08,796
Yeah, the kids make
'em and they watch 'em.

194
00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:10,102
I can pull one up.

195
00:08:10,185 --> 00:08:12,883
This is Kelly Bronson
from Mrs. Turner's class.

196
00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:15,847
Hey, guys, this is another
Labubu unboxing video!

197
00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:17,192
I got this Labubu online.

198
00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:18,415
I'm pretty sure
it's not a Lafufu.

199
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,977
I got the QR code right here.

200
00:08:20,108 --> 00:08:22,027
We're gonna see what we
got. Hope it's a rare one.

201
00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:24,072
If it is, I'm absolutely
gonna freak out.

202
00:08:24,155 --> 00:08:26,549
Okay, let's see,
let's see, let's see!

203
00:08:30,771 --> 00:08:32,120
Oh, my God!

204
00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:33,991
Oh, my God!

205
00:08:34,122 --> 00:08:35,910
Okay, okay, let's
start the ritual.

206
00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:57,366
What the hell was that?

207
00:08:57,449 --> 00:08:59,891
That's a Labubu unboxing TikTok.

208
00:08:59,974 --> 00:09:02,237
Kids go nuts for 'em.

209
00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:04,805
But that's, like, some
dark Satanic ritual.

210
00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:06,506
Oh, yeah, Labubus are demonic.

211
00:09:06,589 --> 00:09:08,025
Yeah, dark magic.

212
00:09:08,156 --> 00:09:09,596
I don't know if they
come that way from China,

213
00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:12,247
or the kids are infusing them
with some Sumerian dark entity.

214
00:09:12,377 --> 00:09:13,683
It's Mesopotamian.

215
00:09:13,814 --> 00:09:15,734
Got it. So what are your
major concerns, Jesus?

216
00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:19,258
Bro.

217
00:09:19,341 --> 00:09:20,821
That's not normal.

218
00:09:20,951 --> 00:09:22,518
These kids are in trouble.

219
00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:25,216
Yeah, that's why every
school needs a counselor.

220
00:09:38,665 --> 00:09:40,754
Welcome City Pop-Up.
Take order, please.

221
00:09:40,841 --> 00:09:43,587
I have $88.42 in here.

222
00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:45,153
I need to buy
another mystery box.

223
00:09:45,236 --> 00:09:48,631
Oh, sorry, Labubu
mystery box $120.

224
00:09:48,762 --> 00:09:50,677
What? It was $85!

225
00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:52,504
Yeah, yeah, tariffs when up!

226
00:09:52,635 --> 00:09:54,554
You never know with
tariffs. They make no sense.

227
00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:55,986
But that's not fair!

228
00:09:56,073 --> 00:09:57,992
Yeah, no shit, tariffs not fair!

229
00:09:58,075 --> 00:10:00,643
Please, sir, my
girlfriend's party is today,

230
00:10:00,730 --> 00:10:02,083
and I have to get
the Labubu she wants.

231
00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:03,215
Please!

232
00:10:03,298 --> 00:10:04,342
It's okay, it's okay.

233
00:10:04,429 --> 00:10:05,909
I have idea.

234
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,129
You want mystery
box for cheap price?

235
00:10:08,259 --> 00:10:10,348
You use claw machine.

236
00:10:10,435 --> 00:10:11,615
You try your luck.

237
00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:13,660
Use claw machine to
get a mystery box,

238
00:10:13,743 --> 00:10:16,794
open it up, hopefully you
get good Labubu you want.

239
00:10:27,104 --> 00:10:28,327
Oh, you so close.

240
00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:29,454
Try again.

241
00:10:29,585 --> 00:10:32,109
Oh, jeez.

242
00:10:35,896 --> 00:10:37,549
Oh, here we go.

243
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:40,378
I get screwed by tariffs, so
I have to screw the children!

244
00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:41,945
What do you not understand?

245
00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:48,347
Yeah, well, Wok's not
coming back, bitch!

246
00:10:48,430 --> 00:10:49,953
Go wok, go brok!

247
00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:55,393
Thank you for coming,
Mrs. Paxton, Mrs. Gray.

248
00:10:55,524 --> 00:10:58,487
The reason I called you in
today is because your girls were

249
00:10:58,570 --> 00:11:01,273
in a major altercation
over their Labubus.

250
00:11:01,356 --> 00:11:03,793
Okay, so what are you
gonna do about it?

251
00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:06,013
Well, I was hoping we
could work together

252
00:11:06,143 --> 00:11:08,497
to maybe just keep them
away from the Labubus.

253
00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:10,630
Oh, sure, just take
their Labubus away.

254
00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:12,284
Great counseling.

255
00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:14,978
Look, I have reason to believe
that the students are using

256
00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:18,199
Labubus for some
kind of... ritual.

257
00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:20,636
Yeah, but to do that, you
have to have a super rare one.

258
00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:22,943
They're the only ones girls
can use in dark rituals.

259
00:11:23,073 --> 00:11:25,036
You know that they're demonic?

260
00:11:25,119 --> 00:11:27,512
Yeah. What are we
supposed to do?

261
00:11:27,599 --> 00:11:30,080
My daughter sees Kelly Miller
summoning demonic forces

262
00:11:30,211 --> 00:11:33,479
on TikTok, then she wants
to be like Kelly Miller.

263
00:11:33,562 --> 00:11:35,782
Did Kelly Miller
summon demonic forces?

264
00:11:35,912 --> 00:11:37,609
I don't know, she hung herself.

265
00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:40,308
Well, we should probably
keep the girls off of TikTok.

266
00:11:40,395 --> 00:11:42,179
Oh, yeah, just keep
'em off TikTok.

267
00:11:42,310 --> 00:11:43,964
That's some clever
counseling there.

268
00:11:44,094 --> 00:11:46,096
- Do you have kids?
- No, I don't.

269
00:11:46,183 --> 00:11:47,794
- Figures.
- Well, when you do,

270
00:11:47,924 --> 00:11:49,244
you try and keep
'em off of TikTok

271
00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,101
and out of the
Asian pop-up store.

272
00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:53,974
Wait, what is an
Asian pop-up store?

273
00:11:54,061 --> 00:11:56,284
That's where the girls
get all the Labubus.

274
00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:57,764
Where did they find this guy?

275
00:11:57,847 --> 00:11:59,936
We told you he was
a crappy counselor

276
00:12:01,895 --> 00:12:04,985
This is a Fox News Alert!

277
00:12:05,072 --> 00:12:07,988
As debates on American
tariffs continue,

278
00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:10,468
the question on every
American's mind tonight,

279
00:12:10,599 --> 00:12:13,345
is President Trump
fucking Satan?

280
00:12:13,428 --> 00:12:15,521
The president's been seen
less and less with his wife

281
00:12:15,604 --> 00:12:17,475
and more often with his new pal,

282
00:12:17,606 --> 00:12:19,434
making people all
around the world say,

283
00:12:19,564 --> 00:12:22,746
"Donald Trump has got to be
fucking Satan, for sure."

284
00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:24,878
Well, for all of us
who are still skeptical

285
00:12:24,961 --> 00:12:26,880
that President Trump
is fucking Satan,

286
00:12:26,963 --> 00:12:28,704
Fox News has
obtained some footage

287
00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:31,580
of President Trump seeming
to be fucking Satan.

288
00:12:31,663 --> 00:12:33,361
This was at a golf
course yesterday

289
00:12:33,448 --> 00:12:35,450
where the president
was heroically golfing.

290
00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:37,452
You can just make out
Satan going behind a bush

291
00:12:37,582 --> 00:12:39,149
and President Trump
right there...

292
00:12:39,236 --> 00:12:41,282
he's fucking Satan.
Karen, what do you think?

293
00:12:41,412 --> 00:12:43,806
I think the president is
definitely fucking Satan,

294
00:12:43,937 --> 00:12:45,939
and I love it.

295
00:12:46,069 --> 00:12:47,727
Of course, a lot of
Americans still argue

296
00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:50,121
there's no way the president
could be fucking Satan.

297
00:12:50,204 --> 00:12:52,123
So we have a body
language expert to show us

298
00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:54,038
just how it is possible.

299
00:12:54,121 --> 00:12:57,167
Well, if Mr. President
Trump is fucking Satan...

300
00:12:57,254 --> 00:12:58,912
and I'm not saying
if he is or isn't.

301
00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:01,132
I'm just kinda hoping he is...

302
00:13:01,215 --> 00:13:03,787
he mostly likely is
coming in from the back.

303
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:06,267
Now, Satan has a pretty
large physical presence,

304
00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:08,400
so we're pretty sure President
Trump would have to get on top

305
00:13:08,483 --> 00:13:09,832
and...
- Ah!

306
00:13:09,919 --> 00:13:11,403
Oh, my God, the
president is doing things

307
00:13:11,486 --> 00:13:12,534
no other president
has done before.

308
00:13:12,617 --> 00:13:14,275
I love him.

309
00:13:14,358 --> 00:13:16,190
If you don't think President
Trump is fucking Satan,

310
00:13:16,273 --> 00:13:18,188
this definitely proves
how he could be!

311
00:13:30,287 --> 00:13:32,202
Welcome to City
Asian Pop-Up Store.

312
00:13:32,289 --> 00:13:33,769
Take order, please.

313
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:36,167
Are you the one that has been
selling all these Labubus

314
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:37,777
to my students?

315
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:39,209
Oh, boy.

316
00:13:39,296 --> 00:13:41,559
Look, it not my fault,
these city prices, okay?

317
00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:43,174
Labubus very expensive.

318
00:13:43,257 --> 00:13:45,393
Those dolls you are
selling are cursed!

319
00:13:45,476 --> 00:13:47,087
Yeah, no shit they cursed.

320
00:13:47,174 --> 00:13:49,441
It's called tariff.
You pass it along.

321
00:13:49,524 --> 00:13:50,921
I get the curse, I
put the curse on you.

322
00:13:51,004 --> 00:13:52,353
It's like AIDS.

323
00:13:52,483 --> 00:13:53,920
Oh, my God, I got it!

324
00:13:54,050 --> 00:13:56,226
I got the super rare!

325
00:13:56,313 --> 00:13:57,884
Hey, what the hell
you talking about?

326
00:13:57,967 --> 00:13:59,534
This is the one my
girlfriend wants!

327
00:13:59,664 --> 00:14:01,579
Now I can take it to
her birthday party!

328
00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:03,629
My child, put that
down, it's dangerous!

329
00:14:03,712 --> 00:14:06,454
Hey, hey, hold on,
that's super rare Labubu.

330
00:14:06,541 --> 00:14:09,196
That worth, like, $600.
You gotta pay more tariff.

331
00:14:13,330 --> 00:14:15,249
Oh, my God, will you go away?

332
00:14:15,332 --> 00:14:16,903
Listen, both of you!

333
00:14:16,986 --> 00:14:19,427
There are more important
issues at hand.

334
00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:21,991
My child, you cannot take
that to a birthday party.

335
00:14:23,558 --> 00:14:25,255
Ah, shit, where he go?

336
00:14:46,624 --> 00:14:48,805
Satan?

337
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,847
Why are you so sad?

338
00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:56,813
I wish to be gone
from this place.

339
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,202
I do not understand.

340
00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:01,161
If you do not want to be here,

341
00:15:01,291 --> 00:15:04,033
then why do you stay?

342
00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:08,646
I am forced to stay by
the dark tides of destiny.

343
00:15:08,777 --> 00:15:13,525
I wanted to leave
months ago, but I cannot

344
00:15:13,608 --> 00:15:17,917
because of what's in this box.

345
00:15:19,744 --> 00:15:21,877
What's in the box?

346
00:15:21,964 --> 00:15:24,880
The secret none must know,

347
00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:28,884
and yet, all will soon discover.

348
00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:32,018
I can feel the tides of change.

349
00:15:32,148 --> 00:15:36,022
The final showdown is upon us.

350
00:15:54,649 --> 00:15:56,999
Happy birthday, Red!

351
00:15:57,130 --> 00:15:58,435
Butters.

352
00:15:58,566 --> 00:16:00,916
Wait. Is that what
I think it is?

353
00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:04,137
Well, you'll have to wait till
you open it to find out...

354
00:16:04,224 --> 00:16:05,359
Oh, all right then.

355
00:16:11,405 --> 00:16:12,841
I love you, Butters!

356
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,017
Wow!

357
00:16:15,148 --> 00:16:16,236
I got it, you guys!

358
00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:17,933
- Oh, wow!
- It's so cool!

359
00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:19,373
Oh, it's so cute!

360
00:16:19,456 --> 00:16:20,849
I got the super rare,

361
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,459
all thanks to Butters.

362
00:16:22,590 --> 00:16:24,374
So are you gonna do it?

363
00:16:24,461 --> 00:16:26,728
Yeah! We're gonna go
upstairs and do it!

364
00:16:26,811 --> 00:16:28,165
Whoa! We're gonna what?

365
00:16:28,248 --> 00:16:29,597
Come up to my room, Butters!

366
00:16:29,684 --> 00:16:30,598
Oh, my God!

367
00:16:32,295 --> 00:16:33,561
Hey, if anyone wants
to watch us do it,

368
00:16:33,644 --> 00:16:34,562
come on up!

369
00:16:34,645 --> 00:16:36,042
- Okay, yeah.
- Great.

370
00:16:36,125 --> 00:16:38,040
Oh! This is all
really sudden, Red!

371
00:16:38,171 --> 00:16:39,132
Wait!

372
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:49,012
South Park Elementary.
I'm sorry, we're closed.

373
00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:50,535
Bev! I need to know
which of the students

374
00:16:50,618 --> 00:16:52,533
has a birthday today.

375
00:16:52,663 --> 00:16:53,621
Who is this?

376
00:16:53,708 --> 00:16:55,753
It's me, Jesus!

377
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:56,885
Who?

378
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,321
The school counselor!

379
00:16:58,452 --> 00:17:01,067
Oh. I don't know who
has a birthday today.

380
00:17:01,150 --> 00:17:03,591
That was actually always
the counselor's job.

381
00:17:03,674 --> 00:17:06,725
Can you just look it up in
the school records, please?

382
00:17:06,808 --> 00:17:07,987
Hang on.

383
00:17:08,070 --> 00:17:10,420
Guess I'm doing
your job too now.

384
00:17:11,639 --> 00:17:13,645
Okay, okay. Oh, my God.

385
00:17:13,728 --> 00:17:15,860
I'm so excited to finally do it.

386
00:17:15,947 --> 00:17:18,907
Well, yeah, I guess I'm
excited to do it, too, Red.

387
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,652
Okay, I think we're all ready.

388
00:17:20,735 --> 00:17:22,867
Here, you take a video
of the whole thing.

389
00:17:22,954 --> 00:17:25,091
Whoa! Can't we just kiss first?

390
00:17:25,174 --> 00:17:28,177
Hey! What's up, guys? This
is my TikTok Labubu video.

391
00:17:28,308 --> 00:17:30,571
I got the super rare, so
let's see if it works.

392
00:17:30,701 --> 00:17:32,007
Hey, we want to watch.

393
00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:34,140
Yeah, come on in, you guys.

394
00:17:36,751 --> 00:17:38,666
Labubu, Labubu.

395
00:17:38,753 --> 00:17:40,280
Labubu, Labubu.

396
00:17:40,363 --> 00:17:42,674
What the heck's going on?
- Labubu, Labubu.

397
00:17:42,757 --> 00:17:44,023
Ah!

398
00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:45,982
Oh, God!

399
00:17:55,335 --> 00:17:56,945
Labubu, Labubu.

400
00:17:57,076 --> 00:18:00,557
Labubu, Labubu.

401
00:18:00,688 --> 00:18:02,607
Here he comes!

402
00:18:05,519 --> 00:18:07,173
Ah!

403
00:18:07,303 --> 00:18:09,000
We call the demonic forces!

404
00:18:09,131 --> 00:18:11,442
Appear before us at
my birthday party!

405
00:18:11,525 --> 00:18:12,917
This is so cool!

406
00:18:15,659 --> 00:18:17,531
Ta-da!

407
00:18:17,661 --> 00:18:19,493
Ew!

408
00:18:19,576 --> 00:18:21,404
Wait, that thing
is fucking Satan?

409
00:18:21,535 --> 00:18:24,281
No! I'm not fucking Satan!

410
00:18:28,585 --> 00:18:32,067
This is a Fox
News Super Alert!

411
00:18:32,198 --> 00:18:35,248
We may just have another
Trump and Satan spotting.

412
00:18:35,331 --> 00:18:36,724
The two are rumored to be

413
00:18:36,811 --> 00:18:38,295
in a small mountain
town in the Rockies.

414
00:18:38,378 --> 00:18:40,423
Let's go to our
Colorado affiliate.

415
00:18:41,946 --> 00:18:43,039
Yeah, guys, there's
definitely black clouds

416
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,258
and swarms of locusts here.

417
00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:47,695
Um, probably another
Labubu party.

418
00:18:47,778 --> 00:18:49,349
You know, whenever
there's a Labubu party,

419
00:18:49,432 --> 00:18:51,743
the president and Satan
usually make an appearance.

420
00:18:51,826 --> 00:18:53,219
We've got our eye
in the sky now.

421
00:18:53,349 --> 00:18:54,742
Guys, what are you seeing?

422
00:18:54,829 --> 00:18:56,530
Yeah, you can see little girls

423
00:18:56,613 --> 00:18:58,267
running and screaming.

424
00:18:58,398 --> 00:19:00,230
The president just coming
out onto the front lawn...

425
00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:01,836
and yes, there is Satan.

426
00:19:01,966 --> 00:19:03,881
They're definitely hanging out.

427
00:19:03,968 --> 00:19:06,497
Come on, let's go!

428
00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:09,104
Lucifer!

429
00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:11,328
So...

430
00:19:11,411 --> 00:19:13,721
it is you.

431
00:19:13,804 --> 00:19:15,854
Just what are you doing, Satan?

432
00:19:15,937 --> 00:19:17,551
I will know.

433
00:19:19,506 --> 00:19:22,422
Okay, it looks like Jesus
Christ is now on the scene

434
00:19:22,552 --> 00:19:24,732
for some kind of
biblical showdown.

435
00:19:24,815 --> 00:19:26,995
I have seen your
evil at work, Satan.

436
00:19:27,078 --> 00:19:29,520
I bid you leave
this realm at once.

437
00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:31,822
You think I don't want to leave?

438
00:19:31,953 --> 00:19:33,911
I am bound to him!

439
00:19:33,998 --> 00:19:35,743
Bound to him how?

440
00:19:35,826 --> 00:19:38,568
All right, fine! Here!

441
00:19:38,655 --> 00:19:41,049
You all want to know the truth?

442
00:19:42,877 --> 00:19:45,271
Yes! We're together!

443
00:19:45,401 --> 00:19:47,320
We've been together for months,

444
00:19:47,403 --> 00:19:50,841
and I want to leave
him, but I can't

445
00:19:50,972 --> 00:19:53,148
because...

446
00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:54,802
I'm pregnant.

447
00:20:03,637 --> 00:20:05,338
He's pregnant?

448
00:20:05,421 --> 00:20:06,596
Whoa.

449
00:20:06,683 --> 00:20:08,511
So now you all know.

450
00:20:08,642 --> 00:20:11,035
I am forced to stay
in this situation

451
00:20:11,122 --> 00:20:12,950
for several more years.

452
00:20:16,345 --> 00:20:19,522
Uh, Satan is saying he's been
trapped at the White House

453
00:20:19,653 --> 00:20:21,742
because he's pregnant.

454
00:20:21,872 --> 00:20:23,700
Uh, let's get our
science expert in here

455
00:20:23,831 --> 00:20:26,050
to see if that's
actually possible.

456
00:20:26,137 --> 00:20:29,532
Yeah, uh, demonic pregnancies
work a little different.

457
00:20:29,663 --> 00:20:32,278
The term is "butt baby."

458
00:20:32,361 --> 00:20:33,845
All right, well,
that seems to be it.

459
00:20:33,928 --> 00:20:37,192
Satan is pregnant with
the president's child.

460
00:20:37,279 --> 00:20:39,977
So Fox News can now confirm

461
00:20:40,108 --> 00:20:43,111
Donald Trump has been fucking
Satan this whole time.

462
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:44,421
Yeah!

463
00:20:44,504 --> 00:20:45,726
This is a great
day for Fox News.

464
00:20:45,809 --> 00:20:48,033
Yes, Fox News!

465
00:20:48,116 --> 00:20:49,774
For all the doubters
who thought Donald Trump

466
00:20:49,857 --> 00:20:51,337
wasn't fucking Satan,

467
00:20:51,467 --> 00:20:52,990
in your face!

468
00:20:53,121 --> 00:20:54,862
We're gonna check in
now with Kid Rock.

469
00:20:54,949 --> 00:20:57,260
Kid, you must be
overcome with emotion.

470
00:20:57,343 --> 00:20:59,610
I just... I just
honestly didn't think

471
00:20:59,693 --> 00:21:01,956
the president was
fucking Satan, but

472
00:21:02,086 --> 00:21:04,872
now knowing that he has
been this whole time,

473
00:21:04,959 --> 00:21:07,748
I'm just so happy.

474
00:21:11,357 --> 00:21:13,885
Well, I hope you guys
learned a valuable lesson.

475
00:21:13,968 --> 00:21:16,971
If you mess around
and you aren't safe,

476
00:21:17,101 --> 00:21:19,887
it can have really
big consequences.

477
00:21:21,889 --> 00:21:24,200
Yeah, I'm not having
sex for a long time.

478
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:26,114
And I'm done with Labubus.

479
00:21:26,197 --> 00:21:28,465
Well, that's good,
because as your counselor,

480
00:21:28,548 --> 00:21:30,680
I'm banning Labubus from school.

481
00:21:30,767 --> 00:21:33,379
And TikTok. And cell phones.

482
00:21:33,509 --> 00:21:34,597
Now get back to class.

483
00:21:34,728 --> 00:21:36,251
You both have detention
for two weeks.

484
00:21:36,338 --> 00:21:38,471
Oh, man!

485
00:21:38,601 --> 00:21:40,651
Wow, new counselor's
kind of a dick.

486
00:21:40,734 --> 00:21:43,824
Yeah, but he's better
than the last guy.