1 00:00:48,011 --> 00:00:50,173 - How was school today, bud? 2 00:00:50,275 --> 00:00:52,810 - It was fine. 3 00:00:52,845 --> 00:00:55,481 - Look, Stan, I know it's been really hard for you 4 00:00:55,517 --> 00:00:57,720 the past month, with us not having a home. 5 00:00:57,822 --> 00:00:59,723 - Yeah, it sucks. 6 00:00:59,825 --> 00:01:01,156 - I've tried to find work, 7 00:01:01,225 --> 00:01:02,518 but there's just not a lot out there. 8 00:01:02,620 --> 00:01:04,026 And with the government shutdown, 9 00:01:04,128 --> 00:01:06,658 I can't get my job back with the USGS. 10 00:01:06,693 --> 00:01:10,130 Times are hard, and I know we all miss Tegridy. 11 00:01:10,165 --> 00:01:11,829 - I don't miss Tegridy, Dad. 12 00:01:11,864 --> 00:01:14,199 I just hate that our family is living in a motel. 13 00:01:14,301 --> 00:01:15,667 It's really embarrassing. 14 00:01:15,736 --> 00:01:17,835 - Well, that's what I need to tell you, Stan. 15 00:01:17,871 --> 00:01:20,804 There's some good news— we're moving out of the motel. 16 00:01:20,839 --> 00:01:23,641 - Wait, really? We can live in a house again? 17 00:01:23,676 --> 00:01:26,346 - Well, no, we can't afford a house, so... 18 00:01:26,414 --> 00:01:28,851 we're moving in with your grandpa. 19 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:31,046 - Moving in with Grandpa? 20 00:01:34,189 --> 00:01:36,025 - This is a bunch of bull crap! 21 00:01:36,094 --> 00:01:38,026 First you stick me in this place, 22 00:01:38,061 --> 00:01:40,093 and then you all come along? 23 00:01:40,195 --> 00:01:41,732 - Pretty nice, huh, guys? 24 00:01:41,834 --> 00:01:43,427 There's a TV, a microwave, 25 00:01:43,529 --> 00:01:45,531 and we have Bingo on Thursdays. 26 00:01:45,567 --> 00:01:47,671 - There has to be somewhere else we can live. 27 00:01:47,706 --> 00:01:48,932 - Come on, Stan. 28 00:01:49,034 --> 00:01:51,534 You have that space over there by Grandpa's shit pan. 29 00:01:51,603 --> 00:01:53,206 - You can't make me stay here. 30 00:01:53,241 --> 00:01:54,909 This is completely inhumane. 31 00:01:55,011 --> 00:01:56,612 - That's what I said! 32 00:01:56,715 --> 00:01:58,682 Didn't work. 33 00:02:14,762 --> 00:02:17,398 - OK, so then over here is where you're gonna have 34 00:02:17,467 --> 00:02:19,903 the big golden pillars that you guys wanted. 35 00:02:19,938 --> 00:02:21,234 - Ah, yeah! That's great! 36 00:02:21,303 --> 00:02:23,041 - OK, and then right over here 37 00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:24,970 is where we're gonna put your dance floor. 38 00:02:25,073 --> 00:02:26,237 - All right! 39 00:02:26,306 --> 00:02:27,904 - Wait, dance floor? 40 00:02:27,973 --> 00:02:30,243 I thought we were knocking the East Wing down 41 00:02:30,312 --> 00:02:33,081 to make room for the nursery. 42 00:02:33,150 --> 00:02:35,549 - The what? - The nursery! 43 00:02:35,584 --> 00:02:37,915 You said all this remodeling was for the baby, 44 00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:40,724 not to make room for more of your stupid parties. 45 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,558 - Hey, relax, guy! 46 00:02:42,593 --> 00:02:44,890 We can just stick the baby in the bathroom or something. 47 00:02:44,925 --> 00:02:49,767 - Wow! OK, so obviously I have no say in this remodel. 48 00:02:49,802 --> 00:02:50,994 - Mr. President, sir. 49 00:02:51,096 --> 00:02:54,137 I'm very sorry, but we need to speak with you urgently. 50 00:02:54,239 --> 00:02:56,102 It's a matter of national security. 51 00:02:59,641 --> 00:03:02,605 We don't want to frighten you, Mr. President, 52 00:03:02,674 --> 00:03:05,108 but we've received intelligence 53 00:03:05,177 --> 00:03:10,246 that someone might be trying to stop your baby from being born. 54 00:03:10,281 --> 00:03:11,620 - What? 55 00:03:11,689 --> 00:03:13,350 Who? 56 00:03:13,452 --> 00:03:15,618 - Hey! Relax, guy! 57 00:03:15,654 --> 00:03:17,523 - We don't know who yet, sir, 58 00:03:17,625 --> 00:03:19,856 but Pam Bondi has been looking into it. 59 00:03:19,958 --> 00:03:22,125 - That's right, sir, we won't let any harm 60 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:25,302 come to the baby of the greatest president that ever lived. 61 00:03:25,337 --> 00:03:26,830 You are without equal, sir— - Uh, hey, Pam. 62 00:03:26,932 --> 00:03:28,799 - And we are honored to be— Pam. Pam, sorry. 63 00:03:28,835 --> 00:03:31,136 You got a little shit on your nose there. 64 00:03:31,205 --> 00:03:33,975 - Oh, do I? 65 00:03:34,010 --> 00:03:34,977 Did I get it? 66 00:03:35,045 --> 00:03:36,377 - No, it's still there. 67 00:03:36,479 --> 00:03:38,816 - If someone is trying to harm the baby, 68 00:03:38,884 --> 00:03:40,447 then we must know who. 69 00:03:40,482 --> 00:03:43,985 - Well, there is... one theory. 70 00:03:46,492 --> 00:03:50,822 Some people believe that by demolishing the East Wing, 71 00:03:50,857 --> 00:03:56,160 we may have unleashed some sort of... wrath. 72 00:03:57,397 --> 00:04:00,363 - What kind of wrath? 73 00:04:00,465 --> 00:04:02,837 - Vengeful... 74 00:04:02,905 --> 00:04:04,038 wrath. 75 00:04:18,419 --> 00:04:20,190 - What the hell is going on? 76 00:04:20,225 --> 00:04:22,656 I was supposed to be in Washington. 77 00:04:22,692 --> 00:04:25,426 - There has been a change in plan, Mr. Thiel. 78 00:04:25,528 --> 00:04:28,764 They are on to us at the White House. 79 00:04:28,866 --> 00:04:30,032 - But how? 80 00:04:30,067 --> 00:04:31,861 How did they find out? 81 00:04:31,896 --> 00:04:34,102 - Someone must have heard us talking. 82 00:04:34,204 --> 00:04:36,367 Do you still have the child? 83 00:04:36,403 --> 00:04:37,667 - Yes, he's here. 84 00:04:37,702 --> 00:04:39,837 I have him heavily sedated. 85 00:04:39,872 --> 00:04:42,539 It should last another six, seven hours. 86 00:04:43,949 --> 00:04:45,215 Six, seven! 87 00:04:45,284 --> 00:04:47,284 - But I can't keep him here forever. 88 00:04:47,386 --> 00:04:50,881 - You'll just have to wait until it is safe. 89 00:04:50,917 --> 00:04:54,722 I think some brownnoser here is after my job. 90 00:05:05,902 --> 00:05:07,099 - Hey. 91 00:05:07,202 --> 00:05:09,066 Come on in. 92 00:05:13,072 --> 00:05:15,774 You guys can't tell anybody that I'm living here. 93 00:05:15,877 --> 00:05:17,743 - Stan, you shouldn't be embarrassed, all right? 94 00:05:17,778 --> 00:05:19,447 Everyone's having a hard time right now. 95 00:05:19,549 --> 00:05:21,250 - Yeah, everyone's having a hard time. 96 00:05:21,319 --> 00:05:22,549 And you know what the problem is? 97 00:05:22,584 --> 00:05:24,120 Nobody's doing anything about it. 98 00:05:24,222 --> 00:05:25,388 How many weeks has it been now, 99 00:05:25,424 --> 00:05:27,382 dealing with one stupid thing after another? 100 00:05:27,418 --> 00:05:30,258 The truth is, I think a lot of people are just afraid to admit 101 00:05:30,293 --> 00:05:33,392 that South Park sucks now. 102 00:05:33,427 --> 00:05:34,762 - South Park sucks now? 103 00:05:34,797 --> 00:05:36,762 - Yeah, everyone knows it. South Park sucks now. 104 00:05:36,798 --> 00:05:38,732 And it's because of all this political shit. 105 00:05:38,767 --> 00:05:40,797 We're just getting totally bogged down in it. 106 00:05:40,899 --> 00:05:42,839 Remember when we used to do stuff? 107 00:05:42,941 --> 00:05:43,967 Just us guys? 108 00:05:44,070 --> 00:05:45,776 Ever since all this political crap took over, 109 00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,275 it's like—what? 110 00:05:47,311 --> 00:05:48,610 Like—like what happened to us? 111 00:05:48,679 --> 00:05:50,244 Like, Kenny, I haven't even heard you say anything 112 00:05:50,279 --> 00:05:51,981 in, like, four months. 113 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:54,777 - You see? That's what I mean! 114 00:05:54,846 --> 00:05:56,311 We don't even know what to say. 115 00:05:56,413 --> 00:05:58,751 South Park's getting ruined, and all of us Gen Alpha kids 116 00:05:58,787 --> 00:06:00,356 are just sitting here, watching it happen. 117 00:06:00,458 --> 00:06:02,486 - You're right, dude. - Yeah! 118 00:06:02,588 --> 00:06:03,989 - But what do we do? 119 00:06:05,526 --> 00:06:07,795 - I know exactly what to do. 120 00:06:09,466 --> 00:06:10,760 Hey, guys, are you sick and tired 121 00:06:10,796 --> 00:06:12,028 of what's happening to our town? 122 00:06:12,131 --> 00:06:14,438 Do you feel like it's broken and going nowhere? 123 00:06:14,474 --> 00:06:16,203 Then click below and join our online community 124 00:06:16,305 --> 00:06:17,637 at South Park Sucks Now. 125 00:06:17,672 --> 00:06:19,001 Things are clearly not right here, 126 00:06:19,103 --> 00:06:20,604 and if you're like us, you are fed up! 127 00:06:20,639 --> 00:06:22,007 - South Park Sucks Now! 128 00:06:22,109 --> 00:06:24,478 - So please, like and subscribe, smash the button, upvote— 129 00:06:24,547 --> 00:06:25,647 whatever the hell you need to do, 130 00:06:25,682 --> 00:06:28,984 because together, we can make a difference. 131 00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:36,822 Mr. President, we don't want you to be afraid. 132 00:06:36,891 --> 00:06:40,192 Tell us exactly what it is you think you saw. 133 00:06:41,798 --> 00:06:44,163 - Ever since I tore down the East Wing, there's... 134 00:06:44,232 --> 00:06:45,970 this thing 135 00:06:46,005 --> 00:06:48,697 that keeps appearing. 136 00:06:48,799 --> 00:06:51,571 - What kind of thing? 137 00:06:51,673 --> 00:06:53,977 - Sometimes I see it in a mirror. 138 00:06:54,013 --> 00:06:55,711 Or in the hallway. 139 00:06:55,813 --> 00:06:57,809 President Trump, you are an incredible man. 140 00:06:57,844 --> 00:07:00,012 Whatever this is, we have your back. 141 00:07:00,047 --> 00:07:02,513 - Uh, Pam. Pam, you got some shit on your nose again. 142 00:07:02,548 --> 00:07:04,487 - Oh, really? 143 00:07:04,523 --> 00:07:07,190 - Mr. President, this entity you speak of, 144 00:07:07,226 --> 00:07:08,853 how many times has it appeared? 145 00:07:08,921 --> 00:07:11,589 - It appears more and more lately. 146 00:07:11,691 --> 00:07:13,327 I-I can't get away from it. 147 00:07:13,362 --> 00:07:14,590 It's everywhere I go. 148 00:07:16,093 --> 00:07:18,529 It's here right now. 149 00:07:18,564 --> 00:07:20,068 In the corner. 150 00:07:24,509 --> 00:07:27,778 - I'm pretty sure that's your wife, sir. 151 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:29,443 - My wife? 152 00:07:29,546 --> 00:07:31,079 What does it want? 153 00:07:33,948 --> 00:07:36,554 - Maybe it's somehow trying to communicate. 154 00:07:36,589 --> 00:07:38,716 Don't worry, we won't let anything happen to you. 155 00:07:38,785 --> 00:07:40,421 - Ah! Where did Pam Bondi go? 156 00:07:40,524 --> 00:07:42,589 - What? - Pam Bondi! She's gone! 157 00:07:42,691 --> 00:07:44,225 - But she was sitting right here! 158 00:07:44,293 --> 00:07:45,259 - Pam? - Pam? 159 00:07:45,361 --> 00:07:46,755 - Where's Pam Bondi? 160 00:07:46,857 --> 00:07:48,123 - I'm right here, sir! 161 00:07:48,225 --> 00:07:50,797 - Look, it's back. - What's back? 162 00:07:50,899 --> 00:07:52,532 - You've got some shit on your nose again. 163 00:07:52,568 --> 00:07:55,031 - Oh, my God! What is going on? 164 00:07:55,067 --> 00:07:56,937 - That thing! It's not there anymore. 165 00:07:59,911 --> 00:08:01,205 Ah! 166 00:08:08,748 --> 00:08:10,053 PA: Good morning, seniors. 167 00:08:10,088 --> 00:08:11,720 It's 6:30 a.m. 168 00:08:11,755 --> 00:08:14,090 Rise and shine for your morning medication. 169 00:08:14,159 --> 00:08:15,920 - Ugh, God, 6:30? 170 00:08:15,989 --> 00:08:18,090 - Yeah, it fucking sucks, doesn't it? 171 00:08:26,169 --> 00:08:27,431 - Holy shit. 172 00:08:27,466 --> 00:08:28,498 - What? 173 00:08:28,601 --> 00:08:30,272 - Holy shit. 174 00:08:30,307 --> 00:08:33,168 756,000 likes, you guys. 175 00:08:33,270 --> 00:08:35,404 We just built a massive online community. 176 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:37,946 - Wow. I can't believe how many people agree with us. 177 00:08:38,015 --> 00:08:40,117 - I thought we could get 50 or 60 kids from school to sign up, 178 00:08:40,152 --> 00:08:41,276 but this is incredible. 179 00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:42,779 - All right, we've got everyone's attention. 180 00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:43,916 So what do we do now? 181 00:08:43,951 --> 00:08:45,782 - What do you mean, dude? It's obvious. 182 00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:47,452 It's time for phase two. 183 00:08:49,955 --> 00:08:51,990 Hey, guys, if you've come here, 184 00:08:52,093 --> 00:08:54,093 then you're likely joining the chorus of voices 185 00:08:54,128 --> 00:08:56,663 that's fed up with the direction our town is going. 186 00:08:56,765 --> 00:08:59,368 We all want change in our community. 187 00:08:59,470 --> 00:09:01,271 And now there's an opportunity 188 00:09:01,307 --> 00:09:03,268 to truly make your voices heard. 189 00:09:03,303 --> 00:09:07,677 Introducing the South Park Sucks Now cryptocurrency coin. 190 00:09:07,779 --> 00:09:09,647 This digital meme token is your way to be a part 191 00:09:09,682 --> 00:09:11,441 of the fastest-growing community in America. 192 00:09:11,476 --> 00:09:13,776 This used to be a great town before all the politics came 193 00:09:13,812 --> 00:09:14,977 and ruined it all. 194 00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:16,453 Get in on our crypto meme coin 195 00:09:16,488 --> 00:09:18,155 with this incredible presale offer. 196 00:09:18,223 --> 00:09:19,623 Each coin is just $9.95, 197 00:09:19,658 --> 00:09:21,355 but could be worth ten times that overnight! 198 00:09:21,457 --> 00:09:22,821 - Wait, a meme coin? 199 00:09:22,890 --> 00:09:24,321 - Do you want South Park to change? 200 00:09:24,356 --> 00:09:27,464 Then order your coin today at SouthParkSucksNow.com. 201 00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:28,631 Stan Marsh is not a financial advisor 202 00:09:28,667 --> 00:09:29,664 affiliated with any financial institution. 203 00:09:29,699 --> 00:09:30,632 Digital assets are highly volatile 204 00:09:30,667 --> 00:09:31,631 and may involve significant risk, 205 00:09:31,666 --> 00:09:32,732 including loss of all funds. 206 00:09:32,834 --> 00:09:34,134 Ownership of South Park Sucks Now Coin 207 00:09:34,169 --> 00:09:35,164 does not represent equity, profit sharing, or ownership 208 00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:36,531 of any company platform or project. 209 00:09:36,633 --> 00:09:37,838 Participation is voluntary and should only be undertaken 210 00:09:37,874 --> 00:09:38,838 by individuals who fully understand the risks 211 00:09:38,907 --> 00:09:40,038 associated with block chain assets. 212 00:09:40,141 --> 00:09:41,338 South Park Sucks Now Coin is not registered with 213 00:09:41,406 --> 00:09:42,912 or regulated by the SEC or any financial authority. 214 00:09:43,014 --> 00:09:44,242 Please review all disclosures and consult a licensed financial 215 00:09:44,344 --> 00:09:45,177 advisor before engaging in digital asset transactions. 216 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:37,231 - Ahh! 217 00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:38,366 Ah, fuck! 218 00:10:38,401 --> 00:10:39,897 Fuck! - What? 219 00:10:39,932 --> 00:10:42,570 - It's the Woman in the Hat! 220 00:10:42,606 --> 00:10:43,900 - What are you talking about? 221 00:10:43,935 --> 00:10:45,067 - The Woman in the Hat! 222 00:10:45,136 --> 00:10:47,602 She's in the fucking bathroom! 223 00:10:50,076 --> 00:10:51,878 - We've double checked everything, sir. 224 00:10:51,913 --> 00:10:53,548 All the exterior doors are locked. 225 00:10:53,584 --> 00:10:55,385 No windows have been breached. 226 00:10:55,421 --> 00:10:56,817 - And yet the president swears 227 00:10:56,919 --> 00:10:58,421 something was in the room with him. 228 00:10:58,457 --> 00:10:59,750 - Is he going to be all right? 229 00:10:59,785 --> 00:11:01,259 - Pretty shaken. 230 00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:02,418 Pam Bondi is in there now 231 00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:04,326 trying to calm him down and make him feel better. 232 00:11:06,397 --> 00:11:08,230 Pam? 233 00:11:08,266 --> 00:11:09,561 Oh, my God! 234 00:11:17,409 --> 00:11:20,008 - Stan, what are we doing? 235 00:11:20,110 --> 00:11:22,445 - What do you mean, dude? We're trying to change things. 236 00:11:22,513 --> 00:11:24,573 - By selling cryptocurrency? 237 00:11:24,608 --> 00:11:26,509 - What's wrong with trying to make a little money 238 00:11:26,611 --> 00:11:28,916 while also pointing out the things wrong with our town? 239 00:11:28,952 --> 00:11:30,112 Yeah, what's wrong with that? 240 00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:31,348 - I have to do something, Kyle. 241 00:11:31,450 --> 00:11:33,448 I'm nine years old and I live in a retirement home. 242 00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:35,926 - And you really think crypto is your way out? 243 00:11:35,961 --> 00:11:38,258 Do you even know anything about how that stuff works? 244 00:11:38,293 --> 00:11:40,991 - Well, actually, we have a really strong crypto advisor— 245 00:11:41,093 --> 00:11:43,495 your cousin on the east coast. 246 00:11:43,598 --> 00:11:45,268 - My cousin? 247 00:11:45,303 --> 00:11:47,299 - I'm back! 248 00:11:47,335 --> 00:11:48,997 All right, looks like we've got a lot of movement 249 00:11:49,099 --> 00:11:50,373 on your coin, boys. 250 00:11:50,475 --> 00:11:51,799 The presale really popped. 251 00:11:51,868 --> 00:11:54,103 We cleared 100 grand in volume before liquidity even locked. 252 00:11:54,139 --> 00:11:55,844 The token's really got traction. 253 00:11:55,947 --> 00:11:58,046 - And we don't ever have to pay anything, right? 254 00:11:58,148 --> 00:12:00,483 - Nope, you never pay anything. You guys created the coin, 255 00:12:00,552 --> 00:12:01,647 so all you do is profit from it. 256 00:12:01,716 --> 00:12:03,187 - See? I told you. 257 00:12:04,481 --> 00:12:05,887 - Now we just need to keep creating hype 258 00:12:05,989 --> 00:12:07,649 around the South Park Sucks Now digital coin, 259 00:12:07,718 --> 00:12:09,855 so we need to come up with things to give people FOMO 260 00:12:09,957 --> 00:12:11,826 and make them ape even harder. 261 00:12:11,894 --> 00:12:13,825 - You guys, this isn't about a coin. 262 00:12:13,893 --> 00:12:15,563 It's about a movement. 263 00:12:15,665 --> 00:12:16,829 - Oh, that's really good. 264 00:12:16,898 --> 00:12:18,165 - Yeah, yeah, that's perfect. 265 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:19,901 "This isn't about a coin. It's about a movement." 266 00:12:20,003 --> 00:12:22,169 Yeah, that's some savvy Jew Jitsu right there. 267 00:12:22,237 --> 00:12:23,472 - So what kind of time frame are we looking at 268 00:12:23,507 --> 00:12:24,507 to get our money? 269 00:12:24,543 --> 00:12:25,875 I need it as fast as possible. 270 00:12:25,977 --> 00:12:27,673 - Well, I think we're looking at a classic rug pull 271 00:12:27,742 --> 00:12:28,844 in just a few days. 272 00:12:28,912 --> 00:12:30,343 Once we pump the coin high as it'll go, 273 00:12:30,379 --> 00:12:32,375 then I can register for an MSB with the federal government. 274 00:12:32,477 --> 00:12:34,748 - The federal government? That sounds hard. 275 00:12:34,850 --> 00:12:36,349 - Oh, no, it's gonna be easy. 276 00:12:36,418 --> 00:12:38,516 The crypto corruption at the White House is off the chain. 277 00:12:38,551 --> 00:12:40,357 We're gonna screw a lot of people out of their money, boys. 278 00:12:40,392 --> 00:12:42,189 It's gonna be fantastic. 279 00:12:53,699 --> 00:12:55,903 - Yes? 280 00:12:56,005 --> 00:12:58,873 - Uh, yes, we're paranormal investigators. 281 00:12:58,942 --> 00:13:00,510 We've been asked to come and investigate 282 00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:03,610 the mysterious Woman in the Hat. 283 00:13:03,712 --> 00:13:07,212 - I am Stephen Miller, 284 00:13:07,281 --> 00:13:09,715 Senior Advisor to the President for Immigration 285 00:13:09,784 --> 00:13:11,419 and Domestic Policy. 286 00:13:14,018 --> 00:13:15,224 Won't you... 287 00:13:15,293 --> 00:13:17,928 come in? 288 00:13:22,298 --> 00:13:24,430 Oh, my God, it's incredible. 289 00:13:24,532 --> 00:13:28,097 Subject is showing some kind of viscous residue on her nose. 290 00:13:28,199 --> 00:13:30,235 - Well, what the fuck is it? 291 00:13:30,304 --> 00:13:32,739 - Sometimes there's a physical manifestation 292 00:13:32,774 --> 00:13:34,207 of spiritual energy— 293 00:13:34,243 --> 00:13:37,145 a bridge between the spiritual world and ours. 294 00:13:37,247 --> 00:13:41,449 In this case, it appears to be some kind of rectoplasm. 295 00:13:41,551 --> 00:13:43,046 - Rectoplasm? 296 00:13:43,081 --> 00:13:44,651 - What is it made of? 297 00:13:44,753 --> 00:13:46,088 - It's unbelievable! 298 00:13:46,124 --> 00:13:49,622 The rectoplasm seems to be 54% Filet-O-Fish sandwich! 299 00:13:49,724 --> 00:13:50,926 - Oh, my God! 300 00:13:50,962 --> 00:13:52,990 I ate a Filet-O-Fish sandwich last night! 301 00:13:53,092 --> 00:13:54,892 - Jesus! - And it's also... 302 00:13:54,927 --> 00:13:57,432 28% Taco Bell. 303 00:13:57,501 --> 00:13:58,832 - Oh, my God! 304 00:13:58,934 --> 00:14:00,899 I ate Taco Bell this morning! 305 00:14:00,934 --> 00:14:02,231 - What does it mean? 306 00:14:02,266 --> 00:14:06,234 - And it's 14% its own cum. 307 00:14:06,270 --> 00:14:09,276 - Oh, my God! I ate— 308 00:14:13,618 --> 00:14:16,446 Hey! Pam! Deal with them! 309 00:14:16,515 --> 00:14:21,123 This is a Fox News Super Alert! 310 00:14:21,191 --> 00:14:23,926 - Two paranormal investigators were indicted today 311 00:14:23,961 --> 00:14:26,789 on federal charges of falsifying data. 312 00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:29,830 The president said that the bad people manipulated readings 313 00:14:29,932 --> 00:14:32,299 and reports to make fake news. 314 00:14:32,335 --> 00:14:35,630 The charges were filed by Attorney General Pam Bondi, 315 00:14:35,699 --> 00:14:38,302 who said that "the President is a great man, 316 00:14:38,371 --> 00:14:40,673 even if he does eat his own semen." 317 00:14:40,775 --> 00:14:42,044 In other news, 318 00:14:42,146 --> 00:14:44,846 many people are saying that South Park sucks now. 319 00:14:44,948 --> 00:14:46,709 The small mountain town in Colorado 320 00:14:46,811 --> 00:14:49,817 has been a hotbed of political activity in recent weeks, 321 00:14:49,853 --> 00:14:51,654 and three local Gen Alpha boys 322 00:14:51,723 --> 00:14:54,189 are vowing to put a stop to it. 323 00:14:54,988 --> 00:14:56,656 - OK, we're mooning. 324 00:14:56,725 --> 00:14:58,155 We're mooning... 325 00:14:58,191 --> 00:14:59,524 All right, that's gotta be it. 326 00:14:59,626 --> 00:15:01,663 OK, we're done mooning. I think we're ready to dump. 327 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:03,832 OK, sounds good. 328 00:15:03,901 --> 00:15:06,002 I'm on the Acela train right now. 329 00:15:06,038 --> 00:15:08,870 I should be in DC by 6:30 to meet with Don Jr. 330 00:15:08,972 --> 00:15:10,071 Once I get White House approval, 331 00:15:10,173 --> 00:15:11,641 we should be able to do the rug pull. 332 00:15:11,676 --> 00:15:14,739 - I'm out, dude. - Kyle? 333 00:15:14,842 --> 00:15:16,574 Kyle, wait! 334 00:15:17,715 --> 00:15:19,015 Dude, you can't quit now. 335 00:15:19,051 --> 00:15:20,414 Do you know how much money we're about to make? 336 00:15:20,516 --> 00:15:23,182 - I thought you were sick of the way South Park was going, Stan. 337 00:15:23,218 --> 00:15:25,081 - I am! - So then why are you trying 338 00:15:25,183 --> 00:15:26,351 to engineer a rug pull 339 00:15:26,420 --> 00:15:27,923 in conjunction with the federal government? 340 00:15:28,025 --> 00:15:30,561 - Bro, it's the world we live in, OK? 341 00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:31,990 I mean, at least we're being men 342 00:15:32,025 --> 00:15:33,357 and taking some control. 343 00:15:33,426 --> 00:15:35,327 Look at Kenny, he—he's doing stuff now! 344 00:15:35,362 --> 00:15:36,694 Yeah, dude, I'm doing stuff! 345 00:15:36,763 --> 00:15:39,601 - I know it sucks to be living in an old folks home, Stan, 346 00:15:39,703 --> 00:15:40,705 but you can't fix things 347 00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:42,501 if you're only thinking about yourself. 348 00:16:05,022 --> 00:16:07,593 - Yes? 349 00:16:07,695 --> 00:16:10,695 - Uh, yes, I'm with the South Park Sucks Now cryptocurrency. 350 00:16:10,730 --> 00:16:12,568 We're trying to fuck a bunch of people out of their money. 351 00:16:12,637 --> 00:16:14,067 Is Don Jr. around? 352 00:16:14,136 --> 00:16:17,637 - Ah, yes, he's been expecting you. 353 00:16:17,740 --> 00:16:19,637 Do come in. 354 00:16:25,742 --> 00:16:28,049 - Oh, Jesus, it's a little drafty in here. 355 00:16:28,085 --> 00:16:30,749 - You'll have to excuse the conditions. 356 00:16:30,784 --> 00:16:34,149 The master has taken down the East Wing and unleashed a wrath. 357 00:16:39,060 --> 00:16:40,623 - Oh, Jesus! It's a mummy! 358 00:16:40,725 --> 00:16:43,832 - No, no, that's just the head of the FCC. 359 00:16:43,934 --> 00:16:46,095 He's lost his freedom of speech. 360 00:16:47,906 --> 00:16:52,938 - Come. Don Jr. is... this way. 361 00:16:58,282 --> 00:17:00,346 - Thanks so much for taking my meeting, Don Jr. 362 00:17:00,448 --> 00:17:02,283 We've got an incredible crypto opportunity here 363 00:17:02,318 --> 00:17:04,281 and we just need your help taking a big dump. 364 00:17:04,316 --> 00:17:05,683 - That sounds really great. 365 00:17:05,785 --> 00:17:08,686 There's nothing I like better than a big crypto dump. 366 00:17:08,788 --> 00:17:10,752 - So sorry I had to bug you this late in the evening, 367 00:17:10,787 --> 00:17:12,759 but time really is of the essence here. 368 00:17:15,266 --> 00:17:18,127 - We need everyone to gather in the dining room. 369 00:17:18,163 --> 00:17:19,702 Immediately. 370 00:17:19,804 --> 00:17:22,365 - In the dining room? Why? 371 00:17:22,467 --> 00:17:24,942 - We are going to have a séance. 372 00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:28,811 It's time to confront the spirit here. 373 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,844 - The—the spirit? What spirit? 374 00:17:38,188 --> 00:17:39,381 - Yeah, I can see the price is going down. 375 00:17:39,483 --> 00:17:40,890 What the hell is he doing? 376 00:17:40,992 --> 00:17:42,188 He's not answering? 377 00:17:42,290 --> 00:17:43,189 Hello, you've reached 378 00:17:43,291 --> 00:17:44,524 Pump and Dump Crypto Advisors. 379 00:17:44,626 --> 00:17:46,456 Let us know how we can help you fuck people over. 380 00:17:46,492 --> 00:17:48,666 Just leave a message. 381 00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:50,025 - Dude, what is going on? 382 00:17:50,127 --> 00:17:52,829 Our token's value totally peaked and it's starting to go down. 383 00:17:52,898 --> 00:17:54,396 Whatever approval you have to get at the White House, 384 00:17:54,498 --> 00:17:55,967 we need it now! 385 00:17:56,003 --> 00:17:57,002 God damn it! 386 00:17:59,176 --> 00:18:02,237 - I don't know, Kenny, OK? Shut up already! 387 00:18:07,183 --> 00:18:09,185 - Oh, Jesus, this is a little creepy. 388 00:18:09,220 --> 00:18:11,848 Are we having dinner? I'm allergic to dairy. 389 00:18:11,883 --> 00:18:14,985 - Everyone, please put your hands on the table. 390 00:18:18,888 --> 00:18:23,098 I am speaking to the entity in this house. 391 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:24,760 - Is this a good time to talk turkey? 392 00:18:24,862 --> 00:18:27,263 I just need to go over some quick business. 393 00:18:27,365 --> 00:18:30,037 - We know you are sad. 394 00:18:30,072 --> 00:18:32,539 We know you are... lonely. 395 00:18:32,607 --> 00:18:36,908 But we must ask you to leave our president alone. 396 00:18:39,579 --> 00:18:42,282 - Oh, my God, this is really scary. 397 00:18:42,384 --> 00:18:44,716 The President is a great man, 398 00:18:44,784 --> 00:18:48,558 and he does not deserve to be tormented like this. 399 00:18:48,594 --> 00:18:50,186 - Pam! Pam! 400 00:18:50,221 --> 00:18:52,221 - Oh! Oh. 401 00:18:52,290 --> 00:18:54,456 Restless spirit, 402 00:18:54,558 --> 00:18:57,700 we only wish to communicate! 403 00:19:00,237 --> 00:19:02,605 - Holy shit! She's right fucking there! 404 00:19:02,707 --> 00:19:03,971 - What is that? 405 00:19:04,073 --> 00:19:07,874 Deception! 406 00:19:07,909 --> 00:19:10,541 Deception! 407 00:19:10,576 --> 00:19:12,807 - Boss, maybe we should stop this. 408 00:19:12,909 --> 00:19:15,079 - No! I wanna hear what it has to say. 409 00:19:17,116 --> 00:19:19,485 Epstein! 410 00:19:19,587 --> 00:19:21,216 - Uh, no, no. You're right. Let's stop this. 411 00:19:21,251 --> 00:19:22,922 - You! 412 00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:26,794 - What? You? 413 00:19:26,896 --> 00:19:27,794 What did he do? 414 00:19:27,896 --> 00:19:30,426 - He lies! 415 00:19:30,494 --> 00:19:32,767 - Oh, you fucking bitch! 416 00:19:32,836 --> 00:19:35,133 - Corruption! 417 00:19:35,235 --> 00:19:36,601 - She's not possessed! 418 00:19:36,669 --> 00:19:39,774 Pam Bondi's trying to get my fucking job! 419 00:19:41,912 --> 00:19:43,238 - Oh, I can't do this! 420 00:19:43,273 --> 00:19:44,339 - Lies! 421 00:19:46,313 --> 00:19:47,847 - I gotta get out of here! 422 00:19:49,184 --> 00:19:50,783 - Oh, God! 423 00:19:50,852 --> 00:19:52,621 Oh! 424 00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:56,456 OK! OK! It's all true! 425 00:19:56,524 --> 00:19:59,020 We've been dealing in deception and lies! 426 00:19:59,122 --> 00:20:01,696 We've all been getting filthy rich off of crypto! 427 00:20:01,798 --> 00:20:02,591 Oh, Jesus. 428 00:20:02,627 --> 00:20:04,530 We've lied and we've cheated. 429 00:20:04,633 --> 00:20:06,298 Crypto's just a giant money laundering scheme 430 00:20:06,333 --> 00:20:07,299 for the rich to get richer. 431 00:20:07,368 --> 00:20:09,100 Please don't haunt us anymore! 432 00:20:09,136 --> 00:20:10,301 We're sorry. 433 00:20:10,336 --> 00:20:13,307 We're all very sorry! 434 00:20:13,375 --> 00:20:16,712 This is a Fox News! 435 00:20:16,814 --> 00:20:19,515 Agh! America! 436 00:20:19,617 --> 00:20:22,812 - A massive crypto fraud has been exposed at the White House, 437 00:20:22,847 --> 00:20:25,454 and the perpetrator has been indicted. 438 00:20:25,489 --> 00:20:27,982 A ghostly wrath that was unleashed in the East Wing 439 00:20:28,051 --> 00:20:30,823 exposed the traitor at a séance last night. 440 00:20:30,892 --> 00:20:34,827 The traitor is now behind bars and serving 10 years for fraud. 441 00:20:34,862 --> 00:20:38,531 Charges, of course, were once again filed by Pam Bondi, 442 00:20:38,633 --> 00:20:41,833 who said, "We will continue to indict anyone 443 00:20:41,868 --> 00:20:45,302 who says bad stuff about our amazing president." 444 00:20:49,173 --> 00:20:51,845 I'm sorry, Kyle. I should have listened to you. 445 00:20:54,483 --> 00:20:56,986 I guess there just no really going back 446 00:20:57,022 --> 00:20:59,989 to the way things used to be. 447 00:21:00,025 --> 00:21:01,519 - Things will get back, Stan. 448 00:21:01,588 --> 00:21:02,685 I know it's hard to see right now, 449 00:21:02,754 --> 00:21:05,692 but things will go back to normal. 450 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:08,193 And in the meantime, we just have to make the most 451 00:21:08,228 --> 00:21:09,859 of where we are. 452 00:21:14,066 --> 00:21:17,035 - All right, seniors, just move with the rhythm now. 453 00:21:21,707 --> 00:21:24,376 Good! Good, seniors. Nice!