1
00:00:37,864 --> 00:00:40,911
All right, people,
it's almost Thanksgiving,

2
00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:44,957
and that means the annual
Turkey Trot is nearly upon us.

3
00:00:45,088 --> 00:00:47,700
How is it that we haven't found
one sponsor

4
00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:49,920
to help pay for this event?

5
00:00:49,962 --> 00:00:52,575
South Park's just fallen
on hard times, Mayor.

6
00:00:52,704 --> 00:00:54,359
Nobody's got the money.

7
00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:57,231
Tegridy Farms used to be
a sponsor of the Turkey Trot,

8
00:00:57,362 --> 00:01:00,365
but as you know, we've recently
all lost Tegridy.

9
00:01:00,496 --> 00:01:02,541
So I'm afraid
we just can't help.

10
00:01:02,672 --> 00:01:04,935
What about
the City Asian Pop Up Store?

11
00:01:04,978 --> 00:01:07,242
Can't they help sponsor
this year's race?

12
00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:09,939
How City Asian Pop Up
pay for Turkey Trot?

13
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,593
We gotta pay tariff!

14
00:01:11,724 --> 00:01:13,552
We more fucked than anybody!

15
00:01:13,596 --> 00:01:15,772
Let's just face it, Mayor,
South Park businesses

16
00:01:15,901 --> 00:01:19,079
are dying and a lot of good
people have lost their jobs.

17
00:01:19,123 --> 00:01:21,820
Trash?
Anybody got trash?

18
00:01:21,951 --> 00:01:24,606
Oh, yeah, here's some.
Bank shot!

19
00:01:24,736 --> 00:01:27,740
There has to be a solution,
people.

20
00:01:27,826 --> 00:01:29,915
The Turkey Trot is
the one time of year

21
00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:32,353
this town comes together
as a community.

22
00:01:32,484 --> 00:01:35,008
We all need it now,
more than ever.

23
00:01:35,139 --> 00:01:37,794
Well, of course,
there is someone

24
00:01:37,924 --> 00:01:40,752
who'd be willing to give
South Park a bunch of money.

25
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I mean, they're giving money
to everyone else.

26
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Why not us?

27
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My God.

28
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That's it!

29
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This Thanksgiving morning,

30
00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:02,644
lace up for holiday fun
and tradition.

31
00:02:02,775 --> 00:02:05,995
It's the 28th annual
South Park Turkey Trot.

32
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,344
Sponsored by...

33
00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:08,955
Saudi Arabia!

34
00:02:15,788 --> 00:02:18,181
It's a 5K race
absolutely stuffed

35
00:02:18,313 --> 00:02:19,923
with Thanksgiving traditions.

36
00:02:21,794 --> 00:02:23,360
And the first one across
the finish line

37
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wins their team $5,000!

38
00:02:33,241 --> 00:02:35,242
Sign up your team now!

39
00:02:35,373 --> 00:02:37,722
All ages are welcome!

40
00:02:37,854 --> 00:02:39,855
Disparaging remarks towards
the Saudi Royal family

41
00:02:39,986 --> 00:02:41,987
are strictly prohibited.

42
00:02:42,032 --> 00:02:45,688
Start your Thanksgiving with
this time-honored tradition.

43
00:02:45,818 --> 00:02:47,603
The South Park Turkey Trot.

44
00:02:55,611 --> 00:02:57,830
$5,000, you guys.

45
00:02:57,873 --> 00:02:59,354
The winner of this year's
Turkey Trot

46
00:02:59,396 --> 00:03:01,920
gets $5,000 from Saudi Arabia.

47
00:03:02,051 --> 00:03:04,402
Like, if anybody's gonna
get money from Saudi Arabia,

48
00:03:04,489 --> 00:03:05,794
it should be us.

49
00:03:08,667 --> 00:03:10,146
And just one person
has to win the race

50
00:03:10,277 --> 00:03:11,496
and your whole team
gets the money?

51
00:03:11,627 --> 00:03:13,411
- Yeah!
- Dude, that is crazy!

52
00:03:15,325 --> 00:03:17,153
We should just get a bunch
of kids on our team,

53
00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:19,068
and then the chances of one of
us winning is way better.

54
00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:21,245
Yeah, but then you gotta
split the prize money more ways.

55
00:03:21,376 --> 00:03:22,812
It's true, man.

56
00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:25,379
I say we keep our team to four,
five runners, max.

57
00:03:25,509 --> 00:03:27,294
Nobody said we wanted you
on the team.

58
00:03:27,425 --> 00:03:28,730
Yeah, you kinda slow us down.

59
00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:30,298
Oh, no, no, no, trust me.

60
00:03:30,427 --> 00:03:32,691
You want me on the racing team.

61
00:03:32,822 --> 00:03:35,520
I happen to be an expert
in race science, you guys.

62
00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:38,653
I know a way to give our team
an optimal winning advantage.

63
00:03:41,657 --> 00:03:42,614
Tolkien!

64
00:03:42,745 --> 00:03:43,832
Hey, man.

65
00:03:43,876 --> 00:03:45,051
Listen, I was, uh...

66
00:03:45,094 --> 00:03:46,575
I was just wondering whose team

67
00:03:46,705 --> 00:03:48,880
you're thinking of being on
for the big Turkey Trot.

68
00:03:48,925 --> 00:03:50,534
- Turkey Trot?
- You know, the big footrace

69
00:03:50,665 --> 00:03:51,971
Thanksgiving morning?

70
00:03:52,102 --> 00:03:54,322
First place wins 5,000 bucks
for his whole team.

71
00:03:54,451 --> 00:03:57,237
Oh.
I'm not really a runner.

72
00:03:57,281 --> 00:03:58,890
Yeah, right.

73
00:03:58,978 --> 00:04:00,457
Of course you're a runner,
Tolkien.

74
00:04:00,502 --> 00:04:02,591
Sorry, guys,
just give me one second.

75
00:04:02,721 --> 00:04:04,680
- What the hell is he doing?
- I don't know.

76
00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:05,897
All right, look, Tolkien,

77
00:04:05,942 --> 00:04:07,725
I'm a racing science expert, OK?

78
00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:09,859
The data shows your race
always wins races.

79
00:04:11,556 --> 00:04:13,296
Whoa, whoa, Tolkien.
Tolkien.

80
00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:15,080
Come on, man, it's Thanksgiving.

81
00:04:15,124 --> 00:04:16,431
If you don't want to race
for yourself,

82
00:04:16,561 --> 00:04:18,736
then do it for the needy...
Kenny and Stan.

83
00:04:18,868 --> 00:04:21,349
I mean, Stan's family
lost their home, dude.

84
00:04:21,392 --> 00:04:23,306
Those guys could really use
the money,

85
00:04:23,351 --> 00:04:25,265
and all the analytics show
that with you on the team,

86
00:04:25,308 --> 00:04:26,702
we can't lose.

87
00:04:26,744 --> 00:04:29,443
Could you... could you just do it
for Thanksgiving?

88
00:04:29,486 --> 00:04:31,097
All right, fine.

89
00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:33,011
Yes? He said yes!

90
00:04:38,017 --> 00:04:40,106
Jesus Christ, Mitch.

91
00:04:40,150 --> 00:04:43,239
A $5,000 prize
for the Turkey Trot?

92
00:04:43,371 --> 00:04:46,025
Everyone in town is gonna want
to do this race.

93
00:04:46,155 --> 00:04:48,592
I was kind of thinking of
signing the family up, sir.

94
00:04:48,636 --> 00:04:50,986
We could really use some of that
Saudi Arabian dough.

95
00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:52,857
Can't do it, Mitch.
We're gonna be busy on race day.

96
00:04:52,945 --> 00:04:54,164
Sir!

97
00:04:54,207 --> 00:04:55,556
The White house is calling
again.

98
00:04:55,686 --> 00:04:57,298
They're demanding
we release the prisoner.

99
00:04:57,385 --> 00:04:58,558
Tell them we're busy.

100
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But they said
if we don't comply,

101
00:05:00,169 --> 00:05:01,563
they're gonna send in
Pete Hegseth

102
00:05:01,693 --> 00:05:03,304
and the Department of War.

103
00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:05,522
Who's Pete Hegseth?

104
00:05:11,529 --> 00:05:13,878
Yeah! Yeah!

105
00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:17,969
Hey, what's up, guys?
This is Pete Hegseth

106
00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:19,623
with the Department of War!

107
00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:22,758
We're here to infiltrate this
police station and extract a POI

108
00:05:22,801 --> 00:05:25,500
'cause that's what we do!

109
00:05:26,936 --> 00:05:29,765
At ease, soldier!

110
00:05:29,852 --> 00:05:31,679
The President of
the United States orders you

111
00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:34,596
to release custody of the
prisoner to me immediately.

112
00:05:36,467 --> 00:05:40,253
I warned you
I had powerful friends.

113
00:05:40,383 --> 00:05:42,820
Yeah, well, Totoro still
has to be processed

114
00:05:42,952 --> 00:05:44,388
and seen by a judge.

115
00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:46,303
And we have a big Turkey Trot
to deal with,

116
00:05:46,347 --> 00:05:47,652
so it's gonna be a few days.

117
00:05:47,782 --> 00:05:49,784
Hey, man, I don't think
you understand.

118
00:05:49,871 --> 00:05:52,614
You're messing with
the Department of War!

119
00:05:52,743 --> 00:05:54,005
And we mean business.

120
00:05:54,049 --> 00:05:55,659
We don't stand down for anyone!

121
00:05:55,791 --> 00:05:57,008
Be sure to like and subscribe.

122
00:05:57,053 --> 00:05:58,575
All right, let's do this!

123
00:06:01,405 --> 00:06:04,452
All right, I certainly don't
want to tangle with you guys.

124
00:06:04,539 --> 00:06:07,236
How about you just push
the secret button in the floor

125
00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:10,414
over here and the jail cell
doors will all open.

126
00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:12,198
- The secret button?
- Yeah, it's in the floor.

127
00:06:12,328 --> 00:06:13,503
Right there, you see it?

128
00:06:13,635 --> 00:06:16,246
It's right... there it is!
- Ah, ah, ahh!

129
00:06:16,332 --> 00:06:18,595
Now get your little bitch ass
out of my town.

130
00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:20,250
Oh, you...

131
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,469
I dare you to do that again.

132
00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:38,049
OK, and did you already register

133
00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:39,616
your racing team online?

134
00:06:39,659 --> 00:06:41,880
Yeah, it's, uh, Jimbo and Ned.

135
00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:44,578
We're racing with
the Kiwanis Gun Club.

136
00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:46,231
Yes, here you go.

137
00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:48,058
Good luck with the race,
happy Thanksgiving,

138
00:06:48,147 --> 00:06:50,671
and.

139
00:06:50,801 --> 00:06:54,152
Uh, it's Mackey.
Mr. Mackey, mmkay.

140
00:06:54,284 --> 00:06:56,633
OK, Mr. Mackey,
and how many on your team?

141
00:06:56,678 --> 00:06:58,941
Oh, I'm not on no team, mmkay.

142
00:06:58,984 --> 00:07:02,248
I need that sweet Saudi Arabian
money all for myself.

143
00:07:02,292 --> 00:07:04,162
All right, guys,
we got our racing numbers.

144
00:07:04,294 --> 00:07:05,861
Damn, dude, there's so many
people signing up.

145
00:07:05,904 --> 00:07:06,948
How are we ever gonna win?

146
00:07:07,078 --> 00:07:08,123
Don't worry, you guys,

147
00:07:08,253 --> 00:07:09,734
I've been scoping out
the competition.

148
00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:11,518
That group over there
is the Rotary Club.

149
00:07:11,606 --> 00:07:13,390
They won last year, but
they're all, like, old now.

150
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,609
Over there is
the City Pop Up team.

151
00:07:15,739 --> 00:07:17,133
The race science says
they'll race smart,

152
00:07:17,263 --> 00:07:18,960
but not necessarily fast,
so we're good there.

153
00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:20,309
Oh, hey, Stan.

154
00:07:20,352 --> 00:07:21,746
You gonna do the Turkey Trot
this year?

155
00:07:21,876 --> 00:07:23,400
Yeah. You guys are too?

156
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:25,967
Hell yeah, we are!
$5,000!

157
00:07:26,097 --> 00:07:27,883
Oh, yeah, I'm sure
all four of you ladies

158
00:07:27,969 --> 00:07:29,972
have a really awesome chance
of winning.

159
00:07:30,102 --> 00:07:32,104
There's actually five of us.

160
00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:33,671
Hey, guys, what's up?

161
00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:37,892
Well, we'll see you at the race.

162
00:07:37,936 --> 00:07:39,633
All right, see ya!

163
00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:42,897
They're teaching race science
to girls now?

164
00:07:42,941 --> 00:07:45,030
What the hell kind of country
are we living in?

165
00:07:47,162 --> 00:07:48,469
Commitment!

166
00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:50,121
Strength!

167
00:07:50,207 --> 00:07:53,517
The ability to obliterate
our enemies!

168
00:07:53,647 --> 00:07:56,520
That is the Department of War!

169
00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:58,914
What's up, guys?
I'm Pete Hegseth.

170
00:07:59,001 --> 00:08:01,351
We're outside
this woke liberal town

171
00:08:01,393 --> 00:08:03,440
that is actually
defying our government,

172
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:05,659
and nobody defies
the Department of War!

173
00:08:05,789 --> 00:08:08,445
Pete Hegseth will do
whatever it takes!

174
00:08:08,575 --> 00:08:10,881
I'm here to kick bubblegum
and chew ass,

175
00:08:10,926 --> 00:08:12,883
and I'm all outta ass.

176
00:08:13,015 --> 00:08:15,364
I'll do whatever's necessary
to get the job done!

177
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,976
Oh, yeah, look at that!

178
00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:20,282
That's the President of the
United States calling me,

179
00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:21,327
right now!

180
00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:23,155
Yes, Mr. President?

181
00:08:23,285 --> 00:08:24,460
Hegseth!

182
00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:25,984
What the fuck are you doing?

183
00:08:26,114 --> 00:08:28,030
Did you get Peter Thiel?

184
00:08:28,159 --> 00:08:30,640
No, sir, we were unable
to extract the prisoner.

185
00:08:30,772 --> 00:08:33,557
We were met with resistance from
the woke local police force.

186
00:08:33,601 --> 00:08:36,212
God damn it,
we gave you one job to do.

187
00:08:36,342 --> 00:08:38,996
We need Peter Thiel here
at the White house.

188
00:08:39,126 --> 00:08:40,607
Sir, yes, sir!

189
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:42,827
I'm gonna need the full might
of the Department of War!

190
00:08:42,871 --> 00:08:45,481
I'll need all our tanks
and guns and dudes!

191
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,962
Then you've got it.

192
00:08:47,005 --> 00:08:49,746
Just get us the prisoner,
no matter what it takes!

193
00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:51,270
Hell yeah!

194
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,968
And Hegseth, don't just make
a bunch of content.

195
00:08:54,055 --> 00:08:56,711
Like, actually go
and do something.

196
00:08:59,365 --> 00:09:00,932
Be sure to like
and subscribe, guys.

197
00:09:01,063 --> 00:09:03,544
Yes, sir, Mr. President!
I will make this town pay!

198
00:09:04,980 --> 00:09:07,285
God, he is such a douchebag.

199
00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:11,203
All right, men, we'll have
a full army here by tomorrow.

200
00:09:11,246 --> 00:09:13,379
And then that smalltown cop

201
00:09:13,423 --> 00:09:16,381
is gonna see
he messed with the wrong guy.

202
00:09:26,044 --> 00:09:28,264
It's the morning
of the big race,

203
00:09:28,394 --> 00:09:30,788
and all of South Park
appears to have turned out

204
00:09:30,875 --> 00:09:33,095
in the spirit of community.

205
00:09:33,225 --> 00:09:34,879
People are putting on
their numbers

206
00:09:35,010 --> 00:09:38,317
and rocking out
their festive costumes.

207
00:09:38,448 --> 00:09:40,231
I'm with Police Chief Harris,

208
00:09:40,275 --> 00:09:42,799
and Chief, your guys have been
working overtime.

209
00:09:42,843 --> 00:09:44,627
Yeah, well,
we just want to make sure

210
00:09:44,672 --> 00:09:47,195
everyone has a safe
Thanksgiving morning.

211
00:09:47,239 --> 00:09:49,807
We want people to stay hydrated
and be responsible.

212
00:09:49,894 --> 00:09:51,895
Let's have a good Turkey Trot.

213
00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:53,549
Now, of course, there's a lot
of money on the line

214
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,333
for the team of the race winner,

215
00:09:55,464 --> 00:09:58,860
and so some people
are turning to race science.

216
00:09:58,903 --> 00:10:00,338
That's right, you know,
a lot of people these days

217
00:10:00,470 --> 00:10:01,905
want to debunk science.

218
00:10:02,036 --> 00:10:03,299
You know,
vaccine's cause autism,

219
00:10:03,429 --> 00:10:05,082
jet fuel leaves chemtrails,

220
00:10:05,213 --> 00:10:07,999
but when it comes to
racing science, it's science.

221
00:10:08,130 --> 00:10:11,828
Certainly a lot of runners
hoping to cash in today,

222
00:10:11,872 --> 00:10:15,049
so may the best turkey win.

223
00:10:17,139 --> 00:10:18,574
All right,
you guys ready to run?

224
00:10:18,706 --> 00:10:20,358
We got this.
Come on, team, let's go!

225
00:10:20,490 --> 00:10:22,448
Where's Tolkien?
- Oh, you didn't hear?

226
00:10:22,578 --> 00:10:23,754
I didn't hear what?

227
00:10:23,885 --> 00:10:24,972
Tolkien says
he's not gonna race.

228
00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:28,933
What do you mean
Tolkien's not going to race?

229
00:10:28,977 --> 00:10:30,891
He said because it's being
sponsored by Saudi Arabia,

230
00:10:31,021 --> 00:10:32,807
he's bowing out
for political reasons.

231
00:10:32,850 --> 00:10:35,069
- Are you fucking joking?
- No.

232
00:10:35,112 --> 00:10:37,289
God damn it, wait here!

233
00:10:38,726 --> 00:10:43,644
Welcome, everyone to the 28th
annual South Park Turkey Trot!

234
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,603
This is a wonderful turnout,

235
00:10:47,735 --> 00:10:51,260
and I'm sure you'll all help me
in thanking this year's sponsor,

236
00:10:51,390 --> 00:10:53,044
Saudi Arabia!

237
00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:01,313
Holy shit!

238
00:11:04,185 --> 00:11:07,318
Holy shit,
we've got an Antifa uprising!

239
00:11:07,362 --> 00:11:09,756
All right, Department of War,
listen up!

240
00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:12,629
The people of this town
are starting an insurrection!

241
00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:16,458
But they will not stand in
the way of us getting our man!

242
00:11:18,548 --> 00:11:20,115
Tolkien!

243
00:11:20,245 --> 00:11:21,899
Tolkien?

244
00:11:21,943 --> 00:11:22,986
Tolkien!

245
00:11:27,731 --> 00:11:29,124
Dude, what the hell are you
doing?

246
00:11:29,211 --> 00:11:30,559
Playing "Arc Raiders."

247
00:11:30,646 --> 00:11:31,779
The guys said
you're not gonna race

248
00:11:31,822 --> 00:11:33,519
because it's being sponsored
by Saudi Arabia?

249
00:11:33,650 --> 00:11:35,390
Yeah, just doesn't feel right.

250
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,261
"It doesn't feel right"?

251
00:11:37,393 --> 00:11:40,788
- Yeah, doesn't feel right.
- "It doesn't feel right"?

252
00:11:40,875 --> 00:11:42,528
What, Tolkien, you don't like
that Saudi Arabia

253
00:11:42,659 --> 00:11:43,920
is buying American stuff?

254
00:11:43,964 --> 00:11:45,661
They're trying to be
progressive, OK?

255
00:11:45,793 --> 00:11:47,751
You want them to go back
to what they were doing?

256
00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:49,884
You want Saudi Arabia to just go
back to cutting people up

257
00:11:50,014 --> 00:11:51,929
and paying Kevin Hart?
Is that what you want?

258
00:11:51,972 --> 00:11:53,365
I can't see the screen.

259
00:11:53,409 --> 00:11:54,802
Tolkien, you can't whine
about a country

260
00:11:54,889 --> 00:11:56,629
trying to come into
the 21st century.

261
00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:59,371
Them wanting to help pay
for American things is good.

262
00:11:59,414 --> 00:12:01,329
'Cause guess what?
If Saudi Arabia is out

263
00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:02,548
paying for sporting events,

264
00:12:02,592 --> 00:12:03,810
they're not out
hacking up reporters

265
00:12:03,898 --> 00:12:05,900
and inviting Pete Davidson
to come do comedy.

266
00:12:13,821 --> 00:12:16,606
All right, everyone,
on your mark...

267
00:12:23,308 --> 00:12:25,266
Get set...

268
00:12:35,015 --> 00:12:36,452
Holy shit!

269
00:12:36,582 --> 00:12:38,714
Shots fired!
Shots fired!

270
00:12:38,846 --> 00:12:42,457
Get set up over there!
We need content! Now!

271
00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:44,938
What's up, guys?
Pete Hegseth, Department of War.

272
00:12:44,981 --> 00:12:46,635
We are being fired upon!

273
00:12:46,722 --> 00:12:49,464
There's an uprising here.
Some kind of insurrection.

274
00:12:49,595 --> 00:12:51,597
Make sure to like and subscribe!

275
00:12:56,472 --> 00:12:58,212
You can hear
the liberal terrorists

276
00:12:58,299 --> 00:13:00,432
all screaming
and chanting behind us.

277
00:13:00,519 --> 00:13:01,999
We're gonna take 'em on!

278
00:13:02,086 --> 00:13:03,565
Just another day
in the Department of War!

279
00:13:03,653 --> 00:13:04,784
Let's move out!

280
00:13:04,828 --> 00:13:07,048
Did you know that since 2018,

281
00:13:07,091 --> 00:13:09,528
they actually allow women
to drive in Saudi Arabia?

282
00:13:09,659 --> 00:13:12,270
They allow women to drive!

283
00:13:12,313 --> 00:13:15,621
It's like practically a lesbian
utopia over there.

284
00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:18,102
Can you please just let me
enjoy my Thanksgiving morning?

285
00:13:18,145 --> 00:13:20,452
Oh, yeah, sure, who cares
about lesbian utopia?

286
00:13:20,496 --> 00:13:22,714
Not Tolkien.
Tolkien wants Saudi Arabia

287
00:13:22,846 --> 00:13:24,456
to just keep chopping off
gay people's heads.

288
00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:26,023
That's way better, isn't it?

289
00:13:26,110 --> 00:13:28,765
- You're being a dick, bro.
- Go away.

290
00:13:30,898 --> 00:13:32,463
All right, Tolkien,
you know what?

291
00:13:32,507 --> 00:13:34,727
Fine.
If you really don't want to be

292
00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:38,034
a part of our country embracing
Saudi Arabia's desire to change,

293
00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:39,819
then we don't need you.

294
00:13:44,259 --> 00:13:45,607
Hey!

295
00:13:46,651 --> 00:13:48,784
Hey, gimme back my Xbox!

296
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,222
Come get it, asshole!

297
00:13:59,317 --> 00:14:00,491
Come on.

298
00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:02,494
Come on,
we gotta get that money.

299
00:14:03,582 --> 00:14:05,583
The rioting terrorists
appear to be advancing

300
00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:07,281
north, northeast.

301
00:14:07,369 --> 00:14:08,978
Our plan, gentlemen,

302
00:14:09,110 --> 00:14:12,286
is to intercept them
at this location here,

303
00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:15,116
and get as much content
as we possibly can.

304
00:14:15,159 --> 00:14:18,293
It's quite possible we'll also
be needing to get content

305
00:14:18,336 --> 00:14:20,164
in this area, so be ready.

306
00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:23,254
Third Battalion,
you'll be posting up here.

307
00:14:23,298 --> 00:14:26,082
I want you posting on Instagram
and Twitter.

308
00:14:26,169 --> 00:14:27,867
Alpha Team post here.

309
00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:29,651
Bravo Team content there.

310
00:14:32,828 --> 00:14:34,656
All right, everyone, stand by.

311
00:14:34,743 --> 00:14:36,310
At ease, soldier.

312
00:14:36,353 --> 00:14:38,182
We heard there's
a civilian uprising.

313
00:14:38,226 --> 00:14:40,314
Yeah, we don't need
Homeland Security's help.

314
00:14:40,401 --> 00:14:42,098
We got it.
- We're just here to assist

315
00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:43,361
in any way we can.

316
00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:45,319
That's what
Homeland Security does.

317
00:14:45,406 --> 00:14:47,103
Be sure to like
and subscribe, guys.

318
00:14:47,148 --> 00:14:48,932
We've got a...
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

319
00:14:49,063 --> 00:14:50,760
This is not your content.

320
00:14:50,803 --> 00:14:53,675
Everyone like and subscribe
to Department of War!

321
00:15:04,555 --> 00:15:05,905
Come on. Come on.

322
00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:08,082
You got this. I got it.

323
00:15:15,088 --> 00:15:18,135
God damn it! Gimme my Xbox!

324
00:15:18,222 --> 00:15:21,703
Tolkien, how can you not catch
up to me?

325
00:15:23,749 --> 00:15:26,404
You're not even trying!

326
00:15:26,534 --> 00:15:27,971
I am trying!

327
00:15:28,102 --> 00:15:32,149
I told you, I'm not a runner!

328
00:15:32,193 --> 00:15:33,629
Yes, you are!

329
00:15:33,759 --> 00:15:37,024
Will you stop fucking around?

330
00:15:52,909 --> 00:15:54,606
Homeland Security
to Department of War.

331
00:15:54,693 --> 00:15:57,783
The protestors are headed
your way.

332
00:15:57,827 --> 00:15:59,611
Stand down, Homeland Security.

333
00:15:59,741 --> 00:16:01,178
This is our content.

334
00:16:01,222 --> 00:16:02,571
There's too many of 'em!

335
00:16:14,235 --> 00:16:15,800
Here they come.

336
00:16:15,845 --> 00:16:18,413
Everyone, hold your positions!

337
00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:20,805
Department of War will not
be intimidated!

338
00:16:24,245 --> 00:16:26,116
Hold.

339
00:16:27,726 --> 00:16:29,858
Hold!

340
00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:34,602
Fire the tear gas! Yeah!

341
00:16:40,870 --> 00:16:43,264
Dude.

342
00:16:43,394 --> 00:16:44,699
Dude, which way are we
supposed to go?

343
00:16:44,829 --> 00:16:47,616
I can't... I can't see nothing.

344
00:16:51,271 --> 00:16:53,187
Tolkien? Tolkien!

345
00:16:53,317 --> 00:16:55,798
Where the hell did you go?

346
00:17:13,031 --> 00:17:15,078
What the hell's going on?

347
00:17:15,209 --> 00:17:16,425
We don't know.

348
00:17:16,471 --> 00:17:18,038
Well, how the hell are we
supposed to race

349
00:17:18,125 --> 00:17:19,256
if they've blocked the road?

350
00:17:23,913 --> 00:17:25,741
Look, all I know is that

351
00:17:25,869 --> 00:17:28,351
the Stotch family is in big
financial trouble this year.

352
00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:30,397
We have to reach
that finish line.

353
00:17:30,528 --> 00:17:33,139
You think you fucked?
We gotta pay tariff!

354
00:17:33,227 --> 00:17:35,358
That prize money is
our only chance.

355
00:17:35,490 --> 00:17:38,013
Does anyone have
a Turkey Trot route map?

356
00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:39,667
Yeah, I've got one here.

357
00:17:39,711 --> 00:17:40,625
All right, let's see.

358
00:17:42,932 --> 00:17:45,239
So if this area's
all blocked off,

359
00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:46,935
then our best chance
at getting to the finish line

360
00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:48,372
is detouring through here.

361
00:17:48,502 --> 00:17:51,549
No, no, we should go this way
through the underpass.

362
00:17:51,593 --> 00:17:53,682
Are you crazy?
That's too much of a shortcut.

363
00:17:53,724 --> 00:17:55,597
We could get disqualified.

364
00:17:55,727 --> 00:17:58,947
All that matters is that
it's OK with Saudi Arabia.

365
00:17:59,035 --> 00:18:02,604
Would going this way be OK
with Saudi Arabia?

366
00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:05,998
There's no way to be sure
what Saudi Arabia wants.

367
00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:09,262
All I know is,
I need their money.

368
00:18:09,393 --> 00:18:12,743
So I'm gonna go out there
and take my chances.

369
00:18:17,879 --> 00:18:19,010
What's up, guys?

370
00:18:19,142 --> 00:18:20,491
Pete Hegseth, Department of War.

371
00:18:20,535 --> 00:18:22,363
We've got the Narco terrorists
on the run

372
00:18:22,492 --> 00:18:23,885
and we're gonna take 'em out.

373
00:18:23,972 --> 00:18:26,322
Yeah!

374
00:19:09,192 --> 00:19:11,673
All right, buddy.

375
00:19:11,802 --> 00:19:13,414
I don't know
what you think you're doing,

376
00:19:13,456 --> 00:19:16,373
but I'm pretty sure I told you
to get the hell out of my town.

377
00:19:16,460 --> 00:19:18,462
Oh, yeah?

378
00:19:18,506 --> 00:19:20,811
Well, what do you think
you're gonna do about it?

379
00:19:23,597 --> 00:19:26,470
Hello?

380
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,385
Hello?

381
00:19:28,428 --> 00:19:29,778
Anybody?

382
00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:30,953
Give me my Xbox!

383
00:19:31,039 --> 00:19:32,346
Ah!

384
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,264
What is your problem, man?

385
00:19:38,308 --> 00:19:40,657
You could've made this
an amazing Thanksgiving.

386
00:19:40,789 --> 00:19:44,183
For Stan. For Kenny.

387
00:19:44,227 --> 00:19:46,272
But you just wanna play games.

388
00:19:46,403 --> 00:19:48,623
For the last time,

389
00:19:48,710 --> 00:19:51,494
just because I'm Black
doesn't mean I run fast!

390
00:19:51,626 --> 00:19:54,106
Yes, you do.

391
00:19:54,237 --> 00:19:56,369
You just weren't trying
because you have a problem

392
00:19:56,500 --> 00:19:58,720
with Saudia Arabia joining
the global community.

393
00:19:58,849 --> 00:20:00,722
That has nothing to do
with you being a racist.

394
00:20:00,851 --> 00:20:02,202
Oh, I'm a racist?

395
00:20:02,244 --> 00:20:03,811
You want Saudi Arabia

396
00:20:03,855 --> 00:20:05,988
to just keep stuffing
journalists into suitcases,

397
00:20:06,030 --> 00:20:07,206
but I'm the racist!

398
00:20:07,250 --> 00:20:09,164
I'm going home.

399
00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:11,253
OK, fine, forget it.

400
00:20:11,298 --> 00:20:12,690
Yeah, I will forget it!

401
00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:14,648
And I can think whatever I want!

402
00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:16,215
OK, you're right, Tolkien.

403
00:20:16,302 --> 00:20:17,433
Yeah, I know I'm right!

404
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:18,653
OK, that's cool.

405
00:20:18,740 --> 00:20:20,045
Have a good Thanksgiving, man.

406
00:20:20,088 --> 00:20:21,481
I will have a good Thanksgiving

407
00:20:21,524 --> 00:20:23,309
'cause I won't be listening
to your stupid bullshit!

408
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:24,920
Yep, sounds good.

409
00:20:25,049 --> 00:20:26,356
Enjoy the holidays
with your loved ones.

410
00:20:34,712 --> 00:20:36,887
Oh, God damn it.

411
00:20:37,019 --> 00:20:39,281
Yes! Race science!

412
00:20:39,413 --> 00:20:41,241
Race science!

413
00:20:45,069 --> 00:20:47,898
On behalf of the Kingdom
of Saudi Arabia

414
00:20:47,985 --> 00:20:51,903
and His Royal Highness
Mohammed bin Salman Al Saud,

415
00:20:51,946 --> 00:20:54,471
this year's Turkey Trot
grand prize

416
00:20:54,558 --> 00:20:57,473
goes to the team
of South Park's very own

417
00:20:57,518 --> 00:20:58,953
Tolkien Black!

418
00:21:04,481 --> 00:21:06,701
We did it, dude.

419
00:21:06,743 --> 00:21:08,920
It's right there.
You see it?

420
00:21:09,007 --> 00:21:11,575
It's right there!

421
00:21:11,705 --> 00:21:13,272
There you go.
Almost there.

422
00:21:21,933 --> 00:21:23,934
All right, guys,
that about wraps it up.

423
00:21:24,021 --> 00:21:25,807
Let's get home
and eat some turkey.

424
00:21:25,936 --> 00:21:27,461
You son of a bitch!

425
00:21:27,503 --> 00:21:29,289
The president will come for us!

426
00:21:29,376 --> 00:21:31,247
Yeah, maybe so.

427
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:33,728
Judge will see you Monday.

428
00:21:35,164 --> 00:21:37,513
South Park's gonna pay for this.

429
00:21:37,558 --> 00:21:39,646
They're all gonna pay.