Wow!
Squidward, this is the best souffle you have ever created!
Oh! Congratulations, Chef.
Hi, Patrick.
Hi, SpongeBob.
Patrick, you're my best friend in the whole neighborhood.
Patrick, you are the dumbest idiot
it has ever been my misfortune to know.
Do you really think that, SpongeBob?
Of course, Patrick.
Anyone with eyes could see that.
Yeah, well, I think you're ugly!
Yellow is ugly!
Patrick, what are you talking about?
SpongeBob,
I no longer wish to know you...
You give bottom dwellers a bad name.
If I had a dollar
for every brain you don't have
I'd have one dollar.
Hey, Patrick,
I heard there was a job opening
down at the pet shop...
as some newspaper!
That makes you a big dummy, you dummy!
Yeah, well, that means that, uh... so are you!
Right, you're a turkey!
What's that?
It's what you are!
Well, you're a bigger one.
Well, you're still yellow.
You know what else is yellow?
What?
You are!
Yeah? Well, it doesn't matter what you call me
because I never want to see you again anyway!
Aw, tartar sauce!
Whoa, Squidward, you're choking!
Oh... I know what to do
but I should wash my hands first.
Oh, well.
I win!
Wow! Patrick!
You saved me.
I did?
Yep.
You're a real lifesaver, friend.
Friend?
Friend!
Ee... yeah, Patrick,
we're friends.
Just friends.
So, what are we going to do tonight,
best friend?
Well, I was going to practice
my clarinet solo.
Clarinet?
I love music!
Aw, who needs them?
They're no fun anyway, right, Gary?
Gary?
Squidward will be performing his version
of "Solitude in E Minor."
Yeah!
E minor, all right, yeah!
Aw, what am I worried about?
I got plenty of friends.
I can name three right off the bat.
Uh...
The gang's all here.
Oh!
Oh, oh, my back!
I threw out my back.
Oh, boy!
Now's my chance.
SpongeBob? No, no, stay back!
Don't worry, Squidward, I'm coming!
No, no, no, get away from me!
Hang on, I'll save you!
No, no, no, get away from me! No, no!
Hold on!
No! No! Get away!
Ow, I'm ruined!
I... I... I...
I feel great.
Thanks, SpongeBob.
You're a real friend.
Friend...
No, no, no, no! I didn't mean that. No, no.
Don't worry, Squiddy old pal.
That's what friends are for.
So dumb Patrick fell asleep on you, huh?
Some friend!
A real friend would perform for you.
You play?
Are you kidding?
I've been playing bassinet for years.
Give me an A, buddy.
Um, I can fix this.
So, uh, I'll see you tomorrow, Squidward.
Call me.
Ugh! That was disgusting!
Feel like I need to scrub myself.
Hey, buddy, I warmed it up for you.
Patrick, get out!
And put some clothes on.
What's the matter, Squidward old buddy?
Oh, ho!
So this is what I find, huh?
My best friend and my ex-best friend and...
rubber bath toys!
This can't be happening to me!
Squidward!
Buddy!
Squidward, where are you?
Oh, this is nuts!
I need a plan to get those two back together
and out of my hair.
Squidward!
A dinner party?
I'd love to!
Did you miss me?
Come on in.
You look stunning.
I'd much rather dine with you
than that lousy...
Say, what gives?
I'm not sitting near that maniac!
Me, neither!
This was a setup.
I thought you two were my best friends.
I am your best friend. I am your best friend.
Well, how about some soda, guys?
Yes, please.
Thanks, friend.
How about some for your best friend?
Thanks...
best friend.
Can I have some now, buddy?
Wait! I need some more.
I still didn't get any.
There you go.
More, please.
Squidward!
Hey, Squidward!
Squidward!
Hey, Squidward!
Patrick, your glass is full.
Oh, yeah.
Squidward! Hey, Squidward!
Squidward!
Hey, Squidward!
Squidward!
Hey, Squidward!
Squidward! Squidward!
Sorry, boys, I'm all out of pop.
I'm going to go get some more.
Why don't you just stay here and chat?
I should just walk away right now.
What a surprise...
I invited them in and I left them alone.
Well, Squidward, what have we learned today?
Guess what, Squidward?
Me and SpongeBob are friends again.
Great. Go be friends somewhere else.
Don't you want us to help you clean this up a little?
No! Out!
Psst! I think he's jealous.
How pathetic.
Ow... my back.