1
00:00:17,645 --> 00:00:19,347
Are you ready, kids?

2
00:00:19,413 --> 00:00:21,449
Aye, aye, Captain!

3
00:00:21,516 --> 00:00:22,950
I can't hear you.

4
00:00:23,017 --> 00:00:24,452
( louder ):
Aye, aye, Captain!

5
00:01:13,601 --> 00:01:17,238
The new adventures
of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy!

6
00:01:17,305 --> 00:01:23,044
We join Bikini Bottom's noblest,
boldest... oldest superheroes

7
00:01:23,110 --> 00:01:25,546
as they bravely prepare
for vacation.

8
00:01:29,784 --> 00:01:31,352
But wait!

9
00:01:31,419 --> 00:01:33,955
While our heroes relax
at Leisure Village

10
00:01:34,021 --> 00:01:37,225
who will watch the Mermalair?

11
00:01:39,293 --> 00:01:39,827
ManSponge!

12
00:01:39,894 --> 00:01:41,796
And BoyPatrick!

13
00:01:41,863 --> 00:01:43,865
Reporting for duty!

14
00:01:43,931 --> 00:01:44,732
Yeah, yeah,
follow me.

15
00:01:44,799 --> 00:01:48,069
Up, up and away!

16
00:01:48,135 --> 00:01:49,637
Evil!

17
00:01:49,704 --> 00:01:52,106
Now, we want you boys

18
00:01:52,173 --> 00:01:54,175
to keep an eye
on the place.

19
00:01:54,242 --> 00:01:55,610
Water the plants
and make sure...

20
00:01:55,676 --> 00:01:57,178
Oh, my gosh,
Patrick!

21
00:01:57,245 --> 00:01:58,746
This is the greatest wall

22
00:01:58,813 --> 00:02:00,681
of superhero
secret gadgetry ever!

23
00:02:00,748 --> 00:02:03,417
I get the Cosmic Ray!

24
00:02:03,484 --> 00:02:04,085
I get the Aquaglove!

25
00:02:04,151 --> 00:02:07,121
Hold on there, boys!

26
00:02:07,188 --> 00:02:09,657
You cannot play
with this stuff.

27
00:02:09,724 --> 00:02:12,360
What about the Orb of Confusion?

28
00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:16,898
No, no!

29
00:02:16,964 --> 00:02:20,635
Prolonged exposure to
the Orb of Confusion

30
00:02:20,701 --> 00:02:24,105
will give you...
confusion!

31
00:02:24,171 --> 00:02:26,407
What about the
Invisible Boatmobile?

32
00:02:26,474 --> 00:02:28,809
Especially not the
Invisible Boatmobile!

33
00:02:28,876 --> 00:02:32,213
When we say,
"Don't touch anything"

34
00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:33,748
we mean, "Don't touch anything!"

35
00:02:33,814 --> 00:02:36,284
Do you understand?

36
00:02:36,350 --> 00:02:39,520
Loud and clear,
trusted boy companion!

37
00:02:39,587 --> 00:02:40,688
Ah, great.

38
00:02:40,755 --> 00:02:42,356
Here are
the keys.

39
00:02:42,423 --> 00:02:43,958
We'll see you in a week.

40
00:02:44,025 --> 00:02:47,395
Up, up and away!

41
00:02:47,461 --> 00:02:48,663
Come, BoyPatrick.

42
00:02:48,729 --> 00:02:51,666
While our heroes are away,
we will keep evil at bay!

43
00:02:55,169 --> 00:02:56,337
Huh?

44
00:02:56,404 --> 00:02:57,772
Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma...

45
00:02:57,838 --> 00:03:00,041
What is it,
trusted sidekick?

46
00:03:00,107 --> 00:03:01,709
Ma-ma-ma-ma,
ma-ma-ma-ma-ma...

47
00:03:01,776 --> 00:03:04,078
Ma-ma-ma-ma,
ma-ma-ma-ma-ma...

48
00:03:04,145 --> 00:03:06,747
Ma-ma-ma-ma,
ma-ma-ma-ma-ma!

49
00:03:06,814 --> 00:03:09,350
Ma-ma-ma-ma,
ma-ma-ma-ma-ma!

50
00:03:09,417 --> 00:03:10,885
Man Ray!

51
00:03:13,154 --> 00:03:16,290
Hey, SpongeBob, how come
he's not chasing us?

52
00:03:17,825 --> 00:03:19,493
Looks like he's frozen.

53
00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:21,529
Fr-fr-fr, fro-fro-fro...

54
00:03:21,595 --> 00:03:25,266
It appears to be some
sort of prison chamber...

55
00:03:25,333 --> 00:03:28,569
made out of frozen tartar sauce.

56
00:03:28,636 --> 00:03:29,303
This is incredible!

57
00:03:29,370 --> 00:03:31,105
Next to the Dirty Bubble

58
00:03:31,172 --> 00:03:33,941
the evil Man Ray is the all-time
greatest arch-nemesis

59
00:03:34,008 --> 00:03:36,177
of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy!

60
00:03:36,243 --> 00:03:38,746
I have so many questions
to ask him.

61
00:03:43,884 --> 00:03:45,953
We're not supposed
to touch anything!

62
00:03:46,020 --> 00:03:48,055
But you said
you had a question.

63
00:03:48,122 --> 00:03:49,757
We could get
in trouble!

64
00:03:49,824 --> 00:03:52,526
He said not
to touch anything!

65
00:03:52,593 --> 00:03:53,861
And that includes unfreezing
a supervillain!

66
00:03:53,928 --> 00:03:55,830
I'm free!

67
00:03:59,266 --> 00:04:02,036
Uh, actually,
Mr. uh... Man Ray, sir

68
00:04:02,103 --> 00:04:03,137
only your head is free.

69
00:04:03,204 --> 00:04:06,974
By the supreme authority
of wickedness

70
00:04:07,041 --> 00:04:12,179
I, the evil Man Ray,
command you to release me

71
00:04:12,246 --> 00:04:14,648
from this frozen prison at once!

72
00:04:14,715 --> 00:04:19,353
Well, uh,
Mr. evil Man Ray, sir,
we can't do that.

73
00:04:19,420 --> 00:04:21,889
Why... not?

74
00:04:21,956 --> 00:04:23,124
Because you're evil!

75
00:04:23,190 --> 00:04:25,893
You mean, if I was good,
then you'd let me go?

76
00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:28,162
Yeah, sure, why not?

77
00:04:28,229 --> 00:04:30,698
Then, uh... in that case,
I am good.

78
00:04:30,765 --> 00:04:31,265
Really?

79
00:04:31,332 --> 00:04:31,899
Yes, really.

80
00:04:31,966 --> 00:04:33,901
Really, really?

81
00:04:33,968 --> 00:04:36,670
Yes, yes, really, really.

82
00:04:36,737 --> 00:04:39,006
Really, really, really?

83
00:04:39,073 --> 00:04:41,642
Yes, yes, already,
I'm good, I'm good!

84
00:04:41,709 --> 00:04:42,576
Not let me out of here

85
00:04:42,643 --> 00:04:43,844
or you'll suffer
dire consequences!

86
00:04:43,911 --> 00:04:45,913
Well, that's
good enough for me.

87
00:04:49,850 --> 00:04:52,853
You fools!

88
00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:56,090
Prepare to be eradicated!

89
00:04:57,958 --> 00:05:00,995
Ah, ooh...

90
00:05:03,864 --> 00:05:05,232
What's wrong
with me?

91
00:05:05,299 --> 00:05:09,437
( laughing ):
What is this infernal
contraption?

92
00:05:09,503 --> 00:05:10,871
Don't play dumb,
Man Ray—

93
00:05:10,938 --> 00:05:13,340
you know that's
the Tickle Belt

94
00:05:13,407 --> 00:05:15,076
Mermaidman used on you
in episode number 17!

95
00:05:15,142 --> 00:05:18,112
As seen in episode 17!

96
00:05:18,179 --> 00:05:18,946
Oh, I love that episode.

97
00:05:19,013 --> 00:05:20,781
Oh, me, too,
me, too.

98
00:05:20,848 --> 00:05:23,951
( laughing ):
I'll never get out of here
wearing this belt!

99
00:05:26,554 --> 00:05:29,857
I need an evil plan that will
trick them to take it off me.

100
00:05:31,659 --> 00:05:34,261
Time for those acting lessons
to pay off.

101
00:05:34,328 --> 00:05:36,864
( laughing ):
Remember that part
when Mermaidman...

102
00:05:37,965 --> 00:05:41,602
Oh, sob, oh, cry!

103
00:05:42,903 --> 00:05:45,739
Oh, woe is me!

104
00:05:45,806 --> 00:05:51,011
You don't know what it's like
being evil for so long.

105
00:05:51,078 --> 00:05:54,815
Oh, how I wish to be... good.

106
00:05:54,882 --> 00:06:00,888
If only some kind heroes would
show me the path to decency.

107
00:06:02,990 --> 00:06:07,027
We could teach you
how to be good

108
00:06:07,094 --> 00:06:09,964
and then we'll
let you go!

109
00:06:10,030 --> 00:06:14,101
Ah, that would be
fantastic!

110
00:06:14,168 --> 00:06:16,203
( softly ):
I'll fake my way
through this

111
00:06:16,270 --> 00:06:17,037
just like I did
in high school.

112
00:06:19,106 --> 00:06:21,475
Okay, Man Ray,
are you ready

113
00:06:21,542 --> 00:06:23,244
for your first day
at goodness school?

114
00:06:25,946 --> 00:06:27,214
Pat, get your wallet out.

115
00:06:27,281 --> 00:06:29,183
Okay, goodness lesson
number one:

116
00:06:29,250 --> 00:06:30,284
You see someone drop
their wallet.

117
00:06:30,351 --> 00:06:33,154
( whispering ):
Patrick, drop the wallet.

118
00:06:33,220 --> 00:06:34,788
Now, what would you do?

119
00:06:34,855 --> 00:06:36,357
Excuse me, sir

120
00:06:36,423 --> 00:06:38,058
but I do believe you've
dropped your wallet.

121
00:06:38,125 --> 00:06:39,960
Doesn't look familiar
to me.

122
00:06:40,027 --> 00:06:41,996
What?

123
00:06:42,062 --> 00:06:43,864
I just saw you drop it— here.

124
00:06:43,931 --> 00:06:45,166
Nope, it's not mine.

125
00:06:45,232 --> 00:06:46,634
It is yours.

126
00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:47,935
I... I'm trying to be
a good person

127
00:06:48,002 --> 00:06:49,236
and return it to you.

128
00:06:49,303 --> 00:06:51,772
Return what to who?

129
00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:56,010
Aren't you... Patrick Star?

130
00:06:56,076 --> 00:06:57,845
Yup.

131
00:06:57,912 --> 00:06:59,914
And this is your I.D.?

132
00:06:59,980 --> 00:07:02,016
Yup.I found this I.D.

133
00:07:02,082 --> 00:07:03,450
in this wallet

134
00:07:03,517 --> 00:07:07,087
and if that's the case,
this must be your wallet.

135
00:07:07,154 --> 00:07:08,889
That makes sense to me.

136
00:07:08,956 --> 00:07:11,158
Then take it.

137
00:07:11,225 --> 00:07:12,860
It's not my wallet.

138
00:07:12,927 --> 00:07:14,161
Oh, you dim bulb!

139
00:07:14,228 --> 00:07:16,096
Take back your wallet
or I'll rip your arms off!

140
00:07:16,163 --> 00:07:18,832
Uh-uh, wrong...

141
00:07:18,899 --> 00:07:19,967
Good people don't rip

142
00:07:20,034 --> 00:07:21,368
other people's arms off.

143
00:07:21,435 --> 00:07:23,671
( laughing ):
Oh, oh, stop!

144
00:07:23,737 --> 00:07:27,641
Okay, goodness lesson
number two.

145
00:07:27,708 --> 00:07:29,977
You see someone struggling
with a heavy package.

146
00:07:30,044 --> 00:07:31,078
What do you do?

147
00:07:31,145 --> 00:07:33,447
Hello, friend.

148
00:07:33,514 --> 00:07:35,216
I noticed you were struggling
with that package.

149
00:07:35,282 --> 00:07:36,917
Would you like
some help?

150
00:07:36,984 --> 00:07:37,918
Ow!

151
00:07:37,985 --> 00:07:39,186
Oops.

152
00:07:39,253 --> 00:07:41,956
Sorry, can I
start over?

153
00:07:42,022 --> 00:07:42,423
I noticed you were...

154
00:07:42,489 --> 00:07:44,024
Ow!

155
00:07:44,091 --> 00:07:46,894
Oops, got to
start again.

156
00:07:49,230 --> 00:07:51,031
You butter-fingered
pink thing!

157
00:07:51,098 --> 00:07:53,100
What's in that box,
anyhow?

158
00:07:53,167 --> 00:07:54,134
My wallets.

159
00:07:55,970 --> 00:07:57,905
Oh, SpongeBob,
tickle him!

160
00:08:03,577 --> 00:08:06,513
( laughing ):
Ah, that tickles,
but it's worth it!

161
00:08:07,481 --> 00:08:11,118
All right, goodness lesson
number three.

162
00:08:11,185 --> 00:08:13,854
Uh... let's see...

163
00:08:13,921 --> 00:08:14,955
I've got one.

164
00:08:15,022 --> 00:08:18,025
I'm thinking of a number
between one and 100.

165
00:08:18,092 --> 00:08:18,993
What is it?

166
00:08:19,059 --> 00:08:21,729
Um... 62?

167
00:08:21,795 --> 00:08:22,363
Wrong!

168
00:08:23,197 --> 00:08:25,833
Stop, stop...

169
00:08:25,899 --> 00:08:26,667
Hey, Patrick

170
00:08:26,734 --> 00:08:28,035
that's not about
being good.

171
00:08:28,102 --> 00:08:29,737
Let go of it, SpongeBob!

172
00:08:29,803 --> 00:08:32,172
Pat, we can use it
only when he's bad.

173
00:08:32,239 --> 00:08:33,207
Let go!

174
00:08:37,177 --> 00:08:39,313
( laughing ):
Frequency rising...

175
00:08:39,380 --> 00:08:41,949
belt out of control...

176
00:08:44,285 --> 00:08:46,654
( laughing ):
Tickling my DNA...

177
00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:49,156
( laughing ):
Make it stop!

178
00:08:49,223 --> 00:08:52,426
( laughing ):
Please!

179
00:08:52,493 --> 00:08:53,127
Did you hear that,
Patrick?

180
00:08:53,193 --> 00:08:55,562
He said the "p" word.

181
00:08:55,629 --> 00:08:56,764
Peanuts?

182
00:08:56,830 --> 00:08:58,232
No, "please."

183
00:08:58,299 --> 00:09:00,367
Well, that's good enough
for me.

184
00:09:00,434 --> 00:09:02,169
I guess he's
reconstituted.

185
00:09:02,236 --> 00:09:03,771
Rehabilitated.

186
00:09:03,837 --> 00:09:05,005
Gesundheit.

187
00:09:05,072 --> 00:09:06,106
It's graduation day, Man Ray!

188
00:09:06,173 --> 00:09:08,776
This is the key to your future.

189
00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:16,984
Just look at him, Patrick,
the picture of goodness.

190
00:09:18,585 --> 00:09:20,854
We're not supposed
to touch that.

191
00:09:21,188 --> 00:09:23,991
Or that, either.

192
00:09:25,592 --> 00:09:27,261
We are really
not supposed
to touch those, sir.

193
00:09:28,162 --> 00:09:29,196
Good people have

194
00:09:29,263 --> 00:09:31,231
no use for weapons...

195
00:09:35,469 --> 00:09:38,205
The only thing I'm good at
is being evil.

196
00:09:38,272 --> 00:09:40,574
So long, suckers!

197
00:09:40,641 --> 00:09:43,143
What's that smell,
SpongeBob?

198
00:09:43,210 --> 00:09:46,180
That, Patrick, is
the smell of defeat.

199
00:09:46,246 --> 00:09:47,381
Good, I thought it was
my skin.

200
00:09:47,448 --> 00:09:50,818
Forget about your skin,
Patrick!

201
00:09:50,884 --> 00:09:53,387
Man Ray is still bad and
someone has to stop him.

202
00:09:53,454 --> 00:09:56,256
This is a job
for Mermaidman...

203
00:09:56,323 --> 00:09:58,659
And Barnacleboy!

204
00:10:03,297 --> 00:10:05,099
To the Invisible
Boatmobile!

205
00:10:05,165 --> 00:10:08,335
Ignition... on!

206
00:10:08,402 --> 00:10:10,704
Wait— I don't have
a license!

207
00:10:10,771 --> 00:10:13,273
Well, this is
an invisible boat, right?

208
00:10:13,340 --> 00:10:16,710
So you need an
invisible license!

209
00:10:16,777 --> 00:10:20,080
You're the
best sidekick ever,
Barnacleboy.

210
00:10:23,784 --> 00:10:26,120
Thank goodness
for invisible seat belts!

211
00:10:26,186 --> 00:10:28,288
Out of my way, fools.

212
00:10:28,355 --> 00:10:31,325
You no longer
have control of me

213
00:10:31,392 --> 00:10:36,130
and now this town
belongs to Man Ray!

214
00:10:36,196 --> 00:10:37,264
Not so fast,
arch villain.

215
00:10:37,331 --> 00:10:39,099
We still have
the Orb of Confusion.

216
00:10:39,166 --> 00:10:41,201
Take this!

217
00:10:43,971 --> 00:10:45,839
Well, that was easy.

218
00:10:51,044 --> 00:10:52,012
All right, people!

219
00:10:52,079 --> 00:10:55,149
Everybody stand
right where you are.

220
00:10:56,250 --> 00:10:57,117
I want you to, uh...

221
00:11:05,359 --> 00:11:09,396
No, no, stop giggling,
or I'll have to...

222
00:11:13,367 --> 00:11:17,237
Stop laughing, you fools!

223
00:11:17,304 --> 00:11:20,140
What can I do
for you, sir?

224
00:11:20,207 --> 00:11:22,242
I'll tell you
what you can do!

225
00:11:22,309 --> 00:11:24,011
Give me all of your, uh...

226
00:11:24,077 --> 00:11:28,816
( laughing ):
Give me, give me all of your...

227
00:11:28,882 --> 00:11:29,983
Give me...

228
00:11:35,823 --> 00:11:39,393
Ah! The belt is gone,
but I still feel its tickle.

229
00:11:39,460 --> 00:11:42,763
The urge to do bad is gone!

230
00:11:42,830 --> 00:11:45,833
( sighing ):
I guess I'll just open
a checking account.

231
00:11:54,041 --> 00:11:55,242
Man Ray!

232
00:11:55,309 --> 00:11:57,744
No need to be alarmed,
SpongeBob.

233
00:11:57,811 --> 00:12:00,914
Your teachings have
transformed me.

234
00:12:00,981 --> 00:12:06,286
Besides... I have checks
with little poodles on them!

235
00:12:06,353 --> 00:12:08,455
I won't be
needing this
anymore.

236
00:12:08,522 --> 00:12:10,524
Farewell, fellow do-gooder.

237
00:12:11,892 --> 00:12:12,426
Bye, Man Ray!

238
00:12:12,493 --> 00:12:14,862
Wow, we did it—

239
00:12:14,928 --> 00:12:17,898
just like the real
Mermaidman and Barnacleboy!

240
00:12:17,965 --> 00:12:18,765
We saved the day!

241
00:12:18,832 --> 00:12:20,267
Isn't it incredible, Patrick?

242
00:12:20,334 --> 00:12:21,335
Patrick?

243
00:12:23,403 --> 00:12:24,404
Patrick, you know

244
00:12:24,471 --> 00:12:26,273
that thing's
turned off, right?

245
00:12:26,340 --> 00:12:27,674
Patrick, yoo-hoo,
Patrick?

246
00:12:44,024 --> 00:12:47,961
Okay, everybody settle down.

247
00:12:48,028 --> 00:12:50,130
Welcome to the Komedy Krab!

248
00:12:52,199 --> 00:12:57,371
Now, please give a warm welcome
to our first comic

249
00:12:57,437 --> 00:13:00,207
the indiscernible
Doogie Williams.

250
00:13:00,274 --> 00:13:01,608
Good evening, folks.

251
00:13:01,675 --> 00:13:03,644
I'm going to skip the jokes

252
00:13:03,710 --> 00:13:07,214
and get right to the part
where I throw pies at you.

253
00:13:10,450 --> 00:13:13,153
I hope I do as good as that guy.

254
00:13:13,220 --> 00:13:15,289
Man, those people
will laugh at anything.

255
00:13:15,355 --> 00:13:16,189
Hey, don't
sweat it, kid.

256
00:13:16,256 --> 00:13:18,959
I got 'em all
warmed up for you.

257
00:13:19,026 --> 00:13:23,397
Put your fins together
for SpongeBob SquarePants!

258
00:13:23,463 --> 00:13:24,031
Go get 'em,
SpongeBob!

259
00:13:24,097 --> 00:13:26,333
Whoo-hoo!

260
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:29,303
Hey, hey, hey,
ladies and jellyfish

261
00:13:29,369 --> 00:13:32,706
have you ever noticed
salt shakers?

262
00:13:32,773 --> 00:13:36,343
I mean, you fill them up
every night at closing

263
00:13:36,410 --> 00:13:38,145
and, I mean,
where does it all go?

264
00:13:38,211 --> 00:13:40,247
Huh? You know what I mean?

265
00:13:48,555 --> 00:13:51,191
And tomatoes— what's the deal
on those things?

266
00:13:55,295 --> 00:13:56,396
Because, I mean

267
00:13:56,463 --> 00:13:58,765
you chop them up
into slices, but...

268
00:14:00,701 --> 00:14:03,737
What are they, vegetables or...

269
00:14:04,905 --> 00:14:05,706
fruit?

270
00:14:05,772 --> 00:14:07,574
And what does that make ketchup?

271
00:14:08,375 --> 00:14:10,177
Oh, brother!

272
00:14:10,243 --> 00:14:11,345
This guy stinks!

273
00:14:11,411 --> 00:14:14,147
Hey! Hey, funny guy!

274
00:14:14,214 --> 00:14:16,083
I got a joke
for you!

275
00:14:16,149 --> 00:14:17,351
What smells rotten

276
00:14:17,417 --> 00:14:19,419
and puts people
to sleep?

277
00:14:19,486 --> 00:14:21,288
Um, noxious gas?

278
00:14:21,355 --> 00:14:23,357
No! Your act!

279
00:14:25,492 --> 00:14:31,298
Did you ever notice
how, uh, forks, uh...

280
00:14:31,365 --> 00:14:34,067
Forks?
Come on!

281
00:14:35,769 --> 00:14:37,571
( thinking ):
Quick, SpongeBob!

282
00:14:37,638 --> 00:14:39,139
Make a witty observation!

283
00:14:40,674 --> 00:14:41,308
P.U.

284
00:14:44,211 --> 00:14:49,182
Did you ever notice
how big squirrels' teeth are?

285
00:14:50,283 --> 00:14:51,184
That's true.

286
00:14:51,251 --> 00:14:52,285
Huh?

287
00:14:52,352 --> 00:14:53,787
I mean, hey

288
00:14:53,854 --> 00:14:55,255
you could land a plane
on those things.

289
00:14:58,325 --> 00:15:00,661
And what's up
with that squirrel fur?

290
00:15:00,727 --> 00:15:02,162
I guess fleas need a home, too.

291
00:15:05,365 --> 00:15:07,401
Squirrel fur!

292
00:15:07,467 --> 00:15:08,368
And they smell!

293
00:15:08,435 --> 00:15:11,972
Uh, but hey, you'd stink, too

294
00:15:12,039 --> 00:15:13,340
if you spent three months
buried in dirt.

295
00:15:18,645 --> 00:15:20,547
Why does it take
more than one squirrel

296
00:15:20,614 --> 00:15:21,181
to change a light bulb?

297
00:15:21,248 --> 00:15:23,650
Why?

298
00:15:23,717 --> 00:15:26,820
Because they're so darn stupid!

299
00:15:31,525 --> 00:15:34,227
Oh, that's
a good one,
eh, Sandy?

300
00:15:34,294 --> 00:15:35,529
Uh, y-yeah.

301
00:15:37,431 --> 00:15:39,700
That was
fantastic, boy!

302
00:15:39,766 --> 00:15:41,601
You really
knocked them out!

303
00:15:41,668 --> 00:15:44,304
I think I'll do this
joke night again

304
00:15:44,371 --> 00:15:45,872
with you as
the headliner!

305
00:15:45,939 --> 00:15:49,009
I never thought I could be
a headliner!

306
00:15:49,076 --> 00:15:49,776
Whatever that is.

307
00:15:49,843 --> 00:15:51,344
The headliner's
the one

308
00:15:51,411 --> 00:15:53,046
who cleans up
after the show.

309
00:15:53,113 --> 00:15:55,816
Well, at least I don't have
to clean up my act!

310
00:15:56,883 --> 00:15:59,152
Stick with
the squirrel jokes, boy.

311
00:15:59,219 --> 00:15:59,786
Now get busy!

312
00:15:59,853 --> 00:16:01,755
Mops, mops, mops.

313
00:16:01,822 --> 00:16:02,389
What's up with those things?

314
00:16:02,456 --> 00:16:03,390
I mean, really!

315
00:16:03,457 --> 00:16:05,258
Oh, hey, Sandy.

316
00:16:05,325 --> 00:16:06,326
Howdy, SpongeBob.

317
00:16:06,393 --> 00:16:07,294
Did you like
the show?

318
00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:11,865
Well, a-actually, SpongeBob, no.

319
00:16:11,932 --> 00:16:13,366
Those jokes are hurtful
and you know it.

320
00:16:13,433 --> 00:16:14,267
Come on, Sandy.

321
00:16:14,334 --> 00:16:15,435
I was just joking.

322
00:16:15,502 --> 00:16:17,504
I mean,
everybody knows

323
00:16:17,571 --> 00:16:19,840
you're the smartest one
at Bikini Bottom.

324
00:16:19,906 --> 00:16:21,808
Well, I can't argue with that.

325
00:16:21,875 --> 00:16:24,311
We all gotta laugh
at ourselves once in a while.

326
00:16:24,377 --> 00:16:26,713
I do it all the time!

327
00:16:32,886 --> 00:16:34,488
You're right,
SpongeBob.

328
00:16:34,554 --> 00:16:36,957
I was being
a little too sensitive.

329
00:16:37,023 --> 00:16:37,924
No hard feelings.

330
00:16:39,526 --> 00:16:41,294
Okay, deodorant.

331
00:16:41,361 --> 00:16:42,362
Huh, let's see.

332
00:16:42,429 --> 00:16:45,365
Roll-on or stick?

333
00:16:45,432 --> 00:16:48,168
I think she
should buy both.

334
00:16:48,668 --> 00:16:49,369
Huh?

335
00:16:49,436 --> 00:16:50,771
Hey, look,
guys!

336
00:16:50,837 --> 00:16:53,840
It's the
stupid squirrel!

337
00:16:53,907 --> 00:16:54,908
I know—

338
00:16:54,975 --> 00:16:57,477
let's try
and communicate
with it.

339
00:16:57,544 --> 00:17:00,013
Duh...

340
00:17:03,150 --> 00:17:04,117
Hmph!

341
00:17:05,552 --> 00:17:08,221
Hello,
little critter.

342
00:17:08,288 --> 00:17:09,523
What's your name?

343
00:17:09,589 --> 00:17:11,658
Don't stand too close
to a squirrel, Billy.

344
00:17:11,725 --> 00:17:12,292
You'll catch
its stupid.

345
00:17:12,359 --> 00:17:14,327
Okay, Mom.

346
00:17:14,394 --> 00:17:15,428
Stupidity isn't a virus

347
00:17:15,495 --> 00:17:18,932
but it sure is spreading
like one.

348
00:17:18,999 --> 00:17:20,367
SpongeBob! SpongeBob!

349
00:17:20,433 --> 00:17:23,336
SpongeBob! SpongeBob!

350
00:17:28,475 --> 00:17:30,644
Because they're stupid.

351
00:17:30,710 --> 00:17:33,280
Because they're stupid.

352
00:17:33,346 --> 00:17:34,981
Hey, uh,
SpongeBob?

353
00:17:35,048 --> 00:17:35,749
Oh, hi, Sandy.

354
00:17:35,816 --> 00:17:36,550
Um, I need
to talk to you

355
00:17:36,616 --> 00:17:38,852
about them
squirrel jokes.

356
00:17:38,919 --> 00:17:40,453
We already talked
about that, remember?

357
00:17:44,558 --> 00:17:47,494
SpongeBob,
this is serious.

358
00:17:47,561 --> 00:17:48,562
Since you've been
telling them jokes

359
00:17:48,628 --> 00:17:50,497
people have been treating me
different.

360
00:17:50,564 --> 00:17:52,432
SpongeBob,
five minutes.

361
00:17:52,499 --> 00:17:56,469
( slowly ):
Hel-lo, Sandy.

362
00:17:56,536 --> 00:17:58,371
Me Patrick.

363
00:17:58,438 --> 00:18:05,212
Do you
un-der-stand?

364
00:18:06,346 --> 00:18:08,215
Squirrels.

365
00:18:08,281 --> 00:18:09,082
Y-y-you see?

366
00:18:09,149 --> 00:18:10,550
That's what I'm
talking about.

367
00:18:10,617 --> 00:18:11,685
That's just
Patrick.

368
00:18:11,751 --> 00:18:12,886
He's fooling
around.

369
00:18:12,953 --> 00:18:14,621
I'm just asking you
as a friend

370
00:18:14,688 --> 00:18:16,857
please lay off them
squirrel jokes, okay?

371
00:18:16,923 --> 00:18:18,959
Tell some of them
other jokes you got.

372
00:18:19,025 --> 00:18:21,294
( nervously ):
Other jokes?

373
00:18:23,029 --> 00:18:23,730
Bah!

374
00:18:23,797 --> 00:18:24,431
I got a million
of them.

375
00:18:24,497 --> 00:18:26,666
Thanks, SpongeBob.

376
00:18:26,733 --> 00:18:29,002
I knew
you'd understand.

377
00:18:29,069 --> 00:18:31,371
( chanting ):
SpongeBob! SpongeBob!
SpongeBob! SpongeBob!

378
00:18:31,438 --> 00:18:35,508
Put your fins together
for SpongeBob SquarePants!

379
00:18:39,212 --> 00:18:41,348
Uh, hi.

380
00:18:42,849 --> 00:18:46,486
Uh, did you hear about
the goldfish who went bankrupt?

381
00:18:46,553 --> 00:18:47,387
Now he's a bronze fish.

382
00:18:48,555 --> 00:18:50,490
What?

383
00:18:50,557 --> 00:18:52,659
I guess you heard that one.

384
00:18:52,726 --> 00:18:53,560
I haven't
heard it!

385
00:18:53,627 --> 00:18:55,662
Good one,
SpongeBob.

386
00:18:55,729 --> 00:18:57,764
Thank you, you're too kind.

387
00:18:57,831 --> 00:18:59,900
Hey, what about this water?

388
00:18:59,966 --> 00:19:02,702
I mean, the stuff's everywhere.

389
00:19:02,769 --> 00:19:05,739
Tell the one about
the squirrel and
the light bulbs!

390
00:19:05,805 --> 00:19:09,142
Uh... hey, what about
this thing?

391
00:19:09,209 --> 00:19:10,043
Huh? Huh?

392
00:19:10,110 --> 00:19:12,545
Get on with
the squirrel jokes!

393
00:19:12,612 --> 00:19:16,383
Squirrel jokes! Squirrel jokes!
Squirrel jokes! Squirrel jokes!

394
00:19:16,449 --> 00:19:19,686
Squirrel jokes! Squirrel jokes!
Squirrel jokes!

395
00:19:19,753 --> 00:19:21,721
What do I do? What do I do?

396
00:19:21,788 --> 00:19:23,556
SpongeBob, you've got
a choice to make:

397
00:19:23,623 --> 00:19:27,694
Your friends or your career?

398
00:19:27,761 --> 00:19:30,363
Squirrel jokes! Squirrel jokes!

399
00:19:37,704 --> 00:19:40,040
Howdy, y'all!

400
00:19:42,542 --> 00:19:45,879
( in Southern accent ):
How come it takes
more than one squirrel

401
00:19:45,946 --> 00:19:47,547
to screw in a light bulb?

402
00:19:47,614 --> 00:19:51,618
Because they're so darn stupid!

403
00:19:52,686 --> 00:19:54,120
My people!

404
00:19:54,654 --> 00:19:56,790
Seriously, folks,
I want to give

405
00:19:56,856 --> 00:19:58,892
a special thanks
to my friend Sandy.

406
00:20:00,727 --> 00:20:01,995
Sandy, don't you see?

407
00:20:02,062 --> 00:20:03,630
The crowd loves these jokes.

408
00:20:03,697 --> 00:20:05,231
Am I right?

409
00:20:07,567 --> 00:20:08,935
Don't you see, Sandy?

410
00:20:09,002 --> 00:20:10,670
We're laughing with
you, not at you.

411
00:20:10,737 --> 00:20:12,472
Do you understand
now, Sandy?

412
00:20:12,539 --> 00:20:14,774
Huh? Do you?

413
00:20:14,841 --> 00:20:16,509
I understand exactly
what's going on, SpongeBob.

414
00:20:16,576 --> 00:20:18,845
Great.

415
00:20:18,912 --> 00:20:20,580
I knew sooner or later
you'd get it.

416
00:20:20,647 --> 00:20:22,148
What a great sport.

417
00:20:22,215 --> 00:20:23,750
Let's give a big hand
to Sandy!

418
00:20:23,817 --> 00:20:27,520
But clap slow, because remember,
she's a squirrel!

419
00:20:28,588 --> 00:20:30,890
Thank you.

420
00:20:30,957 --> 00:20:33,827
You've been a wonderful audience
and, uh, good night.

421
00:20:33,893 --> 00:20:38,565
Ah... another spectacular
performance, SpongeBob.

422
00:20:38,631 --> 00:20:40,967
Oh, what's this, a fan letter?

423
00:20:46,639 --> 00:20:49,042
You did it, SpongeBob.

424
00:20:49,109 --> 00:20:52,312
You get to keep your career
and your friends.

425
00:20:57,617 --> 00:21:01,454
I'm glad that Sandy can finally
see the genius of my comedy.

426
00:21:01,521 --> 00:21:03,023
Good morning, Sandy.

427
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:10,730
( in Southern accent ):
Well, how-dee!

428
00:21:10,797 --> 00:21:12,799
Sandy, are you
feeling all right?

429
00:21:12,866 --> 00:21:16,970
I'm just being
my au-naturally squirrely self.

430
00:21:19,906 --> 00:21:22,609
Well, come
on in.

431
00:21:22,675 --> 00:21:24,677
Y'all must be tired

432
00:21:24,744 --> 00:21:27,680
from telling them
funny jokes all the time.

433
00:21:27,747 --> 00:21:29,482
Why don't you take
a load off?

434
00:21:31,017 --> 00:21:33,653
Uh, Sandy, I think something's
wrong with this seat.

435
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:39,325
Naw, I just done put glue on it
so you wouldn't fall off.

436
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:41,661
Are them flowers
for me?

437
00:21:41,728 --> 00:21:44,664
You even done
got me a vase.

438
00:21:44,731 --> 00:21:47,400
But Sandy, that...
that's not a...

439
00:21:48,401 --> 00:21:49,002
Ain't that purdy?

440
00:21:49,069 --> 00:21:50,670
Sandy, I need wa...

441
00:21:50,737 --> 00:21:51,571
Oh, that's right.

442
00:21:51,638 --> 00:21:53,873
You's a sea critter.

443
00:21:53,940 --> 00:21:57,877
Now, what was that thing
sea critters need?

444
00:21:57,944 --> 00:22:02,515
Um... uh, let's see...
sea critters need, uh...

445
00:22:02,582 --> 00:22:03,283
Wa...

446
00:22:03,349 --> 00:22:05,485
Oh, wait!
Don't tell me.

447
00:22:05,552 --> 00:22:06,619
I know this one.

448
00:22:06,686 --> 00:22:07,954
Wa...

449
00:22:08,021 --> 00:22:10,690
Wa... llet?
Watch? Waffles?

450
00:22:10,757 --> 00:22:11,691
( hoarsely ):
Sandy!

451
00:22:11,758 --> 00:22:14,094
Water!

452
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:15,595
Well, why didn't you
just say so?

453
00:22:15,662 --> 00:22:17,730
Here you go.

454
00:22:17,797 --> 00:22:20,967
Yup, us squirrels
sure is stupid.

455
00:22:23,203 --> 00:22:24,604
( gurgling ):
Sandy!

456
00:22:24,671 --> 00:22:26,039
Squirrels is dumb.

457
00:22:26,106 --> 00:22:28,041
( gurgling ):
Sandy!

458
00:22:28,108 --> 00:22:30,743
Okay, Sandy, I get it!

459
00:22:30,810 --> 00:22:32,278
What's that?

460
00:22:32,345 --> 00:22:33,513
You want more?

461
00:22:33,580 --> 00:22:34,414
Okey-dokey.

462
00:22:34,481 --> 00:22:36,616
More water for the sea critter.

463
00:22:37,951 --> 00:22:40,620
( gurgling ):
Okay, Sandy, okay!

464
00:22:40,687 --> 00:22:42,288
I get it!

465
00:22:44,057 --> 00:22:47,227
No more squirrel jokes.

466
00:22:47,293 --> 00:22:48,695
SpongeBob! SpongeBob!

467
00:22:48,761 --> 00:22:50,697
SpongeBob! SpongeBob!

468
00:22:50,763 --> 00:22:53,166
Thank you, thank you very much.

469
00:22:53,233 --> 00:22:54,801
On my way over here
I ran into a squirrel

470
00:22:54,868 --> 00:22:57,103
and I said, "Hey

471
00:22:57,170 --> 00:22:58,972
"why don't you go get
a couple squirrel friends

472
00:22:59,038 --> 00:23:01,808
and we'll go change
a light bulb?"

473
00:23:03,810 --> 00:23:08,314
But seriously, folks, the only
thing dumber than a squirrel

474
00:23:08,381 --> 00:23:09,449
is a sponge!

475
00:23:11,451 --> 00:23:14,821
I mean, we're so dumb,
we don't even have a vertebrae!

476
00:23:16,456 --> 00:23:17,023
Look at me!

477
00:23:17,090 --> 00:23:19,626
I got no bones.

478
00:23:20,660 --> 00:23:21,494
That's true.

479
00:23:22,862 --> 00:23:25,498
Crabs? Oh, brother.

480
00:23:25,565 --> 00:23:29,335
They're so cheap they can't even
pay attention!

481
00:23:30,937 --> 00:23:33,206
It's true!
I am cheap!

482
00:23:33,273 --> 00:23:35,742
Now let me tell you
about those fish.

483
00:23:35,808 --> 00:23:37,610
Boy, are they smelly.

484
00:23:37,677 --> 00:23:38,311
Whoo-hoo!

485
00:23:38,378 --> 00:23:40,079
How could a creature

486
00:23:40,146 --> 00:23:43,416
who spends so much time
in the water smell so bad?

487
00:23:43,483 --> 00:23:44,484
I mean, really.

488
00:23:44,551 --> 00:23:47,387
( flatly ):
Soap, soap, what is soap?

489
00:23:52,192 --> 00:23:55,195
And don't even get me started
on starfish!

490
00:24:01,100 --> 00:24:05,972
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

491
00:24:06,039 --> 00:24:06,973
and NICKELODEON]