You know, SpongeBob...
sometimes it's nice to hang up my hang glider
and just watch the clouds roll by.
Yep. And just relax.
Yeah...
relax.
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! You know what that cloud looks like?
What?
A flower.
They all look like flowers, SpongeBob... all the time.
They sure do.
You know, normally I'd offer to race you
to the top of Coral Cliffs
but I don't want to miss out
on a second of this beautiful beauty.
Me either.
Who wants to get all dirty anyway?
Yeah... and sweaty.
Besides, I think we know who'd get to the top first.
Yeah.
Me.
That's funny, Sandy.
It sounded like you said
you could beat me in a climbing contest.
'Course I can!
I'm a squirrel!
See!
I thought that meant you were nuts.
Nope. It means I'm a natural born climber!
I'm from the surface world
and nothing prepares you for climbing
like growing up on good old dry land.
Land-shmand!
It's all about finger strength, baby.
And if there's anything we've got plenty of down here
it's finger strength.
What do you say to that, Miss Mittens?
I say I'm already halfway there!
Aah!
No fair, Sandy!
You got a head start!
Sorry, SpongeBob!
That's the way the coral crumbles!
Hey!
Ohh!
You did that on purpose!
Yeah, but this is a accident.
Aah!
Too bad you forgot your umbrella.
Well, it's about time you showed up.
But you were... I saw you... I...
I want a rematch!
First one to the Krusty Krab is the winner.
Ain't no way a sea critter
can run faster than a land critter!
I can underwater.
I'm...
hydrodynamically designed!
Think you can win a fair race
in that clunky tin tube?
Why don't you ask my be-hind?
That is... if you can catch it.
What do you say to that, Hydropants?
I say, I'm already halfway there...
halfway there...
Hey!
Thanks for the face lift!
You see, I told you you didn't have a...
There you are!
Ain't that just like a land creature
to keep a sea creature...
waiting!
I thought y'all wanted a rematch!
I did! And I took a head start like you did!
I was just funnin' with ya that time!
But I guess all y'all underwater don't have to play fair!
I guess we don't, air breather!
Water sucker!
Tree climber!
Gulf streamer.
Kite flier!
Chum chewer!
Take that back, you... not... wet... person.
Aha! You can't even come up with another name!
That proves it!
Proves what?
That land critters are better than sea critters.
Better at what?
Oh, durn near everything, I guess.
Cattle ropin and pie eatin' and wood choppin'
and flyin'.
What's she blabbering about?
She says land creatures are best.
Only 'cause it's true.
We're best at horseridin' and fur stylin' and rowin'.
Y'all got us licked in swimmin'
but we got corn shuckin'
and hay bailin' and barn raisin'
and... fishin'!
And name callin' fer sure.
And drowning! Don't forget drowning!
Good one, Squidward! Whoo!
Not on your life, sport.
I'll admit.
You've got some pretty good moves, for a squirrel.
But you're still just a land creature.
Squirrels can do anything they want to!
I bet you can't eat a Krabby Double Deluxe in one bite.
Ah...
Give me that!
They don't call me Cheeks for nothin'.
Well, that's just one thing.
Can you do this?
Everyone in my family can do that!
Uh... uh...
How about this, huh?
Can you reproduce by budding?
Can ya?
No!
Most importantly
can you do this?
Well, what would I want to do
any of that dumb stuff for anyway?
Admit it, Sandy—
you can't do anything us sea creatures can do!
In fact, if it wasn't for that suit
you couldn't even live down here!
Well, you don't...
I don't need to...
Grr...
I'll show y'all!
I don't need this suit!
Yah!
And I don't need this helmet neither!
Neptune preserve her!
How long can she stay like that?
I don't know.
Sandy's a girl?
Wow, Sandy.
You sure proved us wrong.
I guess land creatures are better.
At least, until they need to breathe...
Yep, won't be long now.
Feeling lightheaded yet?
Uh-uh.
Remember this?
It's free!
Stop laughin' at me!
I knew it!
There was no way some "airhead"
was going to win anything against a water breather!
Airhead...
Huh?
Sea creatures rule...!
Water! Water! Water!
All right, all right.
You had your little laugh.
But now it's my turn!
Y'all think you're such hot stuff, don't ya?
Swimmin' around with your fancy gills 'n such!
But none of you wet heads would last a minute on my turf.
Dry land!
Do we have to wear pickle jars?
Nope, nothin' but the clothes on your backs!
One minute? No problem... landy!
Well, so are you going or not?
Uh... well... we... uh...
Actually... uh... you know... uh...
We can't... uh... because...
We're... late for... um...
Our fitting!
Oh, you mean for your chicken costumes?
Hey... we are not chicken!
My popcorn!
Yeah, we're not chicken, we'll do it.
There! Mission accomplished!
Look, unless you can stay above water for one measly minute
you forfeit the contest
and prove that land creatures are better than sea creatures!
No way, San-day.
We can take on your challenge.
Yeah!
We're not afraid of your dumb old land.
Yeah!
We're sea creatures!
Yeah!
Okay.
Well, this is it.
Wait, boy!
Make it last.
Thanks, Mr. Krabs.
Okay...
Here I go!
Hey... this isn't so bad!
We can do this!
Hey, Patrick, come on up!
The air is fine!
I'm gonna do it quick and get it over with.
Cannonball...!
Hey, I lost my trunks!
Hi, SpongeBob!
All right, Pat! You made it!
Mr. Krabs!
Come on up, Mr. Krabs!
All ashore that's goin' ashore, Mr. Squidward!
Land... ho!
Lookin' good, Mr. Krabs!
Yeah, whoo-hoo!
Come on, Squidward!
You're missing all the dry.
Come on, Squidward!
Squidward! Squidward!
Well, I'll do it... but I won't like it.
Squidward! Squidward! Squid...
What?
Well, here we are!
This is pretty easy!
I may keep a second rock up here!
Once you get your land legs, it's not so bad!
We're the masters
of land and sea!
Hey, it's a local. Hi!
We're from underwater!
Do you know Sandy Cheeks?
Three, two, one...
Well, tan my fur!
They made it!
Better go congratulate them!
SpongeBob?
Patrick?
Hmm, where did those critters get to?
Holy Guacamole!
You can't eat my friends, you rats with wings!
Hi-yah!
Uh, thanks for saving us, Sandy.
You know everyone's best at something.
But no one's best at everything.
Sorry I made you take off your helmet, Sandy.
Sorry I made you go up on dry land, SpongeBob.
Three cheers for feeling sorry for ourselves!
Hip-hip...
Hooray!
Hip-hip...
Hooray!
Hip-hip...
Hooray...
Ah... the Bikini Bottom Zoo is having its annual free day.
Free balloons...
free drinks...
free light bulbs?
Aha!
Top 'o the mornin', boys!
Whew! Next stop.. gift shop.
There it is— Oyster Stadium.
Not only do they have
the largest oyster held in captivity
it also does tricks.
He spits a giant pearl
100 feet in the air
like a cannon ball!
Why are we hanging around watching a cheap imitation?
Let's get over there!
This is the greatest day of our lives!
This is the greatest day of our lives?
Boring.
You're right, Patrick, we came to see...
pearls 100 feet in the air! Right?
I'll try my oyster call.
Well, I'm outta here.
Thanks for nothin', SpongeBob.
Come on, come on, wake up already!
I think it's working!
Hey, Patrick, it's waking up!
Oh boy, did I miss it?
No, the show's about to begin...
What's wrong with Clamu?
Easy, girl, it's me, Joe, remember?
Now, this is a show!
MAN Attention, zoo patrons.
Clamu The Giant Oyster is on an emotional rampage!
Please scream and run around in circles.
Thanks for coming.
You boys better get out of this area, pronto!
There's nothing more dangerous
than an emotionally disturbed oyster.
You didn't do anything
that might have caused this tragedy, did you?
Uh...
No way! Only a jerk would upset a gentle giant.
Right, SpongeBob?
Right.
Man, if I ever see the guy who upset Clamu
I'd have a few choice words for him, like...
"you"... and... "are"... and... "a jerk!"
Are you sure you didn't see anything suspicious?
I already said I didn't, Patrick, sheesh!
Hey, lets investigate this crime
and catch the lowlife who's responsible.
Give it a rest, Patrick!
There's no crime to investigate
Now go home!
Stupid Patrick... I didn't do anything wrong!
Aw, what am I getting so worked up about?
I'm sure that by tomorrow
this whole ugly mess will be a funny memory
Our top story
giant oyster has its feelings hurt!
The only clue that could be found
was this lone peanut!
And as you can hear, the oyster continues
to emit its horrible cry
A cry so powerful, it can be heard around the world
A cry that not only breaks the sound barrier
it breaks the hearts of our citizens!
What kind of cruel, careless, evil person
would deliberately upset one of Neptune's most gentle creatures?
Aah!
No, Gary! How would I know anything about the oyster?
Defensive? I'm not being defensive!
Barnacles! What is this, 20 questions or something?
This is getting a little out of hand.
All I did was throw a peanut.
I didn't mean to make the oyster cry!
I just wanted to see it perform spectacular stunts!
Aw, everyone's going to hate me!
I, I need some advice.
Now, let's see now...
who could never hate me no matter what I do?
Squidward!
Squidward! Oh Squidward!
SpongeBob! Do you have to knock so loudly?
Sorry, neighbor!
Oh... that overgrown clam
is giving me a headache!
I can't even take my afternoon beauty nap!
Funny thing you should mention that old oyster
Because I... uh... was kind wondering, um...
Let's say I know this guy
who may have something to do with the oyster.
You know the guy who did it?
Oh, this is great!
You and I can go turn him in!
And then I'll get so much sleep, I'll be gorgeous!
Um, actually, I... I'm just talking hypothetically.
You don't know who did it?
Well, um, I, uh, no!
Squidward?
Gotcha!
Aah!
Where were you on the day of today?
Don't play games with me, mister!
Hey, Patrick, what are you doing?
Oh hi, SpongeBob!
I'm just continuing my investigation
of the great Clamu Caper!
Um... have you found out anything?
Yes!
No, wait... um... no.
But this grain of sand looks pretty suspicious
and so does this rock!
And I've got a few questions for this little piece of grass!
Don't worry, SpongeBob, Patrick's on the case!
The truth will be revealed!
I'd better go see Sandy, she'll know what to do!
That poor, poor critter!
What kind of inconsiderate person
would upset such a gentle creature?
Uh, that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about...
Why, when I find out who caused that oyster so much pain
No more jiggery pokery!
Now, what was it you wanted to talk about, SpongeBob?
Hey, SpongeBob, how come you're all twitchy like that?
Twitchy? Twitchy? Who's twitchy?
I'm not twitchy!
Sorry, Sandy, I have to um, um...
go get my hair cut.
SpongeBob doesn't have hair...
or does he?
Hey, SpongeBob!
This is it!
All of the clues are coming together!
I followed these footprints right to this exact spot
and then, right where you're standing...
I found this bag of peanuts! Ha!
Oh, I'm so close to solving this crime
I can almost taste it!
Mmm...
Boy, crime-fighting sure makes me hungry
and this yellow Popsicle hits the spot!
Okay, uh, good luck with all that, Patrick
and, uh... I'll see you later!
Open up! This is the police!
Uh, uh, just a second!
Are you SpongeBob SquarePants?
Y-y-yes?
Put those eyeballs back in your head, son.
We've got a few questions for you.
Were you at the zoo
on the day of the oyster incident?
Um, um, um, yes!
Did you, or did you not take part
in various activities of zoo-time merriment?
Yes...
And are you familiar with... this peanut?
Yes!
Just one more question...
Is it true that you were at the oyster's lair
with a Mr. Patrick Star?
Yes! Yes! It's true!
It's all true!
The merriment, the peanut...
the Patrick!
That's all we need to know, son!
Let's book him!
Wow, you guys are good!
I'm the last person I would have suspected
but I was looking for me all the time!
It's the perfect crime!
Yeah, yeah, tell it to the judge, pinky!
Oh no! Patrick's too sensitive for the big house!
Wait, stop!
I'm the one you want!
I am the criminal!
Hey, everybody, let's throw peanuts at him
and see how he likes it!
I get what I deserve!
Ouch!
Wait!
Hold your peanuts!
Patrick Star is innocent!
I have come here to reveal the truth!
They say that truth and honesty
will be rewarded with trust and forgiveness!
I'm here to lay my cards on the table
to trim the branches of deception from the tree of life
to shave away the unkempt sideburns from the face of truth! I...
Hey! Just get on with it!
I am the one who threw the peanut.
I know now that what I have done is wrong...
and so I say, I am sorry, giant performing oyster!
I am sorry, Patrick.
I am sorry, citizens of Bikini Bottom
Hey! Let's throw peanuts at both of 'em!
Wait! Here's the real criminal.
Uh... top of the morning?
Mr. Krabs!
I knew it!
Mr. Krabs stole a very important item
from the oyster!
Behold...
Wait a minute...
Behold!
The oyster's pearl!
Here you go, girl.
Mama! Mama!
Mother of pearl!
The oyster's a mother!
And that pearl's no pearl.
It's an egg!
Mama! Mama!
Aw...
But it's... free day!
and NICKELODEON