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[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

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[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

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and NICKELODEON]

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And now it's time for...

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hosted by SpongeBob's number
one fan, Patchy the Pirate.

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Ahoy, fellow fanatics!

7
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Welcome to Patchy's Pick.

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Come on back to the galley.

9
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I'm cooking up a real treat
for you today.

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We're going to see me
favorite show, "Shanghaied."

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Ta-dah!

12
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Boring!

13
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If it isn't my
less-than-amusing
sidekick

14
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Potty the Parrot.

15
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Potty, say hello
to the nice people.

16
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I'm being held here
against my will— help!

17
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Arrgh!

18
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Potty, come back!

19
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Potty?

20
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Potty!

21
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Where'd you go?

22
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Potty, you in there, buddy?

23
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Potty!

24
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Potty!

25
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Get me out of here!

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Well, roll the cartoon.

27
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Mm, Kelpo...

28
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"With one of eight
essential prizes inside!"

29
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Holy Shrimp!

30
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Squidward!

31
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The sky had a baby
from my cereal box.

32
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Squidward!

33
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Squidward!
The sky had a baby!

34
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That's a giant anchor—
now, go away!

35
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Hey,
SpongeBob.

36
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The sky had a baby.

37
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I know.

38
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What should we name it?

39
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How about...

40
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Why don't you two
go climb its anchor rope?

41
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I'm sure it goes somewhere
far away.

42
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Now look what you've done.

43
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We didn't do it.

44
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Our hands are clean.

45
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Clean.

46
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Well, I'm going to get
to the bottom of this thing.

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Isn't that the top?

48
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Squid, wait! Squid!

49
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Ship!

50
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You are in your
little fantasy world.

51
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No, look— a giant ship.

52
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Great, let's go.

53
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I can give this
anchor-dropper a
piece of my mind.

54
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I don't know, Squidward.

55
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That ship has a spooky
green glow around it.

56
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Probably because
its owner is too
lazy to clean

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or drop his anchors
in the right place.

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Squid, wait.

59
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All right, who owns this crate?

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Come on out, I want
to file a complaint.

61
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Doesn't this place
seem familiar?

62
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I don't know— why?

63
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Doesn't it just ring a bell?

64
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Yes.

65
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I know who owns
this boat.

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I just can't place
the name.

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No, no, it's not...

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I am the Flying Dutchman.

69
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That's it!

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This ship belongs
to the Red Baron.

71
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Who be disturbing
the Flying Dutchman
in his own lair?

72
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Squidward wants
to complain to you.

73
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I... No, I...
I don't.

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What about all that stuff
about his ship being dirty?

75
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I never said that.

76
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Insulting a man's ship be worse
than insulting his mother.

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Wait— it was his mother
you said was dirty,
not his ship.

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Ow.

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You're next.

80
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That was a close one.

81
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Welcome back.

82
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That was
a closer one.

83
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Welcome back.

84
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Hey, how come when they act up

85
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all they get
is the welcome wagon?

86
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If you ask me, it's...

87
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So are you going
to try that again?

88
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Probably.

89
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How about now?

90
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No, no,
they're not.

91
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Now listen.

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"Whosoever sets foot
on the Flying Dutchman's ship

93
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"uninvited or otherwise

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"shall become members
of his ghostly crew forever...

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and, uh... ever."

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Will we be getting
business cards?

97
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Silence!

98
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You're part
of my crew now

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and our job is
to sail around and
frighten people.

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It'll be grueling,
mind-numbing and repetitive.

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Just like... daytime television.

102
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Now, you listen
here, Mister.

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If you think
I'm going to spend

104
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more than five minutes
on this dumpster

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then you're crazy.

106
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I mean, look at this place.

107
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It's disgusting.

108
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Whoever told you
that hanging oil lamps

109
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next to hardwood paneling
was a good idea...

110
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I suppose you're going
to show me...

111
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Oh, that's very nice.

112
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Oh, is this some kind
of magic act?

113
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Would anyone else
like to enter the
Fly of Despair?

114
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No, we know
our place now,
Mr. Dutchman.

115
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We'll do
anything you say.

116
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Then for starters,
you can swab the deck.

117
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Look, Patrick, a real,
live ghost mop.

118
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And I got this hat.

119
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Listen!

120
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We're going
to Bikini Bottom tonight

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for a little haunting spree

122
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so I want this ship
to look good and scary.

123
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You mean you want it
to look good... and scary.

124
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Well, I think
we could probably...

125
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No, no, he means
he wants it to look
so good that it's scary.

126
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Or maybe that
by looking so scary

127
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you forget that
it doesn't look good.

128
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I don't get it.

129
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Look, it's easy...

130
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Never mind
what it means!

131
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I just want it
to look scary!

132
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That's it!

133
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You know, mold growing
on the ceilings

134
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bugs in the sink.

135
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So you don't want it
to look good?

136
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Get moving!

137
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What a night be this.

138
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Crew, howl with me
so that we might set
the seven seas

139
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ablaze with fear!

140
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Eh, that'll do.

141
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Okay, square one.

142
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Since pink one's working
the navigation

143
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it's up to you to find
our first victim.

144
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Here, use this spyglass.

145
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Now, hurry up—
we're burning moonlight.

146
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Let's see who we can find.

147
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Captain, there's a guy
we can scare.

148
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I had four biscuits,
and I ate one.

149
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Then I only had three.

150
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Ah... it does me heart good

151
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to see children out
after dark.

152
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Pink one, take us
behind those rocks.

153
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Moving behind the rocks!

154
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Keep going!

155
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You're good, you're good.

156
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You're good.

157
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And... stop.

158
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We'll buff out those scratches.

159
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All right,
never mind it.

160
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Just jump out
when I give the signal.

161
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Boo!

162
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Prepare to be burdened
with the haunting memory

163
00:09:18,917 --> 00:09:21,820
of my ghostly ghost pirates.

164
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Was that the signal?

165
00:09:26,492 --> 00:09:27,726
Okay, sorry, sorry.

166
00:09:27,793 --> 00:09:28,660
Just do it again!

167
00:09:30,395 --> 00:09:35,534
With the haunting memory
of my ghostly ghost pirates!

168
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How does he do that?

169
00:09:49,848 --> 00:09:52,518
Get back on the ship.

170
00:09:52,584 --> 00:09:57,089
It's still a mystery.

171
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Those guys
are dorks.

172
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Yes, but they're my dorks.

173
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You're good,
you're good.

174
00:10:03,829 --> 00:10:04,830
You're good.

175
00:10:12,271 --> 00:10:13,405
Huh?

176
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You're good,
you're good.

177
00:10:18,277 --> 00:10:19,211
You're good.

178
00:10:27,519 --> 00:10:29,054
You're good,
you're good.

179
00:10:29,121 --> 00:10:30,055
You're good.

180
00:10:49,408 --> 00:10:52,077
Why did the Dutchman
ask us to wait in
our bunk room?

181
00:10:52,144 --> 00:10:53,979
Maybe he's going
to give us a reward.

182
00:10:54,046 --> 00:10:55,514
Like movie passes?

183
00:10:55,581 --> 00:10:57,416
Or an oversized
coffee mug!

184
00:11:01,153 --> 00:11:02,754
I've been thinking.

185
00:11:02,821 --> 00:11:04,056
Stop bouncing!

186
00:11:05,891 --> 00:11:10,028
This whole "crew for eternity"
thing isn't working out.

187
00:11:10,095 --> 00:11:12,831
It's not really you,
so much as it is me.

188
00:11:12,898 --> 00:11:14,366
You're setting us free?

189
00:11:14,433 --> 00:11:16,435
Well, actually,
I'm just going to eat you.

190
00:11:16,501 --> 00:11:18,370
See you at dinner.

191
00:11:21,273 --> 00:11:22,207
Wait.

192
00:11:22,274 --> 00:11:24,209
I have an idea.

193
00:11:24,276 --> 00:11:25,744
Really? What is it?

194
00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:27,446
Let's leave.

195
00:11:27,512 --> 00:11:28,880
But the door
is locked.

196
00:11:28,947 --> 00:11:31,249
And the only way out
is through the...

197
00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:33,185
perfume department!

198
00:11:37,589 --> 00:11:39,458
Let's do it.

199
00:11:54,206 --> 00:11:56,041
Blah!

200
00:12:06,785 --> 00:12:09,254
I always hate going
in there.

201
00:12:09,321 --> 00:12:10,255
Yeah.

202
00:12:10,322 --> 00:12:11,423
Wait, listen!

203
00:12:11,490 --> 00:12:12,991
Dear Diary...

204
00:12:13,058 --> 00:12:15,694
I've told them
I'm going to eat them tomorrow.

205
00:12:15,761 --> 00:12:17,763
I made up some
of that brown sauce

206
00:12:17,829 --> 00:12:20,365
my cousin showed me
just for the occasion.

207
00:12:20,432 --> 00:12:23,035
It's a good thing
I found my dining sock again.

208
00:12:24,836 --> 00:12:27,506
Remember the last time
I lost me dining sock?

209
00:12:27,572 --> 00:12:29,541
I couldn't eat for a whole week.

210
00:12:29,608 --> 00:12:32,110
Sure, sometimes I wonder
how I survive.

211
00:12:32,177 --> 00:12:33,912
If anything should
ever happen...

212
00:12:33,979 --> 00:12:34,913
Ahh!

213
00:12:38,984 --> 00:12:40,318
Give me back my sock!

214
00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:42,521
Everyone knows
I can't eat without it!

215
00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:43,488
Never!

216
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:45,457
Okay, then!

217
00:12:50,195 --> 00:12:51,663
Uh, oh,
give it to me!

218
00:12:51,730 --> 00:12:53,031
No!

219
00:12:53,098 --> 00:12:54,666
You're stretching
the elastic!

220
00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:57,202
It would seem
we have reached
an impasse.

221
00:12:57,269 --> 00:12:58,804
Pink one is right.

222
00:12:58,870 --> 00:13:00,672
Tell you what—

223
00:13:00,739 --> 00:13:05,410
you give me back the sock and
I'll give you... three wishes.

224
00:13:05,477 --> 00:13:06,778
Make it five.

225
00:13:06,845 --> 00:13:08,013
Four.

226
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:09,014
Three.

227
00:13:09,081 --> 00:13:10,348
Take it or leave it.

228
00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:12,718
Okay, uh, three.

229
00:13:12,784 --> 00:13:15,987
You get three wishes.

230
00:13:16,054 --> 00:13:17,923
Wow! Three wishes,
Pat.

231
00:13:17,989 --> 00:13:19,758
Isn't that great?

232
00:13:19,825 --> 00:13:23,161
Wishes... I wish
we had known that earlier.

233
00:13:24,596 --> 00:13:26,898
Okay, you got
two wishes left.

234
00:13:28,233 --> 00:13:30,202
Well, we still
have two more.

235
00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:31,703
How exciting!

236
00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:33,538
I wish Squidward were here
to see this.

237
00:13:33,605 --> 00:13:35,841
Ahh!

238
00:13:39,945 --> 00:13:42,614
Boy, I'm glad all that's over.

239
00:13:44,049 --> 00:13:46,885
Squidward, you're back!

240
00:13:46,952 --> 00:13:48,320
Guess what.

241
00:13:48,386 --> 00:13:49,654
The Dutchman gave us
three wishes!

242
00:13:49,721 --> 00:13:51,389
Patrick used the first one

243
00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:54,326
and I guess I...
just used the second one.

244
00:13:54,392 --> 00:13:56,161
Well, then the last one
you owe me

245
00:13:56,228 --> 00:13:58,330
because you got me back
into this mess!

246
00:13:58,396 --> 00:13:59,865
Wait, I think
it belongs to me!

247
00:14:06,438 --> 00:14:07,939
That's enough!

248
00:14:08,006 --> 00:14:11,610
Using my mystic
otherworldly powers

249
00:14:11,676 --> 00:14:15,514
I shall decide
who gets the last wish.

250
00:14:15,580 --> 00:14:18,049
Eenie-meenie-minie-mo,
catch a sailor by the toe.

251
00:14:18,116 --> 00:14:19,618
If he hollers, let him go.

252
00:14:19,684 --> 00:14:21,887
My mother told me
to pick the very best one

253
00:14:21,953 --> 00:14:23,488
and you are it!

254
00:14:23,555 --> 00:14:25,257
Our fate, SpongeBob!

255
00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:27,092
We're about
to get eaten!

256
00:14:27,159 --> 00:14:29,261
What can you wish for

257
00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:32,364
to make it so
we don't get eaten?

258
00:14:32,430 --> 00:14:33,799
Don't worry,
Squidward.

259
00:14:33,865 --> 00:14:35,567
I've got it
all figured out.

260
00:14:35,634 --> 00:14:37,435
He won't be able
to eat us

261
00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:39,604
because I wish
that the Dutchman

262
00:14:39,671 --> 00:14:40,839
was a vegetarian!

263
00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:47,779
Hooray!

264
00:14:47,846 --> 00:14:49,481
We're home!

265
00:14:49,548 --> 00:14:51,183
You did it,
SpongeBob.

266
00:14:51,249 --> 00:14:52,584
We're safe!

267
00:14:52,651 --> 00:14:54,686
But why have we
been turned into fruits?

268
00:14:56,655 --> 00:14:58,857
Hey, I get
a wish, too.

269
00:14:58,924 --> 00:15:02,394
Fruit prevents scurvy.

270
00:15:02,460 --> 00:15:03,628
Ahh!

271
00:15:05,463 --> 00:15:07,399
Hey, get back here
with that!

272
00:15:07,465 --> 00:15:10,068
I'll get you!

273
00:15:17,309 --> 00:15:19,311
Ahoy, children— I'm back!

274
00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:22,080
I hope all you boys and girls
enjoyed the show

275
00:15:22,147 --> 00:15:24,649
because it's time for you
to walk the plank.

276
00:15:27,052 --> 00:15:29,521
Oh, sorry, kids.

277
00:15:29,588 --> 00:15:33,158
What I meant to say was,
"It's time for fan mail."

278
00:15:34,359 --> 00:15:35,927
Hooray!

279
00:15:35,994 --> 00:15:39,097
And now the moment
you've all been waiting for!

280
00:15:39,164 --> 00:15:41,933
So get ready
to blow milk out your nose

281
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,669
because we're going
to open a letter!

282
00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:46,338
The envelope please,
Potty.

283
00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:48,874
Thank you, my fine,
feathered assistant.

284
00:15:48,940 --> 00:15:50,675
You're not welcome.

285
00:15:52,878 --> 00:15:54,679
Hey, Potty,
you smell something?

286
00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:56,748
Ah! Potty, that fuse
in your head!

287
00:15:56,815 --> 00:15:58,884
I told you we're
not doing that stunt!

288
00:15:58,950 --> 00:16:00,685
I didn't get the memo!

289
00:16:04,189 --> 00:16:07,959
Well, that's it
for Patchy's Pick.

290
00:16:08,026 --> 00:16:08,960
Hooray!

291
00:16:27,412 --> 00:16:29,981
Gary, looks like it's
that time of week again.

292
00:16:30,048 --> 00:16:32,250
Bath time!

293
00:16:32,317 --> 00:16:34,719
Come on, let's go get
the water started.

294
00:16:36,421 --> 00:16:39,891
You're going to have
to get in that tub, Gary.

295
00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:43,728
Now, Gary, we can do this
the hard way or the easy way.

296
00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:45,363
Or the medium way.

297
00:16:45,430 --> 00:16:47,565
Or the semi-medium-
easy-hard way.

298
00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:49,234
Or the sort of hard

299
00:16:49,301 --> 00:16:52,337
with a touch of awkward-easy,
difficult-challenging way.

300
00:16:52,404 --> 00:16:54,272
So that's how you want
to play it, huh?

301
00:16:55,540 --> 00:16:58,710
Gary, check out
this new toy.

302
00:16:58,777 --> 00:17:00,378
Fetch!

303
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:04,215
Huh?

304
00:17:04,282 --> 00:17:07,752
"New Boomerang Pet Ball—
Really works."

305
00:17:11,289 --> 00:17:12,157
Aye!

306
00:17:13,625 --> 00:17:16,962
Gary, there's a bomb strapped
to my chest!

307
00:17:17,028 --> 00:17:20,098
It's going to explode
in three seconds

308
00:17:20,165 --> 00:17:22,267
unless you take a bath!

309
00:17:22,334 --> 00:17:23,435
Please.

310
00:17:26,404 --> 00:17:29,274
I am now going
to assault your mind

311
00:17:29,341 --> 00:17:31,509
with subliminal messages.

312
00:17:38,216 --> 00:17:39,484
Sorry you had
to see that.

313
00:17:41,052 --> 00:17:43,621
Hello, fancy
French restaurant...

314
00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:45,690
I've got
a naughty snail here

315
00:17:45,757 --> 00:17:47,425
who won't take a bath.

316
00:17:47,492 --> 00:17:48,593
What?

317
00:17:48,660 --> 00:17:50,228
Could you say
that again?

318
00:17:50,295 --> 00:17:51,730
Slow down!

319
00:17:51,796 --> 00:17:53,965
It's like you're speaking
some other language.

320
00:17:55,300 --> 00:17:57,769
Hey, Gar,
how about some leapfrog?

321
00:17:57,836 --> 00:17:59,270
Whee-hee!

322
00:17:59,337 --> 00:18:01,406
Okay, your turn.

323
00:18:07,412 --> 00:18:10,115
Hey, Gar,
how about some leapfrog?

324
00:18:12,350 --> 00:18:15,320
I've got a crisp
dollar bill for
the next fella

325
00:18:15,387 --> 00:18:16,955
to take a bath
in this house!

326
00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:37,175
That didn't
work either, huh?

327
00:18:38,443 --> 00:18:39,511
Gary! Gary! Gary!

328
00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:41,379
Look what I found!

329
00:18:41,446 --> 00:18:44,616
It's an old pirate
treasure map
revealing the location

330
00:18:44,682 --> 00:18:46,151
of buried pirate
treasure

331
00:18:46,217 --> 00:18:48,319
in this very house.

332
00:18:48,386 --> 00:18:50,922
Come on, boy, let's
go get that treasure!

333
00:18:50,989 --> 00:18:52,023
Whoo!

334
00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:53,725
Okay, Gary.

335
00:18:53,792 --> 00:18:55,794
Now, 40 paces to the left.

336
00:18:55,860 --> 00:19:00,098
One, two, three,
four, five, six

337
00:19:00,165 --> 00:19:02,967
seven, eight,
nine, ten...

338
00:19:03,034 --> 00:19:08,840
24, 25, 26, 27... 40.

339
00:19:08,907 --> 00:19:11,142
The treasure
must be in here.

340
00:19:11,209 --> 00:19:12,477
Wow, Gary, look!

341
00:19:12,544 --> 00:19:14,512
A pirate treasure chest!

342
00:19:14,579 --> 00:19:15,880
Meow.

343
00:19:15,947 --> 00:19:19,517
Why, no, Gary,
this isn't the bathtub.

344
00:19:19,584 --> 00:19:21,419
It's treasure!

345
00:19:21,486 --> 00:19:23,088
Look— doubloons.

346
00:19:23,154 --> 00:19:25,090
Don't drop them.

347
00:19:25,156 --> 00:19:27,092
Look at this brooch!

348
00:19:27,158 --> 00:19:28,726
Meow.

349
00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:30,829
I don't know what a snail
wants with a brooch!

350
00:19:30,895 --> 00:19:32,897
Now, why don't you
just get in the tub?

351
00:19:35,166 --> 00:19:36,768
Get in the tub!

352
00:19:37,969 --> 00:19:39,404
Get in the tub!

353
00:19:39,471 --> 00:19:40,905
Get in the tub!

354
00:19:40,972 --> 00:19:42,006
In the tub!

355
00:19:42,073 --> 00:19:43,074
In the tub!

356
00:19:48,379 --> 00:19:51,049
Now, Gary, are you going
to get in this tub

357
00:19:51,116 --> 00:19:52,584
or am I going
to have to...

358
00:20:00,091 --> 00:20:01,993
Gary, uh... could you, uh...

359
00:20:02,060 --> 00:20:02,994
Gary, no!

360
00:20:04,462 --> 00:20:06,898
Gary!

361
00:20:09,701 --> 00:20:11,336
All right, Gary.

362
00:20:11,402 --> 00:20:13,905
You have duped and/or
frustrated me for the last time!

363
00:20:13,972 --> 00:20:17,142
So if I can't get you
to come to the bath

364
00:20:17,208 --> 00:20:20,011
I'll just have to bring the bath
to you.

365
00:20:26,317 --> 00:20:27,652
Psst... Gary...

366
00:20:30,121 --> 00:20:33,424
Bath delivery.

367
00:20:38,263 --> 00:20:39,931
Come back, Gary.

368
00:20:39,998 --> 00:20:43,234
I have something
to share with you.

369
00:20:49,474 --> 00:20:51,342
This is more like it.

370
00:20:55,980 --> 00:20:56,881
Meow.

371
00:20:59,817 --> 00:21:03,588
What are you waiting for, Gary?

372
00:21:03,655 --> 00:21:04,889
Meow, meow, meow.

373
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:11,763
Oh, stuck in a tree?

374
00:21:11,829 --> 00:21:14,199
Meow, meow, meow.

375
00:21:14,265 --> 00:21:18,169
It's time
to clean up your act, Gary.

376
00:21:25,076 --> 00:21:29,480
Meow, meow, meow...

377
00:21:29,547 --> 00:21:30,949
Oh, no!

378
00:21:31,015 --> 00:21:34,819
I bathed Gary too hard
and removed his skin.

379
00:21:34,886 --> 00:21:37,188
Meow, meow, meow, meow.

380
00:21:38,523 --> 00:21:40,191
Gary!

381
00:21:42,527 --> 00:21:44,429
Bring that ladder back
this instant!

382
00:21:46,397 --> 00:21:48,099
I am not amused, mister.

383
00:21:48,166 --> 00:21:51,002
You're going to take a bath and
you're going to get clean now!

384
00:21:51,069 --> 00:21:52,136
Meow.

385
00:21:52,203 --> 00:21:54,505
I am so the boss of you.

386
00:21:54,572 --> 00:21:55,440
Meow.

387
00:21:55,506 --> 00:21:57,141
It's a free country

388
00:21:57,208 --> 00:21:59,677
but you live in my house,
under my rules.

389
00:21:59,744 --> 00:22:00,745
Meow.

390
00:22:00,812 --> 00:22:02,647
Don't use that tone with me.

391
00:22:02,714 --> 00:22:04,916
You will do what I say,
when I say!

392
00:22:07,252 --> 00:22:08,253
What are you doing?

393
00:22:08,319 --> 00:22:09,887
I am talking to you, Mister.

394
00:22:11,956 --> 00:22:13,725
Do not go near that mud puddle!

395
00:22:13,791 --> 00:22:15,059
Gary, do you hear me?

396
00:22:15,126 --> 00:22:16,628
I am giving you
three seconds

397
00:22:16,694 --> 00:22:18,529
to get a away
from that mud puddle.

398
00:22:18,596 --> 00:22:22,900
One, two,
two and a half...

399
00:22:22,967 --> 00:22:24,302
Don't make me say three.

400
00:22:25,536 --> 00:22:26,371
Gary!

401
00:22:27,305 --> 00:22:29,173
Gary! Gary!

402
00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:30,508
Gary!

403
00:22:32,176 --> 00:22:34,545
I'm a dirty boy.

404
00:22:36,414 --> 00:22:37,849
Meow.

405
00:22:37,915 --> 00:22:40,485
Yeah, yeah, Gary, I'm
getting behind my ears.

406
00:22:47,158 --> 00:22:50,728
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

407
00:22:50,795 --> 00:22:53,331
and NICKELODEON]