Well, it's the worst time of the day once again.
Closing time.
Well, see you in the a.m., Mr. Krabs.
Hold on there, SpongeBob.
Take that pile of filth out with you.
Mr. Krabs
you shouldn't talk about Squidward like that.
He means this filth, you loon.
Hmm, dumpster writing!
The voice of the people.
"Up with bubbles, down with air."
"Nematodes are people, too."
Ha, those nematodes.
Here's one somebody didn't finish:
"Squidward smells."
"Good."
Hmm, what's this one?
"Krabs is a..."
Hmm?
"Krabs is a..."
Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Well, sometimes, but not... recently.
Hi, garbage man.
Hi, SpongeBob.
Hi, Patrick.
Hey, Patrick, do you know
what this word means?
"Krabs..."
Uh, isn't that the red, sweaty guy you work for?
Nuh-uh, not that word.
That word.
Hey!
I think I know what that means.
That's one of those sentence enhancers.
Sentence enhancers?
You use them when you want to talk fancy.
You just sprinkle it over anything you say
and wham-o!
You got yourself a spicy sentence sandwich.
Oh, I get it.
Let me try.
Hello, Patrick.
Lovely day we're having
isn't it?
Why, yes, it is, SpongeBob.
This ( dolphin chirps ) day
is particularly lovely.
How right you are, Patrick.
Ooh, you're right, Patrick.
My lips are tingling from the spiciness of this conversation.
Ooh-hoo, mine, too.
It tingles when I laugh.
Hello, customers.
Nice day we're having, huh?
Did he just say...
Aye, he did.
Hey, Patrick, how the are you?
Pretty good, SpongeBob.
I thought this was a restaurant, not a gutter-mouth convention.
Attention, customers.
Today's special
is a crabby pattie
served in a greasy sauce
and grilled to ( dolphin chirps ) perfection.
And, don't forget to ask us to
the fries.
It'll be our pleasure.
Hi, Squidward.
How the are you?
Nice ( dolphin chirps ) day
isn't it, Squidward?
I don't understand.
That guy's talented.
He doesn't have to work blue.
Let's go somewhere more family oriented.
Huh?
The Krusty Krab!
She's empty!
All hands on deck!
Batten the front doors!
Brace the cash register!
Break out the happy snacks!
Squidward!
Where have all me beautiful paying customers gone?
Apparently the two barnacle- mouth brothers
just learned a new word
and SpongeBob just said it over the intercom.
Well, what was it? What did he say?
Uh, he said, uh, well, he said...
Huh?
SpongeBob and friend!
Front and center!
Why, I ought to make the two of you paint the Krusty Krab
for using such language!
But, Mr. Krabs
we were only using our sentence enhancers.
Yeah, it's fancy talk.
There ain't nothing fancy about that word!
You mean, ?
Yes, that one!
Now, quit saying that.
It's a bad word.
Bad word?
Yes, siree.
That's bad word number 11.
In fact, there are 13 bad words
you should never use.
Don't you mean there are only seven?
Not if you're a sailor.
Wow, 13.
That's a lot of bad words.
Okay, boys, I want you to promise me
you'll never use that word again.
We promise.
Gee, I sure am glad Mr. Krabs told us
that word we were using was a bad word.
Yeah, me, too
because classy sophisticates like us
should not stain our lips with cursing.
Yea, verily.
Now let's play a nice, wholesome game
of Eels and Escalators.
Oh, boy, my favorite!
Come on, Gary needs a new pair of shoes.
Ooh, eels.
Too bad, SpongeBob.
You got to ride the eel.
Darn.
My turn!
Hooray!
Escalators!
Up, up, up!
Come on, escalators, escalators, escalators.
Eels again.
My turn!
Escalators!
Escalators, escalators, escalators.
Eels?
Es-kee-lators!
Well, this is your last chance, SpongeBob.
Oh, if you get eels again, you lose.
Ooh...
escalators, escalators, escalators!
Ha! Escalators!
Eels.
Bah!
Ohhhhh.
You said number 11.
I-I-I didn't mean...
You got to understand, Patrick.
I was trying...
What I meant to say...
Some things just slip out.
You got to understand.
Don't worry, SpongeBob.
I understand.
Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs!
Patrick! Patrick, no!
Please don't tell.
But you said
Aha!
Now I'm going to tell Mr. Krabs on you!
Not if I tell first!
I can run faster than you.
See you at the Krusty Krab!
Oh, no!
Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs!
What, what, what?
Patrick, Patrick, Patrick!
Yes, yes, yes?
He said, he said...
Out with it, boy!
We were playing Eels and Escalators
and he was going up, and I rode the eel.
Then we ran, and Patrick said some things.
What things?
Well, he said...
Yes?
Well, he said a certain word
that you said he shouldn't say
and this particular word happens to be word number 11
in a list of 13 words that you said shouldn't be said.
Uh, right.
What was that part about the, uh... who now?
Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs!
He said that word
you said he shouldn't!
Now I'm going to let go of your lips
and when I do, I want you to calmly tell me
what youse need to tell me, understand?
Mm-hmm.
He said.
Do my ears deceive me?
You two should be ashamed!
Time to take out the trash.
You two need to be taught a lesson.
I thought I made it clear.
Never— and I mean never— use number 11
or any of the 13 bad words.
Now, the both of youse wait right here.
I'll be back.
What's going to happen to us?
We'll probably get 40 lashes.
Oh, no!
I'm sorry, Patrick.
Mr. Krabs is right.
There's no need for words like that.
I'm sorry, too, SpongeBob.
Let's make a vow, Patrick.
From this day forth
a foul word shall never pass our lips.
We will be good citizens
just like good old Mr. Krabs.
Agreed.
All right, you two foul mouths.
As punishment for fouling the air in me restaurant
with your foul words
you're going to give the Krusty Krab
a fresh coat of paint from top to bottom.
Woo! Wow! Oh!
Whoa!
My foot!
What genius
put a rock in a path!
I got a foot here!
Oh ( seal barks )!
Five, six...
Side of
and a helping of ...
Nine.
Aw,
grabbin'...
That's all 13, Patrick.
We're going to tell your mom, Mr. Krabs.
No, please!
Not my mommy!
Wait!
Please don't tell me mother!
I don't think her little old heart can take it!
Mama Krabs! Mama Krabs!
Well, hello there.
Mama Krabs, he said
and then he said again
and he said
and then he screamed
and he ( airhorn honks ) Mrs. Krabs.
He didn't care.
Such a stream of
I have never heard in my days.
Oh, dear.
My poor, old heart.
Oh, dear mother.
What have these foul-mouthed heathens
done to you?
You two should be ashamed.
Making an old lady faint with your sailor talk.
You should all be ashamed.
And if you're going to talk like sailors
then you're going to work like sailors.
I guess you scalawags have earned a glass of lemonade.
Yee-ow!
My foot!
Mother!
What?
It's old man Jenkins and his jalopy.
Howdy, Mrs. K.!
Oh, how I have dreamed
of this day...
"Mr. Tentacles, Professor of Art."
What a marvelous opportunity for the people of Bikini Bottom.
Bring me your huddled masses of bored housewives
and I will shape them in my image.
I'll go down in history.
Someday, there will be a wing with my name on it
in all the museums of the world!
Dude, you're teaching art at the rec center.
Calm down.
Uncultured trash urchin.
9:00 a.m.
Time to let the class in.
Well, don't want to keep them waiting any longer.
I'm so excited about this...
Welcome to art class!
Oh, isn't this "Cooking"?
Sorry.
Oh, never mind.
Hi, Squidward.
Are you taking this art class, too?
SpongeBob?
In art class!
Wait! This is Cooking.
Come back!
You've got to be kidding.
This is great!
You and me in school together.
So, where's the teacher?
You're looking at him.
You are the "Teacher"
to my "Pupil"?
This isn't art class.
It's heaven.
Yeah.
Grab a little piece of heaven
and let's get on with it.
I'm ready... Mr. Tentacles.
So... you want to be an artist, eh, SpongeBob?
Yes, please.
Well, art is not all fun and games.
It's a lot of hard work.
Okay, first, repeat after me.
I have no talent.
Mr. Tentacles has all the talent.
If I'm lucky, some of Mr. Tentacles' talent
may rub off on me.
If I'm lucky, Mr. Talent will rub his tentacles on my art.
Whatever.
Okay, since you're telling me you have no prior training
we'll have to start from square one
or should I say, circle one?
Am I going too fast for you, SpongeBob?
How's this, Squidward?
What the... how the...
A perfect circle?
Do it again.
Show your process.
Well, first I draw this head.
Then I erased some of the more detailed features.
And one, two, three...
a circle thingy.
Give me that.
Forget the circles!
Oh, nice one, Squidward.
Let me try.
Oh, lookey, Squidward.
It's you and me playing leapfrog.
That's you on the bottom.
Give me that.
There is nothing artistic about leapfrog.
What are you doing now?
I call it rippy bits.
You take a bunch of old, ripped-up paper
and you make a new picture.
See, you're on... top... this time.
Do you want to learn art or not?
I'm sorry— I'll listen.
All right, SpongeBob, pay close attention.
Look at your marble.
Visualize the sculpture within.
Then... gently...
How's this, Squidward?
It's beautiful.
I mean...
This isn't a sculpture!
A good sculpture takes... more time.
You can't just sculpt willy-nilly.
You've got to go by the book...
follow the rules.
Otherwise you'll never get past amateur hour here.
Besides, you got the nose wrong.
There.
Now it's art.
Oh, it's so obvious.
I would have never thought of that.
I'm sorry, Squidward.
I came here to learn
and I arrogantly shunned your lessons.
I'll never be a great artist like you.
I don't deserve your tutoring.
I don't deserve to be in your presence.
I don't even deserve to use your doors.
Hello, there.
But I did deserve that.
I deserved that, too.
And I deserve this.
Good day, sir.
Sorry, class is dismissed.
You're too late.
Oh, I beg your pardon
but I'd forgotten my manners.
My name is Monty P. Moneybags.
The world-famous art collector?
The one and only.
Well, what are you doing here?
I'm on a shopping spree
buying art for my new museum.
Your search is over.
I am Bikini Bottom's greatest artiste.
I call this one Squidward in Repose.
I... don't think that will fit in
with the other pieces in my collection.
Why not?
Because it's an art collection.
How about this one?
I call it Bold and Brash.
More like... Belongs in the Trash.
Sorry, I must have missed that one.
Maybe I should be...
Huh?
What is that?
Wait, wait.
That's not...
Angelic form.
Amazing detail.
Perfect censorship.
This is the work of a true genius.
Hello.
What's this?
This is the only flaw.
Ah... that's more like it.
I simply must find the artist responsible.
He shall have fame.
Fame.
Fortune.
Anything his heart desires.
Anything?
It's me.
I'm responsible.
I can see it now... your name
in the world's most prestigious museums.
I am going to make you immortal!
Now, help me get this in the car.
I could use a little help.
My fame!
My fortune!
My hair!
Well, that's a bit of bad luck right there.
But this shouldn't be a problem
for an artist of your magnitude.
You can whip up another one.
Yeah... no problem.
You know, between you and me
this isn't my best work.
Why don't you come back tomorrow
and I'll have something
that will really knock your socks off?
Between you and me, I'm not wearing socks.
Yeah, no socks.
That's fine, but...
Okay, see you tomorrow.
Bye.
I've got to find SpongeBob!
SpongeBob.
SpongeBob!
Go away, Squidward.
I don't deserve your kindness.
Hey, cheer up.
I have decided to give you another chance.
Why, with a great teacher like me
anything is possible.
Don't look at me, Squidward.
Don't look at my shame.
These hands weren't meant to create.
They only destroy.
I can't look at them.
Oh, come on, SpongeBob.
You've got yourself a pair of yellow dandies here
and with my help
we'll turn them into tools of beauty.
Really?
Really.
Really?
Really.
Really?
Really.
Wow.
Really?
Let's go.
Squidward, look!
It's old Bold and Brash.
Give me that.
Okay, SpongeBob.
Just do what you did before.
I can't.
Wait, wait.
Let me help.
Let's start with the circle again.
I did it, Squidward.
Huh?
But what about the head
and the erasing, and the...
I don't know... that stuff's not in the book.
Uh...
How about this, huh?
Remember?
That's not in the book either.
Forget about the book!
Look at all this mess, SpongeBob.
What do all these little bits of paper
make you want to do?
Wait, I know this.
Oh, wait, I think I got it.
There you go.
Yes! Ta-dah!
Okay, SpongeBob.
Let's just move on to the marble.
First, an artist must concentrate
and visualize his concept.
Now you've got it.
I've got to embrace the marble.
Right.
I've got to sniff the marble.
Well... okay.
I've got to lick the marble.
Uh...
I've got to wash the marble.
I've got to date the marble.
I've got to be the marble.
I've got it!
I have seen the sculpture within.
Here you go, Buddy.
With this tool, I shall give birth to art.
Oh, boy.
One more thing.
There.
Now it's art.
Well, what do you think, Squidward?
Just take it all in for a moment.
Let it soak in.
It looks like the excitement of my artistic triumph
is too much for Squidward.
Oh, well, back to the dump.
I'm here for the...
What the...
Who's responsible for this?
As of now, it's his responsibility.
Good day to you, sir!
You, sir, are
the greatest artist
who ever lived!
[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and NICKELODEON]