Welcome to "SpongeBob's House Party"
with your host, Patchy the Pirate.
There'll be punch, cookies, explosions
and a brand-new episode ofSpongeBob SquarePants.
Hooray!
Now, live from Encino, California,
get ready for a warm embrace
from our party host, Patchy the Pirate.
Hey, get off my lawn!
Party?
Geez, there ain't no party here.
Go away!
Come on in.
Hush, Polly, can't you see
I'm trying to keep out the riffraff?
Riffraff?
That's our television audience, barnacle-breath.
Oh.
Of course, it is.
I was just fooling.
Welcome!
Say, you didn't bring SpongeBob with you, did you?
Gee, I sure hope he got his invitation.
I'd sure like to go to this party,
but I can't read the invitation.
Me, neither.
Whoever sent this obviously has no idea
about the physical limitations of life underwater.
Well, might as well throw these in the fire.
Ah, well, come on in.
Let me introduce you around.
This here's Minnie Mermaid.
Minnie's cooling off on account of
she's been dancing her scales off.
Isn't that right, Minnie, huh?
Take a little breakie-poo?
No, Patchy, actually I'm in here
because if I wasn't, I would die.
That's the spirit.
Let's see, who else haven't you met?
Hey!
That's Longbeard, the Pirate.
Hey there, Longbeard, long time no see.
Who dares to interrupt Neptune?
Sorry about that, Neppy.
That's Neptune.
He's king of the sea.
You kids having fun?
Hosting a party is hard work, boy.
That reminds me of the time when SpongeBob was hosting a party.
Hey, you kids want to see that cartoon?
You do?
Well, then, launch the cartoon.
Ah, the Barg'n Mart— a consumer's paradise
of brand-like items stocked as far as the eye can see.
Boom!
19 seconds!
That's a new record, Lou.
Uh, that's great, SpongeBob.
$1.42.
But it's not an official record
until we record it in the Book of Records.
"19 seconds."
Okay. So it's $1.42.
Sign here, please.
Initial here.
And here.
And... here.
Oh, look, it's a picture I took of you
the first time I ever came here.
Look at you, so young and happy.
Where do the years go?
Hey, what's that?
"Plan Your Own Party Kit."
Hey, Lou, how much?
For the Plan Your Own Party Kit?
Oh, we're having a special on those.
Uh, they're free.
But you have to leave... right now.
Let's see, Gary.
According to the Plan Your Own Party Kit,
invitations are the first order of business.
"A short guest list
"consisting of only your closest acquaintances
"will set an intimate tone for the evening
and provide soirée success."
You heard the man, Gary: only our closest friends.
Who the barnacles is SpongeBob SquarePants?
I believe you went to kindergarten with him, dear.
Kindergarten, huh?
Oh, yeah, SquarePants.
Well, I guess it's time to move again.
Gary, this Plan Your Own Party Kit is a real lifesaver.
How else would I have known
to make freshly whipped clotted cream?
Gary, you better call an astronomer,
because this clotted cream is out of this world!
My piñata.
Ooh, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot.
The Plan Your Own Party Kit encourages creativity
when stuffing your piñata.
That's why I'm using deviled eggs.
Good question, Gary, but not to worry.
The Plan Your Own Party Kit warns that unsupervised parties
can lead to disaster.
That's why I've taken the liberty of devising a schedule—
8:00 to 8:05, guests arrive;
8:05 to 8:15, opening remarks and general discussion;
8:15 to 8:27, craft corner,
followed by name tag distribution.
At 8:27 we begin the qualifying rounds
for our cracker-eating/ tongue-twister contest.
9:07, running charades;
9:38, charity apple-bob;
9:57, electric jitterbug dance marathon—
ladies' choice.
At 10:09, things start cooking
as I dip into my world famous knock-knock joke vault.
And as long as we stick
to this schedule,
our party is a guaranteed success.
This is going to be the coolest party ever!
Ha-ha!
Looks like it's smooth party sailing for SpongeBob so far.
Now it's time for me to get me own party underway.
Gather round, you scurvy landlubbers.
It's time to learn the Peg-legged Dance of Happiness.
Whoa!
It's quite simple really.
All you need is a peg leg and some patience,
and my instructional video series, only $29.95.
How tacky!
It's a $40 value, Polly, a $40 value!
Now, it's very easy and loads of fun.
Hey, everybody, the band's here.
Band? What band?
The band I hired for the party.
A jolly idea, Polly!
A little live music'll get me shindig dug.
Who'd you get, Barnacle Bill and the Seven Seas?
No.
Seaweed Sally
and her turtle?
No.
Oh, oh, I know— The First Mates.
No.
Salt Water Sam,
featuring the Brine Brothers.
No.
Rusty Hinges
and the Boys from the Brig?
They broke up years ago.
Well, who else is there?
The Bird Brains.
The Bird Brains— they're better than those other bands.
But they're just a bunch of birds.
Hello, Encino!
Oh, Polly, that's the worst sea chantey I've every heard.
I certainly hope it doesn't get any louder.
Ooh.
No, no!
No!
Stop the music!
Stop!
Look, boys, I know you fellas sound real good
around the birdbath, but this here is basic cable.
This is the big time.
I'm afraid it's time for you to walk the plank.
You mean we're fired?
No.
Go on, start jumping
or you're going to be dealing
with the business end of me sword.
No! I forgot that you're birds.
While Patchy pulls himself together,
let's see how SpongeBob's party is shaping up.
Okay, Gary, get ready, it's almost 8:00.
Here they come.
Don't worry too much, Gary, it's only ten seconds past 8:00.
Now it's 20 seconds past 8:00.
Maybe nobody got their invitations.
30 seconds past 8:00.
Oh, I'm doomed.
No one's coming.
I'm the worst host ever.
Oh, the first guest, and only 40 seconds late.
Hi, SpongeBob.
Welcome, Patrick.
May I compliment you on being fashionably late?
Can I get you a glass of punch?
Sure.
Did you have any trouble finding the place?
Here you are.
Thanks.
So is the punch okay?
Not bad, not bad.
Mmm, nice weather we're having.
It's been very mild, yes.
Yep.
It's mild season.
So, you read any...?
Oh, more party guests.
Welcome, Mr. Krabs.
Ahoy, SpongeBob.
Please let Gary take your coat.
Then allow me to offer you some hors d'oeuvres
and a glass of punch.
Don't mind if I do.
Two down, 175 to go.
Gosh, I almost forgot.
These name tags eliminate the need for awkward introductions.
More guests.
"Kcirtap si eman ym o-77-eh."
I don't get it.
No, you dumb bunny, it says, "Hello, my name is Patrick."
Nice to meet you, Patrick.
Good one, Patrick.
Yeah.
What's going on here?
The laughter isn't scheduled until 9:03.
You want to throw a party, do it at your house, Patrick.
Was he talking to me or you?
Squidward, you made it.
My cable's out.
Oh...
Sorry to hear about that.
So, uh, how's it going, Squidward?
Not bad.
I have you making light conversation with Mr. Krabs
from 10:41 to 10:47.
But if you've got a case of the jabber-jaws,
I can pair you up right now with Scooter.
Here are some topic cards to break the ice.
Someone's at the door.
Mine says, "Which came first, the oyster or the pearl?"
You take the side of the pearl.
This is lame.
My card says, "Discuss the philosophical nature of irony."
What does yours say?
Nod politely.
What does yours say, Plankton?
Oh, uh, yes, it says:
"Discuss the secret ingredient of the Krabby Patty formula."
How interesting.
Nice try, Plankton.
Well, it's about time.
Okay, everyone, the final guest is about to arrive...
22 minutes late!
Hey, hey.
Attention, everyone!
Attention, please!
Now that we're all here, I officially declare
the party switch to be in the "on" position.
Whoopee.
Hooray... all right... okay.
As soon as I get back from the coatroom
we'll have a rundown of tonight's scheduled events.
Try not to have too much fun without me.
Seriously.
That includes you folks.
"SpongeBob's House Party"
will be right back after these messages.
Ahoy, there!
Welcome back to "SpongeBob's House Party."
Hey, Gar, got another coat for you.
The party's going great, by the way.
They're going to be talking about this one
for a long, longtime.
Well, back to "work."
Okay, everybody, let's... huh?
What's going on here?
This is all wrong.
What's happening to my party?
No, no... no, no, no!
Didn't you read the schedule?
"10:00 p.m.: Dance your pants off."
10:00 p.m.!
Let's try to stick to the schedule, shall we?
Cake will be eaten at 8:52, everyone!
8:52!
Hey, what's this?
That's my breakfast.
Could I have everyone's attention, please?
Patrick.
If everyone could take a seat
on the couch while I sort this out.
Thank you, thanks.
Hey everybody, thanks for your patience.
I know we've gotten off to a rocky start here,
so I'm going to get us back on track.
It is now 8:37, and we all know what that means.
Time to read aloud from the newspaper comics!
Oh... sounds like a... real thrill.
Let's see, I think I'll start out with "The Wisenheimers."
Okay, panel one:
we see Roxy Wisenheimer with some sort of rake.
Wait, I can't read from this!
This is yesterday's paper!
I'll just grab today's paper.
SpongeBob, you sure know how to throw a party.
What would they do without me?
Locked out?
This song's got a great beat!
Yeah— "knock, knock!"
Gee, I wonder
why they don't hear me.
Oh, no!
They're not using the topic cards.
They're... ad-libbing.
Now they're mad at Patrick.
He's hogging the deviled eggs.
Oh, look at those poor souls.
They're so bored they've gone mad!
Oh, no!
The party's falling into chaos
without my hosting talents to guide it.
So... do you come here often?
No.
Hello, SquarePants residence.
What?
I am sorry, what?
Patrick, it's me, SpongeBob.
You want to talk to SpongeBob?
Yeah... no, Patrick, I'mSpongeBob!
I'm outside.
Okay, hold on.
SpongeBob, are you out here?
Phone's for you.
Wha... I...
No, Patrick, wait!
Sorry, he's not out there.
Hey, dude, if you're looking for SpongeBob
he's over by the punchbowl.
Thanks.
Here you go, SpongeBob,
it's for you.
Phone in punchbowl?
That's not even on the schedule.
Larry, my man, you are looking good enough to eat.
Mmm-mm, oh, yeah, baby.
Could use a little teeth-whitener, though.
I'm sure SpongeBob won't mind.
Hey, check out his crazy comb.
Oh, no, sounds like someone's
rummaging through my medicine cabinet.
I hope they don't touch my special comb.
Well, I guess I've aired it out enough.
This party's finally starting to pick up.
I hope this doesn't interfere
with finger-puppet theater at 9:20.
If I don't get back inside and restore order,
there might not be time for any of the scheduled events.
Gee, SpongeBob really knows how to throw a great party.
Oh, yes.
Everything is quite lovely.
Ew!
Although I don't care for his taste in paintings.
I don't even know how that happened.
Well, I guess I have no choice.
I'm going to have to tunnel back in.
Okay, everybody, don't panic.
The host has returned.
Hop, hop, hop!
I can take losing the topic cards
and the phone in the punchbowl,
but I was supposed to lead the bunny hop.
This is a bunch of barnacles!
I'm breaking in!
Well, well.
What do we have here?
A burglar bunny.
Why do they do it, O'Malley?
I don't know.
It's probably how he gets his kicks.
You criminals make me sick.
I'm no criminal.
I live here.
I... I'm just throwing a party.
I got locked out, I swear.
Well, why didn't you say so?
What a terrible misunderstanding.
You have a nice party now, sir.
Boy, for a second there
I thought I was going to be arrested
for breaking into my own house.
What an ironic twist that would have been.
Hey, wait a second.
If you're throwing a party...
why weren't we invited?
But I... you, uh...
I didn't know you'd...
Plan Your Own Party didn't mention... the police.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Okay, motor-mouth, tell it to the judge.
Oh, no.
These cuffs are broken.
Huh.
We can't bring him in in broken cuffs.
I got an old pair in the car we can use.
Is it too late to offer you some punch?
Sir, you have the right to remain silent.
All night in a stony lonesome... in a bunny outfit.
Oh, yeah, the door's locked.
Good thing I keep a spare key under... the... mat!
Oh, look at this place.
This party was a complete disaster.
That was the greatest party
any of us have ever been to!
It was?
Oh, without a doubt,
you are the best party-thrower ever.
I am?
Yeah.
Whatever you did, you should write it down
and do it again next weekend.
Thanks again, SpongeBob.
See ya.
SquarePants,
you've done it again.
I guess I know how to throw a party.
Gary!
Well, it looks like you had a good time.
Good night, Gary.
Whew, I'm glad to see old SpongeBob's party worked out.
Now I got to get me own party going.
Polly, are you ready for some real music, huh?
Okay, ready.
It's time for your flute solo.
Thank you, Polly, I almost forgot.
Hey, wait a minute.
I don't play a flute.
I play a fife.
Polly, no!
Wow, I can't believe I survived that one.
Polly, help me!
Ladies and gentlemen, The Bird Brains!
Aha!
Great job, boys!
Thanks for stopping by.
Hey, don't let the porthole hit you on the way out.
And thank you for stopping by.
You made this party a real fun time.
The ladies are here.
Ooh.
Ladies?
Shiver me timbers.
Welcome, girlies!
Huh?
No!
Bye, folks.
It's Polly you're after!
Stop with the kissing!
And thank you for coming
to "SpongeBob's House Party."
Belay the smooching!
and NICKELODEON
Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org