1
00:00:18,582 --> 00:00:19,685
Are you ready, kids?

2
00:00:19,788 --> 00:00:21,409
Aye, aye, Captain!

3
00:00:21,513 --> 00:00:22,685
I can't hear you.

4
00:00:22,788 --> 00:00:24,685
Aye, aye, Captain!

5
00:01:00,582 --> 00:01:05,099
Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

6
00:01:05,202 --> 00:01:08,754
and NICKELODEON

7
00:01:19,306 --> 00:01:21,168
Good morning, pineapple.

8
00:01:22,478 --> 00:01:24,168
Good morning,
Gary.

9
00:01:25,409 --> 00:01:27,271
Good morning, world.

10
00:01:27,375 --> 00:01:29,754
I'm ready!

11
00:01:29,857 --> 00:01:30,995
World?

12
00:01:37,754 --> 00:01:38,892
Talk to me.

13
00:01:38,995 --> 00:01:40,513
Package, sir.

14
00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:42,720
Ah-ha!

15
00:01:42,823 --> 00:01:45,064
I can't believe
it's finally here.

16
00:01:45,168 --> 00:01:46,409
There you go.

17
00:01:46,513 --> 00:01:47,961
Oh, thank you,
thank you, thank you.

18
00:01:48,064 --> 00:01:51,306
Thank you, Mr...
Tennis Balls.

19
00:01:51,409 --> 00:01:53,237
That's "Tentacles."

20
00:01:54,651 --> 00:01:57,168
Squidward's last name
is "Tentacles"?

21
00:01:57,271 --> 00:01:58,547
Poor guy.

22
00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:04,340
Hey, check out
Squidward's new snail.

23
00:02:06,582 --> 00:02:08,444
Fancy.

24
00:02:08,547 --> 00:02:10,444
So that's what
came in the mail.

25
00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:13,168
Looks like Gary has
a new little playmate.

26
00:02:13,271 --> 00:02:15,582
Dream on,
SpongeBob.

27
00:02:15,685 --> 00:02:19,409
I wouldn't let Snellie here
play with that mongrel mutt.

28
00:02:19,513 --> 00:02:21,582
She's a purebred.

29
00:02:21,685 --> 00:02:24,651
Wow. A snail made
out of bread.

30
00:02:24,754 --> 00:02:25,926
No.

31
00:02:26,030 --> 00:02:27,961
Purebred means
she's of the highest pedigree.

32
00:02:28,064 --> 00:02:29,306
See?

33
00:02:29,409 --> 00:02:31,513
She even has
her own papers.

34
00:02:31,616 --> 00:02:33,306
So if you'll excuse us

35
00:02:33,409 --> 00:02:35,961
Snellie has to start
her training.

36
00:02:36,064 --> 00:02:37,064
Training?

37
00:02:37,168 --> 00:02:38,720
For Bikini Bottom's snail race.

38
00:02:38,823 --> 00:02:41,271
Snellie will be winning
this Sunday.

39
00:02:41,375 --> 00:02:42,788
Sunday?

40
00:02:42,892 --> 00:02:45,168
Well, I guess I can't
enter Gary in that.

41
00:02:45,271 --> 00:02:46,375
Sunday's laundry day.

42
00:02:46,478 --> 00:02:48,513
No, SpongeBob.

43
00:02:48,616 --> 00:02:51,720
You can't enter Gary
because Gary's a mutt.

44
00:02:54,306 --> 00:02:56,444
Boy, you got that right.
Gary's no...

45
00:02:56,547 --> 00:02:58,168
Hey! What makes you
so sure

46
00:02:58,271 --> 00:02:59,857
Gary couldn't
win that race?

47
00:02:59,961 --> 00:03:01,754
Papers.

48
00:03:01,857 --> 00:03:07,099
Hmm, "Property of
Squidward Pimples."

49
00:03:07,202 --> 00:03:09,754
That's Tennisball...
Uh, Tentacles!

50
00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:11,409
Come on, Snellie.

51
00:03:11,513 --> 00:03:12,375
You know what?

52
00:03:12,478 --> 00:03:14,064
I'm starting to get
the idea

53
00:03:14,168 --> 00:03:17,375
that Squidward thinks
his snail is better than mine.

54
00:03:17,478 --> 00:03:18,375
No!

55
00:03:18,478 --> 00:03:20,444
Patrick, are you thinking

56
00:03:20,547 --> 00:03:21,754
what I'm thinking?

57
00:03:21,857 --> 00:03:23,857
Yeah, I should
get a snail

58
00:03:23,961 --> 00:03:27,547
and enter it
in that race and
beat Squidward.

59
00:03:27,651 --> 00:03:29,720
Are youthinking
what I'm thinking?

60
00:03:32,409 --> 00:03:33,582
No, no, no!

61
00:03:33,685 --> 00:03:36,030
I'm thinking about entering
you in that race

62
00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:37,651
and beating Squidward's snail!

63
00:03:37,754 --> 00:03:39,409
Looks like we're going

64
00:03:39,513 --> 00:03:41,788
to start our training now,
ladies.

65
00:03:43,133 --> 00:03:45,444
I call you a lady
to humiliate and demean you.

66
00:03:45,547 --> 00:03:47,340
It's a motivational tool
we coaches use.

67
00:03:47,444 --> 00:03:50,720
Hmm, I don't know why

68
00:03:50,823 --> 00:03:54,513
but I think I'll kick
SpongeBob's butt tomorrow.

69
00:03:55,547 --> 00:03:58,340
Kelp powder for muscle mass

70
00:03:58,444 --> 00:04:01,340
raw eggs 'cause they're cliche

71
00:04:01,444 --> 00:04:03,409
and nails for toughness.

72
00:04:05,754 --> 00:04:08,754
Of course I expect you
to eat this.

73
00:04:08,857 --> 00:04:11,754
It's scientifically designed
to help you win tomorrow.

74
00:04:11,857 --> 00:04:13,202
Gary?

75
00:04:14,340 --> 00:04:16,651
Wow, pretty good time.

76
00:04:16,754 --> 00:04:19,340
Hey, SpongeBob,
check out my new snail.

77
00:04:19,444 --> 00:04:21,513
Patrick, your snail
is a rock.

78
00:04:21,616 --> 00:04:23,513
Yeah, thanks. I know.

79
00:04:23,616 --> 00:04:26,168
He's got nerves
of steel.

80
00:04:26,271 --> 00:04:27,409
See you at the big race!

81
00:04:27,513 --> 00:04:29,202
Boy, the competition's
getting tough.

82
00:04:29,306 --> 00:04:30,926
That's it, Gary.

83
00:04:31,030 --> 00:04:33,995
We are going to start
some serious training right now.

84
00:04:38,788 --> 00:04:41,685
All right, Gary,
let's start with some sprints.

85
00:04:41,788 --> 00:04:44,306
On your mark, set, go!

86
00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:45,547
Go, Gary, go, come on!

87
00:04:45,651 --> 00:04:48,202
Go, Gary!
It's all yours, Gary!

88
00:04:49,478 --> 00:04:50,788
Gary?

89
00:04:50,892 --> 00:04:54,133
Come on, Gary,
the big race is tomorrow.

90
00:04:54,237 --> 00:04:57,892
You got to start training
if you want to win.

91
00:04:57,995 --> 00:05:00,030
Don't waste your breath,
SpongeBob.

92
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:03,823
That mongrel of yours
doesn't have a chance
against Snellie.

93
00:05:03,926 --> 00:05:04,754
Excuse me

94
00:05:04,857 --> 00:05:07,513
but you two seem
to be forgetting

95
00:05:07,616 --> 00:05:10,616
who the real winner will be—
my snail.

96
00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:12,478
Patrick, that's a rock.

97
00:05:12,582 --> 00:05:14,340
Yeah, thanks. I know.

98
00:05:14,444 --> 00:05:16,478
He's got nerves
of steel.

99
00:05:16,582 --> 00:05:18,099
Hey, what are you
standing on, anyway?

100
00:05:19,064 --> 00:05:19,961
Like I said

101
00:05:20,064 --> 00:05:22,616
don't even bother
showing up tomorrow.

102
00:05:24,306 --> 00:05:28,340
My snail's really got Squidward
scared, huh, SpongeBob?

103
00:05:28,444 --> 00:05:29,582
Sorry, Patrick.

104
00:05:29,685 --> 00:05:31,478
Gary and I've got
some serious work to do.

105
00:05:31,582 --> 00:05:34,995
You can run, but you can't hide,
Squarepants!

106
00:05:35,099 --> 00:05:37,478
All right, Gary,
no more fooling around.

107
00:05:37,582 --> 00:05:39,237
Time to get serious.

108
00:05:40,478 --> 00:05:42,064
Come on, Gary, move it!

109
00:05:42,168 --> 00:05:44,409
Up, up, up, up!
Down, down, down, down!

110
00:05:44,513 --> 00:05:46,513
Faster, faster, faster!
Go, go, go!

111
00:05:46,616 --> 00:05:48,271
Come on, push it,
Gary, push it!

112
00:05:48,375 --> 00:05:49,513
Move that shell!

113
00:05:49,616 --> 00:05:51,064
Come on, Gary, move it!

114
00:05:51,168 --> 00:05:52,961
Let's go! Let's go!
Let's go! Faster!

115
00:05:53,064 --> 00:05:55,720
Let's go! Let's go!
Speed it up! Speed it up!

116
00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:57,478
Move it, Gary!
Move it, move it, move it!

117
00:05:57,582 --> 00:05:59,685
Stroke, stroke, stroke.

118
00:05:59,788 --> 00:06:01,685
Come on, Gary,
we're going to be late

119
00:06:01,788 --> 00:06:03,788
for the big race!

120
00:06:03,892 --> 00:06:05,685
Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen

121
00:06:05,788 --> 00:06:07,478
and welcome to our live coverage

122
00:06:07,582 --> 00:06:10,133
of this year's spring classic,
the 102nd Running of The Snail.

123
00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:12,685
And what a beautiful day
for this sport of kings

124
00:06:12,788 --> 00:06:14,202
of which I'm a huge fan.

125
00:06:14,306 --> 00:06:15,651
Seriously, I'm just a fan.

126
00:06:15,754 --> 00:06:17,995
I was on my way to my seat,
the door was open...

127
00:06:18,099 --> 00:06:19,547
Hey, what are
you doing?

128
00:06:21,513 --> 00:06:22,547
Sorry about that, folks.

129
00:06:22,651 --> 00:06:24,030
Let's go down to the field

130
00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:26,616
to join the mayor
for the pre-game ceremony.

131
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:32,547
And now for the lighting of the
Torch of Good Sportsmanship.

132
00:06:32,651 --> 00:06:34,064
Please join me

133
00:06:34,168 --> 00:06:38,651
in welcoming snail racing's
first-ever champion

134
00:06:38,754 --> 00:06:40,754
Lightning Larry Luciano!

135
00:06:42,754 --> 00:06:45,616
Would you look at that, folks?

136
00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:48,582
Lightning Larry Luciano,
a living legend

137
00:06:48,685 --> 00:06:51,651
slowly making his way
center stage.

138
00:06:51,754 --> 00:06:56,030
And what a proud moment
for this sport.

139
00:06:56,133 --> 00:07:00,064
The crowd is going
absolutely nuts...

140
00:07:00,168 --> 00:07:01,685
for Larry.

141
00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:04,202
He's almost there.

142
00:07:06,202 --> 00:07:07,651
Uh, yes, siree.

143
00:07:07,754 --> 00:07:10,720
Any minute now.

144
00:07:12,340 --> 00:07:15,375
He's almost a quarter
of the way there.

145
00:07:23,685 --> 00:07:24,720
The torch is lit!

146
00:07:24,823 --> 00:07:25,720
Let the race begin.

147
00:07:28,099 --> 00:07:29,857
Well, SpongeBob,
I must admit

148
00:07:29,961 --> 00:07:32,651
I didn't think
that mongrel mutt of yours

149
00:07:32,754 --> 00:07:34,754
would even find
the starting line.

150
00:07:34,857 --> 00:07:36,306
Congratulations.

151
00:07:38,202 --> 00:07:40,168
Save it for the loser's circle,
Squidward.

152
00:07:40,271 --> 00:07:42,857
Gary happens to be
in the best shape of his life.

153
00:07:46,754 --> 00:07:48,685
I'll alert
the paramedics.

154
00:07:48,788 --> 00:07:50,857
Good one, Squidward.

155
00:07:50,961 --> 00:07:52,168
You guys ready?

156
00:07:52,271 --> 00:07:53,099
Uh! A burglar!

157
00:07:53,202 --> 00:07:55,478
No, Patrick,
that's the official.

158
00:07:55,582 --> 00:07:57,340
We're ready to start
here, folks.

159
00:07:57,444 --> 00:07:59,340
Okay, Snellie,
let's show these

160
00:07:59,444 --> 00:08:01,133
common, garden-variety snails

161
00:08:01,237 --> 00:08:03,720
what superior breeding
is all about.

162
00:08:04,995 --> 00:08:06,547
All right, Gary,
listen up.

163
00:08:06,651 --> 00:08:08,616
The competition is
going to be fierce.

164
00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:09,823
You're the undersnail.

165
00:08:09,926 --> 00:08:11,823
Everybody's already
counting you out.

166
00:08:11,926 --> 00:08:13,202
Now get out there
and win

167
00:08:13,306 --> 00:08:15,685
so we can rub Squidward's
big, fat nose in it.

168
00:08:17,099 --> 00:08:19,306
This is what you've been
training for, Rocky.

169
00:08:19,409 --> 00:08:20,926
This is why we're here.

170
00:08:21,030 --> 00:08:23,306
On your mark, get set

171
00:08:23,409 --> 00:08:24,375
slither!

172
00:08:24,478 --> 00:08:26,409
And they're off!

173
00:08:26,513 --> 00:08:29,064
Number six, Snellie, rockets out
of the starting blocks

174
00:08:29,168 --> 00:08:31,513
leaving the other two
competitors in the dust!

175
00:08:31,616 --> 00:08:32,616
What?

176
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:34,064
Go, Snellie,
you got it, baby!

177
00:08:34,168 --> 00:08:37,168
What are you doing, Gary?
The race has started!

178
00:08:37,271 --> 00:08:39,788
You let Snellie
take the lead!

179
00:08:40,926 --> 00:08:43,030
Let's go, Gary!
Start moving!

180
00:08:43,133 --> 00:08:46,547
You're blowing everything
we trained for!

181
00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:47,961
Blowing it!

182
00:08:48,064 --> 00:08:50,754
It's okay, Rocky.
You go when you feel like it.

183
00:08:50,857 --> 00:08:53,788
Gary, are you listening to me?

184
00:08:53,892 --> 00:08:56,444
Get the anchors out
of your pants right now!

185
00:08:56,547 --> 00:08:57,892
Don't give me
that look!

186
00:08:57,995 --> 00:09:02,202
I said now, mister!
Get going, Gary!

187
00:09:02,306 --> 00:09:03,995
Go, go, go, go!

188
00:09:04,099 --> 00:09:07,375
And there goes number seven
out of the starting gate.

189
00:09:07,478 --> 00:09:08,547
Hang on, folks.

190
00:09:08,651 --> 00:09:11,961
He doesn't look so good.

191
00:09:12,064 --> 00:09:15,582
Not good enough, Gary!
Not good enough! Faster!

192
00:09:19,030 --> 00:09:21,099
I do not like the look of this.

193
00:09:21,202 --> 00:09:23,788
Come on, Gary, it's a race!
A race!

194
00:09:23,892 --> 00:09:26,099
Have you heard of 'em?

195
00:09:26,202 --> 00:09:28,961
That coach is pushing that snail
too hard.

196
00:09:29,064 --> 00:09:31,857
Faster, Gary! Faster, faster,
faster, faster!

197
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:35,133
Huh?

198
00:09:35,237 --> 00:09:37,168
Oh! Looks like number seven
has a blowout.

199
00:09:40,892 --> 00:09:42,582
Oop, make that two, folks.

200
00:09:45,409 --> 00:09:46,099
Uh, Gary?

201
00:09:49,616 --> 00:09:52,306
Plus a blown head gasket!

202
00:09:52,409 --> 00:09:54,720
Oh, and the poor creature's
still going for it.

203
00:09:54,823 --> 00:09:57,754
Um, Gary, you can stop now.

204
00:09:57,857 --> 00:09:59,754
And he's losing control!

205
00:10:06,616 --> 00:10:09,651
You can take a breath now
if you want to, Gary!

206
00:10:09,754 --> 00:10:11,685
He's spinning out of control!

207
00:10:11,788 --> 00:10:14,513
He's heading straight
for the wall!

208
00:10:22,892 --> 00:10:24,926
No!

209
00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:30,616
Hold on, Gary,
I'm coming!

210
00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:32,168
Whoa-oa.

211
00:10:32,271 --> 00:10:35,202
One of the coaches seems
to have raced onto the track.

212
00:10:35,306 --> 00:10:37,582
That is an automatic
disqualification.

213
00:10:37,685 --> 00:10:40,478
Looks like number six
has this race all wrapped up,

214
00:10:40,582 --> 00:10:41,788
ladies and gentlemen.

215
00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:44,961
Come on, Snellie,
it's all you, baby!

216
00:10:45,064 --> 00:10:46,513
Oh, Gary, I'm sorry.

217
00:10:46,616 --> 00:10:49,857
Why didn't you just say
I was pushing it too hard?

218
00:10:51,271 --> 00:10:52,444
You did?

219
00:10:52,547 --> 00:10:54,720
Oh, Gary, why didn't you tell me
I wasn't listening?

220
00:10:56,133 --> 00:10:56,857
You did?

221
00:10:56,961 --> 00:11:01,133
Oh, Gary!
Oh, Gary!

222
00:11:02,444 --> 00:11:03,857
What?

223
00:11:05,823 --> 00:11:07,513
Gary?

224
00:11:11,306 --> 00:11:12,961
Oh...

225
00:11:13,064 --> 00:11:15,478
Aw...

226
00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:18,168
My, oh, my.

227
00:11:18,271 --> 00:11:22,133
Folks, I have never seen
anything quite like this.

228
00:11:22,237 --> 00:11:26,375
It seems Snellie, the leader,
just went back to comfort Gary.

229
00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:30,099
Looks like you and I are
in-laws, eh, Squidward?

230
00:11:30,202 --> 00:11:31,857
But that's impossible.

231
00:11:31,961 --> 00:11:33,823
If Snellie didn't win, then...

232
00:11:33,926 --> 00:11:36,857
And the winner is Rocky!

233
00:11:43,892 --> 00:11:45,720
I can't believe it.

234
00:11:45,823 --> 00:11:48,961
My purebred—
which cost me $1,700—

235
00:11:49,064 --> 00:11:50,995
lost to a rock.

236
00:11:51,099 --> 00:11:52,788
Don't worry, Squidward.

237
00:11:52,892 --> 00:11:54,926
I know how much
you wanted to win

238
00:11:55,030 --> 00:11:57,651
so I had the trophy
engraved to you.

239
00:11:57,754 --> 00:11:58,857
Gosh, Patrick, thanks.

240
00:11:58,961 --> 00:12:01,892
"The 1st Place
Snail Racing Cup

241
00:12:01,995 --> 00:12:05,513
Presented to
Squidward Tortellini?"

242
00:12:05,616 --> 00:12:08,651
Will I ever win?

243
00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:14,306
That's for yesterday,
Squarepants!

244
00:12:26,133 --> 00:12:28,995
D.J.:
You've got it tuned to KOLD—

245
00:12:29,099 --> 00:12:30,720
K-OLD, the all oldies station.

246
00:12:30,823 --> 00:12:32,030
Here's a little something

247
00:12:32,133 --> 00:12:35,651
you may remember
from the good old days.

248
00:13:04,168 --> 00:13:06,823
Good morning, Daddy.

249
00:13:06,926 --> 00:13:08,133
I made you breakfast.

250
00:13:08,237 --> 00:13:10,582
Thank you, sweet pea.

251
00:13:10,685 --> 00:13:13,306
I see you got creative
with the bran today.

252
00:13:13,409 --> 00:13:17,306
Open up. It's time
for the pill.

253
00:13:17,409 --> 00:13:18,340
Oh, Barnacles.

254
00:13:18,444 --> 00:13:20,547
I hate the pill.

255
00:13:23,995 --> 00:13:25,099
Ooh...

256
00:13:25,202 --> 00:13:28,720
Pearl... do you think
I'm... old?

257
00:13:28,823 --> 00:13:30,754
Well, of course I do!

258
00:13:30,857 --> 00:13:31,961
But that's okay.

259
00:13:32,064 --> 00:13:34,202
Daddies are supposed
to be old.

260
00:13:34,306 --> 00:13:36,995
But I'm still cool, right?

261
00:13:37,099 --> 00:13:39,064
Your old man is cool?

262
00:13:39,168 --> 00:13:42,064
See, no one
says "cool" anymore.

263
00:13:42,168 --> 00:13:43,892
That's such
an old-person thing.

264
00:13:43,995 --> 00:13:46,547
Now we say "coral," as in

265
00:13:46,651 --> 00:13:49,409
"That nose job is so coral."

266
00:13:49,513 --> 00:13:50,961
"Coral," eh?

267
00:13:51,064 --> 00:13:55,444
Ew. When you say it,
it sounds so uncoral.

268
00:13:55,547 --> 00:13:58,306
What if I said it
with a different inflection?

269
00:13:58,409 --> 00:14:00,375
Co- ral.

270
00:14:00,478 --> 00:14:03,444
Don't you have to go
to work or something, Dad?

271
00:14:03,547 --> 00:14:05,168
Whoo! You're right.

272
00:14:05,271 --> 00:14:08,099
Have a coral day, honey.

273
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:11,237
Jenny, it's Pearl.

274
00:14:11,340 --> 00:14:14,271
Coral is definitely out.

275
00:14:14,375 --> 00:14:18,064
Ha! Old?

276
00:14:18,168 --> 00:14:19,961
What was I thinking?

277
00:14:20,064 --> 00:14:22,064
I ain't old. Huh?

278
00:14:22,168 --> 00:14:23,202
Don't worry, Pops.

279
00:14:23,306 --> 00:14:24,720
We're almost across
the street.

280
00:14:24,823 --> 00:14:26,168
Hey, get away from me.

281
00:14:26,271 --> 00:14:29,271
I don't need no
snot-nosed little...

282
00:14:29,375 --> 00:14:31,409
sorry you had
to see that.

283
00:14:34,168 --> 00:14:37,961
Come on. Move it!

284
00:14:38,064 --> 00:14:40,892
Could you be
any slower?

285
00:14:40,995 --> 00:14:43,064
And you've had
your blinker on

286
00:14:43,168 --> 00:14:46,202
for the last
five blocks.

287
00:14:51,271 --> 00:14:52,685
Hey, Mister, could you

288
00:14:52,788 --> 00:14:54,237
throw the ball
back over here?

289
00:14:54,340 --> 00:14:57,202
Hey, how's about
I join you kids?

290
00:14:58,547 --> 00:15:00,064
Uh... that's okay.

291
00:15:00,168 --> 00:15:01,547
You can keep it.

292
00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:04,133
Why do old people always
have to ruin the fun?

293
00:15:09,926 --> 00:15:11,788
Hey! No cutting!

294
00:15:11,892 --> 00:15:15,237
You got to wait your
turn like everybody else.

295
00:15:16,202 --> 00:15:19,444
No... no!
I ain't old like you!

296
00:15:19,547 --> 00:15:20,995
I ain't old!

297
00:15:21,099 --> 00:15:23,823
I ain't old!

298
00:15:23,926 --> 00:15:25,961
What's his problem?

299
00:15:26,064 --> 00:15:28,651
Next.

300
00:15:30,237 --> 00:15:32,754
Mommy, my Krabby patty
tastes funny.

301
00:15:32,857 --> 00:15:34,444
Well, no wonder.

302
00:15:34,547 --> 00:15:36,306
It's all old
and dried out...

303
00:15:36,409 --> 00:15:38,202
like that man right there.

304
00:15:39,237 --> 00:15:41,099
Now, put that thing
where it belongs—

305
00:15:41,202 --> 00:15:42,340
in the garbage.

306
00:15:46,375 --> 00:15:50,168
Well, little patty,
we're two of a kind.

307
00:15:50,271 --> 00:15:53,926
We've both lost our luster.

308
00:15:54,030 --> 00:15:56,030
Hmm. So that's
what I taste like.

309
00:15:56,133 --> 00:15:57,961
Good morning, Krusty Crew.

310
00:15:58,064 --> 00:16:02,582
Hi, Patrick! You all ready
for the big night out tonight?

311
00:16:02,685 --> 00:16:04,168
Yeah, it's gonna rock!

312
00:16:04,271 --> 00:16:06,306
Are you ready to go crazy?

313
00:16:06,409 --> 00:16:08,168
I'm already hearing voices!

314
00:16:08,271 --> 00:16:09,857
Are you ready to...

315
00:16:09,961 --> 00:16:13,237
SpongeBob! Patrick!
Do you mind?

316
00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:16,547
Let's continue
this conversation
in private, Patrick.

317
00:16:16,651 --> 00:16:19,857
I think some people
are eavesdropping!

318
00:16:19,961 --> 00:16:22,133
Well, how rude
of some people!

319
00:16:22,237 --> 00:16:25,168
Mmm. Those youngsters
are going out

320
00:16:25,271 --> 00:16:27,375
for a big night on the town.

321
00:16:27,478 --> 00:16:31,030
Whoo! I've been looking
forward to this night all week.

322
00:16:31,133 --> 00:16:32,271
Party!

323
00:16:32,375 --> 00:16:34,271
What do you think
we should do first?

324
00:16:34,375 --> 00:16:36,271
What shouldn't
we do first?

325
00:16:36,375 --> 00:16:38,099
We're young...

326
00:16:38,202 --> 00:16:39,961
we've got wheels...

327
00:16:40,064 --> 00:16:41,340
the world is our oyster!

328
00:16:41,444 --> 00:16:44,064
SpongeBob, you got something
on your shoulder.

329
00:16:44,168 --> 00:16:46,892
Hey, boys.
Hanging out?

330
00:16:46,995 --> 00:16:47,823
Yes.

331
00:16:47,926 --> 00:16:49,202
I couldn't help

332
00:16:49,306 --> 00:16:52,478
overhearing your big plans,
and I was wondering

333
00:16:52,582 --> 00:16:56,237
if you had room for one more
crazy dude tonight, huh?

334
00:16:56,340 --> 00:17:00,030
Of course. Did you want
to come with us, Mr. Krabs?

335
00:17:00,133 --> 00:17:02,099
Oh... hadn't even
crossed me mind.

336
00:17:02,202 --> 00:17:03,340
But sure! I'll go!

337
00:17:03,444 --> 00:17:05,306
I don't know, SpongeBob.

338
00:17:05,409 --> 00:17:07,547
He might cramp our style.

339
00:17:07,651 --> 00:17:08,926
Style!

340
00:17:09,030 --> 00:17:10,478
Let's see if he knows

341
00:17:10,582 --> 00:17:12,995
the secret
cool-guy handshake.

342
00:17:13,099 --> 00:17:14,099
Uh... yeah!

343
00:17:14,202 --> 00:17:15,202
'Course I know it.

344
00:17:15,306 --> 00:17:16,788
Uh...

345
00:17:17,788 --> 00:17:19,202
Uh...

346
00:17:19,306 --> 00:17:22,271
I'm waiting... old man.

347
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,720
Uh... how do you do?

348
00:17:24,823 --> 00:17:27,168
Fine, and you?
All right, you're in.

349
00:17:27,271 --> 00:17:28,616
But I'm not happy
about it.

350
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:30,961
You passed the test,
Mr. Krabs!

351
00:17:31,064 --> 00:17:35,064
Great! Why don't you boys
show up at my house at 8:00.

352
00:17:35,168 --> 00:17:37,306
I just want to warn you,
Mr. Krabs

353
00:17:37,409 --> 00:17:38,513
we're always
fashionably late.

354
00:17:42,375 --> 00:17:44,513
Hey, there, Mr. Krabs.

355
00:17:44,616 --> 00:17:46,306
Are you ready to party!

356
00:17:46,409 --> 00:17:48,237
Oh, I'm ready
to party!

357
00:17:48,340 --> 00:17:49,306
Are you ready
to party?

358
00:17:49,409 --> 00:17:50,478
I'm ready to party!

359
00:17:50,582 --> 00:17:52,271
Are you ready to party,
SpongeBob?

360
00:17:52,375 --> 00:17:53,478
I'm ready to party!

361
00:17:53,582 --> 00:17:55,306
Are you ready to party,
Mr. Krabs?

362
00:17:55,409 --> 00:17:56,788
I'm ready to par-tay!

363
00:17:56,892 --> 00:17:58,788
Are you ready
to par-tay, SpongeBob!

364
00:17:58,892 --> 00:17:59,926
I'm ready to par-tay!

365
00:18:00,030 --> 00:18:01,271
Are you ready to par-tay,
Patrick?

366
00:18:01,375 --> 00:18:02,478
I'm ready to party!

367
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:04,271
Are you ready to party,
Mr. Krabs?

368
00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:06,168
I'm ready to party!

369
00:18:06,271 --> 00:18:07,271
Are you ready to...

370
00:18:07,375 --> 00:18:09,306
Stop it!
Just stop it.

371
00:18:09,409 --> 00:18:12,513
You're embarrassing
me, Dad.

372
00:18:12,616 --> 00:18:16,823
So... what kind of hot rod
will we be cruisin' in tonight?

373
00:18:16,926 --> 00:18:19,651
Only the most powerful
chick-magnet in town...

374
00:18:19,754 --> 00:18:21,788
the underwater heartbreaker.

375
00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:24,547
It's more like
a chick repellent.

376
00:18:24,651 --> 00:18:26,995
And there's only
two seats.

377
00:18:27,099 --> 00:18:28,823
Calm your waters,
Mr. Krabs.

378
00:18:28,926 --> 00:18:31,788
I modified this little
baby myself.

379
00:18:33,651 --> 00:18:36,513
Are you sure this is what
the kids are driving these days?

380
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,926
Only the cool kids.

381
00:18:40,478 --> 00:18:42,444
Hey. You guys
must be lost.

382
00:18:42,547 --> 00:18:45,064
Doofus Drive
is around the corner.

383
00:18:45,168 --> 00:18:46,340
We're not lost.

384
00:18:46,444 --> 00:18:48,133
I've got my compass.

385
00:18:48,237 --> 00:18:50,892
So long, dorks!
Ha-ha!

386
00:18:50,995 --> 00:18:52,444
Good-bye, pals.

387
00:18:52,547 --> 00:18:55,547
We used to beat people up
for saying things like that!

388
00:18:55,651 --> 00:18:57,926
Everything's
all topsy-turvy now.

389
00:18:58,030 --> 00:19:00,651
Here we are...

390
00:19:00,754 --> 00:19:01,857
The Wash.

391
00:19:01,961 --> 00:19:04,547
They sure are giving these clubs
some crazy names.

392
00:19:04,651 --> 00:19:07,375
I have to tell
you boys...

393
00:19:07,478 --> 00:19:08,685
I'm a little nervous.

394
00:19:08,788 --> 00:19:12,513
I haven't been, you know,
"on the scene"

395
00:19:12,616 --> 00:19:14,375
for quite a while now.

396
00:19:14,478 --> 00:19:16,720
Just follow our
lead, Mr. Krabs.

397
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:19,099
And above all...
keep it cool.

398
00:19:19,202 --> 00:19:20,823
Cool... Gotcha.

399
00:19:27,444 --> 00:19:30,237
Hello, gang.
SpongeBob's back.

400
00:19:30,340 --> 00:19:32,237
Let's party!

401
00:19:32,340 --> 00:19:34,271
Any port in a stor...

402
00:19:34,375 --> 00:19:35,788
Wait a minute.

403
00:19:36,995 --> 00:19:39,375
This is a Laundromat.

404
00:19:39,478 --> 00:19:41,616
Oh, yeah! Whoo!

405
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:43,892
That's what I'm
talking about.

406
00:19:43,995 --> 00:19:45,754
Oh, yeah, yeah!

407
00:19:45,857 --> 00:19:46,857
The colors!

408
00:19:46,961 --> 00:19:49,340
Whoa, yeah!

409
00:19:49,444 --> 00:19:51,788
You guys want another
rinse cycle? I'm buying.

410
00:19:51,892 --> 00:19:54,444
You know, I love staring
at delicates

411
00:19:54,547 --> 00:19:56,616
as much as the next guy, but...

412
00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:59,444
it's just that, I thought
we'd see more of the nightlife.

413
00:19:59,547 --> 00:20:00,788
Something that will give me

414
00:20:00,892 --> 00:20:04,133
that wild and crazy,
hot-blooded feeling...

415
00:20:04,237 --> 00:20:05,375
if you know what I mean.

416
00:20:05,478 --> 00:20:08,857
Oh, I know what you mean,
Mr. Krabs.

417
00:20:08,961 --> 00:20:13,271
This is only stop numero uno
on our night of debauchery!

418
00:20:13,375 --> 00:20:14,823
Debauchery!

419
00:20:14,926 --> 00:20:15,720
Debauchery!

420
00:20:18,409 --> 00:20:20,788
Debauchery? I never thought

421
00:20:20,892 --> 00:20:23,616
of picking up trash under
the highway as hot-blooded.

422
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:26,202
But if it's what the kids
are into...

423
00:20:26,306 --> 00:20:27,547
So are you feeling

424
00:20:27,651 --> 00:20:29,720
that wild and crazy
feeling, Mr. Krabs?

425
00:20:29,823 --> 00:20:31,064
Not yet.

426
00:20:31,168 --> 00:20:32,582
Don't worry, you will.

427
00:20:32,685 --> 00:20:35,306
Are you feeling it
now, Mr. Krabs?

428
00:20:35,409 --> 00:20:36,857
I'm feeling a warm spot.

429
00:20:36,961 --> 00:20:37,926
Sorry.

430
00:20:38,030 --> 00:20:39,030
Are you feeling it now

431
00:20:39,133 --> 00:20:40,064
Mr. Krabs?

432
00:20:40,168 --> 00:20:41,099
Are you feeling it?

433
00:20:41,202 --> 00:20:42,892
I'm feeling it, SpongeBob.

434
00:20:42,995 --> 00:20:45,064
Patrick, that's not a ride.

435
00:20:45,168 --> 00:20:47,823
Get off of me.

436
00:20:47,926 --> 00:20:49,685
Are you feeling it now,
Mr. Krabs?

437
00:20:49,788 --> 00:20:51,823
Are you feeling
it now, Mr. Krabs?

438
00:20:51,926 --> 00:20:55,237
Art thou feeling it now,
Mr. Krabs?

439
00:20:55,340 --> 00:20:57,547
You feeling it now,
Mr. Krabs?

440
00:20:57,651 --> 00:20:58,857
Shh!

441
00:20:58,961 --> 00:21:00,720
How about now?
Can you feel it, Mr. Krabs?

442
00:21:00,823 --> 00:21:03,306
Can you feel it,
Mr. Krabs?

443
00:21:03,409 --> 00:21:05,064
Can you feel it, Mr. Krabs?

444
00:21:05,168 --> 00:21:06,547
Can you feel it,
Mr. Krabs?

445
00:21:06,651 --> 00:21:09,754
So, you want to know
if I can feelit?

446
00:21:09,857 --> 00:21:11,133
Yeah! Yeah!

447
00:21:11,237 --> 00:21:14,513
Do you really want to know
if I can feelit?

448
00:21:14,616 --> 00:21:16,202
Yeah, yeah! Yeah, yeah!

449
00:21:16,306 --> 00:21:18,478
Because I can feelit.

450
00:21:18,582 --> 00:21:20,444
You want to know what
I'm feeling?

451
00:21:20,547 --> 00:21:21,788
Yes! Yes!

452
00:21:21,892 --> 00:21:26,064
I'm feeling like
a total barnacle-head!

453
00:21:30,271 --> 00:21:31,926
You think
this is cool?

454
00:21:32,030 --> 00:21:33,202
How about this!

455
00:21:33,306 --> 00:21:36,375
And this! Am I with it now?

456
00:21:36,478 --> 00:21:38,133
You guys wouldn't
know a good time

457
00:21:38,237 --> 00:21:39,547
if it bit you
in the aft end!

458
00:21:39,651 --> 00:21:41,099
I'm going home.

459
00:21:41,202 --> 00:21:42,340
You guys ain't cool.

460
00:21:42,444 --> 00:21:44,030
You're lame!

461
00:21:44,133 --> 00:21:46,030
Uh... lame?

462
00:21:46,133 --> 00:21:47,409
Lame!

463
00:21:47,513 --> 00:21:48,995
You're nerds! Geeks

464
00:21:49,099 --> 00:21:51,271
Creeps! And babies!

465
00:21:51,375 --> 00:21:54,616
Not babies!
Not babies!

466
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:57,616
I may be old, but even
an old bag of shells like me

467
00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:01,375
knows that you haven't suggested
one cool thing all night!

468
00:22:01,478 --> 00:22:02,788
So good night to ya!

469
00:22:02,892 --> 00:22:06,237
I guess you're going to miss
the panty raid.

470
00:22:06,340 --> 00:22:07,340
The what?

471
00:22:07,444 --> 00:22:10,444
I said... I guess you're going

472
00:22:10,547 --> 00:22:12,892
to miss the panty raid.

473
00:22:12,995 --> 00:22:18,271
Panty raid? You're talking
about girls, right?

474
00:22:18,375 --> 00:22:19,857
Girl girls?

475
00:22:19,961 --> 00:22:21,133
Yeah.

476
00:22:21,237 --> 00:22:24,306
And you're talking
about raiding their dressers

477
00:22:24,409 --> 00:22:26,030
for their underpants,
right?

478
00:22:26,133 --> 00:22:28,168
Oh, yeah.

479
00:22:28,271 --> 00:22:30,582
Well, count me in!

480
00:22:30,685 --> 00:22:33,064
If this works, I'll take
back what I said

481
00:22:33,168 --> 00:22:34,547
about you two being lame.

482
00:22:34,651 --> 00:22:36,444
Not lame!

483
00:22:36,547 --> 00:22:39,168
Now, this is more like it!

484
00:22:39,271 --> 00:22:41,685
Give us some credit, old man.

485
00:22:41,788 --> 00:22:44,237
We're panty professionals!

486
00:22:44,340 --> 00:22:47,306
We score here all the time.

487
00:22:52,478 --> 00:22:54,237
Frilly things!

488
00:22:54,340 --> 00:22:56,409
We hit the jackpot!

489
00:22:56,513 --> 00:22:58,168
Oh, yeah,
Mr. Krabs!

490
00:22:58,271 --> 00:22:59,513
Woo-hoo!

491
00:22:59,616 --> 00:23:02,237
You finally came through
for me, boys!

492
00:23:02,340 --> 00:23:03,961
I feel young again.

493
00:23:04,064 --> 00:23:05,064
Eugene?

494
00:23:05,168 --> 00:23:06,340
Mother?

495
00:23:06,444 --> 00:23:08,513
What are you doing
with my bloomers?

496
00:23:08,616 --> 00:23:10,168
Well... I, uh...

497
00:23:12,788 --> 00:23:15,133
Why didn't you tell me
this was my mother's house?

498
00:23:15,237 --> 00:23:16,582
Why didn't you ask?

499
00:23:18,030 --> 00:23:19,099
Uh... ooh.

500
00:23:19,202 --> 00:23:21,478
But it was all SpongeBob
and Patrick's idea!

501
00:23:21,582 --> 00:23:23,064
Go to your room, mister.

502
00:23:23,168 --> 00:23:25,306
You're grounded
for the rest of the night.

503
00:23:25,409 --> 00:23:27,099
Yes, Mommy.

504
00:23:29,375 --> 00:23:30,513
Don't worry, pops.

505
00:23:30,616 --> 00:23:31,478
We're almost to your room.

506
00:23:34,271 --> 00:23:37,409
Sorry, Mr. Krabs.

507
00:23:37,513 --> 00:23:39,478
Ah, that's all right, lad.

508
00:23:39,582 --> 00:23:42,444
I certainly feel younger.

509
00:23:42,547 --> 00:23:43,478
Good night, Mr. Krabs.

510
00:23:43,582 --> 00:23:45,306
Good night, SpongeBob.

511
00:23:45,409 --> 00:23:47,306
Eugene, lights out!

512
00:23:47,409 --> 00:23:48,651
Yes, Mommy.

513
00:23:52,064 --> 00:23:55,616
Captioning sponsored by THE
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514
00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:59,133
and NICKELODEON

515
00:23:59,237 --> 00:24:03,995
cess Group at WGBHaccess.wgbh.org