WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MR. KRABS?
JUST MAKING SURE THE KRABBY PATTY FORMULA IS SAFE.
PLANKTON HASN'T TRIED TO STEAL THE FORMULA IN OVER A MONTH.
HE MUST BE PLANNING SOMETHING BIG.
HELLO.
ONE OF YOU WILL HAVE TO VOLUNTEER FOR SOME EXTRA WORK.
GOODBYE.
I WAS JUST GONNA ASK IF SOMEONE COULD SPY ON PLANKTON.
SPY?
OOH!
HEY, SPONGEBOB, I CAN SEE YOU THROUGH THIS STRAW.
PATRICK, I'M GONNA BE A SPY!
YOU'RE A SPY?
I WANT TO BE A SPY, TOO!
SHH, OK, OK.
YOU CAN BE A SPY.
JUST BE QUIET.
HOORAY!
WE'RE SPY BUDDIES!
SHH.
SPY BUDDIES.
YOUR INSTRUCTIONS ARE ON THIS KRABBY PATTY, BUT REMEMBER
THE FATE OF THE KRUSTY KRAB RESTS IN YOUR HANDS, SPONGEBOB.
IN MY HANDS.
OOH.
Your mission, if you choose to accept it
is to discover what Plankton's up to.
Don't let him out of your sight.
You'll need to rustle up some spy gadgets.
If you don't accept it, you're fired.
This patty will self-destruct in 10 seconds.
GET RID OF IT.
GET RID OF IT, PATRICK.
THAT'S GONNA LEAVE A MARK.
HI, SANDY.
HEY, SPONGEBOB, PATRICK.
WHAT Y'ALL DOIN'?
DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SPYING, SANDY?
WELL, I KNOW YOU NEED A LOT OF CRAZY GADGETS, LIKE JET PACKS
AND LASER-EQUIPPED BERMUDA SHORTS WITH WALKIE-TALKIES.
10-4, good buddy.
CAMERAS THAT FIT UP YOUR NOSE, HIGH-POWERED MAGNIFYING GLASSES...
AND MY FAVORITE, THE KNOCKOUT RAY.
WOW, SANDY.
WITH THESE GADGETS, PATRICK AND I WILL BE GREAT SPIES.
I WOULDN'T TRUST YOU TWO WITH ANY OF THIS STUFF.
WHAT DO WE DO NOW, PATRICK?
WHAT'S HE DOING NOW?
NOTHING YET.
WAIT, WAIT, HE'S...
BUYING BABY CLOTHES?
WE GOT TO GET CLOSER.
EXCUSE ME.
DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING IN A SIZE NEGATIVE FIVE?
UH, SORRY, BUD.
THAT'S AS SMALL AS THEY COME.
WOW, PLANKTON HAS TO BUY BABY CLOTHES?
HOW EMBARRASSING.
SPONGEBOB TO KRABS.
COME IN, KRABS.
KRABS HERE.
GO AHEAD.
PLANKTON JUST BOUGHT SOME BABY CLOTHES.
BABY CLOTHES?
HM.
WHAT'S HE DOING NOW?
HOLD ON.
HE'S BUYING...
YEAH, YEAH?
A STAMP.
THIS IS THE MOST ELABORATE SCHEME EVER.
KEEP ON HIM, SPONGEBOB.
WE'RE RIGHT BEHIND HIM, AND HE HAS NO IDEA.
WOULD YOU STOP MAKING ALL THAT RACKET?
WHAT'S HE DOING NOW?
I CAN'T TELL.
PHEW, GOSH, IT'S HOT.
HE'S GETTING AWAY.
QUICK, PATRICK, USE THE JET PACK.
CAN DO.
PHEW.
HUH?
BOY, IT WAS LUCKY THE SIDEWALK BROKE OUR FALL.
BUT WE LOST PLANKTON.
TO THE SPY-MOBILE.
HM.
MINES, OIL SLICK, SMOKE SCREEN, SHIELD.
SELF-DESTRUCT.
THERE'S A CALL COMING THROUGH ON MY "PANTS-O-PHONE."
Krabs to Agent SpongeBob.
Come in, SpongeBob.
IT'S FOR YOU.
AGENT SPONGEBOB HERE.
Have you found out what Plankton's up to?
I'M AFRAID WE LOST HIM, MR. KRABS.
Well, find him, lad.
I'm not paying you to goof off with Patrick.
YOU'RE NOT PAYING ME AT ALL, MR. KRABS.
Exactly, so get to work!
If you'd like to make a call, please deposit 25 cents.
OK, PATRICK, WE'RE IN POSITION.
NOW, HOW DO WE GET INSIDE?
I THINK THE FRONT DOOR'S OPEN.
SPIES DON'T USE THE FRONT DOOR, PATRICK.
WE'VE GOT TO FIGURE OUT A COMPLICATED WAY TO GET INSIDE.
THIS LOOKS LIKE A JOB FOR PATRICK STAR LASER PANTS.
OOH.
GOOD WORK, PATRICK.
NOW, IT'S MY TURN.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE HOLDING THE ROPE.
I AM.
YOU NEED TO BE QUIET.
WE'RE ON A SECRET MISSION.
SECRET MISSION, EH?
DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO?
YOU WANT TO EAT AT THE CHUM BUCKET WITHOUT YOUR BOSS KNOWING.
KAREN, WE'VE GOT A CUSTOMER.
I'LL LET YOU TWO LOOK OVER THE MENU.
SPONGEBOB, I HAVE TO GO.
OH, CAN'T YOU GO LATER?
MY LASER PANTS AREN'T WORKING RIGHT.
CAN I INTEREST YOU IN A RASPBERRY ICED TEA?
NO, THANKS.
OR PERHAPS A BRAN MUFFIN?
SPONGEBOB, I HAVE TO GO NOW.
PRUNE DANISH?
WHAT THE...?
DESTROY MY LAB, WILL YOU, KRABS?
WELL, IF IT'S WAR YOU WANT, IT'S WAR YOU'LL GET!
IS IT DARK, OR HAVE I PUT OFF MY CATARACT SURGERY TOO LONG?
NO, MR. KRABS, IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH.
MERCIFUL NEPTUNE!
MAN YOUR BATTLE STATIONS.
I'M ON IT.
BRING IT ON, PLANKTON.
OH, I WILL.
WE'LL SEE IF YOU HAVE A CUSTOMER LEFT AFTER I PUMP UP THE VOLUME.
OH, BROTHER.
I HATED THE REAL VERSION OF THIS SONG.
HE'S DRIVING ME CUSTOMERS AWAY.
ALL RIGHT, PLANKTON, YOU WANT MY CUSTOMERS SO BADLY?
YOU CAN HAVE 'EM.
DO YOUR WORST, KRABS!
I HATE MY JOB.
IT'S UP TO YOU AND ME, BUDDY.
ABANDON SHIP.
POINTY-HEADED PROJECTILE ON THE PORT SIDE.
NO!
I WIN!
I ALWAYS WIN!
NOT TO RAIN ON YOUR PARADE OR ANYTHING, BUT YOU ALWAYS LOSE.
NO, SPONGEBOB, I ALWAYS WIN.
MR. KRABS?
THAT'S RIGHT.
I STOLE ME OWN FORMULA.
BUT IF YOU'RE MR. KRABS, THEN WHO'S...?
MR. KRABS IS A ROBOT!
NO, YOU IDIOT.
PLANKTON?
WHAT THE BARNACLES IS GOING ON HERE?
YOU SEE, WE HAD A BET.
PLANKTON'S BEEN TRYING FOR 20 YEARS
TO STEAL THE FORMULA, AND HE'S NEVER DONE IT.
I ALMOST HAD IT 37 TIMES, AND YOU KNOW IT.
TELL IT TO THE CLAW, SISTER.
LAST TIME HE FAILED, WE MADE A BET.
YOU CAN'T BEAT ME, PLANKTON.
I ALWAYS WIN.
YOU'VE GOT THE EASY PART.
I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU DO MYJOB.
OH, YEAH, RIGHT.
IF I WAS YOU, I COULD STEAL THE FORMULA ON ME FIRST TRY.
HAH!
THE USUAL WAGER?
YOU'RE ON.
SO, THROUGH A SERIES OF EVENTS FAR TOO ELABORATE TO GO INTO RIGHT NOW
WE FLAWLESSLY ASSUMED EACH OTHER'S LIVES
AND I BEAT PLANKTON AT HIS OWN GAME, AND DESTROYED HIS PLACE OF BUSINESS.
NOW PAY UP.
HERE YOU GO, EUGENE.
ONE DOLLAR.
NOT SO FAST.
SQUIDWARD?
THEN WHO ARE YOU?
I'M NOT...
WEARING A DISGUISE.
HM, IF HE'S SQUIDWARD, THEN YOU MUST BE... SANDY?
WHOOPS, WRONG OUTFIT.
YOU'RE ME.
THEN I MUST BE...
PATRICK!
NAH, I'M JUST KIDDING.
I REALLY AM PATRICK.
GOOD ONE, PATRICK.
THERE'S JUST ONE THING I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WHAT'S THAT, LADDIE?
THAT.
BOAT SMARTS, WITH MRS. PUFF.
THIS DRIVING SAFETY FILM IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY "COBBUTKSBSPOTRAOOBAT"
CITIZENS OF BIKINI BOTTOM UNITED TO KEEP SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS
OFF THE ROAD AND OUT OF BOATS ALL TOGETHER.
GOOD DAY, FUTURE MOTORISTS.
I'M MRS. PUFF, STATE ACCREDITED DRIVING INSTRUCTOR.
TODAY, WE'LL BE DISCUSSING THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN A DRIVER WITH BOAT SMARTS...
RIPPING GOOD DAY FOR A SPOT OF DRIVING.
AND A DRIVER WITHOUT BOAT SMARTS.
HEY, SQUIDWARD, LOOK WHAT I CAN DO WITH MY FEET!
LET'S SEE SOME EXAMPLES, SHALL WE?
TIRE PRESSURE.
BEFORE YOU CAN EVEN THINK ABOUT BOATING
THE BOATER WHO USES BOAT SMARTS ALWAYS FILLS HIS TIRES TO THE APPROPRIATE LEVEL
WHILE THIS DRIVER PAYS NO HEED TO BOAT SMARTS.
Mrs. BUCKLING UP.
AS DEMONSTRATED BY THIS DRIVER, HE HAS ENOUGH BOAT SMARTS TO USE HIS SEATBELT
AND AVOID A SERIOUS CASUALTY AS A RESULT OF A COLLISION.
NOTICE HOW HE COMES GENTLY TO A STOP SIGN.
NOW, THIS DRIVER WITH NO REGARD FOR SAFETY...
Mrs. WELL, AT LEAST HE HAD HIS SEAT BELT ON.
Mrs. ADJUSTING YOUR MIRRORS.
WHAT'S OUR BOAT SMARTS BOATER UP TO NOW?
YOU GUESSED IT.
HE'S ADJUSTING HIS MIRROR BEFORE HE BEGINS BOATING, UNLIKE THIS DEGENERATE BOATER.
AH, PERFECT.
HEY, USE YOUR MIRRORS, FOOL.
MIRRORS?
OH, THAT REMINDS ME.
I HAVEN'T ADJUSTED THIS ONE YET.
AH, CAN'T SEE.
OH!
OW.
FINALLY, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, A DRIVER WITH BOAT SMARTS
ALWAYS PAYS ATTENTION TO HIS SURROUNDINGS, AND AVOIDS DISTRACTIONS.
NOTICE HOW THIS DRIVER'S EYES ARE LOCKED FIRMLY ON THE ROAD.
AND HERE WE HAVE THE EPITOME OF A DRIVER
WHO IS CARELESSLY DISTRACTING HIMSELF FROM THE ROAD AND SAFETY.
JERK!
HI THERE!
HELP, LUNATIC DRIVER!
HOW'S IT GOING?
Mrs. SPONGEBOB, I MEAN, A BOATER WITHOUT BOAT SMARTS
SHOWS CONTEMPT FOR HIS BOATER BRETHREN AND THE LAW.
WHEE!
HI, SQUIDWARD.
HI, MRS. PUFF.
LOOKS LIKE YOU GUYS FORGOT YOUR BOAT SMARTS.
Mrs. NEVER MIND.
EXCITING MEETING, MR. KRABS?
OH, YOU BET YOU, SPONGEBOB.
LISTEN TO THIS.
INDIVIDUATION OF THE END USER WILL SUBSTANTIALLY BROADEN
THE PROBABILITY OF MULTIPLE SUBSEQUENT VISITS
GENERATING AN INVERSE NEGATIVE REVENUE MARGIN
OF 3/4 OF 1/2 OF ONE PERCENT.
MEANING, IF YOU CALL THE CUSTOMERS BY THEIR NAME
THEY KEEP COMING BACK TO SPEND MORE OF THEIR GREENBACKS
SO I WANT YOU TWO TO LEARN THE NAMES OF EVERY CUSTOMER.
I HAVE AN IMPORTANT LIFE TO LIVE, AND IT DOESN'T INCLUDE CHATTERING WITH YOU TWO NINNIES.
I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT SAY THAT, SO I DECIDED TO TURN THIS INTO A CONTEST.
THE EMPLOYEE WHO LEARNS MORE NAMES WINS THIS.
A TROPICAL GETAWAY, ON THE TRIPLE-DECKER CONHUGE CO. CRUISE LINER.
SUNBATHING, PARCHEESI, BALLROOM DANCING.
THIS IS GONNA BE SO EASY.
SPONGEBOB DOESN'T REALIZE THAT I'M THE FACE OF THE KRUSTY KRAB.
WHILE HE'S ISOLATED IN THE KITCHEN ALL DAY
I'VE BEEN OUT HERE, BUILDING A RAPPORT WITH THE CUSTOMER.
HELLO.
MAY I GET YOU ANYTHING ELSE, MISS?
SINCE WHEN DO YOU GIVE TWO SHRIMPS ABOUT CUSTOMER SERVICE
MISTER GROUCHY SQUID GUY?
HI, SALLY.
HI, SADIE.
HI, SHOOBIE.
HOW DOES SPONGEBOB KNOW ALL THESE NAMES?
RIGHT BACK AT YOU, LENNY.
HEY, SPONGEBOB, COULD YOU TAKE A LOOK AT THE CASH REGISTER?
I THINK IT'S BROKEN.
OH, SURE, SQUIDWARD.
I THINK YOU MIGHT NEED A CLOSER LOOK.
LET ME GIVE YOU A HAND.
I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING IN HERE, SQUIDWARD.
KEEP LOOKING, SPONGEBOB.
KEEP ON LOOKING.
SO, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
HI, THADDEUS.
GOODBYE, SPONGEBOB.
THAT SHOULD BUY ME ENOUGH TIME TO WIN THAT CRUISE.
GOOD DAY, YOUNG SIR.
MY NAME IS...
GUS!
HE'S RIGHT.
THIS GUY'S SO GOOD, YOU SHOULD GIVE HIM A PRIZE.
HOW IN NEPTUNE'S CREATION DO YOU KNOW ALL OF THESE NAMES, SPONGEBOB?
WELL, I SIMPLY COMPILE THE NAME OF EVERY CUSTOMER IN THIS BOOK.
THANKS, SPONGEBOB.
LET'S SEE.
HALPERT, NORMA, ISABELLE, GUS, CHAZ, PILAR, DENNIS, KIRA, IVY, MARV, MABLE, MAVIS.
AND YOUR NAME IS SUZY FISH, CORRECT?
YES, AND YOU'D ALSO BE CORRECT IN SAYING YOU RUINED MY FOOD WITH YOUR SWEAT, YOU NITWIT!
MR. KRABS, THAT'S THE LAST CUSTOMER.
DO I WIN?
UH, WELL, ACTUALLY, I WASN'T KEEPING SCORE.
BUT I'LL JUST SAY THAT YOU AND SPONGEBOB ARE NECK AND NECK
AND THAT MYSTERY GUY OVER THERE'LL BE THE TIEBREAKER.
UH, THAT'S, UH...
OH, THAT'S, I KNOW HIM.
HE'S THE TICKET TO YOUR PRIZE.
OUT OF THE WAY, LOSER.
UM, HELLO.
MY NAME IS SQUIDWARD.
UH, SO, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
WHAT'S IT TO YOU?
UM, IT'S JUST THAT I WAS GOING TO, UM, ENTER YOUR NAME IN OUR SWEEPSTAKES.
SO, WHAT SHOULD I PUT DOWN?
FIRST AND LAST NAME?
SURE.
YEAH, WHY DON'T YOU WRITE THIS ON YOUR FORM.
WHAT'S IT TO YOU!
NOW LEAVE ME ALONE.
I SEE HE WANTS TO PLAY HARD TO GET.
SO BE IT.
I HAVE WAYS OF MAKING THE LIKES OF HIM TALK.
UH, SIR, YOU FORGOT YOUR SODA.
I DIDN'T ORDER ANY SODA.
IT'S ON THE HOUSE.
WHAT THE BARNACLES ARE YOU DOING?
OH, I'M SORRY, I SLIPPED.
HERE, LET ME CLEAN THAT UP FOR YOU.
OK, THERE MUST BE A NAMETAG OR SOME FORM OF I.D. IN HERE.
I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP.
I'M OUT OF HERE.
HEY, LOOK UP IN THE SKY.
A GIANT METEOR IS HURTLING TOWARDS EARTH.
WHERE?
OH, YOU'LL SEE IT.
JUST KEEP LOOKING.
I CAN'T SEE IT.
WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD, 'CAUSE I FOUND WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR.
HEY, COME BACK HERE!
GIVE ME MY WALLET!
HOLY SEA COW!
THAT HOOLIGAN RAN A STOP SIGN.
STOP, THIEF!
YOU KNOW THAT GUY?
HARDLY.
HE STOLE MY WALLET.
WHAT?
THAT MAKES HIM A DUAL OFFENDER.
LET'S GET HIM.
FINALLY, THE MOMENT OF TRUTH.
SAY GOODBYE TO ANONYMITY, MISTER...
FREEZE, THIEF!
NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I ONLY WANT THE WALLET FOR...
WE KNOW EXACTLY WHY YOU WANT IT, WALLET SNATCHER.
THIS ISN'T AS IT SEEMS!
THAT'S WHAT YOU'LL BE SAYING IN THE SLAMMER, PUNK.
HIS DRIVER'S LICENSE.
AT LAST, AT LAST!
AND YOUR NAME IS...
MR. "WHAT ZIT TOOYA?"
WHAT KIND OF RIDICULOUS NAME IS THAT?
IT'S MY RIDICULOUS NAME.
"WHAT ZIT TOOYA."
THAT'S ENOUGH OF THAT BALLYHOO.
BUT I DIDN'T INTENTIONALLY DO ANYTHING WRONG.
TELL IT TO THE JUDGE, LAW BREAKER.
ONLY 364 DAYS AND NINE YEARS LEFT
UNTIL I EXCHANGE THIS CONCRETE TOMB FOR A MULTI-STORY OCEAN LINER CRUISE.
HEY, SQUIDWARD.
SPONGEBOB.
THE BOY AND I JUST THOUGHT WE'D STOP BY AND CHECK ON OUR CONVICT FRIEND.
CALL ME WHAT YOU MAY.
FACT OF THE MATTER IS, I FOUND OUT THE MYSTERY CUSTOMER'S NAME FIRST, SO I WIN.
I WIN, I WIN, I WIN, I WIN, I WIN.
ENJOY YOUR PRIZE.
WHOO-HOO!
TROPICAL VACATION, HERE I COME!
VACATION?
WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT VACATION?
WHAT?
IN THE BROCHURE, IT SPECIFICALLY MENTIONS AN OCEAN LINER VACATION.
OH, YOU MEAN THATBROCHURE?
WELL, THAT WAS THE PRIZE.
THE BROCHURE WAS TAKING UP TOO MUCH ROOM IN ME DRAWERS, YOU KNOW, SO IT'S YOUR PRIZE.
YOU MEAN, NO VACATION.
NOPE, JUST THE BROCHURE.
WELL, GOT TO GET BACK TO COUNTING ME LOOT.
ENJOY YOUR NEW PRIZE, SQUIDWARD.
SEE YOU ON THE OUTSIDE IN 10 YEARS, BUDDY.
OH, WELL.
AT LEAST I'LL HAVE SOME PEACE AND QUIET FOR THE NEXT 10 YEARS.
HEY, SQUIDWARD.
PARCHEESI?