DRUM SOLO!
DOOGA, DOOGA, DOOGA, DOOGA, DOOGA, DOOGA, DOOGA... DOO.
DOO-DOO, DOO, DOO-DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO.
DOO, DOO.
HEY, LOOKS LIKE YOU GUYS AND GALS ARE DONE.
IN ALL MY YEARS AS OF FRY COOKERY
I HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH A LOVELY GROUP OF PATTIES.
ESPECIALLY... YOU.
SUCH PERFECTION
FROM YOUR LITTLE LETTUCE HAIR
TO YOUR ROSY KETCHUP CHEEKS
RIGHT DOWN TO YOUR MUSTARD SMILE.
MAY I CALL YOU... PATTY?
SPONGEBOB, I NEED THAT ORDER OF SIX.
HERE YOU GO, SQUIDWARD.
ONE, AND TWO, AND THREE
AND FOUR, AND, UH...
FIVE AND SIX.
THAT'S IT, THAT'S THE WHOLE ORDER, SQUIDWARD.
THERE ISN'T A KRABBY PATTY BEHIND MY BACK OR ANYTHING.
UH... YEAH.
OH, PATTY, A PATTY LIKE YOU COMES AROUND ONCE IN A LIFETIME.
I CAN'T LET THEM EAT YOU.
NO, THE JOB MUST COME FIRST.
I CAN'T LET EMOTIONS CLOUD MY COMMITMENT
TO THE SACRED FRY COOK OATH.
"THAT WHICH IS FRIED, MUST BE EATEN."
SPONGEBOB, WHERE IS THAT OTHER...
OH, THERE IT IS.
OHH!
WHERE'S MY KRABBY PATTY?
RIGHT HERE, MUSCLE BOY.
IT'S ABOUT TIME.
I WON'T LET YOU DO THIS TO PATTY.
SPONGEBOB, HAND OVER THE KRABBY...
OH, PATTY, I CAN'T LET THEM EAT YOU.
YOUR BEAUTY MUST BE PRESERVED.
AMAZING.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH IT, TAKE IT HOME?
PUT A LITTLE DRESS ON HER?
GO OUT FOR A ROMANTIC WALK WITH IT?
GREAT IDEA.
I WONDER IF IT'S TOO LATE TO GET A REFUND FROM MY THERAPIST.
ENJOY, SIR.
CAN I EAT THIS ONE?
WHAT...
HEY, HOW'D THEY KNOW?
I LOVE GRILLED SHOE.
WHAT'S COOKING THERE, PATTY?
OH, ARE YOU KIDDING?
I LOVE CREPES.
OH, PATTY...
WHEN WE'RE TOGETHER
I FEEL LIKE WE'RE IN OUR OWN LITTLE WORLD.
LIKE... [SMALL EXPLOSION]
LIKE NOTHING CAN HURT US.
FIRE!
FIRE, FIRE.
IT'S OK, PATTY, THE FIRE'S GONE.
YOU'RE SAFE NOW.
OH, I BETTER, UH... GET THE DOORBELL.
SPONGEBOB..
HOW ABOUT ANOTHER GAME OF...
TIE YOUR BEST BUDDY IN KNOTS.
MY TURN.
SORRY, PATRICK...
I ALREADY MADE PLANS TO GO FOR A WALK THROUGH JELLYFISH FIELDS
WITH PATTY.
AS SOON AS THE LITTLE LADY DRIES HER HAIR, WE'RE HEADING OUT.
HI-YAH!
HEY, YA, SPONGEBOB.
YOU DIDN'T FORGET ABOUT OUR PLAN TO GO A-CHOPPIN', DID YA?
SORRY, SANDY.
NO TIME FOR KARATE TODAY.
AFTER OUR WALK, I'M GOING FOR A ROWBOAT RIDE WITH PATTY.
JUST WAITING FOR HER TO PUT ON HER MAKEUP.
YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TAKES A KRABBY PATTY TO GET READY.
WELL, THAT MAKES ABOUT AS MUCH SENSE AS A SNAKE WITH NO SLITHER.
PATTIES ARE PUT IN THE WATER FOR EATIN', SPONGEBOB.
NOT FOR BEBOPPIN' ALL OVER TIMBUKTU.
PATTY.
YEAH, WELL, YOU TWO HAVE FUN WITH THAT.
PATTY AND I HAVE TO BE ON OUR WAY.
I'VE BEEN REPLACED
BY A SANDWICH!
MAYBE I COULD MEET A LOVELY SANDWICH OF MY OWN.
YEAH, THAT'LL SHOW SPONGEBOB.
HEY.
LET GO OF HER, YOU PATTY-EATERS.
NO, GET AWAY!
I'M COMING FOR YOU.
OH, NO.
LOOK AT YOU.
DON'T WORRY, PATTY.
I'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS.
THERE YOU GO.
OH, PATTY.
DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THIS SIGNIFIES?
MMM-HMM, THAT'S RIGHT.
IT'S OUR SIX-HOUR ANNIVERSARY.
AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, PATTY?
YOU DON'T SEEM SO HOT.
DON'T FRET.
I KNOW WHAT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.
A DINNER AT THE FINEST RESTAURANT IN BIKINI BOTTOM.
Mr. SQUIDWARD!
WHERE THE BARNACLES IS OUR FRY COOK?
HE'S BEEN GONE ALL DAY.
THAT BOY'S NEVER BEEN A WORK SHIRKER.
WE GOT A CROWD OF HUNGRY CUSTOMERS WAITING.
HOW SHOULD I KNOW?
DO I LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT'S KEEPER?
WELL... ACTUALLY...
WELL, GOOD DAY, SIRS.
AS IF ON CUE.
SPONGEBOB, WHAT'S WITH THE FANCY GETUP?
OH, I JUST GOT GUSSIED UP FOR MY SPECIAL DINNER DATE.
A DINNER DATE?
WELL, BLOW ME DOWN, BOY.
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD IT IN YOU.
SO WHEN DO WE GET TO MEET THE LITTLE LADY?
BY THE WAY, IS SHE RICH?
SHE'S RICH IN TASTE.
HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY DATE ANYONE?
I MEAN, LOOK AT YOU.
SHE MUST BE BLIND.
Mr. OOH, A LIMOUSINE.
OH, THERE SHE IS.
OH, I CAN JUST SMELL THE MONEY ALREADY.
HERE WE ARE, DARLING.
THE BEST EATERY IN TOWN.
HAROLD, AGAIN?
MARTHA, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.
IT IS NOT ME THIS TIME.
WELL, WHATEVER IT IS, IT'S DISGUSTING.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. YUCK.
MR. KRABS, SQUIDWARD.
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MY DATE...
PATTY.
YOUR DATE'S A KRABBY PATTY?
ME THINKS THE BOY'S REALLY LOST IT.
WHAT IS THAT PUTRID ODOR?
OH, IT'S THE KRABBY PATTY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' WITH THAT ROTTEN PIECE O' MEAT, BOY?
THIS ISN'T A PIECE O' MEAT, MR. KRABS.
SHE'S PATTY.
AND WE'RE ON A SPECIAL DATE TONIGHT
SO YOU DON'T MIND IF WE GET THE "MANAGER'S TREATMENT," DO YOU?
SORRY BOY, NO CAN DO.
OH, REALLY?
MR. FIVER SAYS DIFFERENT.
WHAT WAS THAT?
I COULDN'T HEAR YA.
HOW 'BOUT NOW?
ALL RIGHT, TAKE A SEAT.
GRAZIE.
HERE YOU GO, MY DEAR.
A THRONE BEFITTING A QUEEN.
OH, GOOD EVENING, MONSIEUR.
WHAT MIGHT WE HAVE ON THE MENU AT THIS FINE ESTABLISHMENT?
WELL, YOU SHOULD KNOW
CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT YOU WORK HERE, SOD FOR BRAINS.
SPEAKING OF SOD...
WHY DON'T YOU GET RID OF THIS GARBAGE?
IT'S STARTING TO STINK UP THE JOINT.
DON'T SAY SUCH A THING, SQUIDWARD.
PATTY'S JUST A LITTLE SICK, IS ALL.
WIGHT, LUBBIE-WUBBIE?
I'LL SHOW YOU SICK.
SQUIDWARD.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY BEAUTIFUL PATTY?
BEAUTIFUL, HUH?
HOW BEAUTIFUL DO YOU THINK THIS IS?
STOP IT, SQUIDWARD.
MAYBE YOU CAN'T SEE PATTY'S BEAUTY
BUT TO ME SHE'S THE MOST GORGEOUS CREATURE IN THE SEA.
WELL, I DEFINITELY SEE I CAN'T HELP THE MENTALLY ATROPHIED.
GOOD-BYE, CREATURE.
PAY YOU NO MIND TO THAT, WUBBIE-WUBBIE.
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU...
YEAH, WHAT IS THAT SMELL?
PATTY?
AHH!
WHAT'S HAPPENED TO YOU?
I THINK I CAN EXPLAIN, BOY.
THERE WAS A TIME WHEN I WAS IN LOVE, TOO.
SHE WAS A KRABBY PATTY THAT LOOKED A LOT LIKE YOURS DOES.
WELL, MAYBE NOT RIGHT NOW, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
SHE WAS A FIRM, JUICY, A WARM PATTY.
AND ATTRACTIVE- OH, SHE LOOKED GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT.
SO... I DID.
DO YOU HEAR WHAT I'M SAYIN' TO YOU, BOY?
UM, NOT QUITE, MR. KRABS.
KRABBY PATTIES ARE MEANT TO BE LOVED AND EATEN.
THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE PUT IN THE OCEAN FOR.
AND IT LOOKS LIKE YOURS IS WAY PAST DUE.
I SEE NOW.
I SEE WHAT I MUST DO.
OH, PATTY, MY DARLING.
BEFORE I DO THIS
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I ONLY DO IT OUT OF LOVE.
WELL DONE, BOY.
AND AS A REWARD FOR YOUR VALIANT EFFORT
I'LL ONLY CHARGE YOU 25 CENTS FOR THE PATTY.
EMPLOYEE DISCOUNT.
CAN I GET A DOGGIE BAG WITH THAT?
COULD YOU PASS THE CHIPS, SPONGEBOB?
SORRY, PATRICK, WE'RE ALL OUT.
AW, BARNACLES.
WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITH ALL THIS DIP?
PATRICK.
WHAT ARE YOU TWO MORONS DOING?
WAITING TO WATCH THE SUNRISE... WITH YOU.
AT 3:47 IN THE MORNING?
UH-HUH.
IN MY BEDROOM?
WE COME HERE EVERY MORNING.
YOU SNEAK INTO MY HOUSE
EVERY MORNING?
UH-HUH.
IT'S OUR FAVORITE PASTIME.
AH, THE MEMORIES WE'VE SHARED, RIGHT IN THIS ROOM.
THEY'RE ALL HERE IN THIS MEMORY BOOK.
HERE WE ARE ON THE 4th OF JULY.
AND VALENTINE'S DAY.
OH, YOU LOOKED SO CUTE ON EASTER.
WHAT'S WRONG, SQUIDWARD?
DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU
HAPPENS TO MY BRAIN EVERY TIME I SEE YOU?
STORY TIME.
CAN I TELL IT THIS TIME, SQUIDWARD?
PRETTY PLEASE?
WHENEVER SQUIDWARD SEES US
THE STORM CLOUDS IN HIS BRAIN ROLL IN AND A NASTY STORM RAGES.
SO SQUIDWARD'S HAPPY GLAND IS FORCED TO TAKE SHELTER
IN THE RECESSES OF HIS MIND.
BUT THE HAPPY GLAND CAN'T FIND A RECESS DEEP ENOUGH
SO HE GETS THE FLU AND HAS TO STAY IN BED UNTIL WE LEAVE.
AH-CHOO.
AND THAT IS WHY I WILL NEVER, FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE
AND THROUGHOUT ALL TIME AND ETERNITY, EVER...
French Man: THREE HOURS LATER.
AND WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING, I KNOW
THAT I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU TWO AGAIN.
SQUIDWARD?
FOR AS LONG AS TIME SHALL STAND.
UH, SQUIDWARD?
WHAT?
OHH...
THANKS FOR SHARING THIS MOMENT WITH US, SQUIDWARD.
GET OUT!
, PERFECT.
WOW, THAT'S A NICE ONE.
THANKS FOR INVITING US TO YOUR BIG FENCE-WARMING PARTY.
OH, OF COURSE.
COME HAVE A SEAT.
THE PICNIC'S ABOUT TO START.
OH, THIS IS SO NEAT.
I'VE NEVER PICNICKED ON A CATAPULT BEFORE, HAVE YOU, SPONGE...
IT WORKED.
NOW I JUST TURN ON THE ELECTRIC FENCE...
NOW THEY'LL NEVER GET BACK IN.
LET'S DO IT AGAIN.
CAN WE, SQUIDWARD? HUH?
WHAT? NO!
GET OUT.
BUT...
NO!
YOU'RE GOING OUT THIS DOOR
RIGHT...
YOU'RE NOT MAD AT US, ARE YOU, SQUIDWARD?
SQUIDWARD?
OK, THEN, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU NEED SOME ALONE TIME.
WE'LL BE AT THE PETTING ZOO IF YOU NEED US.
DO THEY HAVE CUTE SEAHORSES THERE?
YEAH, THEY'RE PRETTY ADORABLE.
AND... AND THE LITTLE SCALLOPS
THAT NIBBLE ON YOUR FINGERS WHEN YOU FEED THEM?
OH, YEAH.
CAN I COME?
OOH...
YEAH!
♪ DUM, DUM
GOOD NIGHT, SQUIDWARD.
HEY, PATRICK...
DID YOU NOTICE SOMETHING DIFFERENT ABOUT SQUIDWARD?
UH... NEW GLASSES?
NO, NO, I MEAN, HE SEEMS... HAPPIER.
GOOD NIGHT, BIKINI BOTTOM!
I LOVE YOU!
HE'S PROBABLY HAPPY ABOUT HIS NEW GLASSES.
AH, AH...
GOOD MORNING, SPONGEBOB.
"HONK".
SQUIDWARD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
YOU WERE RIGHT, SPONGEBOB.
WATCHING THE SUN RISE
TOGETHER IS MUCH BETTER.
OH YEAH, I FORGOT, IT'S THE NEW SQUIDWARD.
I GUESS I BETTER GET READY FOR WORK.
BOY, THE NEW SQUIDWARD SURE IS FRIENDLY.
THE NEW SQUIDWARD SURE IS HELPFUL.
AHH... HUH?
THE NEW SQUIDWARD SURE IS HYGIENIC.
BOY, THE NEW SQUIDWARD SURE IS CHUMMY.
AHH... THIS IS MORE LIKE IT.
JUST ME, MY GRILL...
AND YOU, MR. SMILEY FACE KRABBY PATTY.
NO ONE CAN COME BETWEEN US.
HELLO, SPONGEBOB. AH! MR. SQUIDWARD.
AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE OUT FRONT?
I WANTED TO HELP YOU WORK.
WHAT?
OH, THAT'S SILLY TALK, SQUIDWARD.
I'M CHIEF FRY COOK.
AND WE FRY COOK'S WORK ALONE.
AND, UH...
WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO GET DISTRACTED
WHILE WE'RE COOKING, SQUIDWARD.
Mr. MR. SQUIDWARD!
STOP DISTRACTING SPONGEBOB AND SERVICE THE CUSTOMERS.
HOW ARE WE TODAY?
EVERYTHING A-OK HERE?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
HOW'S YOUR MEAL?
ANYONE NEED TARTAR SAUCE?
I HAVE AN IDEA.
HOW 'BOUT A FREE KRUSTY KRAB JR. CREW HAT FOR THE LITTLE TYKE?
MOMMY...
I'M SCARED.
WHO WANTS A FREE REFILL?
DID SOMEONE JUST SAY "FREE"?
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM HERE?
HE, HE...
HE ASKED ME IF I WANTED TARTAR SAUCE
AND THEN HE GAVE ME A FREE HAT.
FREE!
MR. SQUIDWARD.
YES, SIR.
LISTEN UP.
ME CUSTOMERS COME HERE
FOR CHEAP FOOD AND VERBAL ABUSE.
AND IF YOU CAN'T GET IT RIGHT
GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN WITH SPONGEBOB.
SQUIDWARD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
MR. KRABS TOLD ME TO HELP YOU.
SO I MADE KRABBY PATTIES, SEE?
[TSK, TSK, TSK], OH, THESE WILL NEVER DO.
BESIDES, IT TAKES YEARS OF PRACTICE.
YOU'D NEVER BE UP TO IT, SORRY.
SPONGEBOB, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THOSE PATTIES?
OH, THESE ARE NO GOOD, MR. KRABS.
SQUIDWARD MADE THEM.
THEY LOOK OK TO ME.
BUT HE'S NOT A REAL FRY COOK.
HE IS NOW.
GIVE HIM AN APRON AND PUT HIM TO WORK.
Mr. YOU KNOW, HE MIGHT BE AS GOOD A FRY COOK AS YOU.
WOW, SPONGEBOB.
YOU'VE BEEN EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH A GAZILLION TIMES.
I WISH I COULD BE EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH.
ACTUALLY SQUIDWARD, IN POINT OF FACT
I'VE BEEN EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH A GAZILLION AND SIX TIMES.
KEEP DREAMIN'.
Mr. SPONGEBOB!
YES, MR. KRABS?
WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?
WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT?
Mr. A SMILEY FACE WITH DIMPLES?
DIMPLES?
IT WAS HIM.
NEW SQUIDWARD DID IT.
Mr. MR. SQUIDWARD.
YES, SIR.
I HAVE ONE THING TO SAY TO YOU, MISTER...
OH, I JUST LOVE THOSE LITTLE KETCHUP DIMPLES YOU DO.
YOU'RE ME NEW EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH.
SPECIAL DELIVERY.
FOR THIS MONTH'S EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH.
I WONDER WHO IT COULD BE.
AS IF I DIDN'T KNOW.
NO, REALLY, WHO IS IT?
I DON'T KNOW.
THE GUY YOU'RE LOOKING FOR IS OVER THERE.
HOORAY! OH?
SPONGEBOB? YES?
I WANT YOU TO PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, OK?
AND THEN I WANT YOU TO...
UM-HM.
HELP ME SPELL SQUIDWARD.
OK.
THANKS, SPONGEBOB.
PARTY AT MY HOUSE!
ENJOYING THE PARTY, SPONGEBOB?
HOW'S THE CAKE, SPONGEBOB?
IT'S OK, SQUIDWARD.
IT'S A VERY OK CAKE.
I LOVE BEING EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH.
OH, SO WHAT IF NEW SQUIDWARD IS A BETTER COOK THAN YOU.
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
AND SO WHAT IF SQUIDWARD REPLACED YOU AS EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH.
AND SO WHAT IF NEW SQUIDWARD IS POGO DANCING WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND.
POGO DANCING WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND?
OHH!
STOP!
MAYBE YOU CAN TAKE MY JOB.
AND MAYBE YOU CAN TAKE MY PLACE
ON THE EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH WALL OF FAME.
BUT NOBODY...
AND I MEAN NOBODY
POGO DANCES WITH THAT GUY BUT ME.
NOW DO YOURSELF A BIG, FAT FAVOR
AND GET OUT, BUB.
YOU KNOW, PATRICK
MAYBE I WAS A LITTLE HARD ON NEW SQUIDWARD.
I MEAN, HE MIGHT BE A GOOD FRY COOK
AND HE MIGHT HAVE HIS PICTURE ON THE WALL
BUT I STILL HAVE THE BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD.
I KNOW, I'LL GO APOLOGIZE.
COME ON.
SQUIDWARD, I JUST WANNA SAY
I'M SORRY FOR BEING SO SELFISH AND YELLING AT YOU AND ALL.
I MEAN, WHO CARES ABOUT COOKING
AND PICTURES ON THE WALL AND DANCING?
WE'RE BIGGER THAN THAT, RIGHT?
SO IF YOU'RE WILLING TO LET BYGONES BE BYGONES
THEN I'M WILLING TO MEET YOU HALFWAY.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, BUDDY?
PUT 'ER THERE.
HE'S TOO PROUD.
OH, I'LL JUST MEET YOU ALL THE WAY.
LAY ONE ON ME, PAL.
HEY, HEY, I WANNA DANCE FUNNY, TOO.
SPONGEBOB, PATRICK...
WHAT ARE YOU TWO STILL DOING HERE?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
YEAH, WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?
I DON'T NEED THIS AGGRAVATION.
WHY ARE YOU STILL STANDING HERE?