1 00:00:06,074 --> 00:00:11,956 97, 98, 99, 100! 2 00:00:11,997 --> 00:00:14,040 OK, Gary, let's do the other side now. 3 00:00:15,626 --> 00:00:17,878 Gary, can you hear that? 4 00:00:30,056 --> 00:00:33,352 Oh, Squidward. It's you! I thought I heard something. 5 00:00:33,393 --> 00:00:37,690 SpongeBob, I've been sitting here motionless for 45 minutes. 6 00:00:37,731 --> 00:00:40,693 What could you possibly have heard me doing? 7 00:00:40,734 --> 00:00:42,402 Breathing. 8 00:00:42,444 --> 00:00:44,905 SpongeBob, I'll give you five dollars 9 00:00:44,947 --> 00:00:48,200 if you let me enjoy the rest of my morning in peace. 10 00:00:48,241 --> 00:00:51,203 - OK! 11 00:00:51,244 --> 00:00:53,664 Hey! I coulda sworn I had five dollars in here... 12 00:00:53,706 --> 00:00:54,915 I have it, Squidward. 13 00:00:54,957 --> 00:00:57,042 You gave it to me to leave you alone yesterday! 14 00:00:58,711 --> 00:01:00,546 Squidward, you can have the five dollars back. 15 00:01:00,587 --> 00:01:01,797 Mr. Krabs says... 16 00:01:01,839 --> 00:01:06,301 I don't care what Mr. Krabs says! I just want... 17 00:01:08,721 --> 00:01:10,096 Coffee rain! 18 00:01:10,138 --> 00:01:11,724 It's hot chocolate. 19 00:01:13,559 --> 00:01:15,185 Chocolate rain! 20 00:01:18,022 --> 00:01:20,357 Squidward! 21 00:01:20,399 --> 00:01:23,652 - Squidward, wait! 22 00:01:36,707 --> 00:01:39,043 - It's locked! - Squidward! 23 00:01:39,084 --> 00:01:41,879 Squidward! 24 00:01:44,715 --> 00:01:45,758 Huh? 25 00:01:46,717 --> 00:01:50,763 The key! Oh, where did I put that stupid... 26 00:01:50,804 --> 00:01:52,014 Squidward! 27 00:01:53,473 --> 00:01:54,683 Squidward! 28 00:01:54,725 --> 00:01:57,101 Oh, why can't I just find the... 29 00:01:57,143 --> 00:02:00,647 - Squidward? - What? 30 00:02:00,689 --> 00:02:02,942 You left your keys on the table back there. 31 00:02:05,485 --> 00:02:07,195 - Hey, Squidward... - Yes? 32 00:02:07,237 --> 00:02:09,406 Didn't you used to have one of those cucumber bicycles? 33 00:02:09,448 --> 00:02:13,452 That was a recumbent bicycle. 34 00:02:13,493 --> 00:02:15,037 - And I sold it. - Why? 35 00:02:15,079 --> 00:02:17,205 So I could get further away from you! 36 00:02:23,462 --> 00:02:25,756 OK, I'll see ya later then, Squidward! 37 00:02:25,798 --> 00:02:28,467 Bon Voyage, nincompoop! 38 00:02:34,180 --> 00:02:35,432 What the... 39 00:02:39,143 --> 00:02:41,021 Can I help you, officer? 40 00:02:41,063 --> 00:02:42,648 No. 41 00:02:42,689 --> 00:02:45,067 But you can help yourself to this ticket. 42 00:02:45,109 --> 00:02:46,944 Ticket? 43 00:02:48,070 --> 00:02:51,406 Officer, Please! I have impeccable boat smarts! 44 00:02:51,448 --> 00:02:55,869 I pride myself in maintaining an unsoiled driving record! 45 00:02:55,911 --> 00:02:57,704 It's all that I have. 46 00:02:57,746 --> 00:03:00,082 Well, you can have it again, 47 00:03:00,124 --> 00:03:03,127 right after you complete Boating School. 48 00:03:07,506 --> 00:03:09,215 Boating School! 49 00:03:10,717 --> 00:03:13,595 Ah, well, it's just one day out of your life, Squiddy. 50 00:03:13,637 --> 00:03:15,722 How bad could it be? 51 00:03:15,764 --> 00:03:17,766 Oh, Squidward! 52 00:03:21,770 --> 00:03:23,188 Good morning, class. 53 00:03:23,229 --> 00:03:25,190 Would everyone please take a seat? 54 00:03:26,399 --> 00:03:29,069 Psst! Squidward! Sit here! 55 00:03:29,111 --> 00:03:31,947 - Here. - Um, excuse me, 56 00:03:31,989 --> 00:03:34,533 there don't seem to be any empty seats left. 57 00:03:34,574 --> 00:03:36,535 There's one right next to SpongeBob. 58 00:03:41,874 --> 00:03:43,333 Do you mind? 59 00:03:43,375 --> 00:03:46,712 Don't worry, Squidward. We're Boating Buddies, now. 60 00:03:46,753 --> 00:03:51,008 I'll teach you everything I know, and then we can... 61 00:03:51,050 --> 00:03:54,887 "We" won't be doing anything, because there is no we. 62 00:03:54,928 --> 00:03:57,222 - Understand? - Quiet in the front, please. 63 00:03:57,263 --> 00:03:58,974 Oh, I understand. 64 00:03:59,016 --> 00:04:03,979 I understand perfectly, Boating Buddy! 65 00:04:04,021 --> 00:04:07,024 OK, class. Why don't we get to know our new students 66 00:04:07,066 --> 00:04:09,860 by telling each other why we were sentenced to— 67 00:04:09,902 --> 00:04:13,238 I mean, why we are enrolled in Boating School. 68 00:04:13,279 --> 00:04:15,532 Um, I got caught speeding. 69 00:04:15,574 --> 00:04:17,117 Very good! Next? 70 00:04:17,159 --> 00:04:19,036 I don't see what's so very good about it. 71 00:04:19,078 --> 00:04:21,163 No, I didn't mean very... 72 00:04:21,205 --> 00:04:23,123 I know what you meant. 73 00:04:24,290 --> 00:04:26,376 - Next? - I'm here because my... 74 00:04:26,418 --> 00:04:29,880 We all know why you're here, SpongeBob. 75 00:04:29,922 --> 00:04:31,715 - What about you, sir? - What, me? 76 00:04:31,757 --> 00:04:34,176 Yes! Would you like to tell the rest of the class 77 00:04:34,218 --> 00:04:35,844 why you're with us today? 78 00:04:35,886 --> 00:04:38,180 - Why, I'm... 79 00:04:40,140 --> 00:04:42,101 All right. I'll tell you. 80 00:04:42,142 --> 00:04:45,437 I was trying to get away from him! 81 00:04:46,813 --> 00:04:48,857 He is the bane of my existence! 82 00:04:48,899 --> 00:04:50,358 Yours, too? 83 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:53,403 Uh, what I meant to say was, please come up to the chalkboard 84 00:04:53,445 --> 00:04:55,948 and draw a diagram of the incident. 85 00:04:55,989 --> 00:04:57,449 Gladly. 86 00:04:58,742 --> 00:05:01,453 It all started when I left my house... 87 00:05:04,539 --> 00:05:06,083 And then he appeared. 88 00:05:08,752 --> 00:05:11,255 He made an immediate right turn and parked... 89 00:05:12,923 --> 00:05:16,509 Here. Seeing the oncoming hazard, I looked both ways 90 00:05:16,551 --> 00:05:18,637 and proceeded safely towards my vehicle. 91 00:05:18,678 --> 00:05:20,430 It was then that I realized 92 00:05:20,472 --> 00:05:23,058 I was being followed at an unsafe distance! 93 00:05:25,018 --> 00:05:28,605 So, in order to create more optimal driving conditions, 94 00:05:28,647 --> 00:05:30,941 I was forced to then partake in... 95 00:05:30,983 --> 00:05:33,110 - ... evasive action. 96 00:05:35,612 --> 00:05:37,948 And, by increasing speed slightly, 97 00:05:37,990 --> 00:05:39,950 I created a safety-cushion, 98 00:05:39,992 --> 00:05:42,202 while inadvertently attracting the attention 99 00:05:42,244 --> 00:05:45,664 of said law enforcement official. 100 00:05:45,705 --> 00:05:48,374 May I sit down now, sweet cheeks? 101 00:05:48,416 --> 00:05:50,210 Why, certainly. 102 00:05:50,252 --> 00:05:53,130 And perhaps now SpongeBob would like to come up 103 00:05:53,172 --> 00:05:55,174 and illustrate his side of the story. 104 00:05:55,215 --> 00:05:59,094 - His side? - Well, first I started over here 105 00:05:59,136 --> 00:06:03,307 and then I went way over here. Like that. 106 00:06:03,347 --> 00:06:06,392 And then, I went around like this, and over here, 107 00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:08,561 and across this way, and down here, and over here, 108 00:06:08,603 --> 00:06:09,855 and then... 109 00:06:24,077 --> 00:06:29,208 and then I came around, and stopped right here. 110 00:06:29,249 --> 00:06:34,254 SpongeBob and Squidward, Best Boating Buddies Forever? 111 00:06:34,296 --> 00:06:35,463 What the... 112 00:06:36,589 --> 00:06:38,550 - Do you like it, Squidward? - Shut it. 113 00:06:42,846 --> 00:06:45,974 Ah, lunchtime, eh, boating buddy? 114 00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:51,521 I'll have to eat over here. Just like back in grade school. 115 00:06:51,563 --> 00:06:54,233 Squidward, you got any extra mustard in there? 116 00:06:56,484 --> 00:06:58,862 Mm. Bon appétit, Squiddy! 117 00:07:04,201 --> 00:07:07,662 You ruined my morning, you've ruined my lunch, 118 00:07:07,704 --> 00:07:10,040 and you're ruining my... 119 00:07:16,171 --> 00:07:20,384 OK, class. It's time for our behind-the-wheel lesson. 120 00:07:20,425 --> 00:07:23,845 Squidward, you'll be riding with SpongeBob. 121 00:07:23,887 --> 00:07:25,471 Yeah, I never saw that comin'. 122 00:07:26,932 --> 00:07:30,060 Now, we're gonna take this nice and slow. 123 00:07:30,102 --> 00:07:33,479 SpongeBob, what do we do when pulling away from the curb? 124 00:07:33,521 --> 00:07:36,649 - Step on the gas? - Good! Nice and easy. 125 00:07:36,691 --> 00:07:38,568 Now, let's slowly... 126 00:07:40,070 --> 00:07:41,363 SpongeBob, look out! 127 00:07:46,368 --> 00:07:48,912 - SpongeBob, gimme that wheel! - I got it! I got it! 128 00:07:48,954 --> 00:07:50,705 Don't... Just... 129 00:07:50,747 --> 00:07:52,374 - Let go of it! 130 00:07:53,666 --> 00:07:55,127 Hooligans. 131 00:08:09,349 --> 00:08:11,559 Johnson, I've finally figured out a way 132 00:08:11,601 --> 00:08:13,353 to shrink an ordinary mailman 133 00:08:13,395 --> 00:08:15,855 down to the size of a grain of sand! 134 00:08:15,897 --> 00:08:18,400 - But how? - By using this Shrink-Ray! 135 00:08:22,862 --> 00:08:24,323 Mother of Mercy! 136 00:08:25,407 --> 00:08:27,117 - Where'd they go? - There! 137 00:08:27,159 --> 00:08:30,578 They're headed right for that discarded potato chip! 138 00:08:33,165 --> 00:08:36,501 - What's the matter? - Potato chips are his favorite! 139 00:08:36,542 --> 00:08:38,420 Johnson! 140 00:08:39,296 --> 00:08:40,755 No! 141 00:08:42,048 --> 00:08:44,343 No! No, no. 142 00:08:56,188 --> 00:08:59,232 I never will understand these city folk. 143 00:08:59,274 --> 00:09:01,318 Hey! Where'd Squidward go? 144 00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:09,159 I was just leaving. 145 00:09:11,411 --> 00:09:14,039 OK, class, it's time to take our final exam. 146 00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:15,581 Please have your pencils ready. 147 00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:18,668 Psst! Hey! Boating Buddy! If you need any help, 148 00:09:18,710 --> 00:09:20,920 I've taken this test hundreds of times! I can... 149 00:09:20,962 --> 00:09:24,924 How many times do I have to tell you? I'm not your buddy! 150 00:09:24,966 --> 00:09:29,888 I don't need your help, and I don't need you. Ever! 151 00:09:29,929 --> 00:09:32,307 Now, just kindly let me take this stupid test 152 00:09:32,349 --> 00:09:33,850 so I can get outta here 153 00:09:33,892 --> 00:09:36,520 and never have to see you again for the rest of my life! 154 00:09:36,561 --> 00:09:39,189 OK, Squidward. If that's the way you want it. 155 00:09:39,231 --> 00:09:40,940 Thank you. 156 00:09:42,567 --> 00:09:45,695 Ha! 157 00:09:50,075 --> 00:09:52,536 Three more minutes, class. 158 00:09:52,618 --> 00:09:54,371 SpongeBob! 159 00:09:54,413 --> 00:09:57,165 - SpongeBob, I need your help! - Two more minutes. 160 00:09:57,207 --> 00:09:59,543 SpongeBob, please! This is important! 161 00:09:59,584 --> 00:10:02,128 You said you didn't need my help, Squidward. 162 00:10:02,170 --> 00:10:05,298 - And that you didn't need me. - No, no, I never said that. 163 00:10:06,132 --> 00:10:10,220 I don't need your help, and I don't need you! 164 00:10:10,262 --> 00:10:12,055 Jerk. 165 00:10:12,097 --> 00:10:14,682 All right, I said it, but that was before! 166 00:10:14,724 --> 00:10:17,852 - Before what? - Before... 167 00:10:17,894 --> 00:10:20,105 - Before... - One more minute, class. 168 00:10:20,146 --> 00:10:22,899 Before we were... 169 00:10:22,941 --> 00:10:24,608 Boating Buddies. 170 00:10:24,650 --> 00:10:26,236 Yay! 171 00:10:26,278 --> 00:10:28,029 - OK, class, time's up. 172 00:10:28,071 --> 00:10:29,573 Time can't be up! 173 00:10:29,613 --> 00:10:31,908 I didn't get a chance to fill in a single answer! 174 00:10:31,950 --> 00:10:33,368 What am I supposed to do? 175 00:10:33,410 --> 00:10:35,537 You do the same thing that everybody else does 176 00:10:35,579 --> 00:10:37,038 who fails the test. 177 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:40,250 - You take it again next week! - Next week? 178 00:10:40,292 --> 00:10:43,627 Don't worry, I've never gotten one answer right on this test! 179 00:10:43,669 --> 00:10:47,340 But we'll meet again next week at Mrs. Puff's Boating School! 180 00:11:06,818 --> 00:11:08,694 Order up! 181 00:11:08,736 --> 00:11:10,322 How's it lookin' out there, boy? 182 00:11:10,363 --> 00:11:12,865 Like two more satisfied regulars, Mr. K. 183 00:11:12,907 --> 00:11:15,827 I ain't interested in the same old regulars, SpongeBob. 184 00:11:15,868 --> 00:11:18,371 So I took out an ad in the Bikini Bottom Examiner 185 00:11:18,413 --> 00:11:20,457 to bring in some new customers. 186 00:11:20,499 --> 00:11:23,585 'Twas a bargain, too. Only cost me a nickel. 187 00:11:23,627 --> 00:11:25,629 So, tell me now, boy, 188 00:11:25,669 --> 00:11:29,090 how many new customers we got out there so far? 189 00:11:29,132 --> 00:11:31,675 Ooh, let me see, there was... 190 00:11:31,717 --> 00:11:34,012 - None. - What? What do you mean, none? 191 00:11:34,053 --> 00:11:36,014 Don't these people read the paper? 192 00:11:39,725 --> 00:11:42,686 Ooh. This thing hasn't been touched in months. 193 00:11:44,314 --> 00:11:46,566 While that paper is sellin' like Krabby Patties. 194 00:11:46,608 --> 00:11:48,985 Uh, pardon me, sir, 195 00:11:49,027 --> 00:11:52,113 could I interest you in a copy of the Examiner this fine day? 196 00:11:52,155 --> 00:11:55,825 Nobody reads the Examiner, bud. 197 00:11:55,867 --> 00:11:58,662 It's all fulla boring charts and facts. 198 00:11:58,702 --> 00:12:00,955 The Bottom Feeder is where it's at. 199 00:12:00,997 --> 00:12:03,583 It's got, like, interesting stories and stuff. 200 00:12:03,625 --> 00:12:06,378 "Fish Boy strikes again." Wait a minute. 201 00:12:06,419 --> 00:12:08,630 Aren't these stories a little less than truthful? 202 00:12:08,672 --> 00:12:11,132 I don't know, but they're sellin'. 203 00:12:11,174 --> 00:12:14,553 Yes, they certainly are. 204 00:12:14,594 --> 00:12:16,429 Please, allow me. 205 00:12:16,471 --> 00:12:19,849 - Thank you. - No, thank you. 206 00:12:19,891 --> 00:12:23,102 Now, let's see how much they charge for advertising... 207 00:12:23,144 --> 00:12:26,690 25 cents per word? 208 00:12:26,730 --> 00:12:30,360 The newspaper business sure is easy money. 209 00:12:32,445 --> 00:12:34,947 That gives me an idea. 210 00:12:37,867 --> 00:12:41,621 What a fantabulastical day, eh, Squiddy? 211 00:12:41,663 --> 00:12:45,458 Yep, another wonderful, humdrum day slinging burgers. 212 00:12:48,712 --> 00:12:50,213 Off of your duff, boy! 213 00:12:50,255 --> 00:12:53,216 You think I spend all last night assembling this printing press 214 00:12:53,258 --> 00:12:55,343 so you could laze around all day? 215 00:12:55,385 --> 00:12:57,761 From now on, you'll be twice as busy, 216 00:12:57,803 --> 00:13:00,265 and I expect you to wear two hats. 217 00:13:00,306 --> 00:13:02,892 Cos along with your usual fry cookin' duties, 218 00:13:02,934 --> 00:13:06,938 you're my lead reporter for the new Krabby Kronicle! 219 00:13:06,979 --> 00:13:09,524 Oh, my very own press badge. 220 00:13:09,566 --> 00:13:13,653 That's right, boy. And here's your very own camera. 221 00:13:13,695 --> 00:13:14,946 You'll need it to document 222 00:13:14,987 --> 00:13:17,115 all them juicy stories you're gonna write. 223 00:13:17,156 --> 00:13:19,451 Well, what are you waitin' for, boy? 224 00:13:19,492 --> 00:13:21,160 The public thirsts for a juicy story, eh? 225 00:13:21,202 --> 00:13:22,786 Hmm. But what kind of story is juicy enough 226 00:13:22,828 --> 00:13:24,330 to quench their dry news gullets? 227 00:13:24,372 --> 00:13:26,082 I don't even know where to begin to look. 228 00:13:33,798 --> 00:13:35,550 No news to report here. 229 00:13:35,592 --> 00:13:37,927 Stop the presses, it's Patrick! 230 00:13:37,969 --> 00:13:40,888 And he appears to be waiting for the bus! 231 00:13:40,930 --> 00:13:43,516 This is the kind of story my readers are waiting for. 232 00:13:43,558 --> 00:13:45,935 - Patrick Star? 233 00:13:45,977 --> 00:13:48,020 I'm Scoop SquarePants from the Krabby Kronicle. 234 00:13:48,062 --> 00:13:50,649 Everyone's wondering, what bus are you taking today? 235 00:13:50,690 --> 00:13:53,652 Oh, I'm not taking a bus, SpongeBob. 236 00:13:53,693 --> 00:13:56,321 I am watching this pole. 237 00:13:56,362 --> 00:13:59,907 So the next time it moves, I will see it. 238 00:13:59,949 --> 00:14:02,786 Whoa! This story is juicy. 239 00:14:14,673 --> 00:14:17,925 What a money-tastical day, eh, Mr. Squidward? 240 00:14:17,967 --> 00:14:20,470 Yeah, I'm just raking it in. 241 00:14:20,512 --> 00:14:23,598 I'm excited about all the newspaper sales, too. 242 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:25,850 We haven't sold any papers today. 243 00:14:25,891 --> 00:14:28,144 What do you mean, we haven't sold any newspapers? 244 00:14:28,186 --> 00:14:29,688 Certainly, this gentleman 245 00:14:29,729 --> 00:14:32,440 would like a copy of the Krabby Kronicle. 246 00:14:32,482 --> 00:14:35,109 Looks boring. Can I just have a Krabby Patty? 247 00:14:35,151 --> 00:14:36,444 Too boring? 248 00:14:37,445 --> 00:14:39,781 SpongeBob! What's the meaning of this? 249 00:14:39,823 --> 00:14:41,324 Meaning of what, Mr. Krabs? 250 00:14:41,366 --> 00:14:43,909 "Local resident watches pole?" 251 00:14:43,951 --> 00:14:45,870 No-one's gonna pay to read this malarkey! 252 00:14:45,911 --> 00:14:47,789 When you write these stories, 253 00:14:47,831 --> 00:14:50,291 you gotta use a little imagination, boy. 254 00:14:50,333 --> 00:14:52,752 Imagination. 255 00:14:52,794 --> 00:14:57,048 Yeah, maybe instead of, "Man watches pole," 256 00:14:57,089 --> 00:15:01,344 you could say something like... Oh... "Man Marries Pole." 257 00:15:01,386 --> 00:15:04,764 Then you could alter the photo a little to fit the headline... 258 00:15:04,806 --> 00:15:07,559 See? Now, that's a juicy story. 259 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:09,227 Mr. Krabs, isn't that lying? 260 00:15:09,268 --> 00:15:13,648 Don't think of it as lying, boy. Think of it as a practical joke. 261 00:15:13,690 --> 00:15:16,526 Y'know, something everybody can have a good laugh about. 262 00:15:16,568 --> 00:15:19,070 The public expects a little embellishment here and there, 263 00:15:19,111 --> 00:15:20,739 so I want you to go out there 264 00:15:20,780 --> 00:15:23,366 and get me a lead story that'll sell! 265 00:15:31,082 --> 00:15:33,877 Mrs. Puff is gonna laugh her hat off 266 00:15:33,918 --> 00:15:35,086 when she reads this! 267 00:15:35,127 --> 00:15:37,380 Boating teacher in high speed chase. 268 00:15:37,422 --> 00:15:39,257 I think you've finally done it! 269 00:15:39,298 --> 00:15:43,344 You've given me a story that'll sell! And sell it has. 270 00:15:45,971 --> 00:15:48,099 Yeah, but that isn't the story I wrote. 271 00:15:48,140 --> 00:15:50,017 That's called editorial privilege, son. 272 00:15:50,059 --> 00:15:52,478 It gives it that extra oomph to move units. 273 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:55,690 Besides, how could such a little news story 274 00:15:55,732 --> 00:15:58,109 possibly affect Mrs. Puff in any way? 275 00:15:58,150 --> 00:16:00,945 I can't believe such a little news story 276 00:16:00,986 --> 00:16:03,155 could have ruined my business. 277 00:16:06,033 --> 00:16:08,160 Let's see what there is to see. 278 00:16:08,202 --> 00:16:11,956 Wait a minute. Larry the Lobster? 279 00:16:11,997 --> 00:16:15,835 Hmm. Wonder what kind of dirt he has under those muscles. 280 00:16:17,503 --> 00:16:22,508 Ah-ha! This looks shady. Very shady. 281 00:16:22,550 --> 00:16:25,177 Larry! Hey, tough guy. Can I punch you in the gut? 282 00:16:25,219 --> 00:16:28,556 Sure. Everybody does. It won't hurt me a bit. 283 00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:33,144 Told you it wouldn't hurt. 284 00:16:33,185 --> 00:16:34,938 - Thanks, big guy. - See you around. 285 00:16:36,272 --> 00:16:38,817 Very interesting. 286 00:16:39,609 --> 00:16:40,693 Out! Out! Out! 287 00:16:40,735 --> 00:16:43,362 - Hey, what's the big idea? - Dis! 288 00:16:43,404 --> 00:16:46,699 "Larry the Loser gets beaten up by pipsqueak." 289 00:16:46,741 --> 00:16:48,910 - B-but... - No buts. 290 00:16:48,952 --> 00:16:52,789 I can't have a wimp like you destroying my gym's reputation. 291 00:16:52,831 --> 00:16:54,457 You're banned forever! 292 00:16:54,499 --> 00:16:56,626 - Hello, Larry! - Not now, SpongeBob. 293 00:16:56,668 --> 00:16:59,545 Let me take in the fact that my life is ruined. 294 00:16:59,587 --> 00:17:01,714 Ruined? What're you talking about? 295 00:17:01,756 --> 00:17:03,967 These lies someone wrote about me. 296 00:17:05,844 --> 00:17:09,013 Thanks for your business! And here's your paper. 297 00:17:09,054 --> 00:17:10,640 Mr. Krabs, can I have a word with you? 298 00:17:10,682 --> 00:17:12,057 Make it quick, boy, 299 00:17:12,099 --> 00:17:14,101 these papers are sellin' faster than we can print 'em! 300 00:17:14,143 --> 00:17:16,437 That's exactly what I wanted to talk to you about, sir. 301 00:17:16,479 --> 00:17:18,857 I don't think these stories are doing anyone any good. 302 00:17:18,898 --> 00:17:21,567 Well, they're certainly doing me some good. 303 00:17:21,609 --> 00:17:24,904 Can you believe it? Look at all this loot! 304 00:17:26,364 --> 00:17:29,575 Yeah. But isn't there a way we could write juicy stories 305 00:17:29,617 --> 00:17:30,743 without hurting people? 306 00:17:30,785 --> 00:17:33,329 You just don't get it, do you, boy? 307 00:17:33,371 --> 00:17:35,289 We're not hurting anyone. 308 00:17:35,331 --> 00:17:39,126 We're just making their lives interesting for everybody else. 309 00:17:39,168 --> 00:17:41,671 Now, get out there and fetch another story. 310 00:17:43,589 --> 00:17:45,341 Oh, Karen! 311 00:17:45,383 --> 00:17:47,552 I think this is it. 312 00:17:47,593 --> 00:17:49,762 The Chum Stick that's finally gonna 313 00:17:49,804 --> 00:17:52,974 drive Krabs out of business. 314 00:17:53,016 --> 00:17:56,019 I think not. I'm Health Inspector Yellowtail. 315 00:17:56,060 --> 00:17:58,604 I'm officially closing down your restaurant. 316 00:17:58,646 --> 00:18:01,232 Why? I haven't done anything. 317 00:18:01,273 --> 00:18:03,401 That's not what this says. 318 00:18:03,442 --> 00:18:06,111 "Plankton's Chum made of your Chums." 319 00:18:06,153 --> 00:18:09,741 "The Chum Bucket serves your friends in more ways than one." 320 00:18:09,782 --> 00:18:11,576 What? 321 00:18:11,617 --> 00:18:14,453 Who's to blame for this? Who? 322 00:18:17,665 --> 00:18:22,294 You're reachin' new levels of imagination, boyo! 323 00:18:22,336 --> 00:18:23,963 Yeah, I know. 324 00:18:24,005 --> 00:18:25,882 What's wrong, boy? You sick, or something? 325 00:18:25,924 --> 00:18:27,759 Yes, Mr. Krabs. You could say that. 326 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:30,553 Don't be silly, boy. We're a success! 327 00:18:30,595 --> 00:18:32,096 Mr. Krabs, we're hurting people. 328 00:18:32,137 --> 00:18:35,058 Oh, baloney. You better start feelin' right, 329 00:18:35,099 --> 00:18:38,019 cos if you don't, you can kiss yer spatula goodbye. 330 00:18:38,061 --> 00:18:39,437 Mr. Krabs! You wouldn't! 331 00:18:39,478 --> 00:18:40,939 Oh, darn tootin', I would. 332 00:18:40,980 --> 00:18:44,233 Now, get out there and bring me a juicy one. 333 00:18:44,275 --> 00:18:45,651 Aye-aye, cap'n. 334 00:18:51,032 --> 00:18:53,618 Sorry, fellas, this is a private tree dome. 335 00:18:53,659 --> 00:18:55,828 I had no idea it talked. 336 00:18:55,870 --> 00:18:59,540 Don't worry, we're from the Neptunian Science Committee. 337 00:18:59,582 --> 00:19:03,086 And we've come to confiscate all your science awards. 338 00:19:03,127 --> 00:19:05,170 Haven't you read today's headlines? 339 00:19:05,212 --> 00:19:07,214 It can't even read. Why are you... 340 00:19:07,256 --> 00:19:09,008 Oh, gimme that! 341 00:19:09,050 --> 00:19:11,886 "Sandy Cheeks or Sandy Chump?" 342 00:19:11,928 --> 00:19:14,764 "Bushy-tailed brainiac really a slow-witted squirrel." 343 00:19:14,806 --> 00:19:17,100 "By SpongeBob SquarePants?" 344 00:19:17,141 --> 00:19:19,477 That yellow sidewinder thinks he can do that? 345 00:19:19,518 --> 00:19:21,520 Oh, boy! We'd better scram. 346 00:19:21,562 --> 00:19:23,689 The dumb ones are always the most violent. 347 00:19:30,071 --> 00:19:32,197 You've really outdone yourself this time. 348 00:19:36,035 --> 00:19:38,913 Mr. Krabs, I can't write these stories any more. 349 00:19:38,955 --> 00:19:40,623 Come on. That's a bunch of hooey. 350 00:19:40,665 --> 00:19:43,918 I've seen people's lives ruined with my own eyes. 351 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:47,839 People want wild, juicy stories. That's what sells! 352 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:49,674 Now, I want your little, yellow noggin 353 00:19:49,715 --> 00:19:51,843 to come up with the wildest story ever. 354 00:19:51,884 --> 00:19:53,761 One that'll top all the others. 355 00:19:53,803 --> 00:19:56,097 Gee, Mr. Krabs. I've written about everyone in town. 356 00:19:56,139 --> 00:20:00,267 - Any ideas, sir? - Surprise me. Gimme a shocker. 357 00:20:01,519 --> 00:20:04,147 Goodnight, boy. I'll check on you tomorrow mornin'. 358 00:20:04,188 --> 00:20:08,192 And remember, the wildest story ever! 359 00:20:08,233 --> 00:20:11,070 The wildest story ever, huh? 360 00:20:15,282 --> 00:20:17,284 How's it goin', lad? 361 00:20:19,370 --> 00:20:21,622 Uh-uh. It's a surprise. 362 00:20:21,664 --> 00:20:24,375 Excellent! We're gonna sell out in no time. 363 00:20:24,416 --> 00:20:26,585 We'll have to do another printing. 364 00:20:26,627 --> 00:20:28,420 - Huh? 365 00:20:28,462 --> 00:20:31,298 - Task Master! - What's goin' on? 366 00:20:31,340 --> 00:20:33,300 You should know! 367 00:20:33,342 --> 00:20:36,012 "Krabs overworks employees, reaps reward?" 368 00:20:36,054 --> 00:20:38,222 "Krabby Kronicle mastermind behind bogus stories 369 00:20:38,263 --> 00:20:41,433 pays his tired, underage reporter pennies 370 00:20:41,475 --> 00:20:42,727 while he rakes in the dough." 371 00:20:42,768 --> 00:20:46,064 How could you do that to such an innocent child? 372 00:20:46,105 --> 00:20:48,482 It's sick and inhumane. 373 00:20:48,524 --> 00:20:52,028 Not to mention the fact that he's written lies about us. 374 00:20:52,070 --> 00:20:54,947 I lost my restaurant because of you. 375 00:20:54,989 --> 00:20:56,615 And I thought I was evil. 376 00:20:56,657 --> 00:20:59,660 All the kids in town wanna beat me up for lunch money. 377 00:21:01,204 --> 00:21:05,416 And I've had to go back to watching day time television. 378 00:21:05,457 --> 00:21:08,586 That's it. We're taking our money back. 379 00:21:12,882 --> 00:21:16,010 - Mr. Krabs, are you OK? 380 00:21:16,052 --> 00:21:19,471 How can I be OK when me money's gone? 381 00:21:20,848 --> 00:21:24,309 All gone! 382 00:21:26,395 --> 00:21:28,106 It just goes to show, 383 00:21:28,147 --> 00:21:31,776 trying to make an easy buck doesn't pay. 384 00:21:33,276 --> 00:21:34,612 Or does it? 385 00:21:43,204 --> 00:21:47,541 Get some scissors, boy-o. It's time to use my imagination. 386 00:21:47,583 --> 00:21:50,335 Hey, guys? Can you fix me and the wife up 387 00:21:50,377 --> 00:21:52,797 a couple of Krabby Patties?