- Ahoy, Mr. Krabs. - Huh?
Oh, ahoy, SpongeBob.
Ahoy, Mr. Krabs!
OK. That's over with.
See if first mate Squidward needs help at the register.
And what are you up to on this fine, fine Monday?
Well, I was gonna wait till this afternoon,
but I guess I can show you now.
Show me what?
I'm introducing a new Krusty Krab promotion.
You are?
I sure am.
Who are you gonna introduce it to?
All my loyal customers, of course.
Ha!
Anyway, we got new beverage cups.
Wow.
There's regular, large and the new Viking size.
But, Mr. Krabs, these are all the same size cup.
SpongeBob, this promotion is designed to save us money.
Don't forget, each patron who purchases any drink
of our Krusty Krab Viking size gets to try on
this cardboard Viking helmet.
He found while cleaning his attic over the weekend.
Don't you know when you're being ignored?
You're the one talking.
Mr. Krabs, it's beautiful—
Not so fast!
Access to the mighty helmet will be granted
to active promotion participants only.
And only those who purchase Viking size.
Mr. Krabs, what's a Viking?
Oh, well, um, the Vikings lived a long time ago.
- How long? - Ah... about ten years.
And? Uh...
You're gonna have to ask Squidward.
He's the smart one.
Barnacle butt.
- Hi, Squidward! - What do you want?
Mr. Krabs said you were going to teach me about Vikings.
Oh, really?
Will you teach me, huh?
Sure, I'll teach you. Listen closely now.
The Vikings were a race of scholars and scientists,
who lived before even Mr. Krabs was born.
They are believed to have discovered ketchup
and enjoy dressing up their pets as chunks of masonry
on the weekends.
Their favorite movies are in black and white.
- Look out! - Shh!
And grown Vikings are known to collect socks,
which they display and trade
at monthly sock-trading conventions
called Sockengarten.
Sockengarten!
Wow!
Squidward, do you think Vikings really drink their beverages
in Viking size?
Of course they do!
How else would Mr. Krabs come up with such a brilliant idea?
- Do you think... - SpongeBob!
Can't you see I am trying to work?
- But... - But?
There's more about Vikings I wanna find out!
Well, then, why don't you go ask them?
Thanks, Squidward.
Mwah!
"Dear Vikings.
I am writing to ask you guys about your lives and stuff.
If you would take the time to answer all my neat questions,
then that would be really swell."
Ah, Helga!
Tell me once again of the time you visited
those remote Himalayan hot springs.
A letter!
Why must you always come in here during story time?
- But, but, I... - Guards!
Please, no, you don't understand!
I was only trying to...
Your Majesty, look! A letter!
How incredibly interesting. I must read it at once.
Welcome to the Krusty Krab. May I take your order?
We are Vikings.
Our chieftain sent us here because we got this letter.
SpongeBob. There's some Vikings here to see you.
What's that, Squidward? I couldn't hear you. Oh!
Ah! Are you the one they call the SpongeBob?
I think so!
Well, we are here to teach you all about the Vikings.
Huzzah!
One of the things Vikings like to do is redecorate.
How interesting!
And another thing we Vikings like to do is appropriate.
What a fascinating culture.
And on occasion, the Vikings, we've been known to liberate.
What the? Hey! You can't do that!
I can't believe how much I'm learning.
Squidward, I'll be back in one hour.
I'm going on my lunch break.
Squidward?
Would you mind telling us what this is all about?
Shush!
Now that you're part of our crew,
I guess we should introduce ourselves.
This is Olaf.
And this is Olaf.
This is... Olaf.
Olaf, Olaf, Olaf.
And, um... um...
Olaf.
So, let me guess, your name must be—
That's right. Gordon.
Nice to meet you.
Now, before I put you two to work, I wanna know what—
Wait! I have more questions about the Vikings' way of life.
Like what?
Well, like, what do the Vikings like to do for fun?
Hmm? Fun?
Hmm. Ah. Um. Well...
- What about the shield toss? - Oh, yes, yes.
Hmm. Anything else?
Um...
What about flaming shield toss?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Anything else? - Um...
Uh, I can't really think of anything.
Me neither.
- Oh, yeah! - What is it, Olaf?
We like to sing songs.
No, we don't!
Wait, no!
OK, I admit it was a lousy idea. I promise it won't happen again.
- You got that right.
Any other questions?
I'll let you know if I think of anything.
So, tell me, what is it that you two know how to do?
Well, Mr. Krabs tells me I'm pretty good with a spatula.
Ha!
Fine, you're our ship's new head chef.
And what can you do?
Well, if you must know,
I'm a widely renowned clarinet virtuoso,
recognized interior design consultant,
licensed and certified antique macrame connoisseur,
born and raised collector and sculptor of driftwood,
and able to recognize over 1300 brand names
of pedal-operated vehicles at a single glance.
Plus, I make a killer souffle.
Impressive. You'll be the ship's bathroom attendant.
A promotion! Congratulations, Squidward.
Hold it right there, whiskers.
Let's not forget you're the one who dragged me
onto this crate in the first place.
Now you ask me to pour my heart out,
and this is the respect I get?
Well, you've got another thing coming, honey.
I want off this boat, pronto!
On second thought, bathroom attendants make tips.
Well, look on the bright side, Squidward.
No more living next door to SpongeBob.
Let her rip, Jacko.
Wait! You can't do that.
You mean to question the will of the tribe?
If it means saving my best friend, then yes.
Then pick up the weapon
and fight with me in accordance with the prophecy.
Duel! Duel! Duel! Duel!
Go on, pick it up.
But...
Go on, weakling.
- Owned!
But, but, I...
We're being attacked by a giant monster!
This is the end!
The end of the Vikings!
Oh, Valhalla, why have you forsaken us?
Guys, you just ran into a piece of ice.
No-one's forsaken you.
There's a breach in the hull. You got to patch it up.
Quick, everybody take one of these.
What's that for? It's a security blanket.
How are you gonna patch a leak with that?
We're not. But it makes us feel so much better.
Hey, you forgot your blanket.
What the barnacles is going on down there?
- Pardon me, Squidward.
It's all yours.
Thanks.
There.
Look up there! What's he doing?
Here goes nothing!
Now that's what I call a Viking-sized adventure!
You'll never escape this time, Man Ray!
Our molecular bubble is impenetrable.
That's exactly what I was hoping for.
Whoa!
Stop!
Thanks for making this easy! Till next time!
You've just enjoyed another episode
of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy.
Brought to you by
the Mermaidman and Barnacleboy book.
For the first time, we learn of these superheroes' origins,
and their rise to stardom.
Mermaidman and Barnacleboy will appear in the flesh
signing their new book.
Don't delay! Arrive early to get your copy signed.
Doors open at 8:00a.m.
Oh, boy! We're going to get our books!
We're gonna meet Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy!
We'll shake their hands. They're gonna sign our books!
There's only one problem!
I can't.
What do you mean?
I'll be in boating school at 8:00 a.m. tomorrow.
Oh, well, can't you just skip a day?
Just call in sick. Always works for Squidward.
And tarnish my reputation for never missing one day of school?
I couldn't.
Besides, that would be lying. And lying is wrong.
OK, hmm... Oh, I know!
Um, what are those things you use when, um, after you eat,
- and you need to take a— - Take a bathroom break!
That's the one!
What if you take a bathroom break tomorrow,
sneak out of the window, get your book signed,
and sneak back into class! It wouldn't take long at all.
But what if I don't need to use the bathroom?
Oh, there's always a catch!
Need brain fuel.
SpongeBob, how am I gonna feed my brain
when all you have is your fancy bubbly water?
Well, it'll have to do.
- Patrick, is this really nec— - Necessary? Yes, it is!
Patrick?
Yeah?
You feeling alright?
Uh-huh.
Why?
Nothing, nothing.
That's it!
What?
I won't go to the bathroom till tomorrow.
Then, when I have to go, I'll really have to go.
Can anyone tell me what the hand signal is for a left turn?
Something the matter, SpongeBob?
Just a little. Oh, I gotta...
- Gotta go to the... - I'd say so. Here.
The bathroom key!
And make sure you return this bathroom key to my desk,
or you're in big trouble, mister.
Thank you, Mrs. Puff.
And hurry back, no dillydallying.
Thanks. Will do.
There you are, young man.
Oh, boy, signed by Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy!
Now I shall be the envy of the Superhero Fan Club.
Next!
Why, I sure do like signing books. What's this for again?
Hi, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, will you sign our books?
Of course.
- There you go. - Thank you!
Hmm, anytime, boys.
And remember, stay on the path of evil!
It's stay away from the path of evil!
Oh. What is evil?
Oh, for the love of...
OK, that was fun.
- I should be getting back. - SpongeBob, look!
- Let's go catch it! - But what about my class?
- This is a short cut. - Oh, man!
Wait up! You don't even have a net.
Patrick!
Wow! Neptune's scepter, I don't believe this!
Pretty cool, huh?
- How'd you do that? - I didn't! They did!
They're friendly.
Wow!
Oh, boy, you weren't kidding!
You're free to go, guys.
Ice cream!
Oh, come on, I don't have time for this!
Yeah, four scoops.
Patrick, have you forgotten? I gotta go.
Don't be such a sourpuss. Here, I'll buy you a cone.
Congratulations! You're my 100th customer!
From now on you can come back
and have all the free ice cream you want.
Well, this certainly has been a glorious day!
- But I better get back to class.
You said it, buddy.
Where do you think you're going? You just got here!
I'm sorry. I've got to get back to class.
Sure you can't stay for just a short spell, SpongeBob?
It's such a nice day and everyone's having a good time.
Hi, SpongeBob!
No! I gave Mrs. Puff my word, and I shall not betray her.
Not even for a game of badminton with me and Dale here?
OK, maybe just one game.
I'm serving it up, SpongeBob. Ready or not.
You remember how to play this game?
Hmm?
Is this the one where the lowest score wins?
Nice job, SpongeBob. Your serve.
Here it comes!
I'm getting pretty good at this game.
He's about to beat the undefeated Sandy Cheeks
at her own game!
SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob!
SpongeBob! SpongeBob!
SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob!
Well, I had better be off now.
No!
Don't go, SpongeBob. Think about your fans.
If it's for the fans, I guess I can play one game more.
Not today. You're playing with a convicted felon.
We know he's violated his parole somehow.
You might as well confess, Dale.
Hey, man, I haven't done nothing!
Oh, yeah? What have you got in there?
Hmm, Quasi-Gummy Chewy Candy Fish. Is this how you have fun?
By eating your own kind?
Scum like you make me sick!
Cuff him.
It's a shame what happened to Dale.
We were classmates back in Boating School.
He was a good student until he started cutting class.
Ever since then, he's lived the lonely life of a criminal.
C-C-C-Criminal?
I gotta get back to class! I can't be a ditcher!
Almost there.
- Just have to get past the...
Bikini Bottom Hug Fest?
Oh, does someone need a hug?
No! No, no, no! No, please.
Don't fight the love, kid.
Miss, if you don't let me go right now,
I'm going to have to turn into a criminal.
That sounded like a threat!
I am so sorry.
A tar pit?
Oh! I'm sinking!
I guess this is the end, SquarePants.
But like the old saying goes,
"Better to end up sinking into a prehistoric lake of tar
than to turn to a life of crime."
Goodbye, world. Goodbye, Mrs. Puff.
I'll always cherish those last kind words that you said to me.
Make sure you return that bathroom key to my desk
or you're in big trouble, mister.
Oh! I never returned Mrs. Puff's bathroom key!
I can't give up now.
SpongeBob, SpongeBob!
I made it! And a minute before the final bell.
I am home free—
Mrs. Puff! I'm really sorry! Please forgive me!
I don't know what happened. Everything got away from me.
I brought back your bathroom key, though.
I haven't the foggiest idea what you're carrying on about.
But I don't have time for it. I've got my own problems.
Johnny Law finally caught up to me for ditching jury duty.
Let this be a lesson to you, son.
Never ditch.
OK, Mrs. Puff, I'll never ditch again!
That's a good boy, SpongeBob. Good... Again?
What do you mean, "again"?