Whoa.
- Patrick!
What are you doing out here, silly?
I'm waiting for you, so we can play the day away!
Aw, barnacles.
You're wearing that dumb hat again.
Every time you wear that stupid thing,
you're gone for the whole day.
That's because this is my work hat, Patrick.
I have to wear it when I go to work.
Well, why don't you just take it off,
so you don't have to go to work today?
It doesn't work that way, buddy.
I hate that hat!
Fine! Have it your way, hat!
Looks like Squidward has time to play.
- Hey, Squidward! - What?
Oh, no! He's got the hat, too!
Don't worry, Patrick. I'll be back from work at 6:00.
- We can play then. - Oh.
I'll show you, SpongeBob!
I'll get a job! And a hat!
Whoa, whoa! That's enough, lad!
What do you think, I'm made of ketchup?
- Now, run along, boy.
Eh? That sounds like...
a band of roving tourists!
Wait! Come back!
Don't you want to give me your money?
They're a slippery bunch.
What do I got to do to catch them?
Stand around out here all day?
What are you doing there, Patrick?
Standing around out here all day.
How would you like a job, Patrick?
Oh, boy! Give me my hat!
You'll get your hat,
but first you have to entice people into the restaurant
by standing right here and holding this sign.
That's not too tough for you, is it, boy?
Sounds complicated.
But if it gets me a work hat...
- How's this? - Perfect!
You'll be wearing that hat in no time at all.
Oh, boy!
- What's shaking, Mr. K?
Your buddy Patrick.
I hired him to stand out there and hold that sign.
Oh. He is good.
And look. He's about to reel in his first customer.
Can you direct me to the Krusty Krab, please?
Uh...
What does he think he's doing?
They're walking right past him!
Patrick, you need to get their attention, boy.
- OK. - Ouch.
That ain't the kind of attention we need.
Why don't you show a little razzle dazzle?
Maybe give the sign a little twirl or something.
Oh.
Guess we'll keep working on that one. Eh, boy? And listen.
If any tourists stroll by,
why don't you just blow 'em away with a little extra twirl?
Anything for my new hat.
That's enough, Patrick.
I did it! Did you see that, Mr. Krabs?
I saw it.
Do I get my hat now?
What the heck? It pays to advertise.
My hat.
Uh...
What's wrong with him?
What's the matter, Patrick?
I don't know.
Sometimes when I'm nervous, I forget how to stand.
He's nervous.
Look at that guy.
He doesn't know how to stand on his own two feet.
Now, that's the kind of mindlessness
I'd pay money to see.
You mean, cash money?
- Well, heck yeah. - $5.00, please.
All right!
- There's that sound again.
They're loving it!
Patrick, you captured the attention of all these tourists
with your ridiculous flapdoodle.
- I did? - That's right.
I think we finally found a job you're good at,
being an absolute buffoon.
If it's folly you crave,
it can be found exclusively at the Krusty Krab!
- For just $5.00 a head.
It's official.
I hate everyone.
You imbeciles think that's entertainment?
Well, brace yourselves for some true entertainment.
- Patrick? - Yeah?
- Are you OK? - I'm fine.
Oh, oh, that horrible noise!
Let's get out of here!
What the barnacles is going on out here?
I'm entertaining these heathens.
We got all the entertainment we need, thank you very much.
- Where'd he go? - Come on, Patrick. Easy, now.
Right this way.
What in the name of Neptune is going on here?
Patrick had a bloody nose, so I was going to walk him home.
Oh, a bloody nose, eh?
You think I was born yesterday?
He doesn't even have a nose.
Now, get back to work, the all of yas.
I'm not running a happy factory here.
Keep up the good work, Patrick.
You got it, Mr. K.
That guy's still flopping?
Yeah. Amazing, isn't it?
Doesn't that get old?
- Um... - He's got a point.
Yeah. You seen enough?
Yeah, let's get out of here.
Me too. I'm out.
What? Wait. Don't go.
Why are you leaving?
This guy's act is stale. We crave excitement!
OK, OK. You want excitement?
What if I added a box? Huh? Huh?
- Sort of the same, really. - Yeah.
Oh. OK.
Uh, so, what if he flopped from two boxes?
Uh... into a cream pie?
I like pie.
- Say, now. - That I'd pay to see.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, thank you.
OK, boy. Let 'er rip!
I'll be in the back, counting me money.
If the crowd gets bored, add some more boxes.
Whatever.
Hey, Hat Man.
How you feeling after your first day on the job?
I feel like a million bucks.
Patrick! Patrick, are you all right?
Say something.
OK, that's it!
No best friend of mine
is going to suffer permanent brain trauma
just so Mr. Krabs can make a quick buck!
I'm going to go have a talk with him right...
No! P-Please! Don't tell Mr. Krabs!
You don't understand.
For years, people have been telling me, "You're no good."
Now I'm good!
I have a hat to prove it.
I don't want to go back to being No-Hat Patrick.
- OK, buddy.
I understand. Just promise me one thing.
What's that, pal?
- Just be careful, hmm? - Thanks, pal.
I'm worried about Patrick.
I'm not sure his new job is good for him.
See the part-time minimum-wage employee
fall from high atop this tower
into this bucket of spiny sea urchins!
This should be good.
Patrick!
Hi, SpongeBob.
Mr. Krabs, you can't let him do this.
He might get hurt.
Oh, it's OK, boy. He signed a waiver.
Is he ready, Mr. Squidward?
Ready.
OK. Step back, boy.
You wouldn't want to stain your uniform.
Hey, good idea. Hey, Squidward,
could you hold my hat, so it won't get hurt?
Thanks, buddy.
Ready, Patrick?
Ready!
Oh, I can't watch!
Hey! Ew.
Come on, Patrick.
We've got a perfectly good bucket
of spiny sea urchins down here.
I'm trying.
I think I'm stuck!
Stuck? Well, if that don't beat all.
What's the hold up, Mr. Squidward?
Don't look at me. I'm just here to hold his hat.
Patrick, why have you stopped falling?
I don't know, Mr. Krabs.
Well, you better figure it out.
These people paid good money
for a floor show full of pain and humiliation.
Now, make with the codswallop, pal.
- Understand? - Uh-huh.
Don't make me come back here.
Hey, Squidward?
Do you think you could, uh, you know—
You want me to push you off your precarious perch
into a bucket of spiny sea urchins?
Oh, if only you were SpongeBob. OK, I'll do it.
Thanks, Squidward.
Oh, my hat! Gotcha!
Oh, right back where you belong!
Great! We get to see two for the price of one.
I don't think so.
- Fine. - Thank you.
- Look, Squidward, I'm falling!
- Oh, I'm so happy for you. - I figured it out.
It's the hat that makes me fall.
It-It makes me top-heavy.
So, it was your hat that was making you fall the whole time.
I paid to see two guys get maimed.
Yeah, I want a refund.
Sorry. Absolutely no refunds.
Hey, hey. Hold on there.
What's the big idea? Whoa! Whoa! You're crazy!
Mama!
All right. You leave me no choice.
You're giving me a raise?
Not even close.
You're fired.
As long as I'm still standing,
you'll never wear this hat again.
- Patrick, you OK?
Well, I guess it's back to being No-Hat Pat.
It's OK, Patrick.
Not everyone is equipped
to bear the awesome weight of responsibility
that a uniform hat represents.
But you can wear mine any time you want.
- Really? - Sure thing, pal.
Thanks, SpongeBob. You're the best.
Any time, pal. Any time.
Patrick.
Yeah?
What do you want to do today?
I don't know.
I guess we could play something.
- How about a yo... - No.
yo?
- Buried treasure board game? - Nah.
- Mama. - Dollies?
Hmm... nope.
No.
Nope.
Nope. Uh-uh.
No. No.
- How about this? - Hello.
Uh-uh.
Hey, we could play with our Mermaid Man
and Barnacle Boy action figures.
Ew, Barnacle Boy's all chewed up.
And slimy.
Yeah, that'll happen.
Oh, there is just nothing to play with.
There's got to be something we could do.
Hey, what are you doing in my house?
Hi, Squidward. Can you think of anything fun we can do?
Get out!
Yeah, we thought of that one.
I believe this pile belongs to you.
Where we going now, boys?
Aw.
I'm so bored.
There's got to be something we can do!
"It's coming."
Oh...
boy!
It's coming.
"Almost there." We're almost there.
"Here it is."
"Welcome to Bikini Bottom's newest..."
"Toy store"?
- Oh! - Oh, yeah!
Yeah!
Well, we're here.
But where's the toy store?
Well, I guess it's not open yet.
Not... open?
What are you crying about?
We wanted to go to the toy store, but it's not open yet.
Well, it's open now. Look.
See?
- Feel better now? - Mm-hmm.
Then quit your crying and get in there!
I got it.
Patrick. Patrick, get up.
No, thanks. I'm good down here.
Look.
- Oh. - Wow.
Patrick, look at that.
Wow.
Can I help you?
That depends.
Tell me, do you like to...
Oh, no.
Yeah.
Hey, Patrick.
Hey, SpongeBob.
What's with the tutu?
It's not a tutu.
It's a mantu.
You can tell because it has...
extra support.
I got the last one.
Uh-huh.
What a great day.
I hope it never ends.
Never.
Attention, shoppers. The store is now closed.
Please exit immediately.
I don't want to go!
Dad, I want it!
No!
Aw, the store's closing.
We'll have to leave now.
What part of "never" don't you understand?
- Patrick, we have to leave. - I'm not moving.
But they'll just come and kick us out.
Not if we hide.
Hide? Isn't that kind of sneaky?
Uh-huh. It's sneaky, all right.
Really sneaky.
Come on.
Haven't you always wanted to have
a toy store all to yourself?
No. But I do now.
What'll we do first?
We need to find a hiding spot where they'll never find us.
And I know just the place.
- [barks, sniffs, growls] - Come on, boy. Let's go.
The store's empty, so go ahead and lock her up, Frank.
My name is Steve.
Whatever floats your boat, Frank.
The coast is clear.
Push, SpongeBob, push.
Push, man, push!
Oh, oh...
OK, SpongeBob, give me your hand.
That's my boy.
Brace yourself.
Thanks, pal.
Well, we did it.
Yay!
Yay! Oh, this is so awesome.
Nothing can ruin it.
Patrick, is that you?
- What? - I said is that you?
I can't hear you. It's too dark in here.
Don't worry, I'll just use my night vision.
You have night vision?
Yeah.
How long have you had that?
Remember that flashlight I stuck in my ear?
Oh, yeah.
Well, I guess it worked its way into my brain.
Shoot, the batteries are dead.
Oh, it's dark.
It's scary.
Calm down, buddy.
We just need to find the light switch.
But you have to let me down first.
Yeah, right, SpongeBob.
I let you down, we find the light switch
and everything turns out peachy.
Yes.
Look around you, SpongeBob!
- We're surrounded! - By toys?
That... want... to... get us.
Are we gonna hide in here for the rest of our lives?
No.
Are we going to the ladies' room again?
No, we're going to fight back. And we are going to win!
That was fun.
Now let's dress up like fairy princesses.
Ready, Patrick?
Let's get some.
Nothing can stop it!
It was nice knowing you, pal.
I know. I'm an interesting guy.
No, Patrick, don't!
What?
The Toy Barrel is now open for business.
Prepare for more fun than you've ever had.
My eyes!
With Neptune as my witness, may you never experience
the unholy terrors that are inside that store.
Hey, they're open!
I love toys!