1 00:00:13,559 --> 00:00:15,350 GOOD MORNING, DAY. 2 00:00:17,225 --> 00:00:18,058 crack! 3 00:00:18,183 --> 00:00:19,308 OW! 4 00:00:19,433 --> 00:00:21,475 I STUBBED MY TOE. 5 00:00:27,559 --> 00:00:29,141 I STUBBED MY TOE! 6 00:00:36,183 --> 00:00:37,642 rip! 7 00:00:37,767 --> 00:00:40,767 OH, THAT WAS MY FAVORITE SHIRT. 8 00:00:43,975 --> 00:00:46,642 - AND THAT WAS AJA BY EELY DAN. 9 00:00:46,767 --> 00:00:50,975 NEXT UP IS LIONEL FISHY WITH HIS HIT, SAD SONG. 10 00:00:56,475 --> 00:00:59,725 A SO SAD SONG! 11 00:00:59,850 --> 00:01:02,684 - THAT SPONGEBOB IS SUCH A CRYBABY. 12 00:01:02,809 --> 00:01:04,141 LUCKY ME. 13 00:01:04,267 --> 00:01:07,225 I GET TO WORK WITH HIM ALL DAY. 14 00:01:15,559 --> 00:01:17,100 - YOW! - SPONGEBOB, GUESS WHAT. 15 00:01:17,225 --> 00:01:19,058 YEAH, I'LL COME BACK LATER. 16 00:01:22,933 --> 00:01:25,183 - HE WAS A GOOD LITTLE KRABBY PATTY. 17 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:27,642 I DIDN'T KNOW HIM WELL, 18 00:01:27,767 --> 00:01:28,975 BUT IN THE FEW SHORT SECONDS 19 00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:31,392 BETWEEN GRILL AND FLOOR... 20 00:01:31,517 --> 00:01:33,475 I CAME TO LOVE HIM. 21 00:01:37,559 --> 00:01:40,308 IT JUST ISN'T FAIR! 22 00:01:45,933 --> 00:01:49,225 - SPONGEBOB, WILL YOU STOP CRYING? 23 00:01:49,350 --> 00:01:51,267 - BUT THE KRABBY PATTY FELL ON THE FLOOR AND THEN HE— 24 00:01:51,392 --> 00:01:52,975 KRABBY PATTY NOTHING. 25 00:01:53,100 --> 00:01:54,267 - BUT— 26 00:01:54,392 --> 00:01:56,350 KRABBY PATTY NOTHING! 27 00:01:58,684 --> 00:02:01,058 WHAT NOW? 28 00:02:01,183 --> 00:02:03,308 YOU YELLED AT ME. 29 00:02:03,433 --> 00:02:05,475 YOU YELLED AT ME! 30 00:02:07,975 --> 00:02:09,225 ALL RIGHT, LOOK. 31 00:02:09,350 --> 00:02:10,559 SO FAR TODAY, 32 00:02:10,684 --> 00:02:12,559 AND IT'S NOT EVEN 2:00 YET, 33 00:02:12,684 --> 00:02:16,225 YOU HAVE CRIED 43 TIMES. 34 00:02:16,350 --> 00:02:18,100 - AND YOU WROTE THAT NUMBER ON A CHALKBOARD? 35 00:02:18,225 --> 00:02:19,100 YES! 36 00:02:19,225 --> 00:02:21,308 WHY? 37 00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:23,433 I HAVE NO IDEA. 38 00:02:23,559 --> 00:02:25,891 - OH, SQUIDWARD, THERE'S NO WAY I CRY THAT MUCH. 39 00:02:26,016 --> 00:02:27,850 THERE'S NOT THAT MANY TEARS IN MY BRAIN. 40 00:02:27,975 --> 00:02:29,684 AU CONTRAIRE. 41 00:02:29,809 --> 00:02:31,559 WHAT'S THIS? 42 00:02:31,684 --> 00:02:32,517 - IT'S A QUICK MONTAGE OF FLASHBACKS 43 00:02:32,642 --> 00:02:33,933 I'VE EDITED TOGETHER 44 00:02:34,058 --> 00:02:35,392 THAT SHOWS THE HUNDREDS OF TEARS 45 00:02:35,517 --> 00:02:37,225 YOU HAVE CRIED OVER THE YEARS. 46 00:02:54,350 --> 00:02:56,183 STOP. IT BURNS. 47 00:02:56,308 --> 00:02:58,183 THOUSANDS OF TEARS LATER... 48 00:03:00,809 --> 00:03:01,933 WOW. 49 00:03:02,058 --> 00:03:03,350 GUESS I DO CRY A LOT. 50 00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:05,725 I PROMISE I WON'T CRY ANYMORE. 51 00:03:05,850 --> 00:03:08,016 OH, NONSENSE. 52 00:03:08,141 --> 00:03:11,475 I BET YOU CAN'T GO THE REST OF THE DAY WITHOUT CRYING. 53 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,267 EXCUSE ME A MINUTE. 54 00:03:18,559 --> 00:03:20,100 STAR RESIDENCE. 55 00:03:20,225 --> 00:03:21,517 PATRICK SPEAKING. 56 00:03:21,642 --> 00:03:22,600 HEY, PATRICK. 57 00:03:22,725 --> 00:03:23,767 HEY, BUDDY! 58 00:03:23,891 --> 00:03:25,433 IS IT 7:30 ALREADY? 59 00:03:25,559 --> 00:03:26,642 NO, I'M STILL AT WORK. 60 00:03:26,767 --> 00:03:28,891 HOW CAN I HELP YOU? 61 00:03:29,016 --> 00:03:30,475 - DO YOU THINK THAT I COULD GO THE REST OF THE DAY 62 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:32,433 WITHOUT CRYING? 63 00:03:32,559 --> 00:03:34,016 WELL, OF COURSE YOU CAN. 64 00:03:34,141 --> 00:03:36,183 - OKAY, GREAT. THANKS, PATRICK. 65 00:03:36,308 --> 00:03:37,975 SURE. 66 00:03:38,100 --> 00:03:40,058 DID YOU REMEMBER TO PUT THAT PACKAGE OUTSIDE 67 00:03:40,183 --> 00:03:41,933 WHERE I TOLD YOU? 68 00:03:42,058 --> 00:03:43,767 - YEAH, BUT I LEFT IT IN A DIFFERENT SPOT. 69 00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,475 JUST ASK GARY. HE KNOWS WHERE IT IS. 70 00:03:49,058 --> 00:03:51,267 HEY, GOOD ONE, BUDDY. 71 00:03:51,392 --> 00:03:52,975 YOU ALMOST HAD ME THERE. 72 00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:54,308 OKAY. 73 00:03:54,433 --> 00:03:55,850 YEAH, TALK TO YOU LATER. 74 00:03:55,975 --> 00:03:58,141 ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU. 75 00:03:58,267 --> 00:03:59,517 OKAY, IT'S A BET. 76 00:03:59,642 --> 00:04:01,141 FINE. 77 00:04:01,267 --> 00:04:02,684 IF YOU CRY ONE TEAR BEFORE MIDNIGHT, 78 00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:05,517 YOU HAVE TO WASH MY BIKE, 79 00:04:05,642 --> 00:04:07,392 CLEAN OUT MY RAIN GUTTERS, 80 00:04:07,517 --> 00:04:09,392 AND DO ALL MY YARD WORK FOR A YEAR. 81 00:04:09,517 --> 00:04:11,058 SOUNDS FAIR TO ME. 82 00:04:11,183 --> 00:04:12,933 AND IF I MAKE IT TO MIDNIGHT WITHOUT CRYING, 83 00:04:13,058 --> 00:04:14,809 YOU'LL COME TO A SLUMBER PARTY AT MY PLACE, 84 00:04:14,933 --> 00:04:17,058 JUST YOU AND ME. 85 00:04:18,433 --> 00:04:19,308 OOH, WHAT'S A MATTER? 86 00:04:19,433 --> 00:04:20,975 UM, NOTHING. 87 00:04:21,100 --> 00:04:22,517 I JUST THREW UP A LITTLE IN MY MOUTH. 88 00:04:22,642 --> 00:04:24,433 NO NEED TO WORRY, SQUIDDY. 89 00:04:24,559 --> 00:04:25,809 YOU'VE OUTDONE YOURSELF. 90 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:28,891 HE'LL BE CRYING IN TEN MINUTES. 91 00:04:29,016 --> 00:04:29,891 HA! 92 00:04:36,809 --> 00:04:39,016 HA. 93 00:04:39,141 --> 00:04:40,850 - THANKS AGAIN FOR WALKING HOME WITH ME, SQUIDWARD. 94 00:04:40,975 --> 00:04:43,100 - THERE'S A FIRST TIME FOR EVERYTHING. 95 00:04:43,225 --> 00:04:46,183 ALSO I'D LIKE TO WIN THIS BET AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. 96 00:04:48,433 --> 00:04:49,350 I'M NOT GONNA CRY. 97 00:04:49,475 --> 00:04:50,308 I'M NOT GONNA CRY. 98 00:04:50,433 --> 00:04:52,600 I CAN DO THIS. 99 00:04:52,725 --> 00:04:54,767 DO WHAT? 100 00:04:54,891 --> 00:04:56,433 OH, MY. 101 00:04:56,559 --> 00:04:58,267 WHAT A LOVELY SUNSET. 102 00:04:58,392 --> 00:05:00,350 TAKE A LOOK, SPONGEBOB. 103 00:05:01,975 --> 00:05:04,350 ISN'T THAT BEAUTIFUL? 104 00:05:04,475 --> 00:05:07,225 - I'VE NEVER SEEN SUCH A BEAUTIFUL UNDERWATER SUNSET. 105 00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:09,517 - REALLY TUGS AT THE HEARTSTRINGS, DOESN'T IT? 106 00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:10,559 - MM-HMM. 107 00:05:10,684 --> 00:05:11,642 IT... 108 00:05:19,559 --> 00:05:21,559 IS THAT A TEAR I SEE? 109 00:05:24,642 --> 00:05:26,767 OH, WELL, SUNSET'S OVER. 110 00:05:26,891 --> 00:05:27,642 UGH. 111 00:05:30,559 --> 00:05:31,933 - NICE OF YOU TO DROP IN, NEIGHBOR. 112 00:05:32,058 --> 00:05:33,725 - NICE OF YOU TO HAVE ME. I— 113 00:05:33,850 --> 00:05:35,475 OH, LOOK, SPONGEBOB. 114 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:37,850 GARY'S SLEEPING. 115 00:05:40,767 --> 00:05:43,809 AW, HE LOOKS LIKE AN ANGEL. 116 00:05:43,933 --> 00:05:46,600 THAT IS JUST SO ADORABLE. 117 00:05:46,725 --> 00:05:50,058 ALMOST MAKES YOU WANT TO CRY. 118 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,058 YEAH... 119 00:05:51,183 --> 00:05:53,016 NO. 120 00:05:53,141 --> 00:05:54,350 THERE SHALL BE NO TEARS IN THIS HOUSE TONIGHT. 121 00:05:57,975 --> 00:05:59,559 OH, SPONGEBOB? 122 00:05:59,684 --> 00:06:00,975 - YES? - YOUR MAIL'S HERE. 123 00:06:01,100 --> 00:06:03,058 OOH. OH, LOOK. 124 00:06:03,183 --> 00:06:05,684 IT'S A POSTCARD FROM YOUR DEAR MOTHER AND FATHER 125 00:06:05,809 --> 00:06:07,267 SO FAR AWAY. 126 00:06:07,392 --> 00:06:09,183 - MOTHER? FATHER? 127 00:06:09,308 --> 00:06:11,475 - "DEAR SPONGEBOB, WE ARE HAVING A WONDERFUL TIME 128 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:13,267 "IN THE SOUTH SEAS, 129 00:06:13,392 --> 00:06:15,809 AND WE MISS YOU VERY, VERY MUCH." 130 00:06:15,933 --> 00:06:18,141 OH... 131 00:06:18,267 --> 00:06:19,891 MY SUBSCRIPTION TO JELLY FISHING MONTHLY'S EXPIRED. 132 00:06:20,016 --> 00:06:21,267 REMIND ME TO RENEW THAT, WILL YOU, SQUIDWARD? 133 00:06:21,392 --> 00:06:24,850 NO PROBLEM. 134 00:06:24,975 --> 00:06:26,725 - WELCOME BACK TO BIKINI BOTTOM NEWS. 135 00:06:26,850 --> 00:06:28,433 OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT, 136 00:06:28,559 --> 00:06:30,642 A SERIES OF SAD TALES. 137 00:06:30,767 --> 00:06:31,891 OOH, LET'S TURN IT UP. 138 00:06:32,016 --> 00:06:33,684 TRAGEDY IN THE PARK 139 00:06:33,809 --> 00:06:35,308 WHEN A YOUNG SNAIL CAUGHT IN A TREE 140 00:06:35,433 --> 00:06:37,016 ALMOST DIDN'T GET DOWN. 141 00:06:37,141 --> 00:06:38,141 MEOW. 142 00:06:39,475 --> 00:06:40,267 HOWEVER, 143 00:06:40,392 --> 00:06:41,684 HE DID... 144 00:06:41,809 --> 00:06:42,809 GET DOWN. 145 00:06:42,933 --> 00:06:44,267 HOORAY! 146 00:06:44,392 --> 00:06:45,642 COMING UP, 147 00:06:45,767 --> 00:06:47,684 AN INTERVIEW WITH A MANATEE 148 00:06:47,809 --> 00:06:49,517 WHO DIDN'T GET WHAT HE WANTED FOR HIS BIRTHDAY. 149 00:06:49,642 --> 00:06:51,183 OH, NO. 150 00:06:51,308 --> 00:06:52,850 AND FINALLY, SAD NEWS 151 00:06:52,975 --> 00:06:55,433 FOR MERMAID MAN AND BARNACLE BOY FANS. 152 00:06:55,559 --> 00:06:56,600 - WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? 153 00:06:56,725 --> 00:06:58,600 THEY WILL ONLY BE SHOWING 154 00:06:58,725 --> 00:07:00,100 THE MERMAID MAN AND BARNACLE BOY SHOW 155 00:07:00,225 --> 00:07:02,725 SEVEN TIMES A DAY INSTEAD OF EIGHT. 156 00:07:02,850 --> 00:07:04,308 - LET'S WATCH SOMETHING ELSE, SQUIDWARD, OKAY? 157 00:07:04,433 --> 00:07:05,433 FINE! 158 00:07:07,850 --> 00:07:09,058 HEY, DAD. 159 00:07:09,183 --> 00:07:11,058 HOW ABOUT A GAME OF CATCH? 160 00:07:11,183 --> 00:07:12,225 SORRY, SON. 161 00:07:12,350 --> 00:07:13,725 I'M LATE FOR WORK. 162 00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:16,809 OKAY, DAD. 163 00:07:16,933 --> 00:07:19,891 - I GUESS I CAN STAY FOR A FEW THROWS. 164 00:07:20,016 --> 00:07:21,350 I LOVE YOU, DAD. 165 00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:23,850 I LOVE YOU, SON. 166 00:07:25,517 --> 00:07:26,392 zap! 167 00:07:26,517 --> 00:07:27,517 UGH! 168 00:07:31,100 --> 00:07:32,559 YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT THAT TELEVISION— 169 00:07:32,684 --> 00:07:34,392 ROTS THE BRAIN. 170 00:07:34,517 --> 00:07:35,933 - HEY, THANKS FOR THE TV, SPONGEBOB. 171 00:07:36,058 --> 00:07:37,850 I'M GONNA WATCH IT ALL NIGHT. 172 00:07:44,475 --> 00:07:45,975 IT'S GETTING LATE. 173 00:07:46,100 --> 00:07:47,850 I'D BETTER BRING OUT THE BIG GUNS. 174 00:07:47,975 --> 00:07:49,308 OH, SPONGEBOB? 175 00:07:49,433 --> 00:07:50,600 YES, SQUIDWARD? 176 00:07:50,725 --> 00:07:51,725 WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO 177 00:07:51,850 --> 00:07:52,891 A LITTLE MUSIC? 178 00:07:54,100 --> 00:07:55,767 I'D SAY... 179 00:07:55,891 --> 00:07:56,642 I'LL GO AND GET SOME REFRESHMENTS. 180 00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:58,016 DON'T BE LONG. 181 00:07:58,141 --> 00:07:59,517 MY SECRET WEAPON IS WAITING. 182 00:08:01,433 --> 00:08:03,016 - YOU SAID SOMETHING, SQUIDWARD? 183 00:08:03,141 --> 00:08:05,767 - OH, I JUST SAID, "RELAX, AND ENJOY THE SONG". 184 00:08:19,475 --> 00:08:21,684 - THAT'S A REALLY SAD SONG, SQUIDWARD. 185 00:08:21,809 --> 00:08:23,016 - YOU'RE NOT GONNA CRY THOUGH, ARE YOU? 186 00:08:23,141 --> 00:08:24,850 - NO. 187 00:08:27,100 --> 00:08:28,933 - TIME REALLY DOES FLY WHEN YOU'RE HAVING FUN. 188 00:08:29,058 --> 00:08:30,600 WELL, I BETTER START GETTING READY FOR BED. 189 00:08:30,725 --> 00:08:31,850 - UH, SPONGEBOB, NO, NO, NO. 190 00:08:31,975 --> 00:08:32,933 UH, WAIT. 191 00:08:33,058 --> 00:08:34,308 YES, SQUIDWARD? 192 00:08:34,433 --> 00:08:35,433 HOW ABOUT A BEDTIME STORY? 193 00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:38,267 NOW YOU'RE TALKING. 194 00:08:38,392 --> 00:08:39,141 WHATCHA GONNA READ ME, SQUIDWARD? 195 00:08:39,267 --> 00:08:42,016 UM... 196 00:08:42,141 --> 00:08:44,767 HOW ABOUT THE LITTLE ANGLER WHO GOT LOST? 197 00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:46,433 - THAT SOUNDS LIKE A VERY SAD STORY. 198 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:49,058 OH, VERY SAD. 199 00:08:49,183 --> 00:08:50,975 THERE ONCE WAS A LITTLE ANGLER 200 00:08:51,100 --> 00:08:54,225 WHO WAS LITTLE AND SAD. 201 00:08:55,850 --> 00:08:57,850 ONE DAY THE LITTLE SAD ANGLER 202 00:08:57,975 --> 00:09:00,058 WAS WALKING THROUGH THE PARK. 203 00:09:00,183 --> 00:09:01,308 WALKING. 204 00:09:01,433 --> 00:09:03,475 BUT HE WAS SAD. 205 00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:04,725 BECAUSE... 206 00:09:04,850 --> 00:09:06,475 HE WAS LOST. 207 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:09,475 HE WAS LOST AND VERY SAD. 208 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:12,433 AND THEN HE— HE STARTED TO CRY. 209 00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:15,267 HE CRIED AND HE CRIED, 210 00:09:15,392 --> 00:09:16,684 AND HE CRIED EVEN MORE. 211 00:09:16,809 --> 00:09:19,433 AND HE KEPT CRYING AND CRYING 212 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:22,642 AND CRYING AND CRYING AND... 213 00:09:22,767 --> 00:09:25,100 THAT'S RIGHT. YOU CAN DO IT. 214 00:09:25,225 --> 00:09:27,684 - I'M WONDERING IF IT MIGHT NOT BE SO HEALTHY 215 00:09:27,809 --> 00:09:29,767 TO HOLD IN ALL MY TEARS, SQUIDWARD. 216 00:09:29,891 --> 00:09:30,975 - YOU'RE EXACTLY RIGHT, SPONGEBOB. 217 00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:32,225 LET IT ALL OUT. 218 00:09:32,350 --> 00:09:34,141 DON'T FIGHT THE FEEL— 219 00:09:35,392 --> 00:09:37,350 TEN, NINE... 220 00:09:37,475 --> 00:09:38,350 DO IT. DO IT. CRY. 221 00:09:38,475 --> 00:09:40,225 EIGHT, SEVEN, SIX, 222 00:09:40,350 --> 00:09:41,225 FIVE... 223 00:09:41,350 --> 00:09:42,475 COME ON! 224 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:45,141 FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE. 225 00:09:47,267 --> 00:09:49,475 MIDNIGHT. 226 00:09:51,433 --> 00:09:53,183 WELL, SPONGEBOB, 227 00:09:53,308 --> 00:09:55,308 IT LOOKS LIKE YOU WON THE— 228 00:10:04,684 --> 00:10:05,725 WOW. 229 00:10:05,850 --> 00:10:09,141 WHAT A GREAT SHOW. 230 00:10:09,267 --> 00:10:13,225 - WELL, AT LEAST WE'RE STILL TOGETHER, LITTLE ONES. 231 00:10:19,767 --> 00:10:22,267 thud! 232 00:10:22,392 --> 00:10:23,725 MORE POPCORN, SQUIDWARD? 233 00:10:23,850 --> 00:10:24,809 NO, NO. 234 00:10:24,933 --> 00:10:26,392 NO, NO, PLEASE. 235 00:10:26,517 --> 00:10:27,350 DON'T BE SHY NOW. 236 00:10:27,475 --> 00:10:28,933 I MADE EXTRA. 237 00:10:32,517 --> 00:10:33,642 - THAT'S ALL RIGHT. LET IT OUT. 238 00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:35,559 YOU CAN CRY ALL YOU WANT. 239 00:10:35,684 --> 00:10:38,141 YOU'RE AMONG FRIENDS HERE. 240 00:11:04,850 --> 00:11:06,600 - HAVE A GOOD SUMMER VACATION, CLASS. 241 00:11:06,725 --> 00:11:09,850 I'LL SEE YOU ALL NEXT FALL. 242 00:11:09,975 --> 00:11:14,308 WELL, HOPEFULLY NOT ALL OF YOU. 243 00:11:14,433 --> 00:11:15,392 TIME TO VAMOOSE. 244 00:11:15,517 --> 00:11:18,475 OH, MRS. PUFF? 245 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:19,975 WHERE ARE MY KEYS? 246 00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:21,058 MRS. PUFF? 247 00:11:21,183 --> 00:11:22,475 COME ON. 248 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:25,141 I'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU. 249 00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:26,225 - AH-HAH! 250 00:11:26,350 --> 00:11:27,517 MRS. PUFF? 251 00:11:27,642 --> 00:11:28,850 GET AWAY FROM ME. 252 00:11:34,016 --> 00:11:35,850 OH, MRS. PUFF? 253 00:11:38,475 --> 00:11:39,475 I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE. 254 00:11:49,975 --> 00:11:50,891 PHEW. 255 00:11:51,016 --> 00:11:52,016 I LOST HIM. 256 00:11:52,141 --> 00:11:53,016 MRS. PUFF? 257 00:11:54,559 --> 00:11:56,308 CAN I GIVE YOU MY NOTE NOW? 258 00:11:56,433 --> 00:11:57,642 WHY CAN'T YOU TAKE A HINT? 259 00:12:01,225 --> 00:12:02,725 HELP. 260 00:12:02,850 --> 00:12:05,642 - OH, DEAR. OF COURSE I'LL HELP. 261 00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:15,225 smack! 262 00:12:15,350 --> 00:12:18,308 - MRS. PUFF, DON'T FORGET TO READ THE NOTE! 263 00:12:18,433 --> 00:12:20,267 - WHY WON'T HE JUST LE— 264 00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:24,725 WHOA! 265 00:12:24,850 --> 00:12:25,809 crash! 266 00:12:30,308 --> 00:12:31,684 AH! 267 00:12:31,809 --> 00:12:34,016 OH, NO. NOT AGAIN. 268 00:12:34,141 --> 00:12:36,809 IF MY PAROLE OFFICER FINDS OUT, I DON'T STAND A CHANCE. 269 00:12:36,933 --> 00:12:39,684 I'LL BE SENTENCED FOR LIFE THIS TIME. 270 00:12:39,809 --> 00:12:42,933 - HMM, QUITE A CONUNDRUM YOU HAVE HERE. 271 00:12:43,058 --> 00:12:45,975 IT WOULD BE A CRYING SHAME TO A CERTAIN SOMEONE 272 00:12:46,100 --> 00:12:48,809 IF THIS INFORMATION WERE TO LEAK OUT TO THE AUTHORITIES. 273 00:12:48,933 --> 00:12:50,933 - OH, PLEASE, DON'T TELL THE POLICE. 274 00:12:51,058 --> 00:12:53,308 I'LL BE A DEAD MAN IF I GET CAUGHT. 275 00:12:53,433 --> 00:12:54,600 I'LL DO ANYTHING. 276 00:12:54,725 --> 00:12:56,350 IT'S GONNA COST A FORTUNE 277 00:12:56,475 --> 00:12:57,725 TO GET THIS FIXED... 278 00:12:57,850 --> 00:12:59,267 THANKS TO YOU. 279 00:12:59,392 --> 00:13:01,267 OH, GRACIOUS ME. 280 00:13:01,392 --> 00:13:03,267 I DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF CASH. 281 00:13:03,392 --> 00:13:05,100 DON'T WORRY. 282 00:13:05,225 --> 00:13:06,100 I THINK WE CAN WORK SOMETHING OUT. 283 00:13:06,225 --> 00:13:07,767 HUH? 284 00:13:07,891 --> 00:13:09,975 YOU MEAN WE SHOULD GO OUT ON A DATE? 285 00:13:10,100 --> 00:13:11,016 UH... 286 00:13:11,141 --> 00:13:12,642 INTERESTING. 287 00:13:12,767 --> 00:13:14,016 NO, I HAD SOMETHING ELSE IN MIND. 288 00:13:14,141 --> 00:13:15,559 SURPRISE, SPONGEBOB. 289 00:13:15,684 --> 00:13:17,225 YOU HAVE A NEW COWORKER. 290 00:13:17,350 --> 00:13:18,767 MRS. PUFF! 291 00:13:20,809 --> 00:13:21,433 - SHE'LL BE FILLING IN FOR SQUIDWARD 292 00:13:21,559 --> 00:13:22,350 WHILE HE'S... 293 00:13:22,475 --> 00:13:23,392 UH... 294 00:13:23,517 --> 00:13:24,767 ON VACATION. 295 00:13:24,891 --> 00:13:26,433 ISN'T THAT RIGHT, MRS. PUFF? 296 00:13:26,559 --> 00:13:27,933 THAT'S RIGHT. 297 00:13:28,058 --> 00:13:30,308 AND SHE'LL BE WORKING UNPAID 298 00:13:30,433 --> 00:13:33,308 UNTIL HE RETURNS, WON'T SHE? 299 00:13:33,433 --> 00:13:35,642 YEAH. 300 00:13:35,767 --> 00:13:36,891 SQUIDWARD. 301 00:13:37,016 --> 00:13:38,308 I FORGOT TO TELL YOU, 302 00:13:38,433 --> 00:13:39,308 YOU'RE TAKING THE SUMMER OFF. 303 00:13:39,433 --> 00:13:40,141 HAVE A GOOD TIME. 304 00:13:40,267 --> 00:13:41,433 SEE YA. 305 00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:42,975 WHOO, THAT WAS CLOSE. 306 00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:46,433 - IT ALL SOUNDS A BIT MYSTERIOUS TO ME. 307 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:48,016 BUT WHY SHOULD I CARE? 308 00:13:48,141 --> 00:13:50,475 I'M WORKING WITH GOOD OLD MRS. PUFF. 309 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:52,600 SAY, DID YOU GET MY NOTE? 310 00:13:52,725 --> 00:13:54,891 OH, I GOT YOUR NOTE ALL RIGHT. 311 00:13:55,016 --> 00:13:56,475 SO WHAT DO YOU THINK? 312 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:57,850 WHAT DID I THINK? 313 00:13:57,975 --> 00:13:59,933 I THINK IT CAUSED ME TO... 314 00:14:00,058 --> 00:14:04,392 UH, LET'S JUST SAY IT CHANGED MY LIFE. 315 00:14:04,517 --> 00:14:06,475 IT CERTAINLY HAS. 316 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:09,225 NOW SPONGEBOB, WOULD YOU PLEASE SHOW MRS. PUFF HER NEW DUTIES 317 00:14:09,350 --> 00:14:11,559 VIS-A-VIS HER RECENTLY CHANGED LIFE, 318 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:13,267 BECAUSE I SURE AS SNAIL SNOT 319 00:14:13,392 --> 00:14:14,267 CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO DO IT. 320 00:14:14,392 --> 00:14:16,058 OH, BOY. 321 00:14:16,183 --> 00:14:19,225 I GET TO SHOW YOU THE ROPES, MRS. PUFF. 322 00:14:19,350 --> 00:14:22,100 HEY, IT'S KINDA LIKE I'M THE TEACHER. 323 00:14:25,058 --> 00:14:27,475 I'M GONNA BE TEACHING YOU NOW. 324 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,850 PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE. 325 00:14:29,975 --> 00:14:31,559 - SHALL WE START WITH THE IMPORTANCE 326 00:14:31,684 --> 00:14:33,809 OF GOOD KITCHEN HYGIENE? 327 00:14:33,933 --> 00:14:35,767 OR THE UNABRIDGED HISTORY OF THE PATTY? 328 00:14:35,891 --> 00:14:39,767 - WHY DON'T WE JUST START WITH MY BASIC DUTIES? 329 00:14:39,891 --> 00:14:41,600 - EAGER TO GET BEHIND THE WHEEL, EH? 330 00:14:41,725 --> 00:14:43,308 I LIKE IT. 331 00:14:44,809 --> 00:14:46,809 "THIS IS MY REGISTER. 332 00:14:46,933 --> 00:14:48,600 THERE ARE MANY LIKE IT, BUT THIS ONE IS MINE." 333 00:14:48,725 --> 00:14:50,809 - THERE ARE MANY LIKE IT, BUT THIS ONE IS MINE. 334 00:14:50,933 --> 00:14:52,725 NOW, LIKE A SHIP'S RUDDER, 335 00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:54,642 THIS OLD REGISTER IS TEMPERAMENTAL. 336 00:14:54,767 --> 00:14:57,225 SO WHEN YOU HIT THE TOTAL KEY— 337 00:14:57,350 --> 00:14:58,183 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 338 00:14:58,308 --> 00:14:59,517 NOTHING. 339 00:14:59,642 --> 00:15:00,809 YOU'RE NOT TAKING NOTES? 340 00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:03,767 ALWAYS REMEMBER, GOOD GRADES... 341 00:15:03,891 --> 00:15:06,183 ONLY FOLLOW DILIGENT NOTES. 342 00:15:06,308 --> 00:15:07,475 I KNOW, SPONGEBOB. 343 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:08,975 I TAUGHT YOU THAT PHRASE. 344 00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:10,600 DON'T WORRY, MRS. PUFF. 345 00:15:10,725 --> 00:15:13,308 YOU MAY BORROW MY NOTEPAD TODAY. 346 00:15:13,433 --> 00:15:14,350 NOW, WHERE WAS I? 347 00:15:14,475 --> 00:15:15,767 OH, YES. 348 00:15:15,891 --> 00:15:17,642 THE TOTAL KEY IS A BIT STICKY, 349 00:15:17,767 --> 00:15:18,684 SO YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO BE FORCEFUL, 350 00:15:18,809 --> 00:15:20,809 BUT NOT TOO FORCEFUL. 351 00:15:20,933 --> 00:15:22,642 DID YOU GET THAT? 352 00:15:22,767 --> 00:15:23,767 - FORCEFUL, BUT NOT TOO FORCEFUL. 353 00:15:23,891 --> 00:15:25,600 YOU DID! 354 00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:29,642 DILIGENCE LIKE THIS DESERVES A STICKER. 355 00:15:29,767 --> 00:15:32,891 COLLECT TEN, AND YOU'RE ENTITLED TO A "SUPER" STICKER. 356 00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:34,600 WHY DON'T WE WORK ON OUR CUSTOMER SERVICE 357 00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:36,684 WITH A LITTLE ROLE PLAYING? 358 00:15:36,809 --> 00:15:38,600 I'LL BE THE CUSTOMER, AND YOU SHOW ME YOUR BEST 359 00:15:38,725 --> 00:15:40,141 AND FRIENDLIEST SERVICE, HMM? 360 00:15:40,267 --> 00:15:43,016 FINE. 361 00:15:43,141 --> 00:15:44,350 GOOD DAY, M'LADY. 362 00:15:44,475 --> 00:15:46,016 CHARMED, I'M SURE. 363 00:15:46,141 --> 00:15:48,225 FUNNY COSTUME, SPONGEBOB. 364 00:15:48,350 --> 00:15:50,891 - FORGIVE ME, BUT I KNOW NOT OF THIS SPONGEBOB FELLOW. 365 00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:52,975 MY NAME IS DUKE THOMAS FEATHERMUFFIN, 366 00:15:53,100 --> 00:15:54,975 AND I ENTERED YOUR PLACE OF BUSINESS 367 00:15:55,100 --> 00:15:56,642 IN HOPES OF PROCURING LUNCH ON THIS FINE DAY. 368 00:15:56,767 --> 00:15:59,725 OF COURSE, MR. FEATHERMUFFIN. 369 00:15:59,850 --> 00:16:01,433 WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO EAT TODAY? 370 00:16:01,559 --> 00:16:02,891 - psst! MRS. PUFF. 371 00:16:03,016 --> 00:16:05,183 IT'S ME, SPONGEBOB. 372 00:16:05,308 --> 00:16:07,975 I THINK THIS WILL GO SMOOTHER IF YOU JUST REFER TO HIM AS DUKE. 373 00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:09,725 - YOU MEAN TO REFER TO YOU AS DUKE. 374 00:16:09,850 --> 00:16:11,183 OF COURSE. 375 00:16:11,308 --> 00:16:12,475 HOW ELSE WOULD ONE REFER TO ME? 376 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,725 I AM A DUKE, AFTER ALL. 377 00:16:14,850 --> 00:16:16,433 NOW, I SHOULD FANCY A MEAL, IF IT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT WITH YOU. 378 00:16:16,559 --> 00:16:17,600 OKAY, DUKE. 379 00:16:17,725 --> 00:16:19,392 WHAT'LL YOU HAVE? 380 00:16:19,517 --> 00:16:21,933 - I SHALL HAVE BEANS ON TOAST, PLEASE. 381 00:16:22,058 --> 00:16:25,141 - ALL RIGHT, ONE BEANS ON TOAST COMING UP. 382 00:16:25,267 --> 00:16:27,350 - psst! MRS. PUFF, SPONGEBOB AGAIN. 383 00:16:27,475 --> 00:16:29,684 YOU BETTER INFORM THE DUKE THAT WE DON'T SERVE BEANS ON TOAST. 384 00:16:29,809 --> 00:16:30,891 UGH. 385 00:16:31,016 --> 00:16:32,891 THIS IS JUST RIDICULOUS. 386 00:16:33,016 --> 00:16:35,809 WOULD YOU SIMPLY EXPLAIN MY DUTIES, PLEASE? 387 00:16:35,933 --> 00:16:38,684 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING YELLING AT ME CUSTOMERS? 388 00:16:38,809 --> 00:16:41,058 THE DUKE HERE IS ONE OF ME REGULARS. 389 00:16:41,183 --> 00:16:44,183 AND I DON'T NEED TO EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENS 390 00:16:44,308 --> 00:16:47,225 WHEN YOU START LOSING YOUR REGULARITY, DO I? 391 00:16:47,350 --> 00:16:49,267 OH, DEAR. 392 00:16:49,392 --> 00:16:51,725 MESSAGE RECEIVED, MR. KRABS. 393 00:16:51,850 --> 00:16:55,308 - JUST DON'T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN, PUFF. 394 00:16:55,433 --> 00:16:58,100 - WELL, I SEE YOU HAD A LITTLE TROUBLE GETTING IN GEAR THERE, 395 00:16:58,225 --> 00:17:00,183 BUT YOU'LL BE IN THE FAST LANE BEFORE YOU KNOW IT. 396 00:17:01,725 --> 00:17:03,517 AH, HERE COMES ANOTHER CUSTOMER. 397 00:17:03,642 --> 00:17:07,100 LET'S SEE IF YOU CAN APPLY WHAT YOU'VE LEARNED. 398 00:17:07,225 --> 00:17:08,767 - WELCOME TO THE KRUSTY KRAB, SIR. 399 00:17:08,891 --> 00:17:10,559 MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER? 400 00:17:10,684 --> 00:17:11,933 YES! 401 00:17:12,058 --> 00:17:13,725 ONE KRABBY PATTY, PLEASE. 402 00:17:13,850 --> 00:17:15,225 $1, PLEASE. 403 00:17:15,350 --> 00:17:16,475 THANK YOU. 404 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:18,809 GOOD JOB, MRS. PUFF. 405 00:17:18,933 --> 00:17:21,850 NOW, ALL THAT'S LEFT IS TO SUBMIT THE ORDER TO THE COOK. 406 00:17:21,975 --> 00:17:23,850 ONE KRABBY PATTY. 407 00:17:23,975 --> 00:17:25,850 OH, MRS. PUFF. 408 00:17:25,975 --> 00:17:27,225 WHAT? 409 00:17:27,350 --> 00:17:29,183 IT MUST HAVE SLIPPED YOUR MIND 410 00:17:29,308 --> 00:17:30,975 THAT YOU NEED TO SUBMIT THE ORDER IN WRITING AS WELL. 411 00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:32,933 IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO ENSURE MAXIMUM CLARITY. 412 00:17:33,058 --> 00:17:34,183 FINE. 413 00:17:34,308 --> 00:17:36,225 HERE'S YOUR WRITTEN FORM. 414 00:17:36,350 --> 00:17:38,517 ONE KRABBY PATTY. 415 00:17:38,642 --> 00:17:39,559 MRS. PUFF? 416 00:17:39,684 --> 00:17:41,642 WHAT NOW? 417 00:17:41,767 --> 00:17:43,475 - I CAN'T BEGIN COOKING UNTIL THE BELL HAS RUNG. 418 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:44,475 smack! 419 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,684 THANK YOU. 420 00:17:46,809 --> 00:17:48,392 ALTHOUGH A SMIDGE LESS RIGOROUS NEXT TIME, PLEASE. 421 00:17:51,684 --> 00:17:53,225 ORDER UP! 422 00:17:53,350 --> 00:17:54,809 YOU'VE DONE WELL SO FAR, STUDENT. 423 00:17:54,933 --> 00:17:57,141 NOW, WE DELIVER THE ITEM TO THE CUSTOMER. 424 00:17:57,267 --> 00:17:59,809 BE CAUTIOUS, BUT SWIFT. 425 00:17:59,933 --> 00:18:01,642 I WOULDN'T GO THAT WAY IF I WERE YOU. 426 00:18:01,767 --> 00:18:02,850 IT'S FASTER IF YOU GO THIS WAY, MRS. P. 427 00:18:05,684 --> 00:18:06,850 LOOK OUT FOR THE BARREL. 428 00:18:06,975 --> 00:18:07,725 - I'LL GIVE YOU A BAR— 429 00:18:07,850 --> 00:18:09,559 WHOA! 430 00:18:09,684 --> 00:18:12,225 WATCH FOR PEDESTRIANS. 431 00:18:12,350 --> 00:18:13,267 AH! 432 00:18:13,392 --> 00:18:14,850 thud! 433 00:18:17,308 --> 00:18:18,933 POTHOLE! 434 00:18:19,058 --> 00:18:20,850 HEY! 435 00:18:20,975 --> 00:18:24,308 LOOK OUT, MRS. PUFF. 436 00:18:27,141 --> 00:18:28,933 TIME FOR EVASIVE ACTION. 437 00:18:44,141 --> 00:18:44,891 ding! 438 00:18:48,642 --> 00:18:51,225 AND THE PATTY IS UNSCATHED. 439 00:18:51,350 --> 00:18:52,600 WAY TO GO, MRS. PUFF. 440 00:18:52,725 --> 00:18:55,100 YOUR FIRST SATISFIED CUSTOMER. 441 00:18:55,225 --> 00:18:57,225 I WILL HAVE TO DEDUCT POINTS FOR THAT LANDING, THOUGH. 442 00:18:59,183 --> 00:19:00,891 THAT'S IT. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE. 443 00:19:01,016 --> 00:19:02,975 THIS ISN'T WORTH IT. 444 00:19:11,225 --> 00:19:14,684 I WILL NOT BE HUMILIATED ANY LONGER. 445 00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:22,100 DON'T FORGET TO READ THE NOTE. 446 00:19:22,225 --> 00:19:24,975 YOU! 447 00:19:25,100 --> 00:19:28,183 IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU I GOT STUCK IN THIS MESS. 448 00:19:30,183 --> 00:19:32,141 UGH! 449 00:19:32,267 --> 00:19:33,850 HOLD IT RIGHT THERE. 450 00:19:33,975 --> 00:19:35,350 WELL, WELL, WELL. 451 00:19:35,475 --> 00:19:37,517 IF IT AIN'T MRS. PUFF. 452 00:19:37,642 --> 00:19:40,183 I SAW WHAT YOU DID. 453 00:19:40,308 --> 00:19:42,308 UH, YOU DID? 454 00:19:42,433 --> 00:19:43,392 YEAH. 455 00:19:43,517 --> 00:19:44,975 OH, PLEASE. 456 00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:46,809 I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO IT. I SWEAR. 457 00:19:46,933 --> 00:19:47,975 - IT'S TOO LATE FOR SWEARING, PUFF. 458 00:19:48,100 --> 00:19:49,891 THE EVIDENCE IS RIGHT HERE. 459 00:19:50,016 --> 00:19:51,933 YOU LITTERED. 460 00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:54,225 AND NOW YOU'RE GOING TO THE STONY LONESOME. 461 00:19:54,350 --> 00:19:55,725 LITTERED? 462 00:19:57,767 --> 00:20:00,475 YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, OFFICER. 463 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:03,433 YES, I SURE DID LITTER. 464 00:20:03,559 --> 00:20:05,392 THAT'S WHAT I DID. 465 00:20:05,517 --> 00:20:06,433 - YEAH. ALL RIGHT. 466 00:20:06,559 --> 00:20:08,975 YOU'RE UNDER ARREST NOW. 467 00:20:09,100 --> 00:20:11,267 NO PROBLEM, OFFICER. 468 00:20:11,392 --> 00:20:14,725 TIME BY MYSELF IN THE STONY LONESOME IS JUST WHAT I NEED. 469 00:20:14,850 --> 00:20:17,183 - TELL IT TO THE JUDGE, MRS. PUFF. 470 00:20:29,392 --> 00:20:30,392 ONE DAY DOWN. 471 00:20:30,517 --> 00:20:33,850 2,528 TO GO. 472 00:20:33,975 --> 00:20:37,809 THAT'S JUST SHY OF FOUR YEARS WITHOUT SPONGEBOB. 473 00:20:37,933 --> 00:20:41,809 I'M GOING TO ENJOY THIS. 474 00:20:41,933 --> 00:20:43,809 GET UP, PUFF. 475 00:20:43,933 --> 00:20:45,850 THE JUDGE SAYS YOU HAVE TO GO TO TRAFFIC SCHOOL. 476 00:20:49,100 --> 00:20:50,392 OH, WOW. 477 00:20:50,517 --> 00:20:52,891 A DRIVER'S EDUCATION CLASS. 478 00:20:53,016 --> 00:20:56,225 IT'S JUST HOW I MADE A LIVING, EXCEPT WITHOUT... 479 00:20:56,350 --> 00:20:58,183 HIM. 480 00:20:58,308 --> 00:20:59,642 OH, DELIGHTFUL. 481 00:20:59,767 --> 00:21:02,392 GOOD DAY, CLASS. 482 00:21:04,225 --> 00:21:05,600 smack! 483 00:21:05,725 --> 00:21:07,433 I MUST BE HAVING A NIGHTMARE. 484 00:21:07,559 --> 00:21:09,183 WHAT'S HE DOING HERE? 485 00:21:11,141 --> 00:21:13,100 - DIDN'T YOU READ THE NOTE, MRS. PUFF? 486 00:21:13,225 --> 00:21:14,850 HERE, I TAPED IT TOGETHER AND SAVED IT JUST IN CASE. 487 00:21:14,975 --> 00:21:16,392 "DEAR MRS. PUFF. 488 00:21:16,517 --> 00:21:18,725 "I'M FOLLOWING IN YOUR FOOTSTEPS 489 00:21:18,850 --> 00:21:21,809 "AND GOT A JOB AS A DRIVER'S ED TEACHER FOR THE SUMMER. 490 00:21:21,933 --> 00:21:23,600 HEART, SPONGEBOB." 491 00:21:25,891 --> 00:21:27,933 GET ME OUTTA HERE! 492 00:21:29,433 --> 00:21:31,308 UH! OW! OH! 493 00:21:31,433 --> 00:21:34,975 YOW! YOW! AH! 494 00:21:35,100 --> 00:21:38,225 - NOW, LET'S OPEN OUR DRIVER'S ED HANDBOOKS TO CHAPTER ONE. 495 00:21:45,767 --> 00:21:48,350 Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com