SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
- all: ♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪ - READY?
SPONGEBOB
SQUAREPANTS!
- SPONGEBOB, WHAT IS THAT HORRIBLE RACKET
COMING FROM BACK HERE?
- JUST A LITTLE GRILL-SIDE HARMONY.
EVERYONE KNOWS THAT COOKING AND MUSIC GO TOGETHER LIKE
EATING AND LISTENING.
- YOU WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT MUSIC IS IF IT CAME UP
AND HIT YOU IN THE FACE.
- HEY, THAT HAPPENED TO PATRICK ONCE.
HE MUST'VE BEEN LISTENING TO HARD ROCK.
- HE HAD A LUMP ON HIS HEAD— - I DON'T CARE!
- IF YOU WANT TO HEAR WHAT REAL MUSIC SOUNDS LIKE,
THEN LISTEN TO THIS.
- HEY, GIVE IT BACK. I WAS JUST REACHING MY CODA.
- YEAH? WELL, YOUR CODA IS AFFECTING ME QUOTA.
THE SHREW, PIERCING RACKET OF YOUR FISH FLUTE
IS FRIGHTENING AWAY ME MONEY.
FISH FLUTE.
- WELL, I DON'T KNOW. THAT'S WHAT THEY USED TO CALL IT.
- NONE OF YOU SIMPLETONS WOULD RECOGNIZE REAL MUSIC TALENT
IF IT CAME UP AND KICKED YOU IN THE FACE.
- HEY, THAT HAPPENED TO PATRICK ONCE, TOO.
HEY—
- NONE OF YOU KNOW A GREAT MUSICIAN WHEN YOU HEAR HIM.
NONE I SAY. NO ONE OF YOU.
NOT EVEN, EVEN—
OH, THERE'S NOBODY THERE.
HE'S STILL DOING IT, KAREN.
HE'S—KAREN?
WHO'S DOING WHAT NOW?
THE SKINNY ONE.
HE'S BEEN RANTING AND RAVING IN FRONT OF THE KRUSTY KRAB
FOR THE PAST HALF-HOUR.
WAVING HIS ARMS AND JUMPING AROUND LIKE AN ANIMAL.
OH, HE STOPPED NOW.
HE'S JUST BROKEN DOWN ON THE GROUND CRYING.
KAREN, KAREN!
FOR THE FIRST TIME IT'S HIT ME.
- WHAT? THE DOOR ON YOUR WAY OUT?
NO, COMPUTER BRAIN.
THE SKINNY ONE MAY HAVE BEEN THE GATEWAY TO THE SECRET FORMULA
ALL ALONG.
AS A VETERAN EMPLOYEE, HE MUST KNOW THE SECRET FORMULA TOO.
I WARNED YOU AGAINST IT.
TOO LATE!
AHEM.
- WHO SAID THAT? - DOWN HERE.
I AM JUST AN INNOCENT PASSERBY WHO FELT THE NEED
TO STOP AND TELL YOU WHAT A MAGNIFICENT GARDEN YOU HAVE.
- OH, REALLY? - YES.
- WELL, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, MISTER.
I KNOW EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE AND WHY YOU'RE HERE.
YOU DO?
- YOU WILL NOT GET ME TO EAT AT THE CHUM BUCKET.
NO MATTER HOW BIG THE DISCOUNT IS.
- WELL, THAT'S NOT EXACTLY WHY I—
YOU AGAIN!
- I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND ME PAINTING ON YOUR PROPERTY,
BUT THE LIGHT HERE IS SIMPLY TRANSCENDENT THIS TIME OF DAY.
- WHY, YES, IT IS, ISN'T IT?
- YES! IT—
NOT BUYING THAT ONE EITHER, HUH?
NOPE.
HEY, BUDDY!
SQUIDWARD!
FREE CLEANING SERVICE?
CENSUS TAKER.
GOOD DAY, KIND SIR.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY SOME GIL SCOUT COOKIES?
YEOOOW!
PLANKTON, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- THERE'S NOTHING A LITTLE DUCT TAPE
AND SURGICAL TUBING CAN'T ACCOMPLISH.
I KNEW I SHOULD'VE USED PIPE CLEANERS.
HELLO, I'M YOUR LONG LOST RELATIVE.
CAN I HAVE THE SECRET FORMULA?
WELL, THAT'S A FINE WAY TO TREAT A FAMILY MEMBER.
- HI, PLANKTON. NICE DRESS.
OUT OF MY WAY, SPONGE BRAIN.
- I OVERHEARD YOU AND SQUIDWARD PLAYING DOOR SLAM,
AND I WANTED TO SEE IF I COULD GET IN ON THE NEXT ROUND.
DON'T CRY, PLANKTON.
DOOR SLAM'S EASY TO PLAY. HARD TO MASTER.
- NONE OF MY TACTICS ARE MAKING ANY IMPRESSION ON HIM WHATSOEVER.
WELL, LET'S SEE.
IF YOU REALLY WANT TO IMPRESS SQUIDWARD, TRY TALKING TO HIM ABOUT MUSIC. - MUSIC?
YEAH.
ESPECIALLY HIS FAVORITE KIND OF MUSIC.
HIS OWN.
OH, IS THAT RIGHT?
- SON OF A—
NOT AGAIN!
WAIT, DON'T IRRIGATE ME.
I'VE COME TO HEAR YOUR MUSIC.
IT SOOTHES THE PLACE MY SOUL WOULD OCCUPY IF I HAD ONE.
- ARE YOU SURE YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHT SQUID?
- I'VE NEVER BEEN SURE OF ANYTHING.
BUT I AM SURE OF THIS.
PLAY FOR ME.
FILL MY EAR SOCKETS WITH THE STRAINS
OF YOUR SWEET, SWEET MAGIC.
- FINALLY, SOMEBODY ACTUALLY APPRECIATES MY BRILLIANCE.
I WILL PLAY FOR YOU MY TINY CYCLOPS.
I WILL PLAY SUCH THAT NEPTUNE HIMSELF WILL HEAR ME UPON HIS VERY THRONE.
OR WHATEVER CHAIR HE'S SITTING ON. - UH OH. I MEAN, GOODY!
YEEOW!
SWEET MOTHER OF APHRODITE, PLEASE MAKE IT END.
- HEH? HEH?
HOW'RE YOU ENJOYING THE MUSIC SO FAR?
IT'S DELIGHTFUL!
BRAVO! WOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!
ENCORE!
YES!
BRAVO!
WOO-HOO.
AH! MY VERY OWN FAN.
- DID YOU HEAR THAT? - HOW COULD I NOT?
AH!
OH, IT'S TERRIBLE.
BRAVO.
- NO, NO! MAKE IT STOP!
ENCORE, ENCORE, ENCORE.
- I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE ENJOYING THE PERFORMANCE.
ENJOYING IT?
WHY, I'M ENJOYING IT SO MUCH, IT'S MAKING ME WANT TO...
WANT TO SING?
- THAT'S THE WORD I WAS LOOKING FOR.
- A ONE, A TWO. A ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR.
HOORAY!
- THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
SAY, UH, MUSICAL GENIUS?
YES.
- WHEN YOU'RE NOT SHARING YOUR SONGS OF JOY AND SPLENDOR,
ONE MIGHT FIND YOU WORKING A SHIFT
AT THE KRUSTY KRAB, CORRECT?
IT IS AN UNFORTUNATE TRUTH.
AND YOU'VE BEEN WORKING THERE
FOR A PRETTY LONG TIME, HAVEN'T YOU?
THAT'S AN UNDERSTATEMENT.
- WELL, I WAS JUST WONDERING, OH, INCREDIBLY MUSICAL ONE,
WHAT DO THEY PUT IN ONE OF THOSE KRABBY PATTIES ANYWAY?
SECRET-WISE.
OH, I DON'T WORK THE GRILL.
I WORK THE REGISTER.
BUT...
SURELY YOU'VE BEEN NEAR THE GRILL.
YOU MUST HAVE SEEN SOMETHING.
NOPE, HAVEN'T SEEN A THING.
- YOU'VE WORKED IN THE SAME PLACE FOR 20 YEARS
AND YOU'VE NEVER NOTICED THE INGREDIENTS OF THE SOLE ITEM
ON YOUR MENU?
CUT THE COMEDY, OCTOPUS!
I WANT THAT FORMULA AND I WANT IT NOW.
OH, DON'T YOU SEE, SHELDON?
THANKS TO YOU, I'M GETTING BETTER AND BETTER AS A MUSICIAN.
WHAT?
- IT'S BEEN YOUR CONSTANT ENCOURAGEMENT THAT HAS HELPED ME
PROGRESS TO NEW MUSICAL HEIGHTS.
I'M HITTING NOTES I NEVER EVEN KNEW EXISTED.
WE HAVE, OOO!
- MAY DAY! MAY DAY!
IN FACT, THANKS TO YOU,
I'M GOING TO QUIT MY JOB AT THE KRUSTY KRAB
AND BECOME A FULL-TIME MUSICIAN.
- BUT THEN I'LL NEVER GET MY HANDS ON THAT SECRET FORMULA.
UH-OH!
MY PROFESSIONAL GRADE EARPLUGS!
NO!
COME BACK! I NEED YOU.
- AH!
STOP PLAYING THIS INFERNAL PIPE.
YOU'RE KILLING ME.
HEY!
COME BACK!
HI, SQUIDWARD.
I HEARD YOU AND PLANKTON OUT HERE PLAYING DOOR SLAM,
AND I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD— - PLANKTON STOLE MY CLARINET, AND I HAVE TO GET IT BACK.
- HOO! I WANT TO PLAY!
- AH-HA!
OKAY, FISH FLUTE.
TIME TO PLAY A LITTLE AVANT GARDE.
GUARDRAIL, THAT IS.
[evil laughter[
OH!
- OUCH, SQUIDWARD. THIS GAME IS FUN.
- YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME, YOU HEAR?
NEVER!
- WE'VE GOT YOU SURROUNDED. - YOU DO?
- OH. - WE'VE RECEIVED HUNDREDS
OF REPORTS OF AN EXCRUCIATING MUSICAL DISTURBANCE,
AND YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE HOLDING AN INSTRUMENT.
WAIT A MINUTE.
I'VE NEVER SEEN THIS INSTRUMENT BEFORE IN MY LIFE.
HE'S RIGHT, OFFICER.
PLANKTON DOESN'T EVEN PLAY CLAR—
- THERE, THERE, LADDY. JUST LET THE LEGAL SYSTEM RUN ITS COURSE.
- WATCH YOUR HEAD. - NO!
WAIT! PLEASE!
KAREN! HELP!
- OH, YOU WON'T BE NEEDING THIS WHERE YOU'RE GOING.
- BOY, THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE, HUH, SQUIDWARD? HE ALMOST GOT YOUR CLARINET.
ONCE AGAIN, I HATE PEOPLE.
AH, IT'S A GREAT DAY FOR THE ART WORLD.
FAMOUS ART CRITIC, FREDERICK T. NITPICK
WILL BE CRITIQUING MY LATEST MASTERPIECE.
I LOVE HEARING MYSELF TALK.
- HI, SQUID— WHOA, I LOVE YOUR HAT.
- DON'T TOUCH IT! AND IT'S NOT A HAT.
- IT'S A BERET. - A BERET?
OOOH. WHERE CAN I GET ONE?
SORRY, SPONGEBOB.
BERETS ARE ONLY WORN BY TRUE ARTISTS, LIKE MOI.
YOU'RE AN ARTIST?
YES, I'M AN ARTIST.
WHAT ARE YOU TWO BUBBLEHEADS DOING ANYWAY?
WE'RE MAKING ARTS AND CRAFTS.
I'VE BEEN LEARNING THE FINE ART OF BASKET WEAVING.
I MADE THIS ONE USING DESIGNS OF ME AND MY BEST FRIENDS.
AND I ALSO MADE THIS CUTE LITTLE SCALLOP HOUSE.
AND I MADE THIS WALLET.
AND I CROCHETED MONEY TO GO IN IT.
- SO, YOU'VE BEEN COUNTERFEITING CURRENCY?
AND WHAT HAS DOORKNOB NUMBER TWO BEEN UP TO?
I'VE BEEN MAKING BASKETS, TOO.
DARN!
THIS HAMMER IS DEFECTIVE.
- DO YOU WANT TO MAKE CRAFTS, TOO? - CRAFTS?
THIS ISN'T SUMMER CAMP. I AM A TRUE ARTISTE.
MAN!
I'LL NEVER MAKE ART LIKE YOU AND SQUIDWARD.
- HEY, DON'T BE SAD. YOU CAN BE AN ARTIST, TOO.
I'LL FIND SOMETHING THAT WILL TAP INTO YOUR PARTICULAR
ARTISTIC SKILL SET.
NOW LET ME SEE. OH, THIS WILL BE PERFECT!
START WITH A ROCK.
A WHAT?
A LITTLE GLUE.
UH.
- TAKE ON A COUPLE OF GOOGLY EYES.
- WHOA! SLOW DOWN, SPONGEBOB.
- AND PRESTO! A ROCK WITH GOOGLY EYES.
- WHOA! I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING!
- NOW YOU TRY. - I'M SCARED.
- YOU CAN DO THIS. - I SHALL MAKE THE ATTEMPT.
- PRIVACY, PLEASE. - SORRY.
- I DID IT! - YEAH!
- LET'S TAKE A LOOK. - BEHOLD...
- AH! OH!
OOH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL!
I'M AN ARTIST!
HOORAY!
HATE.
WHY, HELLO, MR. TENTACLES.
I'M FREDERICK T. NITPICK, WORLD FAMOUS ART CRITIC.
- THIS IS YOUR ARTWORK, I PRESUME. - OH, IT CERTAINLY IS.
THIS PIECE REPRESENTS MY STRUGGLE
TO REVEAL MY GENIUS TO A MORONIC WORLD.
WITNESS THE VENUS DE SQUIDWARD!
STUNNING, ISN'T IT?
- MY CONSIDERED OPINION IS... EW!
I'LL HAVE TO CONFISCATE YOUR ARTIST BERET.
- WHAT? NO!
NO, YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
- SORRY, BUT I'M LOOKING FOR A REAL ARTIST.
- I'M AN ARTIST! HOORAY!
AN ARTIST, EH?
- WHAT? I—NO, COME BACK.
- NOW, WHICH ONE OF YOU TWO IS THE ARTISTE?
- WE BOTH ARE. IT'S LOTS OF FUN.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO MAKE SOMETHING, TOO?
I'M A CRITIC.
I DON'T MAKE THINGS. I JUDGE THINGS.
I'M A JUDGER. FOR INSTANCE, I JUDGE YOUR WORK.
LAME.
DON'T JUDGE ME.
HOLY GUACAMOLE FRIJOLES.
IT'S SO, SO PRIMITIVE AND NAIVE.
- YOU'RE A GENIUS. - IS THAT GOOD?
- I'LL GIVE YOU 500 BUCKS FOR IT. AND THIS HAT.
HEY!
- YOU ARE A MASTER ARTIST, MY FRIEND.
- YOU CAN'T GIVE THAT DUNDERHEAD THE ARTIST HAT.
- WHO'S THE CRITIC HERE? - WOW!
DID YOU HEAR THAT, SQUIDWARD?
PATRICK IS AN ARTIST.
OH!
SELLING ONE LOUSY PIECE DOESN'T MAKE YOU AN ARTIST.
- HOW MANY LOUSY PIECES HAVE YOU SOLD, SQUIDWARD?
WELL, ABOUT UM... UM...
WELL, I BET HE WON'T SELL
ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE RIDICULOUS TRINKETS.
- HEY THERE. I NOTICED YOUR HAT.
- ARE YOU AN ARTIST? - I SURE AM.
DO YOU HAVE ANY ART?
I HAVE A REAL CRAVING FOR CREATIVITY.
- UH. OKAY.
- ART! - THANKS, MAN.
HERE'S 50 BUCKS.
- I'LL BET HE NEVER SELLS ANOTHER.
- HEY, TED. WHERE'D YOU GET THAT ART?
- FROM THAT PINK GENIUS OVER THERE.
- I WANT TO BUY ONE. - ME TOO.
I ALSO.
- I'LL BET— - SQUIDWARD I THINK WE SHOULD
HAVE A LITTLE TALK ABOUT YOUR GAMBLING PROBLEM.
HMM.
I ACTUALLY WANT TO GO TO WORK TODAY.
WHOA!
I'M ALMOST LATE TO BE EARLY FOR WORK.
SEE YOU LATER, PATRICK.
- UH, SO LONG MY DEAR, EARNEST, YET, UNTALENTED FRIEND.
- ONE FOR YOU. AND ONE FOR YOU.
AND ONE... UH...
UH, I'VE RUN OUT OF ROCKS TO PUT GOOGLY EYES ON.
- I'VE RUN OUT OF ROCKS. - GOT ANYTHING ELSE?
THE ARTIST NEEDS ALONE TIME.
HE'S SO ECCENTRIC.
- I'M ALL OUT OF ROCKS. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO NOW?
THAT WAS MY THING.
OH!
TARTER SAUCE.
THAT STINKS, TOO.
- THE ARTIST NEEDS A LUNCH BREAK.
- OH! NOT YOU AGAIN.
MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER?
HMM...
I'M THINKING ABOUT HAVING A KRABBY PATTY.
ONE KRABBY PATTY.
- BUT I WONDER IF THAT MIGHT BE TOO PREDICTABLE.
THEN WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I DON'T KNOW.
I'M NOT FEELING INSPIRED AT THE MOMENT.
HIYA, PATRICK.
ORDERING UP A DELICIOUS KRABBY PATTY?
- MAYBE. I DON'T KNOW.
I'M IN A CREATIVE SLUMP.
- OH, PATRICK, THAT'S TERRIBLE. - JUST ORDER ALREADY!
OKAY.
I WANT NEW IDEAS TO SATISFY
A PUBLIC HUNGER FOR MY GOOGLY GOODS.
- OFF THE MENU. CHOOSE SOMETHING OFF THE MENU.
WE DON'T SERVE ARTISTIC ADVICE HERE.
THEN WHY IS IT ON THE MENU?
GET BACK TO WORK, SQUIDWARD.
- IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, THIS IS NOT AN ARTIST'S HAT.
OH, YOU CAN BORROW MINE.
BEAUTIFUL.
- MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE, MR. PATRICK.
OUR ARTISTIC CONSULTANT WILL BE RIGHT WITH YOU.
THIS IS MR. TENTACLES.
HE'LL BE HANDLING ALL YOUR ARTISTIC ADVICE NEEDS.
- MM-HMM.
PLEASURE.
- HERE'S YOUR KRABBY PATTY. SHALL I PUT IT ON YOUR TAB?
- OH, YEAH. KEEP IT OPEN.
WE MIGHT BE HERE ALL NIGHT.
LET ME JUST SAY, RIGHT UP FRONT, I'M A FAN.
I'M EXCITED TO LEARN FROM A MASTER.
MY CAREER AND SELF-WORTH ARE IN YOUR HANDS.
A LOT IS RIDING ON THIS. OKAY...
- ADVISE.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST CONCENTRATE ON YOUR PATTY?
- WHAT? AH! OF COURSE!
IT'S SO OBVIOUS NOW. HOW DID I NOT SEE IT EARLIER?
SQUIDWARD'S A GENIUS.
I KNOW NOW WHAT I MUST DO!
BRILLIANT.
I'VE NEVER SEEN SUCH AN EXAMPLE OF RAW CREATIVITY.
THIS WILL TURN THE ART WORLD ON ITS HEAD.
I HEREBY DECLARE THIS THE NEXT BIG THING!
THE NEXT BIG THING...
THING.
- YOU DID IT, PATRICK. YOU FOUND YOUR INSPIRATION.
- THEN I'M GONNA NEED MORE OF THOSE PATTY THINGIES. - YOU GOT IT, BUDDY.
HUH?
OOOH! MONEY!
MONEY, MONEY, MONEY, MONEY, MONEY...
WHAT THE...
HUH?
SPONGEBOB! PATRICK!
WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS?
IT'S MY ART.
I BUY KRABBY PATTIES FOR $3, AND I SELL THEM FOR 50.
HA AND HA.
WHY'S HE SO MAD, SQUIDWARD?
I WAS JUST FOLLOWING YOUR ADVICE.
WHAT?
IT WAS YOUR IDEA, HUH?
- HERE'S OUR NEW BATCH OF PIPING HOT KRABBY PATTY CANVASES.
- GREAT, SPONGEBOB. THAT'LL BE 50 BUCKS.
- IT'S SO INEXPENSIVE. - AND HERE'S YOUR PATTY.
ONE MORE ART PATTY, MR. STAR.
- IT'S SUCH AN HONOR TO MEET YOU.
- I CAN ONLY IMAGINE. APPRENTICE!
MAKE ANOTHER OF MY MASTERPIECES, GOOD MAN.
IF YOU WORK REAL HARD, YOU MAY BE AN ARTIST TOO SOMEDAY.
- HMM. PROBABLY NOT.
IT NEEDS MORE GLITTER.