1 00:00:22,010 --> 00:00:24,301 MERRY CHRISTMAS, KIDS. 2 00:00:24,343 --> 00:00:25,885 I BET YOU'RE WONDERING WHY OL' PATCHY 3 00:00:25,927 --> 00:00:27,468 HAS THIS MAIL TRUCK. 4 00:00:27,510 --> 00:00:29,010 WELL, THIS YEAR I WANTED 5 00:00:29,052 --> 00:00:31,969 TO BE ABSOLUTELY SURE SANTA GOT ME LETTER. 6 00:00:32,010 --> 00:00:34,927 SO I GAVE MR. MAILMAN THE DAY OFF. 7 00:00:36,635 --> 00:00:38,927 - DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW TO GET TO THE NORTH POLE? 8 00:00:38,969 --> 00:00:40,927 - OH, POTTY, YOU SILLY PARROT. 9 00:00:40,969 --> 00:00:43,301 EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT THE DIRECTIONS TO THE NORTH POLE 10 00:00:43,343 --> 00:00:45,593 ARE RIGHT IN THE LYRICS OF THE SONG, JINGLE BELLS. 11 00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:54,135 OKAY, SO WE'RE LOOKING FOR SOME FIELDS THEN? 12 00:00:54,177 --> 00:00:56,927 - NO, PATCHY, THE DIRECTIONS TO THE NORTH POLE 13 00:00:56,969 --> 00:00:59,010 ARE IN THE SONG, THERE GOES SANTA CLAUS. 14 00:01:04,385 --> 00:01:06,052 SCURVY BRAIN. 15 00:01:06,094 --> 00:01:08,385 - YEAH, WELL, WE AIN'T TURNING TILL WE SEE SOME FIELDS. 16 00:01:08,426 --> 00:01:10,219 - LOOK OUT, THERE'S A FORK IN THE ROAD. 17 00:01:10,260 --> 00:01:13,385 I DON'T SEE NO FORK. 18 00:01:13,426 --> 00:01:15,343 AAH! 19 00:01:19,343 --> 00:01:21,843 AAH! 20 00:01:21,885 --> 00:01:24,010 WHILE WE WAIT FOR THE TRUCK TO STOP SPINNING, 21 00:01:24,052 --> 00:01:27,135 LET'S SEE WHAT SPONGEBOB IS UP TO THIS CHRISTMAS. 22 00:01:27,177 --> 00:01:28,969 READY FOR CHRISTMAS, KIDS? 23 00:01:29,010 --> 00:01:30,802 AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN. 24 00:01:30,843 --> 00:01:32,385 I CAN'T HEAR YOU! 25 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,385 AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN! 26 00:03:15,843 --> 00:03:17,426 HI, SQUIDWARD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TODAY? 27 00:03:21,677 --> 00:03:23,551 TO GO AWAY! 28 00:03:23,593 --> 00:03:26,593 OKAY. 29 00:03:35,551 --> 00:03:37,426 OOH, WHAT'S THAT? 30 00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:39,635 IT'S A TRAP. 31 00:03:39,677 --> 00:03:41,635 A TRAP FOR SANTA. 32 00:03:41,677 --> 00:03:44,426 - OOH, BAITED WITH CHRISTMAS TREATS. 33 00:03:59,969 --> 00:04:03,135 HEY, A COOKIE! 34 00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:30,677 MERRY CHRISTMAS, SANDY. 35 00:04:30,718 --> 00:04:33,426 - MERRY CHRISTMAS, SPONGEBOB. 36 00:04:37,843 --> 00:04:39,052 HI, MR. KRABS. 37 00:04:39,094 --> 00:04:40,927 ARE YOU READY FOR CHRISTMAS? 38 00:04:40,969 --> 00:04:43,135 - WHY, CHRISTMAS IS ME FAVORITE TIME OF THE YEAR. 39 00:04:43,177 --> 00:04:46,385 AFTER ALL, 'TIS THE SEASON OF GETTING. 40 00:04:46,426 --> 00:04:48,510 - DON'T YOU MEAN THE SEASON OF GIVING? 41 00:04:48,551 --> 00:04:49,885 EXACTLY. 42 00:04:49,927 --> 00:04:52,468 THE MORE YOU GIVE, THE MORE I GET. 43 00:05:20,010 --> 00:05:22,177 - MAYBE YOU WOULD GET A REAL PRESENT FROM SANTA 44 00:05:22,219 --> 00:05:24,593 IF YOU WEREN'T THE BIGGEST JERK IN BIKINI BOTTOM. 45 00:05:24,635 --> 00:05:27,135 - I'M WAY AHEAD OF YOU, KAREN. 46 00:05:27,177 --> 00:05:29,343 THERE IS ONE ELEMENT IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE 47 00:05:29,385 --> 00:05:31,177 THAT CAN TURN EVEN THE NICEST SAP 48 00:05:31,219 --> 00:05:33,677 INTO THE BIGGEST JERK THEY CAN BE. 49 00:05:33,718 --> 00:05:36,843 AND I, PLANKTON, HAVE DISCOVERED IT. 50 00:05:36,885 --> 00:05:40,551 BEHOLD, JERKTONIUM. 51 00:05:40,593 --> 00:05:42,635 I'LL GIVE EVERYONE IN BIKINI BOTTOM 52 00:05:42,677 --> 00:05:45,635 A PRESENT OF THE MOST INNOCENT OF ALL HOLIDAY GOODIES, 53 00:05:45,677 --> 00:05:47,177 THE FRUITCAKE. 54 00:05:47,219 --> 00:05:49,052 AND EACH AND EVERY SLICE 55 00:05:49,094 --> 00:05:51,510 WILL BE LACED WITH JERKTONIUM. 56 00:05:51,551 --> 00:05:53,885 ONCE INGESTED, NO ONE CAN HELP BECOMING 57 00:05:53,927 --> 00:05:56,885 THE BIGGEST, CREEPIEST, MEANEST JERK EVER. 58 00:05:56,927 --> 00:05:59,343 AND SANTA WILL REALIZE THAT SHELDON J. PLANKTON 59 00:05:59,385 --> 00:06:01,343 ISN'T SO BAD AFTER ALL. 60 00:06:01,385 --> 00:06:05,468 AND THEN I'LL FINALLY GET WHAT I REALLY WANT FOR CHRISTMAS, 61 00:06:05,510 --> 00:06:08,177 THE KRABBY PATTY SECRET FORMULA. 62 00:06:12,927 --> 00:06:15,094 AND NOW FOR THE MAIN INGREDIENT, 63 00:06:15,135 --> 00:06:18,052 JERKTONIUM. 64 00:06:22,718 --> 00:06:26,385 OKAY, JERKTONIUM, DO YOUR STUFF. 65 00:06:28,135 --> 00:06:30,551 IT IS COMPLETE. 66 00:06:37,052 --> 00:06:39,301 THE JERKMAKER 9000 67 00:06:39,343 --> 00:06:42,551 WILL MAKE DOLING OUT TAINTED FRUITCAKE A BREEZE. 68 00:06:42,593 --> 00:06:44,718 NOW, WHO'S GONNA BE MY FIRST VICTIM? 69 00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:47,177 - HEY, PLANKTON, WHAT YOU GOT THERE? 70 00:06:47,219 --> 00:06:49,052 HEY! 71 00:06:49,094 --> 00:06:51,010 IS THAT A FRUITCAKE DISPENSER? 72 00:06:51,052 --> 00:06:52,551 YOU DON'T SUPPOSE I COULD HAVE A PIECE, DO YOU? 73 00:06:54,426 --> 00:06:55,760 SURE THING, FRUITCAKE. 74 00:06:55,802 --> 00:06:57,677 HERE YOU GO. 75 00:06:57,718 --> 00:06:59,635 HOT FROM THE OVEN AND FULL OF LOVIN'. 76 00:06:59,677 --> 00:07:00,969 OOH. 77 00:07:01,010 --> 00:07:02,219 OH, HOT! HOT! HOT! 78 00:07:02,260 --> 00:07:04,385 AHH. 79 00:07:04,426 --> 00:07:06,885 MMM. WOW, THIS IS GREAT. 80 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:09,385 SO HOW DO YOU FEEL? 81 00:07:09,426 --> 00:07:10,677 - KIND OF CRANKY? - NO. 82 00:07:10,718 --> 00:07:13,010 - SORT OF SURLY? - MM-MM. 83 00:07:13,052 --> 00:07:14,760 - MAYBE JUST A LITTLE BIT JERKY? 84 00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:16,135 NO. 85 00:07:16,177 --> 00:07:17,718 I FEEL JUST LIKE THIS CAKE TASTES, 86 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:18,885 ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS. 87 00:07:18,927 --> 00:07:20,551 HMM. 88 00:07:20,593 --> 00:07:24,843 HE MUST HAVE GOTTEN A PIECE WITHOUT JERKTONIUM. 89 00:07:24,885 --> 00:07:26,135 HERE, TRY SOME MORE. 90 00:07:26,177 --> 00:07:29,385 - DON'T MIND IF I DO. MMM. 91 00:07:29,426 --> 00:07:30,677 HOW'S YOUR DANDER? 92 00:07:30,718 --> 00:07:32,385 - IS IT UP? - NO. 93 00:07:32,426 --> 00:07:34,510 HOW COULD I POSSIBLY BE ANGRY WHEN MY TASTE BUDS 94 00:07:34,551 --> 00:07:36,094 ARE SWIMMING IN CHRISTMAS CHEER? 95 00:07:36,135 --> 00:07:37,301 OH, BOY. 96 00:07:37,343 --> 00:07:39,219 HERE COMES SOME MORE. 97 00:07:44,468 --> 00:07:46,802 HAVE SOME MORE! 98 00:07:46,843 --> 00:07:48,385 HAVE A WHOLE LOAD! 99 00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:51,593 HAVE A BAKER'S DOZEN. 100 00:07:51,635 --> 00:07:55,052 - WELL? - WELL— 101 00:07:55,094 --> 00:07:57,343 I THINK EVERYONE SHOULD TASTE YOUR AMAZING FRUITCAKE. 102 00:07:57,385 --> 00:07:59,094 MM, YOU KNOW WHAT? 103 00:07:59,135 --> 00:08:03,094 KNOCK YOURSELF OUT. 104 00:08:03,135 --> 00:08:06,052 STUPID HUNK OF JUNK-TONIUM. 105 00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:09,843 MY GIFT TO BIKINI BOTTOM. BOY, OH, BOY. 106 00:08:12,385 --> 00:08:14,094 HELLO, FELLOW REVELERS. 107 00:08:14,135 --> 00:08:15,426 WOULD YOU LIKE A CHRISTMAS TREAT? 108 00:08:15,468 --> 00:08:17,177 WHY SURE, SPONGEBOB. 109 00:08:17,219 --> 00:08:19,969 - YEAH, WHO DOESN'T LIKE TREATS? 110 00:08:22,551 --> 00:08:23,969 - NOTHING LOOSENS UP THE OLD PIPES 111 00:08:24,010 --> 00:08:26,635 LIKE SOME FRUITCAKE. DIG IN. 112 00:08:26,677 --> 00:08:28,260 - IT'S LIKE A PRESENT FOR MY MOUTH. 113 00:08:28,301 --> 00:08:31,426 I KNEW YOU'D LIKE IT. 114 00:08:34,177 --> 00:08:37,635 - HEY, DID WE COME HERE TO SING OR EAT FANCY CAKE? 115 00:08:37,677 --> 00:08:39,343 WHOA, CALM DOWN, BILL. 116 00:08:39,385 --> 00:08:41,219 WHAT DO YOU WANNA SING? 117 00:08:41,260 --> 00:08:43,177 - WELL, I WANNA SING THE ONLY CHRISTMAS SONG THAT MATTERS 118 00:08:43,219 --> 00:08:44,593 AND THAT'S JINGLE BELLS. 119 00:08:44,635 --> 00:08:47,593 FROM THE TOP. A ONE AND A TWO AND— 120 00:08:47,635 --> 00:08:49,802 - NO! HOLD YOUR HOLLY! 121 00:08:49,843 --> 00:08:51,551 WE'RE SINGING THE BEST CHRISTMAS SONG EVER, 122 00:08:51,593 --> 00:08:52,927 AND THAT'S SILVER BELLS. 123 00:08:52,969 --> 00:08:54,843 - WRONG BELLS, BUDDY. - HEY! 124 00:08:54,885 --> 00:08:58,385 I WANNA SING "RANDOLPH, THE RED-NOSED SEAHORSE." 125 00:08:58,426 --> 00:09:00,718 - OH, WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND THAT SONG? 126 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:03,343 - IT'S GREAT TO SEE PEOPLE SO PASSIONATE ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS. 127 00:09:04,969 --> 00:09:06,468 WHAT'S ALL THE RACKET? 128 00:09:06,510 --> 00:09:08,885 - WHAT DO YOU KNOW? 129 00:09:08,927 --> 00:09:12,010 THE JERKTONIUM SEEMS TO WORK ON THESE JERKS. 130 00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:16,510 VERY INTERESTING. 131 00:09:16,551 --> 00:09:18,843 - OH, BOY, A CHRISTMAS PARADE. 132 00:09:21,135 --> 00:09:24,802 THE PERFECT OCCASION TO SPREAD SOME MOUTHWATERING JOY. 133 00:09:31,551 --> 00:09:33,010 YAY! 134 00:10:07,426 --> 00:10:11,510 - THIS JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER AND BETTER. 135 00:10:11,551 --> 00:10:14,094 - HO, HO, HO. SO, LITTLE BOY, 136 00:10:14,135 --> 00:10:16,426 WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE FOR CHRISTMAS? 137 00:10:16,468 --> 00:10:22,135 - I WANT A SLED AND A TRUCK AND A BIKE AND A TRAIN. 138 00:10:22,177 --> 00:10:25,301 - HI, SANTA. HAVE SOME FRUITCAKE. 139 00:10:25,343 --> 00:10:27,010 - AND WATER PISTOL. - OOH. 140 00:10:27,052 --> 00:10:31,385 - AND A HELICOPTER. - HO, HO, HO. 141 00:10:31,426 --> 00:10:33,593 - OH! - WELL, WHY DON'T YOU 142 00:10:33,635 --> 00:10:36,760 GET A JOB AND BUY ALL THAT JUNK YOURSELF? 143 00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:38,426 AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, TRY BRUSHING YOUR TEETH, 144 00:10:38,468 --> 00:10:40,802 - YOU LITTLE— - HAVE SOME FRUITCAKE. 145 00:10:40,843 --> 00:10:45,177 THANKS. 146 00:10:45,219 --> 00:10:47,718 THAT'S IT. I'M OUT OF HERE. 147 00:10:52,010 --> 00:10:53,718 - OOH! - WEE! 148 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:57,760 OH, YEAH, AND I WANT A TRAMPOLINE. 149 00:10:57,802 --> 00:10:59,760 SUCCESS! 150 00:10:59,802 --> 00:11:03,468 SOON ALL THE BIKINI BOTTOMITES WILL BE JERKS. 151 00:11:03,510 --> 00:11:05,177 NOW I JUST NEED TO FIGURE OUT 152 00:11:05,219 --> 00:11:07,885 WHAT TO DO ABOUT OL' SPONGEBOY. 153 00:11:07,927 --> 00:11:11,468 - ONCE AGAIN, YOUR MASTER PLAN IS FATALLY FLAWED. 154 00:11:11,510 --> 00:11:14,802 IT SEEMS THAT SPONGEBOB'S INNOCENT LOVE OF THE HOLIDAY 155 00:11:14,843 --> 00:11:17,343 SHIELDS HIS HEART FROM THE EFFECTS OF JERKTONIUM. 156 00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:18,510 THAT TICKLES. 157 00:11:18,551 --> 00:11:19,885 DRAT! 158 00:11:19,927 --> 00:11:21,593 THAT SQUARE HEAD'S GONNA THROW 159 00:11:21,635 --> 00:11:24,635 MY WHOLE NAUGHTY-TO-NICE CURVE RIGHT OFF. 160 00:11:24,677 --> 00:11:29,177 I GUESS IT'S TIME TO INTRODUCE PLAN "B". 161 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:35,551 PLAN "B", MEET KAREN. 162 00:11:35,593 --> 00:11:38,426 NOW GO, MY AUTOMATED AGENT OF NAUGHTINESS. 163 00:11:38,468 --> 00:11:41,343 GO AND DESTROY SPONGEBOB'S GOOD NAME. 164 00:11:44,885 --> 00:11:46,802 HUH? OH, YEAH. 165 00:11:52,219 --> 00:11:55,510 - I AM READY. I AM READY. 166 00:11:55,551 --> 00:11:57,010 I AM READY. 167 00:11:57,052 --> 00:11:59,718 READY TO DESTROY CHRISTMAS. 168 00:12:09,885 --> 00:12:11,927 - WHAT'S GOING ON OUT HERE? 169 00:12:11,969 --> 00:12:13,760 OH, IT'S JUST YOU, SPONGEBOB. 170 00:12:16,094 --> 00:12:17,635 AAH! 171 00:12:17,677 --> 00:12:18,760 HMM. 172 00:12:20,843 --> 00:12:25,677 - OH, SPONGEBOB, YOU'VE BEEN A BAD, BAD TOY. 173 00:12:34,219 --> 00:12:35,802 - I CAN'T BELIEVE WE SURVIVED 174 00:12:35,843 --> 00:12:38,677 THAT HORRIFYING CAR ACCIDENT WITHOUT A SCRATCH. 175 00:12:38,718 --> 00:12:40,927 WHOA! OH! 176 00:12:40,969 --> 00:12:42,260 OH, HERE'S THE PROBLEM. 177 00:12:42,301 --> 00:12:44,718 OH, THAT'S NOT GOOD. 178 00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:46,260 FLAT TIRE, HUH? 179 00:12:46,301 --> 00:12:47,927 LOOKS AS SAD AS AN EMPTY BAG OF BEEF. 180 00:12:47,969 --> 00:12:50,718 IT'S COLD UP HERE. 181 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:52,802 WHY DON'T YOU KIDS AT HOME GO MAKE 182 00:12:52,843 --> 00:12:55,969 A NICE HOT CUP OF COCOA WHILE POTTY BUILDS ME A FIRE? 183 00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,635 OH, HELLO, KIDDIES. 184 00:12:59,677 --> 00:13:00,843 IT'S SO COLD. 185 00:13:00,885 --> 00:13:01,969 ME EYE PATCH CRACKED. 186 00:13:03,343 --> 00:13:05,802 THERE HASN'T BEEN ANY FOOD OR WATER, 187 00:13:05,843 --> 00:13:09,052 FOOD, OR FOOD FOR OVER 20 MINUTES. 188 00:13:10,635 --> 00:13:12,969 BOY, I COULD SURE GO FOR SOME BUFFALO WINGS 189 00:13:13,010 --> 00:13:14,718 RIGHT ABOUT NOW. 190 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:17,426 SOUNDS GOOD, EH, POTTY? 191 00:13:19,802 --> 00:13:22,052 WITH A SIDE OF BLUE CHEESE DRESSING. 192 00:13:22,094 --> 00:13:23,677 ARGH. 193 00:13:25,343 --> 00:13:26,551 - AAH, PATCH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 194 00:13:26,593 --> 00:13:27,969 I'M SORRY, POTTY. 195 00:13:28,010 --> 00:13:29,260 I DON'T KNOW WHAT GOT INTO ME. 196 00:13:29,301 --> 00:13:30,969 I'M JUST SO HUNGRY. 197 00:13:31,010 --> 00:13:32,426 IT'S OKAY, PATCHY. 198 00:13:32,468 --> 00:13:34,468 I CAN'T STAY MAD AT YOU. 199 00:13:34,510 --> 00:13:36,219 - OH, HEY— 200 00:13:38,426 --> 00:13:41,135 WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT, BIRD? 201 00:13:41,177 --> 00:13:43,551 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 202 00:13:49,094 --> 00:13:50,177 MERRY CHRISTMAS, FELLAS. 203 00:13:50,219 --> 00:13:52,760 AH, GO STUFF A STOCKING. 204 00:13:52,802 --> 00:13:55,510 GEE, THAT WASN'T VERY NICE. 205 00:13:55,551 --> 00:13:57,718 SEASON'S GREETINGS, MR. KRABS. 206 00:13:57,760 --> 00:13:59,052 WHAT? 207 00:13:59,094 --> 00:14:00,426 WELL, YOU GOT SOME NERVE, SPONGEBOB. 208 00:14:00,468 --> 00:14:02,969 THIS IS COMING OUT OF YOUR SALARY. 209 00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:05,135 WHAT'S THAT ALL ABOUT? 210 00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:06,969 HEY, PATRICK. WHAT YA UP TO? 211 00:14:07,010 --> 00:14:10,219 - I THINK IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS, SPONGEBOB. 212 00:14:10,260 --> 00:14:11,718 I'M EATING FRUITCAKE 213 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:13,969 AND SETTING A TIGER TRAP FOR SANTA! 214 00:14:14,010 --> 00:14:16,094 NOW, IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'M KIND OF BUSY RIGHT NOW. 215 00:14:16,135 --> 00:14:17,760 YEESH, OKAY. 216 00:14:17,802 --> 00:14:19,177 YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A JERK ABOUT IT. 217 00:14:19,219 --> 00:14:20,969 EVERYBODY'S ON EDGE TODAY. 218 00:14:21,010 --> 00:14:22,718 MUST BE THE HOLIDAY JITTERS. 219 00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:24,593 NOSEY BODY. 220 00:14:24,635 --> 00:14:26,301 AAH! 221 00:14:27,551 --> 00:14:29,969 YAY, IT WORKS! 222 00:14:30,010 --> 00:14:32,510 OH, HELLO, BIG STRIPED SHRIMP. 223 00:14:32,551 --> 00:14:35,219 OH, NO! 224 00:14:39,885 --> 00:14:41,718 AHH, CHRISTMAS EVE, 225 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:44,301 WHEN ALL OF BIKINI BOTTOM IS FILLED WITH GOODWILL. 226 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,760 MERRY CHRISTMAS, FRANKIE. 227 00:14:47,802 --> 00:14:50,843 - A MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU TOO, JOHNNY. 228 00:14:52,677 --> 00:14:54,343 MORE LIKE BAD WILL. 229 00:14:54,385 --> 00:14:56,426 GOSH, IF PEOPLE DON'T START ACTING NICER, 230 00:14:56,468 --> 00:14:58,135 SANTA'S GONNA FLY RIGHT PAST BIKINI BOTTOM 231 00:14:58,177 --> 00:14:59,551 THIS CHRISTMAS EVE. 232 00:14:59,593 --> 00:15:01,177 I'M GONNA NEED SOME HELP. 233 00:15:03,593 --> 00:15:05,177 SQUIDWARD! 234 00:15:05,219 --> 00:15:07,135 - I'M NOT HOME. - OH, GOSH. 235 00:15:07,177 --> 00:15:08,385 WHAT DO I DO NOW? 236 00:15:08,426 --> 00:15:10,135 - WHY DON'T YOU GO BOTHER SANDY? 237 00:15:10,177 --> 00:15:11,677 GOOD IDEA, SQUIDWARD. 238 00:15:11,718 --> 00:15:14,510 I'LL HAVE TO THANK YOU WHEN YOU GET HOME. 239 00:15:18,927 --> 00:15:22,885 I SAID I'M NOT HOME. 240 00:15:22,927 --> 00:15:26,677 SPONGEBOB, GIVE ME BACK MY DOOR. 241 00:15:31,260 --> 00:15:32,843 - SANDY, SANDY, I NEED YOUR HELP. 242 00:15:32,885 --> 00:15:34,301 IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE, AND EVERYONE 243 00:15:34,343 --> 00:15:36,301 IN BIKINI BOTTOM ARE ACTING LIKE JERKS. 244 00:15:36,343 --> 00:15:37,843 YOU GOTTA HELP ME FIND OUT WHY. 245 00:15:42,010 --> 00:15:43,718 - WHY SHOULD I HELP ALL THEM JERKS? 246 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:45,135 - BECAUSE THOSE JERKS DON'T CARE 247 00:15:45,177 --> 00:15:46,635 ABOUT CHRISTMAS ANYMORE, SANDY. 248 00:15:46,677 --> 00:15:48,677 - IT'S A PROBLEM. - PROBLEM? 249 00:15:48,718 --> 00:15:50,510 MY ONLY PROBLEM IS I'M OUT OF FRUITCAKE. 250 00:15:50,551 --> 00:15:54,301 ONLY THING I GOT LEFT TO EAT ARE BORING OLD NUTS. 251 00:15:54,343 --> 00:15:56,635 - OH, THE PROBLEM ISN'T THE FRUITCAKE. 252 00:15:56,677 --> 00:15:58,760 THE PROBLEM IS THAT EVERYONE, INCLUDING YOU, 253 00:15:58,802 --> 00:16:00,260 IS ACTING LIKE A JERK. 254 00:16:00,301 --> 00:16:02,551 OH, I'LL HAVE TO SOLVE THIS ON MY OWN. 255 00:16:02,593 --> 00:16:03,551 WHOA! 256 00:16:06,343 --> 00:16:07,927 DAG NABBIT, SPONGEBOB. 257 00:16:07,969 --> 00:16:10,385 YOU GOT FRUITCAKE IN MY CHRISTMAS MAGIC ANALYZER. 258 00:16:10,426 --> 00:16:12,219 WELL, I'LL BE HORNSWOGGLED. 259 00:16:12,260 --> 00:16:16,593 MY ANALYZER'S FOUND SOMETHING IN THE FRUITCAKE. 260 00:16:16,635 --> 00:16:18,177 THIS IS TERRIBLE. 261 00:16:18,219 --> 00:16:19,760 WHAT IS IT, SANDY? 262 00:16:19,802 --> 00:16:21,927 - THE FRUITCAKE IS CONTAMINATED WITH JERKTONIUM. 263 00:16:21,969 --> 00:16:23,885 NO WONDER I'VE BEEN AS ORNERY AS A SIDEWINDER 264 00:16:23,927 --> 00:16:25,635 ON A HOT DRIVEWAY. 265 00:16:25,677 --> 00:16:28,177 JERKTONIUM IS THE ORNIEST ELEMENT OF THEM ALL, 266 00:16:28,219 --> 00:16:29,969 AND YOUR FRUITCAKE IS FULL OF IT. 267 00:16:30,010 --> 00:16:31,468 WHERE'D YOU GET THAT FRUITCAKE ANYWAY? 268 00:16:31,510 --> 00:16:33,052 - FROM PLANKTON. HE BAKED IT. 269 00:16:33,094 --> 00:16:34,551 - YOU TOOK FOOD FROM PLANKTON 270 00:16:34,593 --> 00:16:36,551 AND FED IT TO EVERYONE IN TOWN? 271 00:16:36,593 --> 00:16:38,052 - UH-HUH. - YOU'RE AN IDIOT. 272 00:16:38,094 --> 00:16:39,718 - UH-HUH. 273 00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:42,343 - NO WONDER EVERYONE IN TOWN IS A BIG OL' MEANIE. 274 00:16:42,385 --> 00:16:44,343 - NO! I'VE EATEN TONS OF THAT FRUITCAKE. 275 00:16:44,385 --> 00:16:46,343 I MUST BE THE BIGGEST JERK IN TOWN. 276 00:16:46,385 --> 00:16:48,385 HMM, YOU DON'T ACT JERKY. 277 00:16:48,426 --> 00:16:51,177 FOR SOME REASON, IT'S NOT AFFECTING YOU. 278 00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:53,885 IT MUST BE A COMBINATION OF YOUR TINY BRAIN 279 00:16:53,927 --> 00:16:55,343 AND PURE HEART. 280 00:16:55,385 --> 00:16:57,177 YOU'RE IMMUNE TO JERKTONIAN, SPONGEBOB. 281 00:16:57,219 --> 00:16:58,969 BUT THE REST OF US WILL NEED AN ANTIDOTE. 282 00:16:59,010 --> 00:17:01,969 I'LL SET THE ANALYZER TO CALCULATE THE FORMULA. 283 00:17:04,843 --> 00:17:07,135 WHY, THIS FORMULA FOR THE ANTIDOTE 284 00:17:07,177 --> 00:17:08,510 DON'T MAKE NO SENSE AT ALL. 285 00:17:08,551 --> 00:17:11,301 - MM, THAT'S NO FORMULA. THAT'S A SONG. 286 00:17:16,260 --> 00:17:19,177 SANDY, THE SONG IS THE ANTIDOTE. 287 00:17:23,219 --> 00:17:25,802 - OH, YEAH, WELL, YOUR FINS ARE FAT. 288 00:17:25,843 --> 00:17:28,094 SAYS YOU. 289 00:17:28,135 --> 00:17:31,301 AHOY, EVERYBODY. 290 00:18:25,468 --> 00:18:27,468 IT'S CHRISTMAS! 291 00:19:22,010 --> 00:19:23,593 - CONGRATULATIONS, SPONGEBOB. 292 00:19:23,635 --> 00:19:24,969 YOUR SONG WORKED. 293 00:19:25,010 --> 00:19:26,510 - AND NOT A MOMENT TOO SOON. 294 00:19:26,551 --> 00:19:28,135 SANTA SHOULD BE HERE ANY MINUTE. 295 00:19:28,177 --> 00:19:29,301 YOU AIN'T KIDDING. 296 00:19:29,343 --> 00:19:30,718 HERE HE COMES NOW. 297 00:19:37,468 --> 00:19:39,593 - OH, BOY. SANTA, YOU MADE IT. 298 00:19:39,635 --> 00:19:40,802 WHOA, HO, HO, HO. 299 00:19:40,843 --> 00:19:43,260 COOL YOUR JETS THERE, SON. 300 00:19:43,301 --> 00:19:45,885 I'M AFRAID I'M THE BEARER OF BAD TIDINGS. 301 00:19:45,927 --> 00:19:47,593 - OH, NO. - OH, YES. 302 00:19:47,635 --> 00:19:50,802 IT SEEMS YOU'RE ALL ON MY NAUGHTY LIST THIS YEAR. 303 00:19:50,843 --> 00:19:53,052 - NAUGHTY LIST? - NO BUTS ABOUT IT. 304 00:19:53,094 --> 00:19:55,094 YOU'VE ALL BEEN A BUNCH OF JERKS. 305 00:19:55,135 --> 00:19:56,468 - BUT— - BUT NOTHING. 306 00:19:56,510 --> 00:19:57,760 COAL FOR EVERYONE... 307 00:19:59,135 --> 00:20:00,551 EXCEPT PLANKTON. 308 00:20:00,593 --> 00:20:02,052 WHAT? 309 00:20:02,094 --> 00:20:03,885 - I'M JUST AS SURPRISED AS YOU. 310 00:20:03,927 --> 00:20:05,219 BUT COMPARED TO THE REST OF YOU, 311 00:20:05,260 --> 00:20:06,843 HE'S BEEN A SAINT. 312 00:20:06,885 --> 00:20:09,260 HERE YOU GO, SHELDON. 313 00:20:09,301 --> 00:20:11,843 I BELIEVE THIS IS WHAT YOU ASKED FOR. 314 00:20:11,885 --> 00:20:13,468 ME SECRET FORMULA? 315 00:20:13,510 --> 00:20:14,802 HOW DID YOU GET THAT? 316 00:20:14,843 --> 00:20:17,052 I HAVE MY WAYS. 317 00:20:17,094 --> 00:20:20,177 - UM, DAD. - HUH? 318 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,593 GET OUT OF ME POCKET, YOU FOUL GOBLIN. 319 00:20:22,635 --> 00:20:26,010 - BUT—BUT—BUT—BUT— BUT—BUT— 320 00:20:26,052 --> 00:20:27,343 BUT, SANTA, YOU'VE GOT IT ALL WRONG. 321 00:20:27,385 --> 00:20:29,094 - ON THE CONTRARY, SPONGEBOB. 322 00:20:29,135 --> 00:20:31,385 YOU'RE THE WORST OF ALL. 323 00:20:31,426 --> 00:20:33,010 AAH! 324 00:20:33,052 --> 00:20:35,426 - WHY, THERE YOU GO RIGHT NOW, WREAKING HAVOC. 325 00:20:39,802 --> 00:20:42,927 - UH-OH. 326 00:20:42,969 --> 00:20:45,551 - I AM READY TO DESTROY CHRISTMAS. 327 00:20:48,094 --> 00:20:49,760 DESTROY SANTA. 328 00:20:49,802 --> 00:20:53,426 - YOU WANT SANTA, YOU GOTTA GET THROUGH ME. 329 00:20:53,468 --> 00:20:55,385 OKEYDOKEY. 330 00:20:55,426 --> 00:20:56,718 OH, MY. 331 00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:57,969 IS THAT ALL YOU GOT? 332 00:21:02,468 --> 00:21:04,219 AAH! 333 00:21:06,927 --> 00:21:08,885 I'M OUTTA HERE. 334 00:21:15,385 --> 00:21:18,510 YOU DO REALIZE THIS COUNTS AS NAUGHTY? 335 00:21:18,551 --> 00:21:20,760 - YOU PUT THAT JOLLY ELF DOWN, 336 00:21:20,802 --> 00:21:23,510 YOU BIG TIN IMPOSTER. 337 00:21:28,010 --> 00:21:33,052 HOT FROM THE OVEN, FULL OF LOVIN'. 338 00:21:36,385 --> 00:21:39,010 HURRY UP, SANTA, HOP ON. 339 00:21:42,510 --> 00:21:44,677 - THANKS AGAIN FOR SAVING MY KEISTER. 340 00:21:44,718 --> 00:21:46,010 OH, IT WAS NOTHING. 341 00:21:46,052 --> 00:21:48,802 - YOU'RE CLEARLY A VERY GOOD LAD, 342 00:21:48,843 --> 00:21:52,593 UNLIKE THE OWNER OF THAT WIND-UP MONSTROSITY. 343 00:21:52,635 --> 00:21:54,426 WHAT HAVE YOU GOT THERE? 344 00:21:54,468 --> 00:21:57,593 "IF FOUND, PLEASE RETURN TO THE CHUM BUCKET." 345 00:21:57,635 --> 00:21:59,843 PLANKTON! 346 00:21:59,885 --> 00:22:02,135 - UH-OH. 347 00:22:02,177 --> 00:22:03,593 HAND IT OVER, SHELDON. 348 00:22:03,635 --> 00:22:07,843 DON'T MAKE IT ANY WORSE. 349 00:22:07,885 --> 00:22:09,219 OKAY, BOYS. 350 00:22:09,260 --> 00:22:11,219 LET'S GIVE PLANKTON WHAT HE DESERVES. 351 00:22:11,260 --> 00:22:15,219 AAH! 352 00:22:15,260 --> 00:22:17,677 SO LONG, KIDDIES. 353 00:22:17,718 --> 00:22:19,635 - BYE, SANTA! - HO, HO, HO, HO, HO. 354 00:22:19,677 --> 00:22:21,969 SEE YOU NEXT YEAR. 355 00:22:22,010 --> 00:22:23,343 - HEY, HAS ANYONE SEEN PATRICK? 356 00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:27,385 GOTCHA! 357 00:22:30,385 --> 00:22:32,760 SANTA'S WORKSHOP? 358 00:22:32,802 --> 00:22:35,635 I'M HERE, SANTA! I'M HERE! 359 00:22:35,677 --> 00:22:36,885 I'M NOT GOING IN THERE. 360 00:22:36,927 --> 00:22:39,635 SANTA. 361 00:22:45,177 --> 00:22:47,135 THERE'S ONLY ONE THING I WANTS FOR CHRISTMAS, 362 00:22:47,177 --> 00:22:50,343 AND IT'S TO MEET ME HERO, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS. 363 00:22:54,301 --> 00:22:57,010 ARGH? 364 00:22:57,052 --> 00:22:58,551 AHH! 365 00:22:58,593 --> 00:22:59,760 - LET GO! 366 00:22:59,802 --> 00:23:01,635 NO, NO! 367 00:23:01,677 --> 00:23:03,385 - I THINK STEALING A MAIL TRUCK 368 00:23:03,426 --> 00:23:06,135 DEFINITELY COUNTS AS NAUGHTY. 369 00:23:06,177 --> 00:23:07,677 WOULDN'T YOU SAY, POTTY? 370 00:23:07,718 --> 00:23:10,426 I SURE WOULD, SANTA. 371 00:23:12,551 --> 00:23:15,551 MERRY CHRISTMAS.