1 00:00:17,666 --> 00:00:18,199 Aah. 2 00:00:18,201 --> 00:00:23,171 Wow, 20 minutes in the bath is probably enough. 3 00:00:24,707 --> 00:00:29,010 Aah, another day... 4 00:00:29,012 --> 00:00:31,646 Another day. 5 00:00:34,551 --> 00:00:38,186 Whoa! Oh, doh, ow, oh, ow, aah! 6 00:00:40,090 --> 00:00:42,290 Ow, whoa, oof, ow! 7 00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:45,660 Ready for work. 8 00:00:45,662 --> 00:00:48,263 Oh, morning, Squidward! I— 9 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:53,101 Oh! Not ready for work! 10 00:00:53,103 --> 00:00:56,738 Doh, oof, ow, ow, ooh! 11 00:00:56,740 --> 00:00:58,139 Whatever. 12 00:00:58,141 --> 00:01:00,875 - Thanks for waiting, Squidward. - I wasn't waiting. 13 00:01:00,877 --> 00:01:04,312 I was in such a hurry I almost forgot my pants. 14 00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:06,681 - Yes, I saw that. - I guess I was in a panic. 15 00:01:06,683 --> 00:01:08,650 I mean, I can't believe we're running so late for work, 16 00:01:08,652 --> 00:01:10,251 can you? Huh, Squidward? Can you believe it? 17 00:01:10,253 --> 00:01:11,152 Are you panicking too? 18 00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:13,655 Late for work, late for work, we're running late for work, 19 00:01:13,657 --> 00:01:14,222 right? 20 00:01:14,224 --> 00:01:16,991 Right. We're going to be there 15 minutes early. 21 00:01:16,993 --> 00:01:19,694 I know! Only 15 minutes early? 22 00:01:19,696 --> 00:01:23,264 Maybe we should take a shortcut. 23 00:01:23,266 --> 00:01:25,900 Squidward, what are you doing? 24 00:01:31,073 --> 00:01:33,808 - Ugh... - SpongeBob, look. 25 00:01:33,810 --> 00:01:38,179 We're walking in a straight line. 26 00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:38,980 I don't follow. 27 00:01:38,982 --> 00:01:43,351 A straight line is the shortest distance between any two points. 28 00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:45,853 Speak English, brainiac. 29 00:01:45,855 --> 00:01:49,757 Well, see, you have point A, where you start, 30 00:01:49,759 --> 00:01:54,162 and then there's point, uh, point, uh... 31 00:01:54,164 --> 00:01:58,866 I don't even know what I'm talking about. 32 00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:01,769 Mmm, strawberry. 33 00:02:04,306 --> 00:02:04,939 Tick! 34 00:02:04,941 --> 00:02:08,876 Oh no! Now we're only going to be 14 minutes early for work. 35 00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:11,346 Oh, there's got to be a shortcut around here somewhere. 36 00:02:11,348 --> 00:02:15,183 Oh, for the last time. Straight line, point A. 37 00:02:15,185 --> 00:02:16,818 There's no shortcut. 38 00:02:16,820 --> 00:02:19,354 There is always a shortcut. 39 00:02:19,356 --> 00:02:23,191 What moron told you that? 40 00:02:23,193 --> 00:02:25,693 There's always a shortcut. 41 00:02:25,695 --> 00:02:26,227 Ah. 42 00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:28,396 Squidward, I am going to find that shortcut. 43 00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:34,001 Look, the Krusty Krab is right at the end of the block. 44 00:02:34,003 --> 00:02:34,769 Yoo hoo! 45 00:02:34,771 --> 00:02:36,037 You're not going to come with me? 46 00:02:36,039 --> 00:02:39,774 No, SpongeBob. I'm just going to struggle through 47 00:02:39,776 --> 00:02:42,076 the rest of this walk alone. 48 00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:44,712 Well, I guess this is where we part ways. 49 00:02:44,714 --> 00:02:47,348 But I can't wait to see your face when you get to work 50 00:02:47,350 --> 00:02:49,016 and I'm already there. 51 00:02:49,018 --> 00:02:52,320 That's the face! That's the look! 52 00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:11,339 - Huh? - Straight line. 53 00:03:11,341 --> 00:03:15,410 Point A to point B. You're still not getting it. 54 00:03:15,412 --> 00:03:19,313 Oh, tartar sauce. Maybe I should have zagged when I zigged. 55 00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:29,924 There, that's better. 56 00:03:31,127 --> 00:03:32,126 Oh. 57 00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:35,329 Now this is what I call a real great shortcut. 58 00:03:35,331 --> 00:03:38,132 Now all I have to do is remember my wilderness training 59 00:03:38,134 --> 00:03:39,801 so I don't get lost. 60 00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:43,371 The first rule of wilderness training is map out your course 61 00:03:43,373 --> 00:03:47,208 by taking note of local landmarks. 62 00:03:47,210 --> 00:03:51,479 Local landmarks. 63 00:03:53,916 --> 00:03:54,882 Ah-hah! 64 00:03:54,884 --> 00:03:59,954 Right at this large, unusual shell. 65 00:03:59,956 --> 00:04:02,423 Right at this abandoned sofa. 66 00:04:02,425 --> 00:04:06,761 And jog left at the broken fire hydrant. 67 00:04:08,298 --> 00:04:10,364 There it is. The Krusty Krab. 68 00:04:10,366 --> 00:04:14,735 Ooh! 69 00:04:27,349 --> 00:04:28,516 Aah. 70 00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:30,785 Well, look at this. Lazin' about. 71 00:04:30,787 --> 00:04:33,921 Can I get you anything else? Another pillow maybe? 72 00:04:33,923 --> 00:04:35,523 A cappuccino machine? 73 00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:37,158 No, thanks, I got one. 74 00:04:40,263 --> 00:04:43,898 Perfect. No customers, no SpongeBob. 75 00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:49,070 Oh, for kelp's sake. You're a lost cause. 76 00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:57,178 The Krabby Krust? 77 00:04:57,813 --> 00:04:59,313 Is that the name of a restaurant? 78 00:04:59,315 --> 00:05:00,815 No, it's a typo. 79 00:05:00,817 --> 00:05:01,782 Could you perhaps tell me 80 00:05:01,784 --> 00:05:03,784 how to get to the Krusty Krab from here? 81 00:05:03,786 --> 00:05:05,987 - Never heard of it. - Oh, you should try it. 82 00:05:05,989 --> 00:05:09,390 It's the best place to eat in all of Bikini Bottom. 83 00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:10,358 Here, take these coupons. 84 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:14,996 Thanks. I'm going to go there right now. 85 00:05:14,998 --> 00:05:18,099 I thought you didn't know where the Krusty Krab was. 86 00:05:18,101 --> 00:05:20,201 Oh, what do I do now? 87 00:05:22,472 --> 00:05:25,039 Remember your landmarks. 88 00:05:25,041 --> 00:05:29,243 Sandy's wilderness tips are always on the money. 89 00:05:30,812 --> 00:05:34,815 Okay, let's see. I came from... 90 00:05:34,817 --> 00:05:37,251 No, I came... 91 00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:39,387 I'm lost! 92 00:05:40,189 --> 00:05:42,189 Hey, there's one of my landmarks. 93 00:05:42,191 --> 00:05:45,092 The broken fire hydrant. Hello, hydrant. 94 00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:49,597 I'm going to call you Heidi. Heidi the hydrant. 95 00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:54,068 So many broken fire hydrants. What do I do now, Heidi? 96 00:05:54,070 --> 00:05:58,272 If only I could telephone Squidward, he'd help me out. 97 00:05:58,274 --> 00:06:03,110 Hey, that thing looks kind of like a phone. 98 00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:04,412 Wow, this is weird. 99 00:06:04,414 --> 00:06:09,350 It's like a phone, but you put money in it. 100 00:06:12,322 --> 00:06:15,189 My last dime. 101 00:06:15,191 --> 00:06:17,258 I hope this works. 102 00:06:19,195 --> 00:06:22,263 Krusty Krab, may I reluctantly help you? 103 00:06:22,265 --> 00:06:26,100 It's me, Squidward. SpongeBob. I'm calling from a payphone. 104 00:06:26,102 --> 00:06:29,036 You don't say. How's that shortcut of yours? 105 00:06:29,038 --> 00:06:32,173 Not good. I think I made a wrong turn at the abandoned sofa. 106 00:06:32,175 --> 00:06:34,408 All there is around here are broken fire hydrants. 107 00:06:34,410 --> 00:06:35,242 What should I do? 108 00:06:35,244 --> 00:06:37,111 If you'd like to continue this call, 109 00:06:37,113 --> 00:06:40,214 - please insert another dime. - I don't have a dime. 110 00:06:40,216 --> 00:06:42,216 Operator, please, please, can you tell me where I am? 111 00:06:42,218 --> 00:06:46,587 If you'd like to know where you are, please insert another dime. 112 00:06:46,589 --> 00:06:49,223 Hold on! 113 00:06:54,163 --> 00:06:56,430 Two nickels? I need a dime. 114 00:06:56,432 --> 00:06:58,933 Oh, I'm never going to get to work. 115 00:06:58,935 --> 00:06:59,734 What are you doing? 116 00:06:59,736 --> 00:07:01,302 Looking for a dime in this abandoned sofa. 117 00:07:01,304 --> 00:07:05,473 This is our abandoned sofa, pal. 118 00:07:06,141 --> 00:07:09,477 Whatcha doin' there, drinking soda? 119 00:07:09,479 --> 00:07:10,311 What's it to ya? 120 00:07:10,313 --> 00:07:11,979 Isn't a little early to be hitting 121 00:07:11,981 --> 00:07:15,916 the high-fructose corn syrup? 122 00:07:15,918 --> 00:07:16,584 Hey, listen. 123 00:07:16,586 --> 00:07:19,954 I know this gigantic soda isn't good for me, 124 00:07:19,956 --> 00:07:22,089 but sometimes it gives me the kick I need 125 00:07:22,091 --> 00:07:26,594 to start my busy day as a pedicab driver. 126 00:07:26,596 --> 00:07:29,096 Ooh, you drive a pedicab? 127 00:07:29,098 --> 00:07:33,167 Yes, sir! 128 00:07:33,169 --> 00:07:34,135 You need a ride somewhere? 129 00:07:34,137 --> 00:07:38,339 Yes! To the Krusty Krab and step on it! 130 00:07:38,341 --> 00:07:39,173 Way to go, Scott! 131 00:07:39,175 --> 00:07:40,374 Yeah, he's almost saved enough 132 00:07:40,376 --> 00:07:45,346 to attend a community college next year. 133 00:07:46,048 --> 00:07:51,318 Thanks a lot, Scott. Stay in school. 134 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:53,354 Krusty Klam? 135 00:07:53,356 --> 00:07:56,290 Wait, Scott. Come back! 136 00:07:56,292 --> 00:08:01,162 Tartar sauce! 137 00:08:04,366 --> 00:08:07,568 - Tock! - No! 138 00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:09,036 Over the cliff. 139 00:08:09,038 --> 00:08:10,271 Through the toxic runoff. 140 00:08:10,273 --> 00:08:16,644 Make a right at the disease-filled sewer pipe. 141 00:08:16,646 --> 00:08:19,013 Face-first into this fetid muck. 142 00:08:19,015 --> 00:08:20,281 Over the garbage pile. 143 00:08:20,283 --> 00:08:24,285 Fall down this mountain of broken glass. 144 00:08:25,620 --> 00:08:29,490 Over the excruciatingly sharp razor wire. 145 00:08:32,729 --> 00:08:36,263 Up this massive hill. 146 00:08:41,069 --> 00:08:43,404 That's the Krusty Krab. 147 00:08:43,406 --> 00:08:47,108 And I'm still two minutes early. 148 00:08:49,312 --> 00:08:53,380 I made it. Oh, I made it. 149 00:08:53,382 --> 00:08:58,185 Oh, random Krusty Krab patrons, how I've missed you. 150 00:08:58,187 --> 00:09:02,389 Oh, how I've missed your youthful faces. 151 00:09:02,391 --> 00:09:05,292 I missed the bathroom, too. 152 00:09:07,263 --> 00:09:11,665 But most of all, I missed you, choking guy. 153 00:09:13,235 --> 00:09:15,136 Patrick? How did you get here? 154 00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:16,470 Same way I always do. 155 00:09:16,472 --> 00:09:18,773 Scott gave me a ride in his pedicab. 156 00:09:21,477 --> 00:09:26,080 Squidward! Squidward, can you believe I made it? 157 00:09:26,082 --> 00:09:26,781 Oh. 158 00:09:26,783 --> 00:09:29,283 - Congratulations. - What are you doing, boy? 159 00:09:29,285 --> 00:09:34,088 You're scaring away all me customers with your foul stench. 160 00:09:34,090 --> 00:09:34,722 Mr. Krabs! 161 00:09:34,724 --> 00:09:39,093 Oh, no, lad. You're not coming in here looking like that. 162 00:09:40,096 --> 00:09:44,131 You're going straight home for a nice, long bubble bath. 163 00:09:44,133 --> 00:09:44,832 Aye, aye, sir. 164 00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:48,169 What? He gets to go home and take a bubble bath? 165 00:09:48,171 --> 00:09:49,703 That's my thing. 166 00:09:49,705 --> 00:09:50,437 Yes, it is. 167 00:09:50,439 --> 00:09:54,208 And consequently, you are just neat as a pin. 168 00:09:54,210 --> 00:09:56,243 Now get to work! 169 00:09:56,245 --> 00:09:59,480 I'm as neat as a pin. 170 00:09:59,482 --> 00:10:03,551 I'll show you neat as a pin. 171 00:10:15,197 --> 00:10:20,634 Where's my bubble bath, Mr. Krabs? 172 00:10:20,636 --> 00:10:23,604 There you go. 173 00:10:23,606 --> 00:10:25,272 Now get to work. 174 00:10:25,274 --> 00:10:29,577 Are you guys open? I have coupons. 175 00:10:29,579 --> 00:10:31,178 Buy one, get one free. 176 00:10:31,180 --> 00:10:35,316 Oh, no. It says, "Buy one for a fee." 177 00:10:35,318 --> 00:10:39,687 Oh. I stand corrected. 178 00:10:54,536 --> 00:10:57,571 And how is everything for you today, sir? 179 00:10:57,573 --> 00:10:59,607 Oh, it's great, just great. 180 00:10:59,609 --> 00:11:00,708 Fine, fine. 181 00:11:00,710 --> 00:11:02,977 I just love this Krabby Patty. 182 00:11:02,979 --> 00:11:04,979 Okay, always nice to hear. 183 00:11:04,981 --> 00:11:06,747 My Krabby Patty is a Krabby Patty, 184 00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:10,184 and both buns are also Krabby Patties. 185 00:11:10,186 --> 00:11:11,852 So luxurious! 186 00:11:11,854 --> 00:11:13,854 You must have paid five times the price 187 00:11:13,856 --> 00:11:15,589 of a regular patty for that. 188 00:11:15,591 --> 00:11:19,159 No extra! It's the same low price as a regular Krabby Patty. 189 00:11:23,999 --> 00:11:28,669 Aah! Me eyes. What are you doing, Mr. Squidward? 190 00:11:28,671 --> 00:11:29,203 Aah! 191 00:11:29,205 --> 00:11:30,838 I couldn't find the smelling salts, 192 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:32,706 so I just used table salt. 193 00:11:32,708 --> 00:11:35,075 Hey, my Krabby Patty is just a bun, 194 00:11:35,077 --> 00:11:39,213 and the two buns are also buns. 195 00:11:39,215 --> 00:11:40,114 Stale buns. 196 00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:41,882 My patty tastes like sadness. 197 00:11:41,884 --> 00:11:43,717 All right, that's enough. 198 00:11:43,719 --> 00:11:47,321 Patties with emotional flavors... 199 00:11:47,323 --> 00:11:49,189 is two bits extra. 200 00:11:49,191 --> 00:11:50,991 Now pay at the register. 201 00:11:50,993 --> 00:11:54,962 What in Davy Jones' locker is going on in here, Mr. Squidward? 202 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:58,832 What do you think? SpongeBob's in one of his moods. 203 00:11:58,834 --> 00:12:00,935 He failed his boating exam again. 204 00:12:00,937 --> 00:12:04,371 Well, we can't have that. He's me best employee. 205 00:12:04,373 --> 00:12:06,307 - Well, no offense. - None taken. 206 00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:10,110 Melancholy and self-doubt are bad for business. 207 00:12:10,112 --> 00:12:11,378 Make a note of it. 208 00:12:11,380 --> 00:12:12,346 Let me grab a pencil. 209 00:12:12,348 --> 00:12:18,185 Ha, it's funny 'cause I mean the opposite. Ha. 210 00:12:22,924 --> 00:12:23,991 Avast there, lad. 211 00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:25,893 You're wasting your valuable tears 212 00:12:25,895 --> 00:12:28,062 salting me patties with grief. 213 00:12:28,064 --> 00:12:29,630 I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs. 214 00:12:29,632 --> 00:12:32,733 Oh, I can't even cry right. 215 00:12:32,735 --> 00:12:33,834 There, there. 216 00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:35,970 Failing your driver's test is nothing to cry over. 217 00:12:35,972 --> 00:12:40,207 Aw, I've been in driving school as long as I can remember, 218 00:12:40,209 --> 00:12:42,276 and I still don't have my license. 219 00:12:42,278 --> 00:12:45,779 How much do they charge you at this driving school of yours? 220 00:12:45,781 --> 00:12:47,881 Oh, about $100 a semester. 221 00:12:47,883 --> 00:12:48,549 $100 a semester? 222 00:12:48,551 --> 00:12:52,086 Why, I could do it for double the price in half the time! 223 00:12:52,088 --> 00:12:52,686 Really? 224 00:12:52,688 --> 00:12:53,988 Sure! I taught me own daughter Pearl 225 00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:57,358 how to drive like a little angel. 226 00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:00,060 Hi, Daddy. I need money for shoes. 227 00:13:00,062 --> 00:13:05,265 Sure! Anything for me little angel, Pearl. 228 00:13:05,267 --> 00:13:09,737 Thanks, Daddy. 229 00:13:09,739 --> 00:13:12,039 Are you sure about this, Mr. Krabs? 230 00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:14,308 Why, I couldn't be surer, lad. 231 00:13:14,310 --> 00:13:18,846 You don't need a "professional" to teach you how to drive. 232 00:13:18,848 --> 00:13:20,948 You know, Mr. Krabs, at boating school, Mrs. Pu— 233 00:13:20,950 --> 00:13:24,151 Wipe that boating school malarkey out of your mind, son. 234 00:13:24,153 --> 00:13:26,253 It's all a racket. 235 00:13:26,255 --> 00:13:27,021 It is? 236 00:13:27,023 --> 00:13:28,822 And that goes for every kind of schoolin'. 237 00:13:28,824 --> 00:13:31,258 Why, there ain't nothing truly important 238 00:13:31,260 --> 00:13:32,359 you can't learn on the streets 239 00:13:32,361 --> 00:13:37,464 with half a jigger of common sense and your own two claws. 240 00:13:37,466 --> 00:13:39,833 Now put her in gear. 241 00:13:39,835 --> 00:13:40,801 Okay. 242 00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:50,778 Well, rookie mistake, boy. 243 00:13:50,780 --> 00:13:52,413 Happens all the time. 244 00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:53,814 - It does? - No. 245 00:13:53,816 --> 00:13:56,850 But you got the right fire in your belly. 246 00:13:56,852 --> 00:13:58,185 I do? 247 00:13:58,187 --> 00:13:59,086 Yeah, well, you know, 248 00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:03,323 what we need is a change of venue. 249 00:14:03,325 --> 00:14:06,126 This empty parking lot is just the ticket. 250 00:14:06,128 --> 00:14:07,995 Like every young person, the novice boater 251 00:14:07,997 --> 00:14:11,365 needs plenty of open, obstacle-free space 252 00:14:11,367 --> 00:14:14,034 and the freedom to make mistakes. 253 00:14:14,036 --> 00:14:15,736 Mr. Krabs, you're so wise. 254 00:14:15,738 --> 00:14:19,073 Can't disagree with you there. 255 00:14:19,075 --> 00:14:23,110 All right, put her in gear. 256 00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:26,380 Hmm. 257 00:14:26,382 --> 00:14:27,748 Rookie mistake, right? 258 00:14:27,750 --> 00:14:28,449 I suppose so. 259 00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:33,987 Now slowly inch forward and we'll check out the damage. 260 00:14:33,989 --> 00:14:37,224 Inch. Inch. Inch inch inch. 261 00:14:37,226 --> 00:14:40,961 Inch, inch. 262 00:14:42,530 --> 00:14:48,001 Oh, broken wall. That's about 15,000. 263 00:14:48,003 --> 00:14:52,506 Oh, kitchen fire, oh. That'll be about six grand. 264 00:14:52,508 --> 00:14:54,475 Ooh, lawsuit? 265 00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:58,378 Ooh, that's a lot of zeroes. 266 00:14:58,380 --> 00:14:59,880 Ugh. 267 00:14:59,882 --> 00:15:02,549 All right, Krabs. Get a hold of yourself. 268 00:15:02,551 --> 00:15:04,351 You've been in worse fixes than this. 269 00:15:04,353 --> 00:15:08,455 Why, you've stared down the cannon's mouth, haven't ya? 270 00:15:08,457 --> 00:15:11,925 Look at that face. 271 00:15:11,927 --> 00:15:12,459 Ew. 272 00:15:12,461 --> 00:15:16,497 Is this the face of your final defeat? 273 00:15:16,499 --> 00:15:17,965 Is it, Krabs? 274 00:15:22,437 --> 00:15:26,473 Now, here's a place you should be comfortable with. 275 00:15:26,475 --> 00:15:27,307 Oh, I'll say. 276 00:15:27,309 --> 00:15:30,410 Just take a look around, boy-o. Home sweet home. 277 00:15:30,412 --> 00:15:34,281 Nothin' to make you twitchy and jumpy. 278 00:15:34,283 --> 00:15:35,883 Just the opposite, in fact. 279 00:15:35,885 --> 00:15:38,285 A place so soothing and sweet, 280 00:15:38,287 --> 00:15:44,057 like a mother's gentle lullaby on a soft summer's night. 281 00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:51,932 Oh, brother. 282 00:15:51,934 --> 00:15:53,467 Let's start with something simple. 283 00:15:53,469 --> 00:15:57,437 A little trip down the street to Patrick's house. 284 00:15:57,439 --> 00:16:00,374 - Patrick's house! - Whoa! 285 00:16:02,544 --> 00:16:04,845 I'll have one Krabby Patty, please. 286 00:16:04,847 --> 00:16:07,214 - Okay. - Upsell. 287 00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:08,882 Ugh. Would you like fries with that? 288 00:16:08,884 --> 00:16:13,187 - Yeah. Sounds good. - Better. 289 00:16:13,189 --> 00:16:15,856 Okay. That was just fine. 290 00:16:15,858 --> 00:16:18,392 But next time, wait until I say, 291 00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:21,295 "Put her into gear." 292 00:16:25,301 --> 00:16:29,002 You missed one. 293 00:16:29,004 --> 00:16:33,006 A simple trip to Patrick's house. 294 00:16:33,008 --> 00:16:36,944 A line so straight and true. 295 00:16:36,946 --> 00:16:39,446 Mr. Krabs, let's just leave the boat here and walk. 296 00:16:39,448 --> 00:16:41,181 Well, you know, we could do that. 297 00:16:41,183 --> 00:16:45,085 But you can't learn to drive without a boat. 298 00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:46,653 Or can ye? 299 00:16:46,655 --> 00:16:48,989 You'll certainly learn the way of the road with this here 300 00:16:48,991 --> 00:16:53,160 top of the line, state of the art technological simulator. 301 00:16:55,331 --> 00:16:58,198 Now hand me one of them tokens. 302 00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:00,500 You'll need your protective head gear. 303 00:17:00,502 --> 00:17:03,670 Ready? Drive. 304 00:17:04,072 --> 00:17:09,209 I'm doing it, Mr. Krabs. I'm driving the boat! 305 00:17:09,211 --> 00:17:09,776 Uh-oh. 306 00:17:12,414 --> 00:17:16,149 Sixth place. 307 00:17:24,158 --> 00:17:26,660 Hey, look, Mr. Krabs. I'm actually driving. 308 00:17:26,662 --> 00:17:28,095 Great job, boy. 309 00:17:40,241 --> 00:17:42,242 Phew. 310 00:17:49,150 --> 00:17:51,551 Hmm. 311 00:17:59,327 --> 00:18:03,130 Well, at least I didn't hit the Krusty Krab that time. 312 00:18:22,283 --> 00:18:25,218 Saw that comin'. 313 00:18:25,220 --> 00:18:26,753 I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs. 314 00:18:26,755 --> 00:18:30,490 The fire in my belly has gone pssssh. 315 00:18:30,492 --> 00:18:32,392 No, no, it's my fault. 316 00:18:32,394 --> 00:18:35,062 We've been going about this all wrong, boy. 317 00:18:35,064 --> 00:18:37,297 It's not a pampering you be needing, 318 00:18:37,299 --> 00:18:41,335 it's a bold and reckless display of confidence. 319 00:18:41,337 --> 00:18:42,035 Oh, yeah! 320 00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:44,404 You think when I was your age I tiptoed around 321 00:18:44,406 --> 00:18:47,074 like a tadpole on a petunia? 322 00:18:47,076 --> 00:18:48,542 - You never! - That's right. 323 00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:53,647 My style was to dive in with both feet, claws snapping. 324 00:18:53,649 --> 00:18:56,316 Snapping! 325 00:18:56,318 --> 00:18:58,118 Oh, my gosh. 326 00:18:58,120 --> 00:19:00,053 Thar she blows. 327 00:19:00,055 --> 00:19:01,621 The dreaded double roundabout, 328 00:19:01,623 --> 00:19:06,059 the most treacherous stretch of road in all of Bikini Bottom. 329 00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:07,427 To your starboard, you yield. 330 00:19:07,429 --> 00:19:09,363 To your port they yield to you. 331 00:19:09,365 --> 00:19:13,333 And when you're in the middle, it's every man for himself 332 00:19:13,335 --> 00:19:14,568 and the devil take the rest. 333 00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:17,371 I don't think I'm ready for this, Mr. Krabs. 334 00:19:17,373 --> 00:19:18,105 Nonsense, boy-o. 335 00:19:18,107 --> 00:19:21,074 All it takes is some confidence and a little coordination. 336 00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:25,779 Why, your little pet snail could do it. 337 00:19:26,482 --> 00:19:27,781 Uh, I thought you were just using Gary 338 00:19:27,783 --> 00:19:29,750 as a colorful example, Mr. Krabs. 339 00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:31,084 Oh, he's colorful, all right. 340 00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:35,822 But he's also going to teach you how to drive. Now go. 341 00:19:37,226 --> 00:19:39,126 Whoa! 342 00:19:39,128 --> 00:19:41,261 Atta boy. 343 00:19:48,102 --> 00:19:50,070 There you go, SpongeBob. 344 00:19:50,072 --> 00:19:52,639 Did you see how Gary did that? 345 00:19:52,641 --> 00:19:54,241 Uh, yeah. Some of it. 346 00:19:54,243 --> 00:19:57,544 Buck up, me boy-o. It's your turn next. 347 00:19:57,546 --> 00:20:01,615 My turn? Gee, Mr. Krabs, you must really believe in me. 348 00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:02,482 Not really. 349 00:20:04,253 --> 00:20:06,153 Sir, is this your vehicle? 350 00:20:06,155 --> 00:20:07,621 Why, yes, yes, officer. It is. 351 00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,456 And did I just see you let a snail negotiate 352 00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:11,591 this vehicle through a dangerous intersection? 353 00:20:11,593 --> 00:20:15,495 You sure did—Ah, I mean you didn't—I mean, well, no. 354 00:20:15,497 --> 00:20:16,463 Well, uh, yes, I mean... 355 00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:18,432 Look, it was just a friendly little example. 356 00:20:18,434 --> 00:20:21,601 A colorful example. I was teaching the lad to drive. 357 00:20:21,603 --> 00:20:23,303 By putting a snail behind the wheel. 358 00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:27,707 Well, I mean, really, he was more on top of the wheel. 359 00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:30,444 Officer, I don't have the boating handbook with me, but— 360 00:20:30,446 --> 00:20:31,711 Quiet, boy. Let me handle this. 361 00:20:31,713 --> 00:20:34,281 Are you a licensed driving instructor, sir? 362 00:20:34,283 --> 00:20:38,585 Well, no, but I taught me own little girl to drive, 363 00:20:38,587 --> 00:20:40,821 you see, and—and you understand. 364 00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:44,458 Do you have any kiddies of your own at home, officer? 365 00:20:44,460 --> 00:20:46,693 No, I'm married to my job. 366 00:20:46,695 --> 00:20:47,294 Oh. 367 00:20:47,296 --> 00:20:51,798 Well, um, you two seem very happy together. 368 00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:53,567 Well, we've had our ups and downs, 369 00:20:53,569 --> 00:20:55,268 but after some couples counseling 370 00:20:55,270 --> 00:20:59,372 we think we've worked out our issues. 371 00:20:59,374 --> 00:21:03,243 This ticket's coming out of your paycheck, boy. 372 00:21:03,245 --> 00:21:05,912 Whoa. My first real traffic ticket. 373 00:21:05,914 --> 00:21:09,616 Oh, this is going to require something more than money, sir. 374 00:21:09,618 --> 00:21:14,488 What could be worse than spending money? 375 00:21:15,390 --> 00:21:16,256 All right, class. 376 00:21:16,258 --> 00:21:20,427 Please say hello to our newest classmate, Mr. Krabs. 377 00:21:20,429 --> 00:21:24,231 (all) Hello, Mr. Krabs. 378 00:21:24,233 --> 00:21:28,201 Don't worry, Mr. K. I'll show you the ropes.