Are you ready, kids?
Aye, aye, Captain!
I can't hear you.
Aye, aye, Captain!
SpongeBob SquarePants!
- SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?
- We interrupt this program
to bring you a Bikini Bottom News Flash.
- Whoa, big fella.
- Mr. Plankton, we've received word
that you're plotting to infiltrate the Krusty Krab
and steal the Krabby Patty secret formula.
Is that true?
- Actually, yes, that is true.
I've got it all worked out.
First I break into the safe and—ehh.
Wait, is this live?
- Yes.
- Don't broadcast my secret plans!
They're secret!
I will destroy all of you!
Secret formula, ho!
- I reckon that classified taste mixture
will be in my hands directly.
Ow!
The fool!
He left the safe open.
Open for business, baby!
Gotcha.
I'm off to make a delivery.
- Ha, that fool.
And the Krabby Patty is made of...
urchins!
- Ew! Ew!
- Gotcha!
Yoink!
- Huh?
Yes!
- Pull!
Yee-haw!
- Gotcha!
Gotcha.
- Alley-oop!
- Whee!
Come to daddy, patty!
- Gotcha.
- Eeh.
Oh, Karen, he covered me in urchins,
fed me to a seahorse, and stung me to death.
I fly through the air, he flies through the air.
I hide in a stomach, he hides in a stomach.
I have had enough!
- Oh, I think someone needs their ba-ba.
There, isn't that better?
- No, Karen!
That's just not gonna work anymore!
Don't you see? We're done here.
- He said for the 9 billionth time.
You know, Sheldon, if I had a dime
for every time you—
- Mr. Krabs, did you see that?
Plankton is retiring.
- I'll believes it when I sees it.
Hey, ha ha!
All hands on deck, SpongeBob!
Aye-aye, Mr—whoa!
Oh-oh-oh!
- Aw, you want to say good-bye to Plankton,
you old softy you.
- That'll be the day.
I don't trust Plankton as far as I throw him.
That's why we're gonna shadow that little twit
and find out what he's up to.
- "Welcome to Dullsville: a charmingly boring—"
- Snap your trap, boy-o. You'll blow our cover.
- A new life in a new town.
- I still don't see Plankton doing anything wrong.
Maybe he really is retiring.
- Believes it when I sees it.
- Quick, boy, he's getting away.
- Yes? - I'd like a room, please.
- Very good, sir.
- How long will you be staying with us?
Forever.
Ahhh!
And so begins my retirement.
- You see you, lad. Plankton is up to no good.
I bet those are all the fixings for another evil lab.
- Mr. Krabs, I'm gonna be sick.
Yes.
Yes!
- You see, he's got an evil belt to match those evil shoes.
- Yes!
My plan is almost complete.
- His plan! Did you hear that, SpongeBob?
He said plan!
- Uh, please, don't shake me, Mr. Krabs.
- Oh, my pretty.
You'll be my best friend from now on.
Retirement is mine.
Mine.
Mine!
- Ooh, this is it, boy-o.
He's got an evil laser death apparatus contraption
ready to spring on all of us.
- Ooh.
Now that I sees it, I believes it.
- Hurray! I knew you'd get it, Mr. Krabs.
- Krabs!
What are you doing in my hotel room?
Oh.
Good luck on your retirement, Plankton.
I won't give you any more trouble.
- Oh, I know you won't, Krabs,
because I'm at the Krusty Krab right now
stealing that formula.
- Oh-oh, sure. Whatever you say, old-timer.
How would you be doing that when you're all the way over here
in Dullsville, hmm?
Because I'm a decoy look-alike robot!
Gotcha!
So what'd I miss?
What?
- That's right, Karen.
By the time those two knuckleheads figure it out,
I'll be knee-deep in secret formula.
Yes, I'll wear my galoshes. Gotta go.
In your face, Krabs.
Ha!
Krabs? SpongeBoob?
Why aren't you in Dullsville?
- We never left, Sheldon.
The Mr. Krabs and SpongeBoob who followed the robot you
to Dullsville were also robots.
Gotcha.
Hate! Hate!
Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate!
- So the way I see it, Mr. Krabs and Plankton
are just using us as pawns in their dumb secret formula war.
- Agreed.
- Yeah, I mean, who cares if that guy
steals the secret formula anyway?
Grow up, that's what I say.
- Agreed.
- So you're the real Krabs and SpongeBob.
Gimme that!
- Ooh.
- Yello.
Krusty Krab, may I take your order?
No, Mr. Krabs is unable to come to the phone right now.
He's trapped in a dust cloud brawl.
Yeah, he'll have to call you back.
Gee, I hope our robot look-alikes are okay.
Bless their heart-like pneumatic pumps.
Yay!
Behold!
We are the Greek chorus.
We narrate this epic tale
of stupidity.
Behold Neptune,
god of the sea,
with his mighty trident,
a weapon so powerful
nothing is beyond its user's reach.
Behold the Kraken.
Gross monster.
Behold Neptune triumphant.
What an awesome dude.
Behold this idiot and beware,
for trident trouble comes.
- Sorry. - Eh.
See?
Food! Food! Food!
Food! Food!
- Food! Food!
Oh.
- Hey, I was still reading that!
- Forget the stupid comic.
We've got a situation here.
We don't have any Krabby Patties,
and these animals are trying to eat us instead.
Hey, who's responsible for this?
- Get to flipping those patties fast, boy-o!
Before we all become the lunch special.
- I'm on it, Mr. Krabs.
Oh, the toppings haven't been prepped.
I wish this lettuce and tomato would just cut themselves up.
- Let's do this!
- Yeah, cut me up good, girlfriend.
- Huh.
I guess I did cut up the toppings after all.
- 37 Krabby Patties!
Fast! Ahhh!
- 37 patties?
How am I gonna flip 37 patties?
Huh, has my spatula always had three heads?
No!
And it is not a spatula.
- Get them patties out here fast, SpongeBob!
Ahh!
- Well, I wish these Krabby Patties
would just serve themselves so I could keep cooking.
- Hey!
- Yay!
- Yeah!
- Whoa, my spatula never did that before.
Krabby Patty! Krabby Patty!
Huh?
- Mmm.
- Huh?
I don't know how you're doing this, boy-o,
but keep it up.
Folks will pay every cent they have
to watch Krabby Patties dance.
Look at how cute they are.
- Hey. - Oh!
- Whoo! - Whoo-whee!
- We're running out of them dancing patties.
Faster, boy-o! Faster!
Dance! Come on, dance!
I'm trying, Mr. Krabs. I'm trying.
Come on, you, work!
The sponge has angered the trident.
Trouble comes.
- Ahh!
- Ah.
Ahh!
- No!
This is gonna cost me money!
- Mr. Krabs, I wish you wouldn't worry about money
at a time like this.
Right you are, boy-o.
Here, take this. Here you go.
I can't stop!
- There you go. What's happening to me!
- What is going on around here?
- Ahem.
- Hey, what's this?
Whoa!
My spatula is magic.
Magic, magic, magic.
- This is awesome.
I will use this magic spatula to help everyone.
- I'll have two, please.
I'll help you, baby!
Boing!
- What's wrong, grass? Why won't you grow?
Talk to me.
Oh. Mm.
- We'll do more than just talk to yous.
Let's see how you like getting mowed.
- Ahhh!
- There is no problem I cannot solve,
for I am SpongeBob, Emperor of the Sea.
Hey, get outta here, you pesky jellyfish!
Whoa, slow your roll.
Only Neptune, true ruler of the sea,
can control the trident.
- So I say, "Look, Zeus,
"either you come up with more money
or Neptune walks."
- There he is, ma.
That's the man who hit me.
- Don't cry, baby.
Mother will handle this.
- Let us battle!
Take that!
- Huh?
This is dry-clean only, you monster!
- Ooh. Huh?
"Property of SpongeBob"?
- Uh-oh.
- Hey, SpongeBob.
You look so sparkly today.
- Of course I do, for I am SpongeBob,
Emperor of the Sea.
- Oh.
No! My ice cream!
Ohh, why is the world so full of pain?
- Fear not, bestest of friends.
You shall have all the ice cream you could ever eat.
No, you'll only make it worse.
- Ahhh! Best day ever!
- No, worst day ever.
Oh, my back.
See?
- I can fix this.
- Hooray!
- Boo!
- I think I know a way to make you both happy.
You really don't.
How do you not get that by now?
- An ice cream geyser!
Ahh!
Brain freeze!
I can't eat it all.
Ah, I've never been more disappointed in myself.
- Ooh, I like choc—
- Oh, the creamy, delicious horror.
- Save us, SpongeBob!
Save us!
No wait.
Okay, now save us!
- Stop, ice cream! Stop! Stop!
- Hmm?
- Oh, I just made it worse.
Patrick, I've ruined everything.
- Oh, SpongeBob, I wouldn't say that.
- Our baby!
- I'll never mow you again!
- Take me money! - Ow!
Okay, SpongeBob, you ruined everything.
- No sponge should have this much power.
We told you so.
- Not helping.
- Well, maybe I can help.
I believe I have something of yours.
- My spatula!
Then what's this?
- That is my trident!
- Well, take your trident. I don't want it anymore.
Whoa! Stop! That wasn't me.
Too long away from its true master,
the trident has run wild.
- What a jerk.
- Sorry. Pardon me.
It stuck!
- Ahh! Make it stop!
- You have been one naughty trident.
- Oh, I can't stay mad at you.
- Now let's see if we can fix all of this.
- Give me back me money.
- Mow us good!
- You know, SpongeBob, your spatula is just as powerful
as my trident.
- Really?
- Ha! Not even close!
But it's still pretty great.
- Thanks for bailing me out, Neptune.
If there's any way I can ever help you,
just let me know.
- Well, there is one way.
There they are!
- Let's get 'em!