I wish to register a complaint.
An urchin!
- Yuck!
- Hey lady, take your infested patty with you.
Okay, no need to panic, Squidward,
It's just a puny urchin.
Everything's gonna be fine as long as you...
smash it! Smash it! Smash it!
Phew.
Squidward, I'm surprised at you.
That little urchin wasn't hurting anyone.
He's still one of Neptune's creatures,
no matter how small he is.
This is where the magic happens, little urchin.
First we turn up the heat,
but don't make it too hot.
Would you like to see a menu, monsieur?
- Ow!
- Okay, little guy, see you later.
Good thing he is a little guy.
Ouch.
Ah!
What the shrimp?
Hey, what's going on here?
Whoa! That's too hot!
Whoa!
Wow.
Oops.
I steamed myself tiny.
- Whoo-hoo! I steamed myself tiny!
Whoo!
This place is huge!
My spatula's huge.
And just look at the size of my grill.
It's huge!
Ow!
Ow! Ow ow ow ow ow!
Ahh!
Ahh.
Come on, flip.
Wha—
Uh-oh, the grill blew out.
Well... it isn't going to fix itself.
That's one small step for SpongeBob,
one giant leap for... Wee!
Whoa.
Bob.
Whew. Oh!
- What is that?
- Hey, it's my little urchin friend.
Aww, hey, little guy. Don't cry.
Your old pal "Wee-Bob" will get you out of there.
Little urchin, you are free to go. You okay?
Yeouch!
- Wah!
- Sorry, little guy.
Whoa!
- Whoa! Whoa!
- Follow the pipes to freedom, little guy.
I'll never forget you.
Really.
Ow!
What is all that noise?
- One Krabby Patty!
- Coming right up!
- Urchin! Smash it! Smash it! Smash it!
- Ah-ha!
You're getting sloppy, Plankton.
Squidward almost squashed you.
Back to the bucket with ya!
- No! No, Mr. Krabs, it's me!
Ooh. That tickles.
- Well, SpongeBob SquarePants.
it looks like you lost a little weight.
- Oh, hi, Karen. Where's Plankton?
- You landed on him.
- Hi, Plankton.
"Spongeboob?" Why are you so small?
Is this a trick?
- Calm down, he's clean. I frisked him.
- I didn't mean to get small like you, Plankton.
It was a freak accident.
- Huh? Who are you calling a freak?
Wait a second.
Hold this.
You're not small like me, shorty.
I am a towering half a millimeter taller than you.
I win!
- Hooray!
- I'll get that. - Don't touch that!
- Oops.
- Get him out of here, Karen!
- Way ahead of you, chief.
- Cool.
Ha ha! I found an action figure.
- Whoa. I saw it first.
- No, I did. - Finders keepers.
- Whoa!
- What's the matter with you?
- Blech.
- It's got my spit on it.
- Whoa! You can't catch me.
- Don't let him get away.
This is the best action figure ever.
- SpongeBob in the corner pocket. Doink!
- You brats get back in the play area
or I'll 86 your face!
Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
We want our action figure back.
- Ow!
- Krusty Krab action figures aren't free, you know.
So get your parents' money and you can have it.
- Uh, Eugene, we don't sell action figures.
- Hmm. - Peek-a-boo!
- What the—
- SpongeBob, what are you doing in my hand?
And why aren't you back there flipping patties?
- Sorry, Mr. K, I shrunk myself by mistake,
but I won't let it affect my job.
I will get back to flipping right now.
Hold on there, tiny.
I can't have you working the grill no more.
Too dangerous for a little guy like you.
- Oh, please, Mr. Krabs, there must be some job I could do.
I don't care what it is. Please, please, please?
- All right, I'll think of something.
But since you're so small now,
I can only pay you a penny... a year.
- Whoa!
That's big money.
Ow! - Hmm.
Now, what could I do with a little SpongeBob?
Oh, hmm.
- Personal hygiene service?
- Roll up your sleeves, boy-o.
You're a personal hygienist now.
- Whoo-hoo! Yay!
- Ahh!
- Right there, yeah.
- Ahh.
Whew.
- Break time, SpongeBob.
Take five, but hurry back.
You gotta start earning that penny.
- Hmm. Work the register, clean the windows,
make the patties.
I have to do everything now.
Thanks a lot, "ShrinkBob."
- It's okay, Squidward. I'll make the patties for y—
Oh, yeah, I forgot.
I'm too little.
Boy, I'm really going to miss my old job.
- Lunch rush is over, Mr. Squidward.
Now, wash those dishes!
- "Lunch rush is over, Mr. Squidward.
Now, wash them dishes."
The bubbles are making me bigger.
More bubbles!
- What the?
- Thank you, Squidward.
I'm big enough to flip patties again.
- Whoa!
- Mr. Squidward! Call the fire department!
- No need to call them, Mr. Krabs.
We'll be there in five minutes depending on traffic.
- Make a left at the light!
Ahh.
Phew!
- What's that?
- Looks like a box.
- Wonder who it belongs to.
Maybe it says on the other side.
Nope.
- Oh, look, it's open.
- It is?
Yup.
- Ooh.
It's—
it's—
It's stuff!
Oh, I knew it!
But what does this stuff do?
Hmm.
- Ah, this must be for getting books off the top shelf.
- Hey!
Oh!
Hmm. Mm.
Wow.
This is must be a whipped cream holder.
Mmm.
- Ah! Patrick, are you okay?
Yum.
- Meow. - This must be
a portable snail bed.
- I wanna try!
- Meow.
- Aww.
Oh, it may have taken you all morning, Squidward,
but this is a meal fit for a king.
Oh.
My croque-madame is ready.
What the—
SpongeBob! Patrick!
What do you two think you're—
wow.
Hiyah!
- My begonias!
What are you lunk heads doing with all this equipment?
Equipment?
- You don't know what this stuff is?
Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm.
- This is a soccer ball...
that is a tennis racket, and these...
are a couple of morons.
Now, be quiet!
And clean up all of your sports junk!
What's a "sportz"?
Sports are games
you play for points.
The points determine the winner of the game.
- Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! I love games!
- Me too! You must know a lot
about "sportz," Squidward.
Will you teach us how to play?
- I can't think of anything I'd rather do less than—
- Now now, Squidward. You need to help them.
Played incorrectly, sports can be very dangerous.
- Yeah, he's right. You should teach 'em
to play wrong, 'cause it's payback time.
Let 'em have it, right between the eyes.
- You know, on second thought, I'd be happy to teach you
all about sports, SpongeBob.
All right, the object of this game
is to throw the horseshoe around the stick.
- Ah, seems easy enough.
- Sure, but you have to do it... blindfolded.
Um, do we throw now?
- Yes. - At the same time?
- Yes! Throw it at the same time. Throw.
- Hiyah!
- Ow!
Aw, we didn't hit the sticks. Did we do bad?
- My face hurts.
- Oh, no, no, no. You both did good.
Pain is— uh, worth points.
You know the phrase, "no pain, no gain."
I want pain points!
- Yeah, that's great.
Now do it— oh, 100 more times.
- Yeah!
Ow!
- Oh, Squiddy, you're a genius.
- Squidward, can the game be over now?
All this pain is starting to hurt.
- Oh, sorry. There's no way to end the game
without one of you winning.
- Ready... set... go!
Squidward, are you sure we're doing this right?
These running shoes are really hurting my ankles.
- Oh, you're absolutely doing it right.
Try to pick up the pace, though.
Comin' through!
- I wanna play, Daddy.
- No, son. We're sports "fans."
We just watch.
- And... time.
Let's see those ankles.
Oh, yeah, those look bad.
You both get— mm, 50 points.
Why not? - Hey, then we're still tied!
- Hmm. Hmm.
Where is it! Where is it?
Hmm. Ah-ha! There's my box of sports gear.
It must've fallen off the mail truck.
But what happened to all the equipment?
What was that?
Huh?
SpongeBob, what's going on?
- Oh, hey—Sandy.
Patrick and I are—
in the middle of a sports game.
- This sure don't look
like any sport I've seen before.
- I believe it's called kickboxing, or something?
- Well, whatever it is, it seems to be causing you lots of pain.
- Ow! Sure is.
Ooh!
- Why not stop playing it if it hurts so bad?
- We can't stop...
Until we break our tie.
- Says who?
- It's the rule giver.
- I ain't never heard of a rule giver.
- I prefer "King of Sports,"
but you can never tell what will catch on with the small folk.
- You're making up a game where SpongeBob and Patrick
hurt themselves, and you won't let them stop?
- I'm just giving the people what they want.
- That's pretty low, Squidward, even for you.
I'm putting a stop to this.
SpongeBob and Patrick have had enough!
- See? They're fine.
Let the games resume.
Oh, I don't think so.
Y'all want to see a game? Fine.
Squidward, I challenge you to a game—
a game of basketball.
Winner decides the fate of SpongeBob and Patrick.
Huh?
Me? Play sports?
No, no. I'm mostly in an advisory position.
- Aw, come on! We came to see some action.
Play the squirrel! Play the squirrel!
- See you on the court, Your Highness.
- Hey, Squidward, one more thing.
We're playing San Antonio rules.
- San "A-what-io" rules?
- Check.
- Oh, that was a foul.
- Tell it to yo Mama, Squidward.
- Mama?
- Don't want to hear it.
- Next round's soccer.
- What the what? - Sure.
Every time you score, you pick a new sport.
I thought you knew all the rules, Squidward.
- Well, uh, yeah, well, of course I do. Yeah.
- Good, then block this.
- Block what?
- Ha!
- Oh, come on, I wasn't even ready.
- No time outs. Football round!
Just give me a second to—
- And the winner is... Sandy Cheeks.
- Good game, Squidward.
- Ow, ow, ow.
- Wow, Sandy. That was amazing.
- Yeah, I liked the part
where you did that thing with the ball and stuff.
Thanks, boys.
Looks like we're all done here.
That goes for you too. I'm ending your game.
But we're still tied.
- Don't worry, I'm declaring you both winners.
Yeah! We're winners! We're winners! We're winners!
- Aww, don't worry, Squidward.
You're a winner too.
- I hate winning.
Ow.