- Ahh! Sea spider!
Sea spider! Sea spider!
- Ahh!
Oh!
- Oh.
Back! Back!
Oh.
Oh! Oh. Ah!
Whoa!
Oh, boy! Here it is!
My lost coupon!
I found it!
You have fought well today, sea spider,
and now I must leave.
For I am going to use this coupon to get an ice cream
for my bestest friend in the whole ocean—
um...
Sponge Knob Hair Pants!
Hmm.
Hmm!
Hey, Patrick. - Gah, gah! Oh.
- What you doin'?
- I got this here free coupon
and I'm gonna get you an ice cream.
- That's nice of you, buddy, but I already got an ice cream.
- Uh...
but I'm getting you an ice cream!
- Why would ya? I already got one.
Because I'm a nice guy!
- Wow. There goes the nicest guy.
Whoa.
- Hooray!
I win a free coupon!
- H-how did you know about my free coupon?
- Me back knows.
It breaks out in hives around anything free.
- Guh.
- I also know how heavy
a free ice cream coupon can be.
- It's heavy?
- Much too much responsibility for a carefree fellow like you.
- Tell you what.
I'll take that free coupon off your hands
for the price of a hearty handshake.
- Uh...
Oh.
Ohh!
Oh!
SpongeBob does love handshakes.
- You should be ashamed of yourself!
Taking advantage of a simpleton.
- Ahh, come on.
Can't an old crab have a little unscrupulous fun anymore?
- Hey, you ruined my deal!
I almost had a handshake!
- Oh, you dingdong wing nut!
Krabs was just trying to steal your coupon!
- Steal my coupon?
Hmm.
- You want my ice cream coupon!
You can't have it!
- Okay. Whatever.
- He never really knew how to sing.
- No! Singers?
- You. Hmm?
- Oh, I see you...
peeking at my coupon!
It's for SpongeBob's ice cream!
- Hooray for SpongeBob.
- Hey, what's going on?
- Get away from me! All of you!
You're all after my coupon!
Coupon! Coupon! Coupon! Coupon!
- No! You can't have my coupon!
No! No!
- Officer Slugfish?
We got a call about a sea star disturbance on your beat.
Please investigate.
- Roger, headquarters.
Hey, you.
Headquarters? I couldn't catch him.
He got away.
- You're a bad baby!
Whaa!
- Oh, look, honey,
it's Bikini Bottom's Sidewalk of the Stars.
- This one's gruesome.
Hmm, looks like some kids' cartoon.
Should we take a photo?
- Nah, waste of film.
Ooh.
Ah! Come back!
Ah!
I made it.
It's beautiful.
- And a good ice cream day to you, sir.
- Yes, it's a good day for ice cream!
- And what's your pleasure?
- Oh, I want your bestest ice cream
for my bestest buddy, SpongeBob!
- Excellent choice, sir.
One Heavenly Paradise coming up.
- SpongeBob won't mind if I just take a little taste.
- Aw, this coupon's out of date.
Expired two years ago.
Sorry, we can't honor it.
- No ice cream for SpongeBob?
Uh!
I demand that you honor my coupon!
- Temper tantrum in center aisle!
- I'm on it.
- Take my coupon!
Take my coupon.
Take my coupon. Take my coupon.
Ah, take my—
- You poor, miserable creature.
- I'm miserable.
- You wretched, worthless, shabby—
- Hey, don't you think you're being a little harsh?
- Not really.
Look at him.
- Yeah. Never mind.
Continue and bump it up a little bit.
- Listen, buddy,
there is one person who can honor this coupon;
the person who owns this store.
The Ice Cream King himself.
- The Ice Cream King?
- Oh, yeah.
He lives up there in that mansion.
- Wow.
- Do you need a push?
- Yeah. Would you, please?
Whoa.
Hello?
- Are you the exterminator?
- Oh. No.
I'm not the extra gator.
I'm here to redeem my coupon for a free ice cream!
It's for my bestest friend, but it's out of date.
- They're all out of date because I don't know
what year it is.
- I don't know what anything is.
- Are you smart or dumb?
- Apples?
- Genius!
Let's see your head.
I can't feel your brain.
- It's down here today.
- Mine too!
High five!
Secret handshake?
Perfect!
You don't know the secret handshake either.
Hey, I don't know your name.
- Hey, you're right!
- This may still be redeemable according to the fine print.
I didn't bring my reading eyes.
- Try my glasses!
- Oh, ooh.
It says "garbaldy goop."
- But spelled backwards is...
The King's Challenge!
Hair growing contest!
Ah-ha!
- Wow.
Oh...
Ow.
- That's sad.
Watch this.
Try beating that.
- Oh, man.
- Ha ha! I beat you.
- Not so fast.
Ha!
Can I redeem my coupon now?
- Not just yet.
Best two out of three.
- Ooh. - Ooh.
Your butterscotch style is strong, Low Fat,
but it is no match for my brownie bits!
- Ha, ha, ha!
You'll wish your cone was a cup
when I whip you into cream!
Hi-ya!
They told me you had scoops,
but your serve is soft.
I see you've studied the ancient art of failure!
- Oh!
- Redeem my coupon!
- Think fast—
rainbow sprinkles!
- You have played with skill
and courage.
I will honor your coupon.
- One free ice cream cone!
- Oh, hello, Patrick. What's up?
- I was gonna give you this ice cream,
but it melted.
Instead, I got you this hearty handshake.
- Aw, I love hearty handshakes,
but not as much as I love ice cream!
Care to join me?
Whoo-hoo!
- Ladies and gentlemen!
Behold my wondrous paintings!
- Um, excuse me. Can I have some ketchup?
- Hey, look at my art, you dummies!
- Oh!
- I don't know how you talked me into this art show, SpongeBob,
but I'm shutting this thing down right now.
- Aw, you can't, Mr. Krabs.
Wait until Squidward sells some of his paintings.
- Buy some important paintings.
See me expose my exquisite suffering.
Hmm. These fools don't even recognize
the masterworks in front of their faces.
I'll confront them with the power of my art.
- Ahh— - Witness the beauty!
- Pah!
- Come on, Larry,
get your salad on!
- Come on, Larry, get your art on!
- Oohee! My eyes!
The pain!
- I want a Kwabby Meal!
- How about some art to go with that?
Run, baby, run!
- That's it! Squidward is scaring me customers away.
I'm shutting this art show down.
He's never gonna sell his paintings.
- Sure, he will. I just bought one.
- Ah! Holy shrimp.
Why would you do that to yourself?
- What do you mean? I love it.
- Ah.
- Mr. Krabs, Squidward is our friend,
and his paintings are so cheap.
You should buy one just to be nice.
I'm good.
- Nice? Nice?
I don't waste my money on nice.
- But think about how valuable these paintings might become.
- Valuable? What do you mean?
- When art gets older, it usually gets more expensive.
Squidward's paintings might be worth millions someday.
- Millions?
Out of me way!
Here! - Ow.
- Gimme.
This is mine now!
- Okay, Mr. Krabs!
Art, art, art, art, art, art.
Now all I need to do is sit back
and watch me art grow more valuable.
- I am a very important art appraiser,
and I say this so-called "art"
will never be worth a penny.
- Hey, Eugene H. Krabs does not—
Lose money.
There must be something I can do
to make this art worth lots more cash.
- Hmm...
- I sold all my art?
This tiny handful of coins has legitimized me!
Who wants the autograph of a real artiste?
- Ahh!
- Well,
paintings can become much more valuable
when the artist is not longer with us.
You know, out of the picture.
- Out of the picture, eh?
I think I could arrange that.
- Artist walking— check me out.
- Check this out.
Got a delivery for you, Mr. Squidward.
- What? You can't be serious.
An artist, such as myself, should not be subject
to such menial tasks.
Aw, don't be menial to Squidward, Mr. Krabs.
I'll take the delivery.
- No.
Mr. Squidward is a real artist now,
and real artists can handle anything.
- The Arctic is so cold.
Come on, Squidward,
you're a strong artist.
You can do it!
Nope.
SpongeBob?
- Oh, hey, Squidward! - Ah!
SpongeBob, what are you doing here?
- Just getting some ice.
Fresh!
Need some help?
Oh!
- Here's your food.
- Hey, this is cold!
Perfect!
- Dah!
- Eh, we better get you home.
- Hello. Is this the art appraiser?
Just wanted to let you know
that me good, good friend Squidward is now
out of the pictu—
Wha-what the sea horse?
Got another delivery for you, Squidward.
And only Squidward!
- Your eyes are so pretty.
- Last...
Stop...
Rock...
Bottom.
- 237 Rock Bottom.
Oh, there it is!
Oh, remember, Squidward,
real artists embrace the unknown.
Uh, is anyone here?
I've got a delivery
from the Krusty...
Krab.
- What are we screaming about?
- Monsters!
- They're not monsters, Squidward,
they're my friends.
- What...
Up...
SpongeBob?
- Yes, I am sure that Mr. Squidward
is out of the picture for good.
He will be missed.
So come on over and tell old Krabs
how much money me paintings are worth.
Squidward, delivery!
- Ooh, this tickles.
Follow me, Mr. Squidward.
I've got a special delivery vehicle
just for a great artist like yourself.
- Well, that's more like it.
Finally some respect.
- Into the rocket you go.
- Ah! Ooh.
Wait, why do I need a rocket?
Where is this delivery to?
- Mars.
- Oh, Mars. Well—
M-M-M-Mars?
- Bye, Squidward.
- Delivery from the Krusty Krab.
- Hmm. All this red, so garish.
Ah, this dump needs a true artist's touch.
- So now that Squidward definitely,
100% is gone for good— what a shame—
what do you think of these here paintings?
- Well, of course, they're awful,
but if the so-called "artist"
is really out of the picture,
then perhaps they're worth something.
- Really?
It's so complicated.
These are tears of joy, but they're also tears of sadness
for my good friend Squidward,
wherever he is.
- Oh, there he is, Mr. Krabs.
- Stay here and keep an eye on me investments.
Well, that was disgusting.
So who wants to talk about my use of color
and brush stroke?
Hm!
- I have done everything I could
to get you away from here safely.
- Ah! - Now you're messing
with me money!
- Dah!
- Run, Squidward, run!
- Hey!
How about a little support here?
- Run, Mr. Krabs, run!
- But a little slower than Squidward!
- It's your best friend,
SpongeBob.
- Oh, get off of me!
- I'll never get off of you, Squidward.
Not until you're safe.
- I'll never be safe!
Not until my paintings are gone.
- No, Squidward!
You can't deprive the world of your paintings!
- True, but it's better than depriving the world of me.
Hmm?
- Ah!
- Come on, Squidward, destroy those paintings
before Mr. Krabs gets back.
I—I can't do it!
They're just too magnificent!
- Hey, hey, hey!
Get away from me paintings!
- Oh, I'm sorry, paintings, but it's you or me!
- Yes. Yes!
Now this is true art!
- Wha—really?
- So visceral, so dangerous.
- Yes!
Feel my art!
- Leave me paintings alone, you monster!
- No!
That was the most exhilarating performance art
I have ever seen!
- Really?
So it must be worth millions!
Hey, out of me way!
Mr. Krabs, uh, Squidward,
I don't think you should be doing that.
- Oh, don't be so provincial, SpongeBob.
- Yeah, stop trying to censor our money!
I mean, our art!
There!
- Bravo!
Bravo! Bravo!
- Ooh, boy, hee-hee!
So, heh,
how much you gonna give me for all this?
- Nothing!
Performance art is about the moment.
You cannot put a price on it.
- What? Wait. Come back here,
you double-crossing—
- Doh! Mr. Krabs! Squidward!
- A-ha!
And that is how I acquired this masterpiece.
- Ooh. - Ahh.
- Bravo.
- I'm an artist.
- I'm rich.
- And I helped.