1 00:00:16,820 --> 00:00:18,550 Merry christmas, grandpa. 2 00:00:18,580 --> 00:00:20,980 Oh, merry christmas to you, stevie. 3 00:00:22,220 --> 00:00:23,920 Did you bring me any presents? 4 00:00:23,950 --> 00:00:25,780 Now, why would i want to do that? 5 00:00:25,820 --> 00:00:26,980 'Cause it's christmas. 6 00:00:27,020 --> 00:00:28,520 Oh,i thought santa claus 7 00:00:28,550 --> 00:00:30,420 Brought the presents at christmas. 8 00:00:30,450 --> 00:00:32,950 You have been a good boy this year, haven't you? 9 00:00:32,980 --> 00:00:34,980 I have,i swear. 10 00:00:35,020 --> 00:00:37,320 Well,then, who knows? Maybe he'll come. 11 00:01:12,950 --> 00:01:14,880 Santa! 12 00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:25,180 Reindeer. 13 00:02:10,950 --> 00:02:12,150 Santa? 14 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:32,520 Um, my daughter and i were in our beds. 15 00:02:32,550 --> 00:02:35,480 Mike was downstairs decorating the tree. 16 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:37,850 I heard a thump on the roof, 17 00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:40,120 And then i-I heard mike scream, 18 00:02:40,150 --> 00:02:42,420 And now i'm talking to the fbi. 19 00:02:42,450 --> 00:02:44,550 And you didn't see any of it? 20 00:02:44,580 --> 00:02:47,950 No, he was... he was just gone. 21 00:02:47,980 --> 00:02:50,020 The doors were locked? There was no forced entry? 22 00:02:50,055 --> 00:02:51,020 That's right. 23 00:02:51,050 --> 00:02:52,550 Does anybody else have a key? My parents. 24 00:02:52,580 --> 00:02:54,220 Where do they live? 25 00:02:54,250 --> 00:02:55,680 Florida. 26 00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:57,980 Thanks for letting me have a look around, mrs. Walsh. 27 00:02:58,020 --> 00:03:00,380 I think we, uh, got just about everything we need. 28 00:03:00,420 --> 00:03:02,150 We're all set. 29 00:03:02,180 --> 00:03:03,650 We'll be in touch. 30 00:03:07,450 --> 00:03:09,280 Agents... 31 00:03:10,780 --> 00:03:13,380 T-The police said my husband might have been kidnapped. 32 00:03:13,420 --> 00:03:14,750 Could be. 33 00:03:14,780 --> 00:03:17,520 Then why haven't the kidnappers called 34 00:03:17,550 --> 00:03:19,750 O-Or - Or demanded a ransom? 35 00:03:19,780 --> 00:03:21,920 It's three days till christmas. 36 00:03:21,950 --> 00:03:24,550 What am i supposed to tell our daughter? 37 00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:26,480 We're very sorry. 38 00:03:34,650 --> 00:03:36,380 Find anything? 39 00:03:36,420 --> 00:03:39,320 Stockings, mistletoe... this. 40 00:03:39,350 --> 00:03:41,280 A tooth? Where was this? 41 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:42,880 In the chimney. 42 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:45,150 No way a man fits up a chimney. It's too narrow. 43 00:03:45,180 --> 00:03:46,750 No way he fits up in one piece. 44 00:03:46,780 --> 00:03:48,880 All right,so, if dad went up the chimney - 45 00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:51,080 We need to find out what dragged him up there. 46 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:00,980 So, was i right? 47 00:04:01,020 --> 00:04:03,550 Is it the serial-Killing chimney sweep? 48 00:04:03,580 --> 00:04:04,720 Yep. 49 00:04:04,750 --> 00:04:07,320 It's,uh, it's actually dick van dyke. 50 00:04:07,350 --> 00:04:08,250 Who? 51 00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:10,050 "Mary poppins. "Who's that? 52 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:11,450 Oh, come on -Never mind. 53 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:13,380 It turns out that walsh is the second guy in town 54 00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:15,320 Grabbed out of his house this month. 55 00:04:15,350 --> 00:04:16,550 Oh,yeah? Yeah. 56 00:04:16,580 --> 00:04:18,580 The other guy get dragged up the chimney, too? 57 00:04:18,620 --> 00:04:21,820 Don't know. Witnesses said they heard a thump on the roof. 58 00:04:21,850 --> 00:04:23,580 So, what the hell do you think we're dealing with? 59 00:04:23,620 --> 00:04:25,880 Actually,i have an idea. Yeah? 60 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:27,580 It's,uh, it's gonna sound crazy. 61 00:04:27,620 --> 00:04:29,980 What could you possibly say that sounds crazy to me? 62 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:33,750 Evil santa. 63 00:04:35,180 --> 00:04:36,650 Yeah, that's crazy. 64 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:38,650 Yeah... i mean,i'm just saying 65 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:42,180 That there's some version of the anti-Claus in every culture. 66 00:04:42,220 --> 00:04:44,250 You got belsnickel,krampus, black peter. 67 00:04:44,280 --> 00:04:46,980 Whatever you want to call it, there's all sorts of lore. 68 00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:48,250 Saying what? 69 00:04:48,280 --> 00:04:50,350 Saying back in the day, santa's brother went rogue, 70 00:04:50,380 --> 00:04:51,950 And now he shows up around christmastime. 71 00:04:51,980 --> 00:04:53,950 Instead of bringing presents, he punishes the wicked. 72 00:04:53,980 --> 00:04:55,350 By hauling their ass up chimneys? 73 00:04:55,380 --> 00:04:56,850 For starters, yeah. 74 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,820 So, this is your theory, huh? Santa's shady brother? 75 00:04:59,850 --> 00:05:02,780 Well,i'm just saying, that's what the lore says. 76 00:05:02,820 --> 00:05:04,650 Santa doesn't have a brother. There is no santa. 77 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:06,020 Yeah,i know. 78 00:05:06,050 --> 00:05:07,280 You're the one who told me that in the first place 79 00:05:07,315 --> 00:05:08,280 Remember? 80 00:05:13,820 --> 00:05:14,750 Yeah, you know what?I could be wrong. 81 00:05:14,780 --> 00:05:17,120 I... 82 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,480 got to be wrong. 83 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:20,120 Maybe, maybe not. 84 00:05:20,150 --> 00:05:22,050 What? 85 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:24,980 I did a little digging - Turns out both victims 86 00:05:25,020 --> 00:05:27,020 Visited the same place before they got snatched. 87 00:05:27,050 --> 00:05:28,250 Where? 88 00:05:40,650 --> 00:05:43,320 It does kind of lend credence to the theory, don't it? 89 00:05:43,350 --> 00:05:45,420 Yeah, but anti-Claus? 90 00:05:45,450 --> 00:05:47,120 Couldn't be. 91 00:05:47,150 --> 00:05:48,650 It's a christmas miracle. 92 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:51,150 Hey, speaking of, we should have one this year. 93 00:05:51,180 --> 00:05:53,350 Have one what?A christmas. 94 00:05:53,380 --> 00:05:54,820 No, thanks. 95 00:05:54,850 --> 00:05:57,280 No, we'll get a tree, a little boston market - 96 00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:59,020 Just like when we were little. 97 00:05:59,050 --> 00:06:01,750 Dean, those weren't exactly hallmark memories for me. 98 00:06:01,780 --> 00:06:02,880 What are you talking about? 99 00:06:02,915 --> 00:06:03,980 We had some great christmases. 100 00:06:04,020 --> 00:06:05,520 Whose childhood are you talking about? 101 00:06:05,550 --> 00:06:07,320 Oh, come on, sam. 102 00:06:07,350 --> 00:06:10,120 No, just... no. 103 00:06:11,750 --> 00:06:13,680 All right, grinch. 104 00:06:32,380 --> 00:06:34,920 What is that? 105 00:06:34,950 --> 00:06:36,580 A present for dad. 106 00:06:36,620 --> 00:06:38,520 Yeah, right. 107 00:06:38,550 --> 00:06:40,680 Where'd you get the money -Steal it? 108 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:43,180 No. Uncle bobby gave it to me to give to him. 109 00:06:43,220 --> 00:06:44,750 Said it was real special. 110 00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:46,020 What is it? 111 00:06:46,050 --> 00:06:47,380 A pony. 112 00:06:47,420 --> 00:06:49,720 Very funny. 113 00:06:54,650 --> 00:06:56,380 Dad's gonna be here, right? 114 00:06:56,420 --> 00:06:57,820 He'll be here. 115 00:06:57,850 --> 00:06:59,550 It's christmas. 116 00:06:59,580 --> 00:07:01,080 He knows. 117 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:03,080 And he'll be here - Promise. 118 00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:04,420 Where is he, anyway? 119 00:07:04,450 --> 00:07:05,480 On business. 120 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:06,780 What kind of business? 121 00:07:06,820 --> 00:07:08,480 You know that. 122 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:10,150 He sells stuff. 123 00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:12,650 What kind of stuff? Stuff. 124 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:14,450 Nobody ever tells me anything. 125 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:16,450 Then quit asking. 126 00:07:25,180 --> 00:07:26,980 Is dad a spy? 127 00:07:27,020 --> 00:07:29,080 Mm-Hmm. He's james bond. 128 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,180 Why do we move around so much? 129 00:07:31,220 --> 00:07:34,150 'Cause everywhere we go, they get sick of your face. 130 00:07:37,250 --> 00:07:39,650 I'm old enough, dean. You can tell me the truth. 131 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:43,350 You don't want to know the truth. Believe me. 132 00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:46,280 Is that why we never talk about... mom? 133 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:47,450 Shut up! 134 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:50,420 Don't you ever talk about mom - Ever! 135 00:07:53,750 --> 00:07:55,750 Wait. Where are you going? 136 00:07:55,780 --> 00:07:57,750 Out. 137 00:08:05,750 --> 00:08:08,550 You'd think with the 10 bucks it costs to get into this place, 138 00:08:08,580 --> 00:08:10,920 Santa could scrounge up a little snow. 139 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:14,850 What? 140 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:18,550 Nothing. What are we looking for, again? 141 00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:23,580 Lore says that the anti-Claus 142 00:08:23,620 --> 00:08:26,920 Will walk with a limp and smell like sweets. 143 00:08:26,950 --> 00:08:29,250 Great. So we're looking for a pimp santa. 144 00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:30,620 Why the sweets? 145 00:08:30,650 --> 00:08:32,380 Think about it, dean. 146 00:08:32,420 --> 00:08:33,545 If you smell like candy 147 00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:36,280 The kids will come closer, you know? 148 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:38,120 That's creepy. 149 00:08:38,150 --> 00:08:39,580 How does this thing know 150 00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:42,020 Who's been naughty and who's been nice? 151 00:08:42,050 --> 00:08:43,780 I don't know. 152 00:08:45,380 --> 00:08:48,480 So,ronny, come sit on santa's knee. 153 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:49,780 Ah, there you go. 154 00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:52,050 You been a good boy this year? Yeah 155 00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:54,550 Good. 156 00:08:54,580 --> 00:08:57,350 Santa's got a special gift for you 157 00:08:59,850 --> 00:09:01,320 Maybe we do 158 00:09:05,050 --> 00:09:07,020 Welcome to santa's court. 159 00:09:07,050 --> 00:09:08,550 Can i escort your child to santa? 160 00:09:08,580 --> 00:09:10,120 N-No. No. 161 00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:11,950 Uh,but, actually, my brother here - 162 00:09:11,980 --> 00:09:13,350 It's been a lifelong dream of his. 163 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:18,580 Uh, sorry. No kids over... 12. 164 00:09:18,620 --> 00:09:21,220 No, he's just kidding. We only came here to watch. 165 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:30,580 I-I didn't mean that we came here to w-Y 166 00:09:30,620 --> 00:09:33,180 Thanks a lot, dean. Thanks for that. 167 00:09:34,620 --> 00:09:35,850 Check it out. 168 00:09:47,180 --> 00:09:48,650 Are you seeing this? 169 00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:50,750 A lot of people walk with limps, right? 170 00:09:50,780 --> 00:09:53,320 Tell me you didn't smell that. That was candy, man. 171 00:09:53,350 --> 00:09:55,620 That was ripple - I think. Had to be. 172 00:09:57,720 --> 00:10:00,050 Maybe. We willing to take that chance? 173 00:10:01,950 --> 00:10:05,550 What time is it? 174 00:10:05,580 --> 00:10:08,250 Same as the last time you asked. 175 00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:10,150 Here. 176 00:10:10,180 --> 00:10:11,780 Caffeinate. 177 00:10:19,850 --> 00:10:21,780 Wonderful. 178 00:10:25,050 --> 00:10:26,480 Hey, sam... 179 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:29,320 Yeah? 180 00:10:29,350 --> 00:10:31,850 Why are you the boy that hates christmas? 181 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:34,780 Dean... i mean,i admit it - 182 00:10:34,820 --> 00:10:37,350 We had a few bumpy holidays when we were kids. "Bumpy"? 183 00:10:37,380 --> 00:10:39,950 That was then. We'll do it right this year. 184 00:10:39,980 --> 00:10:42,280 Look,dean, if you want to have christmas 185 00:10:42,315 --> 00:10:43,880 Knock yourself out. 186 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:45,580 Just don't involve me. 187 00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:49,120 Oh,yeah, that'd be great - 188 00:10:49,150 --> 00:10:51,450 Me and myself making cranberry molds. 189 00:11:05,980 --> 00:11:07,620 What's up with saint nicotine? 190 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:21,320 What? 191 00:11:21,350 --> 00:11:22,580 Nothing. 192 00:11:22,620 --> 00:11:24,920 It's just that, uh... well, you know, 193 00:11:24,950 --> 00:11:27,180 Mr. Gung ho christmas might have to blow away santa. 194 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:36,680 What the hell are you doing here? 195 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:39,220 I'm really not interested, okay? 196 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:47,350 Jingle my bells... 197 00:11:47,380 --> 00:11:51,250 S-Silent night 198 00:11:52,620 --> 00:11:54,850 Holy... 199 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,750 night... night 200 00:12:38,750 --> 00:12:41,380 Santa, you're early! 201 00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:16,320 So, that's how your son described the attack? 202 00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:19,220 "Santa took daddy up the chimney"? 203 00:14:19,250 --> 00:14:21,150 That's what he says, yes. 204 00:14:21,180 --> 00:14:22,520 And where were you? 205 00:14:22,550 --> 00:14:23,750 I was asleep. 206 00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:26,020 And all of a sudden... 207 00:14:27,250 --> 00:14:29,250 i was being dragged out of bed, screaming. 208 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:31,320 Did you see the attacker? 209 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:35,450 It was dark, and he hit me. 210 00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:36,720 He knocked me out. 211 00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:39,280 I'm sorry. I know this is hard. 212 00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:42,420 Yeah... um, mrs. Caldwell, 213 00:14:42,450 --> 00:14:44,750 Where did you get that wreath above the fireplace? 214 00:14:51,350 --> 00:14:53,180 Excuse me? 215 00:14:57,350 --> 00:14:59,750 Just curious, you know. 216 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:03,850 Wreaths, huh? 217 00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:05,750 Sure you didn't want to ask her about her shoes? 218 00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:07,650 I saw some nice handbags in the foyer. 219 00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:09,950 We've seen that wreath before, dean. 220 00:15:09,980 --> 00:15:11,020 Where? 221 00:15:11,050 --> 00:15:13,650 The walshes'. Yesterday. 222 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:16,120 I know,i was just testing you. 223 00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:23,420 Yeah. All right. Well, keep looking, would you? 224 00:15:23,450 --> 00:15:24,980 Thanks, bobby. 225 00:15:28,780 --> 00:15:30,450 What did bobby say? 226 00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:32,420 Uh, that we're morons. 227 00:15:32,450 --> 00:15:33,850 He also said 228 00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:36,520 That it was probably meadowsweet in those wreaths. 229 00:15:36,550 --> 00:15:38,620 Wow! Amazing. 230 00:15:38,650 --> 00:15:40,450 What the hell is meadowsweet? 231 00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:41,850 It's pretty rare, 232 00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:43,820 And it's probably the most powerful plant in pagan lore. 233 00:15:43,850 --> 00:15:45,980 Pagan lore? Yeah. 234 00:15:46,020 --> 00:15:48,680 See, they used meadowsweet for human sacrifices. 235 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:51,150 It was kind of like a... chum for their gods. 236 00:15:51,180 --> 00:15:53,450 Gods were drawn to it, and they'd stop by 237 00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:55,220 And snack on whatever was the nearest human. 238 00:15:55,250 --> 00:15:57,350 Why would somebody be using that for christmas wreaths? 239 00:15:57,380 --> 00:15:59,320 It's not as crazy as it sounds, dean. 240 00:15:59,350 --> 00:16:02,050 I mean, pretty much every christmas tradition is pagan. 241 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:03,980 Christmas is Jesus' birthday. 242 00:16:04,020 --> 00:16:06,450 No, Jesus' birthday was probably in the fall. 243 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,820 It was actually the winter solstice festival 244 00:16:08,850 --> 00:16:11,150 That was co-Opted by the church and renamed "christmas." 245 00:16:11,180 --> 00:16:13,350 But the yule log, the tree, even santa's red suit 246 00:16:13,380 --> 00:16:14,980 That's all remnants of pagan worship. 247 00:16:15,020 --> 00:16:16,450 How do you know that? 248 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:17,920 What are you gonna tell me next? 249 00:16:17,950 --> 00:16:19,680 Easter bunny's jewish? 250 00:16:21,220 --> 00:16:23,750 So, you think we're dealing with a pagan god? 251 00:16:23,780 --> 00:16:27,880 Yeah, probably hold nickar, god of the winter solstice. 252 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:31,050 And all these martha stewart wannabes, 253 00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:32,850 Buying these fancy wreaths... 254 00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:35,620 It's pretty much like putting a neon sign on your front door 255 00:16:35,650 --> 00:16:36,720 Saying,"come kill us. " 256 00:16:36,750 --> 00:16:38,320 Great. 257 00:16:39,780 --> 00:16:41,420 When you sacrifice to hold nickar, 258 00:16:41,450 --> 00:16:43,420 Guess what he gives you in return. 259 00:16:43,450 --> 00:16:44,820 Lap dances, hopefully. 260 00:16:44,850 --> 00:16:46,150 Mild weather. 261 00:16:48,750 --> 00:16:50,480 Like no snow in the middle of december 262 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:52,280 In the middle of michigan. For instance. 263 00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:53,750 Do we know how to kill it yet? 264 00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:55,380 No, bobby's working on that right now. 265 00:16:55,420 --> 00:16:57,720 We got to figure out where they're selling those wreaths. 266 00:16:57,750 --> 00:17:00,320 You think they're selling them on purpose? 267 00:17:00,350 --> 00:17:02,520 Feeding the victims to this thing? 268 00:17:04,020 --> 00:17:05,420 Let's find out. 269 00:17:14,150 --> 00:17:15,380 Help you boys? 270 00:17:15,420 --> 00:17:16,850 Uh, hope so. 271 00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:19,920 Uh, we were playing jenga with the walshes the other night, 272 00:17:19,950 --> 00:17:22,820 And he hasn't shut up since about this christmas wreath. 273 00:17:22,850 --> 00:17:24,820 I don't know. You tell him. 274 00:17:24,850 --> 00:17:26,680 Sure. 275 00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:29,920 It was yummy. 276 00:17:33,750 --> 00:17:36,380 I sell a lot of wreaths, guys. 277 00:17:36,420 --> 00:17:38,450 Right,right, but you see, 278 00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:40,420 This one would have been really special. 279 00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:44,580 It had,uh, it had,uh, green leaves, um, white buds on it. 280 00:17:44,620 --> 00:17:46,950 It might have been made of, uh, meadowsweet? 281 00:17:46,980 --> 00:17:49,550 Well... aren't you a fussy one? 282 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,280 He is. 283 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:55,180 Anyway,i know the one you're talking about. 284 00:17:55,220 --> 00:17:56,620 I'm all out. 285 00:17:56,650 --> 00:17:58,950 Seems like this meadowsweet stuff's rare and expensive. 286 00:17:58,980 --> 00:18:00,420 Why make wreaths out of it? 287 00:18:00,450 --> 00:18:02,120 Beats me. I didn't make them. 288 00:18:02,150 --> 00:18:03,320 Who did? 289 00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:04,680 Madge carrigan a local lady. 290 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:07,480 Said the wreaths were so special, she gave them for free. 291 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:09,450 She didn't charge you? Nope. 292 00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:10,950 Did you sell them for free? 293 00:18:10,980 --> 00:18:12,180 Hell, no. It's christmas. 294 00:18:12,220 --> 00:18:14,020 People pay a buttload for this crap. 295 00:18:14,050 --> 00:18:15,120 That's the spirit. 296 00:18:17,580 --> 00:18:21,220 How much do you think a meadowsweet wreath would cost? 297 00:18:21,250 --> 00:18:23,150 A couple hundred dollars, at least. 298 00:18:23,180 --> 00:18:25,250 This lady's giving them away for free? 299 00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:26,950 What do you think about that? 300 00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:30,750 Well, sounds pretty suspicious. 301 00:18:32,250 --> 00:18:35,250 Remember that wreath dad brought home that one year? 302 00:18:36,750 --> 00:18:39,380 Do you mean the one he stole from, like,a liquor store? 303 00:18:39,420 --> 00:18:42,820 Yeah, it was a bunch of empty beer cans. 304 00:18:42,850 --> 00:18:44,380 That thing was great. 305 00:18:44,420 --> 00:18:46,550 I bet if i looked around hard enough, 306 00:18:46,580 --> 00:18:49,180 I could probably find one just like it. 307 00:18:49,220 --> 00:18:50,550 All right... 308 00:18:50,580 --> 00:18:52,420 Dude... 309 00:18:52,450 --> 00:18:54,520 What's going on with you? What? 310 00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:57,020 I mean, since when are you bing crosby all of a sudden? 311 00:18:57,050 --> 00:18:59,220 Why do you want to do christmas so bad? 312 00:18:59,250 --> 00:19:01,020 Why are you so against it? 313 00:19:01,050 --> 00:19:02,820 Were your childhood memories that traumatic? 314 00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:04,320 No, that has nothing to do with it. 315 00:19:04,350 --> 00:19:06,150 Then what? 316 00:19:06,180 --> 00:19:07,980 I mean,i-I just -I don't get it. 317 00:19:08,020 --> 00:19:10,180 You haven't talked about christmas in years. 318 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:14,680 Well, yeah. 319 00:19:16,180 --> 00:19:17,620 This is my last year. 320 00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:25,820 I know. 321 00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:30,320 That's why i can't. 322 00:19:31,980 --> 00:19:33,520 What do you mean? 323 00:19:36,950 --> 00:19:40,750 I mean i can't just sit around, 324 00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:43,980 Drinking eggnog, pretending everything's okay 325 00:19:44,020 --> 00:19:46,720 When i know next christmas you'll be dead. 326 00:19:51,580 --> 00:19:52,980 I just can't. 327 00:20:07,950 --> 00:20:09,450 Thought you went out. 328 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:12,820 Yeah. To get you dinner. 329 00:20:12,850 --> 00:20:16,080 Don't forget your vegetables. 330 00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:27,380 I know why you keep a gun under your pillow. 331 00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:34,250 No, you don't. Stay out of my stuff. 332 00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:36,980 And i know why we lay salt down everywhere we go. 333 00:20:37,020 --> 00:20:39,380 No, you don't. Shut up. 334 00:20:45,850 --> 00:20:48,580 Where'd you get that? That's dad's! 335 00:20:48,620 --> 00:20:50,820 He's gonna kick your ass for reading that. 336 00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:52,280 Are monsters real? 337 00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:54,280 What? You're crazy. 338 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:55,280 Tell me. 339 00:21:06,180 --> 00:21:10,220 I swear, if you ever tell dad i told you any of this, 340 00:21:10,250 --> 00:21:11,780 I will end you. 341 00:21:11,820 --> 00:21:13,420 Promise. 342 00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:23,220 Well, the first thing you have to know 343 00:21:23,250 --> 00:21:26,220 Is we have the coolest dad in the world. 344 00:21:26,250 --> 00:21:27,950 He's a superhero. 345 00:21:27,980 --> 00:21:30,220 He is? Yeah. 346 00:21:30,250 --> 00:21:32,780 Monsters are real. 347 00:21:34,150 --> 00:21:36,050 Dad fights them. 348 00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:37,850 He's fighting them right now. 349 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,780 But dad said the monsters under my bed weren't real. 350 00:21:40,820 --> 00:21:44,080 That's 'cause he had already checked under there. 351 00:21:45,850 --> 00:21:47,620 But,yeah, they're real. 352 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:50,220 Almost everything's real. 353 00:21:50,250 --> 00:21:51,820 Is santa real? 354 00:21:51,850 --> 00:21:54,120 No. 355 00:21:57,550 --> 00:22:00,580 If monsters are real, then they could get us. 356 00:22:00,620 --> 00:22:03,320 They could get me. Dad's not gonna let them get you. 357 00:22:03,350 --> 00:22:04,650 But what if they get him? 358 00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:07,080 They aren't gonna get dad. 359 00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:09,020 Dad's,like, the best. 360 00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:13,120 I read in dad's book that they got mom. 361 00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:18,580 It's complicated, sam. 362 00:22:18,620 --> 00:22:20,420 If they got mom, they can get dad. 363 00:22:20,450 --> 00:22:22,750 And if they get dad, they can get us. 364 00:22:22,780 --> 00:22:24,850 It's not like that. 365 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:28,580 Okay, dad's fine. 366 00:22:28,620 --> 00:22:30,320 We're fine. 367 00:22:30,350 --> 00:22:31,850 Trust me. 368 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:39,520 You okay? 369 00:22:39,550 --> 00:22:41,850 Yeah. 370 00:22:44,620 --> 00:22:48,380 Hey, dad's gonna be here for christmas... 371 00:22:48,420 --> 00:22:50,020 Just like he always is. 372 00:22:53,220 --> 00:22:55,550 I just want to go to sleep, okay? 373 00:22:59,850 --> 00:23:02,580 Yeah, okay. 374 00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:09,020 It'll all be better when you wake up. 375 00:23:12,250 --> 00:23:14,180 You'll see. 376 00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,250 Promise. 377 00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:36,850 This is where mrs. Wreath lives, huh? 378 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:41,350 Can't you just feel the evil pagan vibe? 379 00:23:47,950 --> 00:23:49,750 Yes? 380 00:23:49,780 --> 00:23:52,580 Please tell me you're themadge carrigan who makes the meadowsweet wreaths. 381 00:23:52,620 --> 00:23:54,150 Why, yes,i am. 382 00:23:54,180 --> 00:23:55,280 Ha! Bingo. 383 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:57,220 Well, we were just admiring your wreaths 384 00:23:57,250 --> 00:23:59,920 In mr. Sylar's place the other day. 385 00:23:59,950 --> 00:24:01,150 You were? 386 00:24:01,180 --> 00:24:02,820 Well, isn't that meadowsweet 387 00:24:02,850 --> 00:24:04,780 Just the finest - Smelling thing you ever smelled? 388 00:24:04,820 --> 00:24:06,120 It sure is. 389 00:24:06,150 --> 00:24:08,580 But the problem is, is all your wreaths had sold out 390 00:24:08,620 --> 00:24:11,380 Before we got the chance to buy one. Oh, fudge! 391 00:24:11,420 --> 00:24:13,750 You wouldn't have another one that we could buy from you? 392 00:24:13,780 --> 00:24:17,080 No,i'm afraid those were the only ones i had for this season. 393 00:24:17,120 --> 00:24:18,450 Tell me something - 394 00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:20,880 Why did you decide to make them out of meadowsweet? 395 00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:22,950 Why, the smell, of course! 396 00:24:22,980 --> 00:24:25,220 I don't think i've ever smelled anything finer. 397 00:24:25,250 --> 00:24:26,920 Yeah,um, you mentioned that. 398 00:24:26,950 --> 00:24:28,620 What's going on, honey? 399 00:24:28,650 --> 00:24:31,920 Well, just some nice boys asking about my wreaths, dear. 400 00:24:31,950 --> 00:24:34,120 Oh, the wreaths are fine. Fine wreaths. 401 00:24:34,150 --> 00:24:37,320 Oh, care for some peanut brittle? 402 00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:40,750 We're okay. 403 00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:46,950 I knew it! 404 00:24:46,980 --> 00:24:49,120 Something was way off with those two. 405 00:24:49,150 --> 00:24:50,250 What'd you find? 406 00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:51,650 The carrigans lived in seattle last year, 407 00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:53,450 Where two abductions took place right around christmas. 408 00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:55,320 They moved here in january. 409 00:24:55,350 --> 00:24:57,980 All that christmas crap in their house wasn't boughs of holly. 410 00:24:58,020 --> 00:24:59,480 It was vervain and mint. 411 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:01,720 Pagan stuff? Serious pagan stuff. 412 00:25:01,750 --> 00:25:03,880 So,what, ozzie and harriet are keeping a pagan god 413 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:06,320 Hidden underneath their plastic-Covered couch? 414 00:25:06,350 --> 00:25:07,850 I don't know. We got to check them out. 415 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:09,350 So, what about bobby? 416 00:25:09,380 --> 00:25:12,350 He's sure evergreen stakes will kill this thing, right? 417 00:25:12,380 --> 00:25:14,780 Yeah, he's sure. 418 00:25:40,380 --> 00:25:42,480 See? Plastic. 419 00:26:19,820 --> 00:26:21,650 Hey, dean. 420 00:27:50,180 --> 00:27:51,450 Sam! 421 00:28:04,850 --> 00:28:08,250 Gosh,i wish you boys hadn't come down here. 422 00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:29,780 Dean? 423 00:28:29,820 --> 00:28:32,150 You okay? 424 00:28:32,180 --> 00:28:33,880 Yeah,i think so. 425 00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:39,150 So,i guess we're dealing with mr. And mrs. God. 426 00:28:39,180 --> 00:28:41,220 Nice to know. 427 00:28:41,250 --> 00:28:44,220 Ooh, and here we thought you two lazybones 428 00:28:44,250 --> 00:28:47,380 Were gonna sleep straight through all the fun stuff. 429 00:28:47,420 --> 00:28:49,820 Miss all this? Nah, we're partyers. 430 00:28:49,850 --> 00:28:51,650 Isn't he a kick in the pants, honey? 431 00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:53,880 You're hunters is what you are. 432 00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:55,380 And you're pagan gods. 433 00:28:55,420 --> 00:28:58,150 So, why don't we just call it even and go our separate ways? 434 00:28:58,180 --> 00:28:59,880 So you can bring more hunters and kill us? 435 00:28:59,920 --> 00:29:01,820 I don't think so! 436 00:29:01,850 --> 00:29:04,050 You should have thought about that before snacking on humans. 437 00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:05,780 Oh,now, don't get all wet. 438 00:29:05,820 --> 00:29:10,280 Oh,why, we used to take over a hundred tributes a year. 439 00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:12,780 And that's a fact. 440 00:29:12,820 --> 00:29:15,880 Now what do we take? What, two? Three? 441 00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:18,880 Hardy boys here make five. 442 00:29:20,750 --> 00:29:22,750 Now, that's not so bad, is it? 443 00:29:22,780 --> 00:29:25,250 You say it like that, you guys are the cunninghams. 444 00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:27,380 You, mister, better show us a little respect. 445 00:29:27,420 --> 00:29:30,250 Or what? You'll eat us? 446 00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:31,280 Not so fast. 447 00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:33,920 There's rituals to be followed first. 448 00:29:33,950 --> 00:29:36,180 Oh, we're just sticklers for ritual. 449 00:29:36,220 --> 00:29:38,180 And you know what kicks off the whole shebang? 450 00:29:38,220 --> 00:29:40,080 Let me guess - Meadowsweet. 451 00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:42,250 Oh, shucks. - You're all out of wreaths. 452 00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:44,580 I guess we'll just have to cancel the sacrifice, huh? 453 00:29:44,620 --> 00:29:47,750 Oh, don't be such a gloomy gus. 454 00:29:47,780 --> 00:29:49,750 There. 455 00:29:52,250 --> 00:29:54,650 Don't they just look darling? 456 00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:56,180 Good enough to eat. 457 00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:00,720 All righty-Roo. Step number two. 458 00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:07,150 Sammy. 459 00:30:07,180 --> 00:30:07,980 Sammy! 460 00:30:08,020 --> 00:30:10,280 D-Don't! 461 00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:12,420 Leave him alone, you son of a bitch! 462 00:30:12,450 --> 00:30:15,820 Hear how they talk to us? To gods? 463 00:30:15,850 --> 00:30:18,980 Listen,pal, back in the day, we were worshiped by millions. 464 00:30:19,020 --> 00:30:21,450 Times have changed! Tell me about it. 465 00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:24,350 All of a sudden, this Jesus character is the hot new thing in town. 466 00:30:24,380 --> 00:30:26,650 All of a sudden, our altars are being burned down, 467 00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:28,920 And we're being hunted down like common monsters. 468 00:30:28,950 --> 00:30:33,420 But did we say a peep? Oh,no,no,no, we did not. 469 00:30:33,450 --> 00:30:35,450 Two millennium. 470 00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:39,480 We kept a low profile. We got jobs,a mortgage. 471 00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:41,080 We -What was that word, dear? 472 00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:42,480 We assimilated. 473 00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:44,550 Yeah, we assimilated. 474 00:30:44,580 --> 00:30:47,220 Why, we play bridge on tuesdays and fridays. 475 00:30:47,250 --> 00:30:48,980 We're just like everybody else. 476 00:30:49,020 --> 00:30:51,120 You're not blending in as smooth as you think, lady. 477 00:30:51,150 --> 00:30:54,220 This might pinch a bit, dear. 478 00:30:54,250 --> 00:30:56,050 You bitch! 479 00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:57,750 Oh, my goodness me! 480 00:30:57,780 --> 00:31:00,280 Somebody owes a nickel to the swear jar. 481 00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:03,180 Oh, do you know what i say when i feel like swearing? 482 00:31:03,220 --> 00:31:04,820 "Fudge. " 483 00:31:04,850 --> 00:31:07,050 I'll try and remember that! 484 00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:09,050 You boys have no idea how lucky you are. 485 00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:11,750 There was a time when kids came from miles around 486 00:31:11,780 --> 00:31:13,620 Just to be sitting where you are. 487 00:31:13,650 --> 00:31:16,720 What do you think you're doing with those? 488 00:31:16,750 --> 00:31:19,520 You fudging touch me again, i'll fudging kill you! 489 00:31:19,550 --> 00:31:21,020 Very good. 490 00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:31,180 No, don't. 491 00:31:39,380 --> 00:31:42,280 Oh, we've got a winner! 492 00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:57,180 What else, dear? 493 00:31:57,220 --> 00:32:00,680 Well, let's see. Uh,fingernail, blood... 494 00:32:03,050 --> 00:32:04,520 I forgot the tooth! 495 00:32:04,550 --> 00:32:06,780 Oh, dear! 496 00:32:06,820 --> 00:32:08,680 Merry christmas, sam. 497 00:32:14,780 --> 00:32:17,850 Open wide... and say,"ahh. " 498 00:32:21,950 --> 00:32:24,550 Somebody gonna get that? 499 00:32:26,380 --> 00:32:28,080 You should get that. 500 00:32:30,980 --> 00:32:32,680 Come on. 501 00:32:35,650 --> 00:32:37,780 Merry christmas! 502 00:32:37,820 --> 00:32:39,680 I told you i smelled fruitcake. 503 00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:41,250 You shouldn't have. 504 00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:42,820 Oh, bite your tongue. It's my pleasure. 505 00:32:42,850 --> 00:32:44,080 It looks scrumptious! 506 00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:46,220 Neal and i are going caroling. You care to join? 507 00:32:46,250 --> 00:32:47,450 You know, we would... 508 00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:50,420 It's my back - Darn thing's giving me fits. 509 00:32:50,450 --> 00:32:52,080 Oh,well, that's a shame. 510 00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:54,250 Oh, well. Merry christmas. - And to you,too, dear. 511 00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:57,220 Hey, are we still on for bridge tomorrow? -With bells on! 512 00:32:57,250 --> 00:32:59,350 Yes! Okay, bye. - Bye-Bye. 513 00:33:07,980 --> 00:33:10,120 Now, where were we? 514 00:33:24,050 --> 00:33:25,950 What do we do now? 515 00:33:25,980 --> 00:33:28,250 The evergreen stake's in the basement! 516 00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:30,280 Well, we need more evergreen, dean! 517 00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:33,950 I think i just found us some more. 518 00:33:33,980 --> 00:33:36,720 Help me get this. 519 00:33:36,750 --> 00:33:37,780 Go! 520 00:33:39,650 --> 00:33:41,920 Come on! 521 00:34:08,380 --> 00:34:10,850 You little thing... 522 00:34:11,950 --> 00:34:13,850 I loved that tree. 523 00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:26,420 Madge! 524 00:34:57,180 --> 00:34:59,420 Merry christmas. 525 00:35:16,250 --> 00:35:18,020 Sam, wake up. 526 00:35:20,720 --> 00:35:23,020 Dad was here. Look what he brought. 527 00:35:23,050 --> 00:35:25,080 Dad was here? 528 00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:28,050 Yeah. Look at this. We made a killing. 529 00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:31,220 Why didn't he try to wake me up? 530 00:35:31,250 --> 00:35:34,520 He tried to, like a thousand times. 531 00:35:34,550 --> 00:35:36,620 He did? 532 00:35:36,650 --> 00:35:40,350 Yeah. Did i tell you he would give us christmas or what? 533 00:35:41,720 --> 00:35:42,880 Go on, dive in. 534 00:35:57,080 --> 00:35:59,350 What is it? 535 00:35:59,380 --> 00:36:01,420 Sapphire barbie? 536 00:36:01,450 --> 00:36:04,620 Dad probably thinks you're a girl. 537 00:36:04,650 --> 00:36:05,680 Shut up. 538 00:36:05,720 --> 00:36:07,150 Open that one. 539 00:36:16,050 --> 00:36:17,650 Dad never showed, did he? 540 00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:19,380 Yeah, he did,i swear. 541 00:36:19,420 --> 00:36:22,450 Dean... where'd you get all this stuff? 542 00:36:27,420 --> 00:36:29,320 Nice house up the block. 543 00:36:31,580 --> 00:36:34,550 I swear i didn't know they were chick presents. 544 00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:39,980 Look,i'm sure dad would have been here if he could. 545 00:36:40,020 --> 00:36:41,820 If he's alive. 546 00:36:41,850 --> 00:36:42,980 Don't say that. 547 00:36:43,020 --> 00:36:44,520 Of course he's alive. 548 00:36:44,550 --> 00:36:46,220 He's dad. 549 00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:57,180 Here. Take this. 550 00:36:57,220 --> 00:36:59,650 No. No, that's for dad. 551 00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:02,520 Dad lied to me. 552 00:37:02,550 --> 00:37:04,350 I want you to have it. 553 00:37:07,780 --> 00:37:10,180 You sure? - I'm sure. 554 00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:31,150 Thank you, sam. I-I love it. 555 00:37:50,020 --> 00:37:52,520 Hey. You get the beer? 556 00:37:52,550 --> 00:37:54,520 What's all this? 557 00:37:54,550 --> 00:37:57,550 What do you think it is? It's - It's christmas. 558 00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:05,220 What made you change your mind? 559 00:38:07,750 --> 00:38:09,750 Here, uh... 560 00:38:09,780 --> 00:38:12,280 Try the eggnog. 561 00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:15,080 Let me know if it needs some more kick. 562 00:38:20,050 --> 00:38:21,380 No, we're good. 563 00:38:21,420 --> 00:38:22,550 Yeah? - Yeah. 564 00:38:22,580 --> 00:38:25,720 Good. Well,uh, have a seat. 565 00:38:25,750 --> 00:38:28,450 Let's do christmas stuff or whatever. 566 00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:30,350 All right, first thing's first. 567 00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:40,850 Merry christmas, sam. 568 00:38:42,980 --> 00:38:45,620 Where'd you get these? - Someplace special. 569 00:38:46,720 --> 00:38:48,450 The gas mart down the street. 570 00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:50,120 Open them up. 571 00:38:50,150 --> 00:38:53,280 Well, great minds think alike, dean. 572 00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:55,280 Really? 573 00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:56,980 There you go. 574 00:38:57,020 --> 00:38:59,020 Come on! 575 00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:03,780 Skin mags! 576 00:39:03,820 --> 00:39:05,780 And... 577 00:39:05,820 --> 00:39:07,080 Shaving cream. 578 00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:09,150 You like? 579 00:39:09,180 --> 00:39:12,150 Yeah. Yeah. 580 00:39:18,780 --> 00:39:20,320 Look at this 581 00:39:20,350 --> 00:39:22,180 Fuel for me and fuel for my baby. 582 00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:25,150 These are awesome. Thanks. 583 00:39:25,180 --> 00:39:26,950 Good. 584 00:39:30,720 --> 00:39:32,320 Merry christmas, bro. 585 00:39:34,380 --> 00:39:36,380 Here, merry christmas. 586 00:40:08,250 --> 00:40:11,120 Do you feel like watching the game? 587 00:40:11,150 --> 00:40:12,450 Absolutely. 588 00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:15,080 All right.