1 00:00:13,716 --> 00:00:16,904 Synchro VO: IceFre@k 2 00:01:19,715 --> 00:01:21,311 Radio around here sucks. 3 00:01:24,511 --> 00:01:26,796 Come on man, job's don't get much waver than this. 4 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:31,472 Dead vic, with a hole on the neck, body drained of blood, 5 00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:34,702 and a witness who swears up and down that it was a vampire. 6 00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:38,035 No, I... I agree. 7 00:01:38,155 --> 00:01:39,683 It's a hell of a case. 8 00:01:42,009 --> 00:01:43,838 A little more gusto, please. 9 00:01:44,306 --> 00:01:47,159 It's just... the world is coming to an end. 10 00:01:47,279 --> 00:01:49,020 Things are a little complicated? 11 00:01:49,140 --> 00:01:51,470 Yeah, well, we can't save the world, not today anyway. 12 00:01:51,590 --> 00:01:54,497 But what we can do is chop off some vamps' heads. 13 00:01:55,269 --> 00:01:57,159 Come on, man, it's like the good old days. 14 00:01:57,279 --> 00:01:59,344 An honest-to-goodness monster hunt. 15 00:02:01,092 --> 00:02:03,774 It's about time the Winchesters got back to tackling 16 00:02:04,211 --> 00:02:06,632 a straightforward, black-and-white case. 17 00:02:48,725 --> 00:02:50,909 We still got to see the new "raiders" movie. 18 00:02:51,029 --> 00:02:52,088 Saw it. 19 00:02:53,389 --> 00:02:54,469 Without me? 20 00:02:54,882 --> 00:02:56,093 You were in hell. 21 00:02:56,833 --> 00:02:58,185 That's no excuse. 22 00:03:01,751 --> 00:03:02,828 Big pretzel! 23 00:03:07,409 --> 00:03:08,409 Thank you. 24 00:03:10,255 --> 00:03:11,255 Thank you. 25 00:03:14,061 --> 00:03:15,220 Guten tag. 26 00:03:17,201 --> 00:03:18,407 "Guten tag" yourself. 27 00:03:26,254 --> 00:03:27,541 Looks like that's our man. 28 00:03:30,959 --> 00:03:32,004 Sheriff dietrich. 29 00:03:33,499 --> 00:03:35,161 Are you the boys from the fed? 30 00:03:35,281 --> 00:03:37,218 Agents angus and young. 31 00:03:37,563 --> 00:03:40,387 We called ahead about your, uh, problem. 32 00:03:41,039 --> 00:03:42,238 Right. Um... 33 00:03:42,979 --> 00:03:46,060 I'll tell you what, why don't we talk this out away from the crowd, huh? 34 00:03:54,745 --> 00:03:58,505 Marissa wright, 26, just up from lockhard for the'fest. 35 00:04:00,913 --> 00:04:01,951 Terrible. 36 00:04:02,223 --> 00:04:03,327 Just terrible. 37 00:04:04,738 --> 00:04:07,406 It's the last thing this town needs at peak tourist season. 38 00:04:09,478 --> 00:04:11,585 Definitely the last thing marissa wright needed. 39 00:04:16,535 --> 00:04:18,227 - What the hell? - Yeah, you got me — 40 00:04:18,347 --> 00:04:21,053 I mean, this killer's some kind of grade-"a" wacko, right? 41 00:04:21,748 --> 00:04:24,598 I mean, some satan-worshipping, A. nne rice-reading, gothic, 42 00:04:24,758 --> 00:04:26,058 psycho vampire wannabe. 43 00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:29,349 Sheriff, in your report, you mentioned a witness. 44 00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:31,601 Yeah, I wished I didn't. 45 00:04:31,721 --> 00:04:33,232 But our witness insisted. 46 00:04:33,910 --> 00:04:35,140 That's ed brewer. 47 00:04:35,374 --> 00:04:37,569 Not exactly what you'd call reliable. 48 00:05:03,505 --> 00:05:04,555 I remember you. 49 00:05:04,715 --> 00:05:06,181 And I remember you... 50 00:05:06,301 --> 00:05:07,224 "jamie." 51 00:05:07,776 --> 00:05:09,422 I never forget a pretty... 52 00:05:10,123 --> 00:05:11,230 Everything. 53 00:05:11,942 --> 00:05:13,522 We're looking for ed brewer. 54 00:05:13,682 --> 00:05:15,420 What do you want with ed? 55 00:05:15,540 --> 00:05:16,890 Well, we are... 56 00:05:18,271 --> 00:05:19,531 federal agents. 57 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:22,733 Mr. Brewer was witness to a serious crime. We just — 58 00:05:22,853 --> 00:05:24,450 Wait a minute. You're a fed? 59 00:05:25,771 --> 00:05:28,068 Wow, you don't come on like a fed. 60 00:05:29,775 --> 00:05:30,789 Seriously? 61 00:05:33,473 --> 00:05:35,294 I'm a maverick, ma'am. 62 00:05:36,430 --> 00:05:37,985 A rebel with a badge. 63 00:05:38,229 --> 00:05:39,997 One thing I don't play by — 64 00:05:40,117 --> 00:05:41,287 The rules. 65 00:05:44,171 --> 00:05:45,290 Okay, maverick. 66 00:05:45,410 --> 00:05:48,268 Um, so, where can we find Mr. Brewer? 67 00:05:58,499 --> 00:06:00,194 I told the cops everything I saw. 68 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:03,193 No one believes me. 69 00:06:04,024 --> 00:06:06,283 Why should you be any different? 70 00:06:06,780 --> 00:06:09,341 Believe me, Mr. Brewer, we're different. 71 00:06:11,434 --> 00:06:14,750 I spoke the god's honest truth, and now I'm the town joke. 72 00:06:14,910 --> 00:06:17,195 Marissa wright's murder is no joke to us. 73 00:06:18,059 --> 00:06:21,087 And we want to hear everything, no matter how strange it may seem. 74 00:06:21,207 --> 00:06:23,592 We have a lot of experience with strange. 75 00:06:34,803 --> 00:06:36,327 It was just after midnight. 76 00:06:36,447 --> 00:06:39,051 I just left here, and like I do every night, 77 00:06:39,171 --> 00:06:41,151 I cut through the park on the way home. 78 00:06:41,773 --> 00:06:44,029 At first, I thought it was a couple kissing. 79 00:06:44,465 --> 00:06:45,695 But she was... 80 00:06:47,290 --> 00:06:48,774 Struggling too much. 81 00:06:49,455 --> 00:06:52,178 And this man, he was... 82 00:06:53,367 --> 00:06:55,196 He was biting her neck. 83 00:06:56,496 --> 00:06:57,960 Can you describe her assailant? 84 00:06:58,120 --> 00:06:59,419 Oh, he was a vampire. 85 00:07:01,043 --> 00:07:03,173 Okay, right. And by that, you mean — 86 00:07:03,354 --> 00:07:05,324 You know, a vampire. 87 00:07:08,413 --> 00:07:10,639 - So, he looked like... - He looked like a vampire 88 00:07:11,257 --> 00:07:13,291 you know, with the fangs and the slicked-back hair 89 00:07:13,411 --> 00:07:16,270 and the fancy cape and the little medallion thingy on the ribbon. 90 00:07:17,589 --> 00:07:19,551 - You mean like a dracula? - Exactly. 91 00:07:19,794 --> 00:07:21,024 Like a dracula. 92 00:07:22,071 --> 00:07:23,443 Right down to the accent. 93 00:07:23,603 --> 00:07:25,404 - The accent. - Yep. 94 00:07:27,344 --> 00:07:28,481 What did he say? 95 00:07:28,888 --> 00:07:30,412 You know, something like... 96 00:07:31,642 --> 00:07:33,453 "stay away, mortal! 97 00:07:34,182 --> 00:07:36,041 The night is mine!" 98 00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:42,523 You do believe me, don't you? 99 00:07:46,182 --> 00:07:48,927 They must be here following up on that murdered woman. 100 00:07:49,331 --> 00:07:51,363 Crazy ed and his vampire story. 101 00:07:51,483 --> 00:07:53,741 He might be weird, but he's not crazy. 102 00:07:53,861 --> 00:07:56,099 You're just saying that 'cause the guy has a crush on you 103 00:07:56,219 --> 00:07:57,561 and he tips you in $20s. 104 00:07:58,964 --> 00:07:59,964 Lucy. 105 00:08:03,597 --> 00:08:05,652 So, you got a beer back there for me? 106 00:08:05,812 --> 00:08:07,487 I don't know, agent young. You off duty? 107 00:08:07,647 --> 00:08:08,732 And then some. 108 00:08:13,931 --> 00:08:15,829 So, what do you think? 109 00:08:16,278 --> 00:08:18,707 Goth, psycho vampire wannabe, right? 110 00:08:18,971 --> 00:08:20,549 Definitely not our kind of case. 111 00:08:20,669 --> 00:08:21,669 Agreed. 112 00:08:22,101 --> 00:08:23,371 But who cares? 113 00:08:25,109 --> 00:08:27,770 Room's paid for, and it's oktoberfest. 114 00:08:28,176 --> 00:08:29,359 Come on, brother. 115 00:08:29,792 --> 00:08:31,051 Beer and bar wenches. 116 00:08:31,171 --> 00:08:34,556 Pretty sure women today don't react well to the whole "wench" thing. 117 00:08:36,464 --> 00:08:38,498 Hey, bar wench, where's that beer? 118 00:08:38,618 --> 00:08:40,103 Coming up, good sir! 119 00:08:42,967 --> 00:08:44,942 Dude, oktoberfest. 120 00:08:46,229 --> 00:08:47,377 There you go. 121 00:08:47,631 --> 00:08:48,851 What can I get you? 122 00:08:48,984 --> 00:08:50,197 Oh, he doesn't drink. 123 00:08:50,638 --> 00:08:51,988 He's a christian scientist. 124 00:08:52,108 --> 00:08:53,533 Doesn't even take aspirin. 125 00:08:53,981 --> 00:08:55,911 He's a real drag on stakeouts. 126 00:08:56,185 --> 00:08:57,287 You're funny. 127 00:08:57,568 --> 00:08:58,872 I'm a lot more than that. 128 00:08:59,234 --> 00:09:01,113 I'd love to get a chance to show you the rest. 129 00:09:01,233 --> 00:09:02,661 What time you get off? 130 00:09:02,915 --> 00:09:04,336 Like I said, "funny." 131 00:09:07,873 --> 00:09:10,119 Man, it is time to right some wrongs. 132 00:09:10,239 --> 00:09:11,134 Come again? 133 00:09:12,629 --> 00:09:13,817 Look at me. 134 00:09:14,284 --> 00:09:16,932 I came back from the furnace without any of my old scars, right? 135 00:09:17,637 --> 00:09:20,128 You know, bullet wounds, knife cuts, 136 00:09:20,248 --> 00:09:22,427 none of the off-angled fingers from all the breaks. 137 00:09:22,547 --> 00:09:24,398 My hide is as smooth as a baby's bottom, 138 00:09:24,558 --> 00:09:26,108 which leads me to conclude, 139 00:09:27,097 --> 00:09:28,097 sadly... 140 00:09:29,343 --> 00:09:31,487 That my virginity is intact. 141 00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:33,240 What? 142 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:35,284 - I have been re-hymenated. - Re... 143 00:09:37,045 --> 00:09:37,953 please. 144 00:09:38,580 --> 00:09:41,248 Dean, maybe angels can pull you out of hell, but no one could do that. 145 00:09:41,408 --> 00:09:44,078 Brother, I have been re-hymenated. 146 00:09:44,433 --> 00:09:46,503 And the dude will not abide. 147 00:09:46,750 --> 00:09:47,961 All right, dude. 148 00:09:48,081 --> 00:09:50,924 Well, you go do whatever you got to do, and I'm gonna go 149 00:09:51,084 --> 00:09:53,202 back to the room and get some sleep. 150 00:10:00,853 --> 00:10:02,095 So? How'bout tonight? 151 00:10:02,215 --> 00:10:05,438 Oh, sorry. I promised lucy a girls' night out. 152 00:10:06,576 --> 00:10:08,567 Besides, no self-respecting 153 00:10:08,727 --> 00:10:12,052 bar wench lets herself get picked up by a customer on the first try. 154 00:10:12,172 --> 00:10:14,281 Well, I'm not a customer. I'm a federal agent. 155 00:10:15,017 --> 00:10:17,492 - Try again tomorrow, g-man. - I wish I could. 156 00:10:17,652 --> 00:10:19,714 I don't think we're staying on the case. 157 00:10:19,834 --> 00:10:21,533 Is it too weird for you? 158 00:10:22,336 --> 00:10:23,585 Not weird enough. 159 00:10:41,010 --> 00:10:42,010 Rick. 160 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:43,810 - Did you hear that? - What? 161 00:10:43,970 --> 00:10:45,145 It sounded like a wolf. 162 00:10:46,294 --> 00:10:48,153 Come on, Marie, don't change the subject. 163 00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:50,359 I told you what could happen to a man if he doesn't — 164 00:10:50,519 --> 00:10:52,429 - Those stories aren't true. - They are. 165 00:10:52,549 --> 00:10:53,195 Baby, 166 00:10:53,475 --> 00:10:57,324 if a man doesn't get the stuff out of his system regularly, it can back up 167 00:10:57,484 --> 00:10:58,901 and cause all kinds of... 168 00:10:59,328 --> 00:11:01,161 Medical-type problems. 169 00:11:26,976 --> 00:11:28,531 Do you hear that? 170 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:32,651 Anne marie, there aren't any wolves in pennsylvania. 171 00:11:51,275 --> 00:11:54,965 And then it just... it just tore rick into little pieces. 172 00:11:56,742 --> 00:12:00,929 Ma'am, we understand how hard this is, but can you describe the creature? 173 00:12:05,588 --> 00:12:07,498 It was a werewolf. 174 00:12:08,117 --> 00:12:08,979 A werewolf? 175 00:12:10,678 --> 00:12:12,121 - You're sure? - Oh, yeah. 176 00:12:12,241 --> 00:12:14,067 With the furry face and the black nose 177 00:12:14,227 --> 00:12:15,569 and the claws 178 00:12:15,957 --> 00:12:18,253 and the torn-up pants and shirt, 179 00:12:18,985 --> 00:12:20,865 like from the old movies. 180 00:12:26,453 --> 00:12:28,008 Okay, so... 181 00:12:29,979 --> 00:12:31,449 Thank you for your time. 182 00:12:39,072 --> 00:12:42,870 First a dracula and now a full-on movie-time wolf man? 183 00:12:42,990 --> 00:12:44,783 What the hell is going on in this town? 184 00:12:56,741 --> 00:12:57,736 Damn! 185 00:13:00,106 --> 00:13:01,179 All right. 186 00:13:02,331 --> 00:13:05,243 Whatever did this wasn't a psycho wannabe. 187 00:13:09,311 --> 00:13:10,879 Look at those bite marks. 188 00:13:11,394 --> 00:13:13,041 Right down to the bone... 189 00:13:13,711 --> 00:13:14,803 And deeper. 190 00:13:15,266 --> 00:13:17,497 Strong enough to tear a healthy man apart limb from limb. 191 00:13:17,617 --> 00:13:19,758 - Could be a werewolf. - Yeah, except, look. 192 00:13:20,082 --> 00:13:22,260 The heart's still there in one piece. 193 00:13:22,420 --> 00:13:24,870 - They never leave the heart behind. - Thus I reiterate — 194 00:13:24,990 --> 00:13:26,841 What the hell is going on? 195 00:13:27,166 --> 00:13:29,574 Well, I was hoping you boys could tell me. 196 00:13:30,295 --> 00:13:34,272 I just got a rush job back from the lab on those fibers we found on the body. 197 00:13:35,935 --> 00:13:38,049 Canine. Wolf hairs. 198 00:13:44,043 --> 00:13:45,618 I'm getting a headache. 199 00:13:52,853 --> 00:13:55,201 I don't know, man. Looks like we've stumbled on to a 200 00:13:55,321 --> 00:13:58,129 midnight showing of "dracula meets wolf man." 201 00:13:58,363 --> 00:14:00,257 - Is that it? - I don't know. 202 00:14:00,417 --> 00:14:02,180 I mean, wolf man seems real enough. 203 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:04,511 It makes dracula seem a little less impossible, I guess. 204 00:14:04,682 --> 00:14:07,305 But werewolves don't grow wolf hair. That's just a myth. 205 00:14:08,159 --> 00:14:10,183 So, what? We've got a vampire 206 00:14:10,343 --> 00:14:12,611 and a werewolf monster mashing this town? 207 00:14:15,131 --> 00:14:17,581 Looks like you guys are staying a while. 208 00:14:17,701 --> 00:14:19,442 I heard about rick deacon. 209 00:14:19,602 --> 00:14:21,945 Yeah, this case just got weird enough for, uh, our department. 210 00:14:23,300 --> 00:14:24,743 Well, beers are on me. 211 00:14:26,175 --> 00:14:28,535 And, just so you know, I get off at midnight tonight. 212 00:14:29,650 --> 00:14:31,997 Oh, it's not another, uh, girls' night out? 213 00:14:32,157 --> 00:14:33,290 Doesn't have to be. 214 00:14:34,493 --> 00:14:36,000 Okay, then. I'll see you tonight. 215 00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:37,120 Okay, then. 216 00:14:43,910 --> 00:14:46,338 Hey, you think this dracula could turn into a bat? 217 00:14:48,340 --> 00:14:49,661 That would be cool. 218 00:15:09,828 --> 00:15:13,384 I was just wondering if you were expecting a delivery of some kind? 219 00:15:14,075 --> 00:15:15,772 I don't know. 220 00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:18,190 No, but it looks old. 221 00:15:19,066 --> 00:15:20,240 That's right. 222 00:15:21,106 --> 00:15:23,565 Yeah, an egyptian kind of deal. 223 00:15:25,363 --> 00:15:28,177 No, it was just sitting there on the loading dock. 224 00:15:30,199 --> 00:15:32,683 No, doctor, there's no shipping invoice. 225 00:15:32,803 --> 00:15:33,999 There's no nothing. 226 00:15:34,345 --> 00:15:35,971 I don't know when it was delivered. 227 00:15:36,276 --> 00:15:39,832 It was here when I clocked in tonight. I thought you'd know what to do. 228 00:15:40,970 --> 00:15:43,790 You think helen has any record of it in her files? 229 00:16:01,344 --> 00:16:03,129 Holy mother of crap! 230 00:16:55,366 --> 00:16:57,508 This sarcophagus isn't ancient. 231 00:16:57,713 --> 00:16:59,853 It's from a prop house in philly. 232 00:17:04,551 --> 00:17:08,047 It goes well with the bucket of dry ice he was keeping in it. 233 00:17:09,907 --> 00:17:11,476 Is he making his own special effects? 234 00:17:11,596 --> 00:17:13,992 Yeah, a mummy with a good sense of showmanship. 235 00:17:17,091 --> 00:17:18,391 This is stupid. 236 00:17:19,743 --> 00:17:21,852 Oh, damn it. Jamie. I'm late. 237 00:17:21,972 --> 00:17:24,038 You're good here with the mummy and the... 238 00:17:24,158 --> 00:17:25,545 - Crazy... - Yeah. 239 00:17:25,705 --> 00:17:26,706 Yeah. 240 00:17:36,536 --> 00:17:38,057 Your loss, g-man. 241 00:17:51,475 --> 00:17:52,447 Good evening. 242 00:18:02,725 --> 00:18:05,845 I have watched you many nights from afar. 243 00:18:06,955 --> 00:18:10,590 My passion knows no bounds, Mina! 244 00:18:12,369 --> 00:18:15,722 You are the reincarnation of my beloved, 245 00:18:16,673 --> 00:18:19,349 and I must have you. 246 00:18:21,229 --> 00:18:22,804 Mary, son of a... 247 00:18:25,822 --> 00:18:26,848 Jamie! 248 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:31,082 Son of a bitch. 249 00:18:31,202 --> 00:18:34,791 You should not use such language in the presence of my bride. 250 00:18:37,383 --> 00:18:38,451 Okay. 251 00:18:47,036 --> 00:18:48,457 Jamie, run! 252 00:18:48,577 --> 00:18:51,273 You have no choice in the matter, Mr. Harker. 253 00:18:51,393 --> 00:18:53,549 Mina is mine! 254 00:19:46,771 --> 00:19:48,479 - You guys all right? - Yeah, I think so. 255 00:19:50,012 --> 00:19:51,642 And I think I know what's going on. 256 00:19:51,762 --> 00:19:52,762 Yeah? 257 00:19:52,999 --> 00:19:54,341 Part of it at least. 258 00:19:57,690 --> 00:19:59,115 The ear part? 259 00:19:59,275 --> 00:20:01,784 Ripped it off of dracula's head. Touch it. 260 00:20:09,952 --> 00:20:11,544 Feel familiar to you? 261 00:20:12,540 --> 00:20:13,765 Oh, man. 262 00:20:13,885 --> 00:20:17,145 The skin of a shapeshifter, just like st. Louis and just like milwaukee. 263 00:20:17,265 --> 00:20:20,042 Of course this one's all holding buckets of crazy. 264 00:20:20,334 --> 00:20:21,787 Oh, and, uh... 265 00:20:23,728 --> 00:20:27,602 This, I pulled it off during the fight. Look at the label on the ribbon. 266 00:20:31,482 --> 00:20:32,878 It's a costume rental. 267 00:20:32,998 --> 00:20:35,735 All three monsters... The dracula, wolf man, and the mummy... 268 00:20:35,895 --> 00:20:38,947 All the same critter, which means we need to catch this freak before he 269 00:20:39,107 --> 00:20:41,371 "creature from the black lagoon's" somebody. 270 00:20:41,491 --> 00:20:44,603 So, you guys are like mulder and scully or something, and... 271 00:20:44,723 --> 00:20:46,421 the x files are real? 272 00:20:47,117 --> 00:20:50,500 No, "the X-Files" is a TV show. This is real. 273 00:20:53,325 --> 00:20:57,086 Okay, so, the stagecraft, the costuming... 274 00:20:57,206 --> 00:21:00,337 It's like he's trying to reenact his favorite monster-movie moments, 275 00:21:00,457 --> 00:21:02,220 right down to the bloody murders. 276 00:21:02,724 --> 00:21:04,430 Wait a second. Who the hell is mina? 277 00:21:04,831 --> 00:21:06,056 - Mina? - Yeah. 278 00:21:06,176 --> 00:21:08,474 - That's what he called jamie. - And he called me mr. Harker. 279 00:21:08,594 --> 00:21:09,644 Jonathan harker? 280 00:21:11,835 --> 00:21:14,372 They're characters from the movies and the novels — 281 00:21:14,492 --> 00:21:16,815 Mina, dracula's intended bride, 282 00:21:16,935 --> 00:21:19,120 harker, the fiancé that stands in the way. 283 00:21:20,273 --> 00:21:23,324 Seems like he's fixating on you, like he sees you as his bride. 284 00:21:23,683 --> 00:21:25,634 Wow. Lucky me. 285 00:21:26,294 --> 00:21:28,916 But to fixate on you, my guess is that the shifter 286 00:21:29,036 --> 00:21:32,121 has to have seen you before or been around you. 287 00:21:32,241 --> 00:21:34,627 Jamie, has anybody strange come to town, 288 00:21:34,787 --> 00:21:37,034 somebody that has taken a specific notice of you? 289 00:21:37,154 --> 00:21:39,244 I don't know, dean. It's oktoberfest. 290 00:21:39,809 --> 00:21:41,217 I'm a bartender. 291 00:21:41,659 --> 00:21:44,859 There's lots of people. I... 292 00:21:46,658 --> 00:21:48,099 Wait a second. There is ed. 293 00:21:48,259 --> 00:21:49,308 "Ed brewer" ed? 294 00:21:50,130 --> 00:21:51,130 Yeah. 295 00:21:52,057 --> 00:21:55,481 He moved here about a month ago. Lucy swears he has a crush on me. 296 00:21:56,191 --> 00:21:58,109 He comes in almost every night. 297 00:21:59,108 --> 00:22:01,779 - I don't think he's the type of guy... - Where does ed live? 298 00:22:02,541 --> 00:22:03,720 I don't know. 299 00:22:04,309 --> 00:22:05,908 But he works at the old movie theater. 300 00:22:06,068 --> 00:22:08,253 I think he's a projectionist there. 301 00:22:09,830 --> 00:22:11,456 - Take care of mina? - Yep. 302 00:22:16,791 --> 00:22:19,087 So, monsters are real. 303 00:22:20,834 --> 00:22:22,095 Some of them, yeah. 304 00:22:22,215 --> 00:22:25,875 And the shapeshifter, he can turn into different people. 305 00:22:27,469 --> 00:22:28,201 Yeah. 306 00:22:28,321 --> 00:22:30,346 Yeah, except this one's turning into the 307 00:22:30,466 --> 00:22:33,186 the great monsters of screenland, which is a new one for me. 308 00:22:35,731 --> 00:22:37,875 You're not really fbi, are you? 309 00:22:39,866 --> 00:22:40,994 Not so much. 310 00:22:42,376 --> 00:22:44,501 So, this is what you do? 311 00:22:44,621 --> 00:22:46,512 You and your partner just 312 00:22:46,632 --> 00:22:49,612 tramp across the country on your own dime until 313 00:22:49,732 --> 00:22:52,334 you find some horrible nightmare to fight? 314 00:22:54,803 --> 00:22:56,345 Some people paint. 315 00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:00,046 What? 316 00:23:01,496 --> 00:23:02,708 That must suck. 317 00:23:02,931 --> 00:23:03,931 I mean, 318 00:23:04,678 --> 00:23:07,386 you're giving up your life for this terrible... 319 00:23:08,154 --> 00:23:10,223 I don't know, responsibility. 320 00:23:16,171 --> 00:23:17,878 Last few years, 321 00:23:18,263 --> 00:23:20,124 I started thinking that way, 322 00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:25,336 and, uh, you know, it started sort of weighing on me. 323 00:23:26,850 --> 00:23:28,866 Of course, that was before... 324 00:23:38,810 --> 00:23:42,152 a little while ago, I had this — 325 00:23:43,582 --> 00:23:45,779 It's called a near-death experience. 326 00:23:46,603 --> 00:23:47,685 Very near. 327 00:23:51,876 --> 00:23:52,876 And, uh... 328 00:23:55,351 --> 00:23:56,957 when I came to... 329 00:23:58,491 --> 00:23:59,822 Thin were different. 330 00:24:01,407 --> 00:24:03,114 My life's been different. 331 00:24:04,740 --> 00:24:07,036 I realize that I help people. 332 00:24:08,895 --> 00:24:11,621 Not just help them, though. I save them. 333 00:24:12,001 --> 00:24:13,189 I guess it's — 334 00:24:13,849 --> 00:24:14,829 It's awesome. 335 00:24:18,178 --> 00:24:19,885 It's kind of like a gift... 336 00:24:22,913 --> 00:24:24,031 Like a mission. 337 00:24:26,784 --> 00:24:27,873 Kind of like a... 338 00:24:28,887 --> 00:24:30,371 A mission from god. 339 00:24:33,501 --> 00:24:37,281 So, does that make you... 340 00:24:38,195 --> 00:24:40,390 Some kind of monk or something? 341 00:24:41,863 --> 00:24:43,834 You know, celibate? 342 00:24:45,460 --> 00:24:46,720 Man, I hope not. 343 00:25:03,496 --> 00:25:05,379 Holy crap. Oh, my god. Jamie. 344 00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:07,798 Guys, I'm — I'm sorry. 345 00:25:07,958 --> 00:25:10,850 - I thought you guys were going out. - Lucy, it's — it's okay. 346 00:25:10,970 --> 00:25:12,940 - Uh, listen — - You know what? I just — 347 00:25:13,060 --> 00:25:14,401 I came to borrow a bottle. 348 00:25:14,521 --> 00:25:16,891 I kind of got something going back at my... 349 00:25:19,410 --> 00:25:23,027 Anyway, uh, you guys look really busy, so I'm just... 350 00:25:23,251 --> 00:25:24,663 gonna get out of your hair. 351 00:25:24,783 --> 00:25:27,671 Seriously, lucy, it's been a crazy night. 352 00:25:27,791 --> 00:25:29,083 Stay for a drink. 353 00:25:29,856 --> 00:25:31,700 Yeah. Stay for a drink. 354 00:26:43,593 --> 00:26:45,319 You, FBI man — What did I — 355 00:26:45,439 --> 00:26:47,131 Shut up, okay, you know what you did. 356 00:26:47,251 --> 00:26:48,774 - What? - I know what you are. 357 00:26:48,934 --> 00:26:51,330 I'm not anything. I just like to play the casio. 358 00:26:51,450 --> 00:26:54,040 - Had time to grow the ear back, huh? - What? 359 00:26:59,364 --> 00:27:01,495 - It's supposed to come off. - No, it's not! 360 00:27:05,445 --> 00:27:06,880 Oh, that sounds awful. 361 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:08,698 Jamie, honey, are you okay? 362 00:27:08,818 --> 00:27:10,586 I am fine. 363 00:27:10,932 --> 00:27:12,423 He didn't even touch me. 364 00:27:12,583 --> 00:27:16,093 Dean, he just blew right in and fought him off. 365 00:27:16,253 --> 00:27:19,305 Well, I didn't actually fly, but I'm sure it 366 00:27:19,465 --> 00:27:21,932 seemed that way at the time. 367 00:27:22,178 --> 00:27:23,934 It was really, really something. 368 00:27:25,704 --> 00:27:26,741 Jamie? 369 00:27:28,377 --> 00:27:31,484 So, dean, are you like a black belt or what? 370 00:27:38,067 --> 00:27:40,743 Well, I guess they train you to fight at the academy or whatever. 371 00:27:45,950 --> 00:27:48,302 Dean, what are you doing? 372 00:27:54,073 --> 00:27:55,174 It's you, isn't it? 373 00:28:04,773 --> 00:28:06,094 Oh, damn it! 374 00:28:09,244 --> 00:28:10,788 What did you put in the drinks? 375 00:28:13,562 --> 00:28:14,627 That's all right. 376 00:28:15,168 --> 00:28:16,821 I'll skin you myself. 377 00:28:24,882 --> 00:28:27,056 And... scene. 378 00:28:56,807 --> 00:28:58,048 Oh, come on. 379 00:29:11,175 --> 00:29:13,075 She is beautiful, no? 380 00:29:14,894 --> 00:29:17,566 Bride number three from the first film. 381 00:29:19,585 --> 00:29:23,185 She never got the acclaim that she deserved. 382 00:29:25,207 --> 00:29:29,506 Which is why I chose her shape, her form to 383 00:29:29,626 --> 00:29:31,896 move among the mortals unnoticed, 384 00:29:33,132 --> 00:29:36,800 to listen to the cricket songs of the living. 385 00:29:38,562 --> 00:29:40,907 That is when I discovered my bride 386 00:29:41,027 --> 00:29:43,491 had been reborn 387 00:29:44,371 --> 00:29:45,661 in this century. 388 00:29:47,655 --> 00:29:49,747 I can't get over what a pumpkin-pie-eyed, 389 00:29:49,907 --> 00:29:52,791 crazy son of a bitch you really are. 390 00:29:53,181 --> 00:29:54,796 You're not dracula. 391 00:29:55,437 --> 00:29:56,545 You get that, right? 392 00:29:57,205 --> 00:30:00,716 Or even if you think you are dracula, what the hell's up with the mummy? 393 00:30:03,058 --> 00:30:06,222 I am all monsters! 394 00:30:06,553 --> 00:30:09,459 Life ain't a movie, you sorry sack of — 395 00:30:11,694 --> 00:30:12,694 Life... 396 00:30:13,269 --> 00:30:15,105 is small, 397 00:30:16,174 --> 00:30:17,024 meager, 398 00:30:17,648 --> 00:30:18,648 messy. 399 00:30:20,310 --> 00:30:21,946 The movies are grand, 400 00:30:22,606 --> 00:30:23,606 simple, 401 00:30:23,998 --> 00:30:24,998 elegant. 402 00:30:25,461 --> 00:30:27,785 I have chosen... 403 00:30:28,632 --> 00:30:29,703 elegance. 404 00:30:32,290 --> 00:30:33,975 You think "elegance" is really the word 405 00:30:34,428 --> 00:30:35,876 for what you did to marissa 406 00:30:36,500 --> 00:30:38,963 or rick deacon or any of the others? 407 00:30:40,219 --> 00:30:41,571 But of course. 408 00:30:42,089 --> 00:30:45,302 It is a monster movie, after all. 409 00:30:45,462 --> 00:30:49,014 You do realize what happens at the end of every monster movie? 410 00:30:51,178 --> 00:30:52,696 But this movie... 411 00:30:53,082 --> 00:30:54,306 is mine 412 00:30:56,242 --> 00:30:58,884 And in it, the monster wins. 413 00:30:59,920 --> 00:31:02,694 The monster gets the girl. 414 00:31:03,792 --> 00:31:06,115 And the hero, he's... 415 00:31:07,886 --> 00:31:08,994 electrocuted. 416 00:31:11,798 --> 00:31:14,765 And tonight, Jonathan Harker, 417 00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:18,707 you will be my hero. 418 00:31:19,469 --> 00:31:21,196 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 419 00:31:37,756 --> 00:31:38,522 Please, 420 00:31:39,129 --> 00:31:40,482 Excuse me. 421 00:32:01,667 --> 00:32:02,921 Good evening. 422 00:32:06,788 --> 00:32:07,885 Pizza delivery. 423 00:32:08,292 --> 00:32:11,167 Ah, you've brought a repast. 424 00:32:11,705 --> 00:32:12,556 Excellent. 425 00:32:13,555 --> 00:32:17,497 Continue to be of such service and your life will be spared. 426 00:32:24,701 --> 00:32:26,195 That'll be $15.50. 427 00:32:26,927 --> 00:32:28,364 - Tell me... - Yeah? 428 00:32:28,524 --> 00:32:31,671 is there garlic on this pizza? 429 00:32:34,678 --> 00:32:35,969 I don't know. 430 00:32:36,796 --> 00:32:38,916 - Did you order garlic? - No! 431 00:32:39,701 --> 00:32:40,498 Then no. 432 00:32:40,618 --> 00:32:43,035 Look, mister, I got four other deliveries to make. 433 00:32:43,155 --> 00:32:45,673 You want to just pay me the money so I can go? 434 00:32:45,833 --> 00:32:46,833 Of course. Yes. 435 00:32:49,586 --> 00:32:51,011 But I have a coupon. 436 00:33:01,863 --> 00:33:04,685 Dean, hey, listen, uh, ed is not our guy. 437 00:33:04,805 --> 00:33:09,027 Um, I'm guessing you're at home with jamie, so just give me a call, okay? 438 00:33:20,116 --> 00:33:21,196 Lucy. 439 00:33:47,474 --> 00:33:49,113 You wake. 440 00:33:51,589 --> 00:33:52,740 The gown — 441 00:33:52,900 --> 00:33:54,827 It suits your beauty. 442 00:33:55,945 --> 00:33:57,745 Please, put it on. 443 00:33:59,679 --> 00:34:01,000 Where am I? 444 00:34:01,775 --> 00:34:03,250 What have you done with dean? 445 00:34:03,410 --> 00:34:06,462 Harker is resting elsewhere. 446 00:34:07,084 --> 00:34:09,548 Please, put on the gown and 447 00:34:09,708 --> 00:34:10,958 you may dine. 448 00:34:11,441 --> 00:34:13,552 We are having pizza. 449 00:34:17,232 --> 00:34:18,098 What? 450 00:34:18,363 --> 00:34:20,192 What is wrong with you? 451 00:34:21,807 --> 00:34:23,977 You made up lucy, right? 452 00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:26,523 Pretended to be my friend. 453 00:34:27,305 --> 00:34:31,361 - I needed to know if you were the one. - You could try talking to people! 454 00:34:31,924 --> 00:34:33,655 But instead you become this? 455 00:34:34,458 --> 00:34:37,159 - The gown. - I don't want to play your stupid game. 456 00:34:37,577 --> 00:34:38,827 Okay, I just... 457 00:34:39,936 --> 00:34:41,580 I just want to go home. 458 00:34:41,740 --> 00:34:43,106 Put on the gown! 459 00:35:30,162 --> 00:35:31,503 I-I scared you. 460 00:35:34,318 --> 00:35:36,134 You were the only one I don't want to scare. 461 00:35:48,514 --> 00:35:49,982 I used to love the movies. 462 00:35:51,460 --> 00:35:52,873 They aren't real. 463 00:35:53,706 --> 00:35:55,626 You can't make them real. 464 00:35:57,587 --> 00:35:58,587 "Real"... 465 00:35:59,538 --> 00:36:01,428 is being born this way. 466 00:36:03,510 --> 00:36:04,510 Different. 467 00:36:05,329 --> 00:36:07,554 "Real" is having 468 00:36:08,266 --> 00:36:10,643 your dad call you "monster" — 469 00:36:11,660 --> 00:36:13,367 It's the first time you hear the word — 470 00:36:13,487 --> 00:36:16,567 And he tries to beat you to death with a shovel. 471 00:36:18,112 --> 00:36:20,387 Everywhere I ran, everywhere I tried to hide, 472 00:36:21,018 --> 00:36:24,259 people found me, dragged me out and attacked me, 473 00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:27,765 called me "freak," 474 00:36:28,507 --> 00:36:29,970 called me "monster." 475 00:36:34,125 --> 00:36:36,544 Then I found them. 476 00:36:40,446 --> 00:36:42,814 The great monsters. 477 00:36:43,525 --> 00:36:47,003 In their movies, they were strong. 478 00:36:47,123 --> 00:36:48,423 They were feared. 479 00:36:50,689 --> 00:36:52,071 They were beautiful. 480 00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:55,201 And now I am like them. 481 00:36:58,084 --> 00:36:59,395 Commanding. 482 00:37:02,382 --> 00:37:03,622 Terrifying. 483 00:37:05,509 --> 00:37:06,433 Lonely. 484 00:37:07,751 --> 00:37:09,149 Was lonely. 485 00:37:11,689 --> 00:37:12,812 Now I — 486 00:37:13,823 --> 00:37:15,164 I have you. 487 00:37:16,770 --> 00:37:20,021 Ever think that maybe you're lonely because you kill people? 488 00:37:21,057 --> 00:37:24,147 Or I kill people because I'm lonely. 489 00:37:27,968 --> 00:37:29,278 Did you hear that? 490 00:37:29,685 --> 00:37:30,685 What? 491 00:37:50,753 --> 00:37:52,997 Oh, thank god. Just in the nick of time. 492 00:37:53,117 --> 00:37:55,537 That guy was about to frankenstein me. 493 00:38:02,375 --> 00:38:04,189 - Hey there, handsome. - Shut up! 494 00:38:22,188 --> 00:38:23,235 Let's go. 495 00:38:39,895 --> 00:38:42,347 You will never be van helsing! 496 00:38:47,935 --> 00:38:51,288 And you, harker, now you die. 497 00:38:54,549 --> 00:38:56,815 How'bout now you shut the hell up? 498 00:39:09,575 --> 00:39:10,474 Silver? 499 00:39:22,124 --> 00:39:24,115 It was beauty... 500 00:39:25,193 --> 00:39:27,397 that killed the beast. 501 00:39:29,663 --> 00:39:32,621 No, mina, do not weep. 502 00:39:37,681 --> 00:39:39,012 Perhaps... 503 00:39:39,764 --> 00:39:41,928 this is how 504 00:39:42,374 --> 00:39:44,590 the movie should end. 505 00:40:13,498 --> 00:40:14,813 Well, thank you, g-man. 506 00:40:14,933 --> 00:40:17,707 You have been a great service to your country. 507 00:40:17,827 --> 00:40:21,343 Oh, yes, I'm very, very patriotic. 508 00:40:27,175 --> 00:40:28,175 Bye. 509 00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:29,760 Bye. 510 00:40:34,948 --> 00:40:37,844 You guys saved my life, you know? 511 00:40:38,626 --> 00:40:40,810 So, thanks. 512 00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:45,560 I like her. 513 00:40:45,982 --> 00:40:48,629 Feels good to be back on the job, doesn't it? 514 00:40:48,749 --> 00:40:49,816 Yeah, it does. 515 00:40:49,936 --> 00:40:52,377 The hero gets the girl, monster gets the gank — 516 00:40:52,497 --> 00:40:54,416 All in all, happy ending — 517 00:40:55,155 --> 00:40:56,702 With a happy ending, no less. 518 00:40:57,444 --> 00:40:58,909 Real classy, dean. 519 00:40:59,029 --> 00:41:01,940 Hey, all I'm saying is the shifter man had a point, you know? 520 00:41:02,060 --> 00:41:04,332 It would be nice if life was movie simple. 521 00:41:04,668 --> 00:41:06,498 Although, if I was turning life into a movie, 522 00:41:06,618 --> 00:41:09,426 I wouldn't do this "abbott and costello meet the monster" crap. 523 00:41:09,586 --> 00:41:11,973 Yeah. No, I know what you'd pick. 524 00:41:13,172 --> 00:41:14,299 No, you don't. 525 00:41:15,772 --> 00:41:16,641 Yeah, I do. 526 00:41:16,801 --> 00:41:17,809 No, you don't. 527 00:41:18,689 --> 00:41:20,439 - You don't. - "Porky's II." 528 00:41:20,559 --> 00:41:21,897 - What? - You heard me. 529 00:41:26,054 --> 00:41:27,599 Lucky guess.