Oh, no!
Whatever could that be?
Ghost?
Meet Winchester.
Cut!
Maggie, Siobhan...
is this some kind of a joke to you?
Siobhan, this scene takes place
before the events of Carver Edlund's
unpublished masterpiece “Dark Side of the Moon.”
So?
Meaning, where is the Samulet?
Oh. I took it off.
It kept hitting me in the lips, and...
that amulet is a symbol of the Winchesters' brotherly love.
You need to take one for the team.
Look, I'm just here for the college credit.
How dare you!
People!
Okay, I have had three weeks of this crap show,
and I am done.
There is too much drama in the drama department.
I'm going to principal Salazar in the morning.
No, no, no, no, no, no, Mrs. Chandler, please...
It's over, Marie.
All right, everybody back to one!
Until we are all suspended, the show must go on.
Why couldn't they just do “Godspell,”
like good little skanks?
Instead, it's this awful, unbelievable horror story.
Mm!
Like that stuff really happens.
Theater is about life, you know?
Truth... truth!
Where is the truth in “Supernatural”?
Aaaaaah!
Aah!
Oh, get it off! Get it off!
I mean, it's close, but it just...
it needs a little more, eh...
== sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man web dl sync snarry
Hey.
How long you been up?
Long enough to find us a case.
Long enough to...
I take it that means you're feeling back to normal?
Yeah, whatever normal is in our world.
So, uh...
Right here.
A teacher at an all-girls school
went missing in Flint, Michigan.
She was, uh, headed to her car and then disappeared.
Nobody's seen her since.
Dean, there's nothing here
to even remotely suggest there's a case.
There is nothing there that even remotely suggests
there isn't a case.
Boom.
Come on, man.
Sam, out there hunting...
that's the only normal I know.
We got work to do.
Oh, of course.
Yes, I certainly appreciate it.
You got it. Thanks, officer.
So, the last place Mrs. Chandler was seen by anyone
was in the auditorium.
Turns out she's the drama teacher.
Theater kids... great.
I was a theater kid.
Barely.
You did “Our Town,” which was cool,
but then you did that crappy musical.
That... “Oklahoma!”?
Hugh Jackman got cast off “Oklahoma”.
You ran tech, Wolverine.
Shut up.
If you gentlemen need anything else, just let me know.
Great. Thanks, Mrs. Salazar.
Idjits.
Ya idjits.
You are idjits.
Hey, assbutt!
All right, go talk to the lighting department real quick,
and then we're gonna go talk to Siobhan.
Okay.
Okay, that was really, really good.
What in the h-holy...
If there is a case...
probably has something to do with all this.
Ya think?
- Okay? Good. - Publisher?
Yeah.
Maggie, Marie just never stops.
I know.
You were great.
Oh, my gosh, a-a-are you guys from the publisher?
I'm... I'm Marie, the writer/director.
This is Maeve, my stage manager, and that was just a Dr...
mm.
I'm, uh, Special Agent Smith.
This is my partner, Special Agent...
- Smith. - Smith.
No relation.
W-we're here to look into the disappearance...
There is no singing in “Supernatural.”
Well, this is Marie's interpretation.
Well... I mean, if there was singing, you know...
and that's a big “if”...
if there was singing, it would be classic rock,
not this... Andrew Floyd Webber crap!
- Andrew Lloyd Webber. - S... what?
Well, you know, we do sing a cover
of “Carry on Wayward Son” in the second act.
- Really? - Huh.
- It's a classic. - It's a classic.
Right.
Anyways, w-we're here
to talk about the disappearance of Mrs. Chandler.
Any chance you two saw her before she vanished?
Um, yeah.
She left around like, what, 9:30?
Any idea where she would be headed that time of night?
A bar.
Or a liquor store.
Both.
Wow. Really?
She had a nasty divorce last year.
Most of the time,
she's sipping on her, uh... grown-up juice
or passed out...
usually in that order.
Yeah, well, I don't blame her.
I'm gonna need 50 jello shots and a hose-down to get this stink off me.
Maeve, we need you to check the lights.
Maeve, right? You're the stage manager?
And I understudy Jody Mills.
- What? - That's great. That's great.
Jody Mills... that's great.
So, how about you give me a, uh, behind-the-scenes tour
while your director shows my partner Mrs. Chandler's office?
Deal?
Great. Give us a moment, please.
Okay.
I'm gonna throw up.
I mean, I got to say, it's kind of charming...
t-the production value and the...
No? N... no.
I'm gonna check for EMF.
You... you look for, uh, cursed objects.
Where the hell did you get all this stuff?
Some parts homemade, some parts repurposed,
all of it... awesome.
D-don't...
Please don't.
What are they doing?
Oh, uh, they are rehearsing the B.M. scene.
The bowel-movement scene?
No!
No, the boy melodrama scene.
You know, the scene where the boys get together
and they're... they're driving or leaning against baby,
drinking a beer, sharing their feelings.
The two of them... alone but together.
Bonded, united.
The power of their pain is...
Why are they standing so close together?
Uh...
Reasons.
You know they're brothers, right?
Well, duh.
But... subtext.
Why don't you take a substep back there, ladies?
Now, have you noticed anything strange
during the production?
I mean... Any odd noises or...
You mean something like this?
Or perhaps this?
- Right. Of course. - How about this?
I-I-I got it. Thanks.
You know, back when I did tech in school,
we had two CD decks.
Oh, sorry.
I have to go sign for delivery.
Please don't touch anything.
Sorry.
Yeah.
This hers?
No.
That's a prop from act 2.
I've been looking for that, actually.
There's no space in “Supernatural"
Well, not canonically, no,
but this is transformative fiction.
You mean Fan fiction.
Call it whatever you like, okay?
It's inspired by Carver Edlund's books...
with a few embellishments.
Well, as you know, Chuck stopped writing after “Swan Song.”
I just I couldn't leave it the way that it was.
I mean, Dean not hunting anymore, Living with Lisa,
S-Sam somehow back from Hell but not with Dean?
So, um, I wrote my own ending.
You wrote your own ending... with...
Spaceships?
And robots and some ninjas.
And then Dean becomes a woman.
It... it's just for a few scenes.
All right, Shakespeare, you know that I can actually tell you
what really happened with, uh, Sam and Dean.
A friend of mine hooked me up with the, uh...
unpublished unpublished books.
So, Sam came back from Hell, but without his soul.
Then Cass brought in a bunch of Leviathans from Purgatory.
Uh, they lost Bobby.
And then Cass and Dean got stuck in Purgatory.
Sam hit a dog.
Uh, they met a Prophet named Kevin.
They lost him, too.
Then Sam underwent a series of trials...
in an attempt to close the Gates of Hell...
Which... Nearly cost him his life.
And Dean... well, Dean became a demon.
A knight of hell, actually.
Wow.
Yep.
That is some of the worst fan fiction
that I have ever heard!
I mean, seriously, though, no,
where'd your friend find this garbage?
I-I'm not saying that ours is a masterpiece or anything,
but geez.
I'll have to send you some fic-links later.
What are they doing?
Um...
Kids these days call it “hugging.”
Is that in the show?
Oh. No.
Siobhan and Kristen are a couple in real life.
Although, we do explore the nature of Destiel in act 2.
Sorry... what?
Oh, it's just subtext.
But, then again, you know,
you can't spell “subtex”, without...
s-e-x.
I don't understand.
Me neither.
I mean, shouldn't it be “Dea-stiel”?
Really? That's your issue with this?
No, of course it's not my issue.
You know, how about... “Sastiel,"Samstiel”?
Okay, all right, you know what?
You're gonna do that thing
where you just shut the hell up... forever.
Look, man, no EMF, no hex bags.
None of their props are even remotely hinky.
Other than the Charlie Kaufman of it all, I got nothing.
You?
No, miss Chandler's office
was just a pile of empty bottles and regret.
She's probably facedown in a bar somewhere or a ditch.
All right, so, what, this... this whole...
This whole musical thing, everything, it's just...
it's all a coincidence?
There is no case?
Unless you're seeing something I'm not,
no, Dean, there's no case here.
Okay.
“Casdean”?
Shut your face. Get in the car.
Maggie! Come on!
J... please don't do this.
Everyone else is willing to follow your little dictatorship,
but not me.
I've been telling you all along, Marie...
if it's not canon, then it shouldn't be in the show.
You know, we should've just done “The Outsiders,”
like I told you.
Just...
come back inside. We can make this work.
I'm going to principal Salazar's in the morning.
Gonna do what Mrs. Chandler was too drunk to finish.
Great.
Maggie?
Maggie!
I understand. All right, thank you for the help, officer.
Appreciate it.
So, checked with the principal.
There's nothing on the surveillance tapes.
What do the, uh, what do the cops think?
You know, the only clue they found was by the dumpster.
They found the same flower near Mrs. Chandler's cellphone.
- You recognize it? - No.
Yeah, me neither.
I made you some tea.
Hey.
Let me guess.
You guys came here to laugh at me, too, right?
Why don't you tell us what happened to your friend?
Maggie quit the show.
She was trying to get us shut down, and so we were fighting.
Then she... she left, and I heard her scream.
So I ran outside to help.
And...
And I saw a scarecrow.
It looked just like the one from our show, but...
Alive.
Then what?
Uh...
I-it wrapped her up in vines
a-and took her behind a dumpster.
And then they were both just... gone.
So, I called the cops, and a bunch of adults
just told me I had an overactive imagination.
But it's all real.
Ghosts, angels... Demons.
I want to believe.
You should believe.
You both should 'cause it is all real.
And so are we.
I'm Sam Winchester.
That's Dean.
Okay.
Now, look.
I'm willing to accept that monsters are real,
but those books... are works of fiction.
And you guys are way too old to be Sam or Dean.
Oh, yeah.
More of a Rufus/Bobby combo... Maybe.
Okay, all right, little miss sunshine.
We are what the books call hunters.
FBI hunters?
Yeah.
You guys are “X-Files.”
Sure. Yeah. You could say that.
So, the scarecrow in your musical...
is it based on the one from the books?
No. I changed it.
I got scared of a local legend when I was a kid.
There was this old, creepy scarecrow
on an abandoned farm outside of town.
Kids used to say if it caught you, it would take you away.
Okay, if this scarecrow is based off of your version,
then Miss Chandler and Maggie might still be alive.
You think the scarecrow was created by the play?
You think...
it's a Tulpa.
Tulpas are monsters that are created
by intense, focused energy on an idea.
Or a story.
Great. How do you kill an idea?
Well, in “Hell House,” Sam and Dean burned the house down
to take out the one Tulpa they hunted.
Yeah, yeah, you kill the symbol, you kill the Tulpa.
It's, uh, actually a pretty good start.
So, the scarecrow in your play, is it a person or a prop?
Prop.
And it's terrifying.
We keep it in the boiler room.
That's, uh... great.
Um, okay, you guys read up.
Just give us a sec.
Yeah, so, this doesn't add up.
Tulpas require a-a ton of psychic energy to juice up.
Yeah.
Well, it's not like the “Supernatural” books
are tearing up the New York Times best-seller list,
and I seriously doubt this play is even sold out.
Hope not.
Oh, but you know what? This flower...
I know I've seen it in the lore somewhere.
There's got to be a connection.
All right, you get on that. I'm gonna take a shot at burning man.
- Yeah. - Okay.
Can you show me to the boiler room?
Yeah.
Sure.
Gird your loins.
It's horrifying.
Really?
I know. Scary, right?
You want to piñata this asshat?
“Asshat”?
Nice. It's, uh, very Dean.
No, he's all yours, Agent Smith.
Thank you.
We came, we saw, we kicked...
It's not a Tulpa.
What?
It's not a Tulpa.
Say it one more time, but just a little bit more Arnold, you know, like...
It's not a Tulpa.
Dude, come on.
- It's Calliope. - Who?
The goddess of epic poetry... the muse.
She's associated with this... the borage or starflower.
That's the picture.
Okay, wait... if this is a god thing,
then what's with the scarecrow?
According to the lore, Calliope manifests creatures
from the stories she's tuned into.
So... The scarecrow is still alive
and we burned my prop for nothing?
Oh, that thing needed to burn.
The only way to destroy the scarecrow is to kill Calliope.
Right... she uses these manifestations, like the scarecrow,
to inspire the author and protect them
until their vision is realized.
Then what?
Then she eats the author.
Okay, that's bad.
Um...
Well... You get your wish.
Let's cancel the show.
That's what your teacher and classmate did.
They tried to shut you down, and the scarecrow took them...
protected you and the show.
Okay, so, the scarecrow is a boogeyman.
We got to take our shot with this, uh...
- Calliope. - ... Calliope.
But she won't show herself until...
Your vision is realized.
So...
What are you saying?
The show must go on.
Hey, uh, why don't I...
Why don't you guys rally Marie?
I'm gonna grab some wooden stakes from the trunk
and do the blessing.
Is Marie gonna get eaten?
Not gonna happen.
Soon as that curtain rises,
we are gonna be there to take out this Calliope.
Hey.
How you doing, champ?
This...
This is all my fault.
If I hadn't written this dumb play,
none of this would've happened.
Okay, well, first of all, uh, the play's not dumb.
I thought you didn't believe in this interpretation.
I don't.
Like at all.
B-but you do, okay?
And I need you to believe in it with all you got
so that we can kill Calliope and we can save your friends.
Can you do that?
Yeah. You're right.
If Sam and Dean were real...
they wouldn't back down from a fight.
Especially my sweet... brave... selfless Sam.
There's nothing he can't do.
No.
Okay.
Let's do this.
I understudy Sam, so...
I used this for my one-woman “Orphan Black” show last year.
But it's gonna have to work for Sam.
Writer.
Director.
Actor.
I'm gonna Barbra Streisand this bitch.
Okay.
Good.
Okay.
Good.
Oh. Wait.
Perfect.
Okay, Samulet?
The... Samulet?
That amulet is a symbol of the Winchesters' brotherly love.
Okay, good. Good.
Hey.
Yeah.
- Posture. Straighten up. - Okay.
Pretty good.
Wait a second. Where's Chuck?
Oh, I-I-I love him. I do.
But, honestly, the whole
“author inserting themselves into the narrative” thing,
it's just not my favorite.
I kind of hate the meta stories.
Me too. Me too.
All right, listen up, girls,
now, I know you're all here because you love “Supernatural”.
Actually, I was hoping we'd do “Wicked.”
Yeah, that'd have been easier.
Uh, I know I have expressed some differences of opinion
regarding this particular version of “Supernatural,”
uh, but tonight...
It is all about Marie's vision.
This is Marie's “Supernatural.”
So I want you to get out there,
and I want you to stand as close as she wants you to,
and I want you to put as much sub into that text
as you possibly can.
There is no other road, no other way, no day...
but today.
Did he just quote “Rent”?
Not enough to get us in trouble.
Now, you get out there and you kick it in the ass.
All right, bring it in!
Ghost... ghost... Ghost... ghost...
Facers. Facers. Facers. Facers.
Good evening, everybody.
Uh, welcome to our production of “Supernatural.”
not gonna lie... it might be a full-on Gallagher show
up in this piece.
Um, so those of you in the front rows
may want to use the ponchos we've provided for you
under your seats.
You may, in fact, get wet on this ride.
Um, I would... I would like to thank
the, uh, cast and the crew for...
Okay, she's stalling. Let's do this.
Copy that.
Curtain, kids. It's showtime.
- Um, I'd like to thank the school board... - Curtain ready. Roll sound. Go.
Okay, um, and... and...
a-and that concludes our introduction for the night,
so everybody just sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.
Everyone in places.
Ready in 5... 4... 3... 2... Go.
Agent Smith?
Where the hell are we?
School's basement. The scarecrow brought us down here.
Yeah, I tried that days ago.
So, what? We're stuck in here?
That's right.
You're gonna miss the big show.
Okay, so, you can pop in tomorrow morning.
Yes.
I'll just...
wait here, then.
So, what do we do now?
Just stick to the plan, okay?
Keep singing until the scarecrow comes for you.
I've consumed many authors, many stories.
But tonight...
as soon as that curtain opened,
I knew something special was brewing with this one.
Maybe it's because the story's actual inspiration is here.
Mm. I don't know.
I guess I'm just gonna have to kill you and your brother
to find out.
Don't you have to wait until the vision has been realized?
Oh, Gods.
If I have to sit through that second act one more time...
There's robots and tentacles in space.
I can't even.
Okay, we're through the looking glass here, people.
Strike the Wendigo set. Let's prep the priest costumes.
And, Sarah, get our understudies into hair and makeup.
So, why this story, huh?
Why, uh, “Supernatural”?
“Supernatural” has everything.
Life, death, resurrection, redemption.
The stake.
But above all...
Give it to him.
Family.
All set to music you can really tap your toe to.
It isn't some meandering piece of genre dreck.
It's... Epic.
Aaaaaaah!
And that...
Well, that is my bag of tea.
Bag this!
No chick-flick moments!
Aaaaaah!
Take a bow, Sammy.
Usually, this is where Sam and Dean take off
before anyone asks any questions.
That's probably a good idea.
Thanks for saving my friends.
Sure.
You know, if you cut your hair a little,
you'd make a pretty good Dean.
Thanks.
Well, you did good out there, kid.
You're not so bad yourself.
You know, this has been... Educational...
Seeing the... story from your perspective.
You keep writing, Shakespeare.
Even if it doesn't match how you see it?
I have my version, and you have yours.
One minute, folks, one minute.
Okay.
Dean?
You never should've thrown this away.
It never really worked.
I don't need a symbol to remind me
how I feel about my brother, so...
Just take it...
Jerk.
Bitch.
Right. Okay.
Sound car start.
Stand by.
Curtain, go.
I guess we can go back to staring at motel-room walls.
You know what, Dean?
You were right.
Staying cooped up isn't helping us.
- We need... - We need to be back on the road, Dean,
doing what we do best.
What is that?
I just... I don't know anymore.
It's the, uh, the B.M. scene.
- The... - Saving people, hunting things.
Bowel-movement scene?
- You know, the family business. - Shh. No.
Just... Shh.
You're right, Sammy.
Out on the road...
just the two of us.
The two of us against the world.
What she said.
Who's that?
Oh, that's Adam, John Winchester's other kid.
He's still trapped in a cage in Hell with Lucifer.
- Bye. - Oh. Bye.
Sorry. Thank you. Thank you.
The ticket you left for the publisher... someone claimed it.
Oh, my gosh.
But wait.
Does that mean that Calliope came for me or for...
Who cares? Go, fangirl!
Um... Hi.
Thank you... So much for coming.
Uh, I know the second act is a little bit wonky
and the first act has some issues,
but... What did you think?
Not bad.
== sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man web dl sync snarry