Hex bag. Aw, gross.
So we're thinkin' witch? Uh, yeah.
I hate witches.
They're always spewing their bodily fluids everywhere.
And why does a rabbit always get screwed in the deal?
Poor little guy. Witches. They're murderers.
Burn, witch, burn.
Aah!
Oh!
Oh, my god! Aah!
These are witch-killing bullets.
Aah!
Vanesce!
Rowena?
Told you you'd need me.
Are we not a team? No.
You have to. No!
Listen to me...
Get out of there.
Just go! Now!
You people.
You never learn, do you?
Always trying to run.
Dearmad!
Ohh.
Ugh.
Hey, buddy.
Mm.
Ah.
Wow.
Oh, come on.
And I was like, "Andy, the dog's vegan."
Hey, hey. "How could you give him..."
excuse me. Do you mind if I...
Wh... Just don't buy a drink.
I-I know, Stacey.
Huh.
Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Excuse me.
Look, uh, uh, I'm not a... Not a bum, okay?
Just somebody who really needs to use a phone. Do you mind?
Great.
Thank you.
Okay.
Hello? Sam?
Dude, where the hell have you been?
I'm not really sure about that.
You... well, where are you now?
I'm not real sure about that either. I, um...
Oh. Ha ha.
I'm starvin'. How you feel about waffles?
What?
Dumb question. Right. What psycho doesn't love waffles?
I mean, they're fluffy.
You got the little pockets full of syrup.
You just cover 'em in whipped cream. Am I right?
Anyway, meet me at waldos', okay?
Hey... m...
Oh. Hey, did you bring any, um...
Yes.
Sounded like you could use it.
Oh, man. Rough night?
Rough morning.
W-what happened?
I mean, you just went out to get some food.
I don't know.
What does that mean?
I-I guess I blacked out.
And judging from this hangover, it was epic.
Well, I tried to call you. Um...
Oh.
Not sure how that happened.
Great.
All right, well, I'll text mom,
make sure she knows to get ahold of me
in case of an emergency.
And cass, in case he tracks down Kelly.
The mother of Lucifer's love child?
Right. Right.
Yes, the devil baby mama drama.
Say that five times fast.
Devil baby mama drama.
All right, Dean, you know, uh, you had a good run,
but maybe let's pump the brakes a little bit.
I mean, you're not 20 anymore.
Okay, one,
the rat pack partied till the day they died.
And b, I can still kick your ass.
Mm.
Got a man who needs some waffles down here.
Oh, no. I'm... I'm fine. I'm... You can just take these if you want.
No, Dean. Look, the morgue opens in, like, 10 minutes.
The morgue?
The autopsy results.
Are you still drunk?
I don't think so.
All right, our... our case? Mm.
The dead guy, throat stuffed full of money.
Any of this ring a bell? Right, yes. Right.
Um... The accountant. Barry gilman.
Right. Right.
Uh, and you think he got his ticket punched by a demon.
Maybe.
Okay, but when we went over to his place yesterday,
we got a whole bunch of Jack and a little bit of squat.
There was no hex bags, no emf, no sulfur,
which means no case.
Yeah, but if it's not a case, then what is it?
I don't know. Death by money?
You know, maybe the guy got whacked by, uh,
some mob dude with an ironic sense of humor.
All right. Well, I'm gonna go scope out the body.
If you wanna spend some more alone time
with, uh, your waffles... All right.
Have fun.
Fine, hold up.
Did you pay?
Oops, no. Right.
You got it? I got it.
Hi.
And who are you?
Oh! Ah!
Yep.
Epic night.
Hey.
Uh, thank you.
Great. We'll let you know if we need anything else.
Thanks.
All right.
So cause of death was suffocation. Officially.
Okay. We already knew that.
"See evidence bag b 1-4." All right.
Ugh.
Mm.
Huh.
Says they pulled all this from his stomach.
Mm-hmm... mm.
Big breakfast.
Okay.
All right.
Mm.
Ugh.
Well, well.
You were saying about an ironic mobster?
All right, so...
A witch force feds old Barry here a hex bag
and then casts a spell.
Yeah, a spell that pumps him so full of cash,
he dies choking on it.
Ugh. Witches.
Well, I guess it's true what they say.
Mo' money, mo' problems.
Right?
I hope you're still drunk.
So why would somebody want Barry dead?
I mean, what, did he screw up a tax return?
He's actually more of a money manager.
Well, whatever he was,
looks like he, uh, certainly made one hell of a...
Uh...
Enemy?
Enemy. Yeah. Those guys.
Maybe he blew the wrong person's savings.
All right, well, let's check out his clients.
Which one? Barry worked for the richest families in town.
Man, you were serious about epic. It's the square one.
Yeah. I know. Y...
Son of a bitch. Come on!
What the... Really?
Sorry! Our fault.
I...
R for "reverse," Dean.
Listen, man, I-I know we haven't had it easy lately.
This thing with the devil's kid
and getting tossed into west Guantanamo
makes me wanna crawl into a bottle, too, sometimes, but...
Dude, you're wrecked.
And we got a case to work, so get it together, all right?
Dean?
Dean.
Who's Dean?
I told you, I'm fine.
Dean, you forgot your own name.
For a second. Okay, yeah, that was weird.
All right, look, we know we're dealing with a witch, right?
Maybe you got hexed.
Dude...
If a witch got a clear shot of me, I would be dead, okay?
I wouldn't be freakin', uh... Dory.
Dory? I'm not gonna apologize for loving that fish.
Not to you, not to anyone.
Right. Okay. All right.
If you're doing so well, name all the members of bon jovi.
Okay.
Uh, we talkin' circa 1983? Sure.
Done. We got bon jovi.
Whatever. This is stupid.
Sam, I'm fine. Okay? I feel great.
Look, uh...
This is a gun.
This is a coat.
This is a... A... A...
Light stick.
A light st...
All right.
We're gonna get you some help.
Look, we could figure this out, okay?
Don't go callin' mom or cass with this.
Fine, but until you get better...
Lamp. Right.
So close.
Shall we end the suspense?
What's that? Six in a row?
Beginner's luck.
Oh.
Gentlemen, if you don't mind.
I'm a wee bit occupied at the moment.
Yeah, well, we need your help, Rowena.
Oh, really? Come on, man.
Rowena? I mean... Yes. Really.
Hey!
Tiny vodkas. Score.
Am I saved to your contacts now?
Tell me. Have I got my own ringtone?
This is serious.
Look, I think Dean's been hexed, okay?
He... he's been forgetting things.
Maybe he's just drunk. Oi! He's not drunk.
We need ice.
We could do a memory spell. But did his hair fall out?
His body, too? What?
From the neck down, is he smooth like a Ken doll?
I don't know. Uh, and I'm not checking either.
Rules out a mnemonic curse.
The oblivate spell wipes the memory clean over time,
but it's intricate magic. I...
How do I break it? Theoretically?
Kill the witch.
Got it.
All right. So... Dean?
Dean!
Dean?
Dude, what are you doing?
Getting ice. What are you doing?
That's not our room.
All these dumps look the same.
So this spell, I'm stuck in some sort of "memento" crap?
Right. The fix sounds fairly simple.
You just find the witch who did it and kill it.
Oh, Halle-freakin'-lujah.
I think you got hexed last night. Yeah?
Yeah, we need to retrace your steps.
All right, think.
What's the last thing you remember you did?
Uh...
I got some ice.
Okay, from yesterday,
the last thing I kinda sorta remember is
us being here
in, um...
Big guy's office. Uh...
Barry gilman. Yes. And...
We were here and we were, uh, we were looking for leads.
Yeah. Douche tax.
Yeah, you did that yesterday, too.
All right, come here. Check these out.
Do these shake anything loose, these pictures?
No. None of them.
Okay, think hard. What happened next?
I went to hit the lore. You went out for a burger. So...
So...
What do you want me to say? I-I ate 'em?
Okay, okay. You know what? It's not a big town.
How many burger joints can there be? Come on.
All right. Anything?
No. I mean, this is the third place we've been to.
I-I... No. It's...
Wait.
It's... it's her from, uh, from the waffles.
All right, come on.
Excuse me. Hi. Hey.
If you're gonna apologize, you better make it quick.
Me apologize? Uh, you smacked me.
You were being a dick. We're even. Even for what?
That's none of your... Who are you?
Okay, look, whatever happened with us, um, I'm sorry. Okay?
See, here's the deal. We're, um, we're...
We're FBI. Uh, agents moon and entwistle.
FBI? Yeah.
Last night, you told me your name was Springsteen.
Like the boss.
Uh, yeah, see, sometimes, we have to lie in order to, uh,
to... Protect our cover.
No way. Okay, listen, this is actually sensitive.
We... we think my partner may have been roofied.
Seriously. Seriously?
If you can tell us anything about what happened that night,
it would be a big help.
Sure. I... Great.
He ordered burgers to go.
It was gonna be a minute. We were slammed.
Then you knocked back... Four shots of Tequila?
Put some "sick jams" on the juke,
and then you hit the bull.
He what? I what?
Oh, yeah, you had the hots for Larry
as soon as you walked in here.
He... you rode Larry?
Was I good?
You were... Amazing.
Hmm.
Anyway,
we got to talking, and...
You know.
We blew off some steam.
Ah.
Did you see him talk with anyone else?
My bartender said she saw him run out of here
like his pants caught fire.
We were supposed to meet up after close-up,
but you never showed.
Oh. Poor thing.
You were all roofed up.
I didn't...
I am so sorry
if I took advantage of you.
It's okay.
Does this place have security cameras?
Yeah.
First action in I don't know how long,
and it's like it never even happened. Figures.
Ha. See, now that's comedy.
Okay, whoa. There I am. Yeah.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
What are you doing?
I'm trying to read my lips.
"Now salsa you mittens."
You can't read lips.
I can't read lips.
You see that?
Yeah, of course. I think we got our witch.
What, you don't remember any of this?
It's like watching myself on netflix.
That guy look familiar to you? That jacket?
Never mind. Stupid question.
I think Barry had a picture of him in his office.
It might be how you recognized him last night.
And I take a shot.
I know how to shoot a gun?
All right, so...
You crashed there.
Uh... You ran that way.
Uh, shot, uh...
here.
Yep.
Witch-killing bullet.
Wait.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
There are witches?
Dean...
Witches are real.
Vampires, werewolves, witches, they're all real.
And we kill them.
Awesome. That's awesome.
Right. Right.
Come on.
Ah.
Okay, so wait. So... So djinns don't Grant wishes,
and sirens aren't all hot chicks?
Yeah. Sorry to break it to you.
Huh.
This is crazy. What?
Me giving you "the talk."
You know how many times we've had to tell some civilian
that monsters are real? Yeah, but monsters are real.
And we're the guys that kill 'em, man.
I mean, come on. Best job ever.
Yeah. If you like greasy diner food,
crappy motels rooms, more than one apocalypse.
I don't know. We kinda sound like heroes to me.
Hey.
Whoa.
And our best friend's an angel.
What?
We just gotta get you cured.
Yeah. Okay.
Hey.
Whoa.
Okay, now, these? Freaky.
No, they're just, uh, glyphs.
Witches use them in spells, but I've actually
never seen anything like this before.
Maybe Rowena will recognize 'em.
Maybe. Who's Rowena? That's a weird name.
S-s-Sam!
Sam!
What?
Is that a dead guy?
Yeah. I think that's our witch.
Cool.
No, Dean. Killing the witch was supposed to be the cure.
So if he's already dead, then why aren't you...
You?
Not cool.
Okay, what now?
Now we get out of here. Let's go. Come on.
Okay.
Oh. Hunters.
Poor Gideon.
This is why he told us to leave the accountant alone.
That tub of guts stole from us.
He deserved what he got.
They're on us, cat. We have to run.
I am not going to run!
And I don't care what Gideon said.
So what? You wanna kill them, too?
I want my family back.
Is that a dead guy? Yeah.
Whoa.
Never seen a dead guy before.
Uh, yeah, you have. Trust me.
Hmm.
Hey! No, d-Dean, wait a second.
Who are you?
Spell's progressed, I see.
You...
I wanted intel, Rowena, not a house call.
Oh, I have a feeling you'll come to thank me.
Mm, your hair, it's all so bouncy.
Why, thank you. Mm-hmm.
Do we have to fix him?
Rowena. Samuel.
Those glyphs you found are an archaic form of Celtic.
Ogham chraobh.
The druids used it in their rituals,
calling it the "language of the trees."
Wait, wait. Now the trees are talkin'?
Uh, Dean, do you remember hbo?
Um...
Cinemax?
Skinemax.
Great. All right, come here.
We're just gonna... Oh.
We're gonna sit you down right here.
And, uh, yeah, go ahead. Um...
This like live skinemax or...
How 'bout two?
Hey! Fun. Scooby-doo: Three?
Stay there. Okay, three.
Come here.
There's only one family of witches
versed in this kind of magic.
I thought them all dead for years,
but when I saw those glyphs...
Is this one of 'em?
Gideon loughlin.
Did you know him?
A bit.
All right, tell me about this family.
A hundred years ago,
the loughlins came over from the old world
and turned a small town on the Mississippi delta
into their own personal fiefdom.
Their children... Gideon, Boyd, and catriona...
Were like three rotten little peas in a pod.
The family possessed a powerful spell book,
a Tome of druidic magic called the black grimoire.
Witches came from around the world to live with them
and study its secrets...
For a price.
So what happened to 'em?
Hunters happened.
Of course, I'd heard rumors one or two survived,
stealing away with their book,
but I-I dismissed them as gossip.
Scooby-doo: Hmm.
With Gideon dead, if you want to break the curse on your brother,
we need to find that book.
Wait a second. So you can't break it?
Oh, of course I could,
but witchcraft this complex would take time,
more than Dean's got.
He's already begun to forget himself,
everyone he's ever known, ever loved.
Even you.
Soon he'll forget how to speak, how to swallow,
and then...
Dean Winchester's going to die.
Sucks for that guy.
- Scooby-doo: Three? - Fred: Okay, three.
Huh.
Scooby-doo!
So after everything...
That's it. This is what nails me.
No. No, no, Dean, it...
It's not gonna happen, all right?
Well, you just told me my whole life story.
And I gotta be honest, man, I... I can feel it,
slipping out of my head.
I mean, ganking monsters is one thing. But this...
You know, uh, we're gonna, um...
We'll figure it out. All right?
We will.
How is he?
Like you care.
Oh.
You know, I've seen my brother die,
but watching him become...
Not him...
This might actually be worse.
Ahh.
Okay.
My name is Dean Winchester.
Sam is my brother.
Uh, Mary Winchester is my mom.
And cast...
Cass is my best friend.
We need to find that grimoire.
Of course.
That's your angle, isn't it?
Oh. Oh, come on, Rowena.
A powerful spell book shows up and all of a sudden,
you're here to help?
Altruism isn't exactly your style.
True.
Also, it never hurts to have a Winchester owe you one.
My name is Dean wi...
Winchester.
My name... my name is...
My...
My name is... is...
Gideon loughlin's address was in his accountant's file.
If the book is there, I'll find it.
Of course, you'll need me there to help...
No, no, you're staying here with Dean.
I most certainly am not.
Well, he can't come with me, and I'm not leaving him alone.
And I obviously don't trust you.
Well, obviously.
The black grimoire's written in ancient druid.
How do you propose to find a proper spell
without me there to... well, you said a few of the loughlins survived, right?
That was the rumor?
So you expect one of them to... to what?
Translate their ancient super secret family spell book for you?
You just killed their brother.
They'd sooner use your skin as an outfit.
They can try.
My... My...
I don't know.
Stop touching everything.
Sorry.
Ugh. Here.
Play with this,
and I'll tell you a story.
Okay.
Once, a beautiful witch
was, again, run out of her homeland
by those pompous, self-righteous, murderous hooligans.
You know them as the British men of letters.
Hmm.
She sought refuge with a family of witches.
All she wanted was a roof over her head
and a safe place to hone her magic.
Yet, they threw her out like...
Like common trash. Said she wasn't up to snuff.
Oh, these witches sound like dicks.
I think you got plenty of snuff.
You can really remember nothing, can you?
What a gift not to recall the things you've done.
What have I done?
Oh, you're a killer, Dean Winchester.
Who's inside?
Wait, I... I kill people?
Scores.
But... But...
Though you may be a stubborn pain in the arse
with the manners of a neanderthal
and the dining habits of a toddler,
everything you've done, you've done...
For the greater good.
Oh, and that's supposed to make it okay?
I wouldn't know.
You help those other than yourself.
But me?
I've done horrible things,
and I told myself it was fine.
It was the price of power. And power's what matters, right?
Then I met god and his sister.
The two most powerful beings in the universe,
wasting it on squabbling with each other.
I thought, if... if they can't be happy,
or at least satisfied,
how can there be any hope for me?
Why are you telling me this?
Because I know you won't remember.
You're in?
Shh. Yeah, I'm in.
All right.
As soon as I get the translation,
you cast the spell.
Hmm.
This gun is full of witch-killing bullets.
So why don't you go to your grimoire
and tell me how to break the memory spell?
I told him you'd come.
Boyd wanted to go after you, but I said, "why bother?"
You're hunters.
You'll hunt us down,
right at our doorstep.
Hot and... Fresh like pizza.
I'm not asking you again.
Abi!
Age nunc intellectum.
Age nunc intellectum
atque voluntatem omnem meam.
Sam?
Aah!
Hmm?
"Your brother's been kidnapped by a witch.
I found your stupid car and left you here."
Stupid?
Okay.
"Stay."
Boyd, you promised.
Without Gideon, we are not a family.
Well, you should've thought of that before you went
behind his back and piñata'd the accountant.
Gideon told you to let it go.
And let us be cheated by some sniveling, weak human nothing?
You got our brother killed.
Mm.
Well, we...
Can bring him back.
Do it.
Please. For me?
Catriona loughlin.
The years have not been kind.
Who are you?
Rowena.
Rowena macleod?
You don't wanna do this.
Well, well, well.
Look who's awake.
Okay, so whatever your sister has planned,
you don't have to do it.
You mean, swapping your soul for his?
I'm afraid I do.
Raggedy Ann.
Excuse me?
I remember you...
A rag doll all huddled up on our doorstep.
I swore I could see the fleas nibbling away
at whatever the hell was left
of that dirty little body of yours.
And still...
Still, you thought you were worthy of our magic.
And when we disagreed...
Oh... How you begged,
how you threw yourself down and...
Offered yourself to each of us.
Boyd almost took you up on it, too.
But I told him, it would be cleaner with the pigs.
You know what they say?
Hmm?
Nothing heals old wounds like opening fresh ones.
Hmm.
Oh!
Aah!
I've never been very good at darts.
Do over.
A gun?
You really think that's gonna work on a...
Aah!
No, no, no. Brother. Witch.
Hey. Is that it? Is... is it done?
Who's this hippie?
Look at his face.
Oh! Kind of like the time when I ate all your Halloween candy.
You remember that? Classic.
Not funny.
I can't believe you called Rowena.
I can't believe you rode Larry.
Hey. I was awesome on that bull.
I was like a god.
Now, should you experience any odd memories
from when you were hexed, conversations,
you let me know?
It's blank, mostly. Really.
Oh, just a second.
If you want to thank me, you can send a wee gift basket.
The book.
You're no fun.
We owe you one. Small one.
So how you holding up after the spell?
That thing kicked my ass.
You know, I gotta be honest.
I was actually, uh, a little jealous at first.
Of what? The curse that nearly killed me?
No, just, you know...
Some of the things we've done, we've had this weight for...
Forever.
And seeing it gone, uh, you looked happy.
Huh. Well, look, was it nice to drop our baggage?
Yeah, maybe. Hell, probably.
But it wasn't just the crap that got lost.
I mean, it was everything.
It was us, it was what we do, you know? All of it.
So...
That's what being happy looks like?
I think I'll pass.
It's the, uh, the shiny one that's... get in the car.