1 00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:19,978 Hello, mon cher. 2 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,439 Coach! Over here. 3 00:00:27,152 --> 00:00:28,570 Thank God. 4 00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:30,239 Z-man, Dani. 5 00:00:33,951 --> 00:00:35,869 He looks like a beautiful angel-man. 6 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,250 Good morning, sunshine. 7 00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:42,668 You okay? 8 00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:45,128 I didn't want to miss the bus, so I just slept in here. 9 00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:46,630 Sorry, I'm gonna vomit. Sorry. 10 00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:48,340 Oh, my God. 11 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,684 Wait. What am I doing? This is my fucking room. 12 00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,352 Oi! Out. 13 00:01:04,772 --> 00:01:05,858 Hey, you. 14 00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:08,694 Hey. Good morning. 15 00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:10,529 I got you a coffee. 16 00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:12,155 - Thank you. - Yeah. 17 00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:13,323 You been up long? 18 00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:15,325 Hour or two. 19 00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:18,161 You know? I guess three hours total. 20 00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:20,539 Last night was fun. 21 00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:23,876 Oh, yeah. Five stars. Certified fresh. 22 00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:27,337 - Have you got to go? - Yeah. 23 00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,923 But, you know, you don't need to rush out or anything. 24 00:01:30,007 --> 00:01:31,758 I got you a late checkout. 25 00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:34,595 That's very thoughtful of you. 26 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,555 Go on then. You go. 27 00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:37,931 I'm gonna go back to sleep, 28 00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:41,894 and then I'm gonna order a huge breakfast on your tab. 29 00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:43,979 That's a pro move right there. Yeah. 30 00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:46,440 Hey, I'll be your Underhills anytime. 31 00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:49,943 Okay. Well... I'll see you around, I guess. 32 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:30,651 Coach. 33 00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:34,363 Hey, Coach. 34 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:36,740 - Coach. - Yeah? 35 00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,825 - Something on your mind, Coach? - No, why? 36 00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:41,370 We just had a five-hour bus ride where you didn't talk a lick, 37 00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:43,455 and that's a record by about five hours. 38 00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:50,170 Okay, look. I'm gonna tell you something 39 00:02:50,254 --> 00:02:52,357 but then I don't wanna talk about it ever again, okay? 40 00:02:52,381 --> 00:02:53,966 - Okay. - I'm serious. 41 00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:55,489 I don't want to make jokes about it. 42 00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:57,970 I don't want you giving me any knowing glances. 43 00:02:58,053 --> 00:02:59,493 - You know what I mean? Okay. - Okay. 44 00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:03,642 Last night, I... 45 00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:07,187 I slept with Rebecca's friend Sassy. 46 00:03:09,273 --> 00:03:11,942 - Want to talk about it? - I'd love to. Yeah. Immediately. 47 00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:16,405 There you are. 48 00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:18,156 I thought this room was haunted. 49 00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,409 No. We sorted that. 50 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:22,786 Is now a good time? 51 00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:25,139 Yeah. You can come in. She can't hear anything with those in. 52 00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:26,164 You sure? 53 00:03:27,249 --> 00:03:29,626 Gail, you think the royal family are lizards, right? 54 00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:34,256 Twenty-three. So young. 55 00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:35,674 What's she listening to? 56 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:37,467 Always murder podcasts. 57 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,805 Last night was crazy. 58 00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:44,975 Right, yeah. It was pretty sloppy. 59 00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:50,022 I could really use a bucket of coffee to nurse this hangover. 60 00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:54,943 Do you wanna go get one with me when you're done? 61 00:03:55,027 --> 00:03:57,696 Not today. I can't. I'm busy. 62 00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:58,989 He's lying. 63 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,534 Right. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave, 64 00:04:02,618 --> 00:04:05,638 'cause she's about to go to town on my hamstrings and I make a lot of noises, 65 00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:07,414 and I don't like people hearing my noises. 66 00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:09,708 Cool. All right. I'll see you around, yeah? 67 00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:11,376 Okay. 68 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:16,757 'Cause, look, it's just not something I've ever done before, okay? 69 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:20,260 And look, I got no judgment on people that have one-night stands, okay? 70 00:04:20,344 --> 00:04:24,473 I mean, if you are, you know, nuts for butts, have at it. That's what I say. 71 00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:25,682 Coach, did you have fun? 72 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:28,393 Come on, Coach. I don't like all that kiss-and-tell stuff. 73 00:04:28,477 --> 00:04:31,021 Coach, did you have fun? 74 00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:35,359 And did she have fun? 75 00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:41,156 Yeah, that movement's making me feel queasy. 76 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,950 Okay. So, then what's the problem? 77 00:04:43,033 --> 00:04:45,744 I mean, maybe I just haven't really come to peace with the fact 78 00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:50,082 that I went from having a mental breakdown at a karaoke joint in Liverpool 79 00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:52,543 to, you know, sleeping with a woman I just met. 80 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:55,087 And then somewhere in between there, getting a divorce. 81 00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:57,798 - Well, it makes sense to me. - I must say that this is lovely. 82 00:04:58,632 --> 00:04:59,633 Ever since I was little, 83 00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:01,903 I always used to dream about sitting down with a bunch of mates 84 00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:04,167 talking about the complex dynamics between men and women. 85 00:05:06,557 --> 00:05:09,037 Okay, here's another question for y'all. Should I tell Rebecca? 86 00:05:09,101 --> 00:05:11,186 - No. - Come on now. Why not? 87 00:05:11,270 --> 00:05:14,270 I mean, it'd break my heart if I found out she was hiding something from me. 88 00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:21,422 - What's happening? You having a meeting? - Yep. I'm having lady problems. 89 00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:23,286 - I'd love to get your perspective on it. - No. 90 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,010 Ted, can I be honest with you? 91 00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:27,244 Come on, let it rip. 92 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:31,290 You seem intent on going 12 rounds with yourself. Why? 93 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,250 What did you do wrong? 94 00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:35,085 He's right. 95 00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:37,254 Time to get you some of these. 96 00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:38,672 What, scissors? 97 00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:40,507 Yeah. To cut yourself some slack. 98 00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:43,760 Wow. 99 00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:47,014 Y'all stuck the landing on that. That was nice. 100 00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:49,808 Tell you what, I gotta get you all some satin jackets made, 101 00:05:49,892 --> 00:05:53,478 with "Ted Lasso's Personal Dilemma Squad" embroidered on the back there. 102 00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:55,623 That's a clunky name. There's gotta be something better here. 103 00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:59,151 Let me think. I know. How about the "EQ Warriors"? 104 00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:01,278 The "Knights of Support"? 105 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:04,239 Nah. Sounds like a brand of jockstrap. 106 00:06:05,324 --> 00:06:07,868 The "Proud Boys"? 107 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,830 What about the "Diamond Dogs"? 108 00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:15,501 Attaboy, Nate. Diamond Dogs it is. 109 00:06:24,343 --> 00:06:25,761 Come on, Roy. 110 00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:37,901 I thought you were supposed to be in Manchester. 111 00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:39,983 We played West Ham, so I'm in town. 112 00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:43,654 Yeah. Come in. How you doing? 113 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:44,863 Yeah, I'm good. 114 00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:48,075 I had ten touches, I had two completed dribbles, 115 00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:50,053 and in the 89th minute they let me take a free kick. 116 00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:51,870 I scored. Got half a chub. 117 00:06:51,954 --> 00:06:55,123 So you thought you'd bring your half-chub over here then, right? 118 00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:57,793 No. No, I just... wanted to talk. 119 00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:01,797 You know, everything happened so fast when Lasso dumped me. 120 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:05,676 Oi. Come on. Lasso didn't dump you. Man City wanted you back. 121 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:08,470 No, no. Lasso could have stopped it, but he didn't. Yeah. 122 00:07:08,554 --> 00:07:11,181 Just let me finish, yeah? 123 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:14,852 I dated a lot of girls, right? 124 00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:19,731 But you, you saw an even greater Jamie inside an already great Jamie. 125 00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:23,527 You made me cultured. Took me to plays and shit. 126 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:24,945 You hated all of that. 127 00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:26,148 Yeah, 'cause it's confusing. 128 00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:29,324 They do all these emotional things, make you feel all these emotional ways. 129 00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:31,660 And then they get mad when you start trying to shout out 130 00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:33,370 and talk to them during a performance. 131 00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:35,539 It's weird. 132 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:40,669 You also taught me to try to not get in me own way so much. 133 00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:44,256 So... thank you for that. 134 00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:47,509 You're welcome, Jamie. 135 00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:54,409 You know, this is the first time you've been over to this house 136 00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:56,473 and you haven't sent me some, like, weird sex emoji. 137 00:07:56,518 --> 00:08:01,064 - Like the eggplant or the squirting water. - Or the little squirrel. 138 00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,192 The little squirrel. I never understood that one. 139 00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:05,235 Well, he's holding a little nut, isn't he? 140 00:08:05,319 --> 00:08:06,528 - Yeah. - Yeah. 141 00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:07,779 He is. Yeah. 142 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,241 Right. 143 00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:12,868 Do you wanna have a drink with me? 144 00:08:13,911 --> 00:08:14,912 Nah. 145 00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:20,959 Unless by "drink" you mean... 146 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,714 So that's how you get sex? 147 00:08:26,465 --> 00:08:28,300 By not trying for sex? 148 00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:33,679 Sometimes that is exactly how it works. 149 00:08:34,389 --> 00:08:35,557 I never knew that. 150 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:41,730 Morning, boss. 151 00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:45,734 Now, you don't just get biscuits today. 152 00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:48,570 I also got you a little box of chocolate truffles. 153 00:08:48,654 --> 00:08:51,156 Oh, you fucker. Don't do this to me. 154 00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,593 What you should do is take one of them truffles 155 00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:56,304 and smoosh it in between the biscuits like it's a little breakfast sandwich... 156 00:08:56,328 --> 00:08:57,704 Yeah, there you go. You got it. 157 00:08:58,288 --> 00:08:59,289 Yeah. 158 00:09:00,082 --> 00:09:04,670 Yeah. And hey, I wanna thank you again for being there for me up in Liverpool. 159 00:09:05,796 --> 00:09:07,923 - It was nothing, Ted. - No, no. It was something. 160 00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:10,843 You got a coupon for life, young lady. Yeah. I got your back. 161 00:09:10,926 --> 00:09:14,221 Think of me as your own personal metaphorical Saint Bernard. 162 00:09:14,304 --> 00:09:16,890 You don't need to be dealing with a metaphorical avalanche 163 00:09:16,974 --> 00:09:20,227 to avail yourself to the metaphorical bourbon hanging around my neck. 164 00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:21,937 Metaphorically speaking. Okay? 165 00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,021 All right now. 166 00:09:23,105 --> 00:09:24,314 Actually, Ted. 167 00:09:24,940 --> 00:09:26,775 If you do want to be there for me, 168 00:09:26,859 --> 00:09:30,112 I have a meeting later with two minority owners of the club. 169 00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:31,196 The Milk sisters. 170 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:33,407 The most horrible human cocktail 171 00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:36,994 of being terribly dull and yet, they never shut up. 172 00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,078 Please join me. 173 00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:39,329 Done and doner. 174 00:09:40,122 --> 00:09:43,041 Perfect. I can just introduce you all, 175 00:09:43,125 --> 00:09:45,836 leave you wittering on, and slip out and do anything else. 176 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,105 How much of the club they own? 177 00:09:47,129 --> 00:09:48,297 2.9%. 178 00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:52,301 I'm gonna round that down to two. Then I can call those gals the "2% Milks." 179 00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:53,969 Oh, God. They're gonna adore you. 180 00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:56,805 It's gonna be fun. All right. I'll leave you be. See ya now. 181 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:01,578 In my experience, I've always found that endorsements work best 182 00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:03,079 if you really believe in the product. 183 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,731 So, I can find good opportunities for you guys 184 00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:07,524 if you let me know what you're into. 185 00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:08,817 I love Air Jordans. 186 00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:11,069 I'd fuck a pair of Jordans. 187 00:10:11,737 --> 00:10:13,447 All right. So, athletic wear then, yeah? 188 00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:15,532 I'm into issue-oriented products. 189 00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:17,409 You know, pro-environment or anti-pollution. 190 00:10:17,492 --> 00:10:18,535 That kind of thing. 191 00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:20,412 Oh, and also Air Jordans. 192 00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:22,206 But I don't want to sleep with them. 193 00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:23,749 Isaac, what about you? 194 00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:25,501 Rolos. 195 00:10:26,210 --> 00:10:29,546 So, sweets and chocolate then? 196 00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:32,299 No. Just Rolos, yeah? 197 00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:34,885 And none of that Sour Patch bullshit either, yeah? 198 00:10:35,469 --> 00:10:36,512 Okay. 199 00:10:36,595 --> 00:10:39,139 Well, that's a great start from you guys. Thank you. 200 00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:42,351 Hey, Captain. 201 00:10:45,229 --> 00:10:46,230 What's all this? 202 00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:48,153 Rebecca's letting me use this room as my office 203 00:10:48,232 --> 00:10:50,943 until she sets me up with somewhere proper. That's why I have this. 204 00:10:51,026 --> 00:10:53,746 So if they need to use the room, I can just shove everything into it. 205 00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:55,822 Efficient. Do you want to see a movie later? 206 00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:58,492 - What the fuck is wrong with you? - What? 207 00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:00,762 I asked you if you wanted to go get coffee with me yesterday 208 00:11:00,786 --> 00:11:02,538 - and you said you were busy. - I was busy. 209 00:11:02,621 --> 00:11:05,040 - You never texted me back last night. - Yeah. I was busy. 210 00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:07,101 What about the kiss? You took off like it was a shit kiss, 211 00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:09,002 and it was not a shit kiss. I was on fire. 212 00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:11,880 - I agree. - So what is your fucking problem, Roy? 213 00:11:11,964 --> 00:11:14,299 Listen, I'm a professional footballer. 214 00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:16,510 I have had a million one-night stands. 215 00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:17,594 - So have I. - Great. 216 00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:19,572 - I don't know why we're bragging about it. - Neither do I. 217 00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:22,599 And they always feel empty. Well, not the first part. 218 00:11:22,683 --> 00:11:24,702 - No, at first they're wicked. - They're fucking great. 219 00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:27,020 - But when it's all done, I feel like... - Like shit. 220 00:11:27,104 --> 00:11:30,148 Exactly. And I always end up with my watch being stolen 221 00:11:30,232 --> 00:11:32,632 or a story in the press about how my penis has a curve in it. 222 00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:33,986 Does it actually? 223 00:11:34,069 --> 00:11:35,964 No, I just make it feel like it does with my hips. 224 00:11:35,988 --> 00:11:38,782 Anyway, the point is, I'm trying to do this differently. 225 00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:42,452 I should have told you that. I apologize. 226 00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:48,584 And I am trying to be more honest. 227 00:11:49,293 --> 00:11:50,294 Thank you. 228 00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:52,087 Okay, then. 229 00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:56,884 I think you should know that I slept with Jamie. 230 00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:58,051 Yes, I am aware of that. 231 00:11:58,135 --> 00:11:59,511 I mean last night. 232 00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:02,890 I didn't think you were into me. 233 00:12:02,973 --> 00:12:05,451 I didn't know what you wanted, and I knew exactly what he wanted. 234 00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:08,435 So you fucked him to get back at me for something I didn't even know I did. 235 00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:10,898 No. I... No. 236 00:12:11,565 --> 00:12:12,649 No. 237 00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:13,734 Yes. 238 00:12:14,318 --> 00:12:16,236 Yup. That's exactly what I did. 239 00:12:18,572 --> 00:12:20,991 I fucked up, Roy. I'm really sorry. 240 00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:24,077 But I need you to be okay with this. 241 00:12:26,455 --> 00:12:28,935 Well, why don't you just come and tell me how you feel about it 242 00:12:28,999 --> 00:12:30,679 once you've figured out how to speak again? 243 00:12:45,349 --> 00:12:46,350 Hi, Roy. 244 00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,106 Something on your mind? 245 00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:57,277 Is that grunt all I get to go on? 246 00:12:57,361 --> 00:12:59,947 That's okay. I'll give it a shot here. Let's see. 247 00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:02,950 You are thinking about buying your first house. 248 00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:05,202 No, not that. Okay. 249 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:08,497 You just realized your dad might be a little racist. 250 00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:11,124 Stop. He's in his 60s and he's from South London. 251 00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:12,602 Of course my dad's a little racist. 252 00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:15,379 Look, me and Keeley might be starting up a thing, 253 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:18,882 but every time I think about her, 254 00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:21,260 all I think about is Jamie fucking Tartt. 255 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:27,599 Sounds to me like someone's trapped inside life's most complicated shape. 256 00:13:27,683 --> 00:13:28,684 A love triangle. 257 00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:31,937 Second place of course is the "I just walked in on my mother-in-law 258 00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:34,106 changing into her swimsuit" dodecahedron. 259 00:13:34,189 --> 00:13:36,900 Does my face look like it's in the mood for shape-based jokes? 260 00:13:36,984 --> 00:13:38,318 No, Roy, it does not. 261 00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:40,946 But, in my defense, it rarely does. 262 00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:43,073 I know exactly what to do here, though. 263 00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:45,576 What are you doing? 264 00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:47,661 Don't you fret, my fine furry fella. 265 00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:51,707 In a matter of minutes, your relationship dilemma will be in the past. 266 00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:54,168 For I am rounding up the Diamond Dogs. 267 00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:56,295 Who the fuck are the Diamond Dogs? 268 00:13:56,378 --> 00:13:58,672 It's just a group of people who care, Roy. 269 00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:01,884 Not unlike folks at a hip-hop concert whose hands are not in the air. 270 00:14:01,967 --> 00:14:04,136 Okay, so this is about you and Keeley, right? 271 00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:07,806 - Saw this coming. - Nothing like the early days of courtship. 272 00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:09,600 Okay, this is my fucking nightmare. 273 00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:12,519 I think the idea of you and Keeley is like cookies and cream. 274 00:14:12,603 --> 00:14:15,898 And I think we all agree, two great tastes that go great together, right? 275 00:14:15,981 --> 00:14:17,191 - Yeah. - Perfect analogy. 276 00:14:17,274 --> 00:14:20,027 Yes, I am into her. But we all know who her ex-boyfriend is. 277 00:14:20,110 --> 00:14:22,154 The prince prick of all pricks. 278 00:14:22,237 --> 00:14:24,364 And I've got him stuck right in here. 279 00:14:24,448 --> 00:14:25,824 I don't understand the problem. 280 00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:27,576 I mean, Keeley's just so kind. 281 00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:31,330 You know, to be liked by someone like her must be... 's wonderful. 282 00:14:31,413 --> 00:14:33,290 Shout out to the Gershwin brothers right there. 283 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:34,708 Fuck yeah, the Gershwins. 284 00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:36,478 But dang it, fellas, you're still not getting it! 285 00:14:36,502 --> 00:14:37,502 Thank you. 286 00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:41,423 Sure, Roy here has slept with a bunch of different people in his past. 287 00:14:41,507 --> 00:14:45,552 But Keeley's got her own romantic and sexual history that predates Roy. 288 00:14:45,636 --> 00:14:46,970 And that's not okay! 289 00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:49,223 He means the opposite. 290 00:14:49,306 --> 00:14:51,183 I love it when Coach does sarcasm. 291 00:14:51,767 --> 00:14:53,227 I can't control my feelings. 292 00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:56,188 Well, then by all means you should let them control you. 293 00:14:57,231 --> 00:14:58,315 He's doing it again. 294 00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:00,067 Good eye. 295 00:15:00,150 --> 00:15:02,986 Look, Roy, all this Chandler Bing-ing aside, do me a favor. 296 00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:05,364 Don't let her past muck around with y'all's future, okay? 297 00:15:05,447 --> 00:15:07,574 She slept with him last night. 298 00:15:10,244 --> 00:15:13,038 - I mean, are you two officially dating? - No. 299 00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:15,082 - Have you already slept together? - No. 300 00:15:15,165 --> 00:15:16,792 Coach, you wanna bring this home? 301 00:15:18,168 --> 00:15:20,629 Grow up and get over it. 302 00:15:23,507 --> 00:15:25,467 The Diamond Dogs have struck again. 303 00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:30,722 You're all pricks. 304 00:15:35,394 --> 00:15:37,855 All righty. See the Milk sisters anywhere? 305 00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:39,565 You want me to go skim the back room? 306 00:15:40,232 --> 00:15:42,293 - Don't make me regret this, Ted. - Don't worry, don't worry. 307 00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:43,986 I'm gonna be an udder gentleman, okay? 308 00:15:44,069 --> 00:15:47,865 Hey, I wonder if they've ever seen the movie Bridget Jones's Dairy. 309 00:15:48,532 --> 00:15:50,510 Sorry, that's not my breast milk pun. I can do better. 310 00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:53,054 Oh, my God, this was a horrible idea. Seriously, please go home. 311 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:55,414 - Come on. It's gonna be fun. - Stop. 312 00:15:57,416 --> 00:15:58,750 There she is. 313 00:16:02,421 --> 00:16:03,606 Rupert, what are you doing here? 314 00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:05,382 We came to celebrate. 315 00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:07,676 Rebecca, Rebecca. Rebecca, Rebecca. 316 00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:09,094 It's nice to see you again. 317 00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,847 - And this is Ted. - Howdy. 318 00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:13,765 Yeah. Join us for a drink. 319 00:16:13,849 --> 00:16:16,226 Here you go, Rupert. Anything else? 320 00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:19,354 A couple more glasses for our friends here. Thank you, Mae. 321 00:16:19,438 --> 00:16:23,400 You are as delicious as ever. From your West End to your Marble Arch. 322 00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:24,985 Keep your Big Ben in your pants. 323 00:16:29,156 --> 00:16:30,300 Thank you for your invitation, 324 00:16:30,324 --> 00:16:32,177 but we're actually here to meet with the Milk sisters. 325 00:16:32,201 --> 00:16:33,577 They won't be coming now. 326 00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,329 Oh, no. Did they expire? 327 00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:36,413 What? 328 00:16:37,331 --> 00:16:38,832 So, yeah, I... 329 00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:44,588 I know I'm not allowed an ownership stake in the club, 330 00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:48,509 but they were nice enough to sell their minority share to Bex here. 331 00:16:49,134 --> 00:16:51,720 I always thought I'd finish paying off my student loans 332 00:16:51,803 --> 00:16:54,097 before I purchased a football club. 333 00:16:55,140 --> 00:16:58,894 Obviously, she needed a little financial aid from yours truly. 334 00:16:58,977 --> 00:17:02,356 But, well, when we're married, what's hers will be mine 335 00:17:02,439 --> 00:17:07,027 and what's mine... well, that'll stay mine 'cause I've learned from you. 336 00:17:07,653 --> 00:17:08,779 You're engaged? 337 00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:14,826 Hey. Congratulations. 338 00:17:14,910 --> 00:17:16,262 So you better join us for a drink. 339 00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:19,830 Everyone! Drinks with us. It's on me. 340 00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:25,503 Three lagers, please, Mae. They're free. We want the boots. 341 00:17:26,505 --> 00:17:27,505 To Richmond! 342 00:17:27,548 --> 00:17:30,342 Richmond! Richmond! Richmond! Richmond! 343 00:17:30,425 --> 00:17:32,386 Richmond! Richmond! Richmond! 344 00:17:33,387 --> 00:17:37,182 Right. The product you'd most like to get into business with is joy? 345 00:17:37,266 --> 00:17:39,101 Sí. Mucho, mucho joy. 346 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:42,104 I don't know if I can get you paid for that though, Dani. 347 00:17:42,187 --> 00:17:44,356 I like to give away joy for free. 348 00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:47,025 - All right, thanks, Dani. - You're welcome. 349 00:17:48,277 --> 00:17:50,988 Hey. Football is life, Capitán. 350 00:17:51,446 --> 00:17:52,447 Yup. 351 00:17:57,244 --> 00:17:59,329 I'm done being mad about Jamie. 352 00:17:59,413 --> 00:18:01,832 I'm a grown man. I'm not a baby child. 353 00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:04,668 I'm over it. 354 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:07,379 Right. Would you mind saying that to the rest of the room? 355 00:18:08,380 --> 00:18:10,007 I mean, the press deserves to know. 356 00:18:17,848 --> 00:18:18,891 Mr. Kent! 357 00:18:18,974 --> 00:18:21,727 - Yeah. - Hi. Keeley Jones, The Independent Woman. 358 00:18:22,561 --> 00:18:24,354 Would you please repeat what you just said? 359 00:18:25,189 --> 00:18:26,899 I'm over it. 360 00:18:26,982 --> 00:18:29,276 Can I take you out tonight? Please? 361 00:18:34,907 --> 00:18:35,908 Yeah. You. 362 00:18:36,867 --> 00:18:39,328 Keeley Jones, The Independent Woman Online Edition. 363 00:18:39,411 --> 00:18:41,955 So, why should I trust this sudden change of heart? 364 00:18:43,332 --> 00:18:45,292 'Cause I like you more than I hate him. 365 00:18:47,628 --> 00:18:49,880 I mean, barely. It's very close. 366 00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:53,425 Yeah. Woman with the hair. 367 00:18:53,509 --> 00:18:55,469 Keeley Jones, The Independent Woman Magazine. 368 00:18:55,552 --> 00:18:58,263 Where would you take me if I did say yes? 369 00:18:58,347 --> 00:19:01,517 - I don't know. Coffee? - Can't do any better? 370 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:03,727 - Dinner. - Yeah, that sounds great. 371 00:19:08,065 --> 00:19:11,151 Yeah, woman with the fucking eyes. 372 00:19:11,235 --> 00:19:14,029 Keeley Jones, The Independent Woman insert on Sunday. 373 00:19:14,112 --> 00:19:15,948 Could you please elaborate on the hip movement 374 00:19:16,031 --> 00:19:18,408 that makes your penis feel like it has a curve in it? 375 00:19:18,492 --> 00:19:20,869 Right, no more questions. We'll see you on the pitch. 376 00:19:24,289 --> 00:19:25,832 To Rupert! 377 00:19:27,668 --> 00:19:30,629 Friends, Richmonds, countrymen. 378 00:19:30,712 --> 00:19:33,841 Our club's nightmare is over now. I'm back. 379 00:19:33,924 --> 00:19:36,885 Thank God. 'Cause Ted Lasso sucks. 380 00:19:36,969 --> 00:19:38,929 - No offense, Ted. - All good, Baz. 381 00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:41,012 You, Jeremy, and Paul have been refreshingly candid 382 00:19:41,056 --> 00:19:42,307 about y'all's feelings. 383 00:19:42,391 --> 00:19:44,351 Pretty cool Premier League gaffer knows our names. 384 00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:46,103 - I know, right? - Shut up, you twats. 385 00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:48,438 I'm trying again. No help. 386 00:19:48,522 --> 00:19:50,357 Right. So, if she hits the board, 387 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,484 I want it to sound like we just won the FA Cup. 388 00:19:58,907 --> 00:19:59,908 You wanna leave? 389 00:20:00,993 --> 00:20:02,593 I don't wanna give him the satisfaction. 390 00:20:03,287 --> 00:20:06,832 So, Rebecca, it's time to be friends again. 391 00:20:06,915 --> 00:20:11,170 Especially since Bex and I are gonna be sitting with you 392 00:20:11,253 --> 00:20:13,630 every week in that owner's box. 393 00:20:13,714 --> 00:20:14,882 I'm not going every week. 394 00:20:14,965 --> 00:20:16,425 Well, I am. 395 00:20:16,508 --> 00:20:21,346 And every week, when they shove a camera in my face 396 00:20:21,430 --> 00:20:25,309 and ask me how I think you're doing, I will tell them. 397 00:20:26,143 --> 00:20:28,896 It'll be relentless. 398 00:20:32,107 --> 00:20:35,986 So, Rupert, y'all take your darts over here pretty seriously, huh? 399 00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:38,906 This and... what's the billiard game y'all do 400 00:20:38,989 --> 00:20:40,866 that sounds like a brand of cookies? 401 00:20:41,491 --> 00:20:43,285 - Snooker? - That's it. That's the one, yup. 402 00:20:43,368 --> 00:20:46,788 Boy, I'd love to curl up on a couch under a weighted blanket, 403 00:20:46,872 --> 00:20:49,708 watch You've Got Mail and devour a box of Snookers. 404 00:20:51,835 --> 00:20:52,836 See what we got here. 405 00:20:53,837 --> 00:20:55,005 Hey! There it is. 406 00:20:55,631 --> 00:20:58,842 - Do you like darts, Ted? - They're okay. 407 00:20:58,926 --> 00:21:02,179 I'm more of a, you know, cornhole man myself. Yeah. 408 00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:05,265 How about a game? 409 00:21:05,349 --> 00:21:09,561 We could, you know, maybe wager, say, £10,000? 410 00:21:11,313 --> 00:21:14,650 Well, as my doctor told me when I got addicted to fettuccine Alfredo, 411 00:21:14,733 --> 00:21:16,527 that's a little rich for my blood. 412 00:21:17,236 --> 00:21:19,196 How about this? If you win, 413 00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:22,199 I'll let you pick the starting lineup of the last two games of the season. 414 00:21:22,366 --> 00:21:25,410 But if I win, you can't go anywhere near the owner's box, 415 00:21:25,494 --> 00:21:27,096 at least not while Rebecca's still in charge. 416 00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:28,330 Ted. 417 00:21:29,289 --> 00:21:30,415 What the hell are you doing? 418 00:21:30,499 --> 00:21:32,227 I believe some folks call it white knighting, 419 00:21:32,251 --> 00:21:33,520 but I'm just following my gut here. 420 00:21:33,544 --> 00:21:34,545 - It's okay. - No. Ted. 421 00:21:35,587 --> 00:21:37,464 - What do you think? - You're on. 422 00:21:37,548 --> 00:21:39,800 - Okay. - Double in, double out. 423 00:21:39,883 --> 00:21:41,718 Whatever you say, Rupe-a-dupes. Yeah. 424 00:21:41,802 --> 00:21:44,555 Just let me know if I'm winning or losing, all right? 425 00:21:44,638 --> 00:21:46,557 I forgot I had these on me. 426 00:21:48,851 --> 00:21:50,394 Yeah. Wait a second. 427 00:21:51,395 --> 00:21:52,938 I forgot I'm left-handed. 428 00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:56,984 This is gonna be a hoot. 429 00:21:59,361 --> 00:22:01,481 - So where are we going for dinner? - It's a surprise. 430 00:22:02,030 --> 00:22:03,031 Cool. 431 00:22:06,201 --> 00:22:07,536 I need to ask you something. 432 00:22:07,619 --> 00:22:11,290 So, the other day when you said you were too busy to text me back... 433 00:22:11,373 --> 00:22:12,833 Yeah, 'cause I was busy. 434 00:22:12,916 --> 00:22:14,877 But you never told me what you were too busy with. 435 00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:16,420 Yeah, 'cause it was private. 436 00:22:17,754 --> 00:22:19,506 Are you dating other people? 437 00:22:20,340 --> 00:22:23,319 It's okay if you are. It's just that I wanna know so that I don't look stupid. 438 00:22:23,343 --> 00:22:25,053 It was yoga, okay? 439 00:22:25,137 --> 00:22:27,264 I do yoga with a group of women in their 60s. 440 00:22:27,347 --> 00:22:28,640 They have no idea who I am, 441 00:22:28,724 --> 00:22:30,726 it's twice a week and it's really good for my core. 442 00:22:30,809 --> 00:22:33,371 Normally only takes an hour, but Maureen's been going through a divorce 443 00:22:33,395 --> 00:22:35,373 and she needed to talk about it and blow off some steam. 444 00:22:35,397 --> 00:22:37,274 We all ended up at G-A-Y till 2:00 a.m. 445 00:22:37,357 --> 00:22:39,818 and then we had crepes in Balham with some drag queens. 446 00:22:41,403 --> 00:22:44,114 Like I said, it's private. 447 00:22:44,198 --> 00:22:45,532 I'm gonna kiss you now. 448 00:22:45,616 --> 00:22:47,951 Unless it's gonna make you run away again. 449 00:22:48,035 --> 00:22:51,914 I know that you wanna take this slow and I really do respect that, but it... 450 00:22:52,581 --> 00:22:56,376 Maybe I could just touch your arse a little bit or you could touch mine... 451 00:23:05,677 --> 00:23:07,721 Where's your manners? 452 00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:10,600 You're supposed to ask before you take something. 453 00:23:11,517 --> 00:23:13,685 For example, may I take this? 454 00:23:13,769 --> 00:23:15,521 - No. - Well, I'm fucking taking it. 455 00:23:16,271 --> 00:23:18,565 Here. It's pictures of our first date. 456 00:23:19,358 --> 00:23:21,318 Come on. I'm cooking for you. 457 00:23:25,239 --> 00:23:27,407 One hundred and eighty! 458 00:23:27,491 --> 00:23:28,867 Well in, Rupert. Get in! 459 00:23:28,951 --> 00:23:31,453 Shut your stupid little twat mouth or I will shut it for you. 460 00:23:32,829 --> 00:23:35,332 Shall I be giving you the lineup card now, Ted? 461 00:23:35,415 --> 00:23:39,378 I shall be putting Obisanya back on defense where he belongs. 462 00:23:39,461 --> 00:23:41,421 That's exactly what I said, didn't I? 463 00:23:41,505 --> 00:23:43,507 Now, now, it's not all Ted's fault. 464 00:23:43,590 --> 00:23:47,469 My ex-wife's the one who brought the hillbilly to our shores. 465 00:23:47,553 --> 00:23:49,179 I know she's always been a bit randy, 466 00:23:49,263 --> 00:23:52,474 but I never thought she would fuck over an entire team. 467 00:23:53,225 --> 00:23:54,309 Hey! 468 00:23:55,644 --> 00:23:57,688 Better manners when I'm holding a dart. 469 00:23:57,771 --> 00:23:58,856 Please. 470 00:24:03,277 --> 00:24:05,279 Mae. What do I need to win? 471 00:24:05,362 --> 00:24:07,447 Two triple 20s and a bull's-eye. 472 00:24:09,616 --> 00:24:10,617 Good luck. 473 00:24:13,787 --> 00:24:17,082 You know, Rupert, guys have underestimated me my entire life. 474 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,752 And for years, I never understood why. It used to really bother me. 475 00:24:20,836 --> 00:24:23,505 But then one day, I was driving my little boy to school 476 00:24:23,589 --> 00:24:27,092 and I saw this quote by Walt Whitman and it was painted on the wall there. 477 00:24:27,176 --> 00:24:30,220 It said, "Be curious, not judgmental." 478 00:24:31,180 --> 00:24:32,306 I like that. 479 00:24:36,268 --> 00:24:38,604 So I get back in my car and I'm driving to work, 480 00:24:38,687 --> 00:24:40,731 and all of a sudden it hits me. 481 00:24:40,814 --> 00:24:45,652 All them fellas that used to belittle me, not a single one of them were curious. 482 00:24:46,737 --> 00:24:48,657 They thought they had everything all figured out. 483 00:24:48,697 --> 00:24:52,201 So they judged everything, and they judged everyone. 484 00:24:53,368 --> 00:24:55,913 And I realized that their underestimating me... 485 00:24:57,873 --> 00:24:59,750 who I was had nothing to do with it. 486 00:25:01,585 --> 00:25:04,588 'Cause if they were curious, they would've asked questions. 487 00:25:05,172 --> 00:25:06,381 You know? 488 00:25:06,465 --> 00:25:09,885 Questions like, "Have you played a lot of darts, Ted?" 489 00:25:14,306 --> 00:25:17,434 To which I would've answered, "Yes, sir. 490 00:25:18,227 --> 00:25:20,646 Every Sunday afternoon at a sports bar with my father, 491 00:25:20,729 --> 00:25:23,649 from age ten till I was 16, when he passed away." 492 00:25:29,488 --> 00:25:30,906 Barbecue sauce. 493 00:25:37,788 --> 00:25:39,998 - Good game, Rupert. - Come on, let's go. 494 00:25:41,041 --> 00:25:44,253 You are a very lovely consolation prize. 495 00:25:44,753 --> 00:25:47,589 Rebecca, Ted, enjoy your evening. 496 00:25:47,673 --> 00:25:48,966 Mae, as always. 497 00:25:49,591 --> 00:25:52,261 Holy shit, that felt good. 498 00:25:52,344 --> 00:25:54,137 That was fun. Yeah. 499 00:25:54,221 --> 00:25:56,515 - Only one thing left to do now. - What's that? 500 00:25:59,017 --> 00:26:00,185 Do I have to? 501 00:26:03,230 --> 00:26:05,023 Drinks are on me! 502 00:26:19,121 --> 00:26:21,832 Fellas, I could watch you do this jaunty North Korean military thing 503 00:26:21,915 --> 00:26:23,750 you do all day, but I need a favor. 504 00:26:23,834 --> 00:26:25,127 We'll die for you, Coach! 505 00:26:25,210 --> 00:26:27,491 That's a little dramatic, Sam, but I see how you got there 506 00:26:27,546 --> 00:26:28,982 with me invoking the military and all. 507 00:26:29,006 --> 00:26:30,233 Now here's what we're gonna do. 508 00:26:30,257 --> 00:26:32,176 How many of you fellas ever seen Sesame Street? 509 00:26:37,514 --> 00:26:40,309 - Good morning, Higgins. - Good morning. One sec. 510 00:26:40,392 --> 00:26:42,352 Yeah, that's good. Straighten up. All right. 511 00:26:43,270 --> 00:26:45,564 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold on one sec. Let me get in my spot. 512 00:26:45,647 --> 00:26:47,524 Okay. Here it comes, here it comes. Let's go. 513 00:26:53,030 --> 00:26:54,031 Hi, Ted. 514 00:26:54,615 --> 00:26:55,657 Can't hear you! 515 00:26:57,492 --> 00:26:59,203 Hi! 516 00:26:59,286 --> 00:27:01,038 Yeah! Yeah! 517 00:27:01,121 --> 00:27:02,706 We felt it, she felt it! 518 00:27:02,789 --> 00:27:05,292 That's what I'm talking about. Yeah! Yeah! 519 00:27:06,502 --> 00:27:08,170 Got up too fast. 520 00:27:09,213 --> 00:27:12,132 Ted embarrassed the hell out of Rupert yesterday. 521 00:27:12,925 --> 00:27:13,926 That's good. 522 00:27:14,927 --> 00:27:15,928 Bit of bad news. 523 00:27:16,011 --> 00:27:21,016 We have ten thousand unsold seats for the final match of the season. 524 00:27:21,099 --> 00:27:22,476 Release them to the visitors. 525 00:27:23,644 --> 00:27:26,855 But Rebecca, Man City will snap those up. 526 00:27:26,939 --> 00:27:30,108 Our home stadium will be a sea of sky blue. 527 00:27:30,943 --> 00:27:32,361 That'll kill Rupert. 528 00:27:32,444 --> 00:27:36,281 It'll hurt our chances. We're on the brink of relegation. 529 00:27:36,365 --> 00:27:37,783 Just do it, Higgins. 530 00:27:39,743 --> 00:27:41,954 Oh, you know, fuck off! 531 00:27:42,037 --> 00:27:43,205 Excuse me? 532 00:27:43,288 --> 00:27:44,540 I'm sick of it. 533 00:27:45,791 --> 00:27:49,920 You won't take away your pain by constantly punishing Rupert. 534 00:27:50,003 --> 00:27:52,273 Where were these morals when you were having lunches with me 535 00:27:52,297 --> 00:27:53,841 so Rupert could have sex in our house? 536 00:27:55,217 --> 00:27:56,677 I thought we were friends. 537 00:27:57,636 --> 00:28:01,473 You had every opportunity to do the right thing and you never did. 538 00:28:01,557 --> 00:28:02,933 Fucking pussy. 539 00:28:03,725 --> 00:28:07,938 You're right. I deserve to carry that around. I do. 540 00:28:08,021 --> 00:28:13,443 I should've been braver, and I'm sorry for that. I am. 541 00:28:13,527 --> 00:28:17,239 But I'm saying this to you now. Stop it. 542 00:28:17,322 --> 00:28:18,615 Or what? 543 00:28:19,741 --> 00:28:20,742 I quit. 544 00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:23,662 I know how this goes. 545 00:28:24,204 --> 00:28:27,082 You'll come back, grovel for your job, and I'll take you back, 546 00:28:27,165 --> 00:28:30,085 but I will make your life just that little bit worse. 547 00:28:40,179 --> 00:28:41,430 Hi. 548 00:28:44,099 --> 00:28:45,939 You arranged for the photographer to take this. 549 00:28:45,976 --> 00:28:48,520 Roy and I found it on a paparazzi camera card. 550 00:28:48,604 --> 00:28:50,439 He said you hired him. 551 00:28:50,522 --> 00:28:53,192 Don't deny it or pretend that you don't know. 552 00:28:55,027 --> 00:28:57,404 Either you come clean to Ted or I'll do it for you. 553 00:28:57,428 --> 00:29:00,428 Subtitles Diego Moraes www.opensubtitles.org