1 00:00:04,046 --> 00:00:07,007 I don't wanna ride back with you guys. Rather go shake this off. 2 00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:09,343 Yeah, sure. No, of course. 3 00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:13,555 Hey. Hey, hey. Just— Be careful out there, all right? 4 00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:17,392 Yeah? Okay. And don't forget, 5 00:00:17,976 --> 00:00:22,064 tomorrow it's your turn for coffee at the game film, all right? 6 00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:23,357 - Yeah. - Bright and early. 7 00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:28,946 Hey, Coach. Bird by bird. 8 00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,323 Not that kind of bird. 9 00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:43,627 Blue moon You saw me standing alone 10 00:00:44,169 --> 00:00:48,799 Without a dream in my heart 11 00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:52,010 Without a love of my own 12 00:00:56,849 --> 00:00:59,184 Mind the gap. 13 00:00:59,852 --> 00:01:03,272 This is the southbound metropolitan line train to Aldgate. 14 00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:10,195 Doors closing. Stand clear of the doors, please. 15 00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:38,492 It was moment after moment like this. 16 00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:40,702 A real David versus Goliath match, 17 00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:44,665 but where Goliath just curb-stomped David in the back of the skull 18 00:02:44,748 --> 00:02:46,416 like in that Ed Norton movie. 19 00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:47,960 Moonrise Kingdom? 20 00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:49,545 I think that's it, yeah. 21 00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:53,048 Yeah. Well, for me, the match was a real Cinderella story. 22 00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:57,010 If her glass slipper broke and sliced her Achilles tendon. 23 00:02:57,094 --> 00:02:59,638 Thierry, was this just an off day for the players? 24 00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:01,557 Or do we lay the blame on the coaching staff? 25 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:03,725 100% coaching staff. 26 00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:05,435 Those are good footballers. 27 00:03:06,061 --> 00:03:08,480 It just felt like Richmond had no plan. 28 00:03:08,564 --> 00:03:12,067 - And what about Coach Beard? - What about him, indeed. 29 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:15,070 Coach Beard knew an aggressive offensive strategy was a mistake. 30 00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:18,907 He should not have let Ted, Nathan and Roy convince him otherwise. 31 00:03:18,991 --> 00:03:22,411 Great point, Thierry. Coach Beard is Ted Lasso's number two. 32 00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:25,247 He's supposed to challenge him, not just be a sniveling lackey. 33 00:03:26,248 --> 00:03:29,126 Look, Gary, the man has no va-va-voom. 34 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:34,173 Does anything say "sad, single man" more than a chessboard coffee table? 35 00:03:36,008 --> 00:03:38,594 I know I'm French and expected to say things like this, 36 00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:41,805 but I hate Coach Beard. 37 00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:45,100 Shut up, Thierry Henry. 38 00:03:45,184 --> 00:03:47,519 After Richard Montlaur earned himself a red card, 39 00:03:47,603 --> 00:03:49,313 things went from bad to worse. 40 00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:14,379 Ted joining you? 41 00:04:14,463 --> 00:04:15,506 No. 42 00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:18,091 - Jane coming? - We broke up. 43 00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:19,593 Shocking. 44 00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:21,720 She accused me of being jealous. Me. 45 00:04:22,513 --> 00:04:24,723 Because I told her it's hard to know where I stand, 46 00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:27,267 which it is, because she never says "I love you." 47 00:04:27,351 --> 00:04:29,603 - Did you say it to her? - I did. 48 00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:31,855 - And she didn't say it back. - She did not. 49 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,983 Thank you for helping me relive that. 50 00:04:35,067 --> 00:04:37,819 Well, you must feel awful. 51 00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:41,657 Reason is powerless in the expression of love. 52 00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:44,326 Nuh-uh. I meant about the match. 53 00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:47,412 What the hell was your thinking behind those tactics? 54 00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:50,374 - Mae. - All right. Enjoy your beer. 55 00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:55,546 But come on. 56 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:58,674 There's no way you thought coming out on the attack was a good idea. 57 00:04:59,341 --> 00:05:02,553 You basically left Zoreaux back there to defend by himself. 58 00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:05,931 In a semifinal… 59 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,059 A semifinal! 60 00:05:39,214 --> 00:05:41,425 Oi, Beard. Dropped your keys. 61 00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:43,385 Thanks. 62 00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:45,971 - Rough match, mate. - We thought you needed a hug. 63 00:05:47,139 --> 00:05:49,725 - I thought you needed a hug. - Do you wanna talk about it? 64 00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:51,351 We can talk and drink 65 00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:54,271 as long as we talk about anything but the game and drink. 66 00:05:59,109 --> 00:06:01,612 - Have you ever been to Vegas? - What's Ted like behind closed doors? 67 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,780 How do you cope knowing the universe is infinite 68 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,991 but your consciousness can end in a second? 69 00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,373 I've been to Vegas many times. 70 00:06:13,457 --> 00:06:16,877 One night is good, two nights is perfect, three is too many. 71 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,254 Ted is a man. Just a man. 72 00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:23,550 And as for the fragility of life, I'm so glad someone finally asked. 73 00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:26,428 Because, yeah, I got a few thoughts. 74 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:35,229 And so, in conclusion, 75 00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:37,689 if this is all indeed a simulation, 76 00:06:37,773 --> 00:06:40,651 which everything in my experience suggests that it is, 77 00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:45,614 then all we can do is tip our caps to the rascal pulling the strings. 78 00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,576 That's it, people. 79 00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:53,956 Just like my legs after a date with a guy who kept correcting me, 80 00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:55,040 we're closed. 81 00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:56,917 You went on a date with Richard? 82 00:06:57,709 --> 00:07:00,546 I think you'll find, Mae, it was two dates. 83 00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:01,630 Out. 84 00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:04,007 Coffee was a date. 85 00:07:20,399 --> 00:07:21,692 Where to next? 86 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,945 Bed. This is England, mate. Pubs shut at 11:30. 87 00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:28,073 Well, I'm not ready for the night to end. Any ideas? 88 00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:30,284 What about Bones & Honey? 89 00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:31,743 As if. 90 00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:34,830 Private club, very swanky, impossible to get in. 91 00:07:35,414 --> 00:07:38,166 Yeah, I heard they once turned away Cher. 92 00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:41,295 Would you believe They did such a thing? 93 00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:42,880 Well… 94 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:48,010 Why don't we just head over there and see what happens? 95 00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:51,054 I think there's a dress code. 96 00:08:00,856 --> 00:08:02,566 Mae, I love you! 97 00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:18,207 Taxi! 98 00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:27,925 - Welcome back, darling. - Thank you. 99 00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:31,845 Good evening. 100 00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:34,681 Do we know each other? 101 00:08:34,765 --> 00:08:38,059 I don't think we do, sir. May I see your membership card? 102 00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:41,313 University of Barcelona, class of 2004? 103 00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:43,774 I went to Warwick, 2007. 104 00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:45,817 Sorry, you looked older. 105 00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:47,528 Are you a member here? 106 00:08:47,611 --> 00:08:49,947 Here? No. God, no. Never. 107 00:08:50,739 --> 00:08:54,618 Well, if you're not a member, I'm afraid you can't come in. 108 00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,495 This is Bones & Honey. 109 00:08:57,621 --> 00:08:58,747 You are very rude. 110 00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:01,124 What is your name? 111 00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:04,294 My name is Sarah Coombes. What is your name? 112 00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:07,256 None of my business. 113 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,561 Bones & Honey, may I help you? 114 00:09:21,645 --> 00:09:22,855 Do you mind? 115 00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:25,607 Speak. 116 00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:27,818 Hello, this is the fire brigade. 117 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:31,613 It's very important that we get in touch with— 118 00:09:31,697 --> 00:09:33,866 - Sarah Coombes. - Sarah Coombes. 119 00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:35,701 That's you. 120 00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:38,620 Well, I'm very sorry, madam, but your flat is on fire. 121 00:09:38,704 --> 00:09:40,873 You need to come down here immediately. 122 00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,376 - Now what? - Act cool. 123 00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:48,839 Orion's Belt! 124 00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:52,676 Amazing. 125 00:09:54,428 --> 00:09:56,597 We're walking. We're walking. 126 00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:01,435 You did it. 127 00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,979 You did what Cher couldn't do. 128 00:10:05,147 --> 00:10:07,065 I actually feel bad for Sarah Coombes. 129 00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:08,942 Nah. Think how excited she'll be 130 00:10:09,026 --> 00:10:11,945 when she realizes that her place didn't actually burn down. 131 00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:14,740 Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of Sarah Coombes's life. 132 00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:17,367 Her apartment will look more amazing to her 133 00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:19,536 than any place any of us have ever lived. 134 00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:22,414 Here we go. 135 00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:27,336 Okay, gentlemen, plan of attack. 136 00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:32,007 What's wrong? 137 00:10:35,469 --> 00:10:37,012 I don't think we belong here. 138 00:10:37,721 --> 00:10:39,264 Knock that shit off. 139 00:10:39,932 --> 00:10:40,933 We belong. 140 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:44,061 If you could be anywhere, where would you wanna be? 141 00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:45,812 Here, right? 142 00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:48,482 Then act like it. 143 00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:52,277 Now who wants an overpriced beer? 144 00:10:54,530 --> 00:10:56,490 Who wants an overpriced beer that I'm paying for? 145 00:10:58,575 --> 00:10:59,868 Find us a spot. 146 00:10:59,952 --> 00:11:02,663 And feel free to strut. 147 00:11:28,063 --> 00:11:29,273 What can I get you, sir? 148 00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:33,151 - Four beers, please. - Would you like them in glass, sir? 149 00:11:33,235 --> 00:11:34,528 No. 150 00:11:49,001 --> 00:11:51,587 Relax, fella. It's just angles. 151 00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:53,839 Maybe if you'd paid attention in trig, you'd do better. 152 00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:58,802 Shall we have a friendly wager on this shot? 153 00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:00,888 Say, 20 quid? 154 00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:01,972 Hold on. 155 00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:03,932 What's trig? 156 00:12:07,144 --> 00:12:08,228 Trigonometry. 157 00:12:08,312 --> 00:12:09,938 Maths. Yeah? 158 00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:11,732 - Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah. 159 00:12:11,815 --> 00:12:13,817 Sorry, but where did you guys study? 160 00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:18,197 There you are, lads. Ha. Thought I'd lost you. 161 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:21,241 Then where would I be? Sad and alone. 162 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,160 Evening, gents. 163 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,329 I see you've met my protégés. 164 00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:27,539 I'm Professor Declan Patrick Aloysius MacManus. 165 00:12:27,623 --> 00:12:29,875 At your service. I assure you, the pleasure is mine. 166 00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:35,339 But, I must tell you, these lads here were the best of the best at Oxford itself. 167 00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:39,468 And now, we're just having a wee liquid reunion, aren't we? 168 00:12:40,511 --> 00:12:42,804 - Oxford? - Yeah, what were you professor of? 169 00:12:42,888 --> 00:12:45,349 Economics and management, till I retired. 170 00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:47,226 At Oxford. 171 00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:48,810 That is correct. 172 00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:50,687 We were at Oxford. 173 00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:53,732 Christ Church. 174 00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:56,527 Which college were you? 175 00:12:58,737 --> 00:12:59,863 Christ Church? 176 00:13:01,073 --> 00:13:02,241 Our main rivals. 177 00:13:03,492 --> 00:13:05,285 I'm a Merton man, myself. 178 00:13:05,369 --> 00:13:06,995 Merton. 179 00:13:08,497 --> 00:13:09,706 Where'd you live? 180 00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:11,750 Right across from the chapel. 181 00:13:12,543 --> 00:13:15,963 Nothing like waking up every morning to the sound of the Dobson Organ at 8:15, 182 00:13:16,046 --> 00:13:17,214 am I right? 183 00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:23,220 You Merton motherfucker. 184 00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:28,684 How are you, sir? When did you leave? 185 00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:31,436 2015. The year we beat Cambridge in the boat race 186 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,939 by six and a half lengths, lest we forget. 187 00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:36,525 I was on that crew. I was the cox. 188 00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:38,652 Yes, you were, you bastard. 189 00:13:40,779 --> 00:13:43,740 Harry Gill is here! Harry Gill, in this pub! 190 00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:45,200 Hey! 191 00:13:46,076 --> 00:13:47,578 Marvelous. Marvelous. 192 00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:49,997 Professor McGonagall taught us a lot. 193 00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:53,750 But the main thing he taught us was the value of money. 194 00:13:54,793 --> 00:13:56,795 £20. You're on. 195 00:14:03,135 --> 00:14:04,928 I got it. I got it. 196 00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:06,263 I've got five. 197 00:14:07,973 --> 00:14:08,974 Save one for a kebab. 198 00:14:10,184 --> 00:14:11,768 Eccentric geniuses. 199 00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:12,978 Right. 200 00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:17,774 17, 18, 19, 20. 201 00:14:17,858 --> 00:14:19,526 How's that for trigonometry? 202 00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:22,279 We got there. 203 00:14:37,169 --> 00:14:38,170 Yes! 204 00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:43,091 - Fair play! - Good on you. 205 00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:46,178 Next round is on us. 206 00:14:46,261 --> 00:14:47,471 Anything you like. 207 00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:50,057 - Three big boots of ale? - This guy. 208 00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:56,146 Oi. How'd you know all that stuff about Oxford? 209 00:14:57,314 --> 00:15:00,526 I dated a professor at Oxford. And I listen more than I talk. 210 00:15:03,195 --> 00:15:04,530 I'll be right back. 211 00:15:06,365 --> 00:15:07,783 Oi. 212 00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:09,826 What a legend you are! 213 00:15:57,666 --> 00:15:59,585 Hard to forget a game like that. 214 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:03,505 You know what will help? Going to see the woman you love. 215 00:16:04,548 --> 00:16:06,216 Exactly. But it's clear to me 216 00:16:06,300 --> 00:16:09,011 that Coach Beard doesn't think he's worthy of Jane. 217 00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:10,345 I know. 218 00:16:10,429 --> 00:16:14,850 Beard's self-esteem is so low, he will need a pep talk to kill himself, 219 00:16:14,933 --> 00:16:17,686 and I would like to give that pep talk. 220 00:16:17,769 --> 00:16:19,271 Shut up, Thierry Henry. 221 00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:24,067 Goddamn fucking shit! 222 00:16:25,903 --> 00:16:27,070 Is there a problem here? 223 00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:30,282 Yeah. This nail on your faux Persian flea market coffee table 224 00:16:30,365 --> 00:16:31,491 just tore my pants. 225 00:16:31,575 --> 00:16:33,660 Sir, can I see your membership card, please? 226 00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:39,833 My friends are in there. 227 00:16:42,336 --> 00:16:43,337 Goddamn it. 228 00:16:45,589 --> 00:16:48,175 I'm sure you know that your trousers are ripped. 229 00:16:51,887 --> 00:16:53,347 They're designed that way. 230 00:16:54,598 --> 00:16:56,600 To make it easier for people to kiss my ass. 231 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:01,438 Be careful. We have decency laws in England. 232 00:17:01,522 --> 00:17:02,648 You'll get arrested. 233 00:17:02,731 --> 00:17:05,108 I wasn't aware the laws were so restrictive here. 234 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:08,487 Oh, yeah. We're a repressed nation. 235 00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:12,657 One exposed arse can bring down the monarchy itself. 236 00:17:13,742 --> 00:17:15,868 How dare you speak of Prince Andrew that way. 237 00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:18,204 I could fix those for you. 238 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:21,208 I live over there. 239 00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:23,836 In that pointy building? 240 00:17:24,795 --> 00:17:25,796 No. 241 00:17:49,361 --> 00:17:50,571 Take your trousers off. 242 00:17:51,989 --> 00:17:53,198 You're not in charge of me. 243 00:18:01,164 --> 00:18:03,333 I'll give you something to wear in the meantime. 244 00:18:13,802 --> 00:18:15,679 People come and go from my life. 245 00:18:16,513 --> 00:18:18,807 I've always kept a pair of their trousers. 246 00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:22,769 This rack is like my memoirs. 247 00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:26,523 These should fit. 248 00:18:27,733 --> 00:18:29,067 Whose were these? 249 00:18:29,151 --> 00:18:30,402 An old lover. 250 00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:31,695 Where's he now? 251 00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:32,821 Dead. 252 00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:36,575 You dropped your keys. 253 00:18:43,207 --> 00:18:46,168 You ever look back on a relationship and regret it had ended? 254 00:18:47,336 --> 00:18:48,420 Been doing it all day. 255 00:18:49,421 --> 00:18:51,715 I've loved every man in my life, 256 00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:55,010 but I don't think I regret a single one of those relationships ending. 257 00:18:55,761 --> 00:18:59,056 In all my happiest memories, I'm single. 258 00:19:01,767 --> 00:19:02,893 That troubles me. 259 00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:12,027 Have you ever been in love? 260 00:19:15,489 --> 00:19:17,783 I mean, there's someone in my life now who… 261 00:19:20,118 --> 00:19:22,871 maybe it's chemicals or maybe it's pheromones, but… 262 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:29,795 I wanna be with her all the time. 263 00:19:31,463 --> 00:19:33,632 Is that love, or do I just have a problem? 264 00:19:33,715 --> 00:19:35,133 Why can't it be both? 265 00:19:39,805 --> 00:19:40,889 Could you get that? 266 00:19:44,893 --> 00:19:46,144 It says, "Do not answer." 267 00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:48,438 It's a joke. 268 00:19:51,692 --> 00:19:54,194 Oi, babe, I'm here, but I forgot my keys. 269 00:19:55,946 --> 00:19:57,364 Who the fuck are you? 270 00:19:57,447 --> 00:19:58,490 I'm Beard. 271 00:19:59,283 --> 00:20:01,618 He's just a trouserless man I met at Bones & Honey. 272 00:20:01,702 --> 00:20:02,953 What the fuck? 273 00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:05,205 Oi, shithead! 274 00:20:05,289 --> 00:20:08,625 I'm gonna punch your fucking teeth out your face 275 00:20:08,709 --> 00:20:11,503 and feed 'em to your arsehole like they're candy. 276 00:20:12,296 --> 00:20:13,297 Oh, shit. 277 00:20:14,464 --> 00:20:16,258 - You could've warned me. - Don't mind him. 278 00:20:16,341 --> 00:20:17,759 He's just a little jealous. 279 00:20:19,178 --> 00:20:22,097 Open the fucking door. You're a dead man. 280 00:20:23,724 --> 00:20:24,975 Run. 281 00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:31,815 Where the fuck is he? 282 00:20:57,841 --> 00:20:59,134 Nowhere to go. 283 00:21:45,639 --> 00:21:46,765 Oi! 284 00:22:09,371 --> 00:22:10,622 Still got it! 285 00:22:25,345 --> 00:22:27,514 Oi, he hasn't tapped in. 286 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:32,436 We're not going anywhere until you tap in. 287 00:22:33,228 --> 00:22:35,939 Of course, of course, of course. My pleasure. 288 00:22:48,368 --> 00:22:49,661 Excuse me, madam. 289 00:22:52,873 --> 00:22:55,250 Piss off, you fucking scrounger. 290 00:23:17,314 --> 00:23:18,315 Good evening, sir. 291 00:23:20,025 --> 00:23:21,360 Are you staying with us tonight? 292 00:23:21,443 --> 00:23:23,654 No. No, I am not. 293 00:23:23,737 --> 00:23:25,113 Well. Have a good evening. 294 00:23:26,615 --> 00:23:28,450 Could I please use the phone? 295 00:23:29,826 --> 00:23:32,287 The hotel phones are just for guests, I'm afraid, sir. 296 00:23:34,581 --> 00:23:35,582 Okay then. 297 00:23:36,333 --> 00:23:39,378 - Could I please use your phone? - My personal phone? 298 00:23:39,461 --> 00:23:42,464 Yes, I lost my phone and my wallet, and I'm just trying to get back home. 299 00:23:42,548 --> 00:23:44,550 And what would you be using my personal phone for, sir? 300 00:23:45,717 --> 00:23:46,718 Booking a cab. 301 00:23:46,802 --> 00:23:49,054 Nope. I'm not falling for that. 302 00:23:49,137 --> 00:23:50,681 I'm not trying to trick you. 303 00:23:50,764 --> 00:23:52,558 Exactly what a trickster would say. 304 00:23:54,434 --> 00:23:56,353 I would just go through my own account, you know. 305 00:23:56,436 --> 00:23:59,273 That's how it starts, isn't it? First you book a cab. 306 00:23:59,356 --> 00:24:01,733 Next thing I know, you've geolinked my phone to your network 307 00:24:01,817 --> 00:24:05,362 and all of a sudden, you and fake Melania have downloaded all my bank details 308 00:24:05,445 --> 00:24:07,197 and you're using my identity to shift 309 00:24:07,281 --> 00:24:09,199 more poppy seeds to your own private island. 310 00:24:09,283 --> 00:24:11,201 No. Not tonight. 311 00:24:11,285 --> 00:24:13,453 I've been in this game too long now. 312 00:24:13,537 --> 00:24:15,998 - What game? - You won't touch my phone. 313 00:24:16,081 --> 00:24:18,041 Within seconds, you'll have my mother's maiden name, 314 00:24:18,125 --> 00:24:19,334 all my cryptocurrencies. 315 00:24:19,418 --> 00:24:20,836 Not that I have any. 316 00:24:21,461 --> 00:24:24,047 Next thing I know, my hard drive is being confiscated by MI5 317 00:24:24,131 --> 00:24:26,675 for illegal images that you've tricked me into downloading. 318 00:24:26,758 --> 00:24:29,094 Oh, no. You'll not make a fool of me. 319 00:24:29,178 --> 00:24:31,930 Not you. Not a dead ringer for Dame Judi Dench. 320 00:24:32,014 --> 00:24:34,683 Not anyone. Shame on you, sir! Good night. 321 00:25:01,752 --> 00:25:03,045 Hello. 322 00:25:07,382 --> 00:25:09,301 Hey, I'm sorry to bother you guys. 323 00:25:10,886 --> 00:25:12,930 Just trying to get home and I lost my phone. 324 00:25:14,097 --> 00:25:16,308 You guys are about to save my life. 325 00:25:20,187 --> 00:25:21,522 Ah, shit. 326 00:25:23,106 --> 00:25:24,691 Well, look who it isn't. 327 00:25:24,775 --> 00:25:26,902 Good to see you again, Mr. Tartt. 328 00:25:27,528 --> 00:25:30,364 Sorry about before. Why don't I let you get back to what you were doing— 329 00:25:30,989 --> 00:25:32,533 It's okay. There's no rush. 330 00:25:35,369 --> 00:25:36,370 I tell you what, lads. 331 00:25:36,453 --> 00:25:41,083 Why don't we teach Coach here, in his magic trousers… 332 00:25:42,668 --> 00:25:44,753 exactly what football's all about. 333 00:25:45,629 --> 00:25:47,297 Because it doesn't happen on the pitch. 334 00:25:47,381 --> 00:25:48,674 No. 335 00:25:49,716 --> 00:25:51,051 It happens on the street. 336 00:25:52,928 --> 00:25:53,929 You get me? 337 00:25:55,138 --> 00:25:56,473 Or… 338 00:25:57,474 --> 00:25:58,475 Get him! 339 00:26:00,561 --> 00:26:01,812 Come on! 340 00:26:17,286 --> 00:26:19,663 Well, it looks like Beard's done for, doesn't it? 341 00:26:19,746 --> 00:26:23,500 Gary, part of me thinks Beard really wanted to get beat up tonight. 342 00:26:23,584 --> 00:26:25,085 Absolutely, Thierry. 343 00:26:25,169 --> 00:26:26,879 Clearly he'd rather punish himself 344 00:26:26,962 --> 00:26:29,965 than accept the love and support of the people around him. 345 00:26:30,048 --> 00:26:33,510 I'm beginning to think Coach Beard hates himself. 346 00:26:33,594 --> 00:26:35,053 Shut up, Thierry Henry. 347 00:26:38,473 --> 00:26:39,725 Yeah! 348 00:26:45,272 --> 00:26:46,231 Huh, mate? 349 00:26:48,609 --> 00:26:51,195 - Punch him again. - Prick! 350 00:26:54,364 --> 00:26:55,866 You're nothing! 351 00:27:13,967 --> 00:27:14,885 Gotcha! 352 00:27:17,429 --> 00:27:18,680 Stay down! 353 00:27:23,810 --> 00:27:25,020 Oh, shit. 354 00:27:28,315 --> 00:27:29,733 Oh, shit. 355 00:27:30,526 --> 00:27:32,569 - I told you to stay— - Fellas! 356 00:27:34,154 --> 00:27:35,531 How about we call this a draw? 357 00:27:43,956 --> 00:27:45,457 You had to push it, didn't ya? 358 00:27:46,917 --> 00:27:48,460 Say good night, son. 359 00:28:08,689 --> 00:28:10,607 Ah, man. Come on. 360 00:28:10,691 --> 00:28:13,026 Nothing happened. She was just gonna fix my pants. 361 00:28:13,110 --> 00:28:15,863 No, no. No, no, no, no, no. 362 00:28:18,031 --> 00:28:19,867 You left these at our flat. 363 00:28:22,202 --> 00:28:23,787 Been trying to find ya. 364 00:28:30,085 --> 00:28:31,378 Well, that's nice. 365 00:28:34,423 --> 00:28:36,758 No, I'm sorry I lost my temper. 366 00:28:36,842 --> 00:28:38,385 Mary explained what happened. 367 00:28:39,303 --> 00:28:41,680 The truth is we're having a baby. 368 00:28:42,598 --> 00:28:46,268 And it's made me realize how precious she is to me, 369 00:28:46,351 --> 00:28:50,731 and the thought that she was cheating on me was just too much. 370 00:28:50,814 --> 00:28:51,815 Uh-huh. 371 00:28:51,899 --> 00:28:53,483 But I also realize that 372 00:28:53,567 --> 00:28:56,695 maybe I'm more paranoid than most when it comes to that. 373 00:28:56,778 --> 00:28:58,572 'Cause I used to cheat in the past. 374 00:28:59,239 --> 00:29:01,283 But I've really worked on it. 375 00:29:01,366 --> 00:29:03,869 - I'm in a really good place now. - That's great. 376 00:29:03,952 --> 00:29:04,953 Yeah, cheers. 377 00:29:05,037 --> 00:29:08,582 Anyway, I just wanted to give you your stuff back. 378 00:29:09,750 --> 00:29:12,002 Mary says she's keeping your trousers though. 379 00:29:12,669 --> 00:29:14,796 It's kind of her thing. 380 00:29:15,464 --> 00:29:16,882 She said you can keep those. 381 00:29:18,133 --> 00:29:20,260 - Thank you. - Well, they look good on you. 382 00:29:21,220 --> 00:29:22,387 I know. 383 00:29:22,971 --> 00:29:25,265 Sorry about the shit game today. 384 00:29:26,183 --> 00:29:30,604 And I'm not even a Richmond fan, but, mamma mia, that was tough to watch. 385 00:29:37,569 --> 00:29:38,779 I think you dropped those. 386 00:29:41,156 --> 00:29:42,157 All right. 387 00:29:44,868 --> 00:29:46,119 You be lucky, yeah? 388 00:29:47,371 --> 00:29:48,664 I'm trying. 389 00:29:55,921 --> 00:30:00,384 Oh, no. No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. 390 00:30:01,218 --> 00:30:03,428 Oh, no. No, no, no. 391 00:30:08,559 --> 00:30:10,060 I love you too. I love you too! 392 00:30:11,061 --> 00:30:15,816 No, no, no, no, no, no, no! No! No! No! 393 00:30:54,521 --> 00:30:56,607 Oi, samurai! 394 00:30:56,690 --> 00:31:00,777 We got a limo We got a limo 395 00:31:01,445 --> 00:31:03,363 - Get in! Come on! - Look, we got a limo! 396 00:31:04,740 --> 00:31:06,575 They were really nice guys in the end. 397 00:31:06,658 --> 00:31:08,202 And so bad at pool. 398 00:31:08,285 --> 00:31:09,703 We told them who we really were, 399 00:31:09,786 --> 00:31:12,539 and they still invited us to their country estate for Easter. 400 00:31:12,623 --> 00:31:14,416 I don't know what I'm gonna wear. 401 00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:19,171 We made so much money off them, we treated ourself to a limo! 402 00:31:19,838 --> 00:31:21,965 - Where to, sir? - Anywhere you want. 403 00:31:22,049 --> 00:31:23,926 This night will never end. 404 00:31:24,009 --> 00:31:25,385 Home, please. 405 00:31:32,601 --> 00:31:34,186 Thanks for a wicked night. 406 00:31:34,978 --> 00:31:36,730 You're gonna go to this address 407 00:31:37,272 --> 00:31:40,484 and you're gonna tell Renee that Beard said it was okay. 408 00:31:42,361 --> 00:31:43,362 Thanks, guys. 409 00:31:45,155 --> 00:31:49,284 Just one Cornetto 410 00:31:49,368 --> 00:31:51,995 Give it to me 411 00:31:52,079 --> 00:31:55,499 Delicious ice cream 412 00:31:55,582 --> 00:31:59,044 Of Italy 413 00:32:17,938 --> 00:32:18,939 No. 414 00:32:21,233 --> 00:32:22,234 No. 415 00:32:26,446 --> 00:32:29,825 No! 416 00:33:48,570 --> 00:33:49,863 Are you there, God? 417 00:33:50,531 --> 00:33:52,366 It's me, Margaret's little boy. 418 00:33:54,243 --> 00:33:57,454 Longtime listener, first-time caller. And I know you're probably busy, 419 00:33:57,538 --> 00:34:01,416 'cause you got bigger fish to multiply and then fry. 420 00:34:02,793 --> 00:34:05,295 As you do. But there's this girl. 421 00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:10,884 There's this woman, Jane. 422 00:34:12,010 --> 00:34:14,763 Last name Payne. P-A-Y-N-E. 423 00:34:14,847 --> 00:34:17,349 But you probably know that, but if you wanted to look her up. 424 00:34:20,226 --> 00:34:22,980 And I care for her, deeply. 425 00:34:24,565 --> 00:34:27,067 I could've been with her tonight, but I ended up with you. 426 00:34:32,531 --> 00:34:35,449 And I am under no illusions that she could solve what ails me. 427 00:34:37,619 --> 00:34:39,871 But when I'm with her, the world just feels… 428 00:34:42,123 --> 00:34:43,625 more interesting. 429 00:35:11,069 --> 00:35:12,362 What is this place? 430 00:35:15,073 --> 00:35:17,159 Here. 2-3-7. 431 00:35:21,288 --> 00:35:22,623 - Well, knock then. - Why don't you knock? 432 00:35:22,706 --> 00:35:23,707 Just knock. 433 00:35:27,419 --> 00:35:28,420 What? 434 00:35:28,921 --> 00:35:30,172 Are you Renee? 435 00:35:30,255 --> 00:35:31,423 Who's asking? 436 00:35:32,925 --> 00:35:34,176 Coach Beard sent us. 437 00:35:42,142 --> 00:35:43,393 Turn 'em on. 438 00:35:45,604 --> 00:35:47,022 Walk this way. 439 00:35:47,481 --> 00:35:48,690 Go on. 440 00:35:51,735 --> 00:35:52,736 Come on. 441 00:35:53,237 --> 00:35:54,238 Come on. 442 00:36:13,382 --> 00:36:14,424 Oh, my God. 443 00:36:14,508 --> 00:36:15,759 It's beautiful. 444 00:36:15,843 --> 00:36:17,052 Is that heaven? 445 00:36:18,220 --> 00:36:20,848 No. That's Nelson Road. 446 00:36:31,233 --> 00:36:33,402 Wave to the crowd! Wave to the crowd! 447 00:37:03,599 --> 00:37:05,058 Yeah! 448 00:37:12,107 --> 00:37:13,275 Fuck yes! 449 00:38:41,738 --> 00:38:42,865 Try this on. 450 00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:39,296 - They do food here? - For me, yeah. 451 00:40:41,775 --> 00:40:44,778 - Where the fuck is he? - If Beard's not coming, I'll get coffees. 452 00:40:44,862 --> 00:40:47,072 Wait. Now, hold on a second. He'll be here. 453 00:40:47,155 --> 00:40:48,699 Beard's like the mailman, you know? 454 00:40:48,782 --> 00:40:50,826 He always delivers and he looks great in shorts. 455 00:40:52,661 --> 00:40:53,829 Morning, fellas. 456 00:40:53,912 --> 00:40:56,206 - What'd I tell you? - Here you go. 457 00:40:58,041 --> 00:41:00,043 Flat white. Coffee, black. Peppermint latte. 458 00:41:01,003 --> 00:41:02,004 Cheers. 459 00:41:03,338 --> 00:41:04,339 Thank you, Coach. 460 00:41:05,382 --> 00:41:06,466 You… 461 00:41:08,552 --> 00:41:10,387 Everything all right, you know? 462 00:41:10,470 --> 00:41:14,641 Yeah. Just slept too late. Must've fell off the bed. 463 00:41:14,725 --> 00:41:16,977 Oh, right. Yeah, no. That's a thing. 464 00:41:17,060 --> 00:41:19,062 Okay, who's ready to watch yesterday's match? 465 00:41:19,146 --> 00:41:21,523 - No. No. - I've actually watched it plenty. 466 00:41:21,607 --> 00:41:24,818 - Don't think we should. We don't need to. - Hey, now, look. I know, I know, I know. 467 00:41:24,902 --> 00:41:27,821 - But this is how we get better, all right? - Fine. 468 00:41:27,905 --> 00:41:32,576 'Cause sometimes, every once in a blue moon, there is a game so awful, so… 469 00:41:33,285 --> 00:41:34,745 Dog shit? 470 00:41:34,828 --> 00:41:35,954 Haunting? 471 00:41:36,038 --> 00:41:38,540 A catastrophe of epic proportions. 472 00:41:38,624 --> 00:41:42,002 That the only way to watch it back is at ten times the speed 473 00:41:42,085 --> 00:41:45,214 and with the Benny Hill theme music playing under it. Here we go. 474 00:41:50,552 --> 00:41:51,762 Fucking hell. 475 00:41:59,978 --> 00:42:01,605 Fucking hell. 476 00:42:09,905 --> 00:42:10,906 Okay.