1 00:00:02,628 --> 00:00:04,546 Welcome to London Heathrow. 2 00:00:04,630 --> 00:00:07,925 For your security, do not leave any personal items unattended. 3 00:00:08,007 --> 00:00:12,930 This is the final boarding call for flight 822 to Kansas City. 4 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:16,225 Final boarding for flight 822. 5 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,237 Paging passenger Lasso. 6 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:29,905 Report to the ticket desk. 7 00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:33,700 Paging passenger Lasso. Please report to the ticket desk. 8 00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,411 Buddy, we gotta roll. Come on. Let's go. 9 00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:38,497 Your mom sent you a text. 10 00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:40,499 Come on, go. 11 00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:43,836 - Henry Lasso. Passenger Henry Lasso. - Hey, we're here. We're here. 12 00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:45,295 Sorry about that. 13 00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:46,547 We got distracted. 14 00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:49,341 Little guy was trying to unlock Princess Peach on Super Smash Bros. 15 00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:50,801 Totally understand. 16 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,636 I once held an entire flight to Sydney hostage 17 00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:54,847 until I finished the final level of Breath of the Wild. 18 00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:57,808 Feels like a potentially troublesome sentence to say in this setting, 19 00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,101 but, hey, I appreciate you. 20 00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:02,980 Hello, Henry. It's nice to see you again. Are you excited to head back home? 21 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,857 To all my toys? Yes. 22 00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:07,651 To my country's political landscape? Not so much. 23 00:01:08,861 --> 00:01:11,113 Yeah. Well, I have a tendency to doze off with CNN on. 24 00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:14,366 All right, big guy. Let's get you all set up here. 25 00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:16,994 iPad's all loaded up with a bunch of movies, 26 00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:19,413 so no need to watch your neighbor's screen, okay? 27 00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:22,499 Less movies about clowns in sewers, the better, right? 28 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:23,834 Amen, Big Ben. 29 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:24,820 Oh, here. 30 00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:27,087 - Dad, I made you something. - What you got? 31 00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:29,882 Hey. 32 00:01:29,965 --> 00:01:32,342 A little tiny Premier League trophy? All right! 33 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,511 I can't wait to drink champagne out of this sucker, you know? 34 00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:38,557 I mean, it's just to have until you win the real one. 35 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,100 Well, hey. You never know, right? 36 00:01:40,184 --> 00:01:42,394 I'm sorry, Mr. Lasso, but we are pressed for time. 37 00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:44,188 Of course. Of course. Okay. 38 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,357 Six weeks goes by real quick when you're having fun, don't it? 39 00:01:48,483 --> 00:01:49,902 Hey, do me a favor. When you get home, 40 00:01:49,985 --> 00:01:52,821 will you give your mom a big squeeze from me to let her know I love her? Yeah? 41 00:01:52,905 --> 00:01:54,907 But until then, here, you bring it in. Come on. 42 00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:57,409 All right. 43 00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:01,830 Okay. Okay. Hey. I love you, buddy. 44 00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:03,123 I love you too, Dad. 45 00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:06,793 Yeah. All right. Okay. Get out of here. 46 00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:07,878 Come on. 47 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:12,341 Passengers on Flight 2492 with service to JFK airport, 48 00:02:12,424 --> 00:02:13,884 we are now boarding. 49 00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:29,024 Flight to Amsterdam has been delayed and will now be departing from Gate 17. 50 00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:31,443 We apologize for any inconvenience. 51 00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:39,243 - Good morning, Ted. - Hey, Doc. 52 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:43,747 - How're you feeling? - Yeah, no. I'm fine. Yeah. 53 00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:50,963 So, how did the drop-off go? 54 00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:52,130 For me or for him? 55 00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:54,091 'Cause I think those are two very different answers. 56 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:56,885 But no, I'm fine, I think. I don't know. 57 00:02:56,969 --> 00:02:59,304 I just feel kinda guilty about the little guy 58 00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:01,306 flying all by himself again, you know? 59 00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:04,685 I understand, Ted. But children are resilient. 60 00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:08,146 And a sense of autonomy at Henry's age is good for him. 61 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,482 No, I know. That's true. 62 00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:14,194 I remember being left at school when I was Henry's age. 63 00:03:14,278 --> 00:03:16,780 I ended up helping our custodian, Mr. Maher, clean half the school 64 00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:18,824 until my dad remembered to come pick me up. 65 00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:21,660 He gave Mr. Maher cash for babysitting me. 66 00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,120 I showed up to school the next day 67 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:26,164 and Mr. Maher gave me the money as payment for the work I'd done. 68 00:03:26,248 --> 00:03:28,709 So then I used that money to buy him a thank-you gift, 69 00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,419 but never got the chance to give it to him, 70 00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:32,671 'cause, well, he ended up getting hit by a train. 71 00:03:33,297 --> 00:03:35,048 Wow. I didn't see that coming. 72 00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:37,009 Yeah, well, neither did Mr. Maher. 73 00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:39,970 How are things at work? 74 00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:42,055 Are you feeling good about the upcoming season? 75 00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:43,307 Yeah. Sure. 76 00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:46,643 Well, I guess I do sometimes wonder what the heck I'm still doing here. 77 00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:50,105 I mean, I know why I came, 78 00:03:50,189 --> 00:03:52,733 but it's the sticking around I can't quite figure out. 79 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:56,570 - You don't quit things, Ted. - Right. Right. Yeah. 80 00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:57,863 But, hey, maybe my being here 81 00:03:57,946 --> 00:04:00,365 is doing more hurting than helping at this point, you know? 82 00:04:01,617 --> 00:04:05,287 Well, as the man once said, "Doubt can only be removed by action." 83 00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:07,789 - I like that. - I thought you would. 84 00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:10,667 - We only have a couple of minutes left. - Okay. 85 00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:13,295 Hey, you still cool with me asking you some personal questions? 86 00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:15,714 For now, yes. Go on. 87 00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:16,882 Hey! 88 00:04:16,964 --> 00:04:18,841 Holy smokes, I love that hat. 89 00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:21,386 I recognize you from that show Leaky Diapers, don't I? 90 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,473 - Okay, let's see. You dating anyone? - Pass. 91 00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:27,184 You usually say no to that one. 92 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,102 - What team you with right now? - Can't say. 93 00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:31,271 - Okay. All right. Well, what sport? - Can't say. 94 00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:33,190 Uh-huh. How many Australians you got on the team? 95 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:36,235 - Nine. - Rugby. What a game. 96 00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:39,446 It's like American football and sumo wrestling gave birth to a baby 97 00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:41,823 with huge muscular thighs all caked in mud. 98 00:04:41,907 --> 00:04:43,200 Okay, Ted. I need to go. 99 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,868 Okay. Talk to you later, Doc. 100 00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:46,787 - Goodbye, Ted. - All right now. 101 00:04:58,882 --> 00:04:59,967 You finally got off. 102 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:01,635 Not yet, I didn't. 103 00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:31,707 Bloody hell! 104 00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:35,669 All of them. All of them have us finishing last this season. 105 00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:36,879 It's really annoying, isn't it? 106 00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:40,007 Every newspaper, every television pundit, 107 00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:45,804 every lonely middle-aged sports-blogging loser writing in his mother's basement. 108 00:05:45,888 --> 00:05:48,932 You know, Rebecca, that stereotype really isn't true anymore. 109 00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:51,894 For example, our ten-year-old, Terry, started writing a sports blog 110 00:05:51,977 --> 00:05:54,813 in our kitchen, which we now call his home office. 111 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,356 For tax purposes. 112 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:59,776 Right, well, I apologize for the generalization. 113 00:06:00,903 --> 00:06:02,571 Where does your son have us finishing? 114 00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:06,617 - Hey, y'all. - Hey, Ted. 115 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:07,701 Good morning, Ted. 116 00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:10,662 No rhyming salutation. Something wrong? 117 00:06:10,746 --> 00:06:12,164 Way to notice, Amos Otis. 118 00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:14,499 Yeah. Henry went back to Kansas this morning. 119 00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:16,043 - Thank you. - Yep, yep. 120 00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:18,128 Dropped him off at the airport a little bit ago. 121 00:06:18,212 --> 00:06:20,756 Now he's up in a plane, 10,000 feet in the sky. 122 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,799 - I think they fly higher than that. - Definitely. 123 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:25,636 Yeah, well, I'm down here on Earth checking my phone every ten minutes, 124 00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:28,847 watching his plane get further and further away. Yeah. 125 00:06:28,931 --> 00:06:31,975 But, hey, I didn't mean to come in here and tinkle on y'all's toenails. 126 00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:33,519 What's the buzz? Tell me what's happening. 127 00:06:33,602 --> 00:06:36,230 Well, apparently, everyone alive has picked Richmond 128 00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:37,856 to finish in 20th place this season. 129 00:06:37,940 --> 00:06:39,650 Except the Daily Mirror, 130 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,568 which has us finishing "twentyelf." 131 00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:43,820 An adorable but devastating typo. 132 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:44,905 Okay. Well, you know what? 133 00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:47,157 I predict all their predictions ain't gonna come true. 134 00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:49,743 So, it looks like we got ourselves a prediction Mexican standoff. 135 00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:51,787 Or as they call them in Mexico, a prediction standoff. 136 00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:53,747 Well, the worst part is that 137 00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:55,958 they've picked Rupert to finish in the top four. 138 00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:57,292 Rupert's gonna play this year? 139 00:06:57,376 --> 00:06:58,627 What? No. 140 00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:00,045 So you mean West Ham? 141 00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:02,422 Precisely. Everyone thinks he's better than us. 142 00:07:02,506 --> 00:07:05,259 They. Everyone thinks they are better than us. 143 00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:06,844 Yes, that's what I said. They. 144 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:09,346 So, what's the plan? How are we gonna beat him? 145 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:10,806 - Them. - Exactly. 146 00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:11,974 Oh, boy. 147 00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:14,184 You know, this might be a good time 148 00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:17,771 for us to update our roster. Put some more firepower in the team. 149 00:07:17,855 --> 00:07:19,898 That is a great idea, Leslie. 150 00:07:19,982 --> 00:07:22,568 Let's put some feelers out, shall we? Ted? 151 00:07:22,651 --> 00:07:24,361 Well, I know Roy and Coach Beard 152 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,029 are working on some new tactics. 153 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,490 And, you know, the fellas we got are already gelling real nice. 154 00:07:28,574 --> 00:07:30,033 I think we're gonna do fine this season. 155 00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:32,536 Ted, this team doing "just fine" is a far cry 156 00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:34,454 from you telling me we're going to win the whole thing. 157 00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:36,415 Did I really say that? 158 00:07:36,498 --> 00:07:39,251 Yes, you did. Over there after the Man City loss. 159 00:07:39,334 --> 00:07:42,254 Just before you blasted half a liter of Pellegrino in my face. 160 00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:44,298 - Right. - Wait, what happened? 161 00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:47,593 That is the Ted Lasso I want coaching my team this season. 162 00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,344 The one who's willing to fight. 163 00:07:49,428 --> 00:07:50,804 - Understood? - Yes, ma'am. 164 00:07:50,888 --> 00:07:51,889 You watch, from now on, 165 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:54,141 I'll be floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee. 166 00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:56,185 Except I won't die immediately after using my stinger. 167 00:07:56,268 --> 00:07:58,562 I plan to float and sting for the entirety of the whole season. 168 00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:01,773 Excellent. Right, if you'll excuse me, 169 00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:05,736 I have a very important lunch meeting with one Ms. Keeley Jones 170 00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,779 for some much-needed girl talk. 171 00:08:07,863 --> 00:08:09,573 Hey, tell her we said howdy and… 172 00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:11,158 Yo. 173 00:08:11,909 --> 00:08:12,910 Okay. 174 00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:16,121 - You say "yo"? - Yeah, I know. It just popped out… 175 00:08:16,205 --> 00:08:17,456 No. I'm not judging. I loved it. 176 00:08:17,539 --> 00:08:18,790 - I wanna make sure I heard right. - Okay. Yeah. 177 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,668 - But I… But I feel like… - Yeah. 178 00:08:21,752 --> 00:08:23,128 That makes sense, right? I could put my… 179 00:08:23,212 --> 00:08:25,672 What? Another one? Dead last. 180 00:08:26,757 --> 00:08:28,550 Dead last? Who wrote that? 181 00:08:28,634 --> 00:08:30,052 Fucking everybody, bruv. 182 00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:32,929 Glenn Hoddle, Graeme Souness, Jermaine Jenas… 183 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:36,475 - Maybe they're trying to motivate us. - Yeah. Thank you very much, Dani. 184 00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:38,184 I had a woman accost me on the street, 185 00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:39,977 telling me I should fake an injury this season 186 00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:41,522 so I wouldn't have to deal with the misery. 187 00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:42,856 Did you tell her to piss off? 188 00:08:42,940 --> 00:08:44,274 No, she was a nun. 189 00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:46,944 Wait, a nun? 190 00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:49,404 They must get Sky Sports in the monasteries. 191 00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:51,823 Hey. Hey, hey, lads. Hey. 192 00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:53,867 We ain't gonna get relegated 'cause we're together. 193 00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:57,704 And together, we got me. 194 00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:00,582 Statistically speaking, 195 00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:03,252 most teams who get promoted are relegated the very next year. 196 00:09:03,335 --> 00:09:06,338 - Come on, Jan Maas! - Jan Maas! 197 00:09:06,421 --> 00:09:09,007 - That's what happens in the Pre… - Shut the fuck up, Jan Maas. 198 00:09:09,091 --> 00:09:11,802 It's the Premier League. It's just statistics, man. 199 00:09:12,845 --> 00:09:14,304 So I finally watched it. 200 00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:17,015 I liked it. 201 00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:18,767 Gene Hackman was good. 202 00:09:19,601 --> 00:09:21,270 The drunk geezer. 203 00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:22,354 Stuff with the team. 204 00:09:23,522 --> 00:09:24,648 I did have one question. 205 00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:25,941 Yeah, what's that? 206 00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:28,193 Why the fuck is it called Hoosiers? 207 00:09:29,319 --> 00:09:30,863 Hey, what's up, sweetie pie? 208 00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:32,990 What's the frequency, Roy Kenteth? 209 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,950 What you doing? Working on new trick plays or something? 210 00:09:35,033 --> 00:09:37,786 No tricks, just an old classic. Take it away, Coach. 211 00:09:37,870 --> 00:09:40,289 This is the best way for us to play this season. 212 00:09:40,372 --> 00:09:42,457 The 4-4-2, which is… 213 00:09:42,541 --> 00:09:44,918 Four defenders, four in the midfield, and two up front. 214 00:09:45,002 --> 00:09:45,904 Yeah, I got it. 215 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,129 God, I'm proud of you. 216 00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:49,548 Yeah. Henry and I played a whole bunch of FIFA while he was here. 217 00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:51,967 Very helpful. You know, we both learned who Maradona was, 218 00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:55,137 and I had to explain to my son why cocaine is actually bad for you. 219 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,220 Please, keep going. 220 00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:59,766 Right. These little pricks have played 4-4-2 ever since they were kids, 221 00:09:59,850 --> 00:10:02,269 which means they'll always know what they're supposed to do, 222 00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:04,605 and more importantly, where they're supposed to be 223 00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:07,357 at every fucking minute of every fucking game 224 00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:09,026 against every fucking opponent. 225 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:11,945 Yeesh. Who invented this thing, the Russians? 226 00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:13,238 Yeah. 227 00:10:13,322 --> 00:10:14,531 Okay. 228 00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:17,201 Well, hey, if you think it's a good idea, I think it's a great one. 229 00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:18,452 - Let's do it. - Okay. 230 00:10:19,161 --> 00:10:22,039 And look, I know I don't have Nate's fucking tactical super-brain, 231 00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:25,709 but I do know it's more important to be solid than clever 232 00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:26,793 when you're the underdogs. 233 00:10:26,877 --> 00:10:29,713 Yeah, the underdog. Right. No. Okay. I hear you, loud and clear. Yeah. 234 00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,882 Hey, Coach. How come you never hear of an "overdog"? 235 00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:37,304 In German, the "Überhund," but in English, we say "top dog." 236 00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:40,682 Or more specifically, West Ham. 237 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:07,042 Good morning, Coach Shelley. 238 00:11:34,069 --> 00:11:35,654 There he is. The Wonder Kid himself. 239 00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:36,737 Get out. 240 00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:51,587 I understand. 241 00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:53,964 I just don't think Ms. Welton will have a whole lot to say 242 00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:57,676 about the unfair advantage of being a female owner in sports. 243 00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:58,844 Thank you. 244 00:12:00,012 --> 00:12:01,305 Fuck you, Joe Rogan. 245 00:12:07,019 --> 00:12:08,005 Sorry, everyone. 246 00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:11,064 This is my friend, my former boss, 247 00:12:11,148 --> 00:12:14,443 my angel-mentor-guru, Rebecca. 248 00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:20,157 And, Rebecca, these are the poets and the geniuses behind KJPR. 249 00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:22,576 - Hello. - Hello. 250 00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:25,329 Why don't you step into my office? 251 00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:26,914 Yeah? Come on. Yeah. 252 00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,876 God, it's like a real office out there. 253 00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:33,754 People typing and being awkward and everything. 254 00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:35,506 It's so bananas, right? 255 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,550 And I found out why I got such a good deal on this place. 256 00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:41,261 I love a bit of corporate real estate scuttlebutt. 257 00:12:41,345 --> 00:12:42,331 That. Yeah. 258 00:12:42,346 --> 00:12:43,889 So, the previous tenants, 259 00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:46,433 they had to break the lease because the boss kept getting caught 260 00:12:46,517 --> 00:12:48,852 pinching his employees' butts all the time. 261 00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:52,231 Well, one man's grope is another woman's gain. 262 00:12:52,314 --> 00:12:55,359 It does explain why my office comes with fun features like this. 263 00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:56,443 Look. Watch. 264 00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:01,615 Yikes. But also quite cool. 265 00:13:05,202 --> 00:13:06,495 Hey, it's all right. 266 00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:07,996 Hey! 267 00:13:08,497 --> 00:13:11,208 Hey, you're all right. I'm here. Hey. 268 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:15,170 I'm so busy, I literally have to make time in my schedule 269 00:13:15,254 --> 00:13:17,673 to sit at my desk and cry. 270 00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:21,343 And now I've double-booked you. 271 00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:23,720 Come here! 272 00:13:28,392 --> 00:13:29,810 You know who else picked us to finish last? 273 00:13:29,893 --> 00:13:30,936 Please don't say Adele. 274 00:13:31,019 --> 00:13:32,062 Paddington Bear. 275 00:13:32,563 --> 00:13:34,731 - It was on his Twitter account. - Yeah, I saw that. 276 00:13:34,815 --> 00:13:37,776 On a scale of one marmalade sandwich to five marmalade sandwiches, 277 00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:39,152 we've got no marmalade sandwiches. 278 00:13:39,236 --> 00:13:42,322 Even that sweet little bear does not believe in us. 279 00:13:42,406 --> 00:13:44,533 I think it's probably other people writing for him. 280 00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:46,827 - Wait, what? - Yeah. 281 00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:49,913 What the heck is going on out here? 282 00:13:49,997 --> 00:13:53,000 These guys are more distracted than a bunch of cats playing laser tag. 283 00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:55,169 They heard all the pundits saying we suck. 284 00:13:55,252 --> 00:13:56,336 Fuck pundits. 285 00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:57,504 You were a pundit. 286 00:13:57,588 --> 00:14:01,633 Yeah. And all we did was talk shit and eat fucking meringues. 287 00:14:02,301 --> 00:14:04,928 Hey, Coach, I don't know about you, but kinda feels 288 00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:06,805 like it's getting a little stuffy in here, yeah? 289 00:14:06,889 --> 00:14:10,058 Like one of those days you wanna have class outside? 290 00:14:12,227 --> 00:14:14,563 What the fuck are you two talking about? We are outside. 291 00:14:16,481 --> 00:14:17,649 - Hey, Will. - Yeah? 292 00:14:17,733 --> 00:14:19,234 - Come here. - Yeah. 293 00:14:19,318 --> 00:14:20,861 Hey, is Kenneth around today? 294 00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:22,613 Yeah, no. Kenneth lives here. 295 00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:24,948 Yeah. No, he does work a lot, don't he? 296 00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:27,951 No, no, no. As in, he literally lives here at the facility. 297 00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:29,828 - He does? Since when? - He… 298 00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:31,955 Ever since his cult got shut down. 299 00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:33,624 Kenneth was in a cult? 300 00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:36,168 No, no, no, no, no. He was the leader of one. 301 00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:37,711 Wow. Okay. 302 00:14:38,212 --> 00:14:40,339 You mind asking him to bring the team bus around for me? 303 00:14:40,422 --> 00:14:41,882 - Yeah, yeah. - All right. Appreciate you. 304 00:14:44,301 --> 00:14:45,677 Shall we? 305 00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:47,888 Okay, fellas. 306 00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:50,974 This segment of today's training is now complete. 307 00:14:51,058 --> 00:14:53,685 I need everyone to go hop on the bus. 308 00:14:53,769 --> 00:14:55,312 We're taking practice on the road, 309 00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:58,607 and last one in the parking lot has to eat a little bug! 310 00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:00,567 Everyone run except Roy! Let's go! 311 00:15:02,152 --> 00:15:04,655 - Run, run, run! - Let's go, let's go! 312 00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:10,035 I feel so much better. 313 00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:13,622 Crying is the best, isn't it? It's like an orgasm for the soul. 314 00:15:15,165 --> 00:15:16,875 You know, in the last three years married to Rupert, 315 00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:19,503 I don't think I cried once about anything. 316 00:15:20,379 --> 00:15:22,422 Not even a John Lewis Christmas commercial. 317 00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:24,842 I'm really sorry again about your blouse. 318 00:15:24,925 --> 00:15:26,844 What are you talking about? It's barely noticeable. 319 00:15:29,513 --> 00:15:33,225 Oi, sucks butt that everyone's predicted Richmond to finish last. 320 00:15:33,308 --> 00:15:35,269 I mean, what filthy cocks. 321 00:15:35,352 --> 00:15:36,895 You're not worried about that though, right? 322 00:15:36,979 --> 00:15:38,272 No, not really. 323 00:15:39,398 --> 00:15:41,775 I'm a bit worried that Ted isn't worried enough. 324 00:15:41,859 --> 00:15:43,694 Yeah, but you gotta let Ted be Ted, right? 325 00:15:44,403 --> 00:15:46,196 Yes. I suppose so. 326 00:15:47,656 --> 00:15:52,202 No, I'm more bothered that Rupert must just be so happy right now. 327 00:15:52,286 --> 00:15:54,872 He's really gotten stuck in your head these days, huh? 328 00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:56,290 No! 329 00:15:56,373 --> 00:15:58,000 I mean, yes. 330 00:15:58,083 --> 00:16:00,961 But he's not stuck in the same way he used to be stuck. 331 00:16:01,044 --> 00:16:03,005 I mean, back then, 332 00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:07,384 I wanted to destroy everything that Rupert loved and owned and coveted. 333 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,219 You know, like Left Eye from TLC 334 00:16:09,303 --> 00:16:11,180 when she burned all her boyfriend's trainers in the bath 335 00:16:11,263 --> 00:16:12,723 and ended up burning down the entire house. 336 00:16:12,806 --> 00:16:14,975 - Ultimate gangster move. - Fucking legend. 337 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,686 And admittedly, that was me back then. 338 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:22,149 But the me now doesn't feel the need to destroy Rupert's life. 339 00:16:23,358 --> 00:16:25,110 No, the now me just wants to beat him. 340 00:16:25,611 --> 00:16:26,611 To win. 341 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,032 - That's growth, right? - Sure. 342 00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:33,410 But sometimes you've gotta let Rupert be Rupert too. 343 00:16:35,204 --> 00:16:37,539 Ms. Jones, we have a problem. 344 00:16:38,123 --> 00:16:39,958 Barbara, come on. It's Keeley. 345 00:16:40,042 --> 00:16:42,211 And I want you to meet my dear friend, Rebecca. 346 00:16:42,294 --> 00:16:43,962 She owns AFC Richmond. 347 00:16:44,046 --> 00:16:45,214 Yes, of course, Rebecca. 348 00:16:45,297 --> 00:16:46,840 - Very nice to meet you. - Hello, Barbara. 349 00:16:46,924 --> 00:16:48,050 Ms. Jones, 350 00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:53,764 I noticed a business expense for flowers recurring weekly. 351 00:16:54,765 --> 00:16:58,018 You want to spend L200 every week on flowers? 352 00:16:58,101 --> 00:16:59,101 Yeah. 353 00:16:59,144 --> 00:17:00,145 Why? 354 00:17:00,229 --> 00:17:02,564 So the office is cheerful and smells nice. 355 00:17:03,273 --> 00:17:06,609 Flowers are for two things, Ms. Jones. Dead people and dead marriages. 356 00:17:08,487 --> 00:17:10,948 - It was so nice to meet you. - It was nice to meet you. 357 00:17:13,575 --> 00:17:15,452 She seems fun. 358 00:17:15,536 --> 00:17:17,246 She's my CFO. 359 00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:20,332 The company that financed me placed her here. 360 00:17:20,415 --> 00:17:23,919 But she's my CFO, yet sometimes my CFO… 361 00:17:24,002 --> 00:17:25,587 Chief Financial Officer. 362 00:17:25,671 --> 00:17:27,297 Oh, my. I did not know that. 363 00:17:27,381 --> 00:17:30,300 I've been saying "corporate flying object" 'cause it's been making me laugh. 364 00:17:30,384 --> 00:17:31,718 Why didn't you just google it? 365 00:17:32,928 --> 00:17:34,179 Because I trust in the universe. 366 00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:37,349 Right. I have got to get going. 367 00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:40,394 Dinner this evening? 368 00:17:40,477 --> 00:17:42,938 - I can't. - No, no. I'm eating meat again. 369 00:17:43,021 --> 00:17:45,858 That's not it. But thank Christ. 370 00:17:45,941 --> 00:17:49,778 No, Roy and I are finally having the talk with Phoebe. 371 00:17:50,863 --> 00:17:53,073 I cannot cancel on him again, or he will kill me. 372 00:17:53,156 --> 00:17:55,909 Okay, well, call me later. 373 00:17:55,993 --> 00:17:57,119 And thank you for the advice. 374 00:17:57,703 --> 00:17:59,746 - Thank you for your bosom. - Anytime. 375 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:09,590 You. Come over here. Come over here. 376 00:18:09,673 --> 00:18:12,718 Come and stand on this line for me. This, over here. Yeah. 377 00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:15,137 This is a very important line. 378 00:18:15,971 --> 00:18:18,974 Everyone, this is the dumb-dumb line. 379 00:18:20,184 --> 00:18:21,602 This is where dumb-dumbs go. 380 00:18:22,686 --> 00:18:23,589 Stay. 381 00:18:23,604 --> 00:18:26,732 You, go in for the dumb-dumb. Try not to join him on the line. Go. 382 00:18:32,196 --> 00:18:33,363 Coach Shelley? 383 00:18:33,864 --> 00:18:34,766 Yes. Yes? 384 00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:36,700 Mr. Mannion would like to speak with you. 385 00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,118 Okay. Thank you very much. 386 00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:44,166 Now? 387 00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:46,460 Disco. 388 00:18:46,543 --> 00:18:47,446 Yeah. 389 00:18:47,461 --> 00:18:49,880 Take over here. Five more minutes of this, then run them till they drop. 390 00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:51,882 - Okay. - All right. Let's… 391 00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:54,259 Gosh. 392 00:18:55,844 --> 00:18:56,970 Okay. 393 00:18:57,054 --> 00:19:01,183 Just because my name is Disco doesn't mean we get to party, yeah? 394 00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:12,277 There he is. The Wonder Kid himself. 395 00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:14,446 Hello. How was your trip? 396 00:19:14,530 --> 00:19:16,281 Wonderful. Yeah. 397 00:19:16,365 --> 00:19:20,285 I was in St. Barts with dear friends, the Sacklers. 398 00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:24,456 We were legally required to stay 50 miles offshore, 399 00:19:24,540 --> 00:19:27,167 but what a beautiful boat. 400 00:19:27,251 --> 00:19:28,794 Well, sounds lovely. 401 00:19:29,545 --> 00:19:35,467 What's lovely are these delightful preseason prognostications. Yeah. 402 00:19:35,551 --> 00:19:36,802 Aren't they delish? 403 00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:38,929 Especially poor, old Richmond. 404 00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:43,934 Can you believe they're picked to finish 20th? 405 00:19:44,518 --> 00:19:46,937 Well, yeah, because there's no 21st. 406 00:19:50,941 --> 00:19:52,192 That's very good. 407 00:19:53,652 --> 00:19:56,905 I hope you've got more zingers like that in your back pocket for the presser today. 408 00:19:56,989 --> 00:19:58,532 I… Yeah, I might. 409 00:19:59,616 --> 00:20:03,328 You know, they didn't know what they had, letting you go. 410 00:20:04,288 --> 00:20:06,248 Nathan Shelley, you are a killer. 411 00:20:09,168 --> 00:20:10,627 Thank you, Mr. Mannion. 412 00:20:10,711 --> 00:20:12,963 No, please, Nathan. Call me Rupert. 413 00:20:15,007 --> 00:20:18,594 Mr. Mannion, the car is being removed from the lot as we speak. 414 00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:23,432 - Good. - Security thinks one of the new cleaners 415 00:20:23,515 --> 00:20:25,851 must have parked in the prestige lot by accident. 416 00:20:26,435 --> 00:20:27,436 Yes. 417 00:20:28,854 --> 00:20:31,231 And accidents have repercussions. 418 00:20:31,315 --> 00:20:33,650 I just want to just have a look. 419 00:20:34,568 --> 00:20:35,861 Yes, that's my car. 420 00:20:38,739 --> 00:20:40,866 - Sorry. - Is it really? 421 00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:43,285 No. Well, yes. 422 00:20:43,368 --> 00:20:46,997 I mean, it's the one that I drove here in, but is anything really ours? 423 00:20:47,789 --> 00:20:48,692 I can move it. 424 00:20:48,707 --> 00:20:50,417 No, it's okay. 425 00:20:51,710 --> 00:20:53,003 My apologies, Nathan. 426 00:20:53,921 --> 00:20:56,757 Ms. Kakes, let security know that we have found 427 00:20:56,840 --> 00:21:01,637 the automobile's owner, and everything's fine. 428 00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:02,971 Yes, Mr. Mannion. 429 00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:06,767 - Nathan? - Yeah? 430 00:21:07,559 --> 00:21:09,061 I know you'll make me proud. 431 00:21:10,312 --> 00:21:11,522 I believe in you. 432 00:21:12,314 --> 00:21:15,817 Thank you, Mr. Rupert. Just Rupert. 433 00:21:15,901 --> 00:21:16,902 Plain Rupert. 434 00:21:17,986 --> 00:21:19,071 Rupert. 435 00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:22,032 - Thanks, Ken. - Have a good one, lad. 436 00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:24,076 - Cheers, Ken. - Look after yourselves. 437 00:21:24,159 --> 00:21:25,911 - Thanks, K-Rock. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 438 00:21:25,994 --> 00:21:28,664 Hey, Ken, thanks again for helping us out at the last second. 439 00:21:28,747 --> 00:21:30,874 No worries. You got lucky, really. 440 00:21:31,375 --> 00:21:33,418 Ted, it's a good rule of thumb 441 00:21:33,502 --> 00:21:36,004 never to ask a hippie to come in on his day off. 442 00:21:37,548 --> 00:21:39,675 - Okay, message received. - All right. 443 00:21:39,758 --> 00:21:42,219 Well, I'll go and smoke some toad venom while I'm waiting. 444 00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:44,471 Then the whole day's not a waste. Cheers. 445 00:21:44,555 --> 00:21:46,139 Okay. Yeah. 446 00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:48,642 He gonna be okay to drive us back? 447 00:21:48,725 --> 00:21:50,143 - After the toad venom? - Yeah. 448 00:21:50,227 --> 00:21:51,812 He's usually fine in 20 minutes. 449 00:21:51,895 --> 00:21:55,315 He'll be forever changed, but he can drive, yeah. 450 00:21:55,399 --> 00:21:56,400 Okay, good. 451 00:21:56,483 --> 00:21:58,068 All right, fellas. Follow me. 452 00:22:01,321 --> 00:22:02,364 There he is. 453 00:22:03,407 --> 00:22:04,908 Good to see you again, Coach Lasso. 454 00:22:04,992 --> 00:22:06,326 Hey, nice to see you too, Ivor. 455 00:22:06,410 --> 00:22:07,354 All right. 456 00:22:07,369 --> 00:22:08,662 Come on, fellas. Here we are. 457 00:22:09,496 --> 00:22:11,206 - This is the spot here? - Yes, sir. 458 00:22:11,290 --> 00:22:12,332 All righty. 459 00:22:12,416 --> 00:22:15,335 Okay, here we go, guys. Down the hatch. 460 00:22:15,419 --> 00:22:16,753 - Nah. - What? 461 00:22:16,837 --> 00:22:18,672 - Yeah, we're going down here. - What's he talking about? 462 00:22:18,755 --> 00:22:19,756 Yeah, yeah, go ahead. 463 00:22:22,134 --> 00:22:23,468 Yeah. Nah, it's gonna be fine. 464 00:22:26,722 --> 00:22:28,265 Del, look at this shit. 465 00:22:29,349 --> 00:22:30,851 - Yeah, why don't you go next? - All right. 466 00:22:31,518 --> 00:22:32,518 Is that Roy Kent? 467 00:22:32,561 --> 00:22:33,687 I don't know. 468 00:22:33,770 --> 00:22:35,814 Roy Kent, is that you? 469 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:37,441 Get fucked. 470 00:22:38,483 --> 00:22:40,110 - Yeah, definitely him. - Yeah, that's him. 471 00:22:44,448 --> 00:22:45,908 - Get that on Twitter, son. - Yes. 472 00:23:00,130 --> 00:23:03,008 I just wanted to go through this transfer list. 473 00:23:03,091 --> 00:23:04,801 Some good options here. 474 00:23:06,470 --> 00:23:08,722 Why are you dressed like an umlaut? 475 00:23:09,515 --> 00:23:10,515 Keeley tears. 476 00:23:11,725 --> 00:23:14,186 I've had this dry cleaned now six times. 477 00:23:15,312 --> 00:23:17,814 Can't believe she wears stuff like this on her eyes. 478 00:23:17,898 --> 00:23:18,941 Right. Come here. 479 00:23:23,820 --> 00:23:25,030 Are you sure you want to watch this? 480 00:23:25,113 --> 00:23:27,741 No, I don't want to, Leslie. But it's part of my job. 481 00:23:28,408 --> 00:23:29,409 I need to be ready to comment 482 00:23:29,493 --> 00:23:31,537 if Rupert were to say something snide about me or the team. 483 00:23:32,246 --> 00:23:33,705 Where are they, by the way? 484 00:23:33,789 --> 00:23:35,165 Shouldn't they be training now? 485 00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:45,759 Yeah, come on down, fellas. That's it. All right. 486 00:23:45,843 --> 00:23:51,098 Greyhounds, behold the majesty of the London sewer system. 487 00:23:53,225 --> 00:23:54,211 Disgusting. 488 00:23:54,226 --> 00:23:56,395 Yeah, that's what I thought at first as well. 489 00:23:56,478 --> 00:23:59,690 But then, over the summer, Henry and I took a tour of this place with Ivor here. 490 00:23:59,773 --> 00:24:01,900 Why would you take your kid for a tour of a sewer? 491 00:24:01,984 --> 00:24:03,193 Well, it was his idea, actually. 492 00:24:03,277 --> 00:24:05,779 See, what happened was, on his plane ride over here, 493 00:24:05,863 --> 00:24:09,116 the fellow sitting next to him was watching that horror movie It, 494 00:24:09,199 --> 00:24:11,493 and, well, Henry accidentally ended up watching it too. 495 00:24:12,828 --> 00:24:14,204 So then, when he heard about this tour, 496 00:24:14,288 --> 00:24:16,415 he asked to go on it in order to face his fears. 497 00:24:16,498 --> 00:24:17,484 Fucking smart. 498 00:24:17,499 --> 00:24:19,209 Yeah, that is good. 499 00:24:19,293 --> 00:24:21,670 Ain't much scarier out there than a creepy clown, right? 500 00:24:23,297 --> 00:24:26,675 Ladies and gentlemen of the press, welcome. 501 00:24:26,758 --> 00:24:29,469 Lovely to see you all, and thank you 502 00:24:29,553 --> 00:24:34,016 for selecting our humble little football club to do so well this season. 503 00:24:37,728 --> 00:24:39,104 Twat. 504 00:24:39,188 --> 00:24:41,190 Ivor, my friend, why don't you help these fine fellows 505 00:24:41,273 --> 00:24:43,150 with some fun facts about this here feces factory? 506 00:24:43,233 --> 00:24:46,195 Well, back in 1859, 507 00:24:46,278 --> 00:24:49,072 an engineer called Joseph Bazalgette and his team 508 00:24:49,156 --> 00:24:54,203 built more than 1,200 miles of interconnected tunnels and sewers. 509 00:24:54,286 --> 00:24:58,582 And its creation helped cure a massive cholera outbreak 510 00:24:58,665 --> 00:25:02,211 after untreated human waste found its way into the River Thames. 511 00:25:03,045 --> 00:25:05,380 Anyone know what that epidemic was called? 512 00:25:05,464 --> 00:25:07,216 Great Stink of 1858. 513 00:25:07,299 --> 00:25:08,383 That's correct. 514 00:25:10,260 --> 00:25:11,720 All right, go ahead, Ivor. Keep cooking. 515 00:25:11,803 --> 00:25:14,264 The person you are here to see, 516 00:25:14,348 --> 00:25:16,892 the Wonder Kid himself, 517 00:25:16,975 --> 00:25:18,435 our new manager, 518 00:25:19,561 --> 00:25:20,561 Nathan Shelley. 519 00:25:29,738 --> 00:25:32,533 Thank you. Very nice to be here. 520 00:25:33,367 --> 00:25:35,077 I'm pretty sure I said "wunderkind." 521 00:25:38,622 --> 00:25:40,916 Doesn't… It doesn't matter. Doesn't… 522 00:25:44,294 --> 00:25:45,629 Sorry, does anyone have any questions? 523 00:25:47,881 --> 00:25:50,133 - Yes, you. Thank you. - How are you and the lads getting on? 524 00:25:50,217 --> 00:25:51,385 Yeah, really great. 525 00:25:52,636 --> 00:25:53,971 Getting to know them. 526 00:25:54,596 --> 00:25:56,181 Getting to know all about them. 527 00:25:57,266 --> 00:25:58,642 Getting to like them. 528 00:26:00,936 --> 00:26:02,563 Getting to hope… 529 00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:08,610 Excuse me a second. 530 00:26:15,701 --> 00:26:17,369 What is he doing? 531 00:26:32,426 --> 00:26:35,179 Sorry, just had to tie my shoe. 532 00:26:36,763 --> 00:26:38,724 Yeah, next question, please. Thank you. Yes? 533 00:26:38,807 --> 00:26:40,642 Coach Shelley, 534 00:26:40,726 --> 00:26:43,562 you are now the manager of a contending Premier League team, 535 00:26:43,645 --> 00:26:48,901 but just two years ago, you were a mere kit man, washing another team's underwear. 536 00:26:48,984 --> 00:26:53,864 I mean, it must all feel a bit overwhelming for you, yes? 537 00:26:55,908 --> 00:26:58,785 Not for me, no. Because I earned this job. 538 00:26:59,703 --> 00:27:01,830 What's overwhelming is the confusion I feel 539 00:27:01,914 --> 00:27:05,209 when someone so intelligent-looking asks such a stupid question. 540 00:27:10,923 --> 00:27:11,924 Meow. 541 00:27:12,424 --> 00:27:13,717 Anyone else? 542 00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:16,053 - Yeah, I got a question. - Yeah, go ahead, Isaac. 543 00:27:16,136 --> 00:27:17,387 What the fuck are we doing here? 544 00:27:20,807 --> 00:27:22,267 Silence! 545 00:27:22,768 --> 00:27:24,811 Thank you, Coach. That's a good question, Isaac. 546 00:27:24,895 --> 00:27:28,440 And direct, which is a personality trait y'all's generation has truly embraced, 547 00:27:28,524 --> 00:27:32,402 and I tell you what, I've grown used to it, so I appreciate it. 548 00:27:32,486 --> 00:27:35,030 Yeah, well, hey, fellas, take a look around. 549 00:27:35,906 --> 00:27:37,449 What are we surrounded by down here? 550 00:27:38,075 --> 00:27:39,535 - Coach. - Yeah, Jamie. 551 00:27:39,618 --> 00:27:42,246 - We're surrounded by poopy. - That's right. 552 00:27:42,329 --> 00:27:43,232 But if you ask me, 553 00:27:43,247 --> 00:27:46,583 we're surrounded by a whole bunch of poopy up there as well, yeah? 554 00:27:47,835 --> 00:27:52,297 See, gentlemen, right now, y'all's brains are basically London in 1857. 555 00:27:52,381 --> 00:27:55,008 They're blocked up by other people's dookie. 556 00:27:55,843 --> 00:28:00,138 Y'all need to make an internal sewer system within yourselves, 557 00:28:00,222 --> 00:28:04,184 and then connect to each other's tunnels, help each other keep that flow. 558 00:28:05,060 --> 00:28:08,188 So if you're ever having a crisis of confidence, 559 00:28:08,272 --> 00:28:10,440 you know, borrow some of Jamie's. 560 00:28:11,275 --> 00:28:15,571 Yeah? Or if you're feeling down, you know, get some Dani in your life. 561 00:28:15,654 --> 00:28:19,491 Or you can learn from Richard's vast knowledge of expensive wines. 562 00:28:19,575 --> 00:28:24,162 Fine wines, Coach. The thing is, a great bottle of wine 563 00:28:24,246 --> 00:28:28,041 really doesn't need to be an expensive bottle of wine, you get it? 564 00:28:28,625 --> 00:28:31,253 All right, see? That's wisdom right there. 565 00:28:31,336 --> 00:28:32,336 Merci beaucoup. 566 00:28:34,131 --> 00:28:35,632 Yeah. Next question. 567 00:28:35,716 --> 00:28:40,304 Coach Shelley, regarding your old team, AFC Richmond, 568 00:28:40,387 --> 00:28:45,058 any idea why everyone is expecting them to finish 20th this season? 569 00:28:48,437 --> 00:28:50,689 Probably because there's no 21st. 570 00:28:52,566 --> 00:28:53,567 Ouch. 571 00:28:54,193 --> 00:28:57,696 Guys, all we gotta do is remember to stay connected to one another 572 00:28:57,779 --> 00:29:03,452 and let anything we don't need flow right through all the way to, 573 00:29:03,535 --> 00:29:05,913 I don't know, Germany or… Where does it go, Ivor? 574 00:29:05,996 --> 00:29:08,832 Processed through a treatment plant and dumped back into the ocean, 575 00:29:08,916 --> 00:29:11,251 where we swim and get our seafood. 576 00:29:13,253 --> 00:29:15,172 Oh. Okay. Yeah, that's horrible. 577 00:29:15,255 --> 00:29:16,757 - All right, y'all get it? - Yes, Coach. 578 00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:18,717 Okay, let's get upstairs, get some fresh air. 579 00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:20,260 Come on. Let's go. Hurry up. On the hop. 580 00:29:20,344 --> 00:29:22,763 No sudden movements near the bus driver. 581 00:29:29,561 --> 00:29:30,812 Coach Shelley, 582 00:29:30,896 --> 00:29:33,732 would you like to comment on the new picture of AFC Richmond 583 00:29:33,815 --> 00:29:35,692 that's just showed up online? 584 00:29:35,776 --> 00:29:36,777 What picture? 585 00:29:41,823 --> 00:29:43,867 I think I know where the team's gone. 586 00:29:53,252 --> 00:29:54,711 Yeah, well, it makes sense to me. 587 00:29:54,795 --> 00:29:57,548 They probably have to train in a sewer because their coach is so shitty. 588 00:30:06,098 --> 00:30:07,432 Oh, boy. 589 00:30:20,028 --> 00:30:21,488 I really like that Kenneth guy. 590 00:30:21,572 --> 00:30:24,032 He seems really plugged in, yeah? 591 00:30:24,116 --> 00:30:25,158 Oh, yeah. No, I agree. 592 00:30:25,242 --> 00:30:30,539 That nutter told me to ask the fucking Earth to help me carry some of my burden. 593 00:30:31,874 --> 00:30:32,875 He ain't wrong. 594 00:30:32,958 --> 00:30:34,251 That's not a terrible idea. 595 00:30:37,296 --> 00:30:38,282 Oh, boy. 596 00:30:38,297 --> 00:30:39,298 What? 597 00:30:39,381 --> 00:30:40,632 That little prick. 598 00:30:40,716 --> 00:30:42,509 - Who? - Just check your phone. 599 00:30:48,515 --> 00:30:49,975 Yo, you see what Nate said about us? 600 00:30:51,768 --> 00:30:53,061 Check this out. Look. 601 00:30:53,145 --> 00:30:54,521 - What happened? - What? 602 00:30:54,605 --> 00:30:56,023 - You see? - No, no, no. 603 00:30:57,649 --> 00:30:59,026 I better say something. 604 00:30:59,109 --> 00:31:01,320 Hey, hey, lads, lads, lads. 605 00:31:01,403 --> 00:31:05,782 Remember, it's just poopy. Let it flow. 606 00:31:05,866 --> 00:31:08,702 - Yeah. - Just like in the sewer. 607 00:31:09,828 --> 00:31:10,996 Bingo, "el ringo". 608 00:31:11,079 --> 00:31:13,665 - Clever, Jamie. - Yeah. 609 00:31:15,667 --> 00:31:16,877 All right. 610 00:31:25,511 --> 00:31:26,970 Hey, boss. 611 00:31:27,054 --> 00:31:28,055 Where were you this afternoon? 612 00:31:28,138 --> 00:31:30,849 I took the fellows on a little impromptu field trip. 613 00:31:30,933 --> 00:31:34,102 Yes, to a sewer, Ted. I know. Everyone knows. 614 00:31:35,062 --> 00:31:36,813 And you're upset that I didn't invite you? 615 00:31:36,897 --> 00:31:38,232 No, Coach Lasso, 616 00:31:38,315 --> 00:31:42,903 I'm upset because the team that I own is projected to finish last this season. 617 00:31:42,986 --> 00:31:47,866 And my manager decided to skip training and take our players into a fucking sewer. 618 00:31:49,284 --> 00:31:50,827 No, yeah, I can see your point, yeah. 619 00:31:51,578 --> 00:31:53,163 Did you hear what Nathan was saying about you? 620 00:31:54,206 --> 00:31:56,792 - Yes, ma'am. - And are you planning on addressing that? 621 00:31:57,417 --> 00:31:58,418 No, ma'am. 622 00:31:59,753 --> 00:32:01,922 Everyone is laughing at us, Ted. 623 00:32:02,673 --> 00:32:05,300 At you, at our team, at me. 624 00:32:06,343 --> 00:32:08,595 Rupert is laughing at me, Ted. 625 00:32:09,471 --> 00:32:15,102 And I am begging you, please, fight back. 626 00:32:20,148 --> 00:32:21,275 Yeah. Sarah. 627 00:32:21,358 --> 00:32:23,443 - Hey, I like the new hair color. - Thank you. 628 00:32:23,527 --> 00:32:24,471 You do it just for fun 629 00:32:24,486 --> 00:32:26,071 - or are you going through a breakup? - Both. 630 00:32:26,154 --> 00:32:27,573 Yep, no, I get it. What you got? 631 00:32:27,656 --> 00:32:30,242 Coach, how are you feeling about the unanimous opinion 632 00:32:30,325 --> 00:32:32,828 that Richmond will be relegated again at the end of the season? 633 00:32:33,453 --> 00:32:34,580 Yeah, that's true, isn't it? 634 00:32:34,663 --> 00:32:38,458 Expectations for us are as low as a rattlesnake's belly button, huh? 635 00:32:39,042 --> 00:32:41,712 But, hey, we got 38 chances to prove all them folks wrong though, right? 636 00:32:41,795 --> 00:32:44,756 Yeah. And my hopes are as high as a giraffe's top hat. 637 00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:45,784 Next question. 638 00:32:45,799 --> 00:32:49,052 And if it is, "Why is a giraffe wearing a top hat?" Don't ask me, man. 639 00:32:49,136 --> 00:32:50,804 Go ask a giraffe. 640 00:32:50,888 --> 00:32:52,764 - Coach? - Yeah, Marcus. 641 00:32:52,848 --> 00:32:54,391 Marcus Adebayo, The Independent. 642 00:32:56,476 --> 00:32:57,561 Congrats on the new gig. 643 00:32:57,644 --> 00:32:59,563 - Thank you. - What have you got for me? 644 00:32:59,646 --> 00:33:01,523 Do you have any response to comments made earlier today 645 00:33:01,607 --> 00:33:03,734 by your former assistant coach, Nathan Shelley? 646 00:33:08,989 --> 00:33:09,989 Yes, I do. 647 00:33:10,699 --> 00:33:11,742 Yeah. 648 00:33:12,618 --> 00:33:13,785 I thought it was hilarious. 649 00:33:16,914 --> 00:33:19,416 I mean, he came and got us, didn't he? No doubt about that. 650 00:33:20,209 --> 00:33:21,877 Hey, but that's Nate the Great for you, you know? 651 00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:23,045 He's the same way on the pitch. 652 00:33:23,128 --> 00:33:25,672 He'll find the tiniest little weakness in a team 653 00:33:25,756 --> 00:33:28,342 and just want to attack that, you know? 654 00:33:28,425 --> 00:33:31,345 I mean, he's a junkyard dog, man. And smart. 655 00:33:31,428 --> 00:33:33,430 They're real lucky to have him over there at West Ham. 656 00:33:33,514 --> 00:33:34,681 I wish him the best of luck. 657 00:33:40,103 --> 00:33:42,773 I guess I am a little surprised that's all he could come up with. 658 00:33:42,856 --> 00:33:44,066 Especially against me. 659 00:33:44,149 --> 00:33:46,443 You know, not one joke about me being a dumb American? 660 00:33:46,527 --> 00:33:50,155 Come on, man. It's sitting there. I mean, I'm so dumb… 661 00:33:54,576 --> 00:33:56,954 Y'all are supposed to say, "How dumb are you?" 662 00:33:57,037 --> 00:33:58,914 - Gary. - Why? 663 00:33:59,623 --> 00:34:01,250 Well, I mean, it's just classic joke structure. 664 00:34:01,333 --> 00:34:03,627 Give it a shot. I mean, I'm so dumb… 665 00:34:04,419 --> 00:34:06,046 - Lloyd. - How dumb are you? 666 00:34:07,756 --> 00:34:10,467 Okay. Well, I'm so dumb that the first time I heard y'all 667 00:34:10,551 --> 00:34:11,635 talking about Yorkshire pudding, 668 00:34:11,717 --> 00:34:14,137 I thought it was a fancy word y'all had for dog poop. 669 00:34:15,681 --> 00:34:17,391 Yeah. I mean, I'm so dumb… 670 00:34:17,474 --> 00:34:19,726 - How dumb are you? - How… How dumb are you? 671 00:34:20,351 --> 00:34:21,562 Yeah, all right, well, you know. 672 00:34:21,645 --> 00:34:26,233 Well, whenever I text someone over here about money, I still spell "pounds" L-B-S. 673 00:34:27,900 --> 00:34:30,571 Look, man, I'm not a great coach. Probably ain't. 674 00:34:30,654 --> 00:34:32,572 I've been doing this sport now for three years, 675 00:34:32,656 --> 00:34:35,617 and I still get a chuckle every time someone talks about a handball violation. 676 00:34:37,536 --> 00:34:40,664 Yeah, and not one crack about my appearance? About this mustache? 677 00:34:40,746 --> 00:34:44,751 I look like Ned Flanders is doing cosplay as Ned Flanders. 678 00:34:46,753 --> 00:34:49,715 When I talk, it sounds like Dr. Phil hasn't gone through puberty yet. 679 00:34:52,384 --> 00:34:56,054 Yeah, I'm more corny than Kevin Costner's outfield. 680 00:34:57,931 --> 00:35:00,142 I lost you on that one. Yeah. 681 00:35:00,225 --> 00:35:01,435 Swing and a miss. 682 00:35:01,518 --> 00:35:04,897 Yeah. Field of Dreams? No? 683 00:35:04,980 --> 00:35:07,107 I guess y'all don't really like baseball here, 684 00:35:07,191 --> 00:35:09,318 so why would you like movies about it? The… 685 00:35:12,321 --> 00:35:13,614 Well, hey, how about this one? 686 00:35:13,697 --> 00:35:15,240 Regarding my panic attacks, 687 00:35:15,324 --> 00:35:18,202 I've had more psychotic episodes than Twin Peaks. 688 00:35:20,746 --> 00:35:22,039 I mean, I'm so crazy… 689 00:35:22,122 --> 00:35:24,291 - How crazy are you? - How crazy are you? 690 00:35:24,374 --> 00:35:25,792 There we go. 691 00:36:01,203 --> 00:36:02,454 Coach Shelley? 692 00:36:03,664 --> 00:36:05,123 I have a package for you. 693 00:36:05,791 --> 00:36:06,792 Thank you. 694 00:36:10,087 --> 00:36:11,672 It's from Mr. Mannion. 695 00:36:20,514 --> 00:36:23,141 I don't know if I should open it in front of you or wait for you to leave. 696 00:36:23,225 --> 00:36:24,476 It's a car. 697 00:37:19,448 --> 00:37:21,116 I'm finished, Uncle Roy. 698 00:37:30,167 --> 00:37:31,752 Ice cream before dinner? 699 00:37:32,336 --> 00:37:34,713 Either you think I did something very good, 700 00:37:34,796 --> 00:37:36,798 or you guys did something very bad. 701 00:37:40,177 --> 00:37:45,224 Phoebs, your Uncle Roy and I have something we need to tell you. 702 00:37:47,392 --> 00:37:48,894 Okay, what? 703 00:37:50,479 --> 00:37:52,189 - We're going on a break. - We broke up. 704 00:37:57,319 --> 00:37:58,403 Which is it? 705 00:37:59,530 --> 00:38:01,281 - Well… - We broke up. 706 00:38:04,785 --> 00:38:07,746 But don't worry, because your Uncle Roy and I talked, 707 00:38:07,829 --> 00:38:11,124 and you and I can still see each other whenever you want to. 708 00:38:12,334 --> 00:38:13,335 Why? 709 00:38:15,546 --> 00:38:18,632 Because we thought you'd wanna hang out with me sometimes. 710 00:38:19,216 --> 00:38:22,344 No, no. Why are you breaking up? 711 00:38:28,725 --> 00:38:30,644 That's a good question. 712 00:38:36,650 --> 00:38:38,151 We're too busy. 713 00:38:39,820 --> 00:38:42,447 But you were both busy before. 714 00:38:44,700 --> 00:38:47,870 We're more busy now. 715 00:38:49,496 --> 00:38:50,998 How so? 716 00:38:52,791 --> 00:38:58,046 Keeley's got her own company now, so that takes up a lot of her time and focus. 717 00:38:58,130 --> 00:39:00,174 And we had a coach quit, 718 00:39:00,257 --> 00:39:04,052 so it's now my responsibility for tactics and strategies and shi… 719 00:39:04,136 --> 00:39:07,556 Roy, I know you're scared about that, but it's gon… 720 00:39:13,145 --> 00:39:14,146 Right. 721 00:39:16,857 --> 00:39:19,067 Do you wanna talk about it some more, or… 722 00:39:19,735 --> 00:39:23,155 No, not really. It makes sense. 723 00:39:23,238 --> 00:39:25,949 I mean, you were only together a year. 724 00:39:26,700 --> 00:39:31,580 And few relationships can survive a major career change, much less two. 725 00:39:34,374 --> 00:39:37,836 Besides, my mum and dad split up when I were four, 726 00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:41,548 so one of my core beliefs is that nothing lasts forever. 727 00:39:45,093 --> 00:39:47,763 I am happy we still get to be friends though. 728 00:39:48,555 --> 00:39:49,848 Yeah, so am I. 729 00:39:52,267 --> 00:39:54,269 We should probably go. 730 00:39:54,353 --> 00:39:56,688 All that ice cream's already doing a number on my tummy. 731 00:39:58,982 --> 00:39:59,983 Right. 732 00:40:08,033 --> 00:40:09,952 - Uncle Roy? - Yeah? 733 00:40:10,619 --> 00:40:12,621 Are you sure you're doing the right thing? 734 00:40:16,124 --> 00:40:17,125 I don't know. 735 00:40:19,169 --> 00:40:20,963 Can I say a bad word? 736 00:40:21,046 --> 00:40:22,047 Go on. 737 00:40:22,548 --> 00:40:24,424 I think you're being stupid. 738 00:40:33,642 --> 00:40:35,018 Something on your mind, Coach? 739 00:40:38,438 --> 00:40:40,232 You ever wonder why we're here, Coach? 740 00:40:41,149 --> 00:40:42,401 In London or on Earth? 741 00:40:43,235 --> 00:40:46,446 Well, both, I guess, but for the sake of this conversation, let's go with London. 742 00:40:46,530 --> 00:40:47,698 Carry on. 743 00:40:47,781 --> 00:40:50,284 I mean, look, I know it's nuts we came here in the first place, 744 00:40:50,367 --> 00:40:52,703 but at this point, I can't tell if it's more crazy 745 00:40:52,786 --> 00:40:54,872 or less crazy that we're still here. 746 00:40:56,582 --> 00:40:58,250 We grabbing a beer, Coach? 747 00:40:58,333 --> 00:41:00,961 No, I can't. I wanna talk to Henry. Why? 748 00:41:01,044 --> 00:41:03,088 'Cause we just passed your apartment. 749 00:41:03,172 --> 00:41:05,174 Shoot. Okay. Night, Coach. 750 00:41:05,257 --> 00:41:06,258 Night, Coach. 751 00:41:10,971 --> 00:41:11,874 Hi, Dad. 752 00:41:11,889 --> 00:41:15,017 Well, if it isn't Mr. Carmen Sandiego himself. 753 00:41:15,726 --> 00:41:16,727 How was your flight? 754 00:41:16,810 --> 00:41:19,479 It was good. I watched a movie called The Exorcist. 755 00:41:19,563 --> 00:41:21,023 Wait, you did what? 756 00:41:21,106 --> 00:41:22,191 I'm kidding. 757 00:41:23,901 --> 00:41:24,943 That was good. You got me. 758 00:41:26,153 --> 00:41:27,321 Hey, hey, check it out. 759 00:41:27,404 --> 00:41:28,697 I put the trophy you gave me 760 00:41:28,780 --> 00:41:31,658 right down here smack-dab in the middle of Nelson Road Stadium. 761 00:41:31,742 --> 00:41:32,993 - How about that? - That's great, 762 00:41:33,076 --> 00:41:35,662 but why is Nate off to the side? 763 00:41:36,413 --> 00:41:39,583 Well, remember, he's not part of the team anymore, yeah? 764 00:41:39,666 --> 00:41:41,793 Yeah, but you can still be friends, right? 765 00:41:42,961 --> 00:41:44,630 You know what? You're right, buddy. Here. 766 00:41:44,713 --> 00:41:47,424 Yeah. All right. Let me fix that for you right now. 767 00:41:48,675 --> 00:41:50,010 Yeah. 768 00:41:50,093 --> 00:41:51,303 There you go. 769 00:41:52,054 --> 00:41:53,180 Hey, big guy, 770 00:41:54,264 --> 00:41:55,933 you know I don't like being away from you, right? 771 00:41:56,016 --> 00:41:57,226 Yeah. 772 00:41:57,309 --> 00:41:59,728 And that I'd only ever do it for something really important. 773 00:41:59,811 --> 00:42:01,230 You know, something I believe in, yeah? 774 00:42:01,313 --> 00:42:02,313 Yeah. 775 00:42:02,356 --> 00:42:04,191 And do you understand why I'm still here? 776 00:42:04,274 --> 00:42:06,693 Of course. To win the whole thing. 777 00:42:07,945 --> 00:42:10,280 Well, now, don't forget. Winning ain't everything. 778 00:42:10,906 --> 00:42:13,450 Yeah, Dad, but you gotta try, right? 779 00:42:16,703 --> 00:42:18,121 No, you're absolutely right. 780 00:42:18,997 --> 00:42:20,374 We always have to try. 781 00:42:20,457 --> 00:42:24,628 Good. Now the universe is alive! 782 00:42:25,379 --> 00:42:26,547 What is that? 783 00:42:26,630 --> 00:42:29,883 Thanos's Infinity Gauntlet. Jake gave it to me. 784 00:42:29,967 --> 00:42:33,887 Oh, snap. Well, that is cool. Who's Jake? 785 00:42:34,388 --> 00:42:35,597 Mommy's friend. 786 00:42:38,225 --> 00:42:39,726 See? It lights up. 787 00:42:42,855 --> 00:42:43,856 Great.