1 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:26,944 Fucking hell. 2 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,156 All right, let's go. 3 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:32,573 It's 4:00 a.m. 4 00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:34,701 Yeah. We start at 4:00 a.m. 5 00:00:34,785 --> 00:00:35,911 I thought you were joking. 6 00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:37,162 How is that a joke? 7 00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:38,580 'Cause it's 4:00 a.m. 8 00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:42,835 We start at 4:00, so you can do three workouts a day instead of two. 9 00:00:43,836 --> 00:00:46,296 Okay, but it's 4:00 a.m. 10 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,590 Do you wanna be better than Zava or not? 11 00:00:50,676 --> 00:00:52,719 Well, how are we gonna see? It's dark out. 12 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,431 Fucking hell. 13 00:00:56,932 --> 00:00:59,560 Now get dressed. Or I start flicking your balls. 14 00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:01,854 This is perverse. 15 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:35,721 Whoops. 16 00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:52,529 There you go. 17 00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:07,669 Good morning, Sassy Smurf. 18 00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:11,173 Good morning, Marlboro Man. 19 00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:14,218 You know, you snored all night. 20 00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:16,178 I'm sorry about that. 21 00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:18,764 That's all right. It's actually very soothing. 22 00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:20,057 Sounded like the sea. 23 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,768 Well, I'm glad you didn't hear any boat horns, 24 00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:25,604 given all the fried yams I ate last night. 25 00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:34,446 Hey, I was thinking. We have a good time together, yeah? 26 00:02:34,530 --> 00:02:37,157 They're called simultaneous orgasms, Ted, yes. 27 00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:39,743 Yeah, well, but I mean 28 00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:43,247 also all the talking and laughing and all that stuff. Yeah? 29 00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:46,500 Sure. Well, apart from all your dreadful puns. 30 00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:48,752 Right. Well, it's tough. 31 00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:51,797 Sometimes I just see 'em there, and I gotta take a swing at 'em, you know? 32 00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:55,634 No, I… Well, what I'm getting at is… 33 00:02:58,262 --> 00:02:59,930 Well, I was just thinking maybe… 34 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,308 we could go on an actual date sometime. 35 00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:05,769 You know? You and me, together. 36 00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:08,814 God, no. 37 00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:12,442 Well, I appreciate you taking the time to consider it. 38 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,736 Ted, we can't date. 39 00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:15,820 Why not? 40 00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:19,074 - You're a mess. - I'm a mess? 41 00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:20,701 Course you are. 42 00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:24,162 I'm a mess too, but I'm a mess three years further on than you, 43 00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:26,582 so I'm more of a slight disarray. 44 00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:28,792 More like a slight disarray of sunshine, if you ask me. 45 00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:30,210 Oh, God. 46 00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:33,839 - Sorry. - Ted, on the day my ex got remarried, 47 00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:36,675 I drank a bottle of red wine through a straw 48 00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:39,887 and told my Uber driver I was in love with him. 49 00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:43,682 Then, when he dropped me home, I puked so much, 50 00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:46,768 my mouth was like an elevator from the goddamn Shining. 51 00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:49,646 Knocked my rating down to a 3.9. 52 00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:50,939 3.9? 53 00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:54,151 Fuck you. Why? What's yours? 54 00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:58,197 Oh, God, you're a five, aren't you? 55 00:03:59,156 --> 00:04:01,742 Course you're a five. How the fuck are you a five? 56 00:04:01,825 --> 00:04:04,703 I don't know. I'm tidy. I say "Please" and "Thank you." 57 00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:06,788 Sometimes I offer to drive if they look tired. 58 00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:10,417 You are such a mess. 59 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:16,380 Ted, I like our status. 60 00:04:18,257 --> 00:04:22,012 Friends with benefits, like Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher. 61 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:25,224 No. I think you're thinking of 2011's other 62 00:04:25,307 --> 00:04:27,392 good-friends-turned-casual-lovers based rom-com. 63 00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:30,937 No Strings Attached. 64 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:34,650 Friends with Benefits was Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake. 65 00:04:35,234 --> 00:04:38,237 Wow. 2011, friends be fuckin'. 66 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:39,363 Yeah. 67 00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:42,449 So, let's keep things 2011. Cool and breezy. 68 00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,326 Like an Arab Spring. 69 00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:51,124 And good luck against West Ham this weekend. 70 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:52,751 Fuck Rupert 71 00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:56,046 and that shriveled raisin-pouch he calls a nutsack. 72 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,146 Hello! Here for Flo? 73 00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:14,940 - You can jump in, love. - Lovely, thank you. 74 00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:18,819 This is nice. Gray seats? Yes, please. 75 00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:20,863 …West Ham. This is the real opportunity 76 00:05:20,946 --> 00:05:22,573 for the Wonder Kid to become the Wonder Man… 77 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,074 101. 78 00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:26,410 100. 79 00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:28,996 Ninety-nine. 80 00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:35,127 Why do you only sleep with a top on? 81 00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:39,006 Because I get cold upstairs and hot downstairs. 82 00:05:40,132 --> 00:05:41,133 I get that. 83 00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:45,721 Mornin'. 84 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,120 Listen to what Rupert said in this one. 85 00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:14,041 "I truly look forward to seeing my old club again. 86 00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:16,335 Richmond are top-class." 87 00:06:16,919 --> 00:06:19,588 - What a soggy, wet piece of shit. - Thank you. 88 00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:24,801 Right, I'm off to the training ground. Thanks again for the opportunity. 89 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,846 Babe, you earned it. 90 00:06:27,930 --> 00:06:31,058 Shandy came up with this super fun Bantr promo. 91 00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:33,185 It uses all the single players on the team. 92 00:06:33,268 --> 00:06:34,436 Yeah. 93 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:38,524 The anonymous man you're Bantr-ing with could be a professional footballer. 94 00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:41,818 That's great. 95 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:44,613 And that's all the single players, you say? 96 00:06:44,696 --> 00:06:48,700 So, it's, like, Colin and Dani and Sam, et cetera? 97 00:06:48,784 --> 00:06:50,953 Yeah, although I don't think Sam's doing it anymore. 98 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:54,373 - No. - So fun. 99 00:06:56,208 --> 00:06:58,168 - Ms. Jones. - Hello, Barbara. 100 00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:00,128 - All right there, Barbs? - It's "Barbara." 101 00:07:00,796 --> 00:07:04,925 If possible, could I get two tickets for the Richmond-West Ham match? 102 00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:07,052 Jack might be coming to London this weekend. 103 00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:08,303 Of course. 104 00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:10,764 Who's Jack? 105 00:07:12,683 --> 00:07:13,683 Jack Danvers. 106 00:07:14,977 --> 00:07:18,105 The head of the VC that funded your company. 107 00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:20,691 Our boss. 108 00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:27,030 Yes. That Jack. Of course. 109 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:29,908 That's not a problem, Barbara. 110 00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:32,703 I can let you have some seats in my suite. 111 00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:35,497 Lovely. 112 00:07:35,581 --> 00:07:38,750 Thank you so much, Rebecca. That's so kind of you and so efficient. 113 00:07:41,420 --> 00:07:42,420 Keeley. 114 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,300 Thanks, Barbara. 115 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:52,931 So, the one thing we cannot do against West Ham is the False Nine. 116 00:07:53,015 --> 00:07:54,892 - 'Cause that's Nate's shit. - Exactly. 117 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,269 So, we decided to go with our classic 4-4-2. 118 00:07:57,352 --> 00:07:59,521 Which is exactly what that prick expects us to do. 119 00:07:59,605 --> 00:08:02,399 So, we do the opposite. Five up front. Full-on attack. 120 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:05,944 But Nate knows we're gonna do that, 121 00:08:06,028 --> 00:08:09,990 because Nate knows that we're trying to outthink him by thinking like him. 122 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:14,786 Well, fuck Nate, fuck thinking and fuck fucking Socrates. 123 00:08:14,870 --> 00:08:17,122 So, we gotta stop thinking like Nate and start thinking 124 00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:19,917 like Nate would think we would think if Nate were thinking like us, 125 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,085 and then do the last thing that Nate thinking like us 126 00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:25,172 thinking like Nate thinking like us would ever expect us to do. 127 00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:30,677 Have Zava drop back and play Nate's False Nine. 128 00:08:30,761 --> 00:08:31,970 Voi-fucking-la. 129 00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:34,222 Brilliant. 130 00:08:34,306 --> 00:08:36,475 - It's mostly Beard's idea. - Nah, it was a group effort. 131 00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:37,601 I do have one question. 132 00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:38,977 - Of course. - Who fucking cares? 133 00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:41,813 Do you think Zava'll do it? 134 00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:49,863 Fuck! 135 00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:53,158 - Good mornin'. - Hey. 136 00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:57,871 - Uh-oh, what's wrong? - Roy doesn't think we can beat Nate. 137 00:08:57,955 --> 00:09:01,667 - Higgins doesn't think so either! - Beard said it to me first. 138 00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:04,795 - You throw me under the bus? How dare… - You walked in here this morning… 139 00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:08,257 - You're gonna sell me out? - Whoa! Whoa. 140 00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:11,093 Y'all pointin' more fingers than Ganesha givin' directions. 141 00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:14,596 Now look, you fellas need to calm down and just kiss. 142 00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:18,225 He's right. 143 00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:21,687 Keep it simple, smartypants. 144 00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:24,439 An answer will show up. Don't worry. 145 00:09:25,107 --> 00:09:29,403 But until it does, here's a question for y'all: Am I a mess? 146 00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:34,908 Sassy ended up spending the night last night and… 147 00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:38,287 No, hush your butts. That ain't the headline. 148 00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:40,455 Well, I asked her out on a proper date this morning. 149 00:09:40,539 --> 00:09:44,668 She turned me down cold. She said I was… and I quote… "a mess." 150 00:09:46,587 --> 00:09:51,383 - Yeah. - Sounds like a case for the Diamond Dogs! 151 00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:52,843 Release the hounds. 152 00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,053 Yeah, here we go! Let's do it. 153 00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:00,893 Fuck's sakes. 154 00:10:05,898 --> 00:10:06,898 Yes. 155 00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:09,651 - "Yes" what? - Yes, you're a mess. 156 00:10:09,735 --> 00:10:11,486 Okay. Expound. 157 00:10:11,570 --> 00:10:12,696 We're playing Nate this week, 158 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,323 and you're acting like it's not a big deal. 159 00:10:15,199 --> 00:10:16,867 Nothing's different. He didn't hurt you. 160 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,827 Hey, look, we ain't talking about Nate right now. 161 00:10:18,911 --> 00:10:21,914 I'm asking you if you think I'm a mess. All right? 162 00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:23,081 Higgy pie, what do you think? 163 00:10:23,165 --> 00:10:26,919 I think I don't understand how you're not pissed off with Nate. 164 00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:30,714 We have a saying in Co-Dependents Anonymous. 165 00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:33,509 - Y… What? - Jane makes me go with her. 166 00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:35,344 Yeah. 167 00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:36,887 Pain is like carbon monoxide. 168 00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:40,891 Expressing it to the person who hurt you is like opening a vent, 169 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,185 but holding it in will poison you. 170 00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,772 I like that. But Nate didn't hurt me. 171 00:10:46,855 --> 00:10:47,940 Bullshit! 172 00:10:49,775 --> 00:10:52,069 Roy, did you wanna get in on this Diamond Dog situation? 173 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:54,738 - Hey, Roy! Hey, Roy. - Hey, Roy. Here, Roy. 174 00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:56,907 Here, Roy. Come here, Roy. 175 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,951 La, la, la, la, la! 176 00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:02,996 So, the match of the week is clearly Richmond and West Ham. 177 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,791 Now, it's been a strong start to the season for both of these teams, 178 00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:09,002 but I think the Hammers are favorites, going into the London derby, 179 00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:13,090 based on the tactical acumen of the Wonder Kid, Nathan Shelley. 180 00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:17,261 Yeah, Shelley is brilliant, there's no doubt about that, 181 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:20,889 but Zava, he is a genius. I like the Greyhounds for this one. 182 00:11:20,973 --> 00:11:22,266 That's my guy! 183 00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:24,226 No, you can't have him. He's mine. 184 00:11:26,645 --> 00:11:29,064 - Let's move on, shall we, to Sunday's… - Hey, look. Guys, guys. 185 00:11:29,147 --> 00:11:30,232 Who cares, right? 186 00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:33,318 Now come on, we've got work to do. Let's go. 187 00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:35,320 He is correct. 188 00:11:37,990 --> 00:11:42,619 We must ignore these talking faces. Even when they are in our favor. 189 00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:44,663 Thank you, "Zorro." 190 00:11:45,247 --> 00:11:48,250 Exactly, but it's actually pronounced "Zoreaux." 191 00:11:51,795 --> 00:11:52,796 Why? 192 00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:57,467 I don't know. Because that's how my parents say it, I guess? 193 00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:04,057 My friend, you can be whoever you want to be. 194 00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:09,688 I let all of my children name themselves once they reach the age of seven. 195 00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:13,984 That is why my eldest is called "Smingus Dingus." 196 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:19,323 Dream big, and you may never wake up. 197 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:24,995 Thank you. 198 00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:26,413 Jesus. 199 00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:30,626 I can't believe I'm about to say this, but hey, lads, I agree with Zava. 200 00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:33,754 Yes, it's a big fucking game, but we've just gotta focus, do what we do, 201 00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:35,464 - do you know what I mean? - Yeah. He's right. 202 00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:36,673 And don't forget, yeah? 203 00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:43,972 - Believe in "Believe." - Yes. 204 00:12:45,015 --> 00:12:46,015 What the… 205 00:12:46,517 --> 00:12:47,768 What? 206 00:12:48,477 --> 00:12:49,895 - Oh, shit. - What? 207 00:12:55,317 --> 00:12:57,611 - Why the fuck did you do that? - I was just checking 208 00:12:57,694 --> 00:12:59,571 if I acquired the ability to chop things in half. 209 00:13:00,072 --> 00:13:01,073 Yeah, and what if you had? 210 00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:04,743 Sorry, bruv. I didn't think it through. 211 00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:09,873 Fellas. Someone ripped this in half. 212 00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:11,416 What the fuck? What? 213 00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,293 What the fuck? 214 00:13:14,086 --> 00:13:15,254 You're joking 215 00:13:18,382 --> 00:13:19,383 What the fuck? 216 00:13:42,948 --> 00:13:43,949 Hello… 217 00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:45,993 Jade. 218 00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:49,538 Nathan. 219 00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:52,541 Shelley. 220 00:13:54,543 --> 00:13:56,003 Lovely to see you again. 221 00:13:56,086 --> 00:13:57,296 Okay. 222 00:13:58,881 --> 00:14:00,299 Sorry I've not been around much. 223 00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:02,676 You haven't? 224 00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:06,722 No. No, I've been really busy with my new job. 225 00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:11,476 Big new job just keeping me very busy. 226 00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:15,105 Sounds silly. Maybe you should quit your big new busy job. 227 00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:19,693 Anyway, just here to pick up my takeaway. 228 00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:21,945 I bought lunch for my whole staff. 229 00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:24,072 Apart from the trainers, 'cause they eat like cows. 230 00:14:25,449 --> 00:14:28,160 Sorry, that sounds… No, they're love… I mean, they're lovely people. 231 00:14:28,243 --> 00:14:29,494 They're just vegetarians. 232 00:14:34,208 --> 00:14:35,751 No way. 233 00:14:36,502 --> 00:14:40,964 Look who's here. No fucking way! 234 00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:43,842 - Do you know who this is? - Jason Jelly. 235 00:14:43,926 --> 00:14:45,886 - That's right. - No, "Nathan Shelley." 236 00:14:45,969 --> 00:14:47,888 That's right, Nathan Shelley, 237 00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:50,891 manager of West Ham United, in my restaurant! 238 00:14:52,309 --> 00:14:53,769 - Big week, my guy. - Yep. 239 00:14:53,852 --> 00:14:57,814 Big fucking week. I'm Derek. I'm the manager here. 240 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,359 Anything you need, you got it. 241 00:15:01,026 --> 00:15:03,570 - Okay. - From one manager to another. 242 00:15:04,071 --> 00:15:05,864 Yeah, well, it's not quite the same, but… 243 00:15:06,907 --> 00:15:08,492 Facing your team this week. 244 00:15:09,034 --> 00:15:10,410 That's gotta be hard-core, right? 245 00:15:11,370 --> 00:15:13,830 I mean, you talked a lot of shit about them in the press. 246 00:15:13,914 --> 00:15:17,793 - Didn't ya? I loved it. - Sorry, can I pay? 247 00:15:18,377 --> 00:15:24,591 No. This is on me, okay? On me. Understand? 248 00:15:24,675 --> 00:15:27,094 This man's money is no good here. 249 00:15:27,719 --> 00:15:31,181 Never charge. Except for booze. Gotta charge for booze. 250 00:15:31,265 --> 00:15:32,891 I didn't order any booze. It's 12:30. 251 00:15:35,269 --> 00:15:37,563 Knock 'em dead. Go Hammers! 252 00:15:40,858 --> 00:15:43,944 No way. Oi, do you know who this is? 253 00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:50,784 All right, okay. Bye. 254 00:16:05,549 --> 00:16:06,592 And cut! 255 00:16:06,675 --> 00:16:08,552 Lovely, Colin. Thank you. 256 00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:11,346 All right. Okay, Dani, you're up. 257 00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:13,917 I'm very nervous. 258 00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:16,852 No. Don't be nervous. Look, just sit here. Look into the camera 259 00:16:16,935 --> 00:16:18,854 and pretend you're talking to an old friend. 260 00:16:18,937 --> 00:16:20,189 My oldest friend is Javiar. 261 00:16:20,272 --> 00:16:22,691 Great. How long have you known Javiar? 262 00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:26,278 Only a couple of months, but he turns 108 years old next week. 263 00:16:27,738 --> 00:16:29,615 - Perfect. - Yeah. 264 00:16:30,699 --> 00:16:31,825 Final checks. 265 00:16:33,702 --> 00:16:34,703 Thank you. 266 00:16:36,914 --> 00:16:38,123 - Hello, Keeley. - Hi. 267 00:16:38,207 --> 00:16:41,919 Yeah. Just scoot to your left a little bit. 268 00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:45,172 Yeah, that's it. Okay, off you go, Dani. 269 00:16:45,756 --> 00:16:49,760 You may not know who I am, but I think the most beautiful parts of a woman 270 00:16:50,511 --> 00:16:51,803 are her flaws. 271 00:16:52,471 --> 00:16:55,807 And cut! Thank you, Dani. Next! 272 00:16:55,891 --> 00:16:56,892 Okay. 273 00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,689 - Brought you coffee. - Yeah. 274 00:17:02,773 --> 00:17:04,900 - How's it going? - Oh, my God. This is great. 275 00:17:04,983 --> 00:17:06,234 - Yeah? - They're great. 276 00:17:06,318 --> 00:17:08,529 I just… I love being the boss. 277 00:17:08,612 --> 00:17:10,614 - Cheers to that. Yeah. - Cheers to that. 278 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:11,990 You ready, Zoreaux? 279 00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:14,660 Yeah, but I actually go by "Van Damme" now. 280 00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:17,704 Okay, great. Action, Van Damme. 281 00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:20,665 You don't know who I am, 282 00:17:20,749 --> 00:17:23,377 but I'm looking for someone who likes short walks on the beach, 283 00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:26,964 so we can spend more time, you know… 284 00:17:32,177 --> 00:17:33,720 And cut. 285 00:17:33,804 --> 00:17:36,515 Great, thanks, Van Damme. Next! 286 00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:40,018 - Van Damme? - Yeah. It's my new name. 287 00:17:40,602 --> 00:17:42,229 Cool. Why? 288 00:17:42,813 --> 00:17:44,106 Because I love Jean-Claude Van Damme, 289 00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:46,149 and Zava told me I should be whoever I wanna be. 290 00:17:47,401 --> 00:17:49,611 - Okay, yeah. Cool. - All right, Van Damme. 291 00:17:49,695 --> 00:17:51,321 - All right, boys. - Take it easy. 292 00:17:52,656 --> 00:17:54,074 He's so fucking hot. 293 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:58,954 - What's his story? - Jamie? He's so cocky. 294 00:18:00,414 --> 00:18:02,374 But I guess you have to be at this level. 295 00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:04,751 But he only thinks about himself. 296 00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:08,505 At least, he used to. 297 00:18:08,589 --> 00:18:11,049 Joking. No. 298 00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:14,469 But he's not accountable for his actions and what they do to others. 299 00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:19,391 Except he is getting better at making apologies. 300 00:18:21,435 --> 00:18:23,687 Still, he only thinks with his dick. 301 00:18:25,189 --> 00:18:29,109 And yet, I don't think he's seen anyone in ages. 302 00:18:31,528 --> 00:18:33,780 I just wanna know if I can bang him, babe. 303 00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:39,036 I don't know. 304 00:18:39,620 --> 00:18:41,580 You should probably ask him, it's his dick. 305 00:18:41,663 --> 00:18:43,916 Cool. Off you go, Jamie. 306 00:18:52,508 --> 00:18:53,842 What are y'all still doing here? 307 00:18:53,926 --> 00:18:55,844 Coach, you're gonna wanna watch this. 308 00:18:55,928 --> 00:18:57,137 Is it one of them videos 309 00:18:57,221 --> 00:18:59,306 of a military parent coming home after a long tour? 310 00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:01,600 'Cause if so, I'm gonna be eating tears and snot for dinner. 311 00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:02,684 Not quite. 312 00:19:45,894 --> 00:19:46,895 Here we go. 313 00:19:55,153 --> 00:19:56,738 Where'd this come from? 314 00:19:56,822 --> 00:19:59,366 This fucking legend thought to pull the security footage 315 00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:00,868 when we told him about the sign. 316 00:20:00,951 --> 00:20:02,661 I guess you can take the boy out of journalism 317 00:20:02,744 --> 00:20:04,329 but you can't take journalism out of the boy. 318 00:20:04,413 --> 00:20:06,373 Right, you fucking ruined it now. The point is, 319 00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:08,876 the answer we were looking for has arrived. 320 00:20:09,459 --> 00:20:10,627 What are you talking about? 321 00:20:10,711 --> 00:20:14,047 A video like this could motivate a team, perhaps. 322 00:20:17,718 --> 00:20:19,011 Thank you for your help, Trent. 323 00:20:19,511 --> 00:20:21,805 May a young Robert Redford portray you in a film someday. 324 00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:23,599 Probably Dustin Hoffman. 325 00:20:23,682 --> 00:20:24,850 - Good night. - Good night. 326 00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:28,270 Go home, guys. Get some sleep. 327 00:20:29,605 --> 00:20:30,814 Okay. 328 00:20:30,898 --> 00:20:32,566 - Good night, Ted. Night, Beard. - Good night. 329 00:20:32,649 --> 00:20:33,650 Night, Coach. 330 00:20:40,949 --> 00:20:42,117 Coach. 331 00:20:42,951 --> 00:20:46,038 I was thinking about your Sassy situation. 332 00:20:46,622 --> 00:20:47,622 Yeah. 333 00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:49,124 Jane's sister is in town. 334 00:20:49,208 --> 00:20:51,210 - No, thank you, Coach. - That's the right answer. 335 00:21:10,896 --> 00:21:13,106 Burning the midnight oil, I see. 336 00:21:14,858 --> 00:21:16,944 Yeah. Sorry for the smell. 337 00:21:18,779 --> 00:21:20,489 The oil burning. 338 00:21:22,616 --> 00:21:25,452 So, you're feeling confident about this weekend? 339 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:27,788 Yeah, no, I think so. 340 00:21:30,832 --> 00:21:33,210 Yeah, no. Go… Yeah. We're gonna destroy, right? 341 00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:35,212 Good. 342 00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:37,422 No, it's just, I… 343 00:21:39,675 --> 00:21:41,885 I just haven't seen Ted since I left and… 344 00:21:43,887 --> 00:21:46,014 We didn't leave on the best of terms and… 345 00:21:47,766 --> 00:21:50,018 I feel like I owe him an apology or something. 346 00:21:50,102 --> 00:21:52,312 You did what was best for you. 347 00:21:52,896 --> 00:21:54,314 What were you meant to do? 348 00:21:54,398 --> 00:21:57,025 Hang around, supporting Ted for the rest of your life? 349 00:21:57,109 --> 00:21:58,610 I don't think so. 350 00:22:05,117 --> 00:22:07,911 You've done nothing wrong, Nathan, I promise you. 351 00:22:09,872 --> 00:22:11,540 You earned this job. 352 00:22:14,585 --> 00:22:16,545 Well, so what do I say when I see him? 353 00:22:17,462 --> 00:22:19,756 You say nothing, apart from "hello." 354 00:22:21,091 --> 00:22:23,510 You look him in the eye. You shake his hand. 355 00:22:25,053 --> 00:22:26,763 And then you beat him. 356 00:22:29,183 --> 00:22:30,851 And then we go and celebrate. 357 00:22:32,186 --> 00:22:33,187 Okay. 358 00:22:33,854 --> 00:22:34,854 Good night, Nathan. 359 00:22:37,900 --> 00:22:40,986 Good night, Rupert. Thank you. 360 00:22:42,446 --> 00:22:43,572 Mr. Mannion. 361 00:23:33,705 --> 00:23:34,706 Hey. 362 00:23:35,374 --> 00:23:37,042 Working late? Or hardly working? 363 00:23:37,125 --> 00:23:39,294 Well, I don't think that's how the joke goes. 364 00:23:39,378 --> 00:23:40,504 What joke? 365 00:23:41,588 --> 00:23:42,798 Never mind. What's up? 366 00:23:46,051 --> 00:23:47,636 I really want to win this one. 367 00:23:48,929 --> 00:23:50,013 I know. 368 00:23:57,354 --> 00:23:58,522 Everything okay? 369 00:24:04,987 --> 00:24:06,238 Am I a mess? 370 00:24:06,321 --> 00:24:07,823 Of course you are. That's why we get along. 371 00:24:11,326 --> 00:24:16,373 And I wish I could tell you to ignore Sass, but she's usually right. 372 00:24:18,041 --> 00:24:20,919 So, Sassy already told you about the… Of course. Girl talk. 373 00:24:21,587 --> 00:24:22,588 Girl talk. 374 00:24:25,757 --> 00:24:28,218 So, is everything all right? 375 00:24:30,012 --> 00:24:31,013 Yeah, I'm good. 376 00:24:31,096 --> 00:24:32,139 Oklahoma? 377 00:24:40,314 --> 00:24:41,982 I'm a work in "progmess." 378 00:24:48,071 --> 00:24:49,072 Good night, Ted. 379 00:24:53,118 --> 00:24:54,328 You already won, you know? 380 00:24:56,914 --> 00:24:58,457 You got that turkey out of your life. 381 00:25:02,878 --> 00:25:03,879 Beat them. 382 00:25:07,216 --> 00:25:08,300 Good night, boss. 383 00:25:54,930 --> 00:25:56,890 Oi, do I look all right? 384 00:25:56,974 --> 00:25:58,600 Of course you do. Why? 385 00:25:58,684 --> 00:26:00,018 Well, if Jack actually shows up, 386 00:26:00,102 --> 00:26:03,272 I want him to think that I look mysterious and powerful. 387 00:26:03,355 --> 00:26:04,690 Dynamic, you know? 388 00:26:04,773 --> 00:26:09,570 - All of that. - You are mysterious, powerful and dynamic. 389 00:26:12,990 --> 00:26:14,157 Shit, I'm nervous. 390 00:26:15,826 --> 00:26:17,828 I think I need to go and reapply my lip liner. 391 00:26:19,955 --> 00:26:21,790 - I'll see you upstairs in the suite. - Yep. 392 00:26:25,377 --> 00:26:27,045 Hey, Rebecca! 393 00:26:27,129 --> 00:26:29,590 - Rupert. - Wonderful to see you. 394 00:26:30,382 --> 00:26:33,218 - Bex. Love the new hair. - Hi. 395 00:26:33,802 --> 00:26:35,012 I haven't changed my hair. 396 00:26:35,095 --> 00:26:37,139 Nor should you. It's perfection. 397 00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:40,142 So, how's the little one? 398 00:26:40,225 --> 00:26:44,271 Oh, yeah, Diane. She's already walking. Can you believe that? 399 00:26:44,354 --> 00:26:47,191 Yeah. Drooling and pooing around the house. 400 00:26:47,691 --> 00:26:48,901 Takes after her father. 401 00:26:51,195 --> 00:26:54,114 Well. Hey, take it easy on us today. 402 00:26:54,990 --> 00:26:56,366 No promises. 403 00:27:08,879 --> 00:27:10,005 Oh, shit. 404 00:27:21,391 --> 00:27:22,476 Excuse me. 405 00:27:22,559 --> 00:27:24,978 I've got a bit of a situation here. 406 00:27:28,649 --> 00:27:31,818 Thank you. But it's actually not that. 407 00:27:35,155 --> 00:27:36,532 You're a lifesaver! 408 00:27:37,950 --> 00:27:39,284 Usually I'm like clockwork, 409 00:27:39,368 --> 00:27:42,037 but because I've been so stressed, I've come on early. 410 00:27:43,455 --> 00:27:46,375 I'm so happy that it's a super and not a skinny. 411 00:27:46,458 --> 00:27:48,126 Who are those even for? 412 00:27:48,210 --> 00:27:51,672 It's not like my vagina is on a diet, I'm on my fucking period. 413 00:27:53,340 --> 00:27:54,883 Oi, thanks for helping me. 414 00:27:54,967 --> 00:27:56,385 And I love your shoes! 415 00:27:56,468 --> 00:28:00,681 - Yeah. Thanks. Pay it forward. - Yeah. 416 00:28:07,771 --> 00:28:09,398 Sorry. Excuse me. 417 00:28:11,775 --> 00:28:12,776 Hi. 418 00:28:14,778 --> 00:28:15,779 Boy, you're tall. 419 00:28:16,613 --> 00:28:18,282 Is your dad a tree or something? 420 00:28:19,116 --> 00:28:20,284 No, I'm screwing around. 421 00:28:21,618 --> 00:28:23,787 Hey, speaking of trees, who are y'all rooting for today? 422 00:28:23,871 --> 00:28:24,913 West Ham. 423 00:28:25,414 --> 00:28:27,249 Yeah, no, that makes sense. Yeah. 424 00:28:33,338 --> 00:28:36,300 Go ahead. Yeah. Going down one more floor. 425 00:28:36,383 --> 00:28:38,552 - Thank you. - Yeah, of course. 426 00:28:39,928 --> 00:28:41,096 Best of luck out there. 427 00:28:57,571 --> 00:28:59,156 Hey, Nate. That you? 428 00:29:01,366 --> 00:29:02,784 Hi. I didn't see you there. 429 00:29:02,868 --> 00:29:05,954 - That's okay. How you been, man? - Yeah, okay. 430 00:29:06,455 --> 00:29:08,457 Yeah. Good. 431 00:29:14,296 --> 00:29:15,297 Listen, Ted. 432 00:29:16,298 --> 00:29:19,676 I just wanna say that the way I left… 433 00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:22,971 Nathan. There you are. 434 00:29:24,264 --> 00:29:25,265 Yeah. 435 00:29:31,939 --> 00:29:33,398 Hey, Rupert. 436 00:29:34,107 --> 00:29:36,485 - Ted. - Nice to see you again. 437 00:29:38,403 --> 00:29:39,446 Good luck. 438 00:29:44,117 --> 00:29:46,828 - Keeley? Yeah. - She's absolutely fantastic. 439 00:29:47,412 --> 00:29:48,412 Here she is now. 440 00:29:49,081 --> 00:29:52,584 - Hey. Yeah. - Keeley? This is Jack Danvers. 441 00:29:52,668 --> 00:29:53,794 Hello. 442 00:29:55,003 --> 00:29:57,130 I believe you have something of mine. 443 00:29:59,383 --> 00:30:01,677 Oh, fuck. You're Jack? 444 00:30:03,554 --> 00:30:05,055 This is a bit embarrassing. 445 00:30:05,138 --> 00:30:07,891 - No. - Yeah. We all thought you were a man. 446 00:30:07,975 --> 00:30:09,768 Yeah, that too. 447 00:30:10,394 --> 00:30:11,478 It's like that old riddle. 448 00:30:11,562 --> 00:30:13,939 - What riddle? - You know, always a tricky one, this one. 449 00:30:14,022 --> 00:30:15,566 A father and son are in a car wreck. 450 00:30:15,649 --> 00:30:19,403 Dad dies instantly, the son is rushed to an emergency room. 451 00:30:19,486 --> 00:30:21,446 A surgeon walks in and says, 452 00:30:21,530 --> 00:30:24,241 "I can't operate on this boy. He's my son." 453 00:30:24,324 --> 00:30:25,784 How is it possible? 454 00:30:26,702 --> 00:30:28,120 - Because she's a woman. - She's gay. 455 00:30:28,203 --> 00:30:30,163 - Sperm donor. - He lives in a simulation? 456 00:30:30,831 --> 00:30:33,709 Right. Yeah, I guess that's a bit dated now. 457 00:30:35,002 --> 00:30:37,588 So, I assume "Jack" is short for "Jacqueline," right? 458 00:30:37,671 --> 00:30:39,506 No. It's short for my father wanted a boy. 459 00:30:41,633 --> 00:30:45,721 I'm gonna go and sit down now, outside. Now. 460 00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:48,015 Jack, welcome. 461 00:30:48,098 --> 00:30:50,601 We are not allowed to take drinks to our seats. 462 00:30:50,684 --> 00:30:53,061 So if you want to get plastered, we should probably do that now. 463 00:30:53,562 --> 00:30:54,563 Okay. 464 00:30:55,856 --> 00:30:57,566 Well, after you. 465 00:31:00,777 --> 00:31:02,654 You're so funny, Rebecca. 466 00:31:05,157 --> 00:31:07,242 Barbara's obsessed with Rebecca. 467 00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:11,330 I hope she doesn't try and kill her and wear her skin as a suit. 468 00:31:15,918 --> 00:31:17,252 What the fuck? 469 00:31:17,336 --> 00:31:19,171 Cheers. It's gonna be a good day. 470 00:31:19,796 --> 00:31:21,757 - All right, Baz. - Oi! 471 00:31:22,925 --> 00:31:25,093 This is a Richmond pub. 472 00:31:26,178 --> 00:31:27,804 It's all right, Mae. He's with me. 473 00:31:32,643 --> 00:31:34,228 Get the fuck out! 474 00:31:39,525 --> 00:31:40,859 Come on, Richmond! 475 00:31:40,943 --> 00:31:43,612 Come on, Richmond! Come on, Richmond! 476 00:31:43,695 --> 00:31:45,447 It's a full house for today's battle 477 00:31:45,531 --> 00:31:49,451 between West Ham United and Zava's AFC Richmond. 478 00:31:49,535 --> 00:31:53,121 A win would take either team to the top spot in the table, 479 00:31:53,205 --> 00:31:56,250 knocking mighty Manchester City off number one. 480 00:31:56,792 --> 00:31:58,961 Should be a tight match, Chris. Any predictions? 481 00:31:59,044 --> 00:32:00,838 I stopped making predictions, Arlo. 482 00:32:00,921 --> 00:32:02,256 Because I was never wrong. 483 00:32:02,339 --> 00:32:05,592 Got to the point I was worried I was the one making things happen. 484 00:32:05,676 --> 00:32:07,010 Well, that's interesting. 485 00:32:07,094 --> 00:32:08,178 I knew you'd say that. 486 00:32:08,262 --> 00:32:10,681 They fade and die 487 00:32:10,764 --> 00:32:14,768 Fortune's always hiding 488 00:32:14,852 --> 00:32:18,522 I've looked everywhere 489 00:32:18,605 --> 00:32:22,442 I'm forever blowing bubbles 490 00:32:22,526 --> 00:32:26,405 Pretty bubbles in the air 491 00:32:26,488 --> 00:32:29,116 United! United! 492 00:32:29,199 --> 00:32:32,160 United! United! 493 00:32:32,244 --> 00:32:34,997 United! United! 494 00:32:36,373 --> 00:32:37,374 Nate. 495 00:32:39,293 --> 00:32:41,128 Let's have fun out there today, yeah? 496 00:33:06,695 --> 00:33:09,156 West Ham are quite happy to just soak up the pressure. 497 00:33:09,239 --> 00:33:12,659 Not taking any risks at all against Richmond, 498 00:33:12,743 --> 00:33:14,661 of all teams, at home. 499 00:33:15,412 --> 00:33:18,874 - A sign of how far Richmond have come. - It's all right. We're okay. 500 00:33:18,957 --> 00:33:20,459 What a threat Zava is. 501 00:33:20,542 --> 00:33:23,837 Richmond! To the right! Tight! Don't get scared. 502 00:33:28,175 --> 00:33:32,012 And it stays nil-nil, thanks to an amazing save by Zoreaux. 503 00:33:32,095 --> 00:33:34,223 - Van Damme. - Van Damme! 504 00:33:34,306 --> 00:33:36,183 I hear he wants to be called "Van Damme" now. 505 00:33:36,266 --> 00:33:37,169 Why? 506 00:33:37,184 --> 00:33:39,686 Well, we'd probably have to dive into his childhood for that answer. 507 00:33:40,938 --> 00:33:44,650 Richmond need the key pass to unlock the Hammers' defense. 508 00:33:44,733 --> 00:33:45,734 That could be the one. 509 00:33:47,402 --> 00:33:48,946 - Tartt hits the woodwork. - No! 510 00:33:49,029 --> 00:33:51,031 - That was close. - Zava was wide open. 511 00:33:54,284 --> 00:33:55,953 For Zava! 512 00:33:56,828 --> 00:34:00,791 There'll be two more minutes in the first half of this scoreless, 513 00:34:00,874 --> 00:34:02,918 but pulsating, London derby. 514 00:34:04,586 --> 00:34:07,464 - Obisanya caught in possession. - No. 515 00:34:07,548 --> 00:34:09,675 And here come West Ham on the break. 516 00:34:10,467 --> 00:34:12,386 Armando bearing down on goal. 517 00:34:14,471 --> 00:34:15,639 - Yeah! - Yes! 518 00:34:15,722 --> 00:34:18,266 And it's there. Right under Van Damme. 519 00:34:18,350 --> 00:34:21,228 The Canadian keeper apparently not as unstoppable 520 00:34:21,311 --> 00:34:23,105 as the Muscles from Brussels. 521 00:34:23,188 --> 00:34:25,983 That's not fair, Arlo. Nobody is. 522 00:34:26,065 --> 00:34:27,943 - We've been here before. Come on. - Come on, lads. 523 00:34:28,025 --> 00:34:31,487 The Hammers go up 1-nil just before halftime. 524 00:34:32,072 --> 00:34:34,032 Fuck it. 525 00:34:34,116 --> 00:34:37,077 All right, guys. Come on, now. Let's end this half strong! 526 00:34:38,328 --> 00:34:39,328 Huddle. 527 00:34:42,623 --> 00:34:43,958 What's this shit? 528 00:34:45,043 --> 00:34:46,128 I don't know. 529 00:34:46,210 --> 00:34:48,880 - Lower. Move it right. Five. - Brilliant. 530 00:34:48,964 --> 00:34:51,257 - Right now, come on. Five. - Ref, just blow the fucking whistle. 531 00:34:55,429 --> 00:34:56,554 West Ham pressing now. 532 00:34:56,638 --> 00:34:58,515 - No. - A new tactic from the Hammers 533 00:34:58,599 --> 00:35:00,642 in the closing seconds of the first half. 534 00:35:00,726 --> 00:35:02,561 It's never too late to change, Arlo. 535 00:35:04,938 --> 00:35:07,816 - No! - Fuck! Fuck you! Fuck! 536 00:35:07,900 --> 00:35:11,028 And it's 2-nil. Oh, deary me. 537 00:35:15,616 --> 00:35:16,617 Excuse me. 538 00:35:20,829 --> 00:35:22,206 How did that happen? 539 00:35:24,124 --> 00:35:25,542 We go to halftime. 540 00:35:25,626 --> 00:35:27,586 Richmond have dominated possession, 541 00:35:27,669 --> 00:35:31,757 but out of absolutely nowhere, it's 2-nil to the Hammers. 542 00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:33,634 We don't deserve that. 543 00:35:33,717 --> 00:35:35,135 What the fuck just happened? 544 00:35:35,636 --> 00:35:36,803 I don't know. 545 00:35:39,681 --> 00:35:41,475 Hey, fellas. I'll be right back. Okay? 546 00:35:41,558 --> 00:35:42,768 The fuck are you going? 547 00:35:42,851 --> 00:35:45,729 - I'll just be a minute or two, okay? - What do we tell the team? 548 00:35:45,812 --> 00:35:47,064 I don't know. Surprise me. 549 00:35:53,195 --> 00:35:55,489 Hey, boss. What you doing down here? 550 00:35:55,572 --> 00:35:58,659 I just wanted to tell you that I believe in you, Ted. 551 00:35:58,742 --> 00:35:59,826 Uh-huh? 552 00:35:59,910 --> 00:36:02,955 And I know that I've been putting an awful lot of pressure on you 553 00:36:03,038 --> 00:36:07,793 to win today, but I just want you to forget all about that. 554 00:36:07,876 --> 00:36:11,588 Just be yourself and have fun. 555 00:36:13,048 --> 00:36:14,049 - Okay. - Yeah. 556 00:36:14,132 --> 00:36:16,009 Okay. Well, thank you. 557 00:36:17,803 --> 00:36:19,555 I believe in you, Ted. 558 00:36:20,889 --> 00:36:21,890 And it's intense. 559 00:36:24,268 --> 00:36:26,395 - I better go. All right. - Off you pop. 560 00:36:28,897 --> 00:36:32,317 Remember, have fun! 561 00:36:34,403 --> 00:36:37,906 Yes! This is so exciting! 562 00:36:43,370 --> 00:36:44,413 No. 563 00:36:52,838 --> 00:36:54,173 This is your surprise, huh? 564 00:36:54,715 --> 00:36:57,885 A minute ago, they were catatonic. Now look at them. 565 00:36:59,761 --> 00:37:02,472 - They're killers. - Frankly, Ted, sometimes that's good. 566 00:37:18,989 --> 00:37:21,200 Oh, my. Richmond coming out of the tunnel 567 00:37:21,283 --> 00:37:23,452 with a palpable chip on their shoulder. 568 00:37:24,036 --> 00:37:28,207 Wow. A real tension on the pitch. I think we're in for an exciting half. 569 00:37:28,290 --> 00:37:31,335 We begin the second half with Richmond looking for a strong start. 570 00:37:31,418 --> 00:37:33,587 - Come on, boys. Fucking kill 'em. - Fucking kill 'em. 571 00:37:33,670 --> 00:37:34,963 - Here we go! - Kill! 572 00:37:38,258 --> 00:37:40,052 That's an awful tackle. 573 00:37:40,135 --> 00:37:41,845 - He would be fortunate to escape… - Oh, fuck. 574 00:37:41,929 --> 00:37:43,180 …with just a yellow. 575 00:37:43,263 --> 00:37:45,098 It's a deserved red, and Richmond 576 00:37:45,182 --> 00:37:48,393 will play almost the entire second half with ten men. 577 00:37:49,686 --> 00:37:51,730 He's actually a very sweet young man. 578 00:37:53,273 --> 00:37:54,942 Here come West Ham. 579 00:37:58,445 --> 00:38:00,197 And now Van Damme has been sent off. 580 00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:02,783 - We're playing like Italians. - I know. 581 00:38:03,534 --> 00:38:04,534 It's awesome. 582 00:38:07,329 --> 00:38:08,914 Oh, dear. 583 00:38:20,592 --> 00:38:22,845 It's getting a touch spicy out there. 584 00:38:22,928 --> 00:38:26,139 Spicy, Arlo? This is vintage vindaloo. 585 00:38:28,559 --> 00:38:29,559 No. 586 00:38:41,780 --> 00:38:45,784 Montlaur has lost his mind, and Richmond have lost a third player. 587 00:38:55,294 --> 00:38:57,004 Fucking come on. 588 00:38:57,588 --> 00:39:00,591 Richmond have completely lost the plot. 589 00:39:01,508 --> 00:39:05,137 Zava must be wondering what he's done to deserve this. 590 00:39:10,601 --> 00:39:11,602 Yes! 591 00:39:12,144 --> 00:39:14,104 And it's 4-1 to the Hammers. 592 00:39:14,188 --> 00:39:17,024 It went from evenly matched to unevenly matched 593 00:39:17,107 --> 00:39:21,069 to light a match on fire and put it into a can of petrol. 594 00:39:21,153 --> 00:39:23,488 That second half should've come with a trigger warning. 595 00:39:23,572 --> 00:39:27,826 One extraordinary goal by Zava did not make it any less tough to watch. 596 00:39:27,910 --> 00:39:31,496 Richmond showed a side of themselves we've never seen before. 597 00:39:31,580 --> 00:39:34,082 They played angry, dirty and ugly. 598 00:39:34,166 --> 00:39:37,127 Which are also the names of Zava's three youngest kids. 599 00:39:37,753 --> 00:39:39,213 Shit. 600 00:39:41,798 --> 00:39:42,799 Shit. 601 00:39:44,092 --> 00:39:45,135 Shit. 602 00:39:45,219 --> 00:39:47,262 - Hey, it's okay. - Shit. 603 00:39:52,059 --> 00:39:53,310 Did you guys have fun? 604 00:39:53,393 --> 00:39:54,394 Yeah. 605 00:39:54,478 --> 00:39:57,439 The violence was quite entertaining, wasn't it? In a way. 606 00:40:05,197 --> 00:40:07,324 Sending off Van Damme was a mistake. 607 00:40:08,033 --> 00:40:09,326 He played with passion. 608 00:40:10,536 --> 00:40:13,080 "Passion" is a word we use when we talk about love. 609 00:40:14,706 --> 00:40:17,960 It is also a word we use to describe a crime. 610 00:40:19,670 --> 00:40:21,213 Sometimes it is also a fruit. 611 00:40:25,759 --> 00:40:27,094 Oh, gosh. I'm so sorry. 612 00:40:48,782 --> 00:40:51,368 - We fucked up. - We overcorrected and played with hate. 613 00:40:54,162 --> 00:40:56,957 - Be great if you yelled at us a bit. - Please. 614 00:40:58,750 --> 00:41:01,170 - Call us pieces of shit or something. - Now. 615 00:41:02,671 --> 00:41:03,881 You can hit us. 616 00:41:03,964 --> 00:41:05,132 Get it over with. 617 00:41:06,967 --> 00:41:09,011 Tried something new. It didn't work. Big whoop. 618 00:41:11,388 --> 00:41:13,432 I will take that thumb drive one of y'all's got. 619 00:41:22,441 --> 00:41:25,319 Shake it off, fellas. Lot of football left this season. 620 00:41:29,323 --> 00:41:31,491 - What a fucking arsehole. - I know. 621 00:41:31,575 --> 00:41:34,453 You have to feel pretty good about yourself after that win, yeah? 622 00:41:34,536 --> 00:41:36,788 Well, yeah. Richmond were clearly rattled. 623 00:41:37,873 --> 00:41:39,833 It was easier than I expected, if I'm honest. 624 00:41:40,375 --> 00:41:41,376 What about Ted? 625 00:41:41,460 --> 00:41:44,254 Quite a snub not to shake his hand at the end of the game. 626 00:41:45,464 --> 00:41:48,842 Did I not? I didn't mean to. 627 00:41:48,926 --> 00:41:53,096 I… Guess I just got caught up in the excitement of it all. Yeah. 628 00:41:55,140 --> 00:41:56,183 Excuse me a minute. I just… 629 00:42:08,570 --> 00:42:11,323 Coach Shelley, Mr. Mannion asked me to give you this. 630 00:42:13,158 --> 00:42:14,701 He'll meet you there in an hour. 631 00:42:17,829 --> 00:42:18,829 Thank… 632 00:42:36,390 --> 00:42:39,017 - It's so good to see you, Rebecca. - You too, Bex. 633 00:42:39,101 --> 00:42:40,978 Oh, Rebecca, my dear. 634 00:42:41,061 --> 00:42:44,731 - So sorry for your loss. - Thank you. 635 00:42:44,815 --> 00:42:47,150 Come on, old man. It's way past your bedtime. 636 00:42:51,363 --> 00:42:52,364 Lovely to see you. 637 00:42:53,699 --> 00:42:55,284 I saw you with your assistant. 638 00:42:56,660 --> 00:42:58,912 Your daughter deserves better, and so does Bex. 639 00:42:59,997 --> 00:43:01,248 Stop fucking around. 640 00:43:10,007 --> 00:43:11,008 Here you go. 641 00:43:12,259 --> 00:43:15,012 We are normally a lot better than that. And nicer. 642 00:43:15,095 --> 00:43:19,808 Well, it's never great when your team gets more red cards than goals, is it? 643 00:43:19,892 --> 00:43:20,892 No. 644 00:43:22,227 --> 00:43:23,854 What a shit show. 645 00:43:25,856 --> 00:43:28,025 Anyway, good news. Bantr's trending. 646 00:43:28,108 --> 00:43:29,151 - It is? - Yeah. 647 00:43:29,234 --> 00:43:32,154 Pretty sure the change to the bio line helped. 648 00:43:32,696 --> 00:43:33,947 What are you talking about? 649 00:43:38,368 --> 00:43:39,620 Who did this? 650 00:43:39,703 --> 00:43:42,956 I did. This afternoon, when I uploaded the vids. 651 00:43:43,457 --> 00:43:44,833 You're welcome. 652 00:43:46,335 --> 00:43:47,628 - Shandy. - Yeah. 653 00:43:49,213 --> 00:43:53,634 This is the opposite of what Bantr is trying to do. 654 00:43:53,717 --> 00:43:55,969 Are you joking? They're gonna love it. 655 00:43:56,053 --> 00:43:58,555 I've literally tripled their subscribers in an hour. 656 00:43:59,848 --> 00:44:03,227 You need to change this back, now. Please. 657 00:44:04,394 --> 00:44:05,395 Yeah. 658 00:44:07,481 --> 00:44:09,441 It was really lovely to meet you. 659 00:44:10,192 --> 00:44:12,486 - You too. - Excuse me. 660 00:44:18,283 --> 00:44:20,869 Hey. Here he is! 661 00:44:21,995 --> 00:44:24,456 The Wonder Kid himself. 662 00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:28,919 The man of the hour! 663 00:44:29,670 --> 00:44:31,380 Thank you very much, Mr. Mannion. 664 00:44:31,964 --> 00:44:34,341 Please, no. "Rupert." 665 00:44:35,259 --> 00:44:36,510 Nathan. 666 00:44:37,511 --> 00:44:39,221 Thanks, Ms. Kakes. That's… 667 00:44:39,304 --> 00:44:43,642 And Nathan, allow me to introduce Anastasia. 668 00:44:45,185 --> 00:44:46,186 Huge fan. 669 00:44:49,439 --> 00:44:50,816 Oh, my God. You're famous. 670 00:44:50,899 --> 00:44:52,234 So are you. 671 00:44:57,990 --> 00:44:59,741 Congratulations to your victory. 672 00:45:00,701 --> 00:45:01,994 Yeah. Thank you. 673 00:45:10,544 --> 00:45:12,504 Come on, Tartt! One more before dinner! 674 00:45:15,382 --> 00:45:16,550 Let's go, Coach. 675 00:45:22,973 --> 00:45:24,516 That was hard to watch. 676 00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:28,437 Thierry, West Ham's domination today saw Ted Lasso being totally exposed 677 00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:30,522 by his former assistant Nate Shelley. 678 00:45:30,606 --> 00:45:33,942 Gary, I love this quote from a Chinese philosopher, Laozi, 679 00:45:34,026 --> 00:45:36,612 "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. 680 00:45:36,695 --> 00:45:40,157 When the student is truly ready, the teacher will disappear." 681 00:45:40,240 --> 00:45:41,241 The Greyhounds… 682 00:46:10,938 --> 00:46:12,022 - Hi, Ted. - Hey. 683 00:46:12,606 --> 00:46:13,649 Sorry about the match. 684 00:46:13,732 --> 00:46:16,151 No. That's all right. It was a tough one. 685 00:46:16,235 --> 00:46:18,320 Henry's not here right now. He's at a birthday party, 686 00:46:18,403 --> 00:46:19,404 - but I'll… - No, that's okay. 687 00:46:19,488 --> 00:46:22,991 I was actually hoping just to chat with you. You got a minute? 688 00:46:23,659 --> 00:46:25,744 Sure. Is everything okay? 689 00:46:25,827 --> 00:46:31,583 Yeah. Well… No. You know, I just… 690 00:46:33,001 --> 00:46:35,045 I wanted to say something real quick. 691 00:46:37,965 --> 00:46:38,966 Look, I… 692 00:46:39,716 --> 00:46:44,054 I know that you and I aren't, you know, together anymore. 693 00:46:44,596 --> 00:46:47,140 And I respect that. Okay? I do. 694 00:46:52,938 --> 00:46:55,649 But, Well, you know, 695 00:46:55,732 --> 00:46:59,152 this whole thing with you and Dr. Jacob really ticks me off. 696 00:47:01,029 --> 00:47:04,324 And I'm upset that we didn't ever really get to talk about it 697 00:47:04,408 --> 00:47:06,159 before it all started. 698 00:47:07,911 --> 00:47:08,912 Yeah. 699 00:47:08,996 --> 00:47:13,625 And look, I understand that me saying all this, 700 00:47:14,293 --> 00:47:17,129 might be the wrong thing to do, but… 701 00:47:19,339 --> 00:47:22,926 I just feel like not saying it… 702 00:47:26,346 --> 00:47:27,472 isn't the… 703 00:47:29,975 --> 00:47:31,602 Well, wouldn't be the right thing either. 704 00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:37,774 'Cause we gotta raise this little boy together, you know? 705 00:47:40,110 --> 00:47:42,571 We're stuck with each other. We're gonna share grandkids. 706 00:47:49,203 --> 00:47:50,787 I love you, Michelle. 707 00:47:53,624 --> 00:47:54,958 And I love Henry. 708 00:47:59,838 --> 00:48:01,548 And I love our family. 709 00:48:03,759 --> 00:48:05,177 No matter what it looks like. 710 00:48:12,184 --> 00:48:13,185 Okay? 711 00:48:16,230 --> 00:48:17,231 Of course. 712 00:48:21,818 --> 00:48:24,196 Well, I'll talk to y'all soon. 713 00:48:25,155 --> 00:48:27,741 Have a good night. Tell Henry I love him. 714 00:48:28,575 --> 00:48:29,618 Good night, Ted.