1 00:00:01,126 --> 00:00:03,462 Jeff, we just got this in. Do we have time to run this? 2 00:00:03,545 --> 00:00:05,506 - Stand by, camera one. - In four, three, two… 3 00:00:05,589 --> 00:00:07,424 - Yeah, got it. - All right, let's go then. 4 00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:11,553 Hello, and welcome to Soccer Saturday. 5 00:00:11,637 --> 00:00:14,181 I'm Jeff Stelling, here with George Cartrick 6 00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:15,265 and Clinton Morrison. 7 00:00:15,933 --> 00:00:18,769 Now, the hottest team in the country is clearly Richmond 8 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:25,275 on a ten-game winning streak on the back of some inspired play by Sam Obisanya. 9 00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:29,488 Jeff, you have to think Sam Obisanya will make his Nigeria debut, 10 00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:31,156 or the world's gone truly mad. 11 00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:33,617 But our top story: 12 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:36,954 the mysterious managerial vacancy at West Ham United. 13 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:41,375 The club has suddenly parted ways with the Wonder Kid, Nathan Shelley. 14 00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:43,669 It's a shocker, Jeff. They were having a great season. 15 00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:47,714 Yeah, but look, Nate Shelley isn't the reason West Ham are in second place. 16 00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:50,634 I mean, "Wonder Kid"? Come on. 17 00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:53,303 He was my kit man, for God's sake. 18 00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:56,640 No, Rupert Mannion is the brains behind this whole operation. 19 00:00:57,766 --> 00:01:00,811 Okay. Let's turn our attention to the international break. 20 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:03,146 National squad announcements are trickling in. 21 00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:06,525 Which players will get the honor of representing their country? 22 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:11,947 All right, fellas, great play out there today. 23 00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:14,783 Congratulations on yet another victorious outcome! 24 00:01:17,619 --> 00:01:18,620 That's right. 25 00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:21,039 Hey, quick reminder. 26 00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:23,667 Because of the break in our schedule due to international play, 27 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:26,003 there is no game next week, all right? 28 00:01:28,172 --> 00:01:30,299 All right. Hey, look, kind of hurts my feelings 29 00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:33,051 y'all don't want to spend next weekend with me, if I'm being honest. 30 00:01:33,135 --> 00:01:35,804 But I am the strong silent type, so I ain't gonna let you know. 31 00:01:35,888 --> 00:01:38,682 But I'm also loud and weak, because I, like all humans, 32 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,309 contain multitudes. Am I right? 33 00:01:41,143 --> 00:01:42,436 Great speech. 34 00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:45,606 Anyhoo, we want to say good night and good luck to the fellas on our squad 35 00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:48,358 that have been chosen to represent their home country next week. 36 00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:49,943 Coach, who we talking about? 37 00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:54,364 Just up the way at Wembley, making his debut for England, Jamie Tartt! 38 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:57,200 Go! 39 00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:04,791 Taking the plane to Toronto to play goal for Canada, Van Damme! 40 00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:06,210 He's got a plane ticket. 41 00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:10,005 Who will be going up against Mexico and Dani Rojas! 42 00:02:14,510 --> 00:02:15,511 Oh, boy. 43 00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:18,388 Bumbercatch holding it down for Switzerland. 44 00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:20,390 My guy! 45 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:23,852 - Wait, hold on. Bumbercatch, you're Swiss? - Yeah. Look at me. 46 00:02:23,936 --> 00:02:25,395 No, you're right. Yeah. All right. 47 00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:29,149 - And repping Wales, Colin Hughes! - Hey, there he is. 48 00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:31,193 Let's go, boyo. 49 00:02:34,905 --> 00:02:35,906 Is that it? 50 00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:37,658 And that's it. 51 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:46,500 Okay. All right, well, let's go ahead and wish our friends safe travels 52 00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:47,835 and Godspeed, 53 00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:51,255 or whatever narcotic your deity chooses to self-medicate with. 54 00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:53,131 Rest of y'all, see ya on Monday. 55 00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:06,270 Oi, 24. 56 00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:07,813 They fucked you, man. I'm sorry. 57 00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:09,675 It's okay. 58 00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,525 Hey, congrats to you though. 59 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,362 Listen. You good, yeah? 60 00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:16,822 Yeah. Of course. 61 00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:26,707 Hey, yo. Congrats, bro. 62 00:03:30,169 --> 00:03:31,253 I am not your bro. 63 00:03:32,421 --> 00:03:35,841 We are now enemies, and soon, you will be my bitch. 64 00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:45,309 What the f… 65 00:04:07,456 --> 00:04:09,625 So you're telling me it only shows up once a month? 66 00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:13,170 - And it never skips a month? - Only if you're pregnant. 67 00:04:14,046 --> 00:04:16,507 Well, shoot. I got to check out this wine delivery service. 68 00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,132 Sounds like a real corker. Yes. 69 00:04:19,051 --> 00:04:20,052 Did you hear about Nathan? 70 00:04:20,135 --> 00:04:22,179 - I did. - What do we think happened there? 71 00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:26,225 Well, boss, I'm like an incomplete list of Madeline Kahn's best films: 72 00:04:26,308 --> 00:04:27,309 I ain't got no clue. 73 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,978 And it ain't really none of my business anyhow. 74 00:04:30,062 --> 00:04:32,981 Ted, look, I mean this in the nicest way possible, 75 00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:35,234 but you suck at girl talk. 76 00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:37,027 I know. I just don't like gossip. 77 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:40,989 It's not gossip, Ted. It's speculation. 78 00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:44,493 I've actually been hearing rumblings of inappropriate workplace behavior 79 00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:47,496 - over at West Ham. - See? Excellent girl talk. 80 00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:51,458 So, chaps, what do we think? 81 00:04:52,376 --> 00:04:55,254 Is Nathan capable of being involved in something like that? 82 00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:58,090 - No. - Nah. 83 00:04:58,173 --> 00:04:59,758 - Good morning. - Hello, Leslie. 84 00:04:59,842 --> 00:05:02,803 So, I heard some interesting scuttlebutt last night. 85 00:05:03,554 --> 00:05:06,014 I don't like gossip, but my butt don't mind a little scuttle. 86 00:05:06,098 --> 00:05:07,474 Go on, Leslie. 87 00:05:07,558 --> 00:05:09,810 Edwin Akufo's back in town. 88 00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:11,311 What now? 89 00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:12,646 Apparently, he's sniffing around 90 00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:15,732 about trying to create a Super League of some sort. 91 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:16,942 Where did you hear this? 92 00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:19,611 Well, Rebecca, I am the director of Football Operations. 93 00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:23,532 And a bunch of us DFOs have a little jazz jam band 94 00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:26,743 we call "The Directors of Beboperations." 95 00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:29,079 Akufo came up at rehearsal. 96 00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:31,957 This is not good. 97 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:35,961 I'm sorry. Why is it so bad that a billionaire wants to put together 98 00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:37,546 a bunch of superheroes to fight crime? 99 00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:39,965 Ted, you're thinking of the Justice League. 100 00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:41,425 God, dang it. Yeah, I am. 101 00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:44,761 Super League is when the world's biggest and wealthiest teams 102 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:46,096 decide to compete against each other. 103 00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:49,766 So, not only would David never get to face Goliath, 104 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:52,811 the Davids could cease to exist altogether. 105 00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:54,396 Wow. 106 00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,899 You know, I wouldn't be surprised if Rupert was involved in this. 107 00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:01,612 Speak of the devil. 108 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:13,498 - It was Rupert. - Yes. 109 00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:15,834 Sorry. Okay. I thought it was the actual devil for a second. 110 00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:16,919 - Oh, yeah. - Yeah. 111 00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:29,640 Are you alive? 112 00:06:30,224 --> 00:06:31,892 Unfortunately, yeah. 113 00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:35,145 You're okay. 114 00:06:38,524 --> 00:06:39,525 Am I an idiot? 115 00:06:39,608 --> 00:06:41,151 Sometimes, yes. 116 00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:44,905 No, I meant for quitting my job. 117 00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,825 Do you wish you hadn't? 118 00:06:51,495 --> 00:06:52,663 Then there's your answer. 119 00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,294 I just don't know what I'm gonna do. 120 00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:01,255 Do you need me to stay? 121 00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:06,009 No. No, that's… No, I'm okay. 122 00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:09,680 Do you want to come to Poland with me? 123 00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:12,933 You can help me and my family screw in light bulbs. 124 00:07:14,017 --> 00:07:15,978 - That's very funny. - Why is it funny? 125 00:07:18,981 --> 00:07:20,732 I don't know. Sorry. I… No. 126 00:07:25,529 --> 00:07:27,948 - I'll see you in a few days. - Thank you. 127 00:07:55,893 --> 00:07:57,436 Can you tell us about Coach Shelley? 128 00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:02,149 Hey, Nate! Nate! 129 00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:18,123 - Hi. - Sorry. 130 00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:19,333 - It's all right. - Thanks. 131 00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:22,794 Shit. 132 00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:35,640 Keeley, you are the nicest boss I've ever had. 133 00:08:36,265 --> 00:08:37,267 Thank you, Dan. 134 00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:40,102 And definitely the hottest. 135 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,438 That's a complicated compliment. 136 00:08:43,774 --> 00:08:44,775 Thank you. 137 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:45,859 Yeah. 138 00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:52,074 Barbara, what's going on? Are we being slowly robbed? 139 00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:56,119 Wait. I'm sorry. You haven't spoken with Jack? 140 00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:58,163 I haven't heard from Jack in weeks. 141 00:08:58,247 --> 00:09:03,377 But she emailed me last night to say that she was gonna reach out and tell you. 142 00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,045 Tell me what, Barbara? 143 00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:14,555 The board of the VC have decided to pull funding. 144 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,767 They're shutting down KJPR. 145 00:09:20,978 --> 00:09:21,979 What? 146 00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:24,675 When? 147 00:09:24,690 --> 00:09:27,276 Oh, well, don't worry, we've got plenty of time. 148 00:09:27,359 --> 00:09:30,320 - We don't have to be out till Friday. - It's Wednesday. 149 00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:34,366 Yeah. I suppose that is quite soon, isn't it? 150 00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:37,369 Especially if you didn't get the email last night. 151 00:10:06,732 --> 00:10:10,402 I mean, if he doesn't want to coach West Ham for millions, I'll bloody do it. 152 00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:14,406 What a wanker. 153 00:10:30,172 --> 00:10:32,925 Pineapple juice or apple juice? 154 00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:39,431 Hi. 155 00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:42,601 Hey, Dani! 156 00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:46,271 Dani, what's up, man? 157 00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:48,774 He's my teammate. 158 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:57,074 Dani, you want some chips? 159 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,896 Boy, oh, boy. 160 00:11:27,980 --> 00:11:31,191 Tell you what, Sam had himself a case of the mean reds out there today, yeah? 161 00:11:31,275 --> 00:11:32,734 I don't fucking blame him. 162 00:11:32,818 --> 00:11:35,237 It's hard to see the ball when your eyes are full of tears. 163 00:11:36,989 --> 00:11:38,031 Hey, Sam! 164 00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:40,993 Hey, look, I know this week ain't been easy on ya. 165 00:11:41,076 --> 00:11:44,162 But don't forget, even the great Michael Jordan himself 166 00:11:44,246 --> 00:11:46,164 didn't make his high school varsity basketball team. 167 00:11:46,248 --> 00:11:47,332 - Yeah? - Yes, Coach. 168 00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:50,878 But wasn't that because he was only a 5'10" sophomore 169 00:11:50,961 --> 00:11:53,755 and the team was in need of height, so they sent him to the junior varsity 170 00:11:53,839 --> 00:11:55,424 with the hope that he would develop physically? 171 00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:57,843 Which he did, growing 5 inches the very next summer. 172 00:11:58,552 --> 00:11:59,928 I mean, if you know all the details, 173 00:12:00,012 --> 00:12:01,847 it does render the story a little less motivational, 174 00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:03,432 but my point still stands. 175 00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:05,017 Keep your head up. Be a goldfish. 176 00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:06,685 - All right? - Okay. 177 00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:12,482 Boom! 178 00:12:13,108 --> 00:12:16,361 Tonight, me and Jane have reserved an axe-throwing lane at Hatchet and Rye. 179 00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:18,697 You fellas care to join the festivities? 180 00:12:19,281 --> 00:12:22,284 That sounds equal parts fun and dangerous. What are y'all celebrating? 181 00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:25,245 Karma's speedy delivery of a shit sandwich to the Wonder Turd. 182 00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:27,039 Here, Jane made targets. 183 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,963 Don't you feel it's bad karma to celebrate someone else's bad karma? 184 00:12:35,047 --> 00:12:36,882 No. You in? 185 00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:40,177 I'd love to, but I've got a thing. 186 00:12:43,639 --> 00:12:44,806 Here we go. 187 00:12:44,890 --> 00:12:45,974 Hey, Janey baby! 188 00:12:46,475 --> 00:12:50,521 Yeah, we're all set. Could you remember to bring my throwing axe, please? 189 00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:53,607 No, not that one. The one with the leather sleeve. 190 00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:55,150 You know what? Just bring 'em all. 191 00:12:57,569 --> 00:12:58,570 Yeah, we are. 192 00:12:58,654 --> 00:12:59,988 Okay. Love you too. 193 00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:03,784 How many axes you got now? 194 00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:05,911 Seventeen. But they're not all for throwing. 195 00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:08,580 Right. But they're all here in the UK? 196 00:13:08,664 --> 00:13:11,458 Oh, yeah. Couldn't imagine being in a different country than my axes. 197 00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:14,336 She's gonna have trouble carrying that. 198 00:13:21,593 --> 00:13:23,720 - Hey, Sam. - Hey. 199 00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:28,934 I'm so sorry about the national team. 200 00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:33,146 Well, you know. I guess I could have worked harder. 201 00:13:34,398 --> 00:13:36,775 Well, I think you're wonderful. 202 00:13:38,694 --> 00:13:40,112 Thank you, Rebecca. 203 00:13:45,117 --> 00:13:46,326 - See you. - Yeah. 204 00:13:56,211 --> 00:13:57,212 Hello, Rebecca. 205 00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:00,132 Where's the Hockney I gave you? 206 00:14:01,175 --> 00:14:03,927 Got rid of it. Sorry. W… How did you get past security? 207 00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:05,846 My old mate, Renee. 208 00:14:06,638 --> 00:14:08,265 The creepy old man that lives in the sewers? 209 00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:09,808 Oh, Rebecca, that's rude. 210 00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:11,852 He only works in the sewer. 211 00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:14,855 Right. Well, maybe next time you could make an appointment. 212 00:14:17,191 --> 00:14:18,233 Of course. 213 00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:21,528 So, what do you want? 214 00:14:21,612 --> 00:14:25,115 To invite you to this meeting for the Akufo League. 215 00:14:26,742 --> 00:14:27,743 Why? 216 00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:31,163 I've wanted to extend an olive branch. 217 00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:33,749 And I think it's important that you're part of this. 218 00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:36,793 Could be great for the game. 219 00:14:37,669 --> 00:14:40,088 Well, I will give it some thought. 220 00:14:40,672 --> 00:14:41,882 Good. 221 00:14:42,466 --> 00:14:47,888 Sneaking in here today reminded me of the first match I ever saw at Nelson Road. 222 00:14:48,472 --> 00:14:49,890 When they used to play by candlelight. 223 00:14:52,309 --> 00:14:54,228 I look forward to hearing from you. 224 00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,025 What happened with Nathan Shelley? 225 00:15:03,487 --> 00:15:06,031 Some people just aren't ready when they get their shot. 226 00:15:16,834 --> 00:15:19,002 Happy Uncle Day! 227 00:15:21,338 --> 00:15:23,924 - You know it's not a real holiday, right? - Yes, it is. 228 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:25,369 Right, Mummy? 229 00:15:25,384 --> 00:15:28,136 Any day that annoys Roy, holiday for me. 230 00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:31,473 I'll get it. 231 00:15:33,559 --> 00:15:36,436 Phoe told me that Uncle's Day is her favorite holiday of the year. 232 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:37,855 - Fuck off. - Yeah, seriously. 233 00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:42,109 It was Uncle's Day, Uncle Roy's birthday, and then Perchtenlaufen, 234 00:15:42,192 --> 00:15:44,778 the German holiday where people dress up as evil spirits 235 00:15:44,862 --> 00:15:48,657 and roam the streets in order to scare winter away. 236 00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:52,119 She might be an old soul, but she's a proper fucking dweeb, isn't she? 237 00:15:52,202 --> 00:15:53,620 Is that your Range Rover outside? 238 00:15:53,704 --> 00:15:56,081 - No, it's my mum's. - Oh, right, all right. 239 00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:57,624 Hey, how you doing? You all right? 240 00:15:57,708 --> 00:15:59,877 - Sorry I'm late. - It's okay. 241 00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:02,379 You can just sit down next to Uncle Roy. 242 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:03,462 Hello, Uncle Roy. 243 00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:05,132 What the fuck is he doing here? 244 00:16:05,883 --> 00:16:07,718 I had to invite your best friend. 245 00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:09,595 - He's not my best friend. - He isn't my best friend. 246 00:16:10,387 --> 00:16:15,559 Well, you talk about him a lot, and you spend every day together. 247 00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:16,894 Well, he's not. 248 00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:19,521 So, who's your best friend, Jamie? 249 00:16:20,105 --> 00:16:21,008 Probably Isaac. 250 00:16:21,023 --> 00:16:23,108 - Fuck off. - He is. 251 00:16:23,192 --> 00:16:26,111 - That's a pound, Uncle Roy. - Bill me. 252 00:16:26,737 --> 00:16:29,114 Okay. Now, open Jamie's gift. 253 00:16:29,907 --> 00:16:33,076 It's stupid. It's dumb. I don't know. 254 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:34,161 Here. 255 00:16:37,581 --> 00:16:40,501 It's your original England kit from the 2014 World Cup. 256 00:16:42,377 --> 00:16:44,004 Your name's on the back there. 257 00:16:48,592 --> 00:16:50,719 I got 'em to change the E to a U. 258 00:17:00,437 --> 00:17:01,772 I love it. 259 00:17:08,737 --> 00:17:10,614 Yeah. You owe me a pound, Jamie. 260 00:17:11,323 --> 00:17:12,532 But I didn't say nothing. 261 00:17:12,616 --> 00:17:17,037 No, but you made me think it, and that's basically the same thing. 262 00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,083 Yeah, fair play. 263 00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:23,292 Okay, my turn. 264 00:17:23,961 --> 00:17:24,962 All right. 265 00:17:25,462 --> 00:17:26,713 Who's that? 266 00:17:27,923 --> 00:17:28,924 Good wrapping, that. 267 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,055 I made it at school. 268 00:17:35,639 --> 00:17:39,935 The colors spell your name. Red, orange, yellow. Roy. 269 00:17:41,937 --> 00:17:45,232 She's been very excited to give it to you. 270 00:17:45,315 --> 00:17:46,358 What do you think? 271 00:17:47,526 --> 00:17:49,319 Well, I mean, I fucking love it. 272 00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:52,447 It was worth it. 273 00:18:00,038 --> 00:18:01,248 Thank you. 274 00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:06,795 Okay. Mum and I are going to put our costumes on for the performance. 275 00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:10,424 Heads-up, team. There is an intermission. 276 00:18:17,264 --> 00:18:20,058 - Your sister is fit. - I will cut your eyes out. 277 00:18:33,197 --> 00:18:35,449 Simi, what's going on? I thought we were fully booked. 278 00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:37,034 All the reservations bailed. 279 00:18:37,618 --> 00:18:39,077 Well, except one. 280 00:18:40,829 --> 00:18:43,457 Hey, you. Look who it is. 281 00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:45,501 It is Pinky Dick. 282 00:18:47,461 --> 00:18:48,462 Sorry. I mean Sam. 283 00:18:49,296 --> 00:18:50,839 Of course you remember Francis. 284 00:18:51,715 --> 00:18:54,134 Charles, this is Pinky Dick. 285 00:18:54,218 --> 00:18:55,594 I mean Sam. 286 00:18:55,677 --> 00:18:58,472 Pinky-Dick-I-mean-Sam, this is Charles Siziba, 287 00:18:58,555 --> 00:19:01,391 - food blogger for The Times. - It is nice to meet you. 288 00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:04,311 Edwin has told me awful things about you. 289 00:19:05,646 --> 00:19:08,941 Charles is helping me find the best West African chef in London 290 00:19:09,441 --> 00:19:14,404 because I'm starting my own Nigerian restaurant but 20 meters from here. 291 00:19:14,488 --> 00:19:15,781 You're doing what? 292 00:19:16,281 --> 00:19:19,117 We are going to serve the finest Nigerian cuisine, 293 00:19:19,201 --> 00:19:23,247 along with Chicago-style hot dogs, because it's my favorite food. 294 00:19:24,456 --> 00:19:26,875 Oh, Sam. I mean Pinky Dick. 295 00:19:27,376 --> 00:19:30,629 Mr. Akufo found a tiny piece of glass in his food. 296 00:19:30,712 --> 00:19:32,798 I assume our meal will be complimentary? 297 00:19:33,549 --> 00:19:35,384 Yeah, sure. Whatever. 298 00:19:35,467 --> 00:19:36,468 Good man. 299 00:19:37,594 --> 00:19:42,766 It is nice to put a name to such an ugly, horrible face. 300 00:19:47,771 --> 00:19:50,524 I'm so sorry to see that business is not going well. 301 00:19:50,607 --> 00:19:52,442 No. Actually, we were fully booked. 302 00:19:52,526 --> 00:19:54,069 We just had a few last-second cancellations. 303 00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:57,114 That's because all the reservations were me. 304 00:19:58,156 --> 00:20:00,784 Hello. Ola's Chop Life? 305 00:20:00,868 --> 00:20:03,954 Can I make a reservation for eight for Wiafe. 306 00:20:04,454 --> 00:20:07,040 David Ettlemen, party of six. 307 00:20:07,124 --> 00:20:09,418 Starkey, party of four. Fab four. 308 00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:13,255 Table for 12, please. Last name Picard. 309 00:20:13,338 --> 00:20:17,718 And please, bring out all of your finest African cheeses. 310 00:20:21,597 --> 00:20:23,807 - Good to see you, Edwin. - Isn't it? 311 00:20:30,689 --> 00:20:35,694 Yes, I was so sad to hear that you were not selected for Nigeria's national team. 312 00:20:36,612 --> 00:20:40,115 But I was happy to hear that the Nigerian government was pleased 313 00:20:40,199 --> 00:20:45,787 to accept a free $20 million check from me to keep you off the team. 314 00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:51,793 I will never stop, you Nigerian turd. 315 00:20:52,669 --> 00:20:55,881 Never ever. 316 00:20:57,049 --> 00:20:59,760 No, never. 317 00:21:15,734 --> 00:21:17,069 Please don't do this, Francis. 318 00:21:56,817 --> 00:21:59,444 - Stop right there. - Sorry. 319 00:21:59,528 --> 00:22:01,321 - What's the emergency? - Nathan? 320 00:22:01,405 --> 00:22:02,406 Yeah. 321 00:22:02,489 --> 00:22:04,950 Never mind, Officer. My son is home. 322 00:22:07,619 --> 00:22:08,871 You moved the key. 323 00:22:08,954 --> 00:22:10,080 Jesus Christ. 324 00:22:11,957 --> 00:22:13,041 Hey, Mum. 325 00:22:15,377 --> 00:22:16,753 Do you want anything to eat, dear? 326 00:22:16,837 --> 00:22:19,673 No, thank you. I just wanna sleep actually. 327 00:22:25,012 --> 00:22:26,805 Well, if you're cooking, I could eat something. 328 00:22:26,889 --> 00:22:28,182 Lloyd, stop. 329 00:22:28,265 --> 00:22:29,266 What? 330 00:23:03,133 --> 00:23:04,133 Leslie? 331 00:23:05,677 --> 00:23:09,181 - Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. - It's okay. It's not too bad. 332 00:23:10,807 --> 00:23:11,808 Damn. 333 00:23:15,521 --> 00:23:16,522 How can I help, Rebecca? 334 00:23:17,439 --> 00:23:18,732 I just need some advice. 335 00:23:20,025 --> 00:23:21,777 - Keeley didn't text you back? - She did not. 336 00:23:21,860 --> 00:23:23,237 - Ted? - Can't find him. 337 00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:25,405 - Sassy? - On a plane with no Wi-Fi. 338 00:23:25,489 --> 00:23:27,449 - Can you imagine that? - Disgusting. 339 00:23:27,533 --> 00:23:29,535 - How about your mother? - Are you fucking with me? 340 00:23:30,118 --> 00:23:32,871 I am flattered. Okay, let's do this shit. 341 00:23:36,708 --> 00:23:38,710 I don't want to be part of the Akufo League. 342 00:23:39,294 --> 00:23:41,588 Why? Because he's an emotionally erratic billionaire 343 00:23:41,672 --> 00:23:43,757 with the temperament of one of those kids in Willy Wonka 344 00:23:43,841 --> 00:23:45,676 that gets murdered at the chocolate factory? 345 00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:48,178 I don't think that's what happens, Leslie. 346 00:23:49,012 --> 00:23:52,683 I hate to break it to you, Rebecca, but those children are dead. 347 00:23:54,476 --> 00:23:57,229 I think the only reason Rupert has invited me in 348 00:23:57,312 --> 00:24:00,232 is because I'm a woman and it'll make them look good. 349 00:24:01,733 --> 00:24:03,735 Who cares why Rupert invited you? 350 00:24:03,819 --> 00:24:05,404 You've got a seat at the table. 351 00:24:06,238 --> 00:24:07,739 So go and see what's what. 352 00:24:14,872 --> 00:24:16,164 Thank you, Leslie. 353 00:24:17,624 --> 00:24:21,253 And if any of the other people start disappearing one by one 354 00:24:21,336 --> 00:24:25,549 due to a series of unfortunate accidents seemingly caused by their own hubris, 355 00:24:25,632 --> 00:24:27,509 you get the hell out of there. Do you hear me? 356 00:25:07,508 --> 00:25:09,134 Everything all right, dear? 357 00:25:09,218 --> 00:25:10,844 Everything? Fuck no. 358 00:25:12,221 --> 00:25:15,098 What is it called when you have the opposite of the Midas touch? 359 00:25:15,766 --> 00:25:18,393 - The Midas shits. - That's it. That's what I have. 360 00:25:18,936 --> 00:25:20,270 Everything I touch turns to shit. 361 00:25:21,855 --> 00:25:23,774 Shit helps things grow, love. 362 00:25:25,192 --> 00:25:26,610 Oy, I'm Keeley. What's your name? 363 00:25:29,988 --> 00:25:32,491 - Mae. - Mae? I wasn't expecting that. 364 00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:34,284 That's a really nice name. 365 00:25:35,118 --> 00:25:36,954 - Short for anything? - Maybe. 366 00:25:37,037 --> 00:25:38,705 And is this your place, Maybe? 367 00:25:40,374 --> 00:25:41,834 Little over 40 years. 368 00:25:42,501 --> 00:25:44,878 Wow, that's impressive. 369 00:25:46,463 --> 00:25:48,507 It's hard though, right? Being a boss? 370 00:25:49,550 --> 00:25:50,634 It has its moments. 371 00:25:52,553 --> 00:25:54,763 But for some, it's better to follow your gut 372 00:25:55,556 --> 00:25:58,475 than pretend to be excited by following someone else's. 373 00:26:01,937 --> 00:26:04,273 What would you do if someone took it all away from you? 374 00:26:06,650 --> 00:26:07,651 Like the man once said, 375 00:26:08,527 --> 00:26:10,612 "Once you make it to the top of the mountain, 376 00:26:10,696 --> 00:26:13,365 what's left for you but lightning?" 377 00:26:18,328 --> 00:26:23,041 Wait, is the lightning a good thing or a bad thing? 378 00:26:25,794 --> 00:26:28,255 Depends whether you're ready for it or not. 379 00:26:30,757 --> 00:26:33,135 Now, I'm gonna get you some food. 380 00:26:34,386 --> 00:26:38,098 'Cause I can't have another sad, skinny girl pass out in my pub. 381 00:26:38,724 --> 00:26:40,184 Fucks me Yelp rating. 382 00:27:35,656 --> 00:27:36,698 Bocce balls. 383 00:27:42,913 --> 00:27:44,122 Ted! 384 00:27:44,206 --> 00:27:46,124 Ted! Ted! 385 00:27:53,966 --> 00:27:54,967 Hey. 386 00:28:22,202 --> 00:28:23,203 Ye… 387 00:28:41,096 --> 00:28:44,141 You know, Lanny, when Mexico comes up here in our kitchen, 388 00:28:44,224 --> 00:28:45,809 the record books go right out the window. 389 00:28:45,893 --> 00:28:47,060 Well, for sure, Bruce. 390 00:28:47,144 --> 00:28:49,605 It's a tough game, but there's a begrudging mutual respect 391 00:28:49,688 --> 00:28:50,688 between the two teams, hey? 392 00:28:51,190 --> 00:28:55,611 - They go together like nachos and poutine. - Now you've made me hungry. Oh, no. 393 00:28:57,196 --> 00:28:59,323 - Mexico gains possession. - Here we go! 394 00:28:59,406 --> 00:29:02,868 Dani Rojas is on the loose, face-to-face with Van Damme. And… 395 00:29:04,995 --> 00:29:07,873 Oh, no! Right in the nose. 396 00:29:07,956 --> 00:29:10,375 Straight in the sniffer. That almost seemed deliberate. 397 00:29:10,459 --> 00:29:11,668 Dani kicked the crap out of it too. 398 00:29:11,752 --> 00:29:14,546 For sure, Bruce. He's a different fella in a Mexico shirt. 399 00:29:14,630 --> 00:29:17,007 That's a lot of blood, for gosh sakes. 400 00:29:17,090 --> 00:29:18,717 I apologize for the language there, folks. 401 00:30:09,309 --> 00:30:10,310 Hey. 402 00:30:11,645 --> 00:30:12,646 Twins. 403 00:30:13,814 --> 00:30:15,649 Fuck's sake. 404 00:32:21,608 --> 00:32:23,652 All right, go on in. 405 00:32:27,030 --> 00:32:29,366 - Have a nice day, Uncle Roy. - You too. 406 00:32:29,449 --> 00:32:30,449 You look nice. 407 00:32:31,326 --> 00:32:32,870 - Sure. - Bye! 408 00:32:38,750 --> 00:32:39,960 It's Coach Kent. 409 00:32:43,630 --> 00:32:45,632 - Hello, Ms. Bowen. - You don't have to call me Ms. Bowen. 410 00:32:45,716 --> 00:32:47,718 - You can use my first name. - Okay… 411 00:32:49,178 --> 00:32:50,387 You don't know it, do you? 412 00:32:51,805 --> 00:32:52,890 No. 413 00:32:52,973 --> 00:32:55,267 - Leann. - Hello, Leann. 414 00:32:55,350 --> 00:32:56,476 I like your T-shirt. 415 00:32:57,394 --> 00:32:58,812 You off to protest the Vietnam War? 416 00:33:00,772 --> 00:33:02,024 Phoebe made it for me. 417 00:33:05,027 --> 00:33:07,321 - You look different. - Well, yeah. 418 00:33:07,404 --> 00:33:10,032 I don't normally dress like a fucking clown. 419 00:33:10,115 --> 00:33:11,742 No, I don't mean the T-shirt. I mean you. 420 00:33:11,825 --> 00:33:14,161 You seem lighter than the last time I saw you. 421 00:33:14,244 --> 00:33:17,664 Less… stuck. 422 00:33:18,248 --> 00:33:20,542 - Stuck? - Yeah, stuck. 423 00:33:21,919 --> 00:33:22,961 Hold on. 424 00:33:24,338 --> 00:33:27,508 Weren't you flirting with me last time I saw you? 425 00:33:29,343 --> 00:33:31,261 I teach kids. I don't mind cleaning up a mess. 426 00:33:33,347 --> 00:33:35,849 I just hope that mess didn't cause too much damage. 427 00:33:47,277 --> 00:33:50,030 Fudge. 428 00:33:53,909 --> 00:33:55,494 - It's good to see you. - Yeah, you too. 429 00:34:01,875 --> 00:34:03,585 "I don't mind cleaning up a mess." 430 00:34:04,086 --> 00:34:05,295 Smooth move, fuckwitch. 431 00:34:07,130 --> 00:34:08,590 All right, kids, let's go! 432 00:34:13,178 --> 00:34:14,346 Hi, Barbara. 433 00:34:14,429 --> 00:34:15,681 That's a nice outfit. 434 00:34:16,181 --> 00:34:19,101 Thank you. Yes. I like clothes that tell the truth. 435 00:34:22,771 --> 00:34:24,022 I got you something. 436 00:34:34,741 --> 00:34:36,368 Thank you for all your help. 437 00:34:41,248 --> 00:34:43,458 I really wish that we could have worked together longer. 438 00:34:43,542 --> 00:34:44,543 You're fun. 439 00:34:45,878 --> 00:34:47,504 - I am? - Yeah. 440 00:34:51,675 --> 00:34:52,675 Thank you. 441 00:34:56,679 --> 00:34:59,349 It's just that I have to buy the snow globe, 442 00:34:59,433 --> 00:35:00,434 or it doesn't really count. 443 00:35:02,311 --> 00:35:03,312 Okay. 444 00:35:05,063 --> 00:35:07,733 - Do you have any cash on you? - Yes. 445 00:35:10,736 --> 00:35:12,070 It was actually 60 quid. 446 00:35:15,115 --> 00:35:17,492 I think you paid a bit too much there. 447 00:35:22,956 --> 00:35:24,124 Thank you for this. 448 00:35:26,543 --> 00:35:27,544 You're welcome. 449 00:35:29,588 --> 00:35:30,923 I'm gonna need the receipt. 450 00:35:31,715 --> 00:35:35,469 - Of course. Can I email it to you? - Yeah, email's great. 451 00:35:35,552 --> 00:35:37,137 - Sooner the better. - I'll get on it. 452 00:36:03,330 --> 00:36:07,125 Nathan, your father and I are headed to the farmers' market for a few hours. 453 00:36:07,209 --> 00:36:09,169 We love you, sweetheart. 454 00:36:20,472 --> 00:36:21,640 Hello, there. Good morning. 455 00:36:23,892 --> 00:36:25,102 - Hello, madam. - Hello there. 456 00:36:25,185 --> 00:36:27,271 - Can I take your coat? - Oh, yes, absolutely. 457 00:36:28,897 --> 00:36:29,898 - Thank you. - Thank you. 458 00:36:36,446 --> 00:36:37,823 Hello, Rebecca. 459 00:36:39,741 --> 00:36:40,727 Rupert. 460 00:36:40,742 --> 00:36:43,620 Thank you for accepting my invitation. 461 00:36:44,538 --> 00:36:46,790 How could I resist the chance of having a bunch of old men 462 00:36:46,874 --> 00:36:47,875 speak directly to my chest? 463 00:36:50,586 --> 00:36:53,088 Mr. Mannion, you left your phone in the car. 464 00:36:54,214 --> 00:36:56,842 And your fecalist emailed your results. 465 00:36:57,467 --> 00:36:59,970 Two big thumbs up as expected. 466 00:37:00,554 --> 00:37:01,554 Wonderful. 467 00:37:02,306 --> 00:37:05,142 Ms. Bread, Rebecca Welton. 468 00:37:05,225 --> 00:37:08,187 Rebecca, this is my assistant, Ms. Bread. 469 00:37:08,770 --> 00:37:10,022 Nice to meet you. 470 00:37:16,695 --> 00:37:18,030 Excuse me. 471 00:37:22,659 --> 00:37:24,536 - New assistant? - Yeah. 472 00:37:25,662 --> 00:37:28,415 What happened to the corporate pixie dream girl? 473 00:37:29,208 --> 00:37:31,043 Skewed. Dramatic. 474 00:37:34,046 --> 00:37:35,380 - Shall we? - Yes. 475 00:37:38,509 --> 00:37:40,677 So, gentlemen, hello. 476 00:37:40,761 --> 00:37:45,098 I believe most of you know Rebecca, owner of AFC Richmond. 477 00:37:46,141 --> 00:37:49,353 It's been my title since we got divorced, and I took the only thing he ever loved. 478 00:37:50,687 --> 00:37:51,688 Wonderful. 479 00:37:53,398 --> 00:37:55,150 - Rebecca. - Hello, Robert. 480 00:37:55,234 --> 00:37:57,611 When Rupert told me you were joining us today, 481 00:37:57,694 --> 00:37:59,029 I was truly excited. 482 00:38:00,072 --> 00:38:04,868 Then when you walked in, in that outfit, I remember why. 483 00:38:09,164 --> 00:38:10,499 Greetings to you all! 484 00:38:10,582 --> 00:38:12,459 And thank you for coming. 485 00:38:13,335 --> 00:38:14,378 Francis. 486 00:38:20,717 --> 00:38:22,344 - Rebecca. - Mr. Akufo, 487 00:38:22,427 --> 00:38:24,346 how wonderful to see you again. 488 00:38:24,429 --> 00:38:26,807 Yes, I'm very glad that you are here. 489 00:38:28,141 --> 00:38:30,811 It's nice to not be the only minority in the room, eh? 490 00:38:33,105 --> 00:38:38,443 Gentlemen and lady, I'm sure you're all very anxious to get started. 491 00:38:38,986 --> 00:38:41,363 But as my father would say, 492 00:38:41,446 --> 00:38:44,741 "Never talk business on an empty stomach." 493 00:38:44,825 --> 00:38:45,909 So… 494 00:38:48,620 --> 00:38:53,834 Please take your seats and let us enjoy some delicious Ghanaian bites 495 00:38:53,917 --> 00:38:56,295 as well as some Chicago-style hot dogs, 496 00:38:56,378 --> 00:38:59,965 as enjoyed by the likes of Scottie Pippen, Obama and Ferris Bueller. 497 00:39:00,048 --> 00:39:01,049 Please. 498 00:39:03,177 --> 00:39:05,220 Yes, please. Please sit down. Sit down. 499 00:40:30,305 --> 00:40:31,306 Thanks. 500 00:40:39,439 --> 00:40:44,236 So, now that our bellies are full, let us talk business. 501 00:40:44,319 --> 00:40:48,031 But first, there is one thing to take care of. 502 00:41:03,213 --> 00:41:06,341 It's okay. I will leave now. 503 00:41:06,425 --> 00:41:09,469 Yeah, no, thank you, Nicolay. It's just easier for everybody… 504 00:41:09,553 --> 00:41:11,722 No. I get it. 505 00:41:12,431 --> 00:41:15,893 It's just the whole Russia thing. You know, it's not a good look right now. 506 00:41:17,519 --> 00:41:19,229 You… It's a "pull." 507 00:41:20,147 --> 00:41:21,565 You have to pull. It's a… 508 00:41:21,648 --> 00:41:25,694 It's a… You're pushing. It's a pu… You have to pull the door. 509 00:41:25,777 --> 00:41:26,945 What you're doing is obviously w… 510 00:41:28,113 --> 00:41:30,324 You're pushing, and you have to pull. 511 00:41:30,407 --> 00:41:31,909 There. Okay, goodbye. 512 00:41:31,992 --> 00:41:34,953 Okay, gentlemen. And one woman. 513 00:41:35,037 --> 00:41:39,958 I invited you here to tell you about the Akufo League. 514 00:41:40,042 --> 00:41:45,130 A global football league made up of only the best teams. 515 00:41:45,214 --> 00:41:50,594 Yes, it will cost the fans a bit more, and some may not be able to afford it. 516 00:41:50,677 --> 00:41:54,890 But those who can will see the cream of the crop. 517 00:41:54,973 --> 00:41:57,893 Each matchup, a clash of titans. 518 00:41:58,393 --> 00:42:01,355 Each game, an undried dream. 519 00:42:02,189 --> 00:42:05,943 Now, in the beginning, some people will hate it 520 00:42:06,443 --> 00:42:09,154 because some people hate change. 521 00:42:09,738 --> 00:42:14,368 But remember, at one time, we only rode horses 522 00:42:14,451 --> 00:42:16,870 and hated the idea of automobiles. 523 00:42:17,621 --> 00:42:19,790 Now we can't live without our cars, 524 00:42:19,873 --> 00:42:23,710 and the hot dogs we just ate are 85% horse meat. 525 00:42:24,545 --> 00:42:26,880 Change is inevitable. 526 00:42:26,964 --> 00:42:29,716 Why should football not change? 527 00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:31,593 Why should it not evolve? 528 00:42:31,677 --> 00:42:35,597 Why should your profits not grow exponentially? 529 00:42:38,225 --> 00:42:42,479 Yes, the fans will protest. They will whine. 530 00:42:42,563 --> 00:42:46,233 They will make up mean-spirited but admittedly clever parody songs 531 00:42:46,316 --> 00:42:50,028 using our surnames and sing them outside the buildings that we own. 532 00:42:50,696 --> 00:42:56,910 But in time, they will come to embrace the superior product. 533 00:42:56,994 --> 00:43:01,707 Just as we have all embraced the automobile… 534 00:43:03,375 --> 00:43:04,376 the smartphone… 535 00:43:06,170 --> 00:43:07,504 the squatty potty. 536 00:43:09,381 --> 00:43:13,427 The Akufo League is the future of football. 537 00:43:14,178 --> 00:43:16,263 And the future is now. 538 00:43:19,933 --> 00:43:23,020 Francis will pass out the projections for the first five years. 539 00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:26,690 Please take a moment to peruse. 540 00:43:37,993 --> 00:43:38,993 Thank you. 541 00:43:41,371 --> 00:43:42,372 Thank you. 542 00:44:05,646 --> 00:44:06,647 Okay. 543 00:44:36,844 --> 00:44:38,053 - Yeah. - Yes. 544 00:44:38,136 --> 00:44:42,099 Well, makes sense to me. I'm in. 545 00:44:42,850 --> 00:44:44,184 Wonderful. 546 00:44:49,147 --> 00:44:52,943 Rebecca, what do you think? 547 00:44:56,697 --> 00:44:58,782 Is this a fucking joke? 548 00:45:00,909 --> 00:45:02,035 Excuse me? 549 00:45:14,548 --> 00:45:17,342 What do you think you're doing? Just stop it! 550 00:45:19,386 --> 00:45:21,930 I mean, how much more money do any of you really need? 551 00:45:24,308 --> 00:45:28,187 Why would you ever consider taking something away from people 552 00:45:28,270 --> 00:45:30,480 that means so much to them? 553 00:45:31,106 --> 00:45:32,524 This isn't a game. 554 00:45:34,568 --> 00:45:36,820 Football isn't just a game. 555 00:45:36,904 --> 00:45:39,031 England dominating. No surprise. 556 00:45:39,114 --> 00:45:44,494 It's one of those amazing things in life that can make you feel shit one moment… 557 00:45:44,578 --> 00:45:47,581 You'd expect Southgate to be looking at his bench about now, 558 00:45:47,664 --> 00:45:49,625 and we do have a substitution. 559 00:45:49,708 --> 00:45:53,420 AFC Richmond's Jamie Tartt winning his first cap for England. 560 00:45:54,046 --> 00:45:56,215 An unforgettable moment and well-earned. 561 00:45:57,424 --> 00:46:01,011 And then, like it's Christmas morning the next. 562 00:46:01,094 --> 00:46:02,304 Tartt's wearing 24, 563 00:46:02,387 --> 00:46:06,016 a nod to his Richmond teammate, the spectacular Sam Obisanya. 564 00:46:06,099 --> 00:46:09,978 It has the ability to make heroes and villains out of ordinary men. 565 00:46:20,072 --> 00:46:22,324 People love this game. 566 00:46:22,991 --> 00:46:25,035 My father loved this game. 567 00:46:25,953 --> 00:46:28,288 You all used to love this game. 568 00:46:28,997 --> 00:46:30,207 I'm sure of it. 569 00:46:35,379 --> 00:46:40,217 I knew this little boy. Working-class. From Richmond. 570 00:46:42,261 --> 00:46:47,224 And he loved football so much, he used to sneak into the matches 571 00:46:47,307 --> 00:46:50,477 because his family just couldn't afford the tickets. 572 00:46:51,854 --> 00:46:55,357 And one afternoon, he finally got caught. 573 00:46:58,110 --> 00:47:03,198 And the security guard smacked him round the face, knocked him on the ground. 574 00:47:05,659 --> 00:47:09,705 But that little boy stood up, smiled, 575 00:47:11,498 --> 00:47:13,709 kicked the security guard in the bollocks and ran away. 576 00:47:15,210 --> 00:47:16,211 Never to return. 577 00:47:17,546 --> 00:47:22,342 Until 25 years later, when he walked in and bought the entire club. 578 00:47:24,386 --> 00:47:26,722 And on his first day as owner, 579 00:47:26,805 --> 00:47:29,933 he went and found that same security guard 580 00:47:30,434 --> 00:47:33,645 and gave him a pay rise without any explanation. 581 00:47:37,816 --> 00:47:42,779 Just because we own these teams doesn't mean they belong to us. 582 00:47:47,034 --> 00:47:49,453 And I don't want to be part of something 583 00:47:49,536 --> 00:47:53,665 that could possibly destroy this beautiful game. 584 00:47:55,042 --> 00:47:59,546 Because I would hate for all those little kids and grown-ups out there 585 00:47:59,630 --> 00:48:06,386 to ever lose access to that beautiful, passionate part of themselves. 586 00:48:10,432 --> 00:48:12,434 What a lovely speech. 587 00:48:16,522 --> 00:48:19,149 Now, who wants to make a lot of money? 588 00:48:55,727 --> 00:48:56,937 Jesus fucking Christ! 589 00:48:58,188 --> 00:48:59,773 Hey, sorry. 590 00:49:01,316 --> 00:49:02,401 I thought you'd gone out. 591 00:49:02,484 --> 00:49:06,238 I did. But my acid reflux started playing up, so I came home. 592 00:49:07,531 --> 00:49:08,699 I didn't know you had acid reflux. 593 00:49:09,867 --> 00:49:10,868 I don't. 594 00:49:11,451 --> 00:49:14,037 But your mother knows I like my alone time. 595 00:49:15,998 --> 00:49:17,416 Sorry if I disturbed you. 596 00:49:18,834 --> 00:49:20,002 No, not at all. 597 00:49:22,462 --> 00:49:24,047 I really miss hearing you play. 598 00:49:26,341 --> 00:49:27,384 You do? 599 00:49:27,467 --> 00:49:28,510 Of course. 600 00:49:30,179 --> 00:49:31,930 Thought you hated it when I played. 601 00:49:33,599 --> 00:49:35,017 Why on earth would you think that? 602 00:49:36,685 --> 00:49:38,854 'Cause you literally said that to me once, Dad. 603 00:49:39,438 --> 00:49:41,023 You said I wouldn't practice enough. 604 00:49:41,106 --> 00:49:44,610 How I was squandering my potential and wasting my privilege. 605 00:49:48,238 --> 00:49:50,240 You were given opportunities I never had, 606 00:49:51,241 --> 00:49:53,076 and so I expected a lot from you. 607 00:49:55,245 --> 00:49:57,039 Well, it scared the shit out of me. 608 00:49:58,373 --> 00:49:59,541 I know that now. 609 00:50:00,501 --> 00:50:01,793 And I'm sorry. 610 00:50:03,879 --> 00:50:06,089 I didn't know how to parent a genius. 611 00:50:08,509 --> 00:50:09,510 What? 612 00:50:10,594 --> 00:50:11,595 A genius. 613 00:50:13,263 --> 00:50:14,473 You're brilliant, Son. 614 00:50:16,099 --> 00:50:18,143 You've always seen things other people couldn't, 615 00:50:18,727 --> 00:50:19,728 and that's a blessing. 616 00:50:22,773 --> 00:50:24,983 Yeah, I know it must also be a curse too. 617 00:50:27,361 --> 00:50:28,362 But you're right. 618 00:50:30,489 --> 00:50:33,492 I pushed you to be the best at everything, even at violin. 619 00:50:36,078 --> 00:50:37,829 'Cause I thought that's what I had to do. 620 00:50:39,665 --> 00:50:41,041 I thought that's what you wanted. 621 00:50:44,002 --> 00:50:46,880 I just liked playing. 622 00:50:49,550 --> 00:50:52,135 Nathan, be successful, don't be successful. 623 00:50:53,178 --> 00:50:54,805 I never cared about any of that. 624 00:50:56,431 --> 00:50:58,308 I just want my son to be happy. 625 00:51:27,045 --> 00:51:29,756 Well, that was all very interesting. 626 00:51:30,382 --> 00:51:31,633 Lunch soon? 627 00:51:31,717 --> 00:51:32,661 Yeah, sure. 628 00:51:32,676 --> 00:51:35,888 Rebecca, you still look lovely. 629 00:51:39,725 --> 00:51:40,934 You know, 630 00:51:41,018 --> 00:51:44,021 the last time I saw you two alone in a room together, 631 00:51:44,605 --> 00:51:45,814 was right after your wedding. 632 00:51:48,317 --> 00:51:50,277 You really wanted me to leave. 633 00:51:56,366 --> 00:51:59,453 Hey, remember when we… 634 00:51:59,953 --> 00:52:02,539 we both snuck into a Richmond game together? 635 00:52:03,290 --> 00:52:04,291 I do. 636 00:52:05,042 --> 00:52:08,879 Although you were the owner of the club, so the stakes were a little bit lower. 637 00:52:11,173 --> 00:52:14,092 You got… May I? 638 00:52:14,176 --> 00:52:15,177 Oh, yeah. 639 00:52:26,438 --> 00:52:27,648 Rupert. 640 00:52:57,886 --> 00:53:00,889 - Oi, what you doing there? - Jesus fucking Christ! 641 00:53:01,515 --> 00:53:03,225 Look at you in color. 642 00:53:03,308 --> 00:53:05,936 - What are you doing here? - I live here. 643 00:53:06,019 --> 00:53:07,521 But it's the middle of the day. 644 00:53:09,231 --> 00:53:10,274 What's that? 645 00:53:11,358 --> 00:53:12,901 It's for you. 646 00:53:17,698 --> 00:53:20,325 - You don't have to look now. You can… - I don't mind. 647 00:53:35,424 --> 00:53:37,467 I still can't read your handwriting. 648 00:53:48,562 --> 00:53:52,149 "Dear Keeley, I want you to know something. 649 00:53:53,317 --> 00:53:57,654 You never did anything wrong. It was all me. 650 00:53:59,364 --> 00:54:02,826 I was stuck. Stuck in my own shit. 651 00:54:03,493 --> 00:54:07,372 And I didn't wanna cause you any harm with it, so I pulled away. 652 00:54:09,583 --> 00:54:10,959 But you are…" 653 00:54:18,675 --> 00:54:24,181 You are and always will be Keeley fucking Jones. 654 00:54:28,727 --> 00:54:30,521 And if I ever did anything… 655 00:54:32,940 --> 00:54:35,442 anything at all… 656 00:54:35,526 --> 00:54:37,861 that made you feel like that wasn't true… 657 00:54:40,405 --> 00:54:41,782 I'm so sorry. 658 00:54:45,452 --> 00:54:46,620 I love you. 659 00:54:53,252 --> 00:54:55,587 "Sincerely yours, Roy Kent. XOXO." 660 00:55:03,720 --> 00:55:05,347 You are the only Roy I know. 661 00:55:05,931 --> 00:55:09,142 - Well, I didn't want to assume. - No. 662 00:55:18,110 --> 00:55:19,111 Thank you. 663 00:55:28,996 --> 00:55:29,997 Okay. 664 00:55:44,386 --> 00:55:45,387 I win. 665 00:55:46,555 --> 00:55:47,848 Come on. 666 00:55:51,560 --> 00:55:52,561 Come on. 667 00:56:03,655 --> 00:56:04,740 Have you been shot? 668 00:56:04,823 --> 00:56:07,284 I just convinced a roomful of Rupert's dickhead friends 669 00:56:07,367 --> 00:56:08,827 to pull out of the Akufo League. 670 00:56:08,911 --> 00:56:11,705 - Oh, no! - Oh, no, it's very good. Hug me. 671 00:56:11,788 --> 00:56:14,625 Oh, yes! I'm so proud of you! 672 00:56:14,708 --> 00:56:16,543 Even though I don't totally get it. 673 00:56:16,627 --> 00:56:18,462 Thank you. Wait. 674 00:56:18,545 --> 00:56:21,548 Now that I know that you're actually alive, I'm very cross with you. 675 00:56:21,632 --> 00:56:22,925 Where the hell have you been? 676 00:56:24,718 --> 00:56:26,470 And they just pulled your funding? 677 00:56:27,304 --> 00:56:30,057 Arseholes. Why didn't you tell me? 678 00:56:31,183 --> 00:56:32,684 Well, I couldn't find the right time. 679 00:56:34,311 --> 00:56:35,687 And the right way. 680 00:56:36,939 --> 00:56:38,273 And I didn't want to. 681 00:56:39,733 --> 00:56:41,735 Well, they are idiots. 682 00:56:41,818 --> 00:56:44,655 Because you, Keeley Jones, are a bloody marvel. 683 00:56:47,616 --> 00:56:49,076 How much money were they putting in? 684 00:56:50,077 --> 00:56:53,121 No. I'm not letting you do that. It's a lot. 685 00:56:53,205 --> 00:56:56,416 Oh, shut up. My money, my choice. Come on, tell me. 686 00:57:03,841 --> 00:57:04,842 What are you doing? 687 00:57:04,925 --> 00:57:07,344 This is how they do it in the movies. 688 00:57:16,228 --> 00:57:17,688 Are you joking? 689 00:57:18,480 --> 00:57:19,480 I told you. 690 00:57:20,649 --> 00:57:22,484 I think I have that much money on me in cash. 691 00:57:23,110 --> 00:57:24,611 - No. - Yes. 692 00:57:24,695 --> 00:57:26,154 - No! - Yes. 693 00:57:27,197 --> 00:57:28,282 Thank you! 694 00:57:31,660 --> 00:57:33,912 - Rupert tried to kiss me. - What? 695 00:57:35,038 --> 00:57:36,206 Did your lips touch? 696 00:57:36,290 --> 00:57:38,125 No, I pulled back straightaway. 697 00:57:39,960 --> 00:57:43,380 And I just looked at him and made it all so clear. 698 00:57:45,549 --> 00:57:48,177 Babe, that's huge. 699 00:57:50,554 --> 00:57:55,058 Jesus. Can you imagine if you fell for it, and you got back with Rupert? 700 00:57:55,142 --> 00:57:59,563 After all that floppy cock has done, you would have to be insane. 701 00:57:59,646 --> 00:58:02,399 You would have to be at the bottom of your emotional barrel 702 00:58:02,482 --> 00:58:04,318 to do something that dumb, right? 703 00:58:19,541 --> 00:58:20,626 Hi. 704 00:59:00,332 --> 00:59:01,750 Thanks, Renee. 705 00:59:08,006 --> 00:59:09,591 We've done some restructuring, 706 00:59:09,675 --> 00:59:16,223 but KJPR would still love to help you take your sunglasses global, Ms. Jayye. 707 00:59:18,600 --> 00:59:22,437 I would maybe say "ambitious nightmare" over "crazy." 708 00:59:22,521 --> 00:59:25,065 But yes, we have parted ways with Shandy. 709 00:59:25,732 --> 00:59:30,195 Okay. Of course. Great. Yeah, talk to you soon. 710 00:59:32,030 --> 00:59:33,907 - Nice. Okay. - Ms. Jones. 711 00:59:36,910 --> 00:59:39,580 Barbara, hi. What are you doing here? 712 00:59:41,623 --> 00:59:44,585 I need to give this back to you. 713 00:59:48,422 --> 00:59:50,549 I've given Jack my resignation, 714 00:59:50,632 --> 00:59:55,053 and I only buy a snow globe when I leave a job. 715 00:59:56,638 --> 00:59:59,308 I mean, that is, if you're looking for a CFO. 716 00:59:59,391 --> 01:00:01,393 I mean, I might not… It's… 717 01:00:11,904 --> 01:00:13,030 Would you mind loosening your grip? 718 01:00:13,113 --> 01:00:15,657 'Cause I need to get the receipt so you can reimburse me. 719 01:00:15,741 --> 01:00:17,034 Thank you. 720 01:00:26,960 --> 01:00:27,961 How are you? 721 01:00:34,885 --> 01:00:35,885 Hola, amigo. 722 01:00:37,095 --> 01:00:38,430 Hola. 723 01:00:38,514 --> 01:00:40,098 How's your nose feeling, man? 724 01:00:41,391 --> 01:00:42,391 It feels broken. 725 01:00:44,311 --> 01:00:45,687 It was such a crazy game, right? 726 01:00:46,271 --> 01:00:48,106 I mean, yeah. Yeah, it was. 727 01:00:48,941 --> 01:00:50,359 So many memories. 728 01:00:52,152 --> 01:00:55,614 He's hit the ball with his nose. Top ten moments in sports history. 729 01:00:55,697 --> 01:00:57,574 - You good? - Hey. Yeah, not bad. 730 01:01:21,431 --> 01:01:22,975 So where are you from originally? 731 01:01:23,809 --> 01:01:24,810 None of your business. 732 01:01:24,893 --> 01:01:27,396 Yeah, it is a bit personal. 733 01:01:55,549 --> 01:01:56,633 I'm from Peoria. 734 01:02:06,143 --> 01:02:08,312 - Morning, boss. - Good morning, Ted. 735 01:02:08,812 --> 01:02:11,106 That's cool! Did you draw that? 736 01:02:12,608 --> 01:02:14,151 No, Ted, that's a David Hockney. 737 01:02:14,234 --> 01:02:16,111 Oh, well, he's a very talented little boy. 738 01:02:16,737 --> 01:02:17,988 There you go. 739 01:02:20,741 --> 01:02:25,370 Ted, I want to share something with you that I've realized recently. 740 01:02:25,454 --> 01:02:27,831 How weird it is that Margherita pizza doesn't have alcohol in it? 741 01:02:27,915 --> 01:02:28,859 I'm with you, sister. 742 01:02:28,874 --> 01:02:33,504 No, Ted. I've realized I no longer care if I beat Rupert. 743 01:02:34,421 --> 01:02:35,923 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 744 01:02:36,632 --> 01:02:38,133 I mean, I still want to win. 745 01:02:39,384 --> 01:02:40,636 But for all of us. 746 01:02:43,180 --> 01:02:44,348 For Richmond. 747 01:02:45,849 --> 01:02:47,184 I wanna win for us too. 748 01:02:53,023 --> 01:02:55,067 It just feels like it's ceremonial at this point. 749 01:02:55,150 --> 01:02:58,403 As long as none of that tree piss gets in my mouth, I'm actually okay with it.