1 00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:13,764 - Hello, there. - Hey, there. 2 00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:15,390 - Hi, Ted. - Howdy. 3 00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:17,809 Hey, Ted. Good luck this weekend. 4 00:00:17,893 --> 00:00:19,269 I appreciate you, Susan. 5 00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:24,441 Hey, Ms. Barnaby. Rough night? 6 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:28,028 Ted, if it's not rough, it isn't fun. 7 00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:31,448 Boy. 8 00:00:32,241 --> 00:00:34,159 - Hiya. - Hey, fellas. How you doing? 9 00:00:35,244 --> 00:00:37,079 - What's up, Coach? - There she is. 10 00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:41,333 Hey, wanker. Don't get all cocky and fuck up that streak you're on. 11 00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:42,960 What streak? 12 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,629 - Go Richmond. - Yes, sir. 13 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,090 Morning. 14 00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:49,967 Hey. How you doing? 15 00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:57,099 - Mom? - Hey, Teddy. 16 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:31,717 Don't think the cleaners actually cleaned the floor. 17 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,260 There are no cleaners. 18 00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:35,053 So, why do we put the chairs on the tables? 19 00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:36,763 The patriarchy. 20 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:40,475 Okay. Oh, well. I'll just go get a broom. 21 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,441 Hello. 22 00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:50,777 We're not open for another half hour. Would you care to wait not here? 23 00:01:50,861 --> 00:01:51,862 - I'm sorry. - Okay. 24 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:52,946 No, wait. 25 00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:56,575 We're actually here to speak with Nathan Shelley. He works here, yeah? 26 00:01:57,326 --> 00:01:58,327 No such man exists. 27 00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:03,790 Oh, my God, it's true. 28 00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:07,044 How did you go through your money so fast? 29 00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:09,630 Did you get addicted to the limelight? 30 00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:13,008 What? No. No, I just like working here. 31 00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:16,136 I like spending time with my girlfriend. 32 00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:18,805 She was right there. 33 00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:22,434 - That was my girlfriend. She… - Okay. 34 00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:24,561 What are you guys doing here? 35 00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:26,313 We want you to come back to Richmond. 36 00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:32,611 - You do? - Yeah, bruv. 37 00:02:32,694 --> 00:02:35,113 'Cause this shit here is sad as fuck. 38 00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:38,909 And all of you? You want me to come… 39 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,703 Yeah. It'll be good to have you back. 40 00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:45,707 The whole team talked about it, and it was unanimous. 41 00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:46,792 Except for Bumbercatch. 42 00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:50,295 Who abstained because he's passionately antidemocratic. 43 00:02:50,379 --> 00:02:51,922 Oh, yeah. 44 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,006 Yeah. 45 00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:56,468 So, what? Ted asked you guys to come here to get me to come back? 46 00:02:56,552 --> 00:02:58,262 No, Ted doesn't know about it. 47 00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:01,974 Yeah, no, we wanted to ask you to see if you wanted to come back 48 00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:03,517 before we approached Ted. 49 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:04,935 Okay, well, sorry, guys. 50 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:07,729 I don't think it's a good idea for me to come back to Richmond, so… 51 00:03:07,813 --> 00:03:08,813 Thank you though. 52 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:13,527 - Okay. - Cool. 53 00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:15,779 Can I have 75 kebabs to go? 54 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,449 Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, of course. Chicken, pork or lamb? 55 00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,829 Or 25 of each? 56 00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:26,455 Nate the Great. 57 00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:28,834 - Yum. - Okay. 58 00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:30,252 - Nice. - Hey. 59 00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:32,379 Thank you! 60 00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:44,433 Pretty sparse. 61 00:03:52,858 --> 00:03:55,235 What are all these crazy symbols on your oven dial? 62 00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:59,573 Yeah, well, the one with the line under the nuclear power symbol, 63 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:00,991 that's for making cookies and chicken. 64 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:04,077 The three squiggly lines let you burn a frozen pizza. 65 00:04:04,161 --> 00:04:06,330 And the key symbol there, that makes the whole thing beep 66 00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,248 until Beard comes over and fixes it for me. 67 00:04:08,332 --> 00:04:09,499 Is everything okay, Mom? 68 00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:11,293 Sure. I'm just looking around. 69 00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:14,463 No, no. No, I mean, you being here in London. Is everything okay? 70 00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:16,089 Oh, yeah. Everything's fine. 71 00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,050 I just always wanted to see England, 72 00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:20,719 so I booked this trip as a little Mother's Day gift to myself. 73 00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:24,181 Okay. Well, I mean, how long you been here? 74 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,808 - Just a week. - A week? Where the heck you staying? 75 00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:28,560 This adorable little hostel. 76 00:04:28,644 --> 00:04:30,771 - Mom… - Now, I met so many Australians. 77 00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:32,606 They are backpacking through Europe. 78 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,650 So much sex. 79 00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:36,401 - Mom. - No, not me. 80 00:04:36,485 --> 00:04:38,654 - The Australians. - No, no, I get it. Okay. 81 00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:40,822 How about you stay here for the rest of your trip, all right? 82 00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:42,366 Only if I'm not a hassle. 83 00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:44,535 You're not a hassle, Mom, okay? Please stay here. 84 00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,161 - Okay. - Okay, good. All right. 85 00:04:46,245 --> 00:04:49,039 - Now, look, I gotta get to work. - All righty. Have fun. 86 00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:52,417 You wanna tag along? 87 00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:55,754 - Well, I don't wanna be in your hair. - Mom, I want you in my hair. Okay? 88 00:04:55,838 --> 00:04:58,215 I want you in my friends' and coworkers' hair. 89 00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,758 Now, please. Come on with. 90 00:04:59,842 --> 00:05:01,510 - Okay, thank you. I would like that. - All right, good. 91 00:05:01,593 --> 00:05:03,303 You don't have to bring your suitcase, Mom. 92 00:05:03,387 --> 00:05:06,056 - Okay. I'll just grab my coat… - Yeah. 93 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:10,435 …get my bag, leave my worries on the doorstep. 94 00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:13,856 Yeah, just direct your feet that way, Mom. Okay. 95 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:22,322 Sam, Richmond have won 15 matches in a row. 96 00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:24,199 With two games left, you're just four points off 97 00:05:24,283 --> 00:05:26,451 Manchester City for the Premier League title. 98 00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:30,873 - Do you have a question? - Yeah. Am I dreaming? 99 00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:35,544 Well, if you are, please, don't wake up. 100 00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:37,588 And if this is the Matrix, don't unplug me. 101 00:05:39,882 --> 00:05:41,300 Yeah, better Trent. 102 00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:44,094 Marcus Adebayo, The Independent. 103 00:05:44,178 --> 00:05:47,097 Jamie, on the heels of making your England debut, 104 00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:49,433 how does it feel to be named Premier League Player of the Month? 105 00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:56,398 Yeah. Yeah. It feels good, I guess. 106 00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:59,401 But it's really the team making me look good. 107 00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:02,654 So, I should be doing a better job of making them look good, really. 108 00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:05,991 So, yeah. Makes me feel bad. 109 00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:11,663 Jamie also led the league in assists this month, 110 00:06:11,747 --> 00:06:14,416 so he's done plenty to make his teammates look good. 111 00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:16,251 Yeah, but they're the ones who took all the shots. 112 00:06:16,335 --> 00:06:17,753 He also scored a goal. 113 00:06:17,836 --> 00:06:20,255 That was meant to be a pass. You shouldn't count that. 114 00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:24,885 That goal is a lie. It should be retracted from the records. 115 00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:28,639 I apologize to everyone, especially the kids. 116 00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:34,019 Right, let's call it there, everyone. That was great. Thanks very much. 117 00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:39,650 - Hey, Boss. - Hello, Ted. 118 00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:42,819 So this morning, I don't just bring biscuits. 119 00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:45,447 I also have a very special surprise guest. 120 00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:48,450 How exciting. To whom do I owe the pleasure? 121 00:06:48,534 --> 00:06:50,285 I'm Coach Lasso's new bodyguard. 122 00:06:50,369 --> 00:06:52,496 Please keep your hands where I can see them. 123 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:54,498 I'm just kidding. 124 00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,793 You can keep them well-manicured mitts of yours wherever you like. 125 00:06:57,876 --> 00:07:00,420 Oh, my God. You're Ted's mother. 126 00:07:00,504 --> 00:07:01,964 Winner, winner, B. F. Skinner. 127 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:06,802 Mom, this is my boss, Rebecca Welton. Rebecca, this is Dottie Lasso. 128 00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:08,387 Honey, bring that in. 129 00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:13,433 I can't believe I'm finally getting to meet the woman who created 130 00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:15,269 one of the nicest humans I've ever met. 131 00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:16,728 Oh, no, don't look at me. 132 00:07:16,812 --> 00:07:19,523 This one popped out and immediately asked the doctor if he needed anything. 133 00:07:20,691 --> 00:07:22,234 That doesn't make any sense. 134 00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:24,945 Babies can't talk and nor do they understand empathy. And you know… 135 00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:27,406 Dottie… I'm sorry. May I call you Dottie? 136 00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:28,949 Sure, if you want me to respond. 137 00:07:29,032 --> 00:07:31,493 Right. If you'd like, I'd love to show you around. 138 00:07:31,577 --> 00:07:33,996 I've heard great things about the Sherlock Holmes Museum. 139 00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:35,873 I mean around the facility. 140 00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:38,542 Even better. I can't wait to meet Dani Rojas. 141 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,419 And he does not disappoint. 142 00:07:41,587 --> 00:07:42,963 - Shall we? - Sure. 143 00:07:44,006 --> 00:07:45,632 - Where you from, honey? - Surrey. 144 00:07:46,258 --> 00:07:47,467 Where are you from? 145 00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:50,554 - Surrey. - I thought you said "sorry." 146 00:07:56,727 --> 00:07:57,728 So I say, 147 00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,688 "Officer, you must be mistaken. 148 00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:03,400 You couldn't have arrested my son. My son is asleep in his own bed." 149 00:08:04,568 --> 00:08:07,196 Are you sure you do not want a kebab, Mama Lasso? 150 00:08:07,279 --> 00:08:08,572 Oh, no, thank you, Dani. 151 00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,240 You are so polite. 152 00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:12,993 Okay, now bear with me. 153 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,247 It must be so lovely having your mother visiting, Ted. 154 00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:18,707 Oh, yeah. It's great. 155 00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:21,418 - Oklahoma. - Oh, no. It's weird. 156 00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:23,128 Didn't tell me she was coming. 157 00:08:23,212 --> 00:08:25,047 Just showed up out of nowhere, you know, like one of them 158 00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:27,925 weird eyebrow hairs I started getting the day after I turned 40. 159 00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:30,177 That's what mothers do, Ted. 160 00:08:31,929 --> 00:08:35,599 So it turns out my 12-year-old son was not asleep in his own room. 161 00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:37,851 He had taken our car for a joyride. 162 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:41,480 Now, he was arrested for driving on the wrong side of the road, 163 00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:43,774 so I guess he was destined to live in England. 164 00:08:45,651 --> 00:08:49,029 Now, see, I wasn't 12. I was 15. And the whole reason we got pulled over 165 00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:52,783 was 'cause Ronnie Fowch was throwing gang signs at a cop car. 166 00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:55,202 Look, sometimes the truth can ruin a perfectly good story. 167 00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:56,954 Yeah, you should work for the Daily Mail. 168 00:08:58,455 --> 00:09:01,834 Ted, if you can give your mom one lovely moment, 169 00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:05,170 you know, a memory to take back home, then you've won. 170 00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:08,507 Yeah, all right. Thanks, Boss. 171 00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:11,134 Right. I've got to go and see a man about a horse. 172 00:09:11,802 --> 00:09:14,012 I didn't know girls said that when they gotta pee. 173 00:09:14,763 --> 00:09:15,931 No, Ted, I'm buying a horse. 174 00:09:20,644 --> 00:09:24,314 Hey, did Teddy ever tell you about the time he ate a candy bar made of poop? 175 00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:27,109 Okay, okay! All right. 176 00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:29,778 I think that's enough story time with Mama Lasso, all right, fellas? 177 00:09:29,862 --> 00:09:32,322 Practice starts in twenty minutes. Up you go. 178 00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:34,366 - Nice to meet you, Mama Lasso. - Nice to meet you. 179 00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:35,909 Hey, Mom. I'll be right back. 180 00:09:35,993 --> 00:09:38,245 I'm gonna go change, and then I'll take you out to the pitch. 181 00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:40,080 Okay, honey. I'll be here. 182 00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:44,126 Mrs. Lasso, I just wanted to introduce myself. I'm Trent Crimm. 183 00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:45,961 - Hello, Trent. - Hello. 184 00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:48,922 I was wondering if I could just have a little chat with you about… 185 00:09:49,006 --> 00:09:50,549 Trent, your hair is fabulous. 186 00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:53,010 - It really is. It's just styling. - Thank you. Thank you. 187 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,264 Van Damme. You still gotta wear that mask? 188 00:09:57,848 --> 00:10:01,226 Yeah, I do, man. Or else I die. 189 00:10:06,023 --> 00:10:09,818 Between wearing that mask and death, I choose death. 190 00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:15,240 - It does make you look very stupid. - Oh, well. Thank you, Jan Maas. 191 00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:20,454 You wanna take a crack, Jamie? 192 00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:24,541 I think it's more important to be safe than to look cool. 193 00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:32,591 Oi! Tartt. 194 00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,302 Boot room. Now! 195 00:10:39,723 --> 00:10:42,059 Somebody is in trouble. 196 00:10:43,352 --> 00:10:46,230 No. Shouting is Roy's love language. 197 00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:56,406 All right. Listen up. 198 00:10:56,490 --> 00:11:00,827 This is not the week for your mister fucking humble, great teammate bullshit. 199 00:11:00,911 --> 00:11:04,581 We got City on Saturday, so we need you to be the prickiest prick 200 00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:06,959 you've ever been in your little prick life. 201 00:11:07,042 --> 00:11:09,211 You understand? So I don't want you… 202 00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:16,176 What is wrong? 203 00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:19,179 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. 204 00:11:19,263 --> 00:11:21,473 Are you fucking dying or some shit? 205 00:11:21,557 --> 00:11:24,977 No. No. I'm… No. I'm just tired. 206 00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:29,314 But I can't sleep, and I can't eat. 207 00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:32,860 And I wash me hair, but I don't use any conditioner anymore 208 00:11:32,943 --> 00:11:34,820 'cause I… Like, what's the fucking point? 209 00:11:35,654 --> 00:11:38,323 I feel like the guy in the Red Bull commercial 210 00:11:38,407 --> 00:11:41,076 who's pushing that big rock up the hill, 211 00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:43,161 but he's lost his wings. 212 00:11:43,245 --> 00:11:47,499 Roy, I feel like… I feel like I've lost me wings, Roy. 213 00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:52,671 Where the fuck are my wings, Roy? 214 00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:03,640 Fuck. 215 00:12:06,518 --> 00:12:08,228 - Will? - Yeah? 216 00:12:08,854 --> 00:12:10,230 You missed a good one. 217 00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:20,350 Oh, boy. 218 00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:22,951 …that you've ever seen. You know, I even… 219 00:12:23,035 --> 00:12:25,662 Oh, my God, Coach. Our new striker looks just like your mom. 220 00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:26,830 That is my mom. 221 00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,917 I know, Ted. That was a joke. 222 00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:32,961 - Right. - Hey, Ted. Got a sec? 223 00:12:33,045 --> 00:12:34,796 What is time, Higgs boson? What's up? 224 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:35,923 So, this morning, 225 00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:39,176 a few of my little birdies went to visit Nathan in his new job, 226 00:12:40,469 --> 00:12:42,888 waiting tables in Tooting. 227 00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:44,515 - Tooting? - Tooting. 228 00:12:44,598 --> 00:12:46,600 - Did he just say "Tooting"? - Tooting. 229 00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:48,977 - Y'all got a town here called "Tooting"? - Tooting, yes. 230 00:12:49,061 --> 00:12:50,395 Man, this place is great, right? 231 00:12:51,230 --> 00:12:52,940 Yeah. Sorry, what were you saying about Nate? 232 00:12:53,023 --> 00:12:57,194 The little birdies are pretty sure he'd come back if invited. 233 00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,155 Uh-huh. Okay. What do you think? 234 00:13:00,239 --> 00:13:02,366 Well, I do believe in second chances, Ted. 235 00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:05,452 That's why I'm still married, and all my sons are alive. 236 00:13:06,495 --> 00:13:08,789 Hey, Roy. Would it bother you if we brought Nate back? 237 00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:10,082 No. I don't give a fuck. 238 00:13:10,749 --> 00:13:14,253 He's great at the shit I suck at. Look, I've gotta go and do something. 239 00:13:14,336 --> 00:13:15,921 Okay. Everything all right? 240 00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:19,049 Yeah. I've just come down with a case of the "none of your fucking business." 241 00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:21,760 Right, right. Okay. What about you, Coach? 242 00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:23,846 - You all right if Nate comes… - If you bring that Judas back, 243 00:13:23,929 --> 00:13:26,390 I will burn this place to the fucking ground. 244 00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:29,518 Ted? 245 00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:32,062 Is it true that you got onstage and danced with Bruce Springsteen? 246 00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:33,605 No, that was Courteney Cox. 247 00:13:33,689 --> 00:13:36,358 What I did do was sing "Glory Days" with a Bruce Springsteen cover band 248 00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:38,026 at my friend Scott Cinnamon's bar mitzvah. 249 00:13:39,111 --> 00:13:41,697 It was the bar mitzvah. That's right. It was the bar mitzvah. 250 00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:43,490 - Is this your mom? - Yeah. 251 00:13:43,574 --> 00:13:45,826 It is so nice to meet you. 252 00:13:45,909 --> 00:13:47,870 Friends don't shake hands. Friends hug. 253 00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:51,748 - Weirdo Beard-o! - Lodi Dodi! 254 00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,626 Come on, bring it on in. There you go. 255 00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:58,130 - Trent, come along. - Lodi Dodi, she like to party 256 00:13:58,213 --> 00:14:00,215 She don't cause trouble Don't bother nobody 257 00:14:01,842 --> 00:14:04,094 - Some of us got a football team to coach! - Whoo-hoo! 258 00:14:04,178 --> 00:14:06,180 Lodi Dodi, she like to party 259 00:14:06,263 --> 00:14:08,223 She don't cause trouble Don't bother nobody 260 00:14:18,442 --> 00:14:21,820 Hello. Are you here about the pipes? 261 00:14:22,404 --> 00:14:24,656 No. What's wrong with the pipes? 262 00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:26,742 Nothing. 263 00:14:27,284 --> 00:14:29,953 That's why I thought it was so weird that you were here about the pipes. 264 00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:34,124 Roy, what are you doing here? 265 00:14:34,208 --> 00:14:35,751 I need to talk. 266 00:14:40,631 --> 00:14:41,533 Roy… 267 00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:44,885 Oh, no. Not about us. I just… 268 00:14:47,262 --> 00:14:48,555 I need your help with Jamie. 269 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:52,434 He's all fucked in the head. And I've tried to do it myself, 270 00:14:52,518 --> 00:14:54,561 but it's all that emotional shit you're good at. 271 00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:58,232 Also… you look nice. 272 00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:00,067 You want my help with Jamie? 273 00:15:00,150 --> 00:15:02,653 Yeah, and you look nice. 274 00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:08,699 Both of you. 275 00:15:10,327 --> 00:15:11,328 Thank you. 276 00:15:12,204 --> 00:15:15,707 This cost two pounds from a car boot sale, so… 277 00:15:15,791 --> 00:15:17,000 All right. 278 00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:19,294 You know, thank you. 279 00:15:27,803 --> 00:15:30,889 This place is very charming. 280 00:15:30,973 --> 00:15:33,600 Reminds of this Irish bar I went to in Topeka. 281 00:15:33,684 --> 00:15:35,769 Well, you probably don't wanna share that with me. 282 00:15:35,853 --> 00:15:37,688 The Irish part or the Topeka part? 283 00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:39,231 Both, really. 284 00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:40,440 No! No! 285 00:15:43,986 --> 00:15:45,112 My turn. Excuse me. 286 00:15:48,866 --> 00:15:54,037 Trying to follow the yellow brick road, where the dogs of society keep on howling. 287 00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:55,065 How's he doing? 288 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:58,000 Well, I'm ahead, but he's better set up for the multiball. 289 00:15:58,584 --> 00:16:01,170 No, silly pants. How's he doing? 290 00:16:04,256 --> 00:16:05,883 Well, he's Ted. 291 00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:07,843 Still running around in circles, 292 00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:11,972 making sure everybody's okay without accepting a drop of help for himself. 293 00:16:12,556 --> 00:16:14,016 Pretty much. How you doing, Dottie? 294 00:16:15,017 --> 00:16:16,226 Don't you worry about me. 295 00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:19,980 Nah, y'all got enough cooking without putting my troubles on your to-do list. 296 00:16:20,981 --> 00:16:23,192 - Here you go. - Thank you, Mae. 297 00:16:23,275 --> 00:16:24,276 Cheers, Mae. 298 00:16:25,611 --> 00:16:28,488 Mae, your pub is wonderful. 299 00:16:28,572 --> 00:16:31,116 It's nothing like that Irish place in Topeka. 300 00:16:32,618 --> 00:16:33,785 I'll take your word for it. 301 00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:38,207 So, you seeing anyone? 302 00:16:39,333 --> 00:16:41,835 Had my heart ripped out of my chest, stomped into a pulp, 303 00:16:41,919 --> 00:16:44,379 and dragged through the town square for everyone to ridicule. 304 00:16:44,463 --> 00:16:47,007 Sweetie. That's okay, you'll meet somebody. 305 00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:48,091 No, I'm in love. 306 00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:52,221 - Here. Wanna see a picture? - Sure. 307 00:16:53,639 --> 00:16:55,015 Your mum's a peach. 308 00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:57,559 Oh, yeah. I… Thanks. 309 00:16:58,727 --> 00:17:01,772 Here, I'll swap with you. There you are. 310 00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:05,692 You know, Ted, pinball is a lot more fun if you use an actual ball. 311 00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:12,782 Yeah. Well, I… You know, I was letting Coach and my mom catch up a little. 312 00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:13,867 That's all. 313 00:17:18,789 --> 00:17:20,874 "They fuck you up, your mum and dad. 314 00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:23,460 They may not mean to, but they do. 315 00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:30,551 They fill you with the faults they had and add some extra just for you. 316 00:17:31,635 --> 00:17:34,513 But they were fucked up in their turn 317 00:17:35,097 --> 00:17:38,308 by fools in old-style hats and coats, 318 00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:44,106 who half the time were soppy-stern and half at one another's throats. 319 00:17:46,650 --> 00:17:49,361 Man hands on misery to man. 320 00:17:49,862 --> 00:17:52,030 It deepens like a coastal shelf. 321 00:17:54,157 --> 00:17:58,328 Get out as early as you can and don't have any kids yourself." 322 00:18:08,213 --> 00:18:11,300 Hey, Ted. Your mum's the bollocks. 323 00:18:11,383 --> 00:18:12,968 We just became friends on Facebook. 324 00:18:13,051 --> 00:18:14,928 I didn't know you were almost the drummer in Coldplay. 325 00:18:15,012 --> 00:18:16,346 Oh, yeah. It's true. It's true. 326 00:18:16,430 --> 00:18:18,140 It's amazing. It's incredible! 327 00:18:20,475 --> 00:18:21,476 No way. 328 00:18:28,734 --> 00:18:30,694 I can't take your bed, Teddy. 329 00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:33,405 Mom, it's okay, all right? I'll just sleep on the couch. 330 00:18:33,488 --> 00:18:36,033 - No, I'll sleep on the couch. - Well, then I'm gonna sleep 331 00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:38,785 on the floor next to the couch, and neither of us are gonna use the bed. 332 00:18:38,869 --> 00:18:39,869 Please. 333 00:18:40,412 --> 00:18:42,706 - Thank you. - Okay. 334 00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:46,043 - Not on the bed. - Okay. Okay. Okay. 335 00:18:46,627 --> 00:18:47,961 Hey, I brought you something. 336 00:18:48,045 --> 00:18:50,339 What? On the off chance we'd bump into each other? 337 00:18:50,422 --> 00:18:52,966 No, it's your clippings from back home. 338 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,224 I thought you'd want those. 339 00:19:02,893 --> 00:19:04,228 I appreciate it. 340 00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:07,189 So, what's your plan tomorrow? 341 00:19:07,856 --> 00:19:09,691 Yeah, do you wanna come to Manchester with us? 342 00:19:09,775 --> 00:19:11,235 I don't know. 343 00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:13,737 I mean, coming all the way to England and not seeing a soccer match 344 00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:16,073 is kind of like going to Rome and not going to church 345 00:19:16,156 --> 00:19:17,241 or getting your pocket picked. 346 00:19:17,866 --> 00:19:20,410 Well, thank you, but I think I'll just stay here. 347 00:19:20,494 --> 00:19:23,664 I didn't get much sleep last week, what with all that noisy sex from… 348 00:19:23,747 --> 00:19:25,207 - not me… the Australians. - The Australians. 349 00:19:25,290 --> 00:19:26,875 - Yes, no, I remember. - Yeah. Exactly. 350 00:19:26,959 --> 00:19:29,545 And you know how nervous I get when I'm watching your games. 351 00:19:29,628 --> 00:19:31,380 So I think I'll just stay put 352 00:19:31,463 --> 00:19:34,091 and let you go beat the pants off those Manchesterians. 353 00:19:34,174 --> 00:19:35,384 Mancunians. 354 00:19:35,467 --> 00:19:38,303 And then I'll have a home-cooked meal waiting for you when you get back. 355 00:19:38,387 --> 00:19:39,471 It's been too long. 356 00:19:40,055 --> 00:19:43,433 Yeah. No, that'll be nice. Okay. 357 00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:46,895 Well, then I'll see you in the morning. 358 00:19:47,938 --> 00:19:48,939 Hey… 359 00:19:51,275 --> 00:19:54,278 Are you still having those episodes? 360 00:19:55,445 --> 00:19:58,490 - You know. - The panic attacks. 361 00:19:58,574 --> 00:19:59,700 Yeah. 362 00:20:01,493 --> 00:20:03,579 No, no. Not recently. 363 00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:07,708 You know, I've actually been talking to this therapist. 364 00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:09,710 Let me guess. It's all my fault. 365 00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:12,796 No, Mom. No, of course not. No, but… 366 00:20:14,631 --> 00:20:16,550 Well, I mean, It's really helped. 367 00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:18,177 Good, good, good, good, good, good. 368 00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:21,180 Yeah. You ever thought about talking to someone? 369 00:20:21,263 --> 00:20:25,434 Oh, no. That is not my cup of tea. And you know I love my tea. 370 00:20:28,020 --> 00:20:29,062 Good night, Mom. 371 00:20:29,146 --> 00:20:32,482 Good night, sweetie. Thank you for the bed. 372 00:20:33,192 --> 00:20:34,193 You're welcome. 373 00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:51,668 Hey, hot dog. Y'all joining us today? 374 00:20:51,752 --> 00:20:54,046 - Well, we're all in this together, Ted. - Yeah. 375 00:20:54,129 --> 00:20:56,298 I also received a strongly worded text from Nora 376 00:20:56,381 --> 00:20:58,175 demanding I stop using my private jet. 377 00:20:58,258 --> 00:20:59,259 Why? 378 00:20:59,343 --> 00:21:01,512 - The environment. - Oh, yeah. 379 00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:04,097 - Goddamn environment. - Yeah. 380 00:21:04,181 --> 00:21:05,390 Yep. 381 00:21:05,474 --> 00:21:06,475 All right. 382 00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:13,273 Hi. 383 00:21:14,191 --> 00:21:15,776 - Hey. - How's he doing? 384 00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:25,077 Fucking hell. 385 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:26,203 I'll talk to him. 386 00:21:27,788 --> 00:21:28,789 Right. 387 00:21:29,790 --> 00:21:34,920 Ladies and gentlemen. Let our journey commence. 388 00:21:37,422 --> 00:21:39,758 Look at Ken. Boy, he cleans up nice, don't he? 389 00:21:39,842 --> 00:21:41,677 - You should see him in drag. - Really? 390 00:21:45,222 --> 00:21:47,015 There you go. Well take your time. 391 00:21:47,099 --> 00:21:50,310 And while you wait, do snack on some nuts. And I'll be back with your drinks. 392 00:21:50,394 --> 00:21:51,380 - All right? - Thank you. 393 00:21:51,395 --> 00:21:54,773 Hey, hey. Oi, oi, oi. Do you know who this is? 394 00:21:54,857 --> 00:21:56,233 Your son? 395 00:21:56,817 --> 00:21:58,151 What? No. 396 00:21:58,235 --> 00:21:59,653 Our waiter? 397 00:21:59,736 --> 00:22:03,740 Bloody hell, you two are a right pair. No, I mean do you know who he was? 398 00:22:03,824 --> 00:22:05,450 I don't know. 399 00:22:05,534 --> 00:22:07,494 Only the manager of West Ham United. 400 00:22:08,871 --> 00:22:11,164 Right. You're the Wonder Kid. 401 00:22:11,248 --> 00:22:13,125 Yes, that's it. I said Wonder Kid. 402 00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:17,212 This man right here went from kit man to assistant coach, 403 00:22:17,296 --> 00:22:21,592 to manager, to top of the league, and now he's my head waiter. 404 00:22:22,801 --> 00:22:23,802 I'm so sorry. 405 00:22:24,678 --> 00:22:26,263 Anyway, nice talking to you. 406 00:22:27,014 --> 00:22:29,683 Please try the fish. We've got a ton of it out back. 407 00:22:29,766 --> 00:22:32,394 - All right. Fish, fish, fish, fish, fish. - Yep, yep. 408 00:22:32,477 --> 00:22:35,731 Was it drugs? I done drugs. I get it. 409 00:22:35,814 --> 00:22:38,442 No, no. No, I just like working here. 410 00:22:39,401 --> 00:22:41,028 And that's my girlfriend. 411 00:22:43,322 --> 00:22:46,116 Anyway, enjoy the nuts. I'll go and get your drinks, okay? 412 00:22:47,910 --> 00:22:49,077 Definitely drugs. 413 00:22:49,161 --> 00:22:50,329 Oh, yeah. Definitely. 414 00:22:51,330 --> 00:22:52,497 But which ones? 415 00:23:13,936 --> 00:23:15,062 Hi. 416 00:23:15,145 --> 00:23:16,188 Hey. 417 00:23:17,272 --> 00:23:18,272 Can I come in? 418 00:23:18,690 --> 00:23:19,635 Yeah, yeah. Sure. 419 00:23:19,650 --> 00:23:21,902 Come in. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, what's up, yeah? 420 00:23:24,112 --> 00:23:25,948 I just wanted to come and see how you're doing. 421 00:23:27,574 --> 00:23:28,574 Roy told you. 422 00:23:29,117 --> 00:23:32,412 Well, he's worried about you. Is that okay? 423 00:23:33,205 --> 00:23:34,915 Yeah. Yeah, it's fine. 424 00:23:34,998 --> 00:23:37,584 I'm fine. I'm good. I'm great. 425 00:23:37,668 --> 00:23:41,213 In fact, I think I'm the best that I've ever been. 426 00:23:41,964 --> 00:23:42,965 You know? 427 00:23:45,759 --> 00:23:49,179 There's something so sad about a suitcase. Do you know what I mean? It's like… 428 00:23:51,473 --> 00:23:54,643 It's like a drawer without a home. 429 00:23:58,146 --> 00:24:00,774 Hey, Jamie. Look at me. 430 00:24:01,525 --> 00:24:04,862 - You've got a lot going on right now. - There's a lot going on, yeah. 431 00:24:04,945 --> 00:24:07,739 This is the first time you've played back home since you left. 432 00:24:09,032 --> 00:24:10,325 The crowd's gonna hate you. 433 00:24:10,409 --> 00:24:13,871 And the person who's gonna be booing the loudest in the crowd is your dad. 434 00:24:13,954 --> 00:24:15,497 I didn't think of that. Yeah. 435 00:24:15,581 --> 00:24:18,000 And I know a lot of people are shit-talking your hair online. 436 00:24:18,083 --> 00:24:20,919 - They're what? - No! Think about it. 437 00:24:21,003 --> 00:24:22,588 If you guys win tomorrow, 438 00:24:22,671 --> 00:24:26,675 then you will be on the precipice of achieving everything 439 00:24:26,758 --> 00:24:27,926 that you've ever dreamed of. 440 00:24:29,678 --> 00:24:31,138 - Oh, my God. - Shit! 441 00:24:31,221 --> 00:24:32,264 Sorry, Jamie. 442 00:24:51,575 --> 00:24:52,576 Here. 443 00:24:53,577 --> 00:24:54,578 Cheers. 444 00:24:56,038 --> 00:24:57,331 How'd it go with Jamie? 445 00:24:57,414 --> 00:24:59,249 Yeah, I fucked it. I made it worse. 446 00:24:59,875 --> 00:25:01,877 Shit. 447 00:25:03,712 --> 00:25:04,796 Hello, Roy and Keeley. 448 00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:08,175 Good to see you both next to each other like before. 449 00:25:08,258 --> 00:25:11,386 No. We're just sitting together as friends. 450 00:25:11,887 --> 00:25:13,263 Yeah, and she just looks very nice. 451 00:25:14,932 --> 00:25:16,475 Nora Ephron. 452 00:25:17,059 --> 00:25:19,144 - I'm saying my apology. - Who? 453 00:25:19,228 --> 00:25:20,562 Carl Bernstein's ex. 454 00:25:38,705 --> 00:25:43,710 Don't cry, Shop Girl. Don't cry. 455 00:25:47,339 --> 00:25:48,757 I wanted it to be you. 456 00:25:51,218 --> 00:25:54,304 I wanted it to be you so badly. 457 00:26:19,621 --> 00:26:22,124 I mean, Sleepless in Seattle is still a far superior film. 458 00:26:22,207 --> 00:26:23,542 - Not now. - I'm just saying. 459 00:26:29,756 --> 00:26:30,757 Whoo! 460 00:26:33,260 --> 00:26:35,846 All right. Listen up, you big softies. 461 00:26:35,929 --> 00:26:38,640 10:00 p.m., lights out. Then get yourselves some beauty sleep 462 00:26:38,724 --> 00:26:40,350 for tomorrow's big meet-cute with Man City, 463 00:26:40,434 --> 00:26:41,476 - you hear? - Whoo! 464 00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:43,145 All right, "Ephron" on three. One, two, three! 465 00:26:43,228 --> 00:26:44,688 - Ephron! - There you go. 466 00:26:45,522 --> 00:26:47,024 - That was Dave Chappelle. - Yeah. 467 00:26:47,107 --> 00:26:48,942 Not bad, yeah? Hey, y'all seen that before? 468 00:26:49,026 --> 00:26:50,986 - First time? First time, yeah? - First time. 469 00:26:51,069 --> 00:26:52,404 It's a goody. It was a goody. 470 00:26:52,487 --> 00:26:55,157 You gotta see Sleepless in Seattle, though. You know, this is why… 471 00:28:15,362 --> 00:28:16,530 The fuck is he? 472 00:28:16,613 --> 00:28:17,906 I don't know. You've lost him. 473 00:28:18,407 --> 00:28:21,034 - You said he went down here. - I did not. You said that. 474 00:28:21,785 --> 00:28:23,328 No. I said he's in a tunnel, 475 00:28:23,412 --> 00:28:26,248 - I didn't say he was in this tunnel. - Well, there's no other tunnel, is there? 476 00:28:26,748 --> 00:28:29,001 I don't believe it. You've lost Jamie Tartt. 477 00:28:29,084 --> 00:28:31,420 - You can't lose Jamie Tartt. - Well, you have. 478 00:28:32,087 --> 00:28:34,298 - Fucking hell! - Why are you following me? 479 00:28:34,381 --> 00:28:36,383 Just wanted to make sure you're okay, you prick. 480 00:28:37,467 --> 00:28:40,137 What's going on, Jamie? Are you buying drugs? 481 00:28:43,849 --> 00:28:44,933 Come on. 482 00:28:55,235 --> 00:28:57,404 - Are you joking? Oi! - How'd you miss? 483 00:28:59,114 --> 00:29:01,700 - Are you Jamie Tartt? - Yeah. 484 00:29:02,326 --> 00:29:03,410 More like Jamie Fart. 485 00:29:03,493 --> 00:29:06,121 - Screw you, dickhead! Prick! - Yeah, who are you? 486 00:29:06,205 --> 00:29:07,831 City's gonna fuck you up tomorrow. 487 00:29:07,915 --> 00:29:09,666 Yeah, you spaz. You little twat! 488 00:29:09,750 --> 00:29:11,877 - Yeah, it's not for you, pussy! - Yeah, go on! 489 00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:13,879 - Walk. Bye! - Bye. 490 00:29:13,962 --> 00:29:15,297 I smell your bum from here. 491 00:29:19,843 --> 00:29:21,011 Good lads. 492 00:29:21,094 --> 00:29:23,222 Oh, my gosh! 493 00:29:23,305 --> 00:29:24,890 - That was sick! - Come on! 494 00:29:24,973 --> 00:29:27,226 - Yes, yes! - Yeah! Come on! 495 00:29:31,939 --> 00:29:34,858 Hey! Jamie! 496 00:29:34,942 --> 00:29:36,109 How you doing, Simon? 497 00:29:36,193 --> 00:29:39,112 - This is Keeley, that's Roy. - Come on in, come on in. 498 00:29:39,196 --> 00:29:41,573 - How are you, mate? Good seeing you, man. - Yeah, great. 499 00:29:41,657 --> 00:29:42,657 - Hi! - Hello. 500 00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:44,201 Hello. 501 00:29:45,786 --> 00:29:47,746 Georgie, we've got visitors. 502 00:29:48,247 --> 00:29:50,457 What was that, love? Someone at the door? 503 00:29:54,211 --> 00:29:55,212 Hello, Mommy. 504 00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:58,507 Jamie! 505 00:29:59,341 --> 00:30:02,845 Mommy, I'd like to introduce you to Keeley, and this hairy prick's Roy. 506 00:30:02,928 --> 00:30:04,596 - Hi. - Hey, you. 507 00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:07,349 Hi! It's lovely to finally meet you both. 508 00:30:07,432 --> 00:30:09,810 I'd come and give you a hug, but I'm not letting go of this one. 509 00:30:12,271 --> 00:30:13,272 There they go. 510 00:30:13,772 --> 00:30:16,066 Right, who wants some sweet treats? 511 00:30:16,149 --> 00:30:18,485 Look at your gorgeous face. I love it. 512 00:30:19,194 --> 00:30:21,655 - How have you been? Look at you. - Mom. You look… 513 00:30:23,574 --> 00:30:26,743 It was just poopy. You know, it really upset me. 514 00:30:27,536 --> 00:30:30,747 This guy on Twitter, he kept saying that it was blonde, 515 00:30:30,831 --> 00:30:34,126 but I'm like, "It's fucking walnut mist, mate." 516 00:30:34,209 --> 00:30:35,961 - Yeah, obviously. - Yeah. 517 00:30:36,044 --> 00:30:38,046 He's done a lovely job. It's dead natural. 518 00:30:41,758 --> 00:30:44,094 - What do you think? - It's really yummy. 519 00:30:45,012 --> 00:30:47,931 - Hey. - It's fucking delicious. 520 00:30:48,599 --> 00:30:52,436 Well, it's a Paul Hollywood recipe, but I've gone a little bit rogue on it. 521 00:30:53,145 --> 00:30:54,438 - Right. - Babes, 522 00:30:55,022 --> 00:30:57,191 do you wanna give Roy and Keeley the grand tour? 523 00:30:57,691 --> 00:30:58,859 Show them around a bit. 524 00:30:58,942 --> 00:31:01,361 Yes! Good idea. Thank… Oops! 525 00:31:02,738 --> 00:31:05,824 Right, follow me. We will start in the kitchen, aka my laboratory. 526 00:31:06,700 --> 00:31:09,620 I've just got a new bain-marie, and it's copperplated. 527 00:31:10,204 --> 00:31:12,581 Wow. What does that mean? It sounds expensive. 528 00:31:17,419 --> 00:31:20,589 Have you ever considered doing a happy hour at the Taste of Athens? 529 00:31:21,423 --> 00:31:24,801 I've literally never thought about work the second after leaving work. 530 00:31:24,885 --> 00:31:26,428 Or even while there, really. 531 00:31:33,101 --> 00:31:34,853 I don't think you should work there anymore. 532 00:31:35,729 --> 00:31:37,564 Why? I'm a great waiter. 533 00:31:38,065 --> 00:31:41,276 Yes. It's weird how great of a waiter you are. 534 00:31:44,404 --> 00:31:47,324 But you're a coach. They want you back at Richmond. 535 00:31:48,617 --> 00:31:49,743 You should go. 536 00:31:52,996 --> 00:31:55,457 Thing is, it didn't really end too well for me there. 537 00:31:56,124 --> 00:32:00,420 I think a lot of that was my fault. Well, it was all my fault. 538 00:32:02,089 --> 00:32:04,383 Look, after this season, I'll try and get another coaching job, 539 00:32:04,466 --> 00:32:06,593 just not at Richmond, okay? 540 00:32:08,762 --> 00:32:11,723 I will. I promise. I just… Yeah. 541 00:32:16,353 --> 00:32:18,897 Yeah? You hungry? Do you want food? 542 00:32:21,108 --> 00:32:23,986 Dunno. Can I have some nuts while I think about it? 543 00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:27,072 Right. Where are they? 544 00:32:28,031 --> 00:32:30,367 Here's the genius behind the nuts, okay? 545 00:32:31,368 --> 00:32:34,162 They make people thirsty. Yeah? 546 00:32:34,246 --> 00:32:39,126 I'm giving away, what, five p on nuts and taking in five quid on beer. 547 00:32:39,668 --> 00:32:41,587 That's smart. Right? 548 00:32:42,588 --> 00:32:44,631 Why am I the only person thinking about this stuff? 549 00:32:46,758 --> 00:32:47,759 You doing all right? 550 00:32:49,469 --> 00:32:51,805 Yeah. Yeah, everything's fine. 551 00:32:55,100 --> 00:32:56,101 Okay. 552 00:32:58,478 --> 00:33:01,398 Come on. Out with it. 553 00:33:07,571 --> 00:33:08,572 You heard from Dad? 554 00:33:09,531 --> 00:33:10,616 No. 555 00:33:11,450 --> 00:33:13,785 Haven't heard from that human ball sack in ages. 556 00:33:15,787 --> 00:33:16,788 You? 557 00:33:17,956 --> 00:33:19,208 No, not since Wembley. 558 00:33:24,087 --> 00:33:26,965 Thought I was finally rid of him, but… 559 00:33:31,345 --> 00:33:33,722 …I always did what I did… 560 00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:38,936 because fuck him, you know? 561 00:33:39,019 --> 00:33:42,147 And now that I don't give a shit about him, it's like… 562 00:33:49,238 --> 00:33:51,990 You know when some guys can't make their willies go hard? 563 00:33:53,325 --> 00:33:54,451 You mean impotent? 564 00:33:55,077 --> 00:33:57,079 Yeah. It's like I got that, but… 565 00:33:59,957 --> 00:34:01,583 but it's like I got it in… 566 00:34:04,461 --> 00:34:06,004 It's like I got it in my soul. 567 00:34:12,761 --> 00:34:17,766 And here is the main attraction. Jamie's room. 568 00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:30,320 - Fucking hell. - Yes. 569 00:34:30,404 --> 00:34:32,822 Many posters have come and gone over the years. 570 00:34:32,906 --> 00:34:35,284 Henry, Gerrard, Ronaldo. 571 00:34:36,326 --> 00:34:38,411 But Roy Kent always remains. 572 00:34:40,706 --> 00:34:42,291 Meat pies are done. Excuse me. 573 00:34:46,253 --> 00:34:47,920 Fucking hell. 574 00:34:50,299 --> 00:34:51,300 Jamie… 575 00:34:54,594 --> 00:34:58,932 your father, he is who he is. 576 00:35:00,976 --> 00:35:04,521 And he is never, ever, ever gonna change. 577 00:35:06,773 --> 00:35:07,900 And like it or not, 578 00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:11,653 you've ended up being who you are so that you can prove him wrong. 579 00:35:15,365 --> 00:35:16,617 And you are amazing. 580 00:35:20,329 --> 00:35:21,705 You are. 581 00:35:27,211 --> 00:35:29,004 When you come on for England… 582 00:35:32,925 --> 00:35:35,177 Jesus, Jamie, I wept. 583 00:35:36,970 --> 00:35:38,805 I bawled me fucking eyes out. 584 00:35:44,895 --> 00:35:49,441 And, yeah, your dad will be in the stands tomorrow, 585 00:35:49,525 --> 00:35:51,818 pissed out of his head, rooting against you. 586 00:35:54,655 --> 00:35:55,906 And it won't matter. 587 00:36:00,410 --> 00:36:02,996 You don't have anything to prove to that toerag. 588 00:36:11,630 --> 00:36:15,759 You're not lost, my sexy little baby. 589 00:36:19,555 --> 00:36:24,101 You're just not sure which direction you're going in yet. 590 00:36:38,282 --> 00:36:40,909 This is fucking weird. 591 00:36:42,452 --> 00:36:45,622 There's a lot of weird to choose from. Can you be more specific? 592 00:36:48,834 --> 00:36:49,835 You and me… 593 00:36:52,296 --> 00:36:54,715 sitting on Jamie Tartt's childhood bed… 594 00:36:57,009 --> 00:37:00,637 being all fucking concerned about him and shit. 595 00:37:03,557 --> 00:37:08,061 Yeah. Good on us, Roy-o. 596 00:37:09,271 --> 00:37:10,439 Thanks, bud. 597 00:37:10,939 --> 00:37:12,524 You're welcome, pal. 598 00:37:16,403 --> 00:37:17,613 I don't wanna be friends. 599 00:37:19,740 --> 00:37:22,576 - You don't? - Uh-uh. 600 00:37:23,827 --> 00:37:27,206 I don't wanna be just friends. 601 00:37:37,299 --> 00:37:38,675 Roy… 602 00:37:38,759 --> 00:37:40,385 Well, guys, I think we should probably get… 603 00:37:44,848 --> 00:37:45,974 - You good to go? - Yeah. 604 00:37:46,975 --> 00:37:47,976 Yeah. 605 00:37:48,769 --> 00:37:49,770 Right. 606 00:38:00,697 --> 00:38:02,115 - I love you. - I love you. 607 00:38:02,199 --> 00:38:04,159 - Good to see you. - Good to see you too. 608 00:38:04,743 --> 00:38:05,911 Right. 609 00:38:05,994 --> 00:38:07,371 Hey, listen to me. 610 00:38:07,454 --> 00:38:10,165 I don't care if you lose by ten goals tomorrow. 611 00:38:10,249 --> 00:38:12,793 I just want you to be happy. Okay, Son? 612 00:38:13,752 --> 00:38:16,213 Okay. Love you, Mommy. 613 00:38:17,130 --> 00:38:18,257 I love you. 614 00:38:19,716 --> 00:38:22,135 - See you soon. - See you soon. All right, come on. 615 00:38:22,219 --> 00:38:24,263 - Off you go. Go home. - All right. Bye. 616 00:38:25,055 --> 00:38:26,473 It was great to meet you. 617 00:38:27,057 --> 00:38:28,183 Bye. 618 00:38:28,267 --> 00:38:30,936 - One for the road. - This way, babe. 619 00:38:31,019 --> 00:38:33,021 See you later. Love… Love you. 620 00:38:39,152 --> 00:38:42,155 We should go and have cocktails. 621 00:38:51,164 --> 00:38:55,210 …the latest in workout technology like yoga mats! 622 00:38:56,253 --> 00:38:59,089 Manchester has much to offer when it comes to arts and culture, 623 00:38:59,173 --> 00:39:02,259 including the Greater Manchester Police Museum! 624 00:39:03,427 --> 00:39:06,847 The rainy city is also known as well for science and technology, 625 00:39:06,930 --> 00:39:10,434 for it was right here in 1917 626 00:39:10,517 --> 00:39:14,229 that Ernest Rutherford first split the atom. 627 00:39:15,105 --> 00:39:19,193 And you'll split your sides laughing at Manchester's many comedy clubs 628 00:39:19,276 --> 00:39:22,988 and improvised murder mystery dinner theaters. And, of course 629 00:39:23,071 --> 00:39:27,201 your trip wouldn't be complete without heading to Etihad Stadium, 630 00:39:27,284 --> 00:39:31,622 - home of the Manchester… - Blue moon 631 00:39:31,705 --> 00:39:38,128 You saw me standing alone 632 00:39:38,212 --> 00:39:44,927 Without a dream in my heart 633 00:39:45,010 --> 00:39:50,974 Without a love of my own 634 00:39:53,393 --> 00:39:58,732 I said, blue moon You saw me standing alone 635 00:39:58,815 --> 00:40:03,237 Without a dream in my heart Without a love of my own… 636 00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:06,657 Richmond should have a classic old song for our fans to sing. 637 00:40:07,366 --> 00:40:11,203 We did. When Freddie Mercury briefly owned the team in 1980, 638 00:40:11,286 --> 00:40:13,830 he tried to make "Fat Bottomed Girls" the team anthem. 639 00:40:14,498 --> 00:40:17,251 - Didn't work out. - Did a bunch of people get offended? 640 00:40:17,334 --> 00:40:19,753 Just the flat-bottomed girls really. 641 00:40:19,837 --> 00:40:21,004 Yeah. 642 00:40:21,088 --> 00:40:23,340 My father went to art school with Freddie Mercury. 643 00:40:23,423 --> 00:40:24,716 What? 644 00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:29,263 I mean, everyone always talks about his amazing four-octave vocal range. 645 00:40:29,346 --> 00:40:31,265 But my father always insisted 646 00:40:31,348 --> 00:40:34,852 that if you actually asked Freddie what his greatest talent was, 647 00:40:34,935 --> 00:40:36,770 he would've said flipping straights. 648 00:40:38,772 --> 00:40:41,525 - Come on, Richmond! - You lads still have a way! 649 00:40:44,611 --> 00:40:46,446 Hey! Hey! 650 00:40:46,530 --> 00:40:49,324 Hey, thanks for saving us a seat. How long have you been waiting? 651 00:40:49,408 --> 00:40:51,034 Mae let me sleep here last night. 652 00:40:51,118 --> 00:40:53,871 - How many beers do you want? - Three, Mae. 653 00:40:54,538 --> 00:40:57,958 How many beers do you want if you can't order again before halftime? 654 00:40:58,625 --> 00:40:59,751 - Twelve. - Twelve. 655 00:41:00,335 --> 00:41:04,006 Welcome, everyone. Today, Manchester City hosts AFC Richmond. 656 00:41:04,089 --> 00:41:09,136 A first-ever win at the Etihad Stadium for the Greyhounds, however unlikely, 657 00:41:09,219 --> 00:41:12,014 leaves the door open next week for Ted Lasso's men 658 00:41:12,097 --> 00:41:15,684 to complete the Cinderella story their fans have been dreaming of. 659 00:41:15,767 --> 00:41:17,269 There he is. Look at him. 660 00:41:17,352 --> 00:41:19,646 The City faithful are letting Jamie Tartt know 661 00:41:19,730 --> 00:41:24,109 how they feel about their former player who left them for reality television. 662 00:41:24,193 --> 00:41:25,736 Welcome home, dickhead! 663 00:41:26,778 --> 00:41:29,531 Perhaps not the homecoming he might have dreamt of. 664 00:41:30,824 --> 00:41:31,810 Oh, boy. 665 00:41:31,825 --> 00:41:35,454 Come on, Son. That's it, that's it. Fucking bastards. 666 00:41:35,537 --> 00:41:37,998 City can clinch the title with a win today. 667 00:41:38,081 --> 00:41:41,335 A loss makes things very interesting next week. 668 00:41:41,418 --> 00:41:45,464 We find out in 90 minutes that starts now. 669 00:41:51,637 --> 00:41:52,721 Clattered! 670 00:41:52,804 --> 00:41:55,015 Tartt can expect a lot of that today. 671 00:42:03,148 --> 00:42:06,777 Here are some complimentary nuts. And I'll be back to get your drinks. Okay? 672 00:42:07,486 --> 00:42:11,156 Physical play from City as Tartt pushes Richmond forward. 673 00:42:12,157 --> 00:42:14,910 - Tartt has options. - Colin's open. 674 00:42:17,162 --> 00:42:19,331 A nifty move finds Bumbercatch. 675 00:42:19,414 --> 00:42:22,042 The Swiss crosses to the far post. Hughes! 676 00:42:22,668 --> 00:42:24,378 - The match has barely begun… - Yes. 677 00:42:24,461 --> 00:42:29,424 …and the Welshman fires the Greyhounds into the lead with a commanding header. 678 00:42:29,508 --> 00:42:30,843 There we go. 679 00:42:30,926 --> 00:42:34,346 That goal was all down to Tartt. He's seeing two passes ahead. 680 00:42:34,429 --> 00:42:37,474 Brilliant play indeed from the unsinkable Jamie Tartt. 681 00:42:37,558 --> 00:42:42,271 Colin Hughes with the exclamation point, and Richmond leads 1-nil. 682 00:42:48,318 --> 00:42:49,319 Yes! 683 00:42:51,196 --> 00:42:52,573 Leslie, what you doing? 684 00:42:52,656 --> 00:42:55,284 I'll celebrate when the final whistle has blown. 685 00:42:55,367 --> 00:42:57,077 I don't wanna move and jinx it. 686 00:42:58,370 --> 00:42:59,371 Okay. 687 00:43:03,709 --> 00:43:05,919 With the great Pep Guardiola at the controls, 688 00:43:06,003 --> 00:43:09,131 rest assured, City won't be quaking in their boots. 689 00:43:09,214 --> 00:43:11,925 What's this sharp-dressed son of a gun got cookin' now, huh? 690 00:43:12,009 --> 00:43:13,010 Go. 691 00:43:13,093 --> 00:43:15,512 We know Pep will make the right adjustments. He always does. 692 00:43:15,596 --> 00:43:16,597 Hold on tight. 693 00:43:17,306 --> 00:43:18,432 All right! Here we go! 694 00:43:18,515 --> 00:43:22,728 Halftime approaches, and the Premier League title remains undecided. 695 00:43:24,271 --> 00:43:27,357 Jamie Tartt's hometown fans are still letting him have it. 696 00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:31,236 City continuing to target Richmond's number nine. 697 00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:34,031 Case in point, as Tartt is knocked off the ball. 698 00:43:38,076 --> 00:43:39,953 And here comes City. 699 00:43:40,037 --> 00:43:43,999 De Villardi shoots! Van Damme makes a terrific save. 700 00:43:46,543 --> 00:43:50,130 City making Tartt fight for every inch out there. 701 00:43:52,382 --> 00:43:54,968 Piss off back down South, pretty boy! 702 00:43:55,052 --> 00:43:58,180 Tough crowd, Jamie Tartt. Tough crowd. 703 00:43:58,764 --> 00:44:00,265 We're in the 65th minute. 704 00:44:00,349 --> 00:44:03,560 And since Richmond's early goal, it's been one-way traffic. 705 00:44:03,644 --> 00:44:08,398 City asking plenty of questions, but so far Richmond are not listening. 706 00:44:10,943 --> 00:44:13,070 Oh, a sliver of space for De Villardi. 707 00:44:13,654 --> 00:44:15,489 Is this the equalizer? 708 00:44:15,572 --> 00:44:19,451 No! A swashbuckling save by the masked Canadian. 709 00:44:19,535 --> 00:44:20,911 Van damn he's been good today! 710 00:44:20,994 --> 00:44:22,287 Come on! 711 00:44:22,371 --> 00:44:23,372 Yeah! 712 00:44:23,455 --> 00:44:25,832 Nearing the 80-minute mark, 713 00:44:25,916 --> 00:44:27,459 Richmond are defending their one-goal lead. 714 00:44:29,378 --> 00:44:31,213 Ndour takes the corner. 715 00:44:31,296 --> 00:44:34,466 Van Damme races off his line to punch, but it finds Elokobi. 716 00:44:34,550 --> 00:44:36,218 De Villardi has an open goal. 717 00:44:36,301 --> 00:44:39,388 - Jamie Tartt soars to clear the danger! - Yes, Jamie! 718 00:44:40,889 --> 00:44:41,890 Yes, Jamie! 719 00:44:42,558 --> 00:44:46,311 Oh, no. It looks like Tartt is in quite a bit of pain. 720 00:44:46,895 --> 00:44:48,105 It's his ankle, Arlo. 721 00:44:48,188 --> 00:44:51,024 - He landed on it wrong. - Get up, you soft prick! 722 00:44:53,652 --> 00:44:54,653 Come on. 723 00:44:54,736 --> 00:44:55,988 Is he okay? 724 00:44:56,488 --> 00:44:57,489 Let's go. 725 00:45:00,284 --> 00:45:01,410 Roberts! Get warm. 726 00:45:01,910 --> 00:45:03,453 - I'm good, good. Go, bro. Go, go. - You good? 727 00:45:07,291 --> 00:45:10,169 Now, hold on. He's up, he's up, he's up. Okay. 728 00:45:10,252 --> 00:45:12,045 It appears he'll give it a go. 729 00:45:12,129 --> 00:45:15,757 Good news for Richmond, who can ill afford to play without their star. 730 00:45:15,841 --> 00:45:18,093 Not with this much at stake. 731 00:45:24,641 --> 00:45:26,059 We may have spoken too soon, Chris. 732 00:45:26,143 --> 00:45:30,439 Tartt tried to soldier on, but now he's in some distress and may require attention. 733 00:45:30,522 --> 00:45:31,523 Oh, my God. 734 00:45:38,071 --> 00:45:39,114 Up you go. 735 00:45:39,990 --> 00:45:41,158 Get you on the walk. 736 00:45:41,742 --> 00:45:43,410 Fudge. 737 00:45:50,834 --> 00:45:52,085 - We're finished. We're done. - Come on. 738 00:45:52,169 --> 00:45:53,795 - We're done. - Come on, James. 739 00:45:56,757 --> 00:45:58,967 Roberts! You're going in. 740 00:45:59,051 --> 00:46:00,594 Whoa, hold on, hold on. Hey, hey, 741 00:46:00,677 --> 00:46:02,304 hey, don't hop out there quite yet, Tan, okay? 742 00:46:02,888 --> 00:46:05,224 - Coach, we're a man down. - I know, Coach. Just give me one second. 743 00:46:06,725 --> 00:46:08,852 Hey, Jamie, are you sure you can't get back out there? 744 00:46:10,187 --> 00:46:11,396 - Yeah. - Yeah? 745 00:46:11,480 --> 00:46:12,689 No. 746 00:46:12,773 --> 00:46:14,191 - Hey, Coach! - Yeah. 747 00:46:14,274 --> 00:46:15,567 You wanna play with ten men? 748 00:46:15,651 --> 00:46:18,237 Heck yeah! Right? 749 00:46:18,946 --> 00:46:20,739 We're just gonna wait and see, okay? 750 00:46:21,657 --> 00:46:23,283 And we'll check in on you, all right? 751 00:46:23,367 --> 00:46:26,495 You two, do me a favor. Heal him. Use all your tricks, please. 752 00:46:28,163 --> 00:46:30,666 Okay. Yeah. We're gonna give him a couple minutes. 753 00:46:30,749 --> 00:46:33,544 - He's gonna be fine. Here we go. Come on! - Ted Lasso elects to wait, 754 00:46:33,627 --> 00:46:37,089 leaving ten Greyhounds against City's mighty 11. 755 00:46:37,714 --> 00:46:39,591 City looking for the equalizer. 756 00:46:39,675 --> 00:46:42,845 And Orellano shoots. Van Damme is there! And there again! 757 00:46:44,137 --> 00:46:45,430 And again! 758 00:46:45,514 --> 00:46:48,851 There's just no penetrating the mask of Van Damme! 759 00:46:48,934 --> 00:46:51,186 With his team facing relentless pressure, 760 00:46:51,270 --> 00:46:52,980 Ted Lasso is gambling with each 761 00:46:53,063 --> 00:46:55,232 - passing second he plays with a man down. - I'm gonna need a word, Nate. 762 00:46:55,315 --> 00:46:56,608 - In my office, yeah? - Yeah. 763 00:46:56,692 --> 00:46:59,236 I love gambling. Makes me feel alive. 764 00:46:59,319 --> 00:47:01,530 You should probably talk to somebody about that, Chris. 765 00:47:02,698 --> 00:47:05,200 Hello, mate. Come in. Take a seat. 766 00:47:06,201 --> 00:47:07,201 Here we go. 767 00:47:11,498 --> 00:47:12,791 Am I getting promoted? 768 00:47:13,500 --> 00:47:14,710 Nate, I gotta let you go. 769 00:47:16,879 --> 00:47:19,131 - Was it 'cause I was watching telly? - No. 770 00:47:19,214 --> 00:47:20,465 I'm not pushing desserts hard enough? 771 00:47:20,549 --> 00:47:22,885 No, no, no. It's nothing you've done. 772 00:47:22,968 --> 00:47:27,764 You're my top man. You're on time, you don't steal, you're sober. 773 00:47:28,265 --> 00:47:30,517 You're like my little unicorn. You know what I mean? 774 00:47:31,268 --> 00:47:35,522 And it breaks my heart to say this, but Jade said if I didn't fire you, 775 00:47:35,606 --> 00:47:37,024 she was gonna report me to the… 776 00:47:37,941 --> 00:47:40,027 Well, I can't say who, because then you'd know what I've done. 777 00:47:40,110 --> 00:47:43,739 But my hands are tied. You gotta go. 778 00:47:46,408 --> 00:47:47,409 Yeah. 779 00:47:55,167 --> 00:47:56,418 Yeah! 780 00:47:56,502 --> 00:47:58,170 Chris, Richmond aren't playing with a keeper. 781 00:47:58,253 --> 00:48:00,255 They've got a brick wall in front of the goal. 782 00:48:00,339 --> 00:48:03,175 No, Arlo, that's a person. I can see his arms and legs. 783 00:48:03,258 --> 00:48:04,718 And his hideous mask. 784 00:48:04,801 --> 00:48:08,305 It seems like it's only a matter of time before City equalize. 785 00:48:08,388 --> 00:48:11,517 That's all they need to clinch the league title today. 786 00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:13,519 Hey, Coach, I don't want Jamie to play hurt. 787 00:48:14,019 --> 00:48:15,437 But we gotta make a decision here. 788 00:48:15,521 --> 00:48:16,897 Personally, I'm fine with him playing hurt. 789 00:48:16,980 --> 00:48:18,106 I played hurt all the time. 790 00:48:18,190 --> 00:48:19,566 You can't walk up stairs. 791 00:48:19,650 --> 00:48:22,027 Okay. Let me go check, all right? 792 00:48:23,529 --> 00:48:25,531 Thanks, y'all. Thank you. 793 00:48:28,283 --> 00:48:29,785 What you looking for up there, Jamie? 794 00:48:30,369 --> 00:48:33,539 Looking for my dad. I can't find him. It's freaking me the fuck out. 795 00:48:33,622 --> 00:48:34,665 Yeah, I get that. 796 00:48:34,748 --> 00:48:37,125 It's like when you don't know where Freddy Krueger is. 797 00:48:37,209 --> 00:48:39,044 'Cause you know it's the second he's gonna pop up 798 00:48:39,127 --> 00:48:40,712 and stick that knife-hand of his in your face. 799 00:48:40,796 --> 00:48:42,631 Yeah, Freddy Krueger's fucking terrifying. 800 00:48:42,714 --> 00:48:44,383 Yeah, well, he had a rough childhood. 801 00:48:44,466 --> 00:48:46,051 And as we all know, hurt people hurt people. 802 00:48:46,134 --> 00:48:48,095 Sometimes they just do it with their knife-hands. 803 00:48:48,595 --> 00:48:49,888 When's the last time you saw your dad? 804 00:48:51,056 --> 00:48:52,140 Wembley. 805 00:48:54,142 --> 00:48:55,143 Y'all talk since then? 806 00:48:56,061 --> 00:48:57,061 Nope. 807 00:48:58,438 --> 00:49:00,399 Okay. If you could talk to him now, what would you say? 808 00:49:00,482 --> 00:49:02,192 I'd say, "Fuck you." 809 00:49:02,276 --> 00:49:03,527 Yeah. Makes sense. 810 00:49:04,152 --> 00:49:05,988 - Anything else? - Yeah. 811 00:49:06,572 --> 00:49:08,991 Yeah, I'd say, "Thank you." 812 00:49:13,579 --> 00:49:16,331 You know, Jamie, if hating your Pops ain't motivating you like it used to, 813 00:49:16,415 --> 00:49:18,000 it might be time to try something different. 814 00:49:20,002 --> 00:49:21,170 Just forgive him. 815 00:49:22,462 --> 00:49:23,839 Fuck no. I ain't giving him that. 816 00:49:23,922 --> 00:49:25,549 No. You ain't giving him anything. 817 00:49:26,049 --> 00:49:29,595 When you choose to do that, you're giving that to yourself. 818 00:49:37,227 --> 00:49:38,854 - Come on. - Okay. 819 00:49:40,355 --> 00:49:41,356 How do you feel? 820 00:49:42,608 --> 00:49:45,986 - Yeah. Yeah, I feel good, Coach. Yeah. - Yeah. See, the talk helped, right? 821 00:49:47,112 --> 00:49:49,281 Mostly the painkillers and the adrenaline, I think. But… 822 00:49:49,781 --> 00:49:51,783 But yeah, the talk helped, yeah. 823 00:49:51,867 --> 00:49:54,620 Good. Now get your buns out there. Let's go. 824 00:49:54,703 --> 00:49:56,038 Okay, okay. 825 00:50:05,380 --> 00:50:06,381 Come on. 826 00:50:10,594 --> 00:50:12,930 Here we fucking go. Come on, Jamie! 827 00:50:14,306 --> 00:50:17,392 Jamie Tartt with a dramatic return to play. 828 00:50:17,476 --> 00:50:20,896 And he makes sure he lets the City fans know all about it. 829 00:50:22,606 --> 00:50:25,817 That's it, baby! You fucking show 'em! 830 00:50:29,988 --> 00:50:31,031 Hey, come on, come on, come on. 831 00:50:31,114 --> 00:50:33,408 Jamie Tartt, do, do, do, do, do, do 832 00:50:33,492 --> 00:50:35,244 Jamie Tartt Do, do, do, do, do, do 833 00:50:36,662 --> 00:50:41,041 Richmond have their backs against the wall. It's De Villardi again. 834 00:50:41,124 --> 00:50:43,168 But Van Damme collects comfortably. 835 00:50:43,252 --> 00:50:48,590 And the Canadian, wasting no time, finds McAdoo. And Richmond are off! 836 00:50:49,842 --> 00:50:51,927 Oh, that's astonishing control from Tartt! 837 00:50:52,010 --> 00:50:53,387 Ooh! Ooh! 838 00:50:53,470 --> 00:50:56,139 What's happening? Thank you. 839 00:50:57,391 --> 00:50:58,475 Tartt cuts inside. 840 00:50:59,518 --> 00:51:00,519 And again. 841 00:51:01,937 --> 00:51:03,689 Oh, he's untouchable! 842 00:51:14,241 --> 00:51:17,202 - Go, Jamie! - Yes! Yeah! 843 00:51:20,581 --> 00:51:24,126 And Jamie Tartt all but clinches the win for Richmond 844 00:51:24,209 --> 00:51:26,920 - with a spectacular solo goal! - My goodness! Did you see that? 845 00:51:27,004 --> 00:51:29,590 Yes, Jamie! 846 00:51:31,049 --> 00:51:33,343 And a class move from the native Mancunian, 847 00:51:33,427 --> 00:51:36,471 not to celebrate against his former club. 848 00:51:40,601 --> 00:51:43,312 And Richmond with a late substitution. 849 00:51:48,609 --> 00:51:49,610 Attaboy, Jamie! 850 00:51:53,155 --> 00:51:54,239 Well done. 851 00:51:57,201 --> 00:51:59,411 Jamie Tartt, you fucking king! 852 00:52:01,121 --> 00:52:02,247 Tartt makes way. 853 00:52:02,331 --> 00:52:05,501 And listen to this response from the City supporters, 854 00:52:05,584 --> 00:52:09,004 an ovation for a visiting player who was also one of their own. 855 00:52:09,087 --> 00:52:11,798 - You don't hear this every day. - Come on. 856 00:52:11,882 --> 00:52:14,551 Just think of what it means for Tartt to hear this. 857 00:52:14,635 --> 00:52:17,179 - And what it means for his family. - Yes. Oh, my God. 858 00:52:17,888 --> 00:52:19,139 Oh, my God. 859 00:52:24,645 --> 00:52:27,272 - Fucking beautiful. - That was amazing. 860 00:52:36,156 --> 00:52:37,157 Jamie. 861 00:52:46,625 --> 00:52:47,668 He's a tough kid. 862 00:52:47,751 --> 00:52:49,336 His dad would have been proud. 863 00:52:55,592 --> 00:52:57,052 Credit where it's due. 864 00:52:57,135 --> 00:53:00,389 Lasso rolled the dice on Tartt's fitness and the team's talisman 865 00:53:00,472 --> 00:53:01,932 rose to the occasion. 866 00:53:03,684 --> 00:53:06,687 With time running out, City try and cross into the box. 867 00:53:06,770 --> 00:53:08,146 But again, Van Damme is there. 868 00:53:13,277 --> 00:53:16,405 And after that sterling performance from Richmond, 869 00:53:16,488 --> 00:53:19,992 the Premier League title will come down to the final week of the season. 870 00:53:20,075 --> 00:53:22,619 Chris, they could win the whole effing thing! 871 00:53:22,703 --> 00:53:25,205 Sorry for the almost brutal language there, folks. 872 00:53:25,289 --> 00:53:26,623 It's that time. Holy crap. 873 00:53:27,833 --> 00:53:30,669 - Good game. Congratulations. - Thanks, Coach. I appreciate it. 874 00:53:30,752 --> 00:53:33,005 Hey, I gotta be honest with you. You're a tough guy to beat, man. 875 00:53:33,589 --> 00:53:36,091 Nah, don't worry about wins or losses. 876 00:53:36,175 --> 00:53:39,553 Just help these guys be the best version of themselves on and off the pitch. 877 00:53:39,636 --> 00:53:41,221 This, at the end, is the most important thing. 878 00:53:41,305 --> 00:53:42,848 I couldn't agree more, Coach. 879 00:53:42,931 --> 00:53:44,349 All right, then. Take care. 880 00:53:49,146 --> 00:53:51,690 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 881 00:53:51,773 --> 00:53:54,234 - Boss. Hey, it's good to see you. - Good to see you too. 882 00:54:27,851 --> 00:54:30,395 - All right, lads. Listen up. - All right. Yo, what's up? 883 00:54:30,479 --> 00:54:32,606 We've got one more game, so that means 884 00:54:32,689 --> 00:54:35,317 a glass of water with every single alcoholic beverage tonight, all right? 885 00:54:36,777 --> 00:54:38,946 - We rolling? - No, no. I've gotta get this sorted out. 886 00:54:39,029 --> 00:54:40,405 But you have fun with your water, yeah? 887 00:54:44,368 --> 00:54:46,036 - There's my lad. Do you proud. - Nice. 888 00:54:46,119 --> 00:54:48,121 - Yeah, you bet, bruv. All right, love. - Hey, take care, bruv. 889 00:54:48,205 --> 00:54:49,373 - Love. - That's what I like, man. 890 00:54:49,456 --> 00:54:50,999 - Be good. Be good. - Rest up, man. 891 00:54:51,083 --> 00:54:52,835 Hey, listen, man. I wanna say I'm proud of you. 892 00:54:52,918 --> 00:54:55,420 - You played so well today, man. - Appreciate it, man. 893 00:54:55,504 --> 00:54:57,756 - You scored a goal. Come on. Hey. - Thanks, Jamie. 894 00:54:57,840 --> 00:54:59,550 Get better soon, hermano. Well done tonight. 895 00:54:59,633 --> 00:55:01,301 Thank you, man. Big love, amigo. 896 00:55:09,351 --> 00:55:11,270 All right, buddy. 897 00:55:11,770 --> 00:55:13,522 I will see you at karaoke. 898 00:55:13,605 --> 00:55:16,692 I will of course sign us up for "Islands in the Stream." 899 00:55:16,775 --> 00:55:18,360 But I'm calling dibs on Dolly. 900 00:55:18,443 --> 00:55:19,862 No can do, Coach. 901 00:55:21,280 --> 00:55:23,615 Mom's cooking dinner tonight. Last night in town. 902 00:55:23,699 --> 00:55:25,909 All right. Well, give Dottie my love. 903 00:55:25,993 --> 00:55:30,664 Will do. Actually, hold on a sec, Coach. Come here. Check this out. 904 00:55:36,336 --> 00:55:38,755 No, no. I know you've already seen it. 905 00:55:38,839 --> 00:55:41,341 I just don't know if you've watched the whole thing. Look. Look, look. 906 00:55:42,926 --> 00:55:43,927 All right. 907 00:55:44,845 --> 00:55:46,513 So look. After we came in, 908 00:55:47,097 --> 00:55:50,267 Nate had to hide under my desk here for, like, three whole hours 909 00:55:50,350 --> 00:55:53,687 while we were all whooping and hollering and celebrating all around him. 910 00:55:55,355 --> 00:55:58,442 Then, once we all split, he thought he was in the clear. 911 00:55:59,067 --> 00:56:01,111 And boom! Cleaning crew shows up. 912 00:56:01,195 --> 00:56:05,532 Oh, man. That's another two hours under that desk. Yep. 913 00:56:08,035 --> 00:56:10,871 Well, then after they leave, he crawls out. 914 00:56:11,496 --> 00:56:14,666 His legs just gotta be jelly. He can barely stand up. 915 00:56:14,750 --> 00:56:17,794 Look at this. He goes to check the doors, but they're all locked! 916 00:56:19,880 --> 00:56:21,632 Oh, man, that son of a gun 917 00:56:21,715 --> 00:56:24,551 had to climb out the window here just to get out of the building. 918 00:56:28,680 --> 00:56:30,140 You know, I don't know about you, Coach. 919 00:56:30,224 --> 00:56:35,604 But I hope that either all of us or none of us are judged 920 00:56:35,687 --> 00:56:37,898 by the actions of our weakest moments, 921 00:56:39,274 --> 00:56:41,944 but rather by the strength we show 922 00:56:42,027 --> 00:56:46,573 when and if we're ever given a second chance. 923 00:56:50,160 --> 00:56:51,703 All right, have fun tonight, Coach. 924 00:56:54,206 --> 00:56:58,210 And we rely on each other, ah ha 925 00:57:02,840 --> 00:57:05,008 Fuck. 926 00:57:23,652 --> 00:57:26,446 - Hi. - Hey. What are you guys doing? 927 00:57:26,530 --> 00:57:28,407 We thought we'd come and keep you company. 928 00:57:28,490 --> 00:57:30,367 - Fucking celebrate. - Yeah! 929 00:57:31,076 --> 00:57:33,579 'Cause that was fucking amazing, Jamie. 930 00:57:34,246 --> 00:57:35,747 Yeah, I was fucking amazing. You're right. 931 00:57:36,748 --> 00:57:37,748 Yes. 932 00:57:40,711 --> 00:57:43,130 - You start us off. - Don't mind if I do. 933 00:57:43,213 --> 00:57:46,341 Right. What the fuck happened, man? 934 00:57:48,010 --> 00:57:49,261 Did I look sexy? 935 00:57:52,890 --> 00:57:55,225 Shame you weren't injured in your fucking head, innit? 936 00:57:59,479 --> 00:58:00,480 I'm back. 937 00:58:02,357 --> 00:58:03,358 Hey, babe. You all right? 938 00:58:03,442 --> 00:58:05,527 Someone never came for their pickup order. 939 00:58:06,195 --> 00:58:08,113 Thank you. Great. 940 00:58:10,449 --> 00:58:15,370 So, I don't know if you heard, but Derek fired me today. 941 00:58:16,580 --> 00:58:18,415 That bastard! 942 00:58:18,498 --> 00:58:21,210 Yeah. I was devastated. 943 00:58:23,754 --> 00:58:26,924 But it made me realize that even though there's only one match left, 944 00:58:27,007 --> 00:58:29,593 I have to go back to Richmond. To make things right. 945 00:58:31,929 --> 00:58:33,514 Currently writing Ted an apology letter. 946 00:58:33,597 --> 00:58:36,683 It's 60 pages, but I'm just looking for a few trims, so… 947 00:58:38,602 --> 00:58:39,728 Two secs. 948 00:58:41,146 --> 00:58:42,523 Sixty pages. 949 00:58:45,317 --> 00:58:46,317 Oh, my God. 950 00:58:59,164 --> 00:59:00,624 You here to kill me? 951 00:59:02,292 --> 00:59:04,127 Ted and I met playing college football. 952 00:59:05,504 --> 00:59:08,173 He was the backup punter. I was the backup kicker. 953 00:59:08,257 --> 00:59:09,508 We never got in a game, 954 00:59:10,133 --> 00:59:13,971 but we spent a lot of time together, jogging and doing box jumps. 955 00:59:15,347 --> 00:59:16,890 After school, we went our separate ways. 956 00:59:16,974 --> 00:59:19,434 And he was dating Michelle, got into coaching. 957 00:59:20,310 --> 00:59:21,395 And I got into prison. 958 00:59:22,938 --> 00:59:24,106 When I got paroled… 959 00:59:26,108 --> 00:59:29,486 I had no money, family didn't want me. I had nowhere to go. 960 00:59:30,404 --> 00:59:31,530 So I looked up Ted. 961 00:59:33,699 --> 00:59:36,034 He took me in, fed me. 962 00:59:37,202 --> 00:59:38,579 Let me crash on his couch. 963 00:59:40,080 --> 00:59:43,333 And in return, I stole his car. 964 00:59:45,544 --> 00:59:46,545 Now, I didn't get far. 965 00:59:48,088 --> 00:59:51,633 And I would've gone straight back to prison if Ted didn't come down there 966 00:59:51,717 --> 00:59:54,636 and convince those cops that he gave me the car. 967 00:59:55,679 --> 00:59:56,680 Just like in Les Mis. 968 00:59:56,763 --> 00:59:58,932 Our story is very similar to Les Mis, yes. 969 00:59:59,516 --> 01:00:01,185 - You went to prison? - Yes. 970 01:00:01,268 --> 01:00:02,978 For stealing a loaf of meth. 971 01:00:05,230 --> 01:00:06,690 And then I stole from my friend. 972 01:00:09,067 --> 01:00:10,152 Who forgave me. 973 01:00:12,487 --> 01:00:15,824 And gave me a job. And a life. 974 01:00:19,203 --> 01:00:22,164 So to honor that, I forgive you. 975 01:00:24,124 --> 01:00:28,337 I offer you a job. And the life part's up to you. 976 01:00:35,552 --> 01:00:36,678 Thank you. 977 01:00:42,726 --> 01:00:46,605 You sure you don't wanna headbutt me? I think it might make us feel better. 978 01:01:01,912 --> 01:01:04,039 Monday, 10:00 a.m. 979 01:01:30,899 --> 01:01:33,735 - Hello? - Welcome home, honey. 980 01:01:33,819 --> 01:01:37,614 - Come take a seat, you must be starving. - Yeah, okay. 981 01:01:37,698 --> 01:01:40,784 Hey, congratulations on your big win. 982 01:01:40,868 --> 01:01:44,371 I didn't know if you'd be in the mood for meat loaf or lasagna, so I made both. 983 01:01:49,293 --> 01:01:53,130 - Mom, what's wrong? Why are you here? - What do you mean? 984 01:01:53,213 --> 01:01:55,799 I mean, if you got something you need to say to me, 985 01:01:56,466 --> 01:01:58,218 I'd appreciate it if you just went ahead and said it. 986 01:01:58,302 --> 01:02:02,514 Oh, stop. I just want to spend my last night in London with my son 987 01:02:02,598 --> 01:02:04,433 and make sure everything's all right. 988 01:02:06,101 --> 01:02:07,102 Yeah, okay. 989 01:02:07,769 --> 01:02:10,063 Well, thank you for cooking dinner. Both of 'em. 990 01:02:10,147 --> 01:02:11,607 Oh, you're welcome. 991 01:02:13,609 --> 01:02:16,987 - And fuck you for not wanting to talk. - Excuse me? 992 01:02:17,070 --> 01:02:20,032 Thank you for flying all the way here to come see me, 993 01:02:20,115 --> 01:02:21,909 and fuck you for not telling me you were coming. 994 01:02:23,118 --> 01:02:27,623 Thank you for all the small, silly, little things you did for me as a kid, you know? 995 01:02:27,706 --> 01:02:29,750 Like hiding notes in my lunch box 996 01:02:29,833 --> 01:02:34,379 or putting googly eyes on the fruit at the supermarket just to make me laugh. 997 01:02:34,880 --> 01:02:38,008 And fuck you for not working on yourself 998 01:02:38,091 --> 01:02:40,385 or seeking help after we lost dad. 999 01:02:40,886 --> 01:02:42,721 And for not talking to me about it either. 1000 01:02:42,804 --> 01:02:47,267 Just glossing over the whole thing and acting like everything was all right. 1001 01:02:50,854 --> 01:02:52,648 I'm sorry. 1002 01:02:57,319 --> 01:02:59,238 I didn't know what to do, Ted. 1003 01:02:59,321 --> 01:03:03,367 So, I pretended I was okay. 1004 01:03:03,450 --> 01:03:05,869 Okay. Well, thank you for the apology. 1005 01:03:06,370 --> 01:03:08,622 And fuck you for making me think I had to pretend too. 1006 01:03:09,706 --> 01:03:13,293 All right. I appreciate you sharing all this with me. 1007 01:03:15,045 --> 01:03:17,673 I just wish you hadn't carried it around for so long. 1008 01:03:17,756 --> 01:03:18,924 Yeah, okay. 1009 01:03:19,508 --> 01:03:23,095 And you're right, Ted, I do have something to say to you. 1010 01:03:26,056 --> 01:03:27,391 Your son misses you. 1011 01:03:32,437 --> 01:03:33,814 Yeah, I know. 1012 01:03:36,275 --> 01:03:37,776 I miss him too. 1013 01:03:47,035 --> 01:03:48,036 It's just like I… 1014 01:03:49,246 --> 01:03:53,584 It's like I'm scared sometimes to, like… 1015 01:03:55,043 --> 01:03:57,004 to get close to that little boy. 1016 01:03:57,754 --> 01:03:59,464 Oh, honey, why? 1017 01:04:03,510 --> 01:04:05,220 'Cause I know he's gonna leave. 1018 01:04:11,059 --> 01:04:12,144 Oh, well… 1019 01:04:14,730 --> 01:04:18,025 God. No, no, no, no. You know… 1020 01:04:18,108 --> 01:04:20,444 All right. That is the thing about being a parent. 1021 01:04:21,653 --> 01:04:23,572 Sometimes you lose and 1022 01:04:24,781 --> 01:04:27,743 sometimes you win, but most of the time you just tie. 1023 01:04:31,538 --> 01:04:34,499 All we can do is keep playing. 1024 01:04:36,335 --> 01:04:37,336 Right. 1025 01:04:43,842 --> 01:04:44,927 Thank you. 1026 01:04:47,262 --> 01:04:48,263 Fuck you. 1027 01:04:52,809 --> 01:04:54,394 Oh, my goodness. 1028 01:04:54,895 --> 01:04:57,314 I'm sorry about that. I… 1029 01:04:58,857 --> 01:05:00,442 You know what? Let me make it up to you, okay? 1030 01:05:00,526 --> 01:05:04,238 Why don't you take a seat? And I'll serve you dinner for once, okay? 1031 01:05:04,321 --> 01:05:08,617 - What? Okay. - Come on now, pop a squat. Go on. 1032 01:05:08,700 --> 01:05:09,701 Yeah, yeah. 1033 01:05:11,495 --> 01:05:16,416 Hey. You know, this therapist must be doing you some good. 1034 01:05:16,500 --> 01:05:17,584 Oh, boy. 1035 01:05:18,502 --> 01:05:20,337 I'm gonna leave her out of this. 1036 01:05:20,420 --> 01:05:24,383 Oh, wait till she hears about this. Okay. You know what? Let's start with the wine. 1037 01:05:24,466 --> 01:05:25,634 Let's do, please. 1038 01:05:30,138 --> 01:05:32,140 - Bex. - Hi. 1039 01:05:32,641 --> 01:05:36,562 Sorry to just show up like this. I need some advice. 1040 01:05:37,938 --> 01:05:40,232 - Okay. - Can we come in? 1041 01:05:40,816 --> 01:05:41,817 We? 1042 01:05:47,489 --> 01:05:48,490 Of course. 1043 01:07:00,646 --> 01:07:01,813 Morning, Will. 1044 01:07:01,897 --> 01:07:03,190 Hey. Good morning, Ted. 1045 01:07:12,032 --> 01:07:14,201 - Hey, Boss. - Hello, Ted. 1046 01:07:15,035 --> 01:07:16,537 Do you know this John Wooden? 1047 01:07:17,037 --> 01:07:18,747 No, ma'am. Never had the chance to meet him. 1048 01:07:18,830 --> 01:07:20,332 Oh, pity. I like this. 1049 01:07:21,083 --> 01:07:23,168 I mean, if you don't like that, you don't like ice cream. 1050 01:07:24,753 --> 01:07:25,754 What's up? 1051 01:07:26,880 --> 01:07:29,883 - Do you know what time it is? - 9:30. 1052 01:07:29,967 --> 01:07:33,554 Or half nine as you folks say over here for some goofy-ass reason. 1053 01:07:34,137 --> 01:07:36,348 - That's just to annoy Americans. - Yeah. 1054 01:07:38,600 --> 01:07:44,940 No, this is that time of year when I come down here and reveal something to you. 1055 01:07:45,440 --> 01:07:48,527 Oh, snap. That's right. Okay. 1056 01:07:49,278 --> 01:07:50,612 Well, here we go. 1057 01:07:51,780 --> 01:07:53,615 You know what? Maybe I should guess this year. 1058 01:07:53,699 --> 01:07:55,325 No, no, no, that's silly. Yeah. 1059 01:07:55,409 --> 01:07:58,078 No, you just go ahead and tell me. Go on, let 'er rip. 1060 01:08:00,122 --> 01:08:01,122 I've got nothing. 1061 01:08:02,374 --> 01:08:04,793 I really tried as well. I mean, even on the walk over here, 1062 01:08:04,877 --> 01:08:07,880 I was thinking something would pop into my head, but nope. 1063 01:08:07,963 --> 01:08:10,424 Absolutely nothing. Sorry, Ted. 1064 01:08:11,425 --> 01:08:14,052 No truth bomb this year. 1065 01:08:14,845 --> 01:08:15,846 Well, that's okay. 1066 01:08:18,223 --> 01:08:19,224 I got one.