1 00:00:01,580 --> 00:00:01,844 www.tvsubtitles.net 2 00:00:07,180 --> 00:00:13,507 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 3 00:00:14,361 --> 00:00:15,403 Damn! 4 00:00:15,403 --> 00:00:17,176 Kelso misses another one. 5 00:00:17,176 --> 00:00:19,471 I believe that's H-O-R. 6 00:00:19,471 --> 00:00:21,452 You are a whore. 7 00:00:23,331 --> 00:00:25,312 No, the game is Horse. 8 00:00:27,502 --> 00:00:29,693 Okay. You know what, Michael? I'm gonna go home. 9 00:00:29,693 --> 00:00:31,152 I'm gonna do my homework. 10 00:00:31,152 --> 00:00:33,447 You do your homework on a Saturday night? 11 00:00:33,447 --> 00:00:34,595 Yeah. 12 00:00:35,638 --> 00:00:36,785 Look, I mean, look at me. 13 00:00:36,785 --> 00:00:39,601 I've got a 1,000-word term paper due Monday... 14 00:00:39,497 --> 00:00:40,852 but you don't see me sweating. 15 00:00:40,852 --> 00:00:44,399 - I've got a whole crappy Sunday to do it. - Jackie, don't go home. 16 00:00:44,295 --> 00:00:46,694 I mean, Steve Martin's hosting Saturday Night. 17 00:00:46,694 --> 00:00:48,259 I hate that show, okay? 18 00:00:48,363 --> 00:00:52,117 They have commercials that you think are real but they're not real. 19 00:00:52,535 --> 00:00:54,308 And then you wanna buy the stuff. 20 00:00:55,768 --> 00:00:58,167 Okay. See you, Michael. 21 00:01:00,148 --> 00:01:02,965 Bye! Bye-bye! Shut up. 22 00:01:05,050 --> 00:01:08,075 Kelso, Jackie does her homework on Saturday night. 23 00:01:08,284 --> 00:01:09,640 That's so hip. 24 00:01:09,744 --> 00:01:12,039 You guys don't have to worry about Jackie anymore... 25 00:01:11,935 --> 00:01:13,395 'cause I'm breaking up with her. 26 00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:17,463 We are so tired of hearing you say that. 27 00:01:18,089 --> 00:01:20,592 No. I am. I'm breaking up with her. 28 00:01:20,592 --> 00:01:22,051 Yeah, when? 29 00:01:22,573 --> 00:01:24,556 I'm picking my moment. 30 00:01:25,076 --> 00:01:26,641 Where's Fez? 31 00:01:29,144 --> 00:01:31,231 Make that shot, whore. 32 00:01:35,924 --> 00:01:38,114 Hanging out 33 00:01:39,678 --> 00:01:41,661 Down the street 34 00:01:43,330 --> 00:01:45,728 The same old thing 35 00:01:47,084 --> 00:01:49,483 We did last week 36 00:01:50,213 --> 00:01:53,656 Not a thing to do 37 00:01:54,490 --> 00:01:57,827 But talk to you 38 00:01:57,723 --> 00:02:00,331 Whoa, yeah. 39 00:02:02,103 --> 00:02:04,398 Hello, Wisconsin! 40 00:02:19,209 --> 00:02:24,111 Now, aren't the waffles extra delicious this wonderful morning? 41 00:02:24,633 --> 00:02:25,885 Did you quit smoking again? 42 00:02:27,136 --> 00:02:29,326 And why do you ask, little one? 43 00:02:29,326 --> 00:02:31,516 You're talking like Snow White, so I figured... 44 00:02:31,621 --> 00:02:32,768 Eric! 45 00:02:32,664 --> 00:02:35,689 Which is great, I really want you to quit. 46 00:02:35,585 --> 00:02:37,774 I should've quit a long time ago. 47 00:02:37,774 --> 00:02:41,112 I'm a nurse. I know better. More sausage? 48 00:02:42,781 --> 00:02:44,137 I'll get it. 49 00:02:45,285 --> 00:02:46,327 Hello? 50 00:02:47,370 --> 00:02:50,291 That's too bad. 51 00:02:51,125 --> 00:02:53,524 Sure. Be glad to. 52 00:02:54,255 --> 00:02:58,426 Yeah. See you soon. Goodbye. 53 00:03:00,617 --> 00:03:02,702 - Who was that, dear? - My mother. 54 00:03:02,702 --> 00:03:04,580 Seems like... 55 00:03:04,580 --> 00:03:07,292 Uncle Paul broke his ankle... 56 00:03:07,918 --> 00:03:10,003 and she's going to church with us today. 57 00:03:10,212 --> 00:03:11,464 No, she's not. 58 00:03:12,507 --> 00:03:16,366 - It's Paul's turn to take her. - Like I said, he broke his ankle. 59 00:03:16,262 --> 00:03:18,243 Broken ankle, whatever. It's his turn. 60 00:03:19,495 --> 00:03:22,728 - Kitty, the man is injured. - Okay. That is just great. 61 00:03:23,980 --> 00:03:27,109 I will just take a chicken out of the freezer... 62 00:03:28,361 --> 00:03:30,760 because queen Bernice... 63 00:03:31,907 --> 00:03:33,785 doesn't like ham. 64 00:03:33,785 --> 00:03:37,643 Okay, look, I'll just call her and tell her we can't make it. 65 00:03:37,643 --> 00:03:41,711 Red. You know who'll get blamed for that. 66 00:03:41,502 --> 00:03:43,380 Why should she blame you? She's my mother. 67 00:03:43,380 --> 00:03:45,466 Something she never lets me forget. 68 00:03:47,031 --> 00:03:49,221 Look, you could tell her I'm sick or something. 69 00:03:49,117 --> 00:03:50,472 Eric, go upstairs... 70 00:03:50,472 --> 00:03:52,975 and put on that shirt your grandmother gave you. 71 00:03:52,871 --> 00:03:55,688 Eric, just stay there. Your mother is just being ridiculous. 72 00:03:55,688 --> 00:03:59,130 You know what's ridiculous, is giving your mother our phone number. 73 00:04:00,276 --> 00:04:03,927 - What's being ridiculous is... - Hold it. 74 00:04:03,927 --> 00:04:07,161 Hold it. Now, look... 75 00:04:08,099 --> 00:04:09,976 let's just stay calm. 76 00:04:10,394 --> 00:04:14,253 Mom, if it'll help you out, I'll hang out with Grandma... 77 00:04:14,149 --> 00:04:16,235 so she'll leave you alone. 78 00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:18,634 What do you say? 79 00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:23,744 First of all, Eric, I'm the one who says "hold it." 80 00:04:23,953 --> 00:04:26,977 When you pay the bills, you get to say "hold it." 81 00:04:27,603 --> 00:04:30,211 Now get in the car, 'cause we're going to church... 82 00:04:30,211 --> 00:04:32,715 and we're gonna have a damn nice Sunday. 83 00:04:33,966 --> 00:04:38,347 You're damn right. Just try and stop me. 84 00:04:39,807 --> 00:04:40,850 Damn. 85 00:04:45,648 --> 00:04:47,421 Here she comes. 86 00:04:47,942 --> 00:04:50,863 God, Red, I don't think I can do this. 87 00:04:50,863 --> 00:04:55,661 - Kitty, do us all a favor and light up. - I'm fine. 88 00:04:58,894 --> 00:05:00,041 Careful, Grandma. 89 00:05:05,778 --> 00:05:07,238 It's just my dress. 90 00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:16,730 It's nice to see you, Bernice. 91 00:05:16,730 --> 00:05:19,441 I hate this car. You know, I just hate this car. 92 00:05:20,589 --> 00:05:24,761 Your brother Jerry has a beautiful car. A Lincoln. 93 00:05:25,073 --> 00:05:28,307 But then, he makes more money, a lot more money than you do. 94 00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:31,749 All righty, then. 95 00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:35,921 So, Kitty, Eric tells me that you quit smoking. 96 00:05:35,817 --> 00:05:38,633 Yes, I did quit. And I just... I feel great. 97 00:05:41,032 --> 00:05:42,909 Good for you, dear. 98 00:05:49,793 --> 00:05:54,591 In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost. Amen. 99 00:05:55,113 --> 00:05:57,720 Please stand for a moment of silent meditation. 100 00:06:00,327 --> 00:06:04,395 Dear God. Thank you so much for helping me quit... 101 00:06:04,291 --> 00:06:07,107 such a filthy, disgusting... 102 00:06:07,107 --> 00:06:08,671 soothing, delicious habit. 103 00:06:08,671 --> 00:06:12,114 God, I can't do this. No, I'm fine. Amen. 104 00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:15,660 Dear God... 105 00:06:16,077 --> 00:06:18,893 what's with all the Polacks? 106 00:06:18,893 --> 00:06:19,936 Dear God. 107 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:22,022 I don't mean to bother you on your day off... 108 00:06:22,022 --> 00:06:25,672 but I promised to help out with Grandma and I have a term paper due tomorrow. 109 00:06:25,568 --> 00:06:27,863 If you could either get her to leave early today... 110 00:06:27,863 --> 00:06:29,323 or burn down the school tomorrow. 111 00:06:29,427 --> 00:06:30,992 I mean, either or, God's choice. 112 00:06:30,888 --> 00:06:35,060 It'd really help me out, man. God. Lord. Amen. 113 00:06:36,207 --> 00:06:37,876 Dear Lord. 114 00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:42,048 Would it kill you to give the Packers a winning season? Amen. 115 00:06:42,673 --> 00:06:46,637 And watch over my loving family blah, blah, blah. 116 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:52,583 Welcome to Worship for Shutins. 117 00:06:52,583 --> 00:06:53,938 Change it. 118 00:06:57,276 --> 00:06:58,736 All right, change that. 119 00:07:00,718 --> 00:07:04,786 - How did we change channels before Fez? - I don't think we did. 120 00:07:07,185 --> 00:07:12,087 - You guys, I gotta work on my term paper. - Where's Grandma? 121 00:07:11,983 --> 00:07:16,050 She's in the bathroom, so I've got, like, 20 minutes, half hour tops. 122 00:07:15,946 --> 00:07:18,345 - What's the assignment? - All right. 123 00:07:18,345 --> 00:07:20,535 "In 1,000 words describe the three branches... 124 00:07:20,535 --> 00:07:23,247 "of the United States government and their functions." 125 00:07:23,247 --> 00:07:24,708 I'll never make it. 126 00:07:24,708 --> 00:07:26,689 Go up and tell them you have homework to do. 127 00:07:26,689 --> 00:07:28,984 No, I wanna keep peace in the family. 128 00:07:28,984 --> 00:07:32,530 Yeah, Donna, Forman wants the Hallmark card family. 129 00:07:32,530 --> 00:07:35,867 - The what? - You know, Grandma comes over. 130 00:07:37,953 --> 00:07:41,291 To my mother-in-law on this beautiful Sunday. 131 00:07:41,083 --> 00:07:42,439 Your smiling face... 132 00:07:42,439 --> 00:07:45,359 your kind embrace has made my home a happy place. 133 00:07:45,567 --> 00:07:48,384 And I'm so happy you're the one... 134 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:50,574 to whom I gave my loving son. 135 00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:53,286 And I'm so happy you're both happy... 136 00:07:53,286 --> 00:07:55,893 'cause otherwise life would be crappy. 137 00:07:57,666 --> 00:07:59,126 I don't want that. 138 00:07:59,126 --> 00:08:02,151 Yeah, you do. I can see it in those wide, hopeful eyes. 139 00:08:02,151 --> 00:08:03,924 But the reality is this: 140 00:08:04,133 --> 00:08:07,366 To my daughter-in-law, you took my son. 141 00:08:07,262 --> 00:08:08,410 You wrecked my life. 142 00:08:08,410 --> 00:08:09,557 You stole my youth. 143 00:08:09,557 --> 00:08:11,017 You hate my wife. 144 00:08:11,017 --> 00:08:12,060 I do my best. 145 00:08:12,060 --> 00:08:13,208 Now, that's a joke. 146 00:08:13,208 --> 00:08:14,250 I'm going out. 147 00:08:14,250 --> 00:08:16,127 I need a smoke. 148 00:08:19,883 --> 00:08:21,239 Damn it, Eric! 149 00:08:21,239 --> 00:08:25,307 Quit hiding from your grandmother. She's old, she could die. Now, move it! 150 00:08:26,036 --> 00:08:28,957 I thought she was in the bathroom. False alarm. 151 00:08:28,957 --> 00:08:31,564 Look, go take care of your grandmother. We can do this. 152 00:08:31,564 --> 00:08:32,816 Thanks. 153 00:08:33,546 --> 00:08:37,926 - All right, how many words does he have? - His name, the date, the class. 154 00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:39,074 Seven. 155 00:08:39,699 --> 00:08:42,620 - He's screwed. - Use his middle name. 156 00:08:42,412 --> 00:08:44,707 See? Now, this would never happen to me. 157 00:08:44,811 --> 00:08:47,626 That is why I do my homework on Saturday. 158 00:08:48,044 --> 00:08:50,025 This is a moment, Kelso. Pick it. 159 00:08:53,885 --> 00:08:56,700 I think you all could learn something from me right now. 160 00:08:57,118 --> 00:08:58,474 Moment number two. 161 00:09:00,977 --> 00:09:04,627 All right. Jackie, we need to talk. 162 00:09:07,861 --> 00:09:09,217 You know what? 163 00:09:09,321 --> 00:09:12,972 I did the same paper last year in history. I think I got an "A." 164 00:09:12,867 --> 00:09:14,641 You want me to go home and get it? 165 00:09:14,537 --> 00:09:19,021 - Let me think. Yeah! - Hold on, Donna. 166 00:09:19,021 --> 00:09:21,108 Jackie, we need to talk about this whole... 167 00:09:22,776 --> 00:09:24,341 Jackie, why don't you go ahead? 168 00:09:24,341 --> 00:09:25,384 Okay. 169 00:09:28,825 --> 00:09:31,224 Do not break up with her yet, you understand me? 170 00:09:31,224 --> 00:09:32,893 Say you understand me. 171 00:09:34,562 --> 00:09:36,752 All this time I thought you didn't like Jackie. 172 00:09:38,317 --> 00:09:40,612 Just don't break up with her yet. 173 00:09:40,612 --> 00:09:41,863 Okay. 174 00:09:43,949 --> 00:09:48,225 What do I need Jackie for, man? I know more about this stuff than she does. 175 00:09:48,225 --> 00:09:52,502 The three true branches of the government are military, corporate, and Hollywood. 176 00:09:54,275 --> 00:09:55,840 I need a pencil. I got it. 177 00:09:58,656 --> 00:10:00,428 Jackie, run! 178 00:10:06,270 --> 00:10:09,398 Love! 179 00:10:09,816 --> 00:10:13,153 I hope you're hungry. Yup, the chicken will be done soon. 180 00:10:13,153 --> 00:10:17,117 I can't eat chicken. You know I have an irritable bowel. 181 00:10:36,205 --> 00:10:38,082 You should have made a ham. 182 00:10:39,542 --> 00:10:40,793 Boy, Grandma... 183 00:10:40,793 --> 00:10:43,714 that was a great service this morning. Don't you think? 184 00:10:43,714 --> 00:10:46,739 I think the pastor talked too much about forgiveness. 185 00:10:46,739 --> 00:10:48,928 Some people shouldn't be forgiven. 186 00:10:50,807 --> 00:10:53,832 This is why theology is such a rich... 187 00:10:53,832 --> 00:10:56,751 You know, Bernice, some people don't need forgiveness... 188 00:10:56,751 --> 00:10:58,734 they just need a little understanding. 189 00:10:58,734 --> 00:11:00,923 Too true. Have you seen Godspell? 190 00:11:02,801 --> 00:11:05,095 You know, what I don't understand... 191 00:11:05,095 --> 00:11:08,538 is how in hell a brilliant young man, like my Red... 192 00:11:08,538 --> 00:11:09,998 could have thrown away everything. 193 00:11:09,998 --> 00:11:13,857 Grandma! Why don't we go into the living room and I'll rub your feet. 194 00:11:17,820 --> 00:11:22,618 What a wonderful boy. Look at how thin you are. 195 00:11:22,618 --> 00:11:25,017 Is your mother feeding you enough? 196 00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:26,999 You should come and live with me. 197 00:11:28,042 --> 00:11:29,085 No. 198 00:11:31,067 --> 00:11:33,152 I was just on my way to the garage. 199 00:11:33,152 --> 00:11:35,343 To fix this. 200 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:38,993 Dad, just watch your game. 201 00:11:38,993 --> 00:11:41,601 No, it's just the Packers. 202 00:11:43,374 --> 00:11:47,755 - Eric, where've you been hiding? - I've been doing some homework. 203 00:11:47,546 --> 00:11:48,902 That's important. 204 00:11:48,902 --> 00:11:51,301 Yeah. You know, actually, it's a really interesting... 205 00:11:51,301 --> 00:11:54,639 Eric, a little less talk and a little more rubbing. 206 00:11:54,535 --> 00:11:57,664 You're the only one who's not afraid of my bunion. 207 00:11:58,289 --> 00:11:59,227 Oh, dear. 208 00:12:04,651 --> 00:12:06,634 Good-bye, Eric, I am going home now. 209 00:12:06,634 --> 00:12:10,075 No, wait, Fez, you haven't met Grandma. 210 00:12:10,180 --> 00:12:12,266 Hello, Grandma. 211 00:12:14,351 --> 00:12:16,646 In my village, we worship feet. 212 00:12:17,064 --> 00:12:19,567 And these dogs are a holy treasure. 213 00:12:21,444 --> 00:12:24,573 - You wanna rub them? - May I? 214 00:12:24,782 --> 00:12:26,555 Knock yourself out. 215 00:12:46,164 --> 00:12:47,207 Hey, Dad. 216 00:12:47,311 --> 00:12:48,875 Damn it, Eric! 217 00:12:50,752 --> 00:12:54,716 Don't sneak up on a person like that when they're doing this. 218 00:12:56,594 --> 00:12:57,949 How's it going in there? 219 00:12:58,263 --> 00:13:02,017 - I rubbed her feet. - Now, you're a brave one. 220 00:13:02,539 --> 00:13:04,624 Better get back in there. 221 00:13:04,938 --> 00:13:07,649 Dad, you coming back inside? 222 00:13:08,797 --> 00:13:09,840 Eric... 223 00:13:10,883 --> 00:13:13,699 I love your grandmother very, very much. 224 00:13:13,908 --> 00:13:16,723 I just can't talk to her or spend any time with her. 225 00:13:18,393 --> 00:13:21,000 Did I mention that I'm in there rubbing her feet? 226 00:13:22,773 --> 00:13:24,338 You know, son... 227 00:13:24,650 --> 00:13:27,258 sometimes you've just gotta play through the pain. 228 00:13:28,822 --> 00:13:30,074 What? 229 00:13:31,535 --> 00:13:34,872 - I don't know. Just get back in there. - Yeah, right. 230 00:13:35,289 --> 00:13:37,167 "With their sugar-coated ideals... 231 00:13:37,167 --> 00:13:40,296 "designed to anesthetize the ignorant masses. 232 00:13:40,296 --> 00:13:43,634 "Why? So that the military slash corporate branches... 233 00:13:43,530 --> 00:13:45,511 "can carry out world domination." 234 00:13:46,449 --> 00:13:48,327 All right, read that back to me. 235 00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:49,474 Okay. 236 00:13:56,463 --> 00:14:00,217 - You didn't get that? - All right, let's just use the encyclopedia. 237 00:14:00,009 --> 00:14:03,660 You just want to vomit up facts from an encyclopedia? 238 00:14:03,555 --> 00:14:06,267 - Yes. - Okay, fine. You know what? Vomit away. 239 00:14:06,163 --> 00:14:08,352 I will not be a part of this, then. 240 00:14:08,352 --> 00:14:10,335 Eric, are you down here? 241 00:14:10,856 --> 00:14:12,316 He's not down here, Mrs. Forman. 242 00:14:12,316 --> 00:14:14,507 Donna, good, why don't you come up and eat with us? 243 00:14:14,507 --> 00:14:18,158 I need all the help I can get. Not you, Steven. Grandma doesn't like you. 244 00:14:18,783 --> 00:14:20,661 Lucky bastard. 245 00:14:20,661 --> 00:14:22,642 What am I supposed to eat? 246 00:14:23,060 --> 00:14:26,084 You know, help yourself to the deep freeze. 247 00:14:26,814 --> 00:14:29,421 But everything's frozen. 248 00:14:30,361 --> 00:14:31,925 And I have a dryer. 249 00:14:40,269 --> 00:14:44,441 Honey, these cheesy potatoes are delicious. 250 00:14:49,031 --> 00:14:50,595 Thank you, honey. 251 00:14:51,846 --> 00:14:54,349 They really are great, Mrs. Forman. 252 00:14:55,706 --> 00:14:57,687 We have them whenever Grandma comes over... 253 00:14:57,792 --> 00:15:00,816 'cause mom knows how much she loves them. Right, Grandma? 254 00:15:02,694 --> 00:15:03,945 They make me sick. 255 00:15:04,884 --> 00:15:06,658 I'm allergic to dairy. 256 00:15:07,700 --> 00:15:09,161 How sad. 257 00:15:10,830 --> 00:15:14,375 Ma, this is Wisconsin. You're not allergic to dairy. 258 00:15:15,732 --> 00:15:18,651 Maybe she's just allergic to my dairy. 259 00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:22,615 If you're allergic to dairy you shouldn't put cream in your coffee. 260 00:15:22,511 --> 00:15:26,683 - I mean, cream is dairy. - Donna, just, no, okay? 261 00:15:26,578 --> 00:15:30,230 You shut up, Eric! Who the hell are you? 262 00:15:31,168 --> 00:15:34,401 Grandma, that's Donna, you've known her for 16 years. 263 00:15:34,923 --> 00:15:39,095 I have not. Anyway, I like your new friend better. 264 00:15:39,825 --> 00:15:42,015 The feeling is mutual. 265 00:15:43,684 --> 00:15:44,832 Done. 266 00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:48,169 I heard a noise in the garage. 267 00:15:48,377 --> 00:15:49,734 Raccoons. 268 00:15:50,256 --> 00:15:51,507 Bye. 269 00:15:54,218 --> 00:15:57,035 I couldn't eat another bite. 270 00:15:56,931 --> 00:15:58,599 I've had enough. 271 00:15:59,330 --> 00:16:01,937 I'm going back downstairs. Excuse me. 272 00:16:03,293 --> 00:16:07,361 So, what say we watch Lawrence Welk, Grandma? 273 00:16:08,299 --> 00:16:11,220 No, I'm going to watch Lawrence Welk with my new friend. 274 00:16:11,428 --> 00:16:14,140 You up for another foot rub, Desi? 275 00:16:17,895 --> 00:16:18,938 Fry time. 276 00:16:21,441 --> 00:16:23,944 - Hot! Hot! - What are you doing? 277 00:16:23,944 --> 00:16:27,803 Just working on your report here, and having some fries. 278 00:16:27,803 --> 00:16:30,411 Wait, you put French fries in my mom's dryer? 279 00:16:30,307 --> 00:16:32,914 Yeah, the fish sticks are too flaky, so I just... 280 00:16:33,853 --> 00:16:35,417 I don't even need to... 281 00:16:37,608 --> 00:16:40,424 Finally. Where have you guys been? 282 00:16:40,528 --> 00:16:44,492 We had to look for the paper, and eat... 283 00:16:44,388 --> 00:16:46,265 and then some stuff happened, you know. 284 00:16:46,265 --> 00:16:49,394 - Your shirt's on inside out. - Yeah, that's the stuff. 285 00:16:50,959 --> 00:16:53,462 - Where's the paper? - Right. Okay, see? 286 00:16:53,358 --> 00:16:55,965 It wasn't on the three branches of the government... 287 00:16:55,965 --> 00:16:57,634 it was on the four food groups. 288 00:17:00,241 --> 00:17:03,996 Okay, look, my dad's got the World Books. I'll just run next door and get "G." 289 00:17:03,892 --> 00:17:05,665 I'll go with you. 290 00:17:07,230 --> 00:17:09,107 You can break up with her now. 291 00:17:11,089 --> 00:17:15,157 You know, I'm tired of everybody trying to tear me and Jackie apart. 292 00:17:16,930 --> 00:17:19,955 Moron, every day you say you're breaking up with her. 293 00:17:20,580 --> 00:17:23,918 You guys don't know her like I do. 294 00:17:24,439 --> 00:17:27,568 I mean, it's not just about fooling around. 295 00:17:28,924 --> 00:17:30,593 She buys me stuff. 296 00:17:31,219 --> 00:17:33,409 She hoovered your chest, man. 297 00:17:34,973 --> 00:17:36,538 You know what? 298 00:17:37,164 --> 00:17:38,937 I don't care anymore. 299 00:17:39,563 --> 00:17:43,005 All I wanted was a little help with my paper and you've done nothing! 300 00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:44,152 We put your middle name in. 301 00:17:45,508 --> 00:17:46,968 Jean-Claude? 302 00:17:48,950 --> 00:17:50,306 That's two words. 303 00:17:51,766 --> 00:17:53,331 You guys suck. 304 00:17:53,539 --> 00:17:55,521 Just thank God for Donna. 305 00:17:56,981 --> 00:18:00,736 Okay, bad news, my mom sold some out at the garage sale. 306 00:18:00,632 --> 00:18:02,926 But we have "B,"X," and "R." 307 00:18:03,865 --> 00:18:06,160 All right. 308 00:18:06,056 --> 00:18:10,958 Now, you listen up. I have had an extremely stressful day. 309 00:18:10,853 --> 00:18:13,043 And I am not proud of what I'm about to say... 310 00:18:13,043 --> 00:18:15,130 but someone give me a cigarette! 311 00:18:15,130 --> 00:18:16,172 Now! 312 00:18:17,841 --> 00:18:20,136 But, Mom, we don't smoke. 313 00:18:20,136 --> 00:18:23,057 Cut the crap, Eric. I am a nurse. 314 00:18:23,057 --> 00:18:28,063 I know that one in five teenagers smoke. One, two, three, four, five. 315 00:18:27,959 --> 00:18:32,026 Now, I'm going to close my eyes, and when I open them... 316 00:18:31,922 --> 00:18:34,842 there had better be a cigarette between these two fingers. 317 00:18:34,842 --> 00:18:37,033 Come on, people. Hop to! 318 00:18:39,536 --> 00:18:40,788 Thank you. 319 00:18:41,205 --> 00:18:42,561 Light? 320 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:48,923 Kitty. 321 00:18:49,236 --> 00:18:51,739 There you are, Red. 322 00:18:52,157 --> 00:18:55,390 Ma says the cat bit her, so I'm down here looking for it. 323 00:18:55,390 --> 00:18:57,371 Dad, we don't have a cat. 324 00:18:58,936 --> 00:19:00,188 That's what I thought. 325 00:19:13,538 --> 00:19:14,790 You know, we really... 326 00:19:14,790 --> 00:19:17,189 We shouldn't leave your poor little foreign friend... 327 00:19:17,189 --> 00:19:19,066 up there alone with Grandma. 328 00:19:28,558 --> 00:19:31,165 It's really kind of nice down here. 329 00:19:41,908 --> 00:19:44,933 Thank you for a wonderful dinner. 330 00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:49,835 - You are so very welcome. - I hope I wasn't any bother. 331 00:19:49,626 --> 00:19:53,172 Ma, you're no bother. You're as welcome as... 332 00:19:53,486 --> 00:19:54,946 flowers in May. 333 00:19:56,197 --> 00:19:59,222 Bernice, here, I wrapped up some chicken for you to take home. 334 00:19:59,222 --> 00:20:01,830 Thank you, dear. 335 00:20:01,830 --> 00:20:04,959 And I hope you put some of those cheesy potatoes in there. 336 00:20:04,855 --> 00:20:06,836 You know how much I love them. 337 00:20:07,149 --> 00:20:08,192 What? 338 00:20:09,131 --> 00:20:12,364 I thought you made such a big deal about how you were allergic to... 339 00:20:12,156 --> 00:20:13,302 Eric! 340 00:20:13,407 --> 00:20:16,119 This has been a perfectly nice Sunday. Let's not spoil it. 341 00:20:19,457 --> 00:20:20,603 Sweetheart... 342 00:20:20,708 --> 00:20:23,524 I hope I didn't make too big a deal about my allergy. 343 00:20:23,420 --> 00:20:26,653 No, Ma, he's a kid. 344 00:20:26,549 --> 00:20:28,844 He overreacts. 345 00:20:29,991 --> 00:20:33,120 You know, this is the cutest little car. 346 00:20:34,163 --> 00:20:35,832 I just love it. 347 00:20:39,795 --> 00:20:42,716 Eight hundred and twenty-five, eight hundred and twenty-six... 348 00:20:42,716 --> 00:20:46,470 Eric, what are you doing? It's 1:00 in the morning. 349 00:20:46,366 --> 00:20:48,765 I'm just finishing up some homework. 350 00:20:49,078 --> 00:20:50,643 What are you doing down here? 351 00:20:52,833 --> 00:20:55,232 Snow White came down to gun a stick. 352 00:20:57,214 --> 00:20:59,299 Look, Mom, I wish you wouldn't smoke. 353 00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:01,907 I know. This is my last one. I promise. 354 00:21:05,662 --> 00:21:07,226 By the way... 355 00:21:08,061 --> 00:21:10,772 thanks for your help with your grandma today. 356 00:21:10,772 --> 00:21:13,171 Can I ask you a question? 357 00:21:13,381 --> 00:21:15,988 What does she have against you, Mom? 358 00:21:17,448 --> 00:21:18,491 Well... 359 00:21:19,325 --> 00:21:22,246 About 25 years ago, your father was dating... 360 00:21:23,185 --> 00:21:27,148 this very attractive, well-to-do woman that your grandma liked... 361 00:21:29,130 --> 00:21:31,216 and he married me instead. 362 00:21:32,050 --> 00:21:34,136 And she never forgave me. 363 00:21:35,284 --> 00:21:36,639 That bitch. 364 00:22:00,420 --> 00:22:03,132 Now, who was the lady with the cotton-candy dress? 365 00:22:03,132 --> 00:22:05,948 That's Norma Zimmer, the champagne lady. 366 00:22:05,844 --> 00:22:08,034 She is very talented. 367 00:22:08,034 --> 00:22:11,059 And you see those two dancing? That's Bobby and Sissy. 368 00:22:11,059 --> 00:22:14,292 I like his tight pants, but she's a slut. 369 00:22:14,814 --> 00:22:16,587 You know, I have seen this show before. 370 00:22:16,587 --> 00:22:19,612 But the band leader's voice was much more masculine. 371 00:22:23,888 --> 00:22:26,078 Bubbles! 372 00:22:27,081 --> 00:22:37,497 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.