1 00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:14,900 FORMAN, MAN, IT'S A TINY LITTLE SCRATCH, 2 00:00:15,068 --> 00:00:16,694 AND RED'S NEVER GONNA SEE IT. 3 00:00:16,861 --> 00:00:18,070 NO, RED SEES EVERYTHING. 4 00:00:18,238 --> 00:00:20,990 HE SEES WHEN I PUT CHEAP GAS IN THE CAR. 5 00:00:21,157 --> 00:00:22,324 I GOT IT. 6 00:00:22,492 --> 00:00:23,784 WE'LL PUT MY "GAS, GRASS, OR ASS" 7 00:00:23,952 --> 00:00:27,246 BUMPER STICKER OVER IT. 8 00:00:28,873 --> 00:00:30,040 AH, LISTEN, FORMAN. 9 00:00:30,208 --> 00:00:32,626 WHATEVER HAPPENS, WE'LL ALL TAKE THE RAP. 10 00:00:32,794 --> 00:00:34,753 YEAH. 11 00:00:38,508 --> 00:00:40,467 WHOOSH! 12 00:00:41,386 --> 00:00:42,666 HOW'D YOU SCRATCH THE CAR, ERIC? 13 00:00:42,721 --> 00:00:45,472 HAVE FUN. SEE YA, FORMAN. 14 00:00:46,975 --> 00:00:48,350 WELL? 15 00:00:48,518 --> 00:00:50,894 WELL, UH... 16 00:00:51,062 --> 00:00:53,063 SIR, I WAS, UH... 17 00:00:53,231 --> 00:00:54,631 PULLING OUT OF THIS PARKING SPACE... 18 00:00:54,649 --> 00:00:55,889 WELL, CREEPING IS MORE LIKE IT. 19 00:00:55,984 --> 00:00:57,151 I WAS CREEPING... 20 00:00:57,318 --> 00:00:58,485 YOU WERE SCREWING AROUND, 21 00:00:58,653 --> 00:00:59,853 AND YOU BACKED INTO A HYDRANT. 22 00:00:59,988 --> 00:01:01,155 I CAN SEE THE PAINT MARKS. 23 00:01:01,322 --> 00:01:02,489 NO! 24 00:01:02,657 --> 00:01:04,783 AND BY NO, I MEAN EXACTLY. 25 00:01:04,951 --> 00:01:06,118 BUT IT WASN'T MY FAULT, SIR. 26 00:01:06,286 --> 00:01:08,579 KELSO WAS GIVING ME A... 27 00:01:08,747 --> 00:01:11,999 A WHAT? 28 00:01:15,712 --> 00:01:19,339 KELSO WAS GIVING ME A... PURPLE NURPLE. 29 00:01:21,593 --> 00:01:23,343 IT'S, UH, WHEN YOU GRAB SOMEONE'S NIPPLE 30 00:01:23,511 --> 00:01:24,791 THROUGH THEIR SHIRT AND TWIST IT 31 00:01:24,929 --> 00:01:29,600 REAL HARD... 32 00:01:29,768 --> 00:01:33,771 UNTIL IT BECOMES PURPLE. 33 00:01:33,938 --> 00:01:36,732 GIVE ME THE KEYS. 34 00:01:36,900 --> 00:01:38,400 DAD, I... 35 00:01:38,568 --> 00:01:40,194 YOUR DRIVING PRIVILEGES ARE SUSPENDED 36 00:01:40,361 --> 00:01:42,738 UNTIL YOU LEARN SOME RESPONSIBILITY. 37 00:01:42,906 --> 00:01:44,615 DAD, I AM VERY RESPONSIBLE. 38 00:01:44,783 --> 00:01:46,450 NO. NO, YOU'RE NOT. 39 00:01:46,618 --> 00:01:48,410 RESPONSIBLE PEOPLE DON'T GO AROUND GETTING 40 00:01:48,578 --> 00:01:51,872 THEIR NIPPLES TWISTED. 41 00:01:53,041 --> 00:01:54,416 SEE, WHEN YOU SAY IT, THOUGH, 42 00:01:54,584 --> 00:01:56,960 IT JUST SOUNDS WEIRD. 43 00:02:21,903 --> 00:02:24,446 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY CARSEY-WERNER PRODUCTIONS AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 44 00:02:24,614 --> 00:02:27,282 HELLO, WISCONSIN! 45 00:02:30,787 --> 00:02:33,455 BLOW! 46 00:02:33,623 --> 00:02:35,040 OH MY GOD. 47 00:02:35,208 --> 00:02:36,458 "HAIR DOs AND DON'Ts 48 00:02:36,626 --> 00:02:38,502 OF OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALISTS." 49 00:02:38,670 --> 00:02:40,712 OH MY GOD. IS THAT DOROTHY HAMILL? 50 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,340 SHE'S A VIRGIN. 51 00:02:43,508 --> 00:02:47,511 SPEAKING OF, UM... 52 00:02:47,679 --> 00:02:48,929 YOU KNOW THOSE GIRLS AT SCHOOL 53 00:02:49,097 --> 00:02:50,430 WHO DO IT, LIKE, ALL THE TIME? 54 00:02:50,598 --> 00:02:51,765 YEAH? 55 00:02:51,933 --> 00:02:53,142 ALL RIGHT. IS IT JUST ME, 56 00:02:53,309 --> 00:02:56,311 OR DO THEY SEEM MORE RELAXED? 57 00:02:57,105 --> 00:02:59,565 HI! 58 00:02:59,732 --> 00:03:01,150 WHAT WERE YOU GUYS DOIN'? 59 00:03:01,317 --> 00:03:04,319 THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT SEX. 60 00:03:04,487 --> 00:03:05,654 COME ON, FEZ, 61 00:03:05,822 --> 00:03:07,322 CHICKS DON'T TALK ABOUT SEX, MAN. 62 00:03:07,490 --> 00:03:09,825 IT'S DIRTY. 63 00:03:09,993 --> 00:03:12,077 YES, WE DO, 64 00:03:12,245 --> 00:03:14,621 ESPECIALLY WHEN IT INVOLVES MICHAEL KELSO. 65 00:03:14,789 --> 00:03:15,956 MY DREAMBOAT. 66 00:03:16,124 --> 00:03:17,291 OH, GREAT. 67 00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:19,578 NOW WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT JACKIE AND KELSO'S SEX LIFE. 68 00:03:19,669 --> 00:03:21,378 THIS IS MY WORST NIGHTMARE. 69 00:03:21,546 --> 00:03:23,046 ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? 70 00:03:23,214 --> 00:03:24,894 BEFORE YOU GUYS GOT HERE, JACKIE AND I WERE 71 00:03:25,049 --> 00:03:27,926 ACTUALLY HAVING A PRETTY GOOD TIME. 72 00:03:30,471 --> 00:03:33,640 I KNOW. I WAS SURPRISED TOO. 73 00:03:36,352 --> 00:03:38,312 HEY, DONNA, YOU WANNA GO TO MY HOUSE? 74 00:03:38,479 --> 00:03:40,856 YOU KNOW WHAT? OKAY. 75 00:03:44,861 --> 00:03:46,820 SO, WHAT DO YOU GUYS WANNA DO? 76 00:03:46,988 --> 00:03:48,614 WE COULD WALK TO THE HUB. 77 00:03:48,781 --> 00:03:49,948 TOO FAR. 78 00:03:50,116 --> 00:03:53,202 WE COULD WALK TO... TOO FAR. 79 00:03:53,369 --> 00:03:54,953 MAN, THIS SUCKS. 80 00:03:55,121 --> 00:03:56,955 I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THAT RED TOOK AWAY MY CAR 81 00:03:57,123 --> 00:03:59,041 BECAUSE OF ONE STUPID LITTLE SCRATCH. 82 00:03:59,209 --> 00:04:00,375 I KNOW, MAN. 83 00:04:00,543 --> 00:04:01,960 WHO WOULD THINK RED WOULD OVERREACT? 84 00:04:02,128 --> 00:04:03,837 I DID. 85 00:04:04,005 --> 00:04:06,757 I HAVE NOTICED RED IS A REAL HARD-ASS. 86 00:04:07,425 --> 00:04:08,675 ONE TOKE OVER THE LINE, 87 00:04:08,843 --> 00:04:10,135 SWEET JESUS, YOU ARE CLOBBERED. 88 00:04:10,303 --> 00:04:13,430 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? 89 00:04:13,598 --> 00:04:14,806 HEY, GUYS. 90 00:04:14,974 --> 00:04:16,516 CHECK IT OUT. 91 00:04:16,684 --> 00:04:17,851 DID YOU GET A CAR? 92 00:04:18,019 --> 00:04:19,895 YEAH. MY COUSIN SULLY LOANED ME HIS WHEELS. 93 00:04:20,063 --> 00:04:22,856 SO, WHERE TO? 94 00:04:27,028 --> 00:04:28,237 YOU JUST WANNA HANG? 95 00:04:28,404 --> 00:04:30,530 YEAH. 96 00:04:32,700 --> 00:04:34,326 SNOOKUMS? 97 00:04:34,494 --> 00:04:36,620 YES, POOKY? 98 00:04:36,788 --> 00:04:38,914 DO YOU WANT TURKEY OR TUNA SANDWICHES 99 00:04:39,082 --> 00:04:40,999 TONIGHT FOR DINNER? 100 00:04:41,167 --> 00:04:42,501 TONIGHT? 101 00:04:42,669 --> 00:04:44,920 TONIGHT'S MEAT LOAF NIGHT. 102 00:04:45,088 --> 00:04:46,546 RIGHT, BUT I HAVE MY CLASS 103 00:04:46,714 --> 00:04:49,007 AT THE COMMUNITY COLLEGE IN KENOSHA TONIGHT. 104 00:04:49,175 --> 00:04:50,717 I TOLD YOU ABOUT IT LAST WEEK. 105 00:04:50,885 --> 00:04:52,803 YOU MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT. 106 00:04:52,971 --> 00:04:55,097 YES, I DID. REMEMBER? 107 00:04:55,265 --> 00:04:57,599 YOU WERE WATCHING "BARETTA." 108 00:04:57,767 --> 00:04:59,207 OH, MIDGE, YOU CAN'T TELL ME ANYTHING 109 00:04:59,269 --> 00:05:00,435 WHILE I'M WATCHING "BARETTA." 110 00:05:00,603 --> 00:05:02,437 IT'S COMPLICATED. 111 00:05:02,605 --> 00:05:04,045 BOB, I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU FOR MONTHS 112 00:05:04,148 --> 00:05:07,693 HOW I'VE NEEDED TO EXPAND MY MIND. 113 00:05:07,860 --> 00:05:09,027 IS THIS ABOUT JEWELRY? 114 00:05:09,195 --> 00:05:11,113 'CAUSE I'LL BUY YOU JEWELRY. 115 00:05:11,281 --> 00:05:12,531 NO, SWEETIE. 116 00:05:12,699 --> 00:05:15,367 IT'S ABOUT ME BECOMING A WHOLE PERSON. 117 00:05:15,535 --> 00:05:17,119 MIDGIE, DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY, 118 00:05:17,287 --> 00:05:19,788 BUT THAT'S JUST STUPID. 119 00:05:19,956 --> 00:05:22,291 WELL, I DON'T THINK IT'S YOUR DECISION. 120 00:05:22,458 --> 00:05:23,792 WELL, I'M THE MAN OF THE HOUSE, 121 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:26,795 AND I SAY YOU'RE NOT GOIN' TO COMMUNITY COLLEGE. 122 00:05:26,963 --> 00:05:28,547 YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, 123 00:05:28,715 --> 00:05:31,508 YOU BIG... ASS. 124 00:05:42,979 --> 00:05:45,022 WHAT ARE WE LOOKING AT? 125 00:05:45,189 --> 00:05:48,108 THAT SCRATCH. 126 00:05:56,701 --> 00:05:58,744 WHAT SCRATCH? 127 00:05:58,911 --> 00:06:01,455 THE SCRATCH THAT ERIC PUT IN THE CAR. 128 00:06:01,622 --> 00:06:03,957 I GOT MOST OF IT OUT WITH RUBBING COMPOUND. 129 00:06:04,125 --> 00:06:05,751 YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT BEFORE. 130 00:06:05,918 --> 00:06:08,503 IT WAS A DOOZIE. 131 00:06:08,671 --> 00:06:10,589 WELL, THAT MUST HAVE BEEN QUITE AN ACCIDENT. 132 00:06:10,757 --> 00:06:14,509 WAS HE KILLED? 133 00:06:14,677 --> 00:06:15,927 SEE? 134 00:06:16,095 --> 00:06:19,806 THAT'S WHERE HIS SMART MOUTH COMES FROM? 135 00:06:19,974 --> 00:06:23,143 DRIVER SAFETY IS SERIOUS BUSINESS, KITTY. 136 00:06:23,311 --> 00:06:24,936 WELL, YOU'RE RIGHT, RED. 137 00:06:25,104 --> 00:06:27,272 WE SHOULD TEACH HIM A LESSON. 138 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:29,149 SO WHEN HE COMES HOME, I'LL HOLD HIM DOWN, 139 00:06:29,317 --> 00:06:32,319 AND YOU BURN HIM WITH A CIGARETTE. 140 00:06:37,658 --> 00:06:38,950 JUST SO YOU KNOW, DONNA, 141 00:06:39,118 --> 00:06:41,495 WHEN I FINALLY DECIDE TO DO IT WITH MICHAEL, 142 00:06:41,662 --> 00:06:43,789 I HAVE THE WHOLE THING PLANNED OUT. 143 00:06:43,956 --> 00:06:48,668 FIRST, I'LL BE WEARING SOME VERY SEXY RENOIR. 144 00:06:48,836 --> 00:06:51,546 DON'T YOU MEAN PEIGNOIR? 145 00:06:51,714 --> 00:06:54,883 YEAH, OKAY, WHATEVER. STOP RUINING THIS, DONNA. 146 00:06:55,051 --> 00:06:57,052 OKAY. 147 00:06:57,220 --> 00:07:02,307 AND THEN THERE'LL BE CANDLES EVERYWHERE. 148 00:07:02,475 --> 00:07:08,188 AND ALSO THERE'LL BE A GIGANTIC BANNER. 149 00:07:08,356 --> 00:07:10,399 THEN MICHAEL WILL COME IN, 150 00:07:10,566 --> 00:07:13,902 AND THE WIND WILL BE BLOWING. 151 00:07:14,070 --> 00:07:19,282 IT'LL BE THE MOST MAGICAL NIGHT OF OUR LIVES. 152 00:07:22,995 --> 00:07:25,831 SO, IF YOU HAVE IT ALL PLANNED OUT, 153 00:07:25,998 --> 00:07:27,582 WHY ARE YOU, UH... 154 00:07:27,750 --> 00:07:29,626 WHY YOU STILL WAITING? 155 00:07:29,794 --> 00:07:32,254 I WANT IT TO BE REALLY, REALLY SPECIAL. 156 00:07:32,422 --> 00:07:33,922 WELL, I MEAN, HOW CAN IT NOT 157 00:07:34,090 --> 00:07:35,257 WITH A GIGANTIC BANNER? 158 00:07:35,425 --> 00:07:37,551 EXACTLY. 159 00:07:38,469 --> 00:07:40,053 BOB DOESN'T WANT ME TO TAKE THIS CLASS, 160 00:07:40,221 --> 00:07:41,763 BUT IT SOUNDS SO EXCITING. 161 00:07:41,931 --> 00:07:43,974 IT'S ALL ABOUT FEMALE EMPOWERMENT. 162 00:07:44,142 --> 00:07:47,060 IT'S CALLED "THE WOMAN WARRIOR:" 163 00:07:47,228 --> 00:07:50,272 FIGHTING FEMALE STEREOTYPES." 164 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:53,316 THAT'S THE PROFESSOR. ISN'T HE CUTE? 165 00:07:54,402 --> 00:07:56,611 UH-HUH, DARLING. 166 00:07:56,779 --> 00:07:59,281 SO? YOU WANNA COME? 167 00:07:59,449 --> 00:08:00,657 OH, WELL, UM... 168 00:08:00,825 --> 00:08:03,785 I CAN'T SAY I'M NOT TEMPTED. 169 00:08:03,953 --> 00:08:06,746 YES, I CAN. I'M NOT TEMPTED. 170 00:08:06,914 --> 00:08:09,040 DON'T YOU WANT TO BECOME AN EMPOWERED WOMAN? 171 00:08:09,208 --> 00:08:10,375 WELL, YOU KNOW. I JUST... 172 00:08:10,543 --> 00:08:12,919 I DON'T HAVE TIME TO BE AN EMPOWERED WOMAN. 173 00:08:13,087 --> 00:08:16,047 I'M TOO BUSY RUNNING THIS HOUSEHOLD. 174 00:08:16,215 --> 00:08:18,425 YOU'RE SO LUCKY, KITTY. YOU HAVE IT ALL. 175 00:08:18,593 --> 00:08:20,802 A GREAT FAMILY AND A GREAT CAREER. 176 00:08:20,970 --> 00:08:23,513 HOW DID YOU TALK RED INTO LETTING YOU WORK? 177 00:08:23,681 --> 00:08:25,640 OKAY, WELL, ONE DAY WE SAT DOWN, 178 00:08:25,808 --> 00:08:27,100 WE DID ALL OUR BILLS, 179 00:08:27,268 --> 00:08:30,228 AND WE REALIZED WE WERE GONNA LOSE THE HOUSE. 180 00:08:33,900 --> 00:08:36,985 THIS BACK SEAT SUCKS. 181 00:08:37,153 --> 00:08:38,612 IT'S... IT'S TOO SMALL. 182 00:08:38,779 --> 00:08:41,114 FEZ'S LEG IS TOUCHING MINE. 183 00:08:41,282 --> 00:08:44,409 NO, YOUR LEG IS TOUCHING MINE. 184 00:08:44,577 --> 00:08:46,453 I SHOULDN'T EVEN BE IN THE BACK SEAT. 185 00:08:46,621 --> 00:08:48,788 I SHOULD BE DRIVING MY OWN CAR. 186 00:08:48,956 --> 00:08:50,876 WELL, THE REASON YOU'RE NOT DRIVING YOUR OWN CAR, 187 00:08:50,917 --> 00:08:52,751 FORMAN, IS BECAUSE YOU'RE IRRESPONSIBLE 188 00:08:52,919 --> 00:08:56,171 AND YOU SCRATCHED IT. 189 00:08:56,339 --> 00:08:58,507 HEH, THAT'S A GOOD ONE. 190 00:08:58,674 --> 00:09:01,843 AAH! 191 00:09:02,011 --> 00:09:06,097 I'M TRYING TO DRIVE THE CAR HERE, MAN. 192 00:09:10,186 --> 00:09:12,604 NO, PUT IT BACK. I LIKE THAT SONG. 193 00:09:12,772 --> 00:09:16,066 WHY DON'T YOU PIPE DOWN THERE, BACK-SEAT CHARLIE? 194 00:09:18,861 --> 00:09:21,530 ALL RIGHT! 195 00:09:21,697 --> 00:09:24,699 THE BACK SEAT SUCKS. 196 00:09:24,867 --> 00:09:28,578 WELCOME TO MY SAD LITTLE WORLD. 197 00:09:38,798 --> 00:09:40,048 OH, GREAT. NO PICKLES. 198 00:09:40,216 --> 00:09:42,634 NOW WE GOTTA GO BACK. 199 00:09:42,802 --> 00:09:45,011 SHUT UP! 200 00:09:47,139 --> 00:09:48,515 HEY, WHY DOES SULLY HAVE A STATUE 201 00:09:48,683 --> 00:09:52,060 OF THE VIRGIN MARY ON HIS DASHBOARD? 202 00:09:52,228 --> 00:09:54,854 MAYBE HE'S, LIKE, RELIGIOUS OR SOMETHING? 203 00:09:55,022 --> 00:09:58,024 WASN'T SULLY IN PRISON FOR ARSON? 204 00:09:58,192 --> 00:09:59,859 YEAH, PEOPLE THAT BURN STUFF 205 00:10:00,027 --> 00:10:04,239 BELIEVE IN GOD, TOO, HYDE. 206 00:10:04,407 --> 00:10:08,285 WHY DOES THE KEY CHAIN SAY "I LOVE BINGO"? 207 00:10:08,452 --> 00:10:11,246 SULLY MUST LOVE BINGO. 208 00:10:11,414 --> 00:10:12,581 ALL RIGHT. 209 00:10:12,748 --> 00:10:15,000 I'M STARTING TO THINK THAT MAYBE THIS ISN'T SULLY'S CAR. 210 00:10:15,167 --> 00:10:16,751 THEN WHOSE CAR IS IT? 211 00:10:41,444 --> 00:10:44,362 THIS IS GREAT. I'M DEAD. 212 00:10:44,530 --> 00:10:46,031 YOU KNOW, WHEN WE WERE IN MY CAR 213 00:10:46,198 --> 00:10:47,918 AND I WAS RUNNING THE SHOW, I DON'T REMEMBER 214 00:10:47,992 --> 00:10:50,702 ONE SINGLE TIME WE ALL GOT ARRESTED. 215 00:10:50,870 --> 00:10:52,454 THAT'S TRUE. 216 00:10:52,622 --> 00:10:53,997 HEY, ERIC, WILL YOU JUST RELAX? 217 00:10:54,165 --> 00:10:55,749 WE'RE ALL IN TROUBLE HERE. 218 00:10:55,916 --> 00:10:57,334 OH, NO, NO, NO. 219 00:10:57,501 --> 00:10:59,085 NO, NO, NO, NO. 220 00:10:59,253 --> 00:11:01,296 WE'RE NOT ALL IN TROUBLE HERE. 221 00:11:01,464 --> 00:11:02,881 YOUR PARENTS HAVE 7 KIDS. 222 00:11:03,049 --> 00:11:05,800 THEY WON'T EVEN NOTICE YOU'RE GONE. 223 00:11:05,968 --> 00:11:08,970 YOUR PARENTS DON'T EVEN LIVE IN THIS COUNTRY. 224 00:11:09,138 --> 00:11:14,309 AND YOUR MOM... PROBABLY ONE CELL OVER. 225 00:11:14,477 --> 00:11:16,019 SO THAT JUST LEAVES ME. 226 00:11:16,187 --> 00:11:18,813 I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO'S REALLY IN TROUBLE HERE. 227 00:11:18,981 --> 00:11:21,066 LOOK, FORMAN, I'LL BE IN AS MUCH TROUBLE AS YOU ARE 228 00:11:21,233 --> 00:11:25,820 AS SOON AS EDNA SOBERS UP. 229 00:11:25,988 --> 00:11:31,826 I WILL BE DEPORTED. 230 00:11:31,994 --> 00:11:34,537 THEY'RE GONNA SEND ME BACK TO MY HOMELAND, 231 00:11:34,705 --> 00:11:36,956 THE BEAUTIFUL ISLAND OF... 232 00:11:37,667 --> 00:11:39,876 OKAY, WHO'S THE RINGLEADER HERE? 233 00:11:40,044 --> 00:11:42,379 HE IS. 234 00:11:42,546 --> 00:11:44,089 YOU GET ONE PHONE CALL. 235 00:11:44,256 --> 00:11:45,423 TO ANYWHERE? 236 00:11:45,591 --> 00:11:49,094 ONE LOCAL PHONE CALL. 237 00:11:50,638 --> 00:11:52,097 SO, WHO SHOULD WE CALL? 238 00:11:52,264 --> 00:11:55,266 I'D CALL RED, BUT I FEEL SAFER IN JAIL. 239 00:11:56,811 --> 00:12:01,398 I, UH, DON'T KNOW MY PHONE NUMBER. 240 00:12:01,565 --> 00:12:04,150 I CAN'T CALL EDNA, MAN. IT'S POKER NIGHT. 241 00:12:04,318 --> 00:12:05,598 NO OFFENSE, BUT ISN'T EVERY NIGHT 242 00:12:05,736 --> 00:12:09,239 "POKE 'ER NIGHT" FOR EDNA? 243 00:12:14,412 --> 00:12:15,578 NO, NO, NO. I GOT IT. 244 00:12:15,746 --> 00:12:18,206 I'LL CALL JACKIE. 245 00:12:20,668 --> 00:12:22,127 HER DAD'S A LAWYER, 246 00:12:22,294 --> 00:12:26,923 AND SHE'S GOT A CHECKBOOK. 247 00:12:27,091 --> 00:12:28,258 HELLO? 248 00:12:28,426 --> 00:12:31,553 JACKIE? OH, THANK GOD YOU'RE HOME. 249 00:12:31,721 --> 00:12:33,012 I WAS DRIVING A STOLEN CAR, 250 00:12:33,180 --> 00:12:34,931 AND I GOT ARRESTED. 251 00:12:35,099 --> 00:12:37,016 OH, MICHAEL, THIS IS JUST LIKE THE BOOK 252 00:12:37,184 --> 00:12:39,102 "PRISONER OF LOVE" WHERE CLIFF, 253 00:12:39,270 --> 00:12:41,438 THE RUGGED YET SWEET MOTORCYCLE MECHANIC, 254 00:12:41,605 --> 00:12:43,815 WAS THROWN INTO JAIL, 255 00:12:43,983 --> 00:12:45,859 AND THEN HIS TRUE LOVE TASHA WAS FORCED 256 00:12:46,026 --> 00:12:48,737 TO BE A SLAVE FOR THIS REALLY RICH MEAN GUY. 257 00:12:48,904 --> 00:12:50,144 JACKIE, I'M NOT KIDDING AROUND. 258 00:12:50,281 --> 00:12:53,700 I'M REALLY IN JAIL. 259 00:12:53,868 --> 00:12:56,244 OH MY GOD. ARE YOU OKAY? 260 00:12:56,412 --> 00:12:57,996 YEAH, I GUESS, 261 00:12:58,164 --> 00:13:00,248 BUT I'M A LITTLE COLD. 262 00:13:00,416 --> 00:13:03,918 IT'S LONELY IN THE JOINT, JACKIE. 263 00:13:04,086 --> 00:13:05,920 OH MY GOD. YOU'RE REALLY IN JAIL. 264 00:13:06,088 --> 00:13:08,047 WHAT IF YOU NEVER GET OUT? 265 00:13:08,215 --> 00:13:11,259 THAT WOULD REALLY... SUCK? 266 00:13:11,427 --> 00:13:13,261 YES, IT WOULD, MICHAEL, AND I PROMISE, 267 00:13:13,429 --> 00:13:14,709 THE MINUTE YOU GET OUT OF PRISON, 268 00:13:14,847 --> 00:13:17,015 I'M GONNA PROVE MY LOVE TO YOU. 269 00:13:17,183 --> 00:13:20,810 COOL. THANKS. 270 00:13:20,978 --> 00:13:22,145 MICHAEL, DO YOU EVEN KNOW 271 00:13:22,313 --> 00:13:23,563 WHAT I'M SAYING TO YOU? 272 00:13:23,731 --> 00:13:26,191 YEAH. 273 00:13:26,358 --> 00:13:29,068 NO. 274 00:13:29,236 --> 00:13:31,946 WE'RE GONNA MAKE LOVE, YOU IDIOT. 275 00:13:32,114 --> 00:13:34,741 ALL RIGHT! 276 00:13:45,169 --> 00:13:46,878 YOU TWO HAVE A NICE LITTLE TALK? 277 00:13:47,046 --> 00:13:49,005 OH YEAH! 278 00:13:51,509 --> 00:13:52,717 YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY? 279 00:13:52,885 --> 00:13:54,052 WHAT? 280 00:13:54,220 --> 00:13:55,428 NOTHING! 281 00:13:55,596 --> 00:13:59,265 BECAUSE YOU FORGOT TO ASK HER FOR HELP, YOU MORON! 282 00:14:00,434 --> 00:14:03,186 OH MY GOD. YOU'RE RIGHT. 283 00:14:03,354 --> 00:14:05,605 GIVE ME ANOTHER DIME. 284 00:14:05,773 --> 00:14:08,233 WE ONLY HAD ONE DIME. 285 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:11,486 WE ONLY GOT ONE PHONE CALL. 286 00:14:11,654 --> 00:14:14,113 OH MY GOD. 287 00:14:14,281 --> 00:14:15,448 SOMEBODY GIVE ME A SPOON. 288 00:14:15,616 --> 00:14:18,993 I'M GONNA DIG MY WAY OUTTA HERE. 289 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,167 LOOK AT THIS. 290 00:14:26,335 --> 00:14:27,695 HERE WE ARE SITTING DOWN TO DINNER, 291 00:14:27,711 --> 00:14:29,337 ERIC'S NOT EVEN HOME YET. 292 00:14:29,505 --> 00:14:31,464 WELL, HONEY, YOU TOOK AWAY HIS CAR. 293 00:14:31,632 --> 00:14:35,134 HE HAS TO WALK EVERYWHERE. 294 00:14:35,302 --> 00:14:37,804 WALKING'S GOOD FOR HIM. 295 00:14:37,972 --> 00:14:40,849 RED, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO HARD ON HIM? 296 00:14:41,016 --> 00:14:43,685 SAME REASON MY OLD MAN WAS HARD ON ME... 297 00:14:43,853 --> 00:14:46,604 TO PREPARE ME FOR THE WORLD. 298 00:14:46,772 --> 00:14:49,232 YOU KNOW, KITTY, WHEN I WAS HIS AGE, 299 00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:52,277 I COULD HAVE PARACHUTED ONTO A DESERTED ISLAND 300 00:14:52,444 --> 00:14:54,821 WITH NOTHING BUT A SWISS ARMY KNIFE, 301 00:14:54,989 --> 00:14:57,824 AND I'D HAVE SURVIVED. 302 00:14:57,992 --> 00:14:59,325 WELL, OKAY, THEN, WE'VE LEARNED SOMETHING... 303 00:14:59,493 --> 00:15:02,912 NO SKYDIVING FOR ERIC. 304 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:06,040 I TELL YOU, KITTY, THE WORLD IS A TOUGH PLACE. 305 00:15:06,208 --> 00:15:08,668 YOU DROP YOUR GUARD FOR ONE SECOND, 306 00:15:08,836 --> 00:15:12,964 AND IT'LL KICK YOU RIGHT IN THE ASS. 307 00:15:13,132 --> 00:15:17,719 WELL, YOU'RE RIGHT, RED, THE WORLD IS HARD. 308 00:15:17,887 --> 00:15:20,889 SO WOULDN'T IT BE NICE IF ERIC CAME HOME TO A PLACE 309 00:15:21,056 --> 00:15:24,225 THAT WASN'T? 310 00:15:24,393 --> 00:15:25,810 ALL RIGHT, KITTY, 311 00:15:25,978 --> 00:15:27,687 WHEN YOU WIN THE LOTTERY, 312 00:15:27,855 --> 00:15:31,024 YOU CAN BUY HIM DISNEYLAND. 313 00:15:34,403 --> 00:15:36,237 I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE WENT TO THAT CLASS. 314 00:15:36,405 --> 00:15:40,909 MARRIED WOMEN DO NOT ABANDON THEIR FAMILIES. 315 00:15:41,076 --> 00:15:43,912 SURE THEY DO, DAD. IT'S THE SEVENTIES. 316 00:15:44,705 --> 00:15:45,914 I KNOW WHAT DECADE IT IS. 317 00:15:46,081 --> 00:15:47,582 DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT I'M EATING A SANDWICH 318 00:15:47,750 --> 00:15:50,084 INSTEAD OF A HOT MEAL. 319 00:15:50,252 --> 00:15:53,379 WELL, WANT ME TO MICROWAVE IT FOR YOU? 320 00:15:54,423 --> 00:15:56,966 I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY SHE NEEDS THIS. 321 00:15:57,134 --> 00:15:58,676 I'VE GIVEN HER A GREAT LIFE. 322 00:15:58,844 --> 00:16:01,262 DAD, THAT'S NOT THE ISSUE. 323 00:16:01,430 --> 00:16:02,931 THE WHOLE POINT OF THE EQUAL RIGHTS 324 00:16:03,098 --> 00:16:04,538 AMENDMENT IS SO THAT WOMEN DON'T HAVE 325 00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:06,976 TO DEFINE THEMSELVES BY A MAN. 326 00:16:07,144 --> 00:16:08,311 DONNA, IS THIS ABOUT CLOTHES? 327 00:16:08,479 --> 00:16:10,438 'CAUSE I COULD BUY YOU CLOTHES. 328 00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:15,193 THIS IS POINTLESS. 329 00:16:15,361 --> 00:16:16,527 HEY, WHILE YOU'RE UP, 330 00:16:16,695 --> 00:16:19,614 YOU WANNA GET DADDY A BEER? 331 00:16:19,782 --> 00:16:22,075 HONEY? 332 00:16:23,911 --> 00:16:26,287 ERIC, YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING, MAN. 333 00:16:26,455 --> 00:16:27,622 ME? 334 00:16:27,790 --> 00:16:30,166 HEY, WHAT ABOUT YOU, KELSO, OR HYDE? 335 00:16:30,334 --> 00:16:35,129 I CAN'T TALK TO COPS, MAN. I GO INSANE WITH RAGE. 336 00:16:35,297 --> 00:16:38,007 OH, AND... ME TOO. 337 00:16:38,175 --> 00:16:41,052 NUTS. WHOO! 338 00:16:41,220 --> 00:16:43,429 ERIC, YOU GOTTA HELP US. 339 00:16:43,597 --> 00:16:48,810 SO NOW I'M BACK IN CHARGE? THIS IS SO TYPICAL. 340 00:16:50,479 --> 00:16:51,980 OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? FINE. 341 00:16:52,147 --> 00:16:54,482 ONCE AGAIN, I'LL SUCK IT UP, BE THE MAN, 342 00:16:54,650 --> 00:16:57,443 AND SAVE ALL OF YOUR SORRY ASSES. 343 00:17:01,532 --> 00:17:04,450 OFFICER, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU, PLEASE. 344 00:17:08,831 --> 00:17:11,124 YOU GOTTA LET ME GO! 345 00:17:11,291 --> 00:17:12,458 PLEASE, GOD! 346 00:17:12,626 --> 00:17:14,627 MY DAD'S GONNA KILL ME. 347 00:17:14,795 --> 00:17:16,254 YOU STOLE A CAR, KID. 348 00:17:16,422 --> 00:17:19,382 WHAT KINDA COP WOULD I BE IF I JUST LET YOU GO? 349 00:17:19,550 --> 00:17:23,094 MY BEST FRIEND THE COP? 350 00:17:23,262 --> 00:17:24,595 LOOK, IT REALLY WASN'T MY FAULT. 351 00:17:24,763 --> 00:17:26,431 WE BORROWED IT FROM A FRIEND. 352 00:17:26,598 --> 00:17:28,078 YEAH, I HAVEN'T HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE. 353 00:17:28,225 --> 00:17:29,517 HEY, GUESS WHAT? 354 00:17:29,685 --> 00:17:31,019 THEY DIDN'T REALLY STEAL THE CAR. 355 00:17:31,186 --> 00:17:32,603 THEY BORROWED IT FROM A FRIEND. 356 00:17:32,771 --> 00:17:34,313 WELL, ACTUALLY, THEY DID. 357 00:17:34,481 --> 00:17:36,107 TURNS OUT THIS GUY SULLY BORROWED IT 358 00:17:36,275 --> 00:17:37,900 FROM HIS GRANDMOTHER, AND SHE FORGOT 359 00:17:38,068 --> 00:17:39,861 AND CALLED IT IN STOLEN. 360 00:17:40,029 --> 00:17:42,822 NICE OLD LADY, THOUGH. SHE PLAYS BINGO. 361 00:17:44,116 --> 00:17:45,283 OH MY GOD. THIS IS GREAT. 362 00:17:45,451 --> 00:17:46,617 SO WE'RE FREE TO GO? 363 00:17:46,785 --> 00:17:47,952 YEAH. WHICH ONE ARE YOU? 364 00:17:48,120 --> 00:17:49,537 ERIC FORMAN. 365 00:17:49,705 --> 00:17:51,164 FORMAN? 366 00:17:51,331 --> 00:17:54,167 IS YOUR DAD RED FORMAN? 367 00:17:54,334 --> 00:17:56,252 UH... YEAH. 368 00:17:56,420 --> 00:17:59,005 YOU POOR BASTARD. 369 00:18:03,469 --> 00:18:04,635 THANK YOU. 370 00:18:04,803 --> 00:18:07,055 HERE. 371 00:18:15,189 --> 00:18:16,397 SO? 372 00:18:16,565 --> 00:18:19,525 SO, CALL A CAB. WE'RE SPRUNG. 373 00:18:20,569 --> 00:18:22,820 WHAT? WE'RE FREE? 374 00:18:22,988 --> 00:18:24,864 ALL CHARGES DROPPED. 375 00:18:25,032 --> 00:18:28,451 WAIT, THAT IS WHAT YOU WANTED, RIGHT? 376 00:18:33,248 --> 00:18:35,708 LET'S GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE. 377 00:18:46,345 --> 00:18:47,929 OH... 378 00:18:48,097 --> 00:18:50,056 HI, BOB. 379 00:18:50,891 --> 00:18:53,643 MIDGE, I, UH... I BEEN THINKING. 380 00:18:53,811 --> 00:18:55,211 IF TAKING THAT CLASS MADE YOU HAPPY, 381 00:18:55,354 --> 00:18:57,939 THEN I GUESS I'M HAPPY. 382 00:18:58,107 --> 00:19:00,608 OH, SWEETIE, IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME, 383 00:19:00,776 --> 00:19:02,056 AND IT'S ONLY TWICE A WEEK, SO... 384 00:19:02,194 --> 00:19:03,444 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 385 00:19:03,612 --> 00:19:06,239 I THOUGHT THIS WAS A ONE-TIME DEAL. 386 00:19:07,324 --> 00:19:09,617 BOB, YOU CAN'T LEARN TOTAL FEMALE EMPOWERMENT 387 00:19:09,785 --> 00:19:11,285 IN ONE NIGHT. 388 00:19:11,453 --> 00:19:14,288 IT TAKES 10 NIGHTS. 389 00:19:14,456 --> 00:19:15,623 WAIT. UH-UH. 390 00:19:15,791 --> 00:19:18,709 MIDGE, YOU'RE NOT GOING BACK. 391 00:19:19,461 --> 00:19:21,462 APHRODITE, THE GODDESS OF WAR, WOULDN'T TAKE THIS, 392 00:19:21,630 --> 00:19:23,756 AND NEITHER WILL I. 393 00:19:31,598 --> 00:19:32,765 HEY, DAD. 394 00:19:32,933 --> 00:19:35,268 HOLD IT. 395 00:19:39,356 --> 00:19:43,568 ABOUT THE CAR... 396 00:19:43,735 --> 00:19:46,279 I KNOW IT WASN'T... 397 00:19:48,448 --> 00:19:51,242 AND I, UH... 398 00:19:54,329 --> 00:19:57,206 YOU SEE, WHEN I WAS A KID... 399 00:20:02,296 --> 00:20:05,256 MAYBE I CAME DOWN... 400 00:20:06,550 --> 00:20:09,302 EH, HERE'S THE KEYS. 401 00:20:10,679 --> 00:20:13,014 THANK YOU, SIR. 402 00:20:13,432 --> 00:20:14,682 SO, WHERE YOU BEEN ALL NIGHT? 403 00:20:14,850 --> 00:20:16,392 PRISON. 404 00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:19,270 YEAH, OKAY. 405 00:20:23,275 --> 00:20:24,442 JACKIE! 406 00:20:24,610 --> 00:20:27,236 MICHAEL! YOU'VE BEEN SPRUNG! 407 00:20:29,865 --> 00:20:31,032 YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE 408 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:34,035 ON THE INSIDE, JACKIE. 409 00:20:34,203 --> 00:20:37,079 DID THEY BEAT YOU? 410 00:20:37,247 --> 00:20:39,916 YEAH. 411 00:20:40,083 --> 00:20:41,709 DAMN THOSE POLICE. 412 00:20:41,877 --> 00:20:43,252 OH, NO. IT WAS HYDE, 413 00:20:43,420 --> 00:20:45,880 BUT HE REALLY FROGGED ME. 414 00:20:46,048 --> 00:20:48,549 OH, POOR BABY. 415 00:20:48,717 --> 00:20:50,676 THANKS, J. 416 00:20:52,387 --> 00:20:55,056 OKAY, SO LET'S DO THIS THING. 417 00:20:55,224 --> 00:20:56,432 THIS IS SO PERFECT. 418 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,226 I DON'T EVEN MISS THE PEIGNOIR, 419 00:20:58,393 --> 00:21:00,353 THE PIRATE SHIRT, OR THE WIND. 420 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:02,480 WHAT ABOUT THE BANNER? 421 00:21:02,648 --> 00:21:04,565 IT'S OKAY. 422 00:21:04,733 --> 00:21:09,237 THE IMPORTANT THING IS I'M HERE WITH YOU. 423 00:21:09,404 --> 00:21:13,658 AND I'M PREPARED TO GIVE MYSELF TO YOU, 424 00:21:13,825 --> 00:21:17,495 BODY, MIND, AND SOUL. 425 00:21:19,122 --> 00:21:21,457 MICHAEL, THIS IS GONNA BE THE MOST MAGICAL NIGHT 426 00:21:21,625 --> 00:21:25,044 OF OUR LIVES. 427 00:21:28,590 --> 00:21:30,758 OH YEAH. AND ONE MORE THING. 428 00:21:30,926 --> 00:21:32,426 MY PARENTS ARE AT THE A & P, 429 00:21:32,594 --> 00:21:35,221 SO WE ONLY HAVE, LIKE, 15 MINUTES. 430 00:21:56,576 --> 00:21:58,035 YOU GUYS ENJOYING YOUR BURGERS? 431 00:21:58,203 --> 00:21:59,370 GOT ENOUGH PICKLES ON THEM? 432 00:21:59,538 --> 00:22:00,818 THAT'S HOW FATSO BURGER DOES 'EM. 433 00:22:00,872 --> 00:22:02,039 LOTS AND LOTS OF PICKLES. 434 00:22:02,207 --> 00:22:04,667 YES, YES. 435 00:22:04,835 --> 00:22:06,127 YEAH. GREAT. 436 00:22:06,295 --> 00:22:07,503 GOT ENOUGH ROOM BACK THERE? 437 00:22:07,671 --> 00:22:08,838 ACTUALLY, IT'S A LITTLE BIT CROWDED. 438 00:22:09,006 --> 00:22:11,090 GOOD, THAT'S THE WAY IT SHOULD BE. 439 00:22:11,258 --> 00:22:13,467 YES, YES. 440 00:22:13,635 --> 00:22:14,969 I FEEL LIKE GOING TO THE MOVIES. 441 00:22:15,137 --> 00:22:16,304 WHERE DO YOU GUYS WANNA GO? 442 00:22:16,471 --> 00:22:17,638 LET'S GO TO THE RESERVOIR. 443 00:22:17,806 --> 00:22:18,973 MOVIES IT IS. 444 00:22:19,141 --> 00:22:20,808 YES, YES. 445 00:22:20,976 --> 00:22:23,144 I KINDA FEEL LIKE GOING TO THE RESERVOIR. 446 00:22:23,312 --> 00:22:26,105 RESERVOIR IT IS. YES, YES. 447 00:22:26,273 --> 00:22:28,149 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY CARSEY-WERNER PRODUCTIONS AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 448 00:22:28,317 --> 00:22:30,797 CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.