1 00:00:02,329 --> 00:00:05,489 Hey, guys? I'm thinking about getting a perm. 2 00:00:07,762 --> 00:00:10,160 Hyde, can I get the number of your guy? 3 00:00:11,429 --> 00:00:14,293 I don't have a "guy," dumb-ass. 4 00:00:14,363 --> 00:00:17,726 This righteous moss is a gift from God. 5 00:00:17,795 --> 00:00:21,353 God gave me a perm, too, but he hit me below the belt. 6 00:00:26,795 --> 00:00:28,727 What are you doing, Forman? 7 00:00:28,795 --> 00:00:31,284 My stupid Cousin Penny from Florida is coming this weekend... 8 00:00:31,363 --> 00:00:33,624 so my mom's making me clean the basement. 9 00:00:42,196 --> 00:00:44,185 And I'm done. 10 00:00:44,263 --> 00:00:47,990 - Penny? - God, she was always such a tattletale. 11 00:00:48,062 --> 00:00:50,392 "Eric's stealing cookies." "Eric's playing with fire." 12 00:00:50,463 --> 00:00:53,054 "Eric's touching himself." 13 00:00:54,363 --> 00:00:58,193 Yeah, but Eric got her back. 14 00:00:58,263 --> 00:01:01,592 He hit her with the old Ben Gay on the toothbrush... 15 00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:04,151 and the over-the-shoulder wedgie... 16 00:01:04,229 --> 00:01:06,751 and the butt-face gas attack. 17 00:01:06,829 --> 00:01:09,522 - Butt-face gas attack? - I'll show you later. 18 00:01:09,595 --> 00:01:11,788 Thank you. 19 00:01:11,862 --> 00:01:16,885 My favorite was when you trapped her in the revolving door at the library and kept spinning her. 20 00:01:18,363 --> 00:01:20,295 Yeah, she ralphed... 21 00:01:20,363 --> 00:01:23,124 and then she had to keep walking through the puddle. 22 00:01:24,329 --> 00:01:27,386 'Cause it's a revolving door. 23 00:01:27,462 --> 00:01:30,553 It spins in circles. 24 00:01:30,629 --> 00:01:33,061 That's its nature. It just... 25 00:02:13,495 --> 00:02:15,484 - Penny! - Aunt Kitty! 26 00:02:17,129 --> 00:02:21,993 - It's so good to see you! - Oh, my gosh, you have grown so... 27 00:02:22,062 --> 00:02:23,994 Things have... 28 00:02:24,062 --> 00:02:26,425 Good for you! 29 00:02:26,495 --> 00:02:29,950 And good for us. 30 00:02:30,029 --> 00:02:32,893 Oh, geez. 31 00:02:33,929 --> 00:02:35,918 Penny. 32 00:02:37,795 --> 00:02:41,193 You're so... shiny. 33 00:02:44,263 --> 00:02:46,558 I am just so excited you're here. 34 00:02:46,629 --> 00:02:50,857 I have lots of free time these days, so I've gathered up some local foliage. 35 00:02:50,929 --> 00:02:55,554 And I thought we could have a long talk while we make our own potpourri! 36 00:02:57,996 --> 00:03:02,690 Well, thanks, Aunt Kitty, but right now I'd just like to catch up with Eric. 37 00:03:02,762 --> 00:03:05,421 Find out how he got so foxy. 38 00:03:07,096 --> 00:03:11,256 Okay, you boys be nice. But not too nice. 39 00:03:13,329 --> 00:03:16,783 Penny, I know your last trip here I was kind of a jerk, and... 40 00:03:16,862 --> 00:03:19,828 Oh, God, Eric! That was so long ago. 41 00:03:19,896 --> 00:03:24,261 Plus, I can't stay mad at you. You're too cute. 42 00:03:28,529 --> 00:03:33,552 - Hey, guys, what's up? - Oh, hey, you remember my Cousin Penny? 43 00:03:33,629 --> 00:03:37,356 Hey, Penny. I didn't recognize you without Eric's butt in your face. 44 00:03:42,395 --> 00:03:46,521 So, you guys ready for the movies? You can come too. 45 00:03:47,529 --> 00:03:49,791 I guess. 46 00:03:49,862 --> 00:03:52,760 Thanks, but this Wisconsin air is so dry... 47 00:03:52,829 --> 00:03:55,624 I really should go inside and moisturize before I lose my tan. 48 00:04:00,795 --> 00:04:03,091 I have lotion. 49 00:04:03,162 --> 00:04:07,355 I think the best plan is for all of us to go to the movies... 50 00:04:07,428 --> 00:04:11,088 except for me and Penny, who will stay here and moisturize each other. 51 00:04:12,595 --> 00:04:15,527 What? Screw that, I'm gonna moisturize too. 52 00:04:16,829 --> 00:04:20,886 - Michael! - I'll just do, like, a leg or something. 53 00:04:21,896 --> 00:04:23,828 Fine! 54 00:04:23,896 --> 00:04:26,089 Come on. Let me show you to your room. 55 00:04:27,129 --> 00:04:30,254 - Michael! - I'm gettin' Kool-Aid! 56 00:04:30,328 --> 00:04:32,317 Damn! 57 00:04:34,996 --> 00:04:38,019 What losers! Did you see them checking her out? 58 00:04:38,096 --> 00:04:41,858 - Okay, she's not that hot. - I never liked her. 59 00:04:41,929 --> 00:04:44,622 You know, once when we were little she bit me, so I bit her back. 60 00:04:44,695 --> 00:04:46,820 And then she said, "Truce," so I said, "Okay." 61 00:04:46,896 --> 00:04:49,293 And then she bit me again. 62 00:04:49,362 --> 00:04:51,351 Whore. 63 00:04:51,428 --> 00:04:54,792 Slut. 64 00:04:54,862 --> 00:04:59,260 - No, her. - Oh, yeah. 65 00:04:59,328 --> 00:05:01,260 Whore. 66 00:05:04,328 --> 00:05:07,761 Yeah, we'll show Penny with our new sunlamp tans. 67 00:05:09,629 --> 00:05:14,687 How dare she come into our town and try to "out-hot" us. 68 00:05:14,762 --> 00:05:19,127 I know. I mean, we don't go to her town and try and "out-whore" her. 69 00:05:22,428 --> 00:05:26,224 Well, she can't just show up all hot, shaking her butt around our guys. 70 00:05:26,295 --> 00:05:30,227 If our guys are gonna fantasize about moisturizing anybody, it should be us. 71 00:05:32,829 --> 00:05:35,886 Right. But we're not gonna let them do that, are we? 72 00:05:35,962 --> 00:05:38,723 Let's just hope it doesn't come to that. 73 00:05:42,395 --> 00:05:45,418 Have you seen that little stray cat that's been hanging around our house? 74 00:05:45,495 --> 00:05:48,188 Oh, yeah, I met him this morning. 75 00:05:49,896 --> 00:05:51,885 Then he met the hose. 76 00:05:53,662 --> 00:05:57,890 Kitty, we don't need more things hanging around our house. 77 00:05:57,962 --> 00:06:00,427 We already have Steven and Kelso... 78 00:06:00,495 --> 00:06:04,155 and "foreign kid." 79 00:06:07,161 --> 00:06:10,594 Yeah, but they're always busy. 80 00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:14,754 Maybe I should get my own cat. I'm not working. I'm home all day. 81 00:06:17,161 --> 00:06:19,923 Here's my problem with cats. 82 00:06:19,996 --> 00:06:25,122 Best-case scenario: You get the smartest cat in the world. He still craps in your house. 83 00:06:29,896 --> 00:06:33,350 Well, it's just, it would be nice to have something to take care of. 84 00:06:33,428 --> 00:06:35,917 I'll tell you what, Kitty. 85 00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:39,723 Instead of getting a cat, why don't we all just stop flushing? 86 00:06:45,128 --> 00:06:47,356 It's the same thing! 87 00:06:50,962 --> 00:06:54,758 Guys, I'm getting some weirdness from Cousin Penny. 88 00:06:54,829 --> 00:06:58,386 Earlier, she gave me a hug, but this wasn't a cousin hug. 89 00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:03,151 Our middles touched. 90 00:07:03,228 --> 00:07:07,320 And not just for a second. She pressed. 91 00:07:09,629 --> 00:07:14,288 I've heard of "kissing cousins." But have you ever heard of "doin' it cousins"? 92 00:07:14,362 --> 00:07:17,726 'Cause that's what I think Forman should be shooting for here. 93 00:07:17,795 --> 00:07:22,853 Kelso, I appreciate the advice, but your solution to every problem is "do it with her." 94 00:07:25,495 --> 00:07:27,791 Well, it worked with my old science teacher. 95 00:07:27,862 --> 00:07:29,851 C-minus! 96 00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:37,090 Well, unfortunately, Penny is my cousin. 97 00:07:37,161 --> 00:07:42,321 That'd be like looking at my mom and thinking, "Hey, baby, how"... I'm just gonna stop right there. 98 00:07:46,395 --> 00:07:50,327 I've thought that about your mom, but I didn't stop right there. 99 00:07:58,862 --> 00:08:01,350 Surprise! 100 00:08:01,428 --> 00:08:04,189 This oughta keep you company during the week. 101 00:08:04,262 --> 00:08:08,354 Roy's Pet Store? Red, you got me a cat! 102 00:08:08,428 --> 00:08:11,952 Well, it's like a cat. 103 00:08:17,029 --> 00:08:18,961 A fish? 104 00:08:19,029 --> 00:08:21,018 Red, it's a fish. 105 00:08:21,095 --> 00:08:23,960 See? It's like a cat. 106 00:08:25,161 --> 00:08:29,025 - They're both pets. - No, they're not. 107 00:08:29,095 --> 00:08:32,357 Pets are called "pets" because you pet them. 108 00:08:33,762 --> 00:08:35,694 How do I pet this thing? 109 00:08:35,762 --> 00:08:40,217 Well, you just reach in and corner it and give it a rub. 110 00:08:43,195 --> 00:08:47,890 That's the thing about fish: They just love the feel of the human hand. 111 00:09:08,595 --> 00:09:13,084 Jackie! Jackie, wake up. 112 00:09:14,962 --> 00:09:18,052 Oh, my God. Donna, you're totally burned. 113 00:09:18,128 --> 00:09:20,992 Really? 114 00:09:22,028 --> 00:09:24,927 What have you done to me? 115 00:09:24,995 --> 00:09:28,052 Me? This was your stupid idea. 116 00:09:28,128 --> 00:09:30,686 Did you call me "stupid"? 117 00:09:32,262 --> 00:09:34,989 - Ow! - Ow! 118 00:09:35,061 --> 00:09:37,289 - Lobster face! - Ow! 119 00:09:37,362 --> 00:09:39,885 Little Red Riding Bitch! 120 00:09:39,961 --> 00:09:42,086 Oh, my God! 121 00:09:42,161 --> 00:09:45,787 Okay! Now, okay, let's just call a truce. 122 00:09:45,862 --> 00:09:48,191 Fine. 123 00:09:48,262 --> 00:09:50,194 - Ow! - Ow! 124 00:09:50,262 --> 00:09:52,194 Ow! 125 00:09:54,128 --> 00:09:56,720 Don't look at me. Mrs. Paul killed these. 126 00:09:59,762 --> 00:10:02,193 Here. 127 00:10:02,262 --> 00:10:04,387 So... 128 00:10:04,462 --> 00:10:07,553 must get pretty boring living in a fishbowl, huh? 129 00:10:08,595 --> 00:10:12,027 Gets pretty boring around here too. 130 00:10:12,095 --> 00:10:16,925 You know, I used to work at a hospital, and taking care of people... 131 00:10:16,995 --> 00:10:21,519 It felt so good to be needed. 132 00:10:21,595 --> 00:10:23,992 You know, like... like part of a team? 133 00:10:24,061 --> 00:10:28,925 You know, people really depended on me, which I kind of miss. 134 00:10:28,995 --> 00:10:31,894 Oh, at least I don't... I don't miss the bedpans. 135 00:10:44,529 --> 00:10:48,621 Are you sure it's okay for me to do my yoga in here? 136 00:10:48,695 --> 00:10:52,787 Do Aunt Kitty and Uncle Red allow girls in your room? 137 00:10:52,862 --> 00:10:56,487 Well, you're my cousin, so you don't even really count as a girl. 138 00:10:58,262 --> 00:11:01,854 You're like a rock. 139 00:11:01,928 --> 00:11:06,088 A moving, talking, extremely limber rock. 140 00:11:08,562 --> 00:11:12,551 Ooh, that's nice. 141 00:11:17,128 --> 00:11:19,458 - Peterson's Auto Shop. - What? 142 00:11:19,529 --> 00:11:23,052 Peterson's Auto Shop. That's what my T-shirt says. 143 00:11:23,128 --> 00:11:25,686 I noticed you were trying to read it. 144 00:11:30,128 --> 00:11:33,526 That's... Yes. Yes, I was. 145 00:11:33,595 --> 00:11:38,391 I, uh... I kinda have, like, a passion for T-shirt logos. 146 00:11:41,328 --> 00:11:43,919 Okay, well, bedtime for this logo fan, okay? 147 00:11:46,629 --> 00:11:48,618 Off you go. 148 00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:54,394 Uh-oh. 149 00:11:55,729 --> 00:11:57,718 Naughty thoughts a-brewin'. 150 00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:29,021 Penny, you're cold. 151 00:12:29,093 --> 00:12:31,082 Go get a sweatshirt. 152 00:12:32,393 --> 00:12:34,416 Oh. Okay, Uncle Red. 153 00:12:39,527 --> 00:12:45,187 Eric, do I have to tell you to stop staring at your cousin? 154 00:12:47,193 --> 00:12:50,091 Stop staring at your cousin. 155 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,456 Kitty, where's breakfast? 156 00:12:52,527 --> 00:12:56,788 Honey, I'm-I'm running a little late. 157 00:12:56,859 --> 00:13:01,292 I was, um, redecorating Fluffy's bowl. 158 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:03,825 Kitty, it's a stupid fish. 159 00:13:03,893 --> 00:13:07,791 What? 160 00:13:09,093 --> 00:13:11,082 Cinnamon toast, get on it! 161 00:13:18,326 --> 00:13:22,053 Oh, so, decided against the sweatshirt. 162 00:13:22,126 --> 00:13:24,615 It's a bold choice. 163 00:13:24,693 --> 00:13:29,057 I saw Uncle Red leaving, and I wanted to talk to you alone. 164 00:13:29,126 --> 00:13:32,422 See, I kind of have a crush on you. 165 00:13:35,126 --> 00:13:37,853 Okay, Penny, okay. 166 00:13:39,926 --> 00:13:43,689 Look, I don't know what the laws are down in... 167 00:13:43,759 --> 00:13:45,692 Florida. 168 00:13:45,759 --> 00:13:49,782 But up here, the cousin-lovin' is really frowned upon. 169 00:13:51,093 --> 00:13:53,491 That's why I wanted to talk to you. 170 00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:57,821 Last week, I overheard my parents talking, and I found out that I'm adopted. 171 00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:03,355 So, technically, we're not even related. 172 00:14:06,993 --> 00:14:08,982 Well, that's a twist. 173 00:14:10,627 --> 00:14:14,081 And all those feelings that I had about you that would've been wrong? 174 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:16,955 Are pretty freakin' right! 175 00:14:18,859 --> 00:14:21,791 Bring it in. 176 00:14:23,460 --> 00:14:26,085 Now you're warm... 177 00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:28,353 and I don't feel bad about that. 178 00:14:38,893 --> 00:14:41,223 So Penny's not even your cousin? 179 00:14:41,293 --> 00:14:45,248 All right. Well, in light of recent developments, I vote "do it." 180 00:14:46,859 --> 00:14:49,451 Do it, yellow belly! 181 00:14:49,527 --> 00:14:51,992 Look, man, if you don't do it... 182 00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:54,321 I'm gonna do it. 183 00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:56,586 Then I'm gonna make fun of you. 184 00:14:56,659 --> 00:14:59,421 All right, fellas. I guess it's all systems go. 185 00:14:59,493 --> 00:15:01,720 Just... Hey, let's keep this between us, okay? 186 00:15:01,793 --> 00:15:04,055 Hey, what's up? 187 00:15:04,126 --> 00:15:06,456 - Forman wants to nail his cousin. - No. 188 00:15:06,527 --> 00:15:09,788 No, no, no, she's not my cousin. She was adopted. 189 00:15:09,859 --> 00:15:12,587 And what the hell happened to your face? 190 00:15:12,659 --> 00:15:17,251 - What the hell happened to yours? - Burn! 191 00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:21,115 Yeah, I gotta admit, Donna, that was a nice burn. 192 00:15:21,193 --> 00:15:24,387 And I don't mean what you said just there. I mean your face. Nice burn. 193 00:15:24,460 --> 00:15:29,188 Hey, if you ever need a date for prom, you can just flip through the family album. 194 00:15:29,260 --> 00:15:31,885 Oh, God. 195 00:15:31,959 --> 00:15:34,448 You're just jealous because Penny is incredibly hot... 196 00:15:34,527 --> 00:15:37,049 and you're a throbbing red pile. 197 00:15:39,626 --> 00:15:44,082 Eric, my sunburn will fade, but your shame will last forever. 198 00:15:47,193 --> 00:15:51,455 Yeah, well, at least my shame won't... peel. 199 00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:01,848 Hey, there's my girl. 200 00:16:04,126 --> 00:16:06,558 New logo. Nice. 201 00:16:06,626 --> 00:16:09,422 I was just having a glass of milk before bed. 202 00:16:09,493 --> 00:16:11,425 Oh, well, you know, you don't have to rush off. 203 00:16:11,493 --> 00:16:14,617 Sit. Come on. Let's gab awhile. 204 00:16:17,692 --> 00:16:20,090 So... 205 00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:22,955 let's get to the bottom of this crush, huh? 206 00:16:23,026 --> 00:16:25,185 You know what I'd really love to do? 207 00:16:25,260 --> 00:16:28,385 Stay up late and watch movies like we did when we were kids. 208 00:16:28,460 --> 00:16:31,119 Remember? All alone in the dark? 209 00:16:34,559 --> 00:16:37,082 That's a good plan. 210 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:40,887 - And let's wear our jammies! - Excellent addition to the plan. 211 00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:46,225 Oh, but I usually just sleep in a T-shirt and panties. 212 00:16:46,293 --> 00:16:48,282 Is that okay? 213 00:16:50,926 --> 00:16:54,915 Well, so do I! 214 00:16:56,226 --> 00:16:59,249 Er, I mean, you know, man-panties... Er... 215 00:17:01,460 --> 00:17:03,426 Underwear. 216 00:17:03,493 --> 00:17:06,856 - You know what I meant. - Great. The movie starts at 11:00. 217 00:17:06,926 --> 00:17:09,551 - Don't be late. - Okay, I won't. 218 00:17:12,959 --> 00:17:15,289 "Man-panties"? 219 00:17:18,226 --> 00:17:20,953 - Kitty? What happened? - Fluffy died. 220 00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:29,358 Well, if it's any consolation, fish are never even really alive. 221 00:17:30,659 --> 00:17:32,648 They're just less dead. 222 00:17:33,759 --> 00:17:36,191 I know. 223 00:17:36,260 --> 00:17:39,283 You know, he wasn't good company, but at least he was company. 224 00:17:39,360 --> 00:17:41,349 Red, I'm unhappy. 225 00:17:41,426 --> 00:17:43,653 Oh! I gotta go to the store. 226 00:17:45,193 --> 00:17:47,352 I am a nurturer. 227 00:17:47,426 --> 00:17:52,256 I am not gonna be satisfied nurturing something you'd win at a carnival. 228 00:17:52,326 --> 00:17:55,655 Kitty, what do you want? I'll get you anything you want. 229 00:17:55,726 --> 00:17:58,192 Not a cat. 230 00:17:58,260 --> 00:18:02,658 - I want to go back to the hospital to work. - Oh. 231 00:18:02,726 --> 00:18:06,453 As long as it's not a cat, I'm good. 232 00:18:10,026 --> 00:18:15,186 Okay, I think what you mean is, "I'm glad you're doing what makes you happy." 233 00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:17,782 Oh, of course. 234 00:18:19,692 --> 00:18:22,783 And I'm sorry that your fish died. 235 00:18:22,859 --> 00:18:25,450 Don't be. I flushed it. 236 00:18:43,626 --> 00:18:45,785 Good evening, milady. 237 00:18:48,859 --> 00:18:51,654 11:00, on the nose. 238 00:18:51,726 --> 00:18:53,919 Well, we're all alone. 239 00:18:53,993 --> 00:18:58,652 I told Hyde to amscray for a while. So go ahead, take off your robe. 240 00:19:15,326 --> 00:19:17,917 Penny, there's no rat... 241 00:19:20,193 --> 00:19:22,681 Don't, Eric! Don't! 242 00:19:22,759 --> 00:19:26,714 - No, I was... - Eric, step away from your cousin. 243 00:19:28,093 --> 00:19:30,252 No, she's not my cousin. She was adopted. 244 00:19:30,326 --> 00:19:35,917 - I'm not adopted. - Wh-What? What? She's lying! 245 00:19:37,592 --> 00:19:41,422 Eric, I saw her mother give birth to her. 246 00:19:42,459 --> 00:19:44,584 Now, what is going on? 247 00:19:44,659 --> 00:19:48,114 I'm... sleepwalking? 248 00:19:51,459 --> 00:19:54,516 And I'm about to be "sleepkicking" your ass. 249 00:19:59,093 --> 00:20:03,821 Eric, what kind of person would lie about something as serious as being adopted? 250 00:20:07,193 --> 00:20:11,682 A liar who specializes in adoption lies: You. A mean, vindictive person. 251 00:20:11,759 --> 00:20:15,748 - Like someone who would trap someone in a revolving door? - Yes! Ohh. 252 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:26,024 Mom, Dad, can... can Penny and I be alone for a minute? 253 00:20:26,093 --> 00:20:28,354 No! 254 00:20:31,325 --> 00:20:34,917 I'm not raising any flipper grandkids. 255 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:43,888 No. Look, I just want to apologize to Penny. 256 00:20:43,959 --> 00:20:48,891 Fine. When you're done, you head right upstairs. 257 00:20:48,959 --> 00:20:52,288 I'm having Pastor Dave come over for an emergency house call. 258 00:20:56,059 --> 00:20:59,752 I guess this will teach you to play pranks on innocent little girls. 259 00:20:59,826 --> 00:21:03,781 This has taught me a lesson. 260 00:21:03,859 --> 00:21:08,951 And that is that I'm not gonna rest until I get you back way worse than you got me! 261 00:21:10,093 --> 00:21:12,820 Which by the way, wasn't really that bad! 262 00:21:12,893 --> 00:21:16,087 Actually, it's pretty bad. 263 00:21:37,926 --> 00:21:40,323 Cousin Penny went back home, huh? 264 00:21:40,392 --> 00:21:43,881 Oh, wait, did I say cousin? Yeah, I meant cousin. 265 00:21:43,959 --> 00:21:46,823 Looks like that's two hot girls you can't have. 266 00:21:46,893 --> 00:21:50,053 Well, thank you for such a conservative estimate. 267 00:21:50,126 --> 00:21:53,455 - By the way, Donna, here's your copy of the pictures. - Oh! 268 00:21:53,526 --> 00:21:56,084 If you flip through 'em real fast, it looks like Eric's running. 269 00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:58,149 Gimme those.