1 00:00:05,253 --> 00:00:09,218 So, Mr. Hammond said it was fine for me to miss class 'cause I'm already getting an "A." 2 00:00:09,289 --> 00:00:11,910 So just as you suspected, Mom... 3 00:00:11,980 --> 00:00:15,759 I am better than everybody. 4 00:00:15,824 --> 00:00:19,505 All I know is, my little boy was very brave at the dentist today. 5 00:00:20,725 --> 00:00:25,464 Wasn't he? Yes, he was, my "wittle snicklefwitz." 6 00:00:27,579 --> 00:00:30,779 Okay, Mom, uh, when a boy reaches a certain age... 7 00:00:30,846 --> 00:00:34,461 the baby voice no longer comforts him. 8 00:00:34,530 --> 00:00:36,605 It urges him to kill. 9 00:00:38,534 --> 00:00:42,564 - Shh! Shh! - Okay, let's, uh, get you some coffee. 10 00:00:42,634 --> 00:00:45,571 Nobody pukes in the Trans Am. 11 00:00:45,645 --> 00:00:48,910 Mrs. Forman. 12 00:00:48,977 --> 00:00:51,565 Uh-oh, you look mad. 13 00:00:51,635 --> 00:00:55,533 What did Eric do? Bad Eric! 14 00:00:57,081 --> 00:00:59,287 Donna? Why aren't you in school? 15 00:00:59,355 --> 00:01:02,205 No worries. I called her in sick. 16 00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:06,016 I told 'em "lady troubles." No questions asked. 17 00:01:07,235 --> 00:01:10,883 Oh, hey. Easy there, wobbles. 18 00:01:10,951 --> 00:01:12,808 Have you been drinking? 19 00:01:12,873 --> 00:01:15,461 I hope so. 20 00:01:15,531 --> 00:01:19,015 'Cause if not, this whole place is a-spinnin'! 21 00:01:19,087 --> 00:01:21,577 Hang on, boys, it's a twister! 22 00:01:58,743 --> 00:02:01,713 So, my mom and I were at The Hub getting ice cream... 23 00:02:01,785 --> 00:02:04,690 and we caught Donna with Casey skipping school. 24 00:02:04,765 --> 00:02:07,353 And she was drunk, in the middle of the afternoon. 25 00:02:07,423 --> 00:02:11,705 It was like... It was like Sue Ellen on Dallas. 26 00:02:11,779 --> 00:02:15,044 You went to The Hub for ice cream with your mommy? 27 00:02:15,111 --> 00:02:19,305 Why would you tell me that? 28 00:02:19,371 --> 00:02:22,374 Hyde, the point is, he went for ice cream without us. 29 00:02:22,446 --> 00:02:25,318 You cannot pick up a phone? 30 00:02:25,393 --> 00:02:28,113 You know who can't pick up a phone? Jackie. 31 00:02:28,180 --> 00:02:31,479 I broke up with her and she never calls to even say hi... 32 00:02:31,543 --> 00:02:34,929 or to offer me sad, but hot break-up sex. 33 00:02:35,003 --> 00:02:38,170 I mean, that's just selfish. 34 00:02:38,238 --> 00:02:42,650 Guys, my mom's over at the Pinciottis' right now telling Bob about Donna being drunk. 35 00:02:42,722 --> 00:02:45,114 You can't do that kind of stuff in the middle of the afternoon. 36 00:02:45,188 --> 00:02:50,562 It'll mess with your... your... your... your... your... your... thinking thing. 37 00:02:51,531 --> 00:02:54,217 You know what I'm saying. 38 00:02:54,285 --> 00:02:56,229 Yeah, you got to stay sharp, man. 39 00:02:56,304 --> 00:03:00,400 That's why I keep myself pure until 3:00. 40 00:03:00,468 --> 00:03:02,357 2:00. 41 00:03:02,422 --> 00:03:06,321 That's why I keep myself pure until 2:00. 42 00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:09,114 I'm not wearing a watch. 43 00:03:12,256 --> 00:03:16,002 Hey, you know what? Donna getting busted is actually great for me... 44 00:03:16,068 --> 00:03:21,441 because now she's got to realize what a jackass Casey is. 45 00:03:21,513 --> 00:03:23,457 And when she dumps him... 46 00:03:23,531 --> 00:03:28,074 I'll be standin' right here with open arms and a gentle "I told you so." 47 00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:33,869 Oh, yeah, that could happen. After all, I mean... 48 00:03:33,941 --> 00:03:36,114 I made that girl a woman. 49 00:03:38,746 --> 00:03:41,749 I made Jackie a woman... 50 00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:44,279 like, a thousand times. 51 00:03:45,762 --> 00:03:47,803 We stole dead fish. 52 00:03:50,470 --> 00:03:52,742 Dead fish? What are you going to do with dead fish? 53 00:03:52,808 --> 00:03:56,554 You're missing the point, man! We stole dead fish! 54 00:03:56,620 --> 00:03:58,891 Ah, you just don't get it. 55 00:04:00,016 --> 00:04:03,314 - Hey. - Hey. 56 00:04:04,468 --> 00:04:07,318 - I just came by... - I miss you. 57 00:04:07,383 --> 00:04:10,036 - What? - What? 58 00:04:10,105 --> 00:04:13,010 - Did you say you missed me? - No. 59 00:04:13,084 --> 00:04:16,535 - Look, just say you miss me. - Fine, I miss you! 60 00:04:16,608 --> 00:04:19,546 Michael, I miss you too. 61 00:04:19,619 --> 00:04:23,397 And look, I was thinking, since we broke up because I kissed another guy... 62 00:04:23,463 --> 00:04:25,352 what if I let you kiss another girl? 63 00:04:25,417 --> 00:04:28,486 I mean, we would be even, and we could get back together. 64 00:04:28,556 --> 00:04:33,231 Jackie, if you think that me kissin' another girl is going to bring us closer together... 65 00:04:33,297 --> 00:04:36,300 I'm totally willing to make that sacrifice. 66 00:04:37,941 --> 00:04:39,831 Thank you, Michael. 67 00:04:39,895 --> 00:04:42,101 - Yeah. I better go wash my face. - Okay. 68 00:04:45,661 --> 00:04:47,605 Ah, this fish is so stinky. 69 00:04:49,152 --> 00:04:51,872 What the hell are we going to do with the stinky? 70 00:04:51,939 --> 00:04:54,014 It's simple, man. 71 00:04:54,086 --> 00:04:58,880 We're gonna find a place to hide the stinky... and ruin someone's day. 72 00:04:58,954 --> 00:05:04,229 Now, question is: Where, how and who? 73 00:05:12,119 --> 00:05:14,937 The answer is: There, that and Kelso. 74 00:05:18,302 --> 00:05:21,786 Oh, it's like a bowl... a bowl for the stinky. 75 00:05:23,394 --> 00:05:27,359 And we will put it, and he'll never find it, and it will smell forever! 76 00:05:30,250 --> 00:05:34,028 What the hell's going on with you? You're grounded! No arguments! 77 00:05:34,094 --> 00:05:36,430 Dad, I'm not grounded. 78 00:05:36,496 --> 00:05:40,842 Okay, well, then, whatever you think is best. 79 00:05:40,916 --> 00:05:44,083 No, not whatever she thinks is best. You are grounded. 80 00:05:44,152 --> 00:05:48,946 Hey, you're not my mother. You have no say in what I do. 81 00:05:49,021 --> 00:05:51,478 Well, she's got you there. 82 00:05:54,850 --> 00:05:58,628 Okay, let's see. Which chick do I want to kiss? 83 00:06:00,392 --> 00:06:03,810 Oh, no, no, no, Michael. I get to pick the girl. 84 00:06:05,773 --> 00:06:07,684 But you'll pick an "uggo." 85 00:06:07,759 --> 00:06:11,145 You didn't call "no uggos." 86 00:06:12,180 --> 00:06:14,571 Hey, I just thought of something. 87 00:06:14,646 --> 00:06:18,425 Your plan's good and all, but what if the girl that you pick doesn't want to kiss me? 88 00:06:27,170 --> 00:06:29,988 "Doesn't want to kiss me"! 89 00:06:31,751 --> 00:06:34,788 And then I told Donna she was grounded, and she said no. 90 00:06:34,858 --> 00:06:37,763 She said no? 91 00:06:37,837 --> 00:06:40,327 Can you do that? 92 00:06:45,461 --> 00:06:47,667 No. 93 00:06:47,735 --> 00:06:51,034 I need your help, Red. I gotta get Donna away from that guy. 94 00:06:51,098 --> 00:06:55,445 Oh, Dad, you know what's good? Threaten her with the old foot in the ass. 95 00:06:57,089 --> 00:06:59,163 You know, that Casey. 96 00:06:59,234 --> 00:07:03,264 How can such a bad influence live in such a handsome package? 97 00:07:05,417 --> 00:07:08,354 Bad people should have a... a big scar... 98 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:11,180 or an eye patch so you can recognize them. 99 00:07:14,514 --> 00:07:16,588 The problem is... 100 00:07:16,660 --> 00:07:20,341 you know, there's a point when your kids realize you can't do nothin' to control them. 101 00:07:20,408 --> 00:07:22,319 There is? 102 00:07:24,860 --> 00:07:26,772 No. Now stop listening. 103 00:07:28,384 --> 00:07:30,328 Bob, I don't want to get involved. 104 00:07:30,402 --> 00:07:34,562 I've got enough problems with the 14 kids who think they live here now. 105 00:07:36,359 --> 00:07:38,882 Why do I have to hold the fish? 106 00:07:42,254 --> 00:07:45,453 Because that's what the little buddy does. 107 00:07:45,521 --> 00:07:47,432 Oh! Oh! Someone's coming. 108 00:07:47,507 --> 00:07:52,946 So the guy's trying to tell me that his Z28 is the same car as my Trans Am... 109 00:07:53,016 --> 00:07:55,288 except for the decals. 110 00:07:56,635 --> 00:07:59,005 How can people be so ignorant? 111 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:03,483 I see you, Donna! I see you! 112 00:08:03,555 --> 00:08:05,412 - Dad! - Don't "Dad" me! 113 00:08:05,477 --> 00:08:07,388 You're not going anywhere, not with this guy. 114 00:08:09,705 --> 00:08:12,074 You're grounded again. 115 00:08:12,139 --> 00:08:14,509 - How much did we miss? - Shh! Just started. 116 00:08:17,072 --> 00:08:21,386 Dad, I'm gonna do whatever I want with whoever I want whenever I want to do it! 117 00:08:21,461 --> 00:08:23,219 We have to have a talk right now, Donna. 118 00:08:23,286 --> 00:08:28,376 Mr. Pinciotti, sir, let me just say that you're making a lot of sense here... 119 00:08:28,443 --> 00:08:31,348 and I think that when I bring Donna home tonight... 120 00:08:31,423 --> 00:08:34,939 you two ought to sit down and really hammer this thing out. 121 00:08:41,994 --> 00:08:46,602 Okay, that sounds fair. 122 00:08:46,670 --> 00:08:48,526 What? 123 00:08:48,592 --> 00:08:51,978 - You're just gonna let her go off with him? - What else can I do? 124 00:08:52,051 --> 00:08:55,371 Oh, good God, that's it! 125 00:08:56,728 --> 00:08:59,578 Everybody in the living room. 126 00:08:59,643 --> 00:09:01,784 Now! 127 00:09:01,853 --> 00:09:03,928 Not you. 128 00:09:13,032 --> 00:09:14,976 Bob, get in here! 129 00:09:19,663 --> 00:09:21,520 Donna, what has gotten into you? 130 00:09:21,585 --> 00:09:24,817 Skipping school, showing no respect for your father. 131 00:09:24,884 --> 00:09:27,505 - That's right. - Shut up, Bob. 132 00:09:28,535 --> 00:09:31,288 Okay, here's snacks. 133 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:35,510 So, um, anybody need a drink? 134 00:09:35,583 --> 00:09:38,848 I'll take a rum and Coke for the road. 135 00:09:38,914 --> 00:09:41,469 Hey, hey, buddy, little tip? 136 00:09:41,540 --> 00:09:45,090 I think booze is what got you in trouble in the first place. 137 00:09:45,161 --> 00:09:48,328 How could you take this girl out drinking in the middle of the day? 138 00:09:48,396 --> 00:09:52,076 Well, you know how it is. All the older girls were at work. 139 00:09:53,681 --> 00:09:57,066 Can I just say this guy is not boyfriend material. 140 00:09:58,614 --> 00:10:01,966 I agree. You're not going out with him anymore. You two are done. 141 00:10:02,041 --> 00:10:03,953 - No! - All right. 142 00:10:07,678 --> 00:10:11,839 - What? - You got to admit this has been a real hassle. 143 00:10:11,907 --> 00:10:15,042 I mean, it was fun and you're a great girl... 144 00:10:15,110 --> 00:10:18,375 but let's just call it a day. 145 00:10:18,442 --> 00:10:22,472 Wait, you're breaking up with her? 146 00:10:23,983 --> 00:10:26,506 Casey, I thought you said you... 147 00:10:29,588 --> 00:10:34,449 - you know, you said you loved me. - Yeah. 148 00:10:34,522 --> 00:10:38,170 I have this thing where I say stuff I don't really mean. 149 00:10:43,586 --> 00:10:45,530 - Casey... - Look, Donna... 150 00:10:45,605 --> 00:10:49,570 I see what you're gettin' at, and I'm not that type of guy. 151 00:10:52,491 --> 00:10:56,040 Mrs. Forman, what say we rain check that rum and Coke? 152 00:11:07,899 --> 00:11:11,285 Donna, I'm... I'm really sorry. 153 00:11:11,358 --> 00:11:15,486 You're not sorry. You got exactly what you wanted. 154 00:11:16,836 --> 00:11:18,747 - Ow! - Ohh! 155 00:11:33,267 --> 00:11:36,882 Eric, someone here to see you. 156 00:11:36,951 --> 00:11:40,337 - Hi. - Hi. 157 00:11:40,410 --> 00:11:42,551 Okay. Can I get anyone a snack? 158 00:11:42,620 --> 00:11:46,716 - Mom. - Right, right. Have to stop doing that. 159 00:11:50,725 --> 00:11:55,039 So, um, how are you? 160 00:11:59,918 --> 00:12:01,829 Humiliated. 161 00:12:03,601 --> 00:12:05,513 I'm such an idiot. 162 00:12:07,221 --> 00:12:10,486 I got dumped in front of the whole world. 163 00:12:10,553 --> 00:12:12,857 I don't... I don't even know what I said to your mom at The Hub... 164 00:12:12,923 --> 00:12:16,242 and I hate that she saw me like that. 165 00:12:16,318 --> 00:12:18,262 What is wrong with me? 166 00:12:18,336 --> 00:12:20,248 Hey, nothing. 167 00:12:21,796 --> 00:12:25,509 Look, your mom left. Come on, you're... you're allowed to freak out. 168 00:12:25,576 --> 00:12:31,244 Everybody warned me about Casey, and I fell for him anyway. 169 00:12:31,310 --> 00:12:33,352 And he's such a jackass. 170 00:12:34,929 --> 00:12:40,401 You know, I... really, really wanted you to figure that out, just... 171 00:12:42,072 --> 00:12:43,984 not like this. 172 00:12:45,403 --> 00:12:48,341 Eric, I'm just... 173 00:12:48,414 --> 00:12:51,734 - I'm so sorry. - Hey. 174 00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:56,771 I was so stupid. 175 00:13:07,570 --> 00:13:11,600 - Eric, we should be together. - Wait, what? 176 00:13:11,670 --> 00:13:14,673 Let's just, like, forget all this other stuff happened. 177 00:13:16,827 --> 00:13:19,131 Wait. Wait. 178 00:13:21,728 --> 00:13:24,152 Donna, I mean... 179 00:13:24,226 --> 00:13:27,262 if you come running back to me now... 180 00:13:28,359 --> 00:13:30,215 I... 181 00:13:33,420 --> 00:13:35,593 Donna, I can't be your second choice. 182 00:13:35,661 --> 00:13:37,769 But you're not. 183 00:13:40,114 --> 00:13:42,025 Eric. 184 00:13:47,641 --> 00:13:50,295 Oh! Oh, where am I? 185 00:14:02,441 --> 00:14:05,061 Mmm. How about I kiss her? 186 00:14:05,131 --> 00:14:07,589 No way. 187 00:14:07,661 --> 00:14:10,795 She's too tall, too tan, too rich. 188 00:14:10,865 --> 00:14:14,960 Damn, Jackie, I don't want to kiss a short, pale, poor girl. 189 00:14:20,282 --> 00:14:24,662 Okay, look, Michael, all I know is I don't want to stay broken up. 190 00:14:24,735 --> 00:14:28,121 Oh! Okay, you know what, you choose. Kiss any girl you want. 191 00:14:38,412 --> 00:14:40,356 I choose you. 192 00:14:41,872 --> 00:14:44,208 Michael, that is the most romantic thing... 193 00:14:44,274 --> 00:14:47,660 I've ever read, heard about or seen on TV. 194 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:52,985 Yeah, it was pretty romantic. 195 00:14:53,051 --> 00:14:54,995 I could tell while I was doing it. 196 00:14:55,069 --> 00:14:57,143 - Oh, God. - What? 197 00:14:57,215 --> 00:14:59,072 No, it's just... 198 00:14:59,137 --> 00:15:03,233 Look, one week you break up with me, and the next week you're Prince Charming? 199 00:15:03,301 --> 00:15:06,173 I'm an incredibly complex man, Jackie. 200 00:15:08,266 --> 00:15:12,394 Michael, I can't do this anymore. 201 00:15:12,462 --> 00:15:16,656 Look, Michael, if you want to choose me, then choose me. 202 00:15:17,779 --> 00:15:22,935 I mean, really choose me. Let's get married. 203 00:15:28,735 --> 00:15:31,258 What? 204 00:15:32,642 --> 00:15:35,362 Michael, all our problems are because we haven't decided... 205 00:15:35,429 --> 00:15:37,700 we're gonna be together forever. 206 00:15:37,768 --> 00:15:39,679 So let's decide. 207 00:15:40,715 --> 00:15:42,626 Hold on. 208 00:15:44,494 --> 00:15:47,247 You want to get married? 209 00:15:48,274 --> 00:15:50,665 Yes, Michael! Yes, I accept! 210 00:15:50,740 --> 00:15:54,060 Oh! Oh, my God! 211 00:15:54,136 --> 00:15:58,777 You know what? I gotta go tell my dad. And you... you have to buy a ring. 212 00:15:58,844 --> 00:16:02,197 Just think about it: We are going to be the Burkhart-Kelsos! 213 00:16:05,283 --> 00:16:08,035 The Who-hart What-os? 214 00:16:09,511 --> 00:16:12,863 Michael and I are getting married! 215 00:16:15,020 --> 00:16:18,373 Yeah, we heard. That's why we're decorating the van. 216 00:16:20,882 --> 00:16:23,700 But... But not with fish. 217 00:16:24,726 --> 00:16:26,965 Ow! 218 00:16:28,090 --> 00:16:30,197 Let me get this straight. 219 00:16:30,268 --> 00:16:34,713 Donna wanted to get back together and you said no? 220 00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:36,510 I said no. 221 00:16:36,578 --> 00:16:39,428 You said no? 222 00:16:41,255 --> 00:16:43,265 Dumb-ass! 223 00:16:48,718 --> 00:16:51,241 Look, I have my reasons, okay? 224 00:16:51,313 --> 00:16:55,146 What could they be? What could they possibly be? 225 00:16:55,221 --> 00:16:59,349 Casey dumps her and she comes to me? Okay, I'm not a rebound. 226 00:16:59,418 --> 00:17:03,415 So you're too proud to take her back? 227 00:17:03,485 --> 00:17:06,784 And what do you have to be so proud of? 228 00:17:08,354 --> 00:17:10,396 You're not an athlete. 229 00:17:10,468 --> 00:17:15,110 The only smart thing about you is your mouth. 230 00:17:15,177 --> 00:17:17,121 And look at you. 231 00:17:20,013 --> 00:17:23,978 Red... Red, he looks fine. He's just so darn stupid! 232 00:17:25,812 --> 00:17:28,782 I'm... I'm very upset! 233 00:17:28,855 --> 00:17:32,207 Well, stop, okay? 234 00:17:32,282 --> 00:17:34,389 Because, I already feel bad enough as it is. 235 00:17:34,460 --> 00:17:36,918 - Well, you should. - Well, I do! 236 00:17:41,796 --> 00:17:43,707 I love her. 237 00:17:50,540 --> 00:17:54,473 God, why do I always have to screw these things up, you know? 238 00:17:54,545 --> 00:17:57,035 Why does everything always have to be my way? 239 00:17:59,894 --> 00:18:02,285 That's why we broke up in the first place. 240 00:18:02,360 --> 00:18:05,592 Uh-huh, well, we've all known that for a year! 241 00:18:10,977 --> 00:18:13,019 Okay. 242 00:18:13,091 --> 00:18:15,297 Okay, I have to tell Donna how I feel. 243 00:18:16,935 --> 00:18:19,009 Then go! 244 00:18:23,918 --> 00:18:26,342 Oh, Red. 245 00:18:26,416 --> 00:18:28,654 I know. 246 00:18:28,722 --> 00:18:31,114 We're never gonna get him out of the house. 247 00:18:34,424 --> 00:18:36,335 Donna? 248 00:18:40,990 --> 00:18:43,546 Oh, hello, Mr. Pinciotti, Mrs... 249 00:18:43,617 --> 00:18:46,751 I'm sorry, Joanne. I don't know your last name. 250 00:18:46,820 --> 00:18:48,710 I have something to tell you guys. 251 00:18:48,774 --> 00:18:51,592 I love Donna. 252 00:18:51,657 --> 00:18:55,009 Well, she isn't here. We don't know where she is. 253 00:18:55,085 --> 00:18:57,160 And... And it's Stupak. 254 00:18:59,217 --> 00:19:02,766 Well, uh, if it's okay, I'll just wait. 255 00:19:02,836 --> 00:19:06,068 Sure. I always liked you. 256 00:19:06,136 --> 00:19:08,080 Oh, thank you, sir. 257 00:19:08,154 --> 00:19:11,670 But do me a favor. Don't play with her undergarments. 258 00:19:18,148 --> 00:19:20,419 Somethin' reeks! 259 00:19:20,486 --> 00:19:22,495 Man! 260 00:19:24,682 --> 00:19:29,443 - Where are you goin'? - Bus station. I'm going to my mom's in California. 261 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:33,866 Oh, my God. You're runnin' away. 262 00:19:33,939 --> 00:19:37,238 I don't know what else to do. 263 00:19:37,303 --> 00:19:41,300 No, I know how you feel. Jackie wants to get married. 264 00:19:44,286 --> 00:19:46,197 To me! 265 00:19:47,169 --> 00:19:48,894 What? 266 00:19:48,962 --> 00:19:54,052 Look, a lot of people don't know this about us, but Jackie's pretty much in charge. 267 00:19:56,874 --> 00:19:58,916 So it might happen. 268 00:20:01,455 --> 00:20:04,971 But it won't happen if I'm not here. 269 00:20:05,042 --> 00:20:08,307 You know what, I'll drive you. We'll both go to California. 270 00:20:09,303 --> 00:20:12,372 Kelso, are you up for this? 271 00:20:12,442 --> 00:20:15,544 Hey, if the Beverly Hillbillies can do it, so can I. 272 00:20:15,613 --> 00:20:18,103 Great, let's go. 273 00:20:21,635 --> 00:20:25,217 Oh, my God. What stinks? 274 00:20:25,287 --> 00:20:27,558 This town, baby. 275 00:20:27,625 --> 00:20:31,207 We're leaving that smell behind. 276 00:20:31,277 --> 00:20:33,134 Whew! 277 00:20:58,856 --> 00:21:00,767 Kelso! 278 00:21:02,636 --> 00:21:04,646 I'm not gonna tell you again! 279 00:21:04,718 --> 00:21:07,787 Well, I was reaching for my soda. Damn! 280 00:21:11,637 --> 00:21:14,390 Man, Iowa smells like fish too. 281 00:21:17,082 --> 00:21:18,994 Should have taken the bus.