1 00:00:02,809 --> 00:00:06,333 So, Hyde, big job fair tomorrow. 2 00:00:06,409 --> 00:00:08,897 Oh, and you're in luck, 'cause I read that corporate America... 3 00:00:08,975 --> 00:00:13,237 is experiencing a severe shortage of paranoid conspiracy nuts. 4 00:00:14,809 --> 00:00:17,207 I'm not a conspiracy nut, okay? 5 00:00:17,276 --> 00:00:19,265 My history, shop and gym teachers... 6 00:00:19,342 --> 00:00:22,206 secretly started that rumor to discredit me. 7 00:00:22,276 --> 00:00:25,003 I do need a job though since the Fotohut shut down. 8 00:00:25,075 --> 00:00:28,200 And I'm never gonna get my pictures back, which is a real shame... 9 00:00:28,276 --> 00:00:32,140 'cause they'll never let me under the bleachers anymore. 10 00:00:33,809 --> 00:00:35,742 You need a job too, Eric... 11 00:00:35,809 --> 00:00:40,299 since you just got fired from your last job by your own daddy. 12 00:00:40,376 --> 00:00:44,638 Well, at least my daddy's not in jail for bribery. 13 00:00:44,709 --> 00:00:46,675 Okay. So get this. 14 00:00:46,743 --> 00:00:48,732 The radio station I work at... 15 00:00:48,809 --> 00:00:51,640 wants me to work their job-fair booth as "Hot Donna." 16 00:00:51,709 --> 00:00:56,004 All right? As if I'm some object for guys to leer at. God. 17 00:00:56,075 --> 00:01:00,064 - Oh, my God! Spank me! - Oh, mama! 18 00:01:04,242 --> 00:01:06,901 I guess being beautiful has its benefits. 19 00:01:06,975 --> 00:01:08,964 Hey, shut up. I'm embarrassed. 20 00:01:09,042 --> 00:01:11,406 I'm talkin' about me, Donna. 21 00:01:11,476 --> 00:01:14,908 And the best thing about being beautiful is I can get work as a model. 22 00:01:14,975 --> 00:01:18,567 So I don't have to go to the job fair like the rest of you "uggos." 23 00:01:18,643 --> 00:01:20,575 Well, I cannot wait. 24 00:01:20,643 --> 00:01:23,131 Nina will be at the D.M.V. Booth, which means that Fez... 25 00:01:23,209 --> 00:01:26,505 will be making out during a school day. 26 00:01:26,576 --> 00:01:29,098 How many of you suckers have made out during a school day? 27 00:01:31,742 --> 00:01:35,197 How many of you suckers have made out during a school day in the nude? 28 00:01:37,809 --> 00:01:39,798 Then I will be nude. 29 00:01:43,742 --> 00:01:46,731 - Oh, my God! - What? What? 30 00:01:46,809 --> 00:01:50,264 I got startled, 'cause I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. 31 00:01:50,342 --> 00:01:54,001 I'm so handsome, I thought Shaun Cassidy was sitting in the backseat. 32 00:01:55,543 --> 00:01:58,441 Yes. You are a beautiful male specimen. 33 00:02:00,909 --> 00:02:02,898 Except you have a gray hair. 34 00:02:02,975 --> 00:02:04,907 What? 35 00:02:04,975 --> 00:02:07,134 No, I don't- 36 00:02:07,209 --> 00:02:11,005 - Dude, I hit a cop car. 37 00:02:51,342 --> 00:02:53,604 All right, Eric. Listen up. 38 00:02:53,675 --> 00:02:57,164 You know how your mother and I feel about you and Donna getting engaged. 39 00:02:57,242 --> 00:03:00,231 But since you won't listen to reason, I've come to a decision. 40 00:03:00,309 --> 00:03:02,797 If you don't cancel this engagement... 41 00:03:02,875 --> 00:03:04,898 I'm not paying for your college. 42 00:03:04,975 --> 00:03:06,907 What? 43 00:03:06,975 --> 00:03:10,100 Because he loves you. 44 00:03:10,176 --> 00:03:13,142 No, he doesn't. 45 00:03:13,209 --> 00:03:16,539 Yes, he does. He's full of love. 46 00:03:16,609 --> 00:03:19,836 But it's buried, just like treasure. 47 00:03:24,442 --> 00:03:27,601 - Dad, how could you do this? - Oh, it's easy. 48 00:03:27,675 --> 00:03:30,164 Instead of giving $4,000 to a college... 49 00:03:30,242 --> 00:03:32,764 I leave my checkbook in the drawer, count my money... 50 00:03:32,842 --> 00:03:35,502 and laugh like a little girl. 51 00:03:40,342 --> 00:03:42,274 Fine. 52 00:03:42,342 --> 00:03:45,637 - He laughs because he loves you! 53 00:03:45,708 --> 00:03:48,231 Where did you learn your parenting skills? 54 00:03:48,309 --> 00:03:50,332 Korea. 55 00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:56,473 Kitty, I am right about this. 56 00:03:56,543 --> 00:03:59,373 Red, you can't just force people to do what you want. 57 00:03:59,442 --> 00:04:03,737 Oh, see, that's one of those things that people say that's just not true. 58 00:04:03,809 --> 00:04:06,435 Like, "There's no place like home." 59 00:04:09,276 --> 00:04:12,639 Hell, I can think of a hundred places better than this. 60 00:04:14,875 --> 00:04:19,205 - I cannot believe you hit a police car. 61 00:04:19,276 --> 00:04:22,764 Now, don't worry. It's a hot lady cop. 62 00:04:22,842 --> 00:04:25,468 Just watch the master. 63 00:04:27,109 --> 00:04:29,268 License and registration. 64 00:04:29,342 --> 00:04:31,705 Yeah. Just give me a sec here. 65 00:04:31,775 --> 00:04:35,503 My wallet gets stuck, 'cause I've been working out. 66 00:04:38,209 --> 00:04:40,368 My leg muscles are huge. 67 00:04:42,342 --> 00:04:46,331 Oh, boy. By the way, I can bench about 220... 68 00:04:46,409 --> 00:04:49,636 so that'd be about two of you, little lady. 69 00:04:49,708 --> 00:04:52,402 What's your name? 70 00:04:52,476 --> 00:04:55,033 Oh, my name is Fez, but I have a girlfriend... 71 00:04:55,109 --> 00:04:57,597 so you need to cool it, little girl. 72 00:04:59,942 --> 00:05:02,170 Yeah. I'll try. 73 00:05:02,242 --> 00:05:04,867 Okay, Mr. Kelso. 74 00:05:04,942 --> 00:05:07,135 I'm gonna issue you a citation. 75 00:05:07,209 --> 00:05:11,232 Oh, a citation for being too foxy in a school zone? 76 00:05:11,309 --> 00:05:14,434 No. A citation for $64. 77 00:05:14,508 --> 00:05:16,441 Bench-press that. 78 00:05:23,075 --> 00:05:26,700 So if we don't break off the engagement, Red's not gonna pay for my college. 79 00:05:26,775 --> 00:05:29,935 You know, maybe this is it, Eric. Maybe Red won. 80 00:05:30,009 --> 00:05:32,566 No. No, okay? 81 00:05:32,642 --> 00:05:35,802 He's not gonna win. 82 00:05:35,875 --> 00:05:39,568 You know what? I'll just look for something full-time at the job fair. 83 00:05:39,642 --> 00:05:43,904 - I'll pay for college myself. People do that, right? - Yeah, people with skills. 84 00:05:45,975 --> 00:05:50,305 - But I mean, you're cute. That's a skill. - Stop. 85 00:05:50,376 --> 00:05:52,637 How can Red do this to me? 86 00:05:52,708 --> 00:05:55,606 I swear to God, that man is always mad. 87 00:05:57,042 --> 00:06:00,530 I think the gene for joy might be stored in hair. 88 00:06:03,642 --> 00:06:06,767 Well, there are a lot of angry bald men. 89 00:06:07,809 --> 00:06:10,275 Yul Brynner in The K/ng and I. 90 00:06:10,342 --> 00:06:14,501 Yes. Mr. Freeze from Batman. 91 00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:18,837 - Remember that time Robin foiled his deep freeze- - Eric. 92 00:06:21,242 --> 00:06:23,231 What did we talk about? 93 00:06:23,309 --> 00:06:27,604 - Every time I reference Batman, I owe you a geek dollar. - Yes. Thank you. 94 00:06:30,142 --> 00:06:32,370 Guys, something horrible happened. 95 00:06:32,441 --> 00:06:34,374 Let me tell it. 96 00:06:34,441 --> 00:06:37,635 Kelso tried to charm a lady cop, and it didn't work. 97 00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:42,067 But she was all over me, boy. 98 00:06:43,441 --> 00:06:45,430 I'm like freaking catnip. 99 00:06:47,642 --> 00:06:51,870 Guys, today made me realize looks fade! 100 00:06:53,642 --> 00:06:56,165 I'm not- I'm not gonna be able to be a model forever! 101 00:06:56,242 --> 00:06:58,730 I'm gonna have to get a practical, realistic job... 102 00:06:58,809 --> 00:07:01,139 like regular, ugly people. 103 00:07:02,909 --> 00:07:06,705 Okay, so what sounds better- wide receiver or spy? 104 00:07:06,775 --> 00:07:10,673 Well, Kelso, I don't see why you couldn't just do both. 105 00:07:10,742 --> 00:07:13,435 You're right. It's the perfect cover. 106 00:07:21,009 --> 00:07:23,668 Okay. Okay, everybody! 107 00:07:23,742 --> 00:07:26,503 This is your last school field trip, so smile! 108 00:07:28,309 --> 00:07:32,264 Okay, now wave hello to your futures. Hello, futures! 109 00:07:32,342 --> 00:07:36,967 Okay, now wave good-bye to your mothers who loved you... 110 00:07:37,042 --> 00:07:40,633 and gave you the best years of their lives. 111 00:07:40,708 --> 00:07:43,731 Now what are they gonna do? What? Tell me what I am supposed to do! 112 00:07:46,408 --> 00:07:50,738 You're supposed to take your little, yellow pill. That's what you're supposed to do. 113 00:07:50,809 --> 00:07:55,639 Man, look at this place. There's tons of butt-ugly people. 114 00:07:55,708 --> 00:07:58,640 One day I'm gonna be one of'em. 115 00:07:58,708 --> 00:08:00,674 Man, I can't do this. 116 00:08:00,742 --> 00:08:03,435 Being around this many corporate stooges. 117 00:08:03,508 --> 00:08:05,565 I can't breathe! 118 00:08:05,642 --> 00:08:08,302 Steven, stop it! This is serious. 119 00:08:08,375 --> 00:08:12,330 If you keep pulling at cotton like that, it won't rebound. 120 00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:16,239 Well, I'm off to find Nina for a little field-trip make out. 121 00:08:16,309 --> 00:08:19,741 How many of you suckers have made out during a field trip? 122 00:08:23,475 --> 00:08:27,771 What the hell? Was I the only one watching sausage get made? 123 00:08:31,875 --> 00:08:34,739 Well, lookee here. 124 00:08:34,809 --> 00:08:38,207 You know, if America's employers are looking for a pretty-boy moron... 125 00:08:38,276 --> 00:08:41,071 an engaged hophead and a mush-mouthed foreigner... 126 00:08:42,575 --> 00:08:45,201 they're gonna be jumpin' for joy. 127 00:08:45,276 --> 00:08:48,571 Wait a minute. Am I the pretty-boy moron? 128 00:08:48,642 --> 00:08:51,574 - Yes. - Cool, 'cause that's the best one. 129 00:08:56,875 --> 00:08:58,807 - Hey. - Hey. 130 00:08:58,875 --> 00:09:01,397 - So, you're ready for the big job search? - Yup. 131 00:09:01,475 --> 00:09:03,464 I got my résumé, my very best blazer... 132 00:09:03,542 --> 00:09:06,202 and a really charming story about how my biggest fault... 133 00:09:06,275 --> 00:09:09,435 is that I just work too darn hard, so- 134 00:09:09,508 --> 00:09:12,997 - How 'bout you? - I don't know. This is so humiliating. 135 00:09:13,075 --> 00:09:15,064 I mean, I have a brain, you know. 136 00:09:15,142 --> 00:09:17,165 2,000 records sorted by artist and genre. 137 00:09:17,242 --> 00:09:19,231 I didn't do that with my boobs. 138 00:09:20,842 --> 00:09:23,706 That'd be a neat trick though. 139 00:09:27,109 --> 00:09:31,404 I've always been fascinated by the veterinary sciences. Do you have any jobs available? 140 00:09:31,475 --> 00:09:36,170 Yes. We need someone to usher our four-legged friends into the next life. 141 00:09:36,241 --> 00:09:39,503 All right. That sounds fantastic. And how do I do that? 142 00:09:39,575 --> 00:09:42,871 You shovel the carcass into the furnace. 143 00:09:42,942 --> 00:09:45,908 I've always been fascinated by transportation. 144 00:09:45,975 --> 00:09:49,372 - Do you have any jobs available? - Yes, roadkill remover. 145 00:09:50,742 --> 00:09:53,208 Except sometimes the critter's not quite dead. 146 00:09:53,275 --> 00:09:57,174 In that case, you gotta shoot it. You're the "triggerman." 147 00:09:57,241 --> 00:09:59,673 I've always been fascinated by... 148 00:09:59,742 --> 00:10:02,765 meat. 149 00:10:02,842 --> 00:10:06,535 - Do you have any jobs available? - Yes. Triggerman. 150 00:10:06,608 --> 00:10:08,938 Please tell me you're kidding. 151 00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:11,998 The cows don't kill themselves, son. 152 00:10:12,075 --> 00:10:15,802 Although I did see one walk right off a cliff once. 153 00:10:15,875 --> 00:10:20,204 Stock boy. Need a stock boy. 154 00:10:20,275 --> 00:10:22,207 Not you. 155 00:10:30,341 --> 00:10:32,500 So, if I work here... 156 00:10:32,574 --> 00:10:36,301 will I have to slaughter anything? 157 00:10:36,374 --> 00:10:38,306 No, we're a bank. 158 00:10:38,374 --> 00:10:40,636 We're looking for tellers. 159 00:10:40,708 --> 00:10:43,697 Uh, just to be perfectly clear... 160 00:10:43,775 --> 00:10:47,003 I won't have to murder any animals? 161 00:10:48,541 --> 00:10:51,099 Whatever you do on your own time is fine with us. 162 00:10:51,174 --> 00:10:53,766 Hello, First Midwestern! 163 00:10:54,808 --> 00:10:57,569 Hi. I'm Jackie, and this is Steven. 164 00:10:57,641 --> 00:10:59,766 Steven is a no-nonsense Sagittarius... 165 00:10:59,841 --> 00:11:03,534 who's not afraid of hard work or true love. 166 00:11:03,608 --> 00:11:06,403 I'm Dave, a shy Pisces who's looking for love... 167 00:11:06,474 --> 00:11:09,463 and a salesman to sell on commission. 168 00:11:09,541 --> 00:11:12,974 - The more you sell, the more you can earn. - That's perfect for him! 169 00:11:13,041 --> 00:11:16,598 Steven, if you can get me to date you, you can sell anything. 170 00:11:18,741 --> 00:11:20,730 Uh, thanks, but no, thanks. 171 00:11:20,808 --> 00:11:22,740 Wait- 172 00:11:22,808 --> 00:11:26,002 Are you nuts? That guy almost offered me a job! 173 00:11:26,075 --> 00:11:28,563 - So, what's wrong? - Did you hear him? 174 00:11:28,641 --> 00:11:30,630 "The more you sell, the more you earn"? 175 00:11:30,708 --> 00:11:34,606 The more you sleep, the more you earn. That's my job. 176 00:11:34,674 --> 00:11:36,606 Damn, woman! 177 00:11:40,174 --> 00:11:43,572 So, Nina, after walking around the job fair... 178 00:11:43,641 --> 00:11:46,039 and hearing the word "job" a lot... 179 00:11:53,441 --> 00:11:55,430 it gave me needs. 180 00:11:55,508 --> 00:11:57,667 No. We're at a job fair. 181 00:11:57,741 --> 00:11:59,730 Please don't say that word. 182 00:11:59,808 --> 00:12:02,672 I can't go far from my booth. It's my job. 183 00:12:02,741 --> 00:12:04,866 Stop it. 184 00:12:09,408 --> 00:12:11,670 Hi. 185 00:12:11,741 --> 00:12:15,037 One of your officers recently issued me a ticket. 186 00:12:15,107 --> 00:12:17,471 - My name is Michael Kelso. - Michael Kelso. 187 00:12:18,908 --> 00:12:22,067 Wait a minute. Officer Debbie? 188 00:12:22,141 --> 00:12:25,801 Oh, my God! What happened to you? 189 00:12:25,875 --> 00:12:29,238 You're like your own ugly sister! 190 00:12:29,307 --> 00:12:31,239 What do you want, Mr. Kelso? 191 00:12:31,307 --> 00:12:33,865 What do I want? I want to know how one minute you're all "waa-waa"... 192 00:12:33,941 --> 00:12:37,566 and the next you're all- 193 00:12:37,641 --> 00:12:39,732 - Good cripes! - Hey, now- 194 00:12:39,808 --> 00:12:43,570 I'm just saying, in your uniform you were, like, a totally hot police chick... 195 00:12:43,641 --> 00:12:46,630 but out of your uniform you're a total pie face. 196 00:12:46,708 --> 00:12:48,867 I mean, good God! 197 00:12:50,408 --> 00:12:52,340 Wait a minute. 198 00:12:52,408 --> 00:12:56,067 It's, like, you got all your charisma from your uniform. 199 00:12:58,408 --> 00:13:01,135 What is happening to you? Are you having a stroke? What? 200 00:13:01,207 --> 00:13:04,731 No, that's just how I look when I have an idea. 201 00:13:08,808 --> 00:13:11,273 To Eddie. 202 00:13:12,274 --> 00:13:14,706 Love, Hot Donna. 203 00:13:16,174 --> 00:13:19,163 Hot Donna has now signed 87 guys! 204 00:13:20,408 --> 00:13:23,067 And two girls. 205 00:13:23,141 --> 00:13:25,699 It's, like, who knew, in our little town? 206 00:13:25,775 --> 00:13:27,798 Well, I can see you... 207 00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:30,773 got over your little bout of shyness. 208 00:13:30,841 --> 00:13:33,432 Well, what the hell? They think I'm hot. And you know what? 209 00:13:33,508 --> 00:13:37,804 - Hot Donna rules! 210 00:13:37,875 --> 00:13:41,967 So, great news. I got a job at First Midwestern Bank. 211 00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:44,973 Oh, my God! Eric. 212 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:47,506 I know. And they have branches all over Wisconsin. 213 00:13:47,574 --> 00:13:49,904 So wherever you go to school, I'll have a job. 214 00:13:49,975 --> 00:13:52,964 I'll save some money. I can start school, like, a year after you. 215 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:56,871 And I don't even have to slaughter animals. 216 00:13:57,974 --> 00:13:59,907 Was that ever an option? 217 00:13:59,974 --> 00:14:03,964 Ah, apparently it's the invisible industry of Point Place, yeah. 218 00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:07,666 I'm actually surprised the streets aren't running red with blood. 219 00:14:10,007 --> 00:14:12,735 Well, Steven, it is obvious you don't want a job. 220 00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:15,603 No. I was just holding out for one that has a cash register... 221 00:14:15,674 --> 00:14:18,469 with a lock that's very, very easy to jimmy. 222 00:14:18,541 --> 00:14:22,564 - Oh, God! Excuse me. - Oh, it's okay. I probably deserved it. 223 00:14:24,775 --> 00:14:27,605 - Roy. - Steven? 224 00:14:27,674 --> 00:14:29,663 Hey, man. Long time no see. 225 00:14:29,741 --> 00:14:33,798 When my dad left, my mom signed me up for the Big Brother program, and I got Roy. 226 00:14:33,875 --> 00:14:35,807 We had some good times before you left town. 227 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,466 - Yeah, and moved in with a wonderful woman. - Oh. What happened? 228 00:14:38,541 --> 00:14:41,973 She found out I was livin' there. 229 00:14:44,441 --> 00:14:47,964 Roy has some problems with people. 230 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:51,131 They don't like me. Yeah. You don't like me, right? 231 00:14:51,207 --> 00:14:53,696 Not really. 232 00:14:55,441 --> 00:14:59,464 But to be fair, I have very high standards. 233 00:14:59,541 --> 00:15:03,200 Yeah? She's really nice, Steven. 234 00:15:03,274 --> 00:15:05,467 Hey, so what are you doing here? 235 00:15:05,541 --> 00:15:08,098 I work here. Hotel kitchen manager. 236 00:15:08,174 --> 00:15:11,106 I was gonna put out word that we were lookin' for a cook... 237 00:15:11,174 --> 00:15:13,163 but then I figured, why bother? 238 00:15:13,241 --> 00:15:15,434 They'll just leave me like everybody else. 239 00:15:17,608 --> 00:15:21,597 So, Roy, seem a little depressed there. 240 00:15:21,674 --> 00:15:25,538 Yeah, I'm teetering on the brink. 241 00:15:25,608 --> 00:15:27,870 Maybe I can do something to cheer you up. 242 00:15:27,940 --> 00:15:30,270 Really? 243 00:15:30,341 --> 00:15:32,500 Oh, that'd be great. 244 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:39,529 So I'm on the Golden Gate Bridge... 245 00:15:39,608 --> 00:15:42,597 and everyone's tellin' me to jump. 246 00:15:42,674 --> 00:15:45,231 I was just out for a jog. 247 00:15:49,541 --> 00:15:52,803 Okay, Roy, here's what I'm gonna do for you. 248 00:15:52,874 --> 00:15:56,102 I'm gonna take that job as cook and keep you company... 249 00:15:56,174 --> 00:15:58,106 on two conditions- 250 00:15:58,174 --> 00:16:01,867 I'm not gonna work very hard, and you're gonna have to pay me a lot. 251 00:16:01,940 --> 00:16:06,771 But, man, it'll be a bargain considering the money you save on hookers and shrinks. 252 00:16:09,141 --> 00:16:13,971 Great. And if it's work-related, I can call you at home. 253 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,666 Now I have a reason to get a phone. 254 00:16:18,241 --> 00:16:21,469 Steven, you're a chef! 255 00:16:21,541 --> 00:16:24,371 If you can learn to make those fancy deviled-egg thingies... 256 00:16:24,441 --> 00:16:26,703 I will lose my frickin' mind! 257 00:16:31,508 --> 00:16:33,497 So, how's the day going? 258 00:16:33,574 --> 00:16:37,802 Well, let's see. I interviewed 15 potential employees- 259 00:16:37,874 --> 00:16:40,340 10 dumb-asses... 260 00:16:40,408 --> 00:16:43,374 four cretins and a mama's boy. 261 00:16:43,441 --> 00:16:46,929 I vote for the mama's boy. I think they're sweet. 262 00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:48,973 Hey, Dad! Guess what. 263 00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:51,972 I got a job at First Midwestern, so Donna and I can stay engaged. 264 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:55,370 I'll work, she'll study. In a few years, I can pay for my own tuition. 265 00:16:55,441 --> 00:16:57,906 Yea! I win! 266 00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:06,972 Great news! 267 00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:09,835 I'm gonna be a cop! 268 00:17:17,408 --> 00:17:20,738 No. No, listen. It's perfect for me. 269 00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:25,137 The uniform will keep me looking hot even when I'm old. 270 00:17:25,207 --> 00:17:28,071 And plus, I love helping people. 271 00:17:28,141 --> 00:17:30,437 No, you love humping people. 272 00:17:32,541 --> 00:17:35,701 Eric, a lot of times humping /s helping. 273 00:17:37,641 --> 00:17:40,300 So, you're really gonna be a cop? 274 00:17:40,374 --> 00:17:43,636 Well, he did shoot me, so we know he's good with guns. 275 00:17:43,708 --> 00:17:47,504 And you just know they're gonna partner him up with a dog. 276 00:17:47,574 --> 00:17:50,131 Actually, you know what? It's kind of perfect. 277 00:17:50,207 --> 00:17:53,503 He'll get to run through people's backyards with a stick. 278 00:17:53,574 --> 00:17:56,733 He does that anyway. 279 00:17:56,807 --> 00:17:59,739 The important thing is, is that I'll be performing... 280 00:17:59,807 --> 00:18:02,365 a very valuable community service. 281 00:18:02,441 --> 00:18:04,669 And plus, I'll be sexy forever. 282 00:18:06,474 --> 00:18:08,463 I mean, just think about it. 283 00:18:09,740 --> 00:18:14,002 Nobody move! This is a robbery. 284 00:18:14,074 --> 00:18:16,063 Not in my town, dirtbag. 285 00:18:19,274 --> 00:18:23,229 Oh, Officer, not only did you perform a valuable community service... 286 00:18:23,307 --> 00:18:25,898 you'll be sexy forever! 287 00:18:25,974 --> 00:18:29,963 All in a day's work, ma'am. Let's get you into something a little more comfortable. 288 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:32,767 - But I'm already in a bikini. - I know. 289 00:18:39,341 --> 00:18:43,569 Kelso, you do realize you'll have to help ugly people too. 290 00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:47,695 Nah-uh. I'll just leave that for the fat cops. 291 00:18:52,508 --> 00:18:55,599 - Hey. 292 00:18:55,673 --> 00:18:58,003 I just got off the phone with the bank. 293 00:18:58,074 --> 00:19:00,506 I didn't get the job because someone gave me a bad reference. 294 00:19:00,574 --> 00:19:02,563 And then I thought to myself... 295 00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:05,368 "Hmm. I've only had one boss-you!" 296 00:19:05,441 --> 00:19:08,100 I can't believe you blackballed your own son! 297 00:19:08,174 --> 00:19:11,072 As usual, I don't know what the hell you're talking about. 298 00:19:11,141 --> 00:19:14,164 So you're not even man enough to admit it? You know what I think? 299 00:19:14,241 --> 00:19:16,706 You're a bitter, old man who's so miserable in his life... 300 00:19:16,774 --> 00:19:19,706 that you have to make everyone else just as miserable as you are! 301 00:19:19,774 --> 00:19:21,933 - You're pathetic! - Honey. 302 00:19:22,007 --> 00:19:24,496 Your father didn't call the bank manager. I did. 303 00:19:24,574 --> 00:19:27,563 Mom, please stay out of this. 304 00:19:28,774 --> 00:19:31,104 What was that? 305 00:19:31,174 --> 00:19:34,106 - I gave you the bad reference. - Oh. 306 00:19:36,574 --> 00:19:38,835 Then, uh- 307 00:19:41,341 --> 00:19:43,670 I'm just kidding. 308 00:19:47,141 --> 00:19:50,698 Eric, if you take a bank job and put off school... 309 00:19:50,774 --> 00:19:54,866 you'll never go to college, and the bank manager agreed with me. 310 00:19:54,940 --> 00:19:58,031 Plus, I told him you were bad at math. 311 00:19:58,107 --> 00:20:02,801 So there's no job money to pay for college... 312 00:20:04,141 --> 00:20:07,868 no money from you guys to go to college. 313 00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:12,770 Wow. I guess we're really hoping for that football scholarship, huh? 314 00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:14,829 I have a compromise. 315 00:20:16,508 --> 00:20:18,996 Your father and I will pay for college... 316 00:20:19,074 --> 00:20:23,564 if you and Donna will agree to just put off your engagement for one year. 317 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,697 I'm not compromising anything! 318 00:20:27,508 --> 00:20:29,700 He said some hurtful things. 319 00:20:33,673 --> 00:20:38,504 No. I'm sick of being controlled by both of you guys. 320 00:20:40,174 --> 00:20:42,867 You guys can keep your money, okay, 'cause guess what! 321 00:20:42,940 --> 00:20:44,872 I don't want it. 322 00:20:49,007 --> 00:20:52,440 Ma'am! Sir! 323 00:20:52,508 --> 00:20:55,497 We got a call about a domestic disturbance. 324 00:20:57,341 --> 00:20:59,966 Get out of here. 325 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:03,473 Okay, but if I gotta come back out here, somebody's going downtown. 326 00:21:04,940 --> 00:21:07,429 Well, quit it. I'm just practicing. 327 00:21:13,074 --> 00:21:15,006 A-And this is the pantry. 328 00:21:15,074 --> 00:21:19,131 If you ever get really depressed, it's a good place to go and cry. 329 00:21:19,207 --> 00:21:21,672 Also, it's where we keep the mustard. 330 00:21:23,141 --> 00:21:26,301 All right. Cool. Well, uh, I guess I'll see you on Monday. 331 00:21:26,374 --> 00:21:29,363 - Okay! 332 00:21:29,441 --> 00:21:31,804 Okay, man. Okay, Roy. 333 00:21:31,874 --> 00:21:33,806 Get off me! 334 00:21:33,874 --> 00:21:38,102 Oh, I almost forgot to show you the walk-in freezer. 335 00:21:38,174 --> 00:21:40,231 A little privacy, please!