1
00:00:03,047 --> 00:00:04,640
hey, fez, you know
what was awesome?

2
00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,117
That time
you rode that tree.

3
00:00:07,277 --> 00:00:09,262
How did he ride a tree?

4
00:00:09,422 --> 00:00:12,002
Oh, he climbed it,
kelso cut it down.

5
00:00:13,504 --> 00:00:15,571
You guys have
a million stories

6
00:00:15,731 --> 00:00:18,028
and you know each other so well.
It's like you have your own language.

7
00:00:18,188 --> 00:00:20,523
I don't even understand
half the things you say.

8
00:00:20,704 --> 00:00:24,821
If you understand anything that fez says,
you're the only one. Burn!

9
00:00:26,967 --> 00:00:31,907
Oh, kelso can't understand me? Now I know
how it feels to be a book. Ah-burn!

10
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:39,751
See? Man, I wanna burn somebody
so I can be part of the gang.

11
00:00:39,910 --> 00:00:41,105
This gang?

12
00:00:41,265 --> 00:00:44,881
Angie, the only reason this gang formed
was because no one would let us into their gang.

13
00:00:45,982 --> 00:00:48,380
We're like the chess club,

14
00:00:48,540 --> 00:00:50,403
but better looking and...

15
00:00:50,563 --> 00:00:52,880
dumber.

16
00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:56,524
Hey.

17
00:00:56,684 --> 00:00:58,048
Hey.
Um,

18
00:00:58,208 --> 00:01:00,932
so was there somethin' you wanted to say to me
the other day at the record store?

19
00:01:01,915 --> 00:01:05,505
Oh, yeah.
I wanted to talk to you about...

20
00:01:06,420 --> 00:01:08,818
Abba.

21
00:01:09,587 --> 00:01:11,783
Abba?

22
00:01:11,942 --> 00:01:14,260
No, you said you wanted
to talk about us.

23
00:01:14,876 --> 00:01:16,075
Right.

24
00:01:16,235 --> 00:01:18,793
Our feelings
about abba.

25
00:01:20,657 --> 00:01:21,715
You know what?

26
00:01:21,874 --> 00:01:24,669
Good. Great. Believe me, I don't
wanna talk about us, either.

27
00:01:25,103 --> 00:01:27,611
Come on, angie. We were supposed
to open the record store,

28
00:01:27,771 --> 00:01:30,105
oh, about seven hours ago.

29
00:01:32,682 --> 00:01:36,114
You told me you wanted to tell hyde
that you still love him and you wanted him back.

30
00:01:36,274 --> 00:01:38,489
Yeah, well, it's obvious
he doesn't want me back.

31
00:01:38,649 --> 00:01:41,138
So you better not tell him what
I said, or I'll be humiliated.

32
00:01:42,182 --> 00:01:44,580
My lips are a seal's.

33
00:01:46,769 --> 00:01:49,935
Don't you mean
that your lips are sealed?

34
00:01:50,921 --> 00:01:53,319
I'm not hearing
the difference.

35
00:01:54,288 --> 00:01:57,392
Great. Anyways, you guys,
I have huge news.

36
00:01:57,698 --> 00:02:00,638
You know how point place cable
has that public access channel?

37
00:02:00,798 --> 00:02:04,289
Yeah! Donna, didn't your dad do, like,
a belly dancing show there?

38
00:02:07,890 --> 00:02:10,288
He guest-hosted.
Shut up.

39
00:02:11,169 --> 00:02:12,016
Anyways,

40
00:02:12,176 --> 00:02:13,822
I'm gonna have
my own show!

41
00:02:13,982 --> 00:02:15,618
Just like mary tyler moore.

42
00:02:15,778 --> 00:02:19,721
Oh, except I won't stop for commercials 'cause
no one really wants to take a break from me.

43
00:02:21,245 --> 00:02:24,412
I don't know. That week you were
in florida— that was a nice, quiet week.

44
00:02:32,978 --> 00:02:35,376
Have you been
in bed all day?

45
00:02:35,804 --> 00:02:38,202
Yeah, I have.

46
00:02:38,726 --> 00:02:42,141
I've been reading the jack kerouac
classic "on the road."

47
00:02:42,670 --> 00:02:44,337
See, as I see it,

48
00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:46,578
why get out of bed

49
00:02:46,738 --> 00:02:49,297
when you can read about people
who got outta bed?

50
00:02:51,455 --> 00:02:55,548
You have got to be the laziest
non-communist I've ever met.

51
00:02:57,284 --> 00:03:01,448
And you are about to read
a book that my foot wrote.

52
00:03:02,198 --> 00:03:04,904
It's called
"on the road to in your ass."

53
00:03:07,403 --> 00:03:09,657
Okay, now, red, please, let's

54
00:03:09,816 --> 00:03:12,456
hold off on the cursing
until happy hour.

55
00:03:14,391 --> 00:03:16,868
This year-off crap
better come to an end

56
00:03:17,028 --> 00:03:18,649
or I'm gonna put
you in a box

57
00:03:18,808 --> 00:03:21,126
and mail ya to
the marines.

58
00:03:22,095 --> 00:03:23,552
Oh, don't worry, honey.

59
00:03:23,712 --> 00:03:26,365
Your father's too cheap
to mail something that heavy.

60
00:03:27,980 --> 00:03:30,699
He just wants you to have
some direction, and so do I.

61
00:03:30,858 --> 00:03:35,100
And you are in luck because
I got the new issue of "cosmo."

62
00:03:35,954 --> 00:03:39,824
Oh. Well, I'm just not sure I need
seven new ways to please my man.

63
00:03:45,500 --> 00:03:46,593
No.

64
00:03:46,752 --> 00:03:47,754
No.
Honey,

65
00:03:47,914 --> 00:03:50,661
it's a job aptitude test.
Okay,

66
00:03:50,837 --> 00:03:52,915
question number one—

67
00:03:53,075 --> 00:03:55,393
"do you consider
yourself creative?"

68
00:03:56,431 --> 00:03:58,333
Well—
- yes!

69
00:03:58,493 --> 00:04:01,122
You were a little
wiz at macaroni art.

70
00:04:02,225 --> 00:04:05,439
"Do you prefer to work
alone or with others?"

71
00:04:06,124 --> 00:04:07,182
Alone.
- Nope.

72
00:04:07,342 --> 00:04:09,654
You love people.

73
00:04:09,813 --> 00:04:12,164
Okay, question three —
"do you..."

74
00:04:12,324 --> 00:04:14,680
well, that's easy.

75
00:04:15,245 --> 00:04:17,963
Look, mom, I'm happy
just enjoying my world.

76
00:04:18,123 --> 00:04:22,248
I'm like an explorer I'm exactly
like christopher columbus,

77
00:04:22,624 --> 00:04:23,894
except, you know,
I've

78
00:04:24,054 --> 00:04:26,683
I've been incredibly
distracted by television.

79
00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:31,026
Okay! All done.

80
00:04:31,186 --> 00:04:33,971
Now, according
to your answers...

81
00:04:37,032 --> 00:04:39,430
you should be a nurse!

82
00:04:42,998 --> 00:04:46,197
That 70's Show - Saison 7 Episode 16
"On with The Show"

83
00:04:46,357 --> 00:04:49,533
Traduction par Guzo

84
00:04:49,692 --> 00:04:52,908
Merci à Raceman

85
00:04:53,068 --> 00:04:55,793
www.forom.com

86
00:05:18,261 --> 00:05:20,433
okay, fez, since you're
helping me with set dressing,

87
00:05:20,593 --> 00:05:23,222
I want the set to reflect
my sparkling personality.

88
00:05:23,382 --> 00:05:25,111
I want it to say
"jackie."

89
00:05:25,271 --> 00:05:27,510
Okay, let me see. Maybe some
glitter, a disco ball...

90
00:05:27,669 --> 00:05:30,358
uh-huh. I want a big sign
that says "jackie."

91
00:05:33,314 --> 00:05:35,169
I hate this room.

92
00:05:35,329 --> 00:05:38,546
It reminds me of my dad dancing around
half-naked with finger cymbals.

93
00:05:40,854 --> 00:05:43,479
Well, my show is
gonna be a news show

94
00:05:43,638 --> 00:05:45,973
all-nude or just topless?

95
00:05:48,373 --> 00:05:50,439
Not nude— news!

96
00:05:50,598 --> 00:05:52,916
I'm not hearing the difference.

97
00:05:53,709 --> 00:05:56,908
Jackie, how are you gonna tell people
the news if you don't know any news?

98
00:05:57,068 --> 00:06:00,067
I know all the news that's really
important, like

99
00:06:00,227 --> 00:06:03,674
who's got a new car, what store is
having a sale on leggings

100
00:06:03,834 --> 00:06:05,064
and, uh,

101
00:06:05,224 --> 00:06:07,689
and if there'll ever
be peace in the middle-east.

102
00:06:09,894 --> 00:06:12,411
who am I kidding?
No one cares about China.

103
00:06:19,763 --> 00:06:21,571
Hey, Eric, can I have
some of your fries?

104
00:06:21,731 --> 00:06:22,323
Sure.

105
00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:24,800
Well, I don't
want any. Burn!

106
00:06:27,435 --> 00:06:31,025
I think you're confusing
a burn with just talking.

107
00:06:35,119 --> 00:06:36,471
Eric, can I have some fries?

108
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:38,948
yeah, help yourself.

109
00:06:40,923 --> 00:06:43,321
Burn!

110
00:06:45,275 --> 00:06:49,565
Yeah, um, I knew you were gonna
do that so I spit in 'em. Burn!

111
00:06:54,494 --> 00:06:55,481
Totally.

112
00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:56,924
Hey, hey, hey, hey!

113
00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:59,420
You ate his spit!
Burn!

114
00:07:04,347 --> 00:07:07,708
Uh, that's a piggyback burn.
We don't do that.

115
00:07:09,550 --> 00:07:10,468
Come on Angie.

116
00:07:10,627 --> 00:07:12,485
You've gotta do inventory
in the store room

117
00:07:12,644 --> 00:07:14,962
and I gotta go
sleep behind a box.

118
00:07:15,711 --> 00:07:17,883
Man, you want to, uh,
catch a movie or something?

119
00:07:18,043 --> 00:07:20,318
Nah. I gotta go down
to the police academy.

120
00:07:20,478 --> 00:07:22,447
They're gonna teach me
what prisoners feel like.

121
00:07:22,606 --> 00:07:25,904
Guys are gonna handcuff me
to a flagpole for a few hours.

122
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:30,442
It's not in the curriculum,
but they say it's required.

123
00:07:37,363 --> 00:07:39,129
Hey, uh...

124
00:07:39,289 --> 00:07:41,909
I'm sorry, are you reading
the new "mighty spectaculus"?

125
00:07:42,069 --> 00:07:44,126
Yeah. You a fan?

126
00:07:44,286 --> 00:07:47,029
When trouble arrives
by car or bus, we summon...

127
00:07:47,189 --> 00:07:50,550
The mighty spectaculus!
- The mighty spectaculus!

128
00:07:53,190 --> 00:07:55,268
They call me
eric forman.

129
00:07:55,428 --> 00:07:57,745
Stew bailey.
No relation to beetle.

130
00:07:59,723 --> 00:08:01,125
Hey, Stew, I mean,
if you're interested,

131
00:08:01,285 --> 00:08:04,860
they're havin'a spectaculus spectacular
down at the atomic comic book nook.

132
00:08:06,459 --> 00:08:07,564
You're probably—

133
00:08:07,724 --> 00:08:09,594
You probably have to get
back to work or something.

134
00:08:09,754 --> 00:08:12,019
I don't have to be anywhere.
I don't have a job.

135
00:08:12,179 --> 00:08:13,547
How old are you?

136
00:08:13,707 --> 00:08:16,735
Well, let's just say I'm two years
older than professor Reveng-O.

137
00:08:18,143 --> 00:08:20,540
36.

138
00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:23,942
S-so then, Stew,

139
00:08:24,102 --> 00:08:25,913
what do you do all day?

140
00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:28,391
You're lookin' at it.

141
00:08:29,452 --> 00:08:31,850
Oh, we're gonna
be good friends.

142
00:08:39,479 --> 00:08:40,873
Fez,

143
00:08:41,033 --> 00:08:43,659
jackie's show is about to start.
Aren't you supposed to be helping her?

144
00:08:43,819 --> 00:08:47,706
She asked me to make a giant sign with her
name on it, so I said, "you got it Baby!"

145
00:08:47,866 --> 00:08:50,057
so then I went
to get some ice cream

146
00:08:50,217 --> 00:08:52,984
and then I went to play
some space invaders

147
00:08:53,144 --> 00:08:55,567
and, um, and then I came
here to watch the show.

148
00:08:58,500 --> 00:09:01,968
I could never be on tv,
unless it was johnny carson

149
00:09:02,128 --> 00:09:06,884
Because I have a very funny story about
a cheeto that looked just like Jesus.

150
00:09:15,181 --> 00:09:17,525
So, Fez...

151
00:09:17,685 --> 00:09:20,030
you've been hanging out
a lot lately with jackie.

152
00:09:20,295 --> 00:09:23,669
Any idea what she wanted to talk to me about
at the record store the other day?

153
00:09:23,845 --> 00:09:27,493
Um, I don't know. I was there.
I mean, I-I wasn't there. I, uh...

154
00:09:29,604 --> 00:09:32,002
I was, uh, I was away...

155
00:09:34,236 --> 00:09:36,633
on business.

156
00:09:39,891 --> 00:09:44,430
Well, if she wanted to get back together,
that's something I wouldn't mind knowing.

157
00:09:44,594 --> 00:09:47,164
So why don't you just go
ahead and spill the beans?

158
00:09:48,406 --> 00:09:50,705
Beans?

159
00:09:50,865 --> 00:09:52,875
What beans?

160
00:09:53,035 --> 00:09:55,638
The only beans
are in your head,

161
00:09:55,798 --> 00:09:58,133
You little bean-head!

162
00:10:02,341 --> 00:10:04,663
Anyway..

163
00:10:04,823 --> 00:10:09,027
I opened the bag, and there he was—
the beard and everything.

164
00:10:11,484 --> 00:10:12,847
Oh, Oh!

165
00:10:13,007 --> 00:10:14,923
Jackie's about to start.

166
00:10:15,083 --> 00:10:16,601
Okay, jackie,
are you ready?

167
00:10:16,761 --> 00:10:19,182
Yeah, of course. I've got
this thing's down path.

168
00:10:19,341 --> 00:10:21,478
Okay, so after
the weather report,

169
00:10:21,638 --> 00:10:23,789
I'm gonna get into the problem
with the spirit squad.

170
00:10:23,949 --> 00:10:25,232
They're all fat.

171
00:10:25,391 --> 00:10:27,798
That's my commentary.
I'm anti-fat.

172
00:10:28,455 --> 00:10:29,323
Okay.

173
00:10:29,483 --> 00:10:32,335
Ten seconds until you're on the air,
offending thousands of people.

174
00:10:34,905 --> 00:10:36,372
Thousands of people?

175
00:10:36,532 --> 00:10:39,227
In 5... 4... 3...

176
00:10:45,513 --> 00:10:47,252
You didn't say 2 or 1.

177
00:10:47,411 --> 00:10:49,682
It's because you're on now!

178
00:10:49,842 --> 00:10:52,192
Well, but I'm not...

179
00:10:53,252 --> 00:10:55,649
hi.

180
00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:58,111
I'm Backie Jurkhart.

181
00:10:58,270 --> 00:10:59,351
Jackie burkhart!

182
00:10:59,511 --> 00:11:00,630
What?
- It's your name!

183
00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:02,612
I know what my name
- you said backie jurkhart.

184
00:11:02,772 --> 00:11:05,090
Okay, stop talking
or you're fired!

185
00:11:05,470 --> 00:11:06,892
Fine.

186
00:11:07,052 --> 00:11:08,933
You're on your own.

187
00:11:09,093 --> 00:11:11,410
I'm what?

188
00:11:13,248 --> 00:11:15,645
Oh dear...

189
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:18,272
she's not so good.

190
00:11:19,499 --> 00:11:21,897
She's sweatin'
like muhammed Ali

191
00:11:26,222 --> 00:11:28,619
cut to her boobs.

192
00:11:29,377 --> 00:11:31,775
Oh, who's directing
this thing?

193
00:11:43,304 --> 00:11:46,425
well, guess we can't just sit and talk
about comic books all day.

194
00:11:47,402 --> 00:11:49,800
Let's do some'star wars" trivia. Go.

195
00:11:50,358 --> 00:11:51,462
Oh, I got a stumper.

196
00:11:51,622 --> 00:11:53,762
Who is luke and
obi-wan's nemesis at—

197
00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:56,239
doctor Evazan.

198
00:11:57,405 --> 00:11:59,707
Man, you're good.

199
00:11:59,867 --> 00:12:02,077
look, let me ask you a question.

200
00:12:02,236 --> 00:12:03,634
Some people think that

201
00:12:03,794 --> 00:12:07,081
if I keep living, you know,
"without a purpose"

202
00:12:07,286 --> 00:12:09,247
that I'll be all,

203
00:12:09,407 --> 00:12:11,725
I don't know,
unfulfilled and stuff.

204
00:12:13,256 --> 00:12:15,654
Do you ever
feel unfulfilled?

205
00:12:16,846 --> 00:12:19,638
I've seen "star wars"
in seven different states.

206
00:12:20,658 --> 00:12:23,720
I even met the midget
that they stuck inside r2-d2.

207
00:12:25,110 --> 00:12:27,507
What could be more
fulfilling than that?

208
00:12:28,958 --> 00:12:31,355
I don't know.

209
00:12:32,263 --> 00:12:33,579
Hey, dorks.

210
00:12:33,739 --> 00:12:36,560
Listen, uh, angie had
a really rough day at work,

211
00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:41,250
so I'm gonna rub her feet and you might wanna
clear out before I start rubbin' other stuff.

212
00:12:42,329 --> 00:12:44,727
Eric, come over later.
We'll game.

213
00:12:44,900 --> 00:12:46,379
Who was that guy?

214
00:12:46,539 --> 00:12:47,329
That's this guy St—

215
00:12:47,489 --> 00:12:49,807
I don't care! Burn!

216
00:12:56,254 --> 00:13:00,994
Angie, you're cute as a button,
but you burn like a botard.

217
00:13:03,868 --> 00:13:08,484
Look, if you wanna burn someone, you gotta
embarrass them to make other people laugh.

218
00:13:08,644 --> 00:13:13,062
You want to combine the elements
of humiliation and surprise.

219
00:13:15,265 --> 00:13:17,663
Dude, what the hell?

220
00:13:19,218 --> 00:13:21,616
Burn!

221
00:13:24,977 --> 00:13:26,221
Oh, hey.

222
00:13:26,381 --> 00:13:28,263
Jackie, uh,
I saw your show.

223
00:13:28,423 --> 00:13:30,971
It isn't as good
as a lot of other shows.

224
00:13:33,457 --> 00:13:35,204
No.

225
00:13:35,364 --> 00:13:38,522
It was great for people who think
regular tv is too entertaining.

226
00:13:41,419 --> 00:13:43,134
I freaked out.

227
00:13:43,294 --> 00:13:46,706
I mean, the cameras turned on
and I realized I'm completely alone.

228
00:13:47,562 --> 00:13:50,389
I'm alone on tv
and I'm alone in real life.

229
00:13:52,348 --> 00:13:54,746
I don't know
what I'm gonna do.

230
00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:03,111
Burn!

231
00:14:04,643 --> 00:14:07,041
Oh, my god!

232
00:14:09,859 --> 00:14:11,715
Uh...

233
00:14:11,875 --> 00:14:16,392
uh, I forgot to tell you the part about you
don't burn someone who's already crying.

234
00:14:22,648 --> 00:14:23,717
Okay,

235
00:14:23,877 --> 00:14:26,460
best side kick—
Robin or Aqualad?

236
00:14:26,845 --> 00:14:28,056
Ooh.

237
00:14:28,215 --> 00:14:31,070
Uh, toughie. Is the villain
they're fighting terrestrial

238
00:14:31,230 --> 00:14:33,263
or Aquatic?

239
00:14:33,423 --> 00:14:37,308
Stewie, you didn't tell me
you were having a friend over.

240
00:14:38,654 --> 00:14:41,051
Eric, this is my mom.

241
00:14:46,948 --> 00:14:49,345
Y-you still live
with your mom?

242
00:14:49,617 --> 00:14:51,402
Oh, she's more
than just my mother.

243
00:14:51,562 --> 00:14:53,880
She's my best friend.

244
00:14:55,623 --> 00:14:58,021
She's your best friend?

245
00:14:59,521 --> 00:15:00,356
Well,

246
00:15:00,516 --> 00:15:02,834
you're givin' her
a run for her money.

247
00:15:05,057 --> 00:15:06,115
Okay, I gotta go.

248
00:15:06,275 --> 00:15:07,814
Are you sure?

249
00:15:07,974 --> 00:15:12,515
I was about to make sandwiches
in the shape of x-wing fighters.

250
00:15:13,712 --> 00:15:14,688
Uh,

251
00:15:14,848 --> 00:15:17,279
no, really. Well—
no, I gotta go.

252
00:15:25,541 --> 00:15:26,822
What are you doin'?

253
00:15:26,982 --> 00:15:29,299
I'm throwin' out
all my comic books.

254
00:15:33,318 --> 00:15:35,716
I saw my future today and...

255
00:15:35,967 --> 00:15:38,364
well, it's living
with its mother.

256
00:15:43,380 --> 00:15:46,058
Yeah, well, I saw my future
and it sweats.

257
00:15:48,205 --> 00:15:49,744
Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on.

258
00:15:49,904 --> 00:15:52,221
You sweat?

259
00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:54,751
Uh, would you happen to
have a picture, some

260
00:15:54,911 --> 00:15:57,228
tape of this that
I could laugh at?

261
00:15:58,267 --> 00:16:00,612
Eric, I tried to have
my own tv show,

262
00:16:00,772 --> 00:16:02,035
and I failed.

263
00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:05,141
My life is over. I'm not
good enough to be on tv.

264
00:16:05,611 --> 00:16:08,008
No, jackie...

265
00:16:09,728 --> 00:16:11,033
okay, come on.

266
00:16:11,193 --> 00:16:12,700
You're good-looking,

267
00:16:12,860 --> 00:16:16,333
you're incredibly superficial
and you lie constantly.

268
00:16:18,609 --> 00:16:21,006
I think you're
perfect for tv.

269
00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:25,101
Do you really think so?

270
00:16:25,261 --> 00:16:26,802
Yeah.

271
00:16:26,961 --> 00:16:28,667
I mean...

272
00:16:28,827 --> 00:16:31,257
jeez, look, at least you're
doing something with your life.

273
00:16:32,518 --> 00:16:34,455
I have wasted
an entire year.

274
00:16:34,615 --> 00:16:36,238
Eric, let me stop
you right there,

275
00:16:36,398 --> 00:16:39,942
okay? Since you were kind enough to
cheer me up when my spirits were low,

276
00:16:40,459 --> 00:16:42,857
I'm gonna go.
Thanks!

277
00:16:52,603 --> 00:16:54,834
Hey, forman, let me
ask you a question.

278
00:16:54,993 --> 00:16:57,299
What do you think
about me and jackie?

279
00:16:57,459 --> 00:16:59,725
Well, man, you
know what I think.

280
00:16:59,885 --> 00:17:02,202
I think that jackie
is evil incarnate.

281
00:17:03,239 --> 00:17:06,262
I think that if you were to cut
off one of her hands, it would

282
00:17:06,422 --> 00:17:08,757
probably grow back
into another jackie.

283
00:17:11,011 --> 00:17:13,409
Look, before jackie,

284
00:17:13,662 --> 00:17:16,477
you were just some
pissed-off guy in my basement.

285
00:17:17,966 --> 00:17:20,364
But with her...

286
00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:23,419
I mean, you seemed
happy, man.

287
00:17:23,579 --> 00:17:25,896
Hey, I was never happy.

288
00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:29,298
I was just less pissed off.

289
00:17:30,184 --> 00:17:32,582
Hyde...

290
00:17:33,350 --> 00:17:36,776
I lied to you when I told you
that I was away on business.

291
00:17:40,974 --> 00:17:43,372
No.

292
00:17:46,018 --> 00:17:48,416
yes.

293
00:17:49,408 --> 00:17:51,806
And I know what jackie
wanted to tell you.

294
00:17:52,286 --> 00:17:54,482
She still loves you.

295
00:17:54,642 --> 00:17:55,502
What?

296
00:17:55,662 --> 00:17:58,310
Yeah. She said she was wrong
and that she wanted you back.

297
00:17:58,580 --> 00:18:00,717
She was vulnerable,

298
00:18:00,876 --> 00:18:03,194
so I tried
to french her.

299
00:18:05,454 --> 00:18:07,851
But no-go.

300
00:18:13,219 --> 00:18:14,439
Shouldn't jackie
be here by now?

301
00:18:14,599 --> 00:18:16,993
Yeah. She's supposed to
go on in, like, a minute.

302
00:18:17,275 --> 00:18:19,342
I don't think
she's gonna show up.

303
00:18:19,502 --> 00:18:21,820
What?

304
00:18:22,683 --> 00:18:26,095
No! But we were gonna do
this whole segment on sluts.

305
00:18:27,551 --> 00:18:29,222
And I was gonna be
the slut expert.

306
00:18:29,382 --> 00:18:31,738
That's the only kind of expert
I'm ever gonna be!

307
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:36,177
Hey. Jackie, I can't believe
you showed up.

308
00:18:36,875 --> 00:18:38,600
I can't believe I showed up.

309
00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:41,059
What am I doing with my life?

310
00:18:41,219 --> 00:18:43,350
Okay, come on, people.
We got a show to do.

311
00:18:43,510 --> 00:18:45,827
okay.
In 3...

312
00:18:48,721 --> 00:18:49,521
hi,

313
00:18:49,681 --> 00:18:52,881
I'm jackie burkhart, and here's
all the news you need to know.

314
00:18:53,041 --> 00:18:54,987
This just in—
slacks are out.

315
00:18:55,147 --> 00:18:57,893
So, ladies, shave those
legs and put on a skirt!

316
00:19:00,028 --> 00:19:01,133
Up next,

317
00:19:01,293 --> 00:19:05,630
senior correspondent michael kelso joins me
for a very exciting segment I like to call

318
00:19:05,789 --> 00:19:06,876
"slut

319
00:19:07,036 --> 00:19:08,355
or not."

320
00:19:08,515 --> 00:19:11,064
Michael, welcome.
- Hi, jackie.

321
00:19:11,224 --> 00:19:13,175
Ladies.

322
00:19:13,335 --> 00:19:15,653
Okay,
let's get started.

323
00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:18,402
Marcy cavanaugh.

324
00:19:18,562 --> 00:19:20,879
Slut.

325
00:19:21,168 --> 00:19:23,364
Susie rice.

326
00:19:23,524 --> 00:19:25,841
Slut.

327
00:19:26,221 --> 00:19:28,619
Hey, could you
zoom out a sec?

328
00:19:29,822 --> 00:19:31,995
Ooh, jenny keene.

329
00:19:32,155 --> 00:19:35,582
Partly slutty with a chance
of severe sluttiness.

330
00:19:39,875 --> 00:19:41,673
Angie, what the hell?

331
00:19:41,832 --> 00:19:44,150
Burn?

332
00:19:45,001 --> 00:19:47,399
Burn!

333
00:19:48,485 --> 00:19:49,988
Well,

334
00:19:50,148 --> 00:19:53,285
there you have it, america—
your first televised burn.

335
00:19:53,445 --> 00:19:56,550
Up next,a hard-hitting segment
called "girls with moustaches."

336
00:19:56,710 --> 00:19:59,044
Don't touch that dial,
sherry papadakis!

337
00:20:07,586 --> 00:20:08,715
Hey, man,
is jackie around?

338
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:09,981
Hey.

339
00:20:10,141 --> 00:20:12,459
Yeah, but I thought
you weren't talking to her.

340
00:20:14,237 --> 00:20:16,635
you're gonna make up
with her, aren't you?

341
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:21,098
Oh, you're gonna tell
her that you love her!

342
00:20:22,225 --> 00:20:25,545
And your little sunglasses
are gonna get all fogged up.

343
00:20:27,163 --> 00:20:29,561
Jackie, there's someone
here to see you.

344
00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:31,998
Hey.

345
00:20:32,158 --> 00:20:34,476
Uh, I thought maybe
we would talk for a minute.

346
00:20:34,641 --> 00:20:36,344
Is it about my show?

347
00:20:36,504 --> 00:20:38,783
'Cause it was awesome!
Steven,

348
00:20:38,943 --> 00:20:41,895
I went on and I did great,
and I did it on my own!

349
00:20:42,055 --> 00:20:45,269
I mean, I've never been more
proud of myself in my entire life.

350
00:20:45,460 --> 00:20:47,857
I'm gonna do
great on my own.

351
00:20:48,216 --> 00:20:50,614
I'm sorry. What did you want
to talk to me about?

352
00:20:51,899 --> 00:20:52,641
Well,

353
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:55,118
um...

354
00:20:57,258 --> 00:20:59,814
I just wanted to say
congratulations on your show.

355
00:21:01,269 --> 00:21:03,164
Thank you.
- Yeah.

356
00:21:03,324 --> 00:21:05,642
Did you see michael
with his pants down?

357
00:21:09,683 --> 00:21:12,081
No.

358
00:21:12,276 --> 00:21:14,673
But I don't need
a tv to see that.

359
00:21:15,629 --> 00:21:17,726
Bye.

360
00:21:21,623 --> 00:21:23,009
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen,

361
00:21:23,169 --> 00:21:27,077
and welcome to the full
half-hour of "slut or not."

362
00:21:27,335 --> 00:21:30,768
I've got a phone book here and a wealth
of experience with fooling around,

363
00:21:30,928 --> 00:21:32,732
so let's get started.

364
00:21:32,892 --> 00:21:34,254
"Beverly addison."

365
00:21:34,414 --> 00:21:37,492
I don't know her personally,
but I've heard she has a tattoo.

366
00:21:37,651 --> 00:21:39,720
So congratulations,
beverly addison.

367
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:42,198
You are a slut.

368
00:21:42,826 --> 00:21:45,525
What the hell
happened to this country?

369
00:21:47,526 --> 00:21:51,115
I know beverly addison, and
I'm glad somebody finally said it.