1 00:00:04,212 --> 00:00:05,721 Hey, Red, I've got a question for you. 2 00:00:06,482 --> 00:00:08,715 My wife says she doesn't want anything for Valentine's day. 3 00:00:08,890 --> 00:00:10,038 So I'm off the hook, right? 4 00:00:13,183 --> 00:00:14,431 Let me tell you a little story. 5 00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:18,947 There was a woman, a newly-wed. 6 00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:21,196 And she told her husband, 7 00:00:21,608 --> 00:00:23,753 rather then waste money on gifts, 8 00:00:23,903 --> 00:00:25,525 save for retirement. 9 00:00:26,286 --> 00:00:27,708 And so he never bought her a gift. 10 00:00:28,345 --> 00:00:30,528 Not for Christmas, birthdays... never. 11 00:00:31,451 --> 00:00:32,802 And 50 years later, 12 00:00:33,476 --> 00:00:34,537 she thanked him. 13 00:00:35,585 --> 00:00:37,181 And you know who that woman was? 14 00:00:38,029 --> 00:00:38,491 No. 15 00:00:38,878 --> 00:00:39,726 That woman ... 16 00:00:40,175 --> 00:00:44,182 was the invisible dancing fairy of dumb-ass land! 17 00:00:47,476 --> 00:00:49,459 All women want gifts. 18 00:00:51,171 --> 00:00:52,181 Well ... 19 00:00:52,842 --> 00:00:54,663 what do you get a stripper anyway? 20 00:00:56,298 --> 00:00:59,268 Oh, how about a robe and a father who gave a damn? 21 00:01:01,279 --> 00:01:03,325 Mrs. Forman, life's a trade off. 22 00:01:03,463 --> 00:01:06,955 If her father gave a damn, I wouldn't have this smile on my face. 23 00:01:08,578 --> 00:01:09,588 Well Steven, 24 00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:12,785 it is important to keep romance alive once you're married. 25 00:01:13,372 --> 00:01:16,441 That's why I bought a present for Red and I'm sure he has one for me. 26 00:01:16,442 --> 00:01:19,535 Because he loves me and he knows what I'm capable of. 27 00:01:21,683 --> 00:01:24,316 That's right honey! Wait till you see what I got you! 28 00:01:29,721 --> 00:01:31,817 You romantic little devil you! 29 00:01:32,104 --> 00:01:33,089 Not hardly. 30 00:01:33,501 --> 00:01:34,487 Follow me rookie. 31 00:01:37,643 --> 00:01:40,588 Ever since I forgot Kitty's birthday that one year, 32 00:01:40,889 --> 00:01:43,047 I keep a stash of gifts down here. 33 00:01:44,407 --> 00:01:47,663 That way, even if I forget, I remember. 34 00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:51,109 Go ahead, I'll spot you one. 35 00:01:53,230 --> 00:01:53,804 Oh hey, 36 00:01:54,739 --> 00:01:56,673 these woolen mittens'd be perfect for Sam. 37 00:01:57,273 --> 00:01:58,271 If only they were black, 38 00:01:59,546 --> 00:02:00,755 leather and a bra. 39 00:02:03,463 --> 00:02:04,374 So what are you giving Kitty? 40 00:02:04,461 --> 00:02:05,596 Ahh this needlepoint. 41 00:02:06,944 --> 00:02:08,529 She'll like it because it's fun 42 00:02:08,852 --> 00:02:12,724 and I'll like it because it'll keep her occupied for gigantic chunks of time. 43 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:18,974 Jackie dear, uhh, 44 00:02:19,161 --> 00:02:23,379 thank you for booking that lovely couple on our Fools For Love piece. 45 00:02:24,542 --> 00:02:26,151 That guy was so cute. 46 00:02:26,414 --> 00:02:30,842 You know he said no matter where he went. He always heard his wife's voice saying "I love you". 47 00:02:31,713 --> 00:02:36,632 Well apparently another voice in his head told him to push her off a Ferris wheel. 48 00:02:38,274 --> 00:02:39,184 Oh my God! 49 00:02:39,925 --> 00:02:41,267 Oh no no no no no, that's horrible! 50 00:02:41,313 --> 00:02:42,785 It's a tragedy! 51 00:02:43,086 --> 00:02:45,291 We don't have a couple for today's show. 52 00:02:46,435 --> 00:02:50,328 You've got three hours to find another one or you're fired. 53 00:02:52,448 --> 00:02:54,512 Oh I'm just kidding ... 54 00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:57,653 No I'm not. 55 00:03:00,453 --> 00:03:02,882 Seriously Jackie, just kidding about firing you. 56 00:03:09,642 --> 00:03:11,256 Christine St. George's office. 57 00:03:11,322 --> 00:03:12,963 I wasn't kidding. 58 00:03:16,472 --> 00:03:18,414 Psssst Jackie! Come here! 59 00:03:19,061 --> 00:03:20,869 Ohhhh. What do you want? 60 00:03:20,944 --> 00:03:22,951 I wanted to say: don't worry. 61 00:03:22,952 --> 00:03:25,578 It'll all work out between you and Christine. 62 00:03:28,178 --> 00:03:29,257 Well thanks. 63 00:03:33,937 --> 00:03:35,400 Christine St. George's office. 64 00:03:35,401 --> 00:03:37,078 You're gonna get fired! 65 00:03:37,079 --> 00:03:39,048 You're gonna get fired! 66 00:03:41,397 --> 00:03:44,391 That '70s Show Episode 8x12 - Killer Queen 67 00:03:45,390 --> 00:03:47,386 twiztv 68 00:03:48,384 --> 00:03:50,381 Jarick 69 00:04:23,723 --> 00:04:24,765 Hey, Record Guy... 70 00:04:26,294 --> 00:04:27,550 Mr. Record... 71 00:04:28,859 --> 00:04:30,481 Mr. Record Breaker... 72 00:04:32,405 --> 00:04:35,106 Captain Record of the U.S.S. Phonograph. 73 00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,764 Donna, Hyde's already given me a nickname. 74 00:04:38,935 --> 00:04:40,482 It's Mrs. Lady-Lovely-Locks. 75 00:04:44,414 --> 00:04:45,220 Okay. 76 00:04:45,961 --> 00:04:47,658 Mrs. Locks. Uhm... 77 00:04:48,650 --> 00:04:50,582 I was wondering if maybe you'd like to... 78 00:04:50,620 --> 00:04:51,755 I don't know, like ... 79 00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:54,832 do something with me tonight for good old VD? 80 00:04:55,460 --> 00:04:56,511 Valentine's Day! 81 00:05:01,070 --> 00:05:02,233 Not VD! 82 00:05:03,696 --> 00:05:05,216 I am clean as a whistle! 83 00:05:07,486 --> 00:05:08,452 Man it's uh, 84 00:05:09,166 --> 00:05:10,403 it's really nice of you to ask but 85 00:05:10,404 --> 00:05:11,961 I've already got plans with someone else. 86 00:05:12,008 --> 00:05:13,021 Maybe a rain check. 87 00:05:13,564 --> 00:05:15,376 Sure. I love rain checks. 88 00:05:16,332 --> 00:05:18,321 In fact, I love checking for rain. 89 00:05:19,774 --> 00:05:21,125 I'm gonna go check for rain right now. 90 00:05:24,742 --> 00:05:26,631 That's the office, here's no rain in there. 91 00:05:30,309 --> 00:05:31,669 Clear out here too! 92 00:05:37,870 --> 00:05:39,278 Oh. Fez! 93 00:05:39,371 --> 00:05:42,401 I have to find a happy couple for Christine to interview today or I'm fired. 94 00:05:42,786 --> 00:05:43,996 What about Red and Ms. Kitty? 95 00:05:45,986 --> 00:05:49,973 Ugggg, I might as well book that painting of the old lady and the geezer with the pitchfork. 96 00:05:50,893 --> 00:05:54,148 Ah I see where you're going with this Jackie, and don't worry, 97 00:05:54,457 --> 00:05:57,150 if it will save your job, I will pretend to be your boyfriend. 98 00:05:58,716 --> 00:05:59,833 We should probably practice. 99 00:06:00,036 --> 00:06:01,828 Oh! Get off me! 100 00:06:01,856 --> 00:06:02,832 I was trying to help! 101 00:06:02,850 --> 00:06:04,314 You were trying to cop a feel! 102 00:06:04,369 --> 00:06:05,768 You didn't let me finish. 103 00:06:06,218 --> 00:06:09,529 I was trying to help ... myself to a handful of your boob. 104 00:06:13,352 --> 00:06:14,169 But I would like to help. 105 00:06:14,722 --> 00:06:17,695 No, Fez. If Christine finds out we're faking it, I'm fired. 106 00:06:18,052 --> 00:06:19,215 I can see all that, baby. 107 00:06:19,834 --> 00:06:20,460 Besides, 108 00:06:21,268 --> 00:06:22,899 interracial couples are sexy. 109 00:06:24,963 --> 00:06:25,939 Because it's illegal. 110 00:06:28,675 --> 00:06:32,306 Fez, it's not illegal for people of two different races to date. 111 00:06:32,765 --> 00:06:33,254 It's not? 112 00:06:36,237 --> 00:06:37,231 Freaking Hyde! 113 00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:41,218 Hey. 114 00:06:41,236 --> 00:06:41,648 Hey. 115 00:06:44,566 --> 00:06:48,098 Look, I just wanna make sure you didn't get the wrong idea when I asked you out, 116 00:06:48,099 --> 00:06:51,063 because I was asking you out as like... as friends. 117 00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:53,302 Well, I'm glad you consider me a friend, 118 00:06:53,303 --> 00:06:55,919 cause when I said I had plans earlier, actually I have a date. 119 00:06:57,420 --> 00:06:59,906 And I was thinking maybe you could help me out and give me some advice. 120 00:06:59,962 --> 00:07:01,519 You know, from the female perspective. 121 00:07:02,030 --> 00:07:04,995 I'd ask my cousin but she's kinda into me, it's weird. 122 00:07:06,401 --> 00:07:08,399 Sure, yeah. I mean what do you have planned? 123 00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:13,241 I was thinking ... we start sweet, with... strawberry wine. 124 00:07:13,738 --> 00:07:18,081 Then, we get a tad naughty with Dirty Word Mad Libs. 125 00:07:19,076 --> 00:07:21,134 And then, hold on ... what's this? 126 00:07:21,377 --> 00:07:24,736 Tickets to the Monster Truck Mud Mayhem! 127 00:07:26,555 --> 00:07:28,629 Wow Randy, that sounds like a great idea. 128 00:07:29,463 --> 00:07:31,948 If you're dating Granny from the Beverly Hill Billies. 129 00:07:33,579 --> 00:07:38,344 It's just.. there is something I don't like about the usual roses, fancy dinner and theater tickets. 130 00:07:38,774 --> 00:07:39,308 It's so ... 131 00:07:40,415 --> 00:07:41,110 expensive. 132 00:07:43,586 --> 00:07:44,430 Hey Leo, 133 00:07:45,359 --> 00:07:46,884 what is you idea of a romantic date? 134 00:07:48,375 --> 00:07:49,708 November 13th. 135 00:07:52,775 --> 00:07:55,725 But this year is ruined, man. I gotta go to the dentist. 136 00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:06,372 Well I hope you two lovebirds are ready to tell us all about your relationship. 137 00:08:06,373 --> 00:08:07,395 We sure are. 138 00:08:07,460 --> 00:08:09,843 We've been dating so long, we finish each other's... 139 00:08:10,481 --> 00:08:11,447 Sentences. 140 00:08:12,422 --> 00:08:14,467 Well, I was going to say sandwiches but whatever. 141 00:08:15,509 --> 00:08:16,494 Okay, here we go. 142 00:08:20,572 --> 00:08:23,068 What's Up, Wisconsin? 143 00:08:23,790 --> 00:08:26,970 It's time for our annual "Fools For Love" segment 144 00:08:26,971 --> 00:08:28,733 and with me today 145 00:08:28,940 --> 00:08:34,248 is my assistant, Jackie Burkhart and her boyfriend, Fez... 146 00:08:36,135 --> 00:08:38,338 How do you pronounce your last name? 147 00:08:38,648 --> 00:08:41,396 Oh, the first five Ks are silent. 148 00:08:43,554 --> 00:08:45,984 See how they look at each other! 149 00:08:46,115 --> 00:08:50,204 Hm. It's just the way Sonny used to look at me while Cher was in make-up. 150 00:08:52,042 --> 00:08:54,874 So... tell us how you two met. 151 00:08:56,516 --> 00:08:57,397 Well uhm... 152 00:08:57,398 --> 00:08:58,906 I'll take this one baby. 153 00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:00,904 It was the third grade. 154 00:09:01,026 --> 00:09:02,733 Jackie came to school with pink-eye. 155 00:09:03,380 --> 00:09:05,205 All the kids teased her, so ... 156 00:09:05,421 --> 00:09:07,635 I rubbed her eye and infected myself. 157 00:09:08,732 --> 00:09:09,778 So she wouldn't be alone. 158 00:09:10,547 --> 00:09:12,714 I guess you can say it was love at first sight! 159 00:09:14,167 --> 00:09:15,565 Pink sight that is. 160 00:09:17,155 --> 00:09:22,587 Well I'm sure my viewers are dying to know the secret of your happiness. 161 00:09:23,038 --> 00:09:24,051 It's very simple. 162 00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:26,996 We make out every chance we get. 163 00:09:28,694 --> 00:09:29,500 Kiss me baby! 164 00:09:29,501 --> 00:09:31,480 Nooooo! No no baby baby, I ... 165 00:09:31,819 --> 00:09:33,497 I have a cold sore. 166 00:09:34,426 --> 00:09:37,287 Well baby, that wouldn't be the first time I got a disease from you baby. 167 00:09:38,844 --> 00:09:41,611 No no baby, I just... I ate some garlic bread. 168 00:09:41,724 --> 00:09:44,294 Oh baby that's perfect! I just ate spaghetti, baby! 169 00:09:44,295 --> 00:09:45,709 Oh. Baby... 170 00:09:45,756 --> 00:09:46,290 Baby. 171 00:09:46,291 --> 00:09:46,863 Baby. 172 00:09:46,864 --> 00:09:47,369 Baby. 173 00:09:47,370 --> 00:09:47,876 Baby. 174 00:09:47,877 --> 00:09:48,288 BABY! 175 00:09:49,030 --> 00:09:50,267 Come on Jackie. 176 00:09:50,268 --> 00:09:53,101 Give your man a Valentine's Day kiss! 177 00:10:03,013 --> 00:10:04,945 Call the fire department! 178 00:10:06,135 --> 00:10:07,965 You can't fake passion like that. 179 00:10:09,328 --> 00:10:10,604 We'll be right back. 180 00:10:15,810 --> 00:10:18,315 Well, that was terrific. 181 00:10:18,399 --> 00:10:20,769 Jackie, thank you, you acted yourself darling. 182 00:10:20,770 --> 00:10:25,437 And Fez ... as usual I didn't understand a word you said. 183 00:10:28,913 --> 00:10:29,757 Fez! We did it! 184 00:10:29,758 --> 00:10:31,558 Oh you totally saved my job. 185 00:10:31,584 --> 00:10:35,843 Yes. And you totally were not kidding when you said you ate garlic bread. 186 00:10:43,649 --> 00:10:45,760 There's my Valentine. 187 00:10:47,992 --> 00:10:49,943 See, now. The card is a heart, 188 00:10:50,703 --> 00:10:55,012 actually it's your heart, and it's saying: "Hi Red, remember when I attacked you?" 189 00:10:57,169 --> 00:11:00,003 It's a reminder to cut back on fatty fried foods. 190 00:11:01,152 --> 00:11:02,813 Well that's real cute. 191 00:11:03,103 --> 00:11:03,966 I'll tell you what, 192 00:11:04,548 --> 00:11:08,619 you close your eyes and start counting and I'll be right back with your gift! 193 00:11:10,069 --> 00:11:10,548 1 ... 194 00:11:11,111 --> 00:11:11,590 2 ... 195 00:11:12,180 --> 00:11:12,650 3 ... 196 00:11:13,409 --> 00:11:13,916 4 ... 197 00:11:18,865 --> 00:11:19,962 What the hell! 198 00:11:24,212 --> 00:11:26,482 Oh Nooo! 199 00:11:28,076 --> 00:11:28,612 23 ... 200 00:11:29,221 --> 00:11:30,018 24 ... 201 00:11:30,563 --> 00:11:31,566 25 ... 202 00:11:32,035 --> 00:11:32,946 26 ... 203 00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:35,116 27 ... 204 00:11:35,426 --> 00:11:36,223 28 ... 205 00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:37,781 29 ... 206 00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:39,028 30 ... 207 00:11:39,377 --> 00:11:40,090 31 ... 208 00:11:40,569 --> 00:11:41,262 32 ... 209 00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:42,501 33 ... 210 00:12:03,287 --> 00:12:04,948 Mrs. St. George, are you okay? 211 00:12:05,689 --> 00:12:10,247 Yes, it's ... this happens to me every Valentine's Day. 212 00:12:11,420 --> 00:12:13,348 I see a couple in love 213 00:12:13,349 --> 00:12:20,410 and it reminds me that I am missing the one thing that every woman needs to feel good about herself. 214 00:12:21,038 --> 00:12:22,605 A friend that is fatter then you? 215 00:12:25,242 --> 00:12:26,303 Love! 216 00:12:26,648 --> 00:12:29,481 I sacrificed love for my career and 217 00:12:30,966 --> 00:12:33,874 sometimes I think I maybe did the wrong thing. 218 00:12:35,348 --> 00:12:37,056 Have a drink with me. 219 00:12:40,713 --> 00:12:41,436 Really? 220 00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:44,046 Tell me all about yourself. 221 00:12:44,733 --> 00:12:47,365 Who you are, what makes you tick. 222 00:12:49,149 --> 00:12:50,372 Well, uhm... 223 00:12:50,373 --> 00:12:50,909 No. 224 00:12:52,381 --> 00:12:53,905 Let's go back to me. 225 00:12:56,587 --> 00:12:58,859 I was born in a small hamlet, 226 00:12:59,420 --> 00:13:03,474 just outside a little place I like to call New York ... 227 00:13:06,247 --> 00:13:10,789 And so I returned safely to base-camp. 228 00:13:11,949 --> 00:13:15,218 That half-frozen sherpa on my back. 229 00:13:17,189 --> 00:13:20,171 There is a famous Tibetan folksong about it. 230 00:13:22,295 --> 00:13:23,954 Wow. You're incredible. 231 00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:25,602 So are you. 232 00:13:27,460 --> 00:13:29,019 Here's to you dear. 233 00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:31,479 No. To you Ms. St. George. 234 00:13:32,452 --> 00:13:35,097 Well, that's what I meant. 235 00:13:36,946 --> 00:13:40,439 Why on God's green earth would I drink to you? 236 00:13:42,048 --> 00:13:43,296 You're cut off. 237 00:13:49,613 --> 00:13:50,498 So do I look okay? 238 00:13:50,909 --> 00:13:53,655 Just wanna make sure my outfit doesn't send the wrong message to my date. 239 00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:56,649 Okay, what message are you trying to send? 240 00:13:57,275 --> 00:13:58,348 I'd like it to say: 241 00:13:58,535 --> 00:14:00,069 Hi, my name is Randy. 242 00:14:00,644 --> 00:14:02,901 I'm a fun-loving, yet slightly naughty guy. 243 00:14:04,464 --> 00:14:05,787 The little boy in me is insecure, 244 00:14:05,788 --> 00:14:07,159 but the man in me is cocky, 245 00:14:07,496 --> 00:14:10,577 giving me a playfully heady mix of humility 246 00:14:10,777 --> 00:14:11,588 and aloofness. 247 00:14:13,097 --> 00:14:13,796 I like you, 248 00:14:14,607 --> 00:14:15,280 let's party! 249 00:14:17,229 --> 00:14:19,848 I think you are asking a little too much from a jacket, but ... 250 00:14:19,873 --> 00:14:20,473 go have fun. 251 00:14:22,469 --> 00:14:23,567 Okay Donna, 252 00:14:24,005 --> 00:14:25,252 you're Valentine's here! 253 00:14:26,790 --> 00:14:28,312 I thought we'd start with some Hangman, 254 00:14:28,313 --> 00:14:32,017 then move into something that really gets the pulse racing like ... 255 00:14:32,018 --> 00:14:32,853 Yahtzee. 256 00:14:34,325 --> 00:14:37,082 Alright. Just so long as when you get Yhatzee you yell Poopsie. 257 00:14:38,994 --> 00:14:40,504 That's not a promise I can make. 258 00:14:43,023 --> 00:14:44,396 Oeh, pizza! 259 00:14:48,663 --> 00:14:49,786 Oh. You're back. 260 00:14:50,425 --> 00:14:53,420 Hope your car is not blocking the driveway, we're expecting a pizza. 261 00:14:55,665 --> 00:14:56,514 Donna, 262 00:14:57,237 --> 00:14:59,633 would you go out with me on a big Valentine's Day date? 263 00:15:01,942 --> 00:15:03,677 What about the other girl? 264 00:15:04,051 --> 00:15:05,024 There is no other girl. 265 00:15:05,748 --> 00:15:07,507 I just think you're hot and I want to go out with you. 266 00:15:13,098 --> 00:15:15,817 I'm a father and I'm standing right here! 267 00:15:18,142 --> 00:15:19,390 Here Mr. Pinciotti. 268 00:15:19,702 --> 00:15:20,525 Pizza's on me. 269 00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:24,005 Have her home by sunrise. 270 00:15:30,457 --> 00:15:31,433 Hey Kitty. 271 00:15:34,639 --> 00:15:35,562 Hi Red. 272 00:15:35,899 --> 00:15:38,232 Sorry I didn't get around to making dinner, but ... 273 00:15:38,594 --> 00:15:42,238 I was too busy counting to 956. 274 00:15:43,847 --> 00:15:45,369 Well, it's gonna be worth it, 275 00:15:45,370 --> 00:15:46,642 cause I found your gift. 276 00:15:49,426 --> 00:15:50,274 Look at that. 277 00:15:50,822 --> 00:15:51,672 Pack of gum. 278 00:15:52,707 --> 00:15:53,908 Tire gauge. 279 00:15:55,268 --> 00:15:56,354 Actually the gum was for me. 280 00:15:56,355 --> 00:15:56,752 Red! 281 00:15:58,325 --> 00:16:00,757 Kitty, you always said it's the thought that counts. 282 00:16:00,807 --> 00:16:02,828 Oh I said that to Eric when he was five 283 00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:05,449 and he gave me that stupid macaroni-frame. 284 00:16:06,761 --> 00:16:07,411 You! 285 00:16:08,234 --> 00:16:09,793 What did you do? 286 00:16:12,076 --> 00:16:12,850 I'm sorry Red. 287 00:16:13,462 --> 00:16:15,033 I was down there picking out a gift for Sam 288 00:16:15,707 --> 00:16:17,456 and she caught me and assumed everything was for her. 289 00:16:18,142 --> 00:16:19,690 And she started kissing me everywhere and... 290 00:16:21,012 --> 00:16:22,347 I just handed everything over to her. 291 00:16:23,657 --> 00:16:24,781 That's her power man. 292 00:16:26,253 --> 00:16:27,451 Good God Steven, 293 00:16:27,538 --> 00:16:28,810 the whole stash? 294 00:16:29,123 --> 00:16:30,894 Look, I know I owe you an apology but 295 00:16:30,969 --> 00:16:31,631 can it wait? 296 00:16:31,681 --> 00:16:33,941 Cause Sam just send me up here to get some whipped cream. So... 297 00:16:37,523 --> 00:16:38,021 Sorry! 298 00:16:41,642 --> 00:16:42,078 Okay. 299 00:16:42,951 --> 00:16:44,286 What were you two talking about? 300 00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:48,555 Well Kitty ... 301 00:16:49,826 --> 00:16:52,597 I had a stash of gifts down there for every occasion. 302 00:16:52,834 --> 00:16:54,905 That way, if I forgot to buy you something, 303 00:16:55,330 --> 00:16:56,578 I'd still be covered. 304 00:16:58,249 --> 00:17:00,086 You buy my gifts in bulk? 305 00:17:02,344 --> 00:17:04,701 Nooooo ... it's ... more of a ... 306 00:17:05,749 --> 00:17:07,697 vast inventory of love. 307 00:17:12,515 --> 00:17:13,076 Well, 308 00:17:13,476 --> 00:17:17,704 you're about to get a vast inventory of my foot in your ass! 309 00:17:19,591 --> 00:17:22,248 Yeah! I can do that too! 310 00:17:34,330 --> 00:17:35,366 Wow. 311 00:17:36,987 --> 00:17:39,358 So ... this was for me all along? 312 00:17:40,031 --> 00:17:40,493 Yeah. 313 00:17:41,329 --> 00:17:44,699 For one day I wanted to transform this crappy little record store 314 00:17:45,311 --> 00:17:47,369 into a crappy little bistro. 315 00:17:50,688 --> 00:17:51,575 Thanks. 316 00:17:53,471 --> 00:17:57,404 So, when I asked you out, why did you pretend to have another date? 317 00:17:58,027 --> 00:17:58,577 Donna. 318 00:17:58,801 --> 00:18:00,834 I've wanted to ask you out for a long time. 319 00:18:01,446 --> 00:18:04,627 And then you kinda beat me to it and I'm kinda of a traditional guy. 320 00:18:04,814 --> 00:18:06,249 I like to make the first move. 321 00:18:07,337 --> 00:18:10,094 But ... if you want to make the second move, 322 00:18:10,630 --> 00:18:12,190 well, you're in luck. 323 00:18:13,989 --> 00:18:15,349 I'm not wearing a bra! 324 00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:21,462 That's good to know. 325 00:18:29,686 --> 00:18:30,448 Hey! 326 00:18:31,085 --> 00:18:33,194 I just had the best meal! 327 00:18:35,027 --> 00:18:37,584 Somebody left two whole steak-dinners in there! 328 00:18:39,182 --> 00:18:40,656 Now if you'll excuse me, 329 00:18:41,231 --> 00:18:43,389 I'm off to the Monster Truck Show. 330 00:18:50,892 --> 00:18:51,802 Would you just listen? 331 00:18:51,803 --> 00:18:53,624 Oh Red, I'd love to talk to you 332 00:18:53,625 --> 00:18:56,069 but I have to check the pressure in my tires! 333 00:19:00,012 --> 00:19:00,449 Hey Red. 334 00:19:01,147 --> 00:19:03,432 Kitty told Sam the presents weren't for her. 335 00:19:03,433 --> 00:19:04,355 Now I'm kinda in trouble. 336 00:19:04,356 --> 00:19:07,512 So, I got us each a bouquet of flowers for our ladies. 337 00:19:09,634 --> 00:19:11,456 Kitty! I got you roses! 338 00:19:12,491 --> 00:19:14,163 See how it feels, dumb-ass? 339 00:19:20,106 --> 00:19:21,790 Jackie. Come in. 340 00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:22,613 Please. 341 00:19:23,748 --> 00:19:26,905 I just wanna thank you for yesterday. 342 00:19:27,442 --> 00:19:30,411 I feel we really bonded. 343 00:19:30,847 --> 00:19:34,730 As much as a star can bond with a commoner. 344 00:19:36,539 --> 00:19:38,361 Well I'm ... I'm really glad that we talked. 345 00:19:38,810 --> 00:19:40,843 You know, I got to see there's a real person in there. 346 00:19:41,205 --> 00:19:43,739 Someone with hopes and fears and emotions. 347 00:19:43,864 --> 00:19:45,985 Well, I'm only human. 348 00:19:47,158 --> 00:19:52,587 And you snuck a rare peak behind my iron curtain didn't you? 349 00:19:54,209 --> 00:19:54,761 I know. 350 00:19:54,762 --> 00:19:56,732 You know I really feel like I got to know you better. 351 00:19:56,782 --> 00:19:58,142 Yes you did. 352 00:19:58,455 --> 00:19:59,739 And so you're fired. 353 00:20:01,773 --> 00:20:02,621 Wait, what? 354 00:20:03,008 --> 00:20:06,775 I cannot have an employee know so much about me. 355 00:20:07,711 --> 00:20:10,996 And since you're TV career is finished, 356 00:20:10,997 --> 00:20:13,129 may I suggest bartending? 357 00:20:13,977 --> 00:20:16,123 You pour a mean Scotch, lady. 358 00:20:17,933 --> 00:20:19,468 W..no no no no. This isn't fair. 359 00:20:19,779 --> 00:20:21,403 I work my butt off for you. 360 00:20:21,502 --> 00:20:23,324 Thank you. Out you go. 361 00:20:26,031 --> 00:20:26,754 Go on. 362 00:20:27,478 --> 00:20:29,901 Okay alright you know what? Nobody here likes you. 363 00:20:30,126 --> 00:20:33,083 They only pretend to like you because you're famous. 364 00:20:33,569 --> 00:20:36,803 And I pretend to like them because they bring me lunch. 365 00:20:38,624 --> 00:20:41,868 Oh God. Ohhh. You are a crazy bitter lady 366 00:20:41,869 --> 00:20:43,552 with a hole where your heart should be! 367 00:20:44,014 --> 00:20:46,048 Now is that supposed to hurt me? 368 00:20:46,261 --> 00:20:48,832 I have a mug that says that. 369 00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:56,320 Those shoes are so last season! 370 00:20:57,741 --> 00:21:00,688 Rot in hell you worthless maggot! 371 00:21:07,556 --> 00:21:09,228 Well I guess that's it. 372 00:21:09,278 --> 00:21:11,835 Awww, I promised myself I wouldn't cry. 373 00:21:11,836 --> 00:21:13,308 Wadda ya know, I didn't. 374 00:21:15,453 --> 00:21:15,927 Okay look. 375 00:21:15,928 --> 00:21:18,172 Christine is obviously looking for a new assistant, 376 00:21:18,173 --> 00:21:19,407 so I put in a good word for you. 377 00:21:19,408 --> 00:21:21,690 Really? Even though I was so mean to you? 378 00:21:22,015 --> 00:21:23,237 Wow thanks. 379 00:21:29,427 --> 00:21:30,874 What's Up Wisconsin? 380 00:21:31,124 --> 00:21:32,908 I licked your phone! 381 00:21:32,909 --> 00:21:34,729 I licked your phone!