Dad.
Hey, y'all, there's something I need to tell you both.
Okay. It's not that big a deal.
Don't freak out.
What do you mean, "Don't freak out"?
You know the monastery I wanted to visit here?
Well, it has a meditation center too.
The reason I asked to come here
is so that I could check it out.
And I did.
And I really, really like it.
And I think it's what I'm gonna do after I graduate.
I don't understand. You… You…
You… You want to what? I… I'm, um…
Move here. After I graduate. Just, like, at least for a year.
Move here and… and do what?
Meditate. And… And, like, immerse myself
so I can really understand Buddhism
and develop my spirituality.
But you're not a Buddhist.
Yes, I am, Mom.
Honey, you're not from China.
What does that have to do with anything?
You can be interested in this stuff,
but you could never really be it.
We're from an entirely different world.
Okay, well, you call yourself a Christian,
but you weren't born in Bethlehem.
But everyone I know is a Christian.
My parents were Christians. Your parents are Christians.
I… I thought we were here for your thesis, Pipe.
There is no thesis.
- What? What do you mean? - There is no thesis.
There's no thesis?
We're here to check out this meditation center
because I'm gonna live there for at least the next year.
You want to live in Taiwan?
What?
What happened?
Nothing happened, Mom. I…
- Honey, I just… - You've known that I wanted
to do this. You've known that I wanted to…
Gaitok.
What are you doing? Something wrong?
N… No, no. Uh, I… I just want to see Mook.
- M… Mook? - Yeah.
Okay. Good. Um, um…
But, um… just a few minutes, please.
- Ok… Okay. - Because who is in the booth?
- Yes, yes. Okay. - It's fine.
- Okay. Thank you.
Thank you.
And I'm sorry.
I am very sorry for lying to you.
I didn't… I didn't want to do that. I…
Confidence, Loch.
Okay, that's how you get people to do what you want.
Because most people don't know what they want,
and a lot of them… Here's a little secret.
They just wanna be used.
No, I'm serious. Th… They don't have the vision.
They're just sitting there waiting for someone
to come along and tell them what to do.
I like the little magician.
I just like innocent, young guys.
When they see you naked, they shake.
And you can see their little hearts
beating inside their chests.
I just want some attention. You know?
Gary used to want it three times a day
and now, he's like a fucking monk.
Oh, I could never cheat on Rick.
I'm a romantic.
- Oh, no. Chels. - What?
When I was modeling, all the girls who were romantic
ended up broke and brokenhearted. Or worse.
What's worse?
Chloe likes your magic.
It's good. I mean, she's a little bit older,
more mature.
That's what you need.
And I'll try for the other one
because she's so fucking rude to me that it turns me on.
And I love a good challenge, you know?
But it's better to go for what you want in life
and get rejected than have the shot
and not take it.
We have one life, Loch.
But what if this life is just a test,
like, to see if we can become better people?
No.
What?
Something really bad's gonna happen.
No.
No, it is. Rick's a hothead.
He's fucking mental.
He gets into fights,
but I'm always there to calm him down, so…
But you can't waste your whole life
trying to rescue him.
He's like my child.
He's 50.
Come on. Come on.
Dude, here they come.
Hey, what are you guys doing over here?
Ah, you know, brothers being brothers.
Brothers bonding, you know.
Brotherly love.
Wait, so you guys know each other from Russia?
Vladivostok. We were friends since we were young.
Same here. We've been friends since we were young, too.
- Yes! - Yes.
- No way. - Same, same.
My parents are dead.
Oh, no.
And my sister is a bitch. That's why I like my friends.
- They are everything for me… - Everything.
…you know?
Do all the men in Vladivostok look like you guys?
What, incredibly handsome?
- Oh. Uh… - That's not what I said.
Okay, Aleksei and I were in dance class together.
Uh, yes, uh, ballet.
Oh! Jaclyn…
- Yes! - …and I met in ballet!
- Yes! We did, yeah. - No way.
- Yes! - I actually played softball.
And I did exercise with tires.
When you flip tires and… and ropes, like, heavy ropes.
- Like that. - Oh my God.
Since we're all trained dancers…
- That's a lot! - …except for Kate and, um…
- Vlad. - Vlad.
- Should we?
Should we dance?
Laurie? Would you like?
Okay.
- Okay! - Whoo!
You're already on the dance floor!
- Yay! Whoo! - All right, let's go!
All right then, let's go.
Khun Belinda.
- How are you? - Oh.
Are you enjoying the exchange?
- Absolutely. - Oh, great.
It appears you have many fans.
One of our regulars was just asking me all about you.
Really?
Yeah, wanted to know your name and why you're here.
I think you've caught his eye.
Who was it?
He's an American. He has a lovely girlfriend,
but he certainly seems interested in you.
I think he's quite rich.
I'll introduce you.
I don't know what to say. I'm…
Look, I didn't want to lie, but I wanted to come here
to make sure that it was the right place for me,
and… and it is.
You're gonna live in some dirty monastery
for a year with a bunch of grungy kids
who have no purpose?
Mom, it's not that I don't have a purpose.
I just think that this will help me
figure out what that purpose is.
You didn't have to go halfway around the world
to a place where they don't even speak English.
I need to figure out what makes me happy.
Okay? Obviously. I'm… I'm not Saxon.
I'm not just gonna sign up to all of the…
- All the what? - All the bullshit!
Fabian, I need to fill you in on a little something.
I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
I'm, uh, a little freaked out. Uh…
The guy that was asking about me,
I know him.
I've met him in Maui.
He was dating a woman I was gonna start a business with.
She was gonna help me open up my own spa.
- Okay. - And…
…I just found out today…
she's dead.
She was murdered.
And, uh… I mean, it's not clear.
She… she drowned, but people were murdered
last summer in Italy.
Okay.
Greg was her husband.
Gary?
His name's Greg. I saw him at the beach barbecue.
I recognized him. He lied. Changed his name.
And I think he's obviously hiding out here.
Why?
They're looking to question him.
- Why? - They think he killed his wife.
No… I'll send you the link!
Do that.
Because I'm having trouble following.
It's just, I'm a little worried, because he's asking about me,
because I recognized him, okay?
And I think he could be, you know, a little dangerous.
You think he's dangerous?
I mean, he killed his wife.
I mean, I think we should call the police.
Don't you? But which ones, right?
Thai police? The Americans? Italy?
- Maybe we call all the police. - We are not calling the police.
What?
You may be mistaken.
And we shouldn't even be gossiping.
It's bad form to talk about a guest in this way.
Some people here have colorful pasts.
It's really not wise to stir anything up.
I don't think you have anything to worry about,
as long as you focus on yourself and your job.
I didn't sense Gary had any ill intentions.
He was just, uh, curious.
I think you'll survive.
Madame, bonsoir. Ça va?
I'm just trying to understand
why you've become so extreme.
From my point of view, it's not extreme.
You'll be dropping out of society, Piper.
Mom, it's just a year.
In a year, you could end up
with a completely different set of values.
Different than what?
- Than the ones we gave you! - Yeah. That's kinda the idea.
Are you hearing this?
Uh, I… Is it…
I gotta… Uh, I'll be right back.
He's in shock. We're both in shock.
I cannot find something.
I think you have it.
I don't know what you're talking about.
So what happens at these parties?
Well, you know, all the vampires come out.
Everyone gets laid.
And we need to honor the local traditions.
Right?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
So what happened to your man?
He had to go to Bangkok.
Dealing with some personal issues.
Well, no old men with issues here tonight.
Oh, trust me. You've got issues.
- No. - Yeah.
No, I'm like a blank page. I'm a fresh breeze, baby.
I can be anything you want me to be.
How about you just be not weird?
Hey!
Look at this guy.
My man, what's happening? It's great to see you.
- Wow, you look great, man. - You look great.
You thirsty?
- Yeah, whatever you want, man. - Yeah.
Bar's right through here. This way.
Okay.
Oh, that was so fun.
God, we used to dance like that for hours.
Oh! Like a hundred years ago.
- Shut up, Kate! - Oh, boy.
I'm out of shape.
No, you're not. You look great out there.
He made me look good.
Stop it.
You guys looked amazing.
Well, you're a very, very sexy dancer.
What?
Whoa! He just called you a sexy dancer.
No, no, he's a charmer.
I tell the truth.
Oh my gosh, wait.
Hey, what is that? What is that?
Ah, shots!
Shots, we bring shots.
- Shots. - Medicine.
- Brought you medicine. - One for you.
Yes!
Yes, vodka.
Na zdorovye!
Jaclyn,
we only say that in movies.
- What? - What do you say?
- Za lubov. - Za lubov.
- "For love." Za lubov. - Za lubov.
Zo lubov?
- Za luboyv. - Ja luboyv.
Za lubov.
Shia LaBeouf!
Oh my gosh.
No, no, no, no. I'm done.
- I'm done. I'm done. - Yes, Kate!
Oh my God! I'm a lightweight!
- I can't! Guys! - Kate! Kate! Kate! Kate! Kate!
Kate! Kate! Kate! Kate! Kate! Kate!
Somebody else do it! Somebody else do it.
Whoo!
Somebody had to do it.
- Somebody had to do it. - Oh my God!
Everything okay with you? You seem nervous.
Maybe post-traumatic stress from the injury to your head.
I have antacid if your stomach upset.
Uh, I get digestion issue when I'm nervous, uh…
You want antacid?
- Sawatdee khrap. - Sawatdee khrap.
What if it's a cult, Piper?
- We need to look into it. - Oh my God.
- We haven't even seen the place. - Mom, I promise you
it is very legit.
The monk who runs it,
he has written major books.
So? Charles Manson wrote books.
Bill Clinton wrote books.
The list goes on.
Hillary Clinton wrote five books.
Mom, does he look like Charles Manson to you?
No, but he doesn't look normal.
He looks like a Hare Krishna.
Oh my God.
There's sex cults, Piper. NXIVM.
- Oh, come on. - You could end up a concubine
to some weird guru with a bunch of sister wives.
Getting branded and all sorts of…
Don't look at me like I'm crazy.
It happens all the time. Sheltered girls like you
are constantly getting brainwashed and turned out.
Okay, Mom, well, if it's a cult,
it's a cult with a billion members, okay?
Still a cult! Look at the Catholics.
Look at them. Organized religion
and deviant sex can go hand in hand.
Okay, Mom, well, you know what?
I'm happy for you to talk to him or whoever, all right?
- Like, 'cause… - Good.
Because we're gonna go over there
first thing tomorrow, and your father's gonna have
a nice visit with him. Right, Tim?
Yeah, sure, I'll talk to him.
I don't even have my Lorazepam.
I'm gonna have to drink myself to sleep.
Why is she so bothered?
Oh, I think it's just…
hard for her to get her head around, honey. You know?
Well, it's not like y'all ever raised us
to be big Christians.
I was an altar boy, you know?
Sung the solo at Christmas service.
Lo, how a rose e'er blooming
From tender stem hath sprung
- Of Jesse's lineage coming - Okay.
- As men of old have sung - Goodnight.
It came a flower bright
In the cold midwinter
When half-done was the night
Chloe. Uh…
- To make drinks. - Yes, thank you.
- And, uh, pink for the lady. - Come on, we got to share it.
- I'm gonna make this call. - Oh, come on.
- Just drink it. Come on! - I'll be back in a sec.
- Back in a sec. - Perfect! She doesn't want it,
I'll take it.
- Khun Bird! - Hey.
- Hi! - You come to Full Moon Party?
- Yes! So nice to see you. - Oh my god.
Great to see you too.
Dude. Dude!
Pace yourself.
We need you on your game tonight, okay?
Let them get all messy.
Dude, I'm a senior, bro!
In high school!
One day,
I'm gonna take you down.
Yeah? Come here. Come here.
- Stop it! - Huh? A little noogie?
- You want a little noogie? - Guys, guys, guys.
- Look what I got. - What? Uh, nope.
Saxon doesn't do drugs. I am the drug. Whoo!
They're little candies.
They're little sweeties! Take it.
- Mm-mm. - Come on.
Ooh. Dude!
- Yes. - Dude.
- What? - What are you doing?
Don't be mad.
- What's the problem? - Nothing.
Can I get a De… a Dewar's? And, what do you want?
Do you have a chamomile tea?
Okay, one Dewar for you
and one chamomile tea for you, sir.
Thank you, thank you.
Chamomile tea?
Yeah.
Hey! What you doing, are you already asleep?
Look, I don't wanna fight, okay?
I wanna talk to you.
I hope you're okay.
Bye.
- No. - Fuck him.
Whatever, I'm ready to have fun.
- Good timing. - There she is. Finally. Yes.
Look what I have…
What is it?
Come on. This is our one night away
from the grumpy old geezers. Come on. Take it.
That's true.
Oh, boy. Yeah!
- Last one. - Nope.
Do it.
- Do it! Do it! Do it! - Do it! Do it! Do it!
Okay! Okay.
I don't normally take drugs…
so don't take advantage of me. Let's go!
- Okay! - We'll try real hard.
Yeah. Really hard.
- Cheers. - Uh-huh. Hmm.
How is your chamomile tea?
It… It's good, yeah. It's good.
- You're not drinkin'? - Been sober ten months.
Ten months?
- Yeah. - Wow.
I don't think we've ever hung out sober.
- Ever. - Well, what can I say?
You know, I've… I, uh… I found religion.
Really?
Wow.
- What happened? - Well, you know, it's…
I took the partying thing as far as it could go.
Yeah.
You did always take it to the next level.
I kind of figured we'd be doing that tonight.
Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you.
Ah. You're not disappointing me.
It's really good to see you, man.
It's so good to see you, dude.
I also wanted to bring you what you asked for.
And I appreciate it.
Hope you don't have to use that.
What, you getting tender-hearted on me?
Praise Buddha.
Yeah.
Okay, I think we should go.
Really? No.
Okay. God.
Valentin.
- I think we're gonna go. - We're going?
- Yeah. - No, no, no, don't go.
It's normal. They always fight like this.
No, no, no, we need to go.
You guys should come back to the villa.
Yes, yes, let's drink at the villa.
That's a great idea.
I'll get you a taxi,
and we'll meet you back at the hotel.
Yes!
I don't think that's a very good idea.
Hey, I think we should just go to bed, don't you?
Aleksei.
I'll see you back at the villa.
Do svidaniya!
I have seen him here, yeah.
I'm telling you…
Do you think he might want to do something?
Like, to me. You know?
I mean, it would be just my luck.
I'm just starting to feel good about life again,
and plot twist, out of the blue, just…
Seriously.
Hey.
I'll keep you safe.
Sounds like it's coming from right outside.
No. Sounds like it's inside.
- Shit! What the fuck? Jesus! - What, what, what, what?
- Oh! - Oh my God!
Oh my God! Oh my God!
Get it out! Pornchai!
Okay, okay.
Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm!
This way, this way.
Yes, yes, that way.
That way, yes, yes.
No, get it out, get it out, get it out.
You're going home now. Yeah. Okay. Go, go, go.
Okay, okay.
- Oh, God, thank fuck. - Done.
- Seriously, what was that? - Phew!
A lizard, a lizard.
You must have left the door open.
Oh my God, was it living in here with me the whole time?
He's gone now, and you're okay.
And, uh, maybe I should go.
Uh… N… No. Please stay.
Would you mind?
Zion will be here tomorrow, and then I'll have him,
but for tonight it's just…
And I'm a little…
scared.
Okay.
Okay! Thank God!
Thank you! Thank…
Thank both of you, so…
What are people gonna say?
They're gonna think we're bad parents.
I wouldn't worry about that.
You can do everything right,
but still, at any moment…
something can come along and…
upend everything.
Oh, God.
Please.
Oh, please, God.
Uh-oh!
Here she comes!
- Yeah! - Whoo!
Well, you know, I'm…
I moved here because, uh…
I moved here because, you know, well, I had to leave the States,
but I picked Thailand because, uh…
Because I always had a thing for Asian girls, you know?
And when I got here,
oh, I was like a kid in a candy store.
You got money, no attachments, nothing to do.
I started partying.
- It got wild. - Yeah. Mm-hmm.
I was picking up girls every night.
Always different ones, petite ones, chubby ones,
older ones, sometimes multiple ladies a night.
I… I was out of control. I became insatiable.
And, uh…
You know, after about a thousand nights like that,
you start to lose it.
I started wondering, where am I going with this?
W… why do I feel this need to fuck all these women?
What is desire?
The form of this cute Asian girl,
why does it have such a grip on me?
'Cause she's the opposite of me?
She gonna complete me in some way?
I realized that I could fuck a million women,
I'd still never be satisfied. Maybe…
Maybe what I really want,
is to be one of these Asian girls.
Really?
You know?
- Uh, not really. - No, really.
Really?
So…
One night I took home some girl, turned out to be a ladyboy,
which I'd done before, but this time,
instead of fucking the ladyboy, the ladyboy fucked me.
And it was kinda magical.
And I got in my head that what I really wanted,
was to be one of these Asian girls, getting fucked…
by me and to feel that.
Uh-huh.
So I put out an ad, looking for a…
White guy, my age, to come over and fuck me.
Found a guy looked a lot like me.
Then I put on some lingerie and perfume, made myself…
look like one of these girls, and…
I thought I looked pretty hot.
And then this guy came over and railed the shit out of me,
then I got addicted to that.
Some nights, three, four guys would come over,
and rail the shit out of me.
Some I even had to pay.
And at the same time, I'd hire an Asian girl…
to just sit there and watch the whole thing.
I'd look in her eyes
while some guy was fucking me, and I'd think…
"I am her and I'm fucking me."
Hey, we all have our Achilles' heel, man,
you know.
Where does it come from?
Why are some of us attracted to the opposite form?
- Yeah. - And some of us the same?
Sex is a poetic act. It's a metaphor.
Metaphor for what? Are we our forms?
Am I a middle-aged White guy on the inside, too?
Or inside…
could I be an Asian girl?
Right.
I don't know.
Guess I was trying to fuck my way to the answer.
Then I realized I gotta… I gotta stop with the drugs,
the girls, the… You know, trying to be a girl.
I got into Buddhism, which is all about,
you know, spirit versus form, detaching from self,
getting off the never-ending carousel
of lust and suffering.
Being sober isn't so hard…
Being celibate, though, that's…
I still miss that pussy, man.
Yeah.
"I don't know if she can do a deal from soup to nuts."
And I'm like, are you fucking kidding me?
Are you fucking kidding me?
I can do any kind of deal. I'm a fucking great lawyer.
And I was like, maybe I'll just leave.
Maybe I'll go to K&E and tell them to fuck off.
'Cause what am I going to do?
NDAs and disclosures, for a fucking Fortune 500?
My mother died when I was seven.
- Oh, no. - Yeah. And my father died
- when I was twelve. Mmm. - That's… that's rough.
- That's so… - I lived, uh, with my, uh…
- my mother's sister. - Your aunt?
Yeah, my aunt. But she was like an evil woman.
She broke bottle on my head.
- Why would she do that? - Look.
'Cause you know what? I have to pay spousal support.
See? Brutal.
And do you know what palimony is?
Hmm. Ha, ha.
No, Laurie…
We saying, you need a man to take care of you. Huh?
Real man, not American man.
- Real man man. - No, no.
She blamed me for the death of her son.
Oh, God.
But this is not true. It's bullshit.
You know what, guys? I think the night's over.
We got… We need our beauty sleep.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. We're old ladies.
We are not!
Okay, well… Laurie, Laurie…
- Yeah! - Yeah!
Vlad!
Oh, gosh!
Ah! Jaclyn.
- Good luck with your family. - Get out of here!
Good luck with your family.
Let's go.
Ah… Ah… Ah… Wait…
You, uh, coming to the match tomorrow night, huh?
- Yes. - Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I told you, Muay Thai, our friend is boxing.
It's going to be fun, huh?
You… Stop. Easy, tiger!
Okay.
Bye.
Hey, my watch! My watch!
Thought they were never gonna leave.
- Oh, that was so fun. - Aw!
- So fun! I love you guys. - See, we can still have fun!
Yes, yes.
Laurie, you should've hooked up with them.
Uh, all of 'em?
- One of them. - No.
- Or two of them. - Oh, no, no, no.
- Goodnight! Go. - Mm-mm. Nope.
- Love you. - Love you.
Go to bed. Wrap 'er up.
Put a bow on it.
Uh…
Uh, should I, um, sleep in this bed?
- Sure. - Okay.
Or, um… There's room in this one,
there's room in that one, there's, you know,
like, either way.
There… It's just, like, cool with me.
But just so you know… I'm just… I'm…
This is consent, if that is…
Do you guys do that here? We just started, so there's…
I'm a-okay with… It's like,
It's whatever, it's whatever you…
whatever is…
Whatever is cleverer.
So, um…
If you wanna get me,
you gotta come and get me.
Oh shit! Watch out, watch out!
What? Oh, what now?
I'm so worried.
Why do I have to worry all the time?
Well, then don't.
It's always about his feelings, and his moods, and his pain.
You know, I have pain too.
Yeah, w… we all have.
Yeah, bad things have happened to me.
You don't see me walking around feeling sorry for myself.
I'm pretty high, dude.
You're so beautiful.
You're gorgeous.
Should the four of us just…
- No. - Why not?
- If Rick found out. - Oh, why? Would he kill you?
No. I'd just feel terrible.
Well, Gary might kill me.
I honestly think he's capable of it.
But you know what? Right now,
that is a chance I'm willing to take.
Woah!
Come on, Lochy.
A little magician.
A little magician who's gonna do his little magic.
You slag.
Come on. Come on, Lochy.
The big dog on the space cat. Woof, woof!
Oh, boy.
- It was great to see you. - Yeah, yeah.
It's, uh… It's good to see you too, man.
I guess I'll see you on the astral plane or whatever,
- whatever they say. - Listen…
I may need another favor from you.
What is it?
It's not a big deal. Just a bit of role-play.
Hey, well, I owe you one, so let me know.
Keep tomorrow night free for me?
Tomorrow night. You got it.
- Okay. - Okay.
Let's fuck.
Yeah!
Yeah, come on.
Oh, come on!
What are you doing?
Write… Uh, writing a note.
S… Something I gotta remember to do.
Can't you sleep?
Obviously not.
You haven't been acting like yourself, Tim. What's going on?
Do you understand the expectations?
You know? Do you have any idea the expectations on me…
from day one?
I haven't known a single day without all this shit put on me.
Sorry. Sorry, sorry.
It's not, uh… I'm sorry. Just… It's just stress.
There's no reason to be stressed, Tim.
You've already succeeded in every way.
Yeah. Yeah.
Come to bed.
In a second.
Oh, please, God.
Please.
Tell me what to do.
Please.
Lo, how a Rose e'er blooming
From tender stem hath sprung
Of Jesse's lineage coming
As those of old have sung
It came, a blossom bright
Amid the cold of winter
When half spent
Was the night